WAIT HOW LONG WAS I GONE? Honestly, I am not sure, I had like a ton of work to do, but I felt like I would be able to update earlier. Have I been gone for a month? I hope not, that would be terrible. I should just have kept the same "one chapter a week"-mentality that I had during the first story, it felt like giving myself freedom is not working out so good.

Anyway, it is coming to a point where I have to deviate from the movie quite a bit, even though I was kind of doing it already, but I felt like I had something to hold on to and now I just kind of have to swim on my own more and more because of the changes I made before. I hope that there will be no plot holes or anything like that, but please feel free to inform me if there are any, so I can try to fix them. It really has something to do with being gone for too long, too, because I had to read up on my own freaking story. I am so stupid, stupid, stupid. Anyway, let's get this chapter started!

DISCLAIMER: Sadly, I still do not own Death Note or any of its original characters or plotlines. But my OC's are mine. Also, I am a typo manic, so I would not recommend my stories if you are against those.

WARNING: This chapter includes some adult content. I don't think it goes too far or too adult to warrant an M-rating, but I wanted to warn the younglings nonetheless.

XxX

12. How Did We Miss It

I didn't think I was the extremely sentimental type, but I found myself hugging my Task Force and being thankful to L for allowing them into his headquarters, his circle. We both weren't very social, but maybe we both saw that like this, we were losing. And Near wasn't going to be of much help, wherever he was now.

'Where's Mishima?' Nanase asked me, looking around the room.

I felt like a little deer then, trying to convince the bigger ones not to bully me. Not because I thought they would, but because I kind of felt like they should. 'Errhm, he is with L… stealing the Death Note from the police quarters.'

'I beg your pardon?!' Kuromoto said, his eyes wide.

'It seemed to be the only way to secure the Death Notes from neo Kira!' I stuttered, trying to explain fast enough as to not drive them away before I could explain. 'We aren't going to use them of course! We just need them to capture Neo Kira.'

Nanase already seemed to have accepted it, only the two men seemed unsure. 'How, exactly?' Uragami asked.

I frowned. 'What'd you mean?'

'How exactly are we going to use the Death Notes to capture Neo Kira?'

I couldn't help but smile. Because he had said we. 'Neo Kira will want to kill Ry—L and therefor he will need to meet L, see his face and, of course, learn his name. He wants the standoff equal to the original Kira and L, like a true copycat. L wants to use that to draw him out, on the pretence of the final battle, with all the Death Notes in place, of course. Then we will come in and save the day.'

'He'll know it's a trap,' Kuromoto said immediately.

'Of course.' I smiled once again. 'But as far as Neo Kira knows, the Task Force is no more. He will count on some sort of L-like trap, he will not be counting on us.'

I had not explained anything well enough; they all looked confused. 'Look, L isn't going to meet up with him. He is going to a location to drop of the Death Notes, but that will likely draw him out, don't you think? He or an accomplice will surely follow L. So some of us stay put at the location with the Death Notes, others will follow L. And we will see how the tale unfolds.'

I saw the doubt in their faces. And I agreed. It was not a great plan. Especially if Neo Kira had the eyes. But Ryuzaki had come up with the plan and if that was the plan he had, it probably was the best plan we got. 'I know it's not the great big masterplan that you were all expecting, but it's the only plan we have. Neo Kira already full well believes that he has won. We can use that against him.'

'We can turn his arrogance into a weapon.'

We all looked at the glass stairs, where, at the top, two familiar faces stood.

Well, two familiar faces to me. One of them was completely new for the others.

It was different this time then when Ryuzaki met us the first time, during the first Kira case. We had been cautious and surprised. Nervous. But there hung a sort of judgement on it, as if the Task Force was not only surprised, but confused by his looks.

Nothing of the sort was happening now. They didn't seem confused by his aged, or his looks. Maybe I made the difference. Maybe the way I looked and my age helped them shape a more accurate version in their head.

'Ah, now that you're all here, please call me "Ryuzaki" from now on. For security's sake.' Everyone was still silently staring at him as he walked down the stairs, Mishima following after him like a dog. I was surprised to find Mishima with the suitcase that probably held the note.

After that, it took the others not even ten seconds to completely recover. 'Alright, boss,' Kuromoto said. 'What do you want us to do?'

XxX

It had gone surprisingly smoothly. Ryuzaki and Mishima hadn't seen anyone, so they didn't feel at risk. Mishima was glad to discover that no one had changed the passwords to the vaults yet, so they could get in without any alarm bells going off.

I could tell Ryuzaki wanted to talk to me, but we were too busy with everything else. He had found no matches to the person and Arma had not found Ico yet. As if she disappeared. Another theory begun to form in the back of my mind, a more terrifying one. What if the one she was trailing was following by Shinigami? And what if they held her hostage now, determined to see this game to the end?

Somewhere during planning and searching, I must have dozed off, because I awoke in my chair to find a completely different scene then when I was awake.

Sometime during the nap I took, Watari had brought sleeping bags. Uragami and Kuromoto were peacefully sleeping, Nanase was still working behind a laptop and softly speaking into her phone, which, surprisingly, Ryuzaki had not taken away. It sounded like she was making excuses to a friend of familiar member, which was odd, since one of the Task Force rules was that you could not have any direct family or close friends.

I found myself scanning the room for Ryuzaki, only to realise that he wasn't there. Watari was, sitting in the corner of the big desk with all the screens, working and probably watching over all of us like the father-figure he was. I could ask him where Ryuzaki was, of course, but I felt like I kind of knew where. Still, when I stood to find him, Watari said to me: 'He is upstairs, in case you were wondering.' The smile on his face was only vaguely tired.

I knew what he meant with 'upstairs'. 'Yeah,' I replied. 'I guessed. Thank you.' I looked around. 'Are you okay looking after them? I'm sure if you just leave food and water they'll be golden.'

Watari's smile wided as he shook his head. 'What kind of host would that make me?'

I found myself grinning as I headed towards the stairs, calling after Watari as I almost ran. 'Um, I don't know. The Ryuzaki-kind?'

Watari chuckled softly at that, a sound that faded once the elevator arrived and I got in, pressing the button for the highest floor the elevator could reach, planning on taking the last few floors up with the stairs, so I could reach the roof, thinking that that was where Ryuzaki was.

Only I was wrong, as I found him at the top of the last stairs, close to the roof, but not quite there.

'Hey,' I said slowly, my awkwardness so loud and clear that I cringed. 'What are you doing?'

'You look better,' he claimed, even though he wasn't looking at me. And he wasn't answering my question.

'No, I don't,' I replied honestly. 'I haven't had a good night's sleep in ages, your food supplies suck and stress is eating away at me.' I bit on my tongue, wondering why I said all this now. As if I was blaming him. I shook my head, shaking the thought away. 'You didn't answer my question.'

A small smile played on his lips. 'I didn't fail to notice,' was his response.

'Well. Are you going to answer it?'

He did not. Instead he said: 'Misa's gone.'

And I did not know how so react to that. It came out of nowhere. And Arma, who was supposed to keep an eye on her, why didn't she come to inform me? The confusion on my face must have been obvious, because Ryuzaki shook his head. 'The facilities does not know yet. She escaped while in isolation. She freaked out in the canteen not too long ago.'

I took a step back, down the stairs, gripping the railing as if my life depended on it. I noticed I was shaking, but I did not care enough to try and get it under control. 'H-h-how do you know all of this?'

Ryuzaki had his knees pulled up, but on the stairs, the position seemed even more unnatural. As if the way he put his hands on his knees and just stared in front of him, not focusing on anything. 'I had… I had someone on her. To follow her actions.'

'You had Misa followed? Since when?'

He blinked a few times before finally looking at me. His face held some confusion, which, in turn, confused me. 'Since you told me she behaved strangely.'

The words echoed through my head like a haunting spell. Since you told me she behaved strangely.

That was weeks ago.

Ryuzaki stood then, putting his hands in his pockets. 'I'm sorry. This was still part of the 'not thoroughly communicating with you'-situation. I would have told you if it had come up in conversation.'

I held onto the railing and let myself slid down to the stairs. 'I…. I believe you,' I said and I meant it. I just had no idea what now. 'What do we do know?'

'Nothing,' Ryuzaki responded quickly. 'Someone is watching her so as long as nothing bad or too suspicious is happening, I guess we'll be alright. We can give her some freedom if that's what she wants… if that's what you want.'

The double message was so obvious that I looked up. 'Is that what you think of me? As someone who escaped from you?'

Ryuzaki did not answer, but the way he stood, the way he looked, it told me enough.

'Being with you never felt like a punishment, Ryuzaki,' I said and in the moment I meant it. Even if I had felt like that. It did not feel like a lie. 'I will never regret being by your side.'

'But you still need time,' he said, speaking the words, but clearly not understanding them.

And I was starting to feel like I didn't understand them myself. 'Yes. I have to. Because if I am not going to take time to think about things, I would have to blame myself for putting myself through this all. Again and again. Because in the end, I am guilty of the choices that brought me here and I can not, will not, let that get the better of me. I believe I deserve better than that.'

It was very easy to see that Ryuzaki did not completely understand, but that was fine. I didn't really completely get it either.

I stood. Immediately Ryuzaki seemed on guard, as if he was afraid I might slap him. As if I hadn't stopped doing that long ago. 'Can I hug you?' I asked.

Ryuzaki blinked. I did not get any more of a reaction, so I repeated the question. 'Can I hug you?'

Ryuzaki observed me then, as if he was trying to read my mind, scan the mood. And then he pulled his hands out of his pockets and folded his arms open, not much of an invitation, more an allowance.

I bridged the distance between us and wrapped my arms around him, my hands against his back and my cheek against his chest. And I stayed there, just listening to him breathing and his heart beating.

And then came the guilt. Because I was always pushing and pulling, it seemed. Even though Ryuzaki confused me, he was never really about the pushing and pulling. His problem was communicating and just… basic human instinct. I was much, much worse. And what was even worse, was that Ryuzaki felt like he was the punishment.

No, I reminded myself, reigning it in before I let my insecurities destroy me. I had needed the time, yes, and Ryuzaki did need to think about my role in his life. We weren't officially broken off, especially since I wasn't sure if we'd ever really been together.

But then came the broken plea, whispered in my ear, and my guilt came rushing back: 'How can I ask you to stay?'

I wasn't sure how he meant that question. And I wasn't sure how to answer it. So I whispered: 'I am not going anywhere.'

I felt his hair tickle my neck when he shook his head, not dismissive, but like he didn't believe me. Couldn't believe me. And the seemed much, much deeper than I could ever cut. 'Ryuzaki,' I then asked, my voice soft, but not a whisper. 'Are you ever going to tell me what happened to your parents?'

Ryuzaki grabbed my shoulders and pushed me off of him, wiping away something he did not want me to see. 'This plan will work, you'll see,' he told me. 'And when all of this is over, we can talk. You know, if we—' He stopped, looked away, starting walking down the stairs.

It took me way too long to finish his unfinished sentence in my head. And when all of this is over, we can talk. You know, if we survive.

No. No. I refused.

I ran after him, grabbed his wrist and turned him around. 'Marry me,' I said, my voice loud and clear. I saw the confusion hit, but I spoke before he could. 'When all of this is over. I won't run. I won't… I can help you. But I need to be safe and know that you will never leave me. Then I will stay. So. Promise me you will marry me after this is over. That you believe that there's a chance to do that once this is over.'

It was clear that I had surprised him more than I should have, I saw that he had a difficult time processing whatever it was I told him just now. Like the concept of anyone wanting to marry him seemed absurd to him.

'Marry me,' I repeated. 'If not directly after this, let's make it a promise for someday. Just believe that I want to be by your side forever and treat me that way. And I promise you I won't leave you. That will be my vow.'

'I-I don't-' as Ryuzaki spoke, he sounded breathless. I had taken his breath away.

'Marry me,' I said, as if it was the easy answer. I took his head in my hands. 'Marry me,' I said again. 'And never doubt that I would want to marry you.'

'You don't know what you're saying,' he said, 'it's a lot more paperwork than… adopting a dog or faking an ID or—'

I pressed my lips against his open mouth, shut him up before he could think of any more excuses. Even if it never happened, I never thought myself the marrying-type, he needed to know that I could. That I had no problem legally binding myself to him. That I would lose my future the moment he lost his.

I was surprised by the desperation in my actions and in the way he started to kiss me back. Even though we knew our lifespans were maximized, even if we knew we could win, even if we had friends on our side. There was an overwhelming sense of worry and desperation, like bottled of feelings from years and years ago. When he had left me, when he had feared he lost me.

He allowed me to push him against the wall next to the elevator door. I allowed him to slide his hands under my shirt.

He licked my lower lip and I may have moaned, loud enough to undo something in the both of us. With one quick movement he had turned us, put me against the wall as he seemingly tried to get as close to me as he could, while I tried to open my mouth wider and wider, tried to get as much of him inside of me as I could.

We only pulled away so I could pull of his sweater and he helped me with my shirt. My bra. His pants. Until there was nothing there, nothing, no death, no Kira, no Shinigami. Nothing but us two. And I felt something burning inside both of us, a growing believe and trust.

We will get through this. And we will stay together.

I allowed this wish to become my truth as I allowed him to take me into his arms and drift away.

XxX

I awoke lying on the ground at the end of the elevator, lying on Ryuzaki's sweater while my own was draped over me like a blanket. I woke to a soft voice, speaking into the telephone, and only then realised that Ryuzaki was sitting beside me, stroking my hair, his pants already back on. And he did not look at me while he spoke.

'No, I agree… Yes, that would be great, keep the crime scene untouched until we arrive… I am there, and I will bring Nanase with us, too, I think she'll be of help… I know, I know. You couldn't have done anything. Maybe this was where she was meant to end up.'

I stared up at his face, so serious, almost scary. It felt like I had fallen down the stairs instead of lying beneath it and our earlier… activities had nothing to do with that. 'What going on?' I asked, my voice hoarse, as if I'd slept for years.

Ryuzaki looked down, but instead of answering, he looked at me while he spoke into the phone. 'She has woken up. I'll call you when we're on our way… Yes, thank you.' He hung up. And just stared at me with a saddened look that I didn't know how to place. I immediately wanted to blame myself for it, but I couldn't think of a why or a how or—

'What is going on, Ryuzaki?' My voice was high with panic.

'Sshh,' he said, the sadness clear in his voice now. He leaned forward to press a kiss against my cheek. And then used that nearness to softly whisper: 'It's about Misa.'

XxX

I somehow imagined me and Ryuzaki showering together before work, but that didn't happen. He was out of the shower and back in his clothes before I even got back into the room okay, only because I had to get dressed before taking the elevator downstairs.

Ryuzaki didn't say much about where we were going or why, which gave me some idea as to what was going on. She might have gotten into an accident. Maybe she connected with Neo Kira. We knew he liked to pretend to be the real deal. Maybe, just maybe, something worse happened. But I didn't dare to ask Ryuzaki about that and it didn't seem like he wanted to answer. It seemed like he wanted me to see it for myself.

At first, I thought nothing had changed. But small things here and there made me believe the opposite. When I got out of the shower, Ryuzaki kissed my fingers. When he walked to the car, he held my hand. Only to let it go once Nanase showed up. I wasn't sure why we were taking her with us.

I felt it, though, when we were close. I felt something burning behind my eyes, like a firing alarming me. Ico had taught me how to push it down, but I couldn't help but recognise the burning. The burning that alluded to the power of the Shinigami Realm.

I had somehow expected us to go to Misa's apartment, but when we got out, I saw the apartment complex Matsuda and Yagami had died in, and froze. I wasn't sure I could handle going back in there.

And it turned out I didn't how to. Ryuzaki led me away from the entrance, until a saw the familiar police tent where they hid victims from the sunlight. No, not victims. Corpses.

My stomach started to turn around the same time we were close enough to see her.

And then I started running.

She wasn't sitting on the wooding bench, but sitting beside it, her head leaning against the hard surface. Her eyes were open, but sad. Her make-up make a trail of tears that had already dried. And in her leather gloved hand, she held a single piece of paper.

I didn't ask permission as I grabbed it, took it out of her hands. My burning eyes told me enough about where the paper came from and I started sobbing without tears. The date was writing on the top of the page, followed by a single, heart-breaking sentence.

Misa Amane dies peacefully in Light Yagami's arms.

I think I may have started screaming.

XxX

This was a chapter. Yeah. I don't have very much else to say (woah, great English…). I knew two things were going to happen in this chapter for certain, since that was in the notes I had for this story, but I hadn't really thought this one out the way I usually do, so I hope it didn't matter too much for the quality or the length, but I guess we'll have to wait and see.

I don't know when I'll be able to update next and I think it's smart not to make any promises, so I won't. But I will try to update soon.

ALSO, the end is nearing, way faster than I thought it would. I would advise anyone who does not want to spoiled at this point to not watch the movie now. If you have already seen it, you know why, but if I haven't, don't plan on it, it might spoil this story a little bit... if that makes sense. Does that make sense?

Anyway, THANK YOU for reading and I hope to see you guys soon. Now I am going to start 13 Reasons Why season 2 and hating myself for watching it because it makes no sense to make a second season, but anyway. ADIEU!

XxX

sibunasiren10: Ahh, no reason to apologize, life is busy, believe me, I get it. I am sorry I haven't been updating much these last few months! Good to know my chapter still manage to make people happy! And thank you for people so nice and lovely, I wish you all the best, too! (sorry that there's not much Allison and Watari interactions in this chapter, I will work on that! It's always nice to hear feedback) Anyway, thank you so much for reading and reviewing and I wish you good luck with midterms and finals and school and college and everything you are doing.

XxX