"So, when are you going to invite us to your new apartment?" demands Ino.

Hinata cringes at the question, but Ino is frowning at Shikamaru. He doesn't respond, his cheek propped up with a hand and his eyes glazed over. Hinata thinks he went to sleep at three, finishing an essay that was apparently due that day.

Ino jabs her chopsticks in his face. "Hello? Earth to Shikamaru!"

He blinks, and then looks past Ino. "The ramen is here."

"You—" She is cut off when a bowl of ramen is placed in front of her. Ino settles for glaring at Shikamaru as she thanks the waiter.

Their table is already erupting in noise. It's mostly because of the other blond sitting with them. Hinata looks over the group, smiling. Unfortunately, a lot of people are missing. Today, there are only five of them, including Hinata and Shikamaru. Tenten and Naruto are arguing fiercely over something, with Sai occasionally adding inappropriate comments. She hasn't seen them in a while, so the sight makes her giggle. It's times like these that make her wish she still lived in the dorms where their group first came together.

"Well, what about you, Hinata?" prompts Ino. "Can we visit your house?"

Hinata resists the urge to look at Shikamaru.

"I don't think . . . my father would let me invite people over." She bows her head apologetically. "I'm sorry."

The blonde smiles. "It's alright. At least you have a valid excuse, unlike Shikamaru."

Almost unconsciously, Hinata glances over at Shikamaru. He meets her eyes evenly, his face blank, before he slowly raises his eyebrows the longer she stares. Face red, she coughs into her soup and averts her gaze.

"I'll find out somehow," promises Ino, narrowing her eyes at Shikamaru.

He shrugs, chewing slowly on his noodles. Hinata wonders what it must be like, to live so carefree. It's almost like he doesn't care that he's married to a girl he doesn't even love, doesn't even know that well. He acts like nothing has really changed.

She's a little jealous.

Someone nudges her shoulder. Hinata squeaks, glancing up at Naruto's beaming face.

"Hinata, it's been a while! I was going to say hi earlier, but Ino was hogging you," he tells her with a pout.

Her face flushes red, and her eyes dart down to stare holes into the floor. "Oh. Naruto-kun." The stilted words sounded foreign, even to herself.

There is a strange pause. She looks up, but not at Naruto. At her other side is Ino, staring at Hinata with a crease between her brows and a frown on her lips. Hinata keeps her face pointed away from Naruto, smiling wanly at Ino. In the corner of her eye, sitting beside Shikamaru, Tenten has her mouth slightly open in surprise. She should have been sitting next to Hinata, because Hinata had planned on avoiding Naruto as much as she could while still enjoying the presence of her friends. Apparently, Tenten and Naruto had switched seats so he could talk to Hinata, and the mere thought that Naruto wants to be closer to her makes her heart pound.

Her chest hurts.

". . . Hinata? Are you okay?"

She grasps her chopsticks firmly, knuckles white. "Of course, Naruto-kun."

Sai is blinking in confusion. He opens his mouth, but Ino silences him with a wave of her arm, staring intently at Hinata. The gaze is too probing for Hinata's liking.

Turning to look at her noodles, Hinata catches a quick glimpse of Shikamaru from across the table, his face in a distinct expression of pity. Her hand trembles slightly—she's weak and angry and sad and heartbroken—as she stares down at the ramen. The attempt to distract herself by eating fails when the noodles fall limply from her chopsticks just before they can reach her mouth.

Soup splashes lightly over the edges of the bowl. A droplet slides down the porcelain, a salty tear trailing over a pale cheek. Hinata wants to cry.

The marriage between her and Shikamaru had come at a terrible time. Naruto no longer had a crush on Sakura, and he and Hinata had gone on a date a day before she found out about the arranged marriage. She and Naruto were supposed to go on a second date because the first had gone so well, but Hinata had canceled because it conflicted with her wedding.

She loves Naruto, but she can't condone cheating, regardless of the distinct lack of romance in her marriage. The prospect of dating Naruto no longer exists. It's unfortunate that her feelings for him haven't changed, aside from their new edges of heartbreak and frustration.

"Hinata." She doesn't want to hear Shikamaru's voice right now. He sounds blank, unemotional, and she can only wish that she could be as unaffected when facing a lost opportunity.

Which is the best thing to describe Naruto, rather than an ex-boyfriend or anything of the like. Hinata has spent many hours and days wondering if she would have been urged to marry Shikamaru, had she already been dating Naruto. She doesn't know. All she knows is that she didn't confess to Naruto yet, and she will never get a chance to. That one, glorious date they had will never amount to anything else because she's married.

Biting her lip, she drops her chopsticks and pushes her chair back.

"Hinata, what—"

"Are you—"

"Hinata?"

"Wait a—"

Shikamaru says nothing. He only watches her with that horrible, pitying look.

"I'm sorry," she says, standing in a rush, "I have to go."

And she runs.

a/n: totally not edited/proofread, so there may be some inconsistencies. this was supposed to be shorter, but it came out like this? also i have no idea where this story is going oops