First things first: I am sorry I haven't been updating much lately. I thought I could keep a somewhat normal schedule, but that went out the window, so here are some reasons why:

Number 1: I am currently moving. And we are almost done now, but it really takes up all the free time you have.

Number 2: the end of the school year is near and I had to turn in like five million assignments and stuff and it was way more work than I thought so it resulted in a lot more stress than necessary.

Another important thing is that I always finish stories, no matter how long it takes. BUT there is something that can literally prevent me from doing so. You see, I live in the Netherlands, and there's this law that the European Union is trying to pass which has something to do with copyright law. Anyway, if that law actually passes, it means that there's a big chance people in Europe will not be able to view or post anything on fanfiction sites etc or even access them at all. So that is awful, but that means that I will not be able to update the story, literally because the government will not let me.

So there's that warning, I will try to warn people beforehand if that's happening, but if I suddenly completely disappear from the face of the earth (and by that I mean... this site), that's why.

So… Sad time over, let's start this chapter!

(I then proceeded to completely forget to actually post this chapter a week ago… wow, I suck…. Anyway, here it is.)

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Death Note or any of its original characters or plotlines. But my OC's are mine. Also a typo warning, because I am often too busy or read over them. English is also not my first language, so some mistakes are inescapable.

XxX

13. Light is gone

Misa stood tall, despite knowing she was being followed. She didn't necessarily care anymore. She just felt empty.

It was almost time. If he wasn't coming now, it meant he would never come. Maybe he would come for her after?

She smiled. Idiot. He didn't love you. Doesn't. He doesn't love you. He would never. He was using you and abusing you and he would throw you away the moment he had the chance. She knew this. At least, she thought she knew this. And yet she couldn't bring herself to care enough, to stop caring. She could lie to Olivia, but it never worked. She was in love with Light Yagami, whether he was here or gone.

She was wearing white. She never wore white. It didn't fit her image, and she thought the colour made her look too innocent. But, right now, it seemed to fit her. Like an angle with wings, like she could fly away.

Only four minutes left. And she was just standing there. The people following her weren't even moving. Not stopping her, not catching her so they could bring her back to that awful place were the had to smile and eat and pretend like everything was fine. Because she was Misa Amane and she was lovable and everyone was supposed to love her. Probably. Maybe.

Misa Amane didn't really feel loved. She wasn't sure what that felt like. But at least those men weren't trying to catch her, imprison her in a cell that was both too small to fit her and too big to fill the void inside.

So. Maybe they knew what she was doing. Why she was here. At such a busy street, she didn't think it mattered much.

'Misa Amane.'

Misa breathed in sharply. She would remember that voice. She would, she did. She knew this wasn't the voice she had been waiting for. Not the voice she heard in her dreams, in her nightmares. In her head when she was awake, silently coaxing her into saying things, doing things, that people didn't want her to do.

The people in her prison kept trying to feed her medicine. And the voice kept telling her to spit them out. And when she was friendly, it would tell her they didn't deserve it. She didn't deserve it. Because she failed. She failed her mission, she failed her love. She failed him.

So when this voice, not his voice, started to pull her away, she pulled herself free. For there was only one person that she would bend to. Only one person she would want to follow, only one voice she would want to listen to. Forever. 'Light is gone,' she whispered, the realisation hitting her harder than she thought it would. She felt it, her heart, dying a little more. She always thought her family had already destroyed her heart. She thought the love of adoring fans filled it again. She was wrong. She was wrong because her heart was still there. Because she could feel it breaking every second she became more certain that Light was never coming back for her. 'Light no longer exists.' The tears stayed away. She was staring at stones in the street now, unaware of the man looking at her with a frown. Her skin felt like ice, that melted into her skin and turned her blood stiff and cold.

The man just looked at her as she stood frozen. He didn't look angry. Nor did he stop her as she ran away. She did not want to fulfil her destiny, even after everything he had done. But now, it was fine. Because he believed her when she told him Light was gone. And he had already grabbed the notebook in her bag. So he did not feel the need to stop her, or convince her. Nor did he stay to watch how she collapsed in front of the building, holding her arms to her chest in the hope to see her angel again.

She herself looked like the angel, dressed in white, with the morning sun shining down on her lifeless body. She looked like the angel who would come to take you away when you died. But she was not. She was lying on the ground, waiting for her own angel to come, to take her into his arms and finally carry her away to a place she wouldn't feel the empty pain she felt every single day. But her angel never came. And her angel would never come.

The man started to walk away, opened the Death Note. Was happy to find Misa had given him one final present. A small map, with a red dot, leading exactly to where L was. Misa had forgotten everything when she gave up her notebook. She had almost been sane then. But when someone gifted her a new one, one for her alone, she couldn't take it. Her love for Light was her everything and Olivia and L had convinced her that it was better to forfeit it, to put it away. To put the fire that was once again burning in her chest out.

So she wrote the location of L's headquarters. Not for him, but for her angel. A final tear escaped from the corner of her eye as she wished, in her final moments, that her angel would be proud of her.

XxX

I was sitting in an ambulance that smelled like a gym locker. Like a total idiot. I even had a shock blanket and everything. I would have been insulted if I had not felt so weak and tired and just… angry. Angry but too weak to vent.

It was the first time that I could very easily tell Ryuzaki had a hard time leaving me, I had never been good at catching the signs before. Normally, that would calm me, comfort me, but I didn't have the energy to care. And Ryuzaki had to work of course.

One of the agents trailing Misa had found her right before she met up with a hooded man. And I knew it was the same man I had seen outside her apartment, how could it be anyone else? He had been near her apartment, like he had been looking for her from the start. But the fact that they only met up then made me believe that Misa escaped the hospital herself. Like a fool. But I couldn't really blame her, could I? Did I not want to follow Ryuzaki wherever he went, too?

Maybe I just never really understood her. The thought came and went with the same weak, numb feeling that was already overpowering me.

I knew I needed to speak to Ico. She was following the hooded man. She hadn't told me he was Neo Kira, so perhaps he wasn't, but I assumed he was more important than she thought. He was more important than she had been treating him. And Shimigami could just hide, right? The fact that she hadn't seen any didn't prove anything.

'You look pale.'

I froze and then frowned.

Near climbed inside the van, everyone around us too busy to notice. He was wearing sandals, big ones, feminine ones. I assumed A was to blame for that. 'Which, coming from me, is saying a lot, I presume.'

'That's not a presumption, asshole,' I managed to get out.

He didn't seem phased by it, even though we had been friends before. Like friendship meant nothing to him. Beyond's words once again echoed through my mind. He cheats.

Near grabbed a strand of his hair between two fingers and started twisting it as he spoke. 'L is probably going to keep it from you, so I decided to try and make it up to you by telling you in his stead.'

I wasn't quite sure how I was supposed to react to that, but I assumed my face gave most of my thoughts away. Keep something from me? Again? Then again, I couldn't really trust Near now, could I? 'Telling me what?'

'Misa met up with a man before dying,' Near said, which I already knew. 'She had a Death Note, did you know? Ripped one page out. That man probably gave it to her. And came to take it back.'

I had assumed about the Death Note the moment I saw the paper in her hand, although Ryuzaki hadn't confirmed it. And even though I had already assumed something like this, I wasn't going to believe a single word Near told me as the absolute truth. 'Why would he do that?' I asked despite my doubts.

'Who knows?' Near replied, a shrug that he didn't give was hidden in his voice. He studied the hair in his hand for a while. He seemed bored by it, like he was disappointed that it hadn't surprised him. 'Maybe he got bored. Maybe he does not want to become like Kira after all. Maybe it was Misa Amane. Maybe she changed her mind.'

'I don't believe you,' I admitted.

'And you won't believe me when I say that this man has somehow acquired the location of the headquarters and is waiting outside with a gun and a couple of Death Notes?'

Anger flared. 'You—'

'I didn't. Me and L were already discussing a proper location to lure him to, and headquarters was never the option. We never discussed it. I presume because it cost him a lot of money and L didn't want to lose his come. So no, I didn't tell him. He went there all without my help. Probably to kill L. Maybe he wanted to make it a fair fight. It's not fair having to deal with two of them.' He licked his lower lip with a smile. Even though I still felt that motherly feeling while looking at him, I also felt sick and disgusted by the sight of him now. He was actually putting him and L on the same level.

'Leave,' I said, my voice cold.

'Are you sure?' he responded, his eyebrows raised.

I looked up for a second, then down. Still cold. But with mercy nonetheless. 'You're still a child, Near. Maybe I will forgive you one day. I actually think that will be rather easy. But, right now, you need to leave me alone. This isn't about you and me.'

'You're right,' Near responded. 'Seeing how Watari and a few other members of your Task Force are inside the headquarters right now, this isn't about just you and me at all.' He jumped out of the van, started to walk away.

My eyes widened, the hairs on my arms stood straight. 'You asshole!'

Before Near could walk away, someone grabbed him. 'Oh, a reunion. I didn't know this was the time to start talking about our… creative differences.'

'Ryuzaki!' I said, almost running and falling out of the van. 'Watari— the Task Force… They— Did you—'

'For the record,' he said, holding up a hand. 'I did not know. Good thing I wired you.' He nodded to my neck.

My hand drifted away. Indeed, the strawberry necklace from so long ago hung around my neck. I had not noticed at all. When had he put it… Oh. Oh. Blood rushed to my cheeks when I remembered our… conversation from before. Everything I had pushed away immediately.

We shared a look that held so many secrets that I almost felt like smiling again. 'We need to go,' I then said, determined.

Ryuzaki gave me a grave nod, but answered with a small smile: 'So let's go.'

XxX

We stole a police car. Ryuzaki didn't like to call it stealing, but it was basically stealing.

'Is it stealing if I fully plan on returning it?'

'Not the point,' had been my response.

Near was quiet. I could tell he did not like it one bit that we put him in the backseat, especially since I decided it was a good idea to handcuff him to the door so that he couldn't leave. I asked if I should call A or something, but he did not feel the need to reply.

'Do you think they are in danger?' I asked Ryuzaki silently, my eyes fixed on the road. Watari had been teaching me how to drive, yes, but I didn't feel all that confident. And my driver's license was terribly fake.

'As long as none of them step outside, they should be fine. I instructed Watari already, they are aware of the situation.' From the mirror I could see Ryuzaki wasn't looking at me either. Not a good sign, I thought. 'The female tried to escape.'

I frowned. 'Nanase? Why?'

Ryuzaki looked at his hands, folded over his pulled up knees. 'I don't know. From what I could gather from Watari, she had seemed rather determined. Angry.'

Near sighed as if he had picked up on something that annoyed him. I gave him a frowning glance. 'Do you have something to say, little man?'

He did not like that nickname one bit. 'Funny,' he said. Then he decided to add: 'I can imagine you guys being parents. I am already feeling sorry for the poor child.'

Ryuzaki snarled, almost inhumane. I frowned. That joke hit a bit too close to home, especially since we hadn't really had time to… talk about it. I hadn't even had the time to fully process it myself, what had happened between us. What I had asked. I almost felt more scared to have a conversation with Ryuzaki about that in the future than the situation I was in now.

Near seemed to take our silence as an invitation. 'What? Did you think I didn't notice? I will have you know that I happen to know Olivia rather well. How she thinks, how she acts. How she react. How she normally smells.'

Ryuzaki put his legs down. Ryuzaki. Put. His. Legs. Down.

And turned around in his chair to fully face Near: 'You will not keep talking. You will not continue this conversation. Understood?'

He almost sounded humane. It was… strange. And it made me smile without wanting to. I pushed the smile down. Neo Kira, Neo Kira, Neo Kira.

That seemed to work. As did Ryuzaki's little… suggestion. Near folded his arms together and looked out of the window as if he hadn't spoken. Ryuzaki calmed and pulled up his knees again, this time hugging hem with his arms.

'Am I interrupting something?'

'Holy mother of—JESUS!' I had to get to the side of the road and hit the brakes. Arma had appeared in the middle of the car, just hovering in its place. 'What the hell, Arma?!'

Both Ryuzaki and Near were smart enough to stay silent.

'The Death Notes,' she said, cutting straight to the chase. 'A man with all the Death notes. At Headquarters. Ico is there, too. I am sure there are others, but I think they are hiding and I think… I can't sense my Death Note…'

'Okay, okay, calm down, we already know this. We are on the way,' I tried to explain.

'But… You… You know what you need to do… right?' Arma asked, her expression pained.

I had been desperately trying to forget that, actually. 'I know. I will try. No. I will do it. I need to do it.' And Ryuzaki was going to hate me forever because of it. I am already feeling sorry for the poor child. Once all of this was over, would Ryuzaki still want to marry me? Would he even be able to stand the sight of me?

'You don't look sure,' Arma said, her voice so soft and kind.

'Well, you look awfully agitated for a Shinigami. I think you'll need a vacation. And then I'll need one, too. A long one. Far away,' I said, trying to distract myself as I pulled back and started driving again.

Her response sent shivers down my spine. 'If things go wrong, you might get that wish granted.'

XxX

The hooded man stared at the Death Note in his hand, and then at the suitcase that stood on the ground at his feet. The gigantic base he arrived at was nothing he could've imagined. It had been hidden away in the woods, so well. He had not underestimated L's intellect, but he had surely underestimated his wealth.

'Zellogi,' the man said in a monotone voice, studying the notebook as he spoke.

One of the Shinigami hidden in the darkness stepped forward, the smile on his face the only feature that did not look bored. 'What?'

'Who owns this now?' the man wondered, not sounding curious in the slightest.

'You do,' the Shinigami answered. 'Because Misa Amane died.'

The hooded man dropped the note on the ground. 'I don't want it. Take it back.'

The Shinigami couldn't quite follow. 'Why?'

'The more Death Notes I have, the easier it will be to catch me,' the hooded man explained. 'I only need one in order to kill Kira.'

'What?'

Several Shinigami started whispering in the darkness.

The hooded man turned around, spoke to them all. 'You heard me. You have been lying to me. Neo Kira isn't Light. It is all fake. He does not deserve to take Light's place. So I will kill him. And live my life as Light's true successor.' The man turned back to the intimidating building, his smile genuine. 'Give me the Shinigami's eyes. First, I'll kill L, just as Neo Kira instructed. Then, finally, I will meet him. And drive him back into the ground.'

Above the trees somewhere, an innocent looking Shinigami shook her head. 'If this kid isn't Neo Kira, then who is?'

XxX

Seriously, how close are we to the end already! I am just saying now that (obviously) it will not have the same ending as the movie, because I think that ending sucks. I actually have A LOT of problems with the movie, but when I watched it I just… wanted to tell it my way, you know? Anyway, I think I have said all of this before.

XxX

sibunasiren10: You are entirely too sweet! And I had actually written a warning for the scene, but not actually put it in the chapter like an idiot, so as soon as I read your review, I fixed that, so thanks for that! I will try not to stress myself out too much, but I think it's pretty much my identity to be stressed, so we'll see how that goes. Have a lovely weekend and thank you for reading!

lunamoon531: Naw, it's already to be late with reading the chapter, I have been late with updating them these last couple of… months. And I hope your exams went well! And Misa is so heart wrenching! I actually spend a long time on the first part of this chapter, because I wanted to give her as much dignity as I could give her, you know? And, the way I saw it, she wrote in a Death Note that he would die in Light's arms, but because he is gone, that is not physically possible, so she just died alone. And yeah… My English can be very awkward from time to time… I should really spell-check better and more often... But thank you for telling me, I will try to make less awkward English mistakes xD Have a great weekend, thank you for reading and good luck with everything you need to do!