This is truly becoming monthly story instead of a weekly one. Wow, bad English alert, anyway, I am sorry. BUT! I AM done moving AND the European Union decided to be smart for once and the law I was talking about is not happening! So woohoo!

I am actually kind of reluctant to write. Not because of vacation or because I don't like to write, but because I am always very bad with endings. They take more time, they make me emotional and I never know how to tie every single knot. Or something. My brain is a bit fried these days and I noticed my English is getting worse because of it…

I actually got very close to finish this chapter on Sunday, but then I was struggling with the ending of this chapter and I felt too tired and I couldn't sort my thoughts out, so decided to finish it Monday morning, hence the strange update… moment? Update… time? Jesus Christ, my English really is getting worse and worse…

Anyway, let's get this party started!

XxX

14. Neo

I could tell Ryuzaki was thinking about something, but he wouldn't speak. Arma had disappeared ahead of us and Near was sulking, staring out the window with his arms as crossed as he could while being cuffed to the car door.

I truly think I was slowly turning in him to my enemy.

Not that I wanted to. Not that I felt the strange urge to hug him and keep him safe. Not that I wish I could shake him until I understood what was going on in that strange brain of his. That was another difference, I had noticed. Ryuzaki, although hard to figure out, wasn't impossible. Because he always followed a certain logic and when he didn't, it was because of people he held dear. But Near… Near didn't hold anyone dear. Nor did he seem like he followed a particular logic. It seemed like he had al different ways of thinking and he switched between them whenever he wanted to, whatever he needed to win. That was a difference. Ryuzaki had a set way of thinking, a set way of principals and morals and logic. It didn't see like Near had any of that, his way of thinking was like water, streaming every which way until it got somewhere.

Maybe I had been misunderstanding Beyond Birthday all this time. Maybe that was what he'd meant when he told me Near cheated. That would make sense, but it would also mean that I had given those words to much power. Power over Near, power that it didn't deserve to have. Still, Near his behaviour now seemed more like teenage angst. So, I probably would forgive him. Will forgive him, someday. But I thought about what Ryuzaki had said before and he was right. This wasn't the time for a little family reunion.

Nor was it the time to be thinking about any of this. Right now, I had to think about how to get hold of a Death Note. I didn't think shooting Neo Kira would be something I could do, even trained officers only hit their targets at the intended spot twenty percent of the time. Also, the thought of shooting a person made me not only sick, but disgusted. The Death Notes did, too, for course, but I could understand the trap behind it. It was only writing something down. It seemed to natural, so normal. Shooting someone was something you could never shake, but writing someone's name? That was way easier to rationalize. To forget. Take a person just too curious and they would write. And then… well, who knew what happened once you started? Maybe it was addicting. Maybe it was a curse. And maybe, just maybe, it was all just a choice. But I couldn't believe that. Not after seeing Light. Like he was driven mad. And Misa never had any sort of murder or suicide tendencies before she gained – or re-gained – access to a Death Note.

'You're frowning,' Ryuzaki said, stating a fact, but also silently posing a question.

'I am concerned,' I admitted, though I would never exactly tell him why.

Ryuzaki put the nail of his thumb between his teeth. 'We are protected, you know that.'

If we weren't in a hurry, I would have pushed the brakes. 'You know that's not how it works, you know it! And even then, it's not an excuse! What if your time runs out today? We'll never know! And do you think I care about my godforsaken lifespan if you are not there? You began taking risks because I gave you a way out. I would blame myself even if you discredit everything I say right now.'

But he didn't. Instead, he looked down. 'You are planning on killing Neo Kira, aren't you?'

That leap was so big that I had no idea where we stood right now. 'What are you talking about?' I said, the question a bigger lie than anything else.

'Arma her Death Note can only be returned to her if the owner is dead. At least, that's what I predicted. She cannot kill the owner, she does not have a Death Note. Ico would never risk longing a lifespan by killing someone like him and dying herself. The only way out, is you.'

He was right, of course. Sharp as always. He probably already figured this out long ago. And I had no reply to give. No response. That seemed to unsettle him, just a bit. Near straightened himself a bit in the backseat, listening with a face full of childlike curiosity.

Ryuzaki his dark eyes were whirling like dark pools of ink. 'She has nothing, she hold nothing. She cannot do anything if you refuse. She will not do anything if your refuse.'

'She will die,' I said softly.

'That's not your fault,' both Ryuzaki and Near argued with the same indifferent tone.

How could I explain to these geniuses that the way they thought about such things wasn't universal? 'You didn't feel guilty when Lind L. Tailor died, right?' I asked L, not Ryuzaki. I asked the detective L.

'He was already going to die. He had a death sentence.'

'Yes. But you changed the conditions, the timing. You did that. So even if you are not responsible for his death, you are responsible for changing the way he died. Where he died. When. And how. There are people who will feel guilty for things like that.' I wasn't sure whether I was that person or not. But it was something to think about.

Ryuzaki did not seem to agree. 'That sort of thing does not matter. You die with what you have done in your life. My involvement had nothing to die with it. His own deeds brought him there.'

I wasn't even sure why I thought having this conversation would be helpful. 'Forget it, Ryuzaki, I already made a deal. The Shinigami King will only listen if we assist. We have to find those Death Notes and return them to the realm. Do you truly think that will work if Neo Kira lives?'

Ryuzaki looked sad, but also thoughtful. 'I actually should say I have been holding back a theory of mine,' he then said, his voice calm.

'What?'

'Well, who Kira is. Since I wasn't certain, I had decided to keep it for myself. A tendency you possess as well,' he added when he saw I was getting upset. Then he went on: 'I think your opinion might change when you hear my theory.'

XxX

He had put them in his suitcase. All the Death Notes. Except one. One was hidden under his bullet proof vest. One, he still owned.

He straightened himself and grabbed something from his pocket. A small piece of paper and a pen. He smiled. It was all about to begin. 'I can't see Neo Kira's lifespan, can I?' he asked no Shinigami in particular.

Zellogi decided to be the one to answer. 'As long as Neo Kira owns a Death Note, you will not be able to see his lifespan.'

A frown played on the young man's face. 'Are you telling me Neo Kira does not own a Death Note at this point in time?'

None of the Shinigami felt inclined to answer.

Somewhere above the trees, Ico was playing with an apple, clearly bored and annoyed. Arma slowly doomed up behind her, watching the scene below play out. They both said nothing. Both felt this strange feeling, so familiar. The feeling of wanted to run away, of not wanting to be involved with humans.

Ico sighed and took a bite of the apple. Then frowned. She started to develop a severe hatred of the fruit.

When Arma spoke, it was that strange light tone that was impossible to understand. 'I think I might die soon,' was what she said, the words seeming so normal, so easy.

Yet Ico's frown only deepened. 'What got your hopes all down and droopy?'

Arma smiled that vague smile she always seemed to be smiling. Ico had no way of understanding. 'I don't necessarily think my hopes are down nor droopy.'

Ico wanted to open her mouth to complain, but was stopped by a female voice shooting through the woods. 'Neo Kira! I know you're out there! Come out! I dare you!'

Ico and Arma exchanged a glance. 'That's one of the co-workers, isn't it?' Arma wondered out loud.

Instead of wondering or guessing, Ico looked down. Floating numbers and characters were easier to read from a distance then one would expect. Maybe that was a Shinigami's special ability? 'Ayana Shirato,' she read out loud. 'Hm, I don't know. That does not sound familiar.'

From down below, the female kept shouting: 'I know you are here! You don't need to hide! Come out and face me, you coward!'

'You are kind of stupid,' Arma mused, clearly no insult intended. That did not stop Ico from feeling insulted anyway, but Arma clearly wasn't trying to insult her fellow Shinigami, only stating the facts. 'The Task Force all use fake names. She is in the team. Sho Nanase I believe was her fake name.'

Ico looked at Arma, her eyebrows rising. 'Why do you even know that?' she asked, insult clearly intended.

Arma did not take the insult. Nor did she seem to hear it. 'She seems angry, doesn't she?'

Ico crossed her arms. 'Well, she'll die at this point, if that boy gets the chance to see her name and write it down…'

'Nanase!' a voice shouted, familiar to both the Shinigami's.

They looked at each other one more time before heading to the playing ground of the final battle. And just like the Shinigami already down there, they felt curious and fascinated. They wanted to see the end. After all, humans were quite interesting.

XxX

I parked the car in the middle of the road and got out before anyone could stop me, leaving Near handcuffed to the door.

Nanase's shouts had been so loud, she couldn't have gone far. She had just escaped when Watari had called.

'Nanase!' I screamed, my voice high and raspy because of fear and worry. I was running towards the back of the building, not even heading towards the entrance as agreed with Ryuzaki earlier in the car.

Instead of Nanase, two familiar figures greeted me. 'Hey, little girl!' Ico said, clearly happy to see me. 'Long time no see!'

'Where's Nanase?' I asked them, hoping they knew her fake name, or at least had seen a female running through the woods and put two and two together.

'Somewhere out there,' Ico responded, almost dismissively. As if it was not important. As if she couldn't care less.

She probably couldn't, anyway. And I had no reason to hold that against her.

'Is he out there? Is she in danger?' I asked, hearing footsteps behind me and guessing that was Ryuzaki.

The lack of answer from either one send chills down my spine. 'Don't tell me he—' I cut myself off. It was easy enough to guess this Kira must've the Shinigami eyes. 'NANASE!'

I was running again and no one was answering me. Ryuzaki seemed to follow, but he wasn't shouting. He wasn't saying much of anything. He was just following me around. I wondered how annoyed Near was that we'd just left him there. I wonder if Watari had some spare keys for the cuffs I'd used, or some trick to open them. The keys were still in the pocket of my jeans.

I was working up another shout when I spotted her, the words stuck in my throat. I was so relieved I almost started crying as I ran towards her, grabbing her shoulders. 'Nanase! Didn't you hear me? I was worried sick! Do you have any idea how dangero—'

'He killed my brother,' she said, her voice icily, cold. Not like Nanase at all. 'Neo Kira killed my brother three months before his planned releasement.'

I wasn't sure what to say in response to that. I wasn't sure what to think. My mind went to all kinds of harrowing thoughts and I was wondering what he had done. Even Neo Kira did not kill that much pasty criminals. They were treaters, famous thieves, kidnappers, murderers.

Murderers.

I shook the thought away. 'And you think dying here will change that?'

Nanase shook her head. 'Of course not.' She raised her gun. 'But killing Neo Kira will at least avenge him.'

She wasn't running, but walking fast enough to an unknown target that I had to run to keep up with her. As I did, while trying to keep eye contact with her, I finally saw Ryuzaki in my field of vision, his phone at his hand as he seemed busy, almost stressed.

'Listen to me, Nanase, it will change nothing, he has the eyes, Neo Kira has the Shinigami eyes! Don't you understand, Neo Kira will kill you the moment he—'

But my words had no meaning. Because my words came way too late. Nanase froze. The gun fell from her hand first. Then she started shaking, and something seemed to come out of her mouth.

NO! The word was a soundless shout that felt like it would rip me apart as I grabbed Nanase and tried to keep her there, with me. But with the way she had been talking to me… she was already gone. And I couldn't fine her. Her eyes went glassy, dead, before I could even mutter another word, before I could apologize. Before I could learn her real name. Before she could learn mine.

What was worse was that I didn't try because of the fact that she was dead. Fear and paranoia stripped me bear and the tears just came as if I left the tap open. As if it was always just streaming unless I used my flawed strength to turn the tap off.

'Nanase,' I whispered softly, the fear setting in more and more with every passing second. With every passing thought. I was holding a dead body in my arms.

And then other footsteps rang in my ears. And the man stepped out of the shadows. 'Neo Kira will kill you the moment he— What? The moment he sees you? Or perhaps, the moment he can see your name and numbers going down through the trees?'

The man smiled and flung with his Death Note as if it weighed nothing, meant nothing. The fear turned my stomach into cold stone. I heard Ryuzaki behind me holding his breathe, though I was not sure why.

'In case you were aiming for the last one, you were partly right, I suppose,' he said, stepping closer like a curious cat would step closer to a strange bowl of food. He wanted it, but he also did not want to be poisoned, or eat it if it tasted bad.

I stepped away so quickly that Nanase fell to the ground. The man, so young, I should probably call it a "boy" looked at her with fake remorse, but genuine amusement. His eyes seemed to sparkle. 'Though no matter what you say, there is one flaw in that sentence,' he went on, looking at Nanase as he spoke to me.

When he did look up, his eyes were dark pools of mystery and murder. 'I am not Neo Kira. So, Allison Severs. May I ask… are you Neo Kira?'

P-Pardon?! 'Of course I am not!' He was Neo Kira, wasn't he? He could not not be Neo Kira, right? Had we not already come to this conclusion.

Ryuzaki came closer. When he passed me, I noticed he had put his sweater up over his nose, leaving only his eyes and forehead full of hair visible. It seemed like a logical step when facing Kira, but it looked rather ridiculous. 'Are you suggesting you don't know who Neo Kira is?'

The boy did not respond.

Ryuzaki narrowed his eyes, clearly took the silence as a "yes". 'How interesting… even though you are his ally.'

'Oh, my god! Nanase!'

The Task Force came rushing in, all wearing black masks. Watari and Near were behind and – to my surprise – A as well. She cut her hair and she looked slightly disorientated, as if she had just gotten of off an airplane after a long flight.

The three men remaining in the Task Force all crowded around Nanase. Mishima went as far as to check her pulse, only to check what everyone already knew. Nanase was dead. Perhaps not because of us, but at least because we could not protect her from herself and her poisonous thoughts.

The man, not Neo Kira, despite appearances, observed us with curious eyes. I just waited for him to speak and Ryuzaki seemed to do the exact same thing.

'Interesting…' he finally said, staring at both me and Ryuzaki while completely ignoring the entire scene happening in front of him. 'You both have strange timelines… But I don't think either of you is Neo Kira…'

He looked around, looking for Shinigami. Only then did I see them, far behind him, hidden within the trees. Shinigami. All different, all strange. All scary. Ryuk and Rem had been scary, but also vaguely similar and they both got less threatening real quick. Ico looked scarier than either of them, but her personality quickly dismissed any fear. Arma was more hauntingly pretty to look at than she was scary.

Most of these Shinigami, trapped in the darkness, almost out of sight, looked like completely different things. Like a different species, like monsters. And even though they did this probably for their own entertainment, most of them did not seem to be smiling. Not the ever present smile Ryuk had, nor the vaguely upbeat smile that Ico normally wore.

'Holy mother of all things—Christ,' I said, my voice barely a whisper.

Ryuzaki walked closer, standing next to me, looking at the same spectacle I was, but with completely different eyes. 'Since you are not Neo Kira,' Ryuzaki said, his voice loud and clear.

The other members of the Task Force finally looked up from Nanase, who I couldn't stand to look at right now. Kuromoto even looked up with tears in his eyes. And Mishima looked ready to kill someone.

Ryuzaki continued. 'Since you're not Neo Kira, I think it would be best to hand those Death Note over to us.'

What a stupid thing to say, was my first thought, but Ryuzaki looked so determined, even though his face was hidden. I then realised this wasn't an actual request, he wanted to hear what this young man was after. If Ryuzaki gave away what it was he wanted, the young man could name the price.

And he did. 'Assuming by your name, I will make a guess an say you are L,' he said and then I was he held a gun behind his back and he was fidgeting with the trigger, even though it wasn't aimed. 'Which means you probably have all sorts of theories on who Neo Kira might be.'

He raised the pistol, but to the crowd, not towards anyone in particular. Because he did not know us and did not know who he had to hurt to get L to cooperate. Light had known. He had known full well what he'd have to do.

'You want me to point a finger?' Ryuzaki asked, his eyes dangerous.

'I want you to tell me who Neo Kira is,' was the response.

I was reminded of myself, how I used to keep theories hidden and stocked away in the hope that I would never make a mistake. But theories exists to be proven or disproven. But not like this. Never like this.

But I knew the theory now. I knew who the finger was pointed to. And maybe, maybe, now had to be the time. Maybe we were in the end game and there was nothing we would do. 'Do it,' I said softly, only to Ryuzaki. 'Just… just tell him.' And the others.

Ryuzaki looked at me as if he thought I was mad. But as he looked, something softened and changed and I realised that he wanted to trust me. He wanted to do what I asked, regardless of his morals or logic. Regardless of the outcome.

The weight sunk my whole body down, but it also seemed to lift me up. This was what I had wanted for a while now, but— Now, if this was a mistake, it would change everything we had. Or maybe… He trusted me, I trusted him. I grabbed his hand and I saw the boy's eyes getting big when he realised who he had to shoot to hurt L.

'He will tell you the theory if you drop your weapon,' I said as the boy pointed his gun at me, which resulted in everyone pointed their weapons at him. 'Drop your weapon and L will tell you what he thinks.'

Almost as if a machine given an order, the gun fell. No one felt particularly inclined to move their weapons, though, all still pointed at the accomplice who came here to kill L. 'Also,' I added. 'You will tell us exactly what your connection with Neo Kira is.'

The boy frowned. 'You are trapping me.'

'Perhaps we are,' I responded. 'But if you want to know, you will have to tell us anyway. Did Neo Kira command you to kill L? Was that your final task?'

'Take all the Death Notes, kill L. Then Zellogi would reveal his name and location.'

That was all he said. And it was clear he knew how to keep himself, his name, or any reverence to "me" or "I" out of it. Like he was not to blame. Like he wasn't involved.

'I take it Zellogi is a Shinigami,' Ryuzaki said, almost sounding bored. 'Well, I suppose that will do. You want me to pose a theory? It is quite simple really. There is only one person who could mimic Kira the way Neo Kira did. Only one person who could become like him, like an almost exact copy, and still think he can outsmart us, even when Light failed.'

Ryuzaki let go of my hand, stepped forward. And then he turned himself to the Task Force. 'Don't you agree, Mishima?'

XxX

Is anyone surprised? I kind of feel like I made it too obvious Ryuzaki was suspecting him. Also, I really wanted to split it here, because Ryuzaki could still be completely wrong, of course and I like that sort of tension. Also, I think the past part of the movie is Arma, especially her design, but I kind of feel like my portrayal of her is lacking somewhat. Oh well, nothing to be done about it now…

I don't know when I will be able to update, though I am done with moving, I am also on holiday right now, so we'll just have to see. Thank you for reading and until next time!

XxX

lunamoon531: oohhh, history and sociology! That's super fascinating! Even though I hated history in high school, I actually really like it now, so it was probably just my teacher who sucked. And thank you for liking the scene with Misa, I spend a lot of time on it! Also, the car scene went way further than I originally intended and ended up becoming way longer than it was supposed to be, but I must admit I quite like it, too ;D! Anyway, thank you for reading and have a lovely week/month (depending on when I update next… oops).

sibunasiren10: Haha, I think stressing oneself out is a common thing these days. And as I said, thank god the European Union decided against it, it's such a stupid law! I think it is because law enforcement is always years behind, like when they were trying to take away phones from teenagers. You can't reverse a massive cultural shift, you idiots. That's what I think, anyway. Thank you so much for liking the Misa-part, it was quite hard and took some time before I felt happy enough with it. And I think Near secretly feels kind of lonely. I mean Ryuzaki did basically kick him out. Well deserved, but still. Thank you for reading and until next time!

Fromashtree: yeah, I have a friend in Shanghai who suggested the same thing, thank you! Anyway, since Europe has decided against it, I won't have to worry about it (thank god). And I also think it's weird when people "do not allow" something to be written. It's really only a compliment and nothing else, right? It's not like someone pays us or something, we don't take money away from the original creators. Anyway, mini-rant over and thank you for your help and support!

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