It's three in the morning and Hinata has been sleeping for three hours. Shikamaru is checking his email because he recently finished an important presentation for one of his classes and he's in a state of tiredness where he can't quite fall asleep despite his exhaustion. It might have something to do with him sleeping through all of his Friday classes (he waited until the last minute to pick his courses and ended up with some truly terrible class times, notably his Finance class at 7:30 on Friday mornings).
An email from his mother catches his attention. Shikamaru grumbles to himself at the missing subject line. He clicks on the email and is suddenly assaulted by images of popular vacation spots. The picturesque turquoise waters of Bora Bora make him narrow his eyes. He scrolls down to bypass all the pictures and he skims the single line of text his mother left at the end of the message.
"Where do you and Hinata want to go for your honeymoon?" he reads aloud before groaning.
He scrolls back up and sees that his mother also sent the email to Hinata so there's no chance that Shikamaru can pretend he never received the email. Maybe he can convince Hinata that they don't need to go on a honeymoon. Before the wedding, his parents had implied that he and Hinata could decide on honeymoon plans by themselves and the Nara and Hyuuga families would cover the costs together. Shikamaru would much rather stay in bed than go somewhere romantic with Hinata. He'll have to bring up cancelling any honeymoon plans with Hinata later, after interrogating her about what's been bothering her lately.
Since he arrived home with a drunk Hinata in tow, he is even more sure that the main issue Hinata is so upset over isn't the Microbiology exam she failed. Hinata doesn't give up easily. For instance, Hinata is good at cooking but not very experienced in baking. She recently tried making cinnamon rolls for the first time—apparently, her family banned her from baking at home because her batch of cupcakes caught fire and destroyed the oven—and although she didn't burn down the apartment, Shikamaru wasn't able to recognize that the glob of cinnamon-covered dough she presented him was a cinnamon roll. For the next week or so, she zealously made cinnamon rolls at least twice a day, improving bit by bit, until she took a bite of her own cinnamon rolls and started crying because of how delicious it was. Shikamaru remembers this vividly because he had walked into the kitchen for a snack and saw Hinata chewing a cinnamon roll with tears silently rolling down her cheeks. He backed out of the kitchen without a snack. But, as the cinnamon roll incident proved, if Hinata fails, she will pick herself up and try again. She wouldn't get drunk and cry about it instead of trying to improve.
Shikamaru shuts down his laptop and turns on his phone. Instagram opens under his thumb as he tries to figure out what's wrong with Hinata. On his phone screen, a blond man wearing a ridiculously small party hat beams from behind a three-tiered cake, his arm slung around his grinning son—Naruto.
It clicks.
His immediate reaction is frustration and annoyance, but he recalls the promise he made with Hinata to think about her feelings more and starts to feel guilty. Shikamaru rubs his temples and glances down at his phone. He's not sure how to comfort Hinata and he knows his typical bluntness will only hurt her even more. With touchy, emotional matters, it's best for Shikamaru to seek advice from an emotional expert.
"You better have a really fucking good reason for calling me at three in the goddamn morning," hisses Ino, groaning.
Shikamaru clears his throat. "I need your help."
"Oh?"
He rolls his eyes at how fast her tone brightened. "I have . . . a friend, who is hung up on someone. Their feelings are mutual, probably—I think my friend is more invested than the other person, but the other person is definitely interested—but for some complicated reasons, my friend can't be with the person they like. How do I get them to move on?"
"Okay. First of all, you're trying too hard to be gender-neutral about a friend who's obviously a woman."
". . . What are you talking about?"
"You had that tone you use when talking about women," she informs him. "It's a mix of irritation, weariness, and mostly confusion."
"Fine, whatever. I'm talking about a female friend. Can you help me or not?" he demands. He is distantly aware that his refusal to divulge anything else about his "female friend" is raising warning bells in Ino's mind, but he also knows she won't push him if he's truly uncomfortable.
She clicks her tongue. "Calm down, of course I'll help you."
Shikamaru sighs. Since he and Hinata got married, they have only had one proper conversation about problems that have arisen from their marriage—and it was facilitated by his mother's presence, as well as being more like mutual apologies than a thorough talk. He needs to sit down and talk with Hinata because he really believes that at this point, their marriage will fall apart sooner rather than later. Shikamaru isn't accustomed to feeling so constantly frustrated by another person. He can't ignore Hinata like he does with others, not when they live in such close quarters.
"It sounds like your friend trusts you a lot if she told you about her situation—" Shikamaru almost snorts, but he holds his breath when Ino pauses suspiciously. She scoffs at him. "I wasn't going to pry, but if you're going to keep dropping fucking hints in front of me when I'm trying to help—"
"I don't know what you're talking about."
Ino takes a deep breath, clearly forcing herself to accept Shikamaru's poor lie. "Anyway, I know you really hate it when people mope around, but you should let the poor girl cry. It's unhealthy to repress feelings and if she sees the guy she likes again—"
"I forgot to mention that my friend and that guy have mutual friends so there's no way she can avoid him," adds Shikamaru.
". . . Ugh. As I was saying, when she sees him again, she'll have a breakdown if she was repressing her feelings. That said, although you should give your friend time to be sad, don't let her stew in her feelings too much and become depressed. If it looks like she needs a breather from her emotions, do your best to distract her. Take her out to lunch, study with her, or whatever. And talk to her. Not to be cheesy, but communication is key. It sounds like you're not getting along with her right now, and I'm guessing it's because you two are venting frustrations at each other but not trying to fix anything. Think before you speak and use "I" statements because I'm a hundred percent positive that you have at least a dozen critical "you" statements about her on your tongue right now."
"Uh."
"Don't say stuff like, 'I hate it when you cry all the time'. Try saying, 'I feel frustrated when I see you crying because I don't like it when you're sad'."
He holds his tongue, trying to reword his abrasive thoughts into non-accusatory "I" statements he can tell Hinata. Ino allows him to think, staying quiet and not hanging up in case Shikamaru has something to say. He appreciates it.
"Thanks," he says finally, "I'll try to follow your advice."
She laughs. "You'll be fine. And if you call me this early again, I'll kill you."
"Thanks again. 'Night. Or good morning?"
"Shut up. Good night."
Once Ino hangs up, Shikamaru's gaze switches from his phone to the bedroom door. It would be easier, he thinks, if he wakes Hinata up now and talks to her while she's still out of it. It would also be underhanded, says a part of his conscience, which has Chouji's warm voice and Ino's firm tone. It would also deprive him of more sleep, adds his brain, coupling this thought with a headache. He makes his decision easily.
Shikamaru enters the bedroom and collapses onto his side of the bed. He makes sure that the body pillow in the center of the bed is adequately keeping Hinata from taking over more space on the bed as well as keeping her cuddling tendencies occupied. As if on cue, Hinata mumbles something incoherent in her sleep and swings a leg over the body pillow, tucking it closer to her. Her lavender duvet is near her feet and halfway on the floor. Shikamaru pulls it up and over Hinata's shoulders. Then, he tucks his own black duvet around him and drifts into a dreamless sleep.
Shikamaru wakes to the sound of groaning. He keeps his eyes squeezed shut, resisting his instinctive desire to check the time. Whatever time it is, it's too early. On the other side of the bed, Hinata shifts around, making pained noises. He idly wonders if she will notice the painkillers and glass of water on her nightstand.
Hinata gasps softly. He hears her moving around, and then the quiet clink of a glass bumping against the lamp on Hinata's nightstand. It's honestly a little creepy to be pretending to sleep while listening to Hinata gulp down water and sigh, but he can't seem to fall back asleep and he wants to postpone talking to her for a little while longer. He rolls over, burying his face into his pillow.
"Shikamaru . . . ?"
He is silent, keeping his breathing slow and even. His muscles relax when he hears Hinata leave the room. Despite Ino's advice, he is dreading talking to Hinata.
A few minutes later, Shikamaru hears footsteps approach. Hinata is standing by his side of the bed. He has a sinking feeling and digs his fingers into his pillow, just as Hinata tries to rip it away from his head. When he successfully defends his pillow, she tears his duvet off the bed. Goosebumps rise on Shikamaru's skin at the sudden chill.
"You're awake!" says Hinata, sounding pleasantly surprised as Shikamaru drags himself into a sitting position.
He picks up his duvet from off the floor and drapes it over his head and shoulders, keeping only his face visible. Hinata smiles at him. Shikamaru stares at her bloodshot eyes and pasty complexion. Her lips are chapped and trembling.
"Something's bothering you," he begins, lowering his pity-filled gaze to a loose thread on his sleeve.
She sits cross-legged on the end of the mattress, tugging her covers over her shoulders. The silence is stifling. Pale hands twist in the sheets.
"I'm going to go out on a limb here and ask if it has anything to do with Naruto."
He raises his eyes slightly to gauge her reaction and manages to catch the flush rising up her neck. He waits.
She mumbles, "He texted me. He wants . . . to eat ramen with me." For Shikamaru, that is not a very tempting offer and it's also an offer Naruto gives out frequently to friends, but he understands that Hinata must have wanted, after years of pining after Naruto, to accept.
He carefully chooses his words in his head, but somehow ends up saying, "You—I mean, I . . . think you should tell Naruto that you aren't interested in dating him anymore. You haven't done that yet, right?"
"No," answers Hinata, but she sounds horrified. "I can't—I should tell him, but if I do—"
"You'll feel like your chances with him are completely gone," he guesses.
She doesn't nod so much as sharply jerk her chin up and down. Shikamaru makes eye contact with her and forces himself to keep his gaze locked on hers, trying to emit as much sincerity as he can.
"I'm sorry. I really am. Now that Naruto's finally got his head out of his ass, you two could've been a really great couple." Hinata lights up in Naruto's presence, though she hasn't done so lately. "But now that we're married, dating Naruto is impossible and you need to accept that."
Hinata bursts into tears. Having expected this outcome, Shikamaru twists to grab a tissue from the box sitting on his nightstand and holds it out to Hinata. She accepts it, but her tears continue to flow.
"It's okay if you want to explain to him that we're in an arranged marriage," he tells her quietly.
She gestures slightly for another tissue, which Shikamaru promptly supplies.
"I don't know. I don't know if . . . Naruto-kun will understand."
Shikamaru wouldn't tell Naruto, if it was his choice. Telling Naruto about the arranged marriage would confirm to Naruto that Hinata still has feelings for him, and both of them would suffer, because they will continue to like each other even if they can't be together. Alternately, if Hinata tells Naruto she isn't interested anymore, Naruto will be hurt but he will move on because he will believe that his feelings will never be returned. And perhaps even worse is that Naruto is Naruto—bold, blunt, and unrepentantly free of social expectations. If Naruto had been set up in an arranged marriage (though Shikamaru can't even imagine Minato-san or Kushina-san doing that to their son), he would have refused and quite possibly eloped with someone. Naruto won't be able to understand why Hinata couldn't—didn't—say no. (Shikamaru understands. And he won't let Naruto disapprove of Hinata's—their—decision.)
"I know you don't want to lie to Naruto. You can just say that you're already in a relationship, which is true."
"Isn't that lying by omission?" she asks, and just thinking about the prospect seems to make her weep even more.
"Technically—"
"A—And doesn't that sound like I cheated on my boyfriend with Naruto-kun?"
"We got married after you had that first date with Naruto," points out Shikamaru.
"Naruto-kun will wonder why I . . . started going out with someone after we had our d-date together."
"You had a great time with Naruto, and you were looking forward to going on another date with him, but someone else—uh, I guess I confessed to you, but don't mention me by name. You decided to give me a chance and our date went well so we started dating. Since then, you've been struggling to tell Naruto because you didn't want to hurt his feelings," suggests Shikamaru.
Hinata doesn't speak for a long moment, her shoulders hunched and her head lowered. He holds out another tissue to her before he catches sight of her expression. Tears drip down Hinata's face, but her eyes are squeezed shut as though she is trying to restrain her tears. Her nose is scrunched up, runny, and a rosy red like the rest of her face. The dark bags under her eyes seem especially prominent now.
All Shikamaru can think is that he's never seen a woman look so ugly in his entire life.
He scoots closer to Hinata. With one hand, he gently tilts her chin up. Pale eyes spring open, but Shikamaru ignores her and wipes her face clean with his tissue.
"I get irritated when you cry," he admits. "You're prettier when you smile. And ever since we got married, you've been smiling less often."
A quiet gasp escapes her lips. Her eyes are wide.
He sighs. "Well, I can't get irritated at you for crying right now. I know you've been keeping problems to yourself and letting them fester because the only person you can talk to about them is me—and well, I've been an asshole." Shikamaru grabs a tissue and offers it to Hinata. "I said it before, but I am sorry. Cry all you want. You deserve that and more."
Shikamaru yelps. His arms are suddenly full of a sobbing Hinata, who is quickly dampening the fabric of his shirt. He feels awkward, like yesterday, and he's hyperaware of the warmth of Hinata's body pressed against his. Before he can decide to shove her away, Hinata tightens her arms around him and whimpers. Fuck, he thinks. Hesitantly, Shikamaru keeps one arm around her waist and uses his free hand to stroke her hair, uncoincidentally the same way Chouji and Ino like to be comforted. Shikamaru can feel Hinata shuddering beneath his fingertips.
Hinata sobs for what feels like hours. Shikamaru never pushes her off, despite his discomfort. Even when he gets so tired that he falls backwards onto the mattress and Hinata is a heavy weight on his chest, he lets her stay there. When Hinata eventually falls asleep from exhaustion, Shikamaru doesn't bother to move Hinata or try to get up.
He closes his eyes and sleeps, an arm still curled around Hinata.
Two steps forward and one step backwards.
Since Shikamaru and Hinata woke up with their arms around each other and their legs entwined, things have been awkward. The tension from before is no longer present, but Shikamaru is almost more bothered by the awkwardness than the tension. Hinata resembles a tomato if he so much as glances at her and Shikamaru goes through great lengths to make sure he and Hinata won't make physical contact. Once, Hinata had been standing behind him as he rummaged through the refrigerator, and when he realized his elbow was close to touching her, he almost flung himself into the open refrigerator door to back away. Hinata's usual blush was absent as she gave him an odd look and asked him to move aside so she could grab a drink in the shelf he was pressed up against.
Shikamaru swiftly got tired of them dancing around each other, so he enacted the "distraction" portion of Ino's advice. He asked Hinata to have lunch with him at a café and she agreed. After her final class, they walked together to the café, occasionally glancing up at the darkening sky. At the café, they received their drinks quickly but are forced to wait for their food in an awkward silence. Hinata is the first to break under the pressure and she brings up a terrible conversation starter.
They engage in a stilted chat about the weather. The clouds in the sky are gray and heavy, nothing like the white, puffy clouds Shikamaru enjoys watching when the sky is a bright blue and blades of grass are tickling his skin. He doesn't say this to Hinata when she brings up the bad weather. He only tells her that he hates rain, and the sky punctuates his statement by drizzling water onto the streets. Rain droplets leave paths on the café's windows, distorting the view of people scattering for shelter. Sitting across from him, Hinata is staring wistfully at the rain. She's probably one of those people who likes to dance in the rain, he thinks, and it is easy to imagine her wet bangs pressed against her forehead and the grin on her reddened lips as she tilts her head back so the rain can pepper her face. Shikamaru grimaces at the thought. He should stop watching movies with Chouji and Ino. Lately, both of them have been dragging him to sappy romantic films, though admittedly Chouji forces him to come because Ino is the type who likes to excitedly or angrily slap the arm of the person sitting next to her and having two arms at her disposal means the pain is more evenly dispersed.
As the rain shifts, pounding against the roof and windows, Hinata jolts and dives into her bag. She pulls out item after item, setting them on the table. Even in her frantic state, Hinata neatly organizes everything. Chapstick, lotion, and a tube of mascara are bunched together in the corner. Two notebooks and three thin paperbacks are stacked on top of one another. Shikamaru can tell that the topmost paperback is written in a foreign language. He reaches out and angles the stack towards himself so he can read the titles of the books. Hinata slides the books back into her bag before Shikamaru can get a proper glimpse. He inhales deeply at the sound of Hinata's upset sigh.
"What were you looking for." He hadn't meant to sound so monotonous, but it bothers him that the one time he shows interest in Hinata's things, he is deterred by Hinata, of all people. It's petty of him, so he reaches for his coffee and takes a large gulp to center himself. At least Hinata didn't seem to mind his tone.
"I didn't bring my umbrella," she says, wringing her hands. "We'll have to wait until the rain is gone to leave."
"Well, we don't have any more classes today so we're not in a rush," he replies, though he is uncomfortable spending time with Hinata.
She gives him a small smile that Shikamaru would have believed if she isn't clutching her cup of tea so tightly. He is well aware that he makes her equally uncomfortable.
No one speaks.
Hinata is chewing her lip and now Shikamaru is the one who is trying to think of something to say. Then someone calls out the number for their order and the pair stares at each other, wondering who will go get it. Shikamaru mutters under his breath and stands, heading towards the counter. As he picks up their sandwiches, he eyes the display of baked goods.
The whole reason he had chosen this café was because it has good cinnamon rolls. And yet, Hinata only gave the cinnamon rolls a longing stare before ordering a sandwich.
"Excuse me, can I also have one cinnamon roll?" he asks, because sometimes the way to a woman's heart is her stomach. Or so Chouji says.
He has to go back to the cash register to pay for the cinnamon roll, but he leaves the sandwiches on their table. Hinata watches him leave with a furrow of her eyebrows. Shikamaru is forced to the end of the line at the only working cash register, and though there are only three people in front of him, he is immediately mentally and physically exhausted. By the time he returns to the table with a cinnamon roll in tow, he half-wishes Hinata had gotten the food instead. Hinata takes one glance at his face and immediately returns her attention back to her sandwich. Shikamaru tries to stop frowning as he shoves the cinnamon roll towards Hinata.
She licks her lips at the sight of the cinnamon roll but pushes it away. "Shikamaru, you ordered this."
"It's for you."
Before he is even done talking, he looks down at his sandwich and takes a large bite. It's not bad. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees fingers dragging the cinnamon roll's plate away from his side of the table. The smirk that rises to his lips is hard to suppress.
He looks up at Hinata. Already, a chunk of the cinnamon roll is gone. Hinata's eyes flutter close as she takes another bite.
"How did you know I like cinnamon rolls?" she asks after a moment of savoring the flavor.
"The cinnamon roll incident."
Hinata's fork stops halfway on its path to her mouth. " . . . 'The cinnamon roll incident' . . . ?"
Shikamaru belatedly realizes that although she did offer him her first attempt at a cinnamon roll, Hinata doesn't know that he watched her go through sixteen servings of cinnamon roll ingredients a day for an entire week afterwards in her efforts to create a delicious cinnamon roll.
"After you gave me that really terrible . . . cinnamon roll," he begins, a note of exasperation in his tone, "I saw you crying in the kitchen over a cinnamon roll. I'm still a little traumatized."
Hinata blushes furiously. "My father wouldn't let me bake after I ruined the oven. But after we moved into our apartment, I realized that I could start baking again since we have a new oven. And I wanted to make cinnamon rolls first, because . . ."
She stops.
Her face isn't red anymore, so Shikamaru knows she isn't embarrassed. Her eyes aren't watering, so Shikamaru knows she isn't sad—no, he corrects himself. Hinata's eyes are glazed over and she's staring in his direction, but it is painfully clear that she is looking through him. Her hand clenches around her fork for maybe five seconds—and then it goes slack.
"Because I used to make them with my mother. It's been a long time, so they weren't good in the beginning, but the last batch I made . . . um, it reminded me of the cinnamon rolls she baked."
She doesn't cry, but she doesn't smile either. The pain is an old ache, he guesses. Her mother died when she was young, but the passage of time has made Hinata treasure the memories of her mother deeply, even if her grief isn't as constant as it used to be.
Shikamaru picks up her fork and stabs a piece of the cinnamon roll, to Hinata's horror. He chews the piece thoughtfully, swallows, and then comments, "It's alright. I'm sure your cinnamon rolls taste better."
The corners of her mouth twitch upwards. "Haven't you already tried one of my cinnamon rolls?"
"That wasn't a cinnamon roll," he says flatly.
"I'll make more cinnamon rolls this weekend," promises Hinata, laughing.
He gives her a dubious look in response, despite his previous affirmation of faith in her cinnamon roll skills, that sends Hinata into a fit of giggles. It's weird, he thinks. Talking to Hinata isn't supposed to be this easy. It's surprisingly . . . not troublesome. Shikamaru contemplates this, casting a quick look at the windows. The rain outside has lightened considerably, enough for them to be able to dart into the convenience store around the corner and grab an umbrella to go home with, but Shikamaru finds himself unwilling to leave.
"So," he says, propping his head up on one elbow, "what else can you make?"
a/n: i'm not sure if this will ever be explicitly mentioned in the story (lol tho this is a college au), but shikamaru is a business major and hinata is a bio major. they don't have any classes in common. hinata and shikamaru both have classes mon-fri, but hinata's classes typically start around 9 and end in the afternoon. shikamaru's classes are mostly from afternoon to the evening, with some exceptions (i won't list them all but there's his early morning friday class and on wed, both he and hinata only have two classes that day with their final classes ending around noon-ish) because he waited until the last minute to pick his classes. also, the honeymoon wasn't discussed with hinata in this chapter but will be brought up again later. and btw shikamaru's solution for the naruto problem is not the ideal and mainly focuses on keeping naruto away from hinata. and hinata doesn't quite agree with it, but she's also very tired of hurting and wants to distance herself. thank you to those who suggested prompts, i'm keeping everything in mind and they really boosted my creativity, so this chapter is out within the month, haha. thank you to everyone who favorited/followed/reviewed! if you review this time, i'd love to know why you ship shikahina!