Hi guys! How are you doing today? Yeah, I'm still alive, believe me!

I hope you guys had a great week.

So, there's only one more chapter left for this story to end, I hope you're enjoying it.

Read it to the end and hate me.

Suchahuckleberry, Mysteriousestie Thank you guys for stopping by! I really appreciate it.

After that night, Maya knew she didn't need anyone else besides Lucas, so she began to ignore Josh's texts and calls and avoid being in the studio at times when he could show up there. After a week of that treatment Josh got tired and sick of that, then he tried to talk to her, but Maya always managed to get away from him until he pushed her on to talk to him at Topanga's bakery. Riley and Maya were having a great time together until Josh shows up with all his double entendre sentence, that made Maya say goodbye to her best friend in a couple minutes after he came in. Maya heard her name as she climbed the stairs, but she chose to ignore Josh and keep on her way to go home, but Josh stopped her by holding her arm. He needed to know what he had done so wrong to get that cold shoulder. "Nothing. You didn't do anything wrong." It was the words that left her lips, even if that isn't totally true because he had tried to win her over and she had allowed it, Josh didn't even care about the fact that she was with someone else all this time.

They were silent, looking at each other for a couple seconds and then Josh asked her to go to his house so they could talk about it without being interrupted, but she refused it saying that she had to go home. So, Lucas's name came out of Josh's lips when he said that her behavior was because of him as Lucas didn't want her near him. She quickly denied it, Lucas had never told her that. "You don't like me anymore?" These words left his lips and Maya was silent, staring at him and she saw the pain on his face. She could say no and quit it, but if she said it she would be lying because if she didn't like him they would never be there getting that conversation. "I do like you, Josh!" She heard those words leave her mouth and a smile grows on his lips. Josh put her closer and she felt his lips gently against her lips. Their kiss was different, she still felt the comfortable warmth, but unlike the other times, she didn't feel the need for them as a few days ago she did.

Those four words left Josh's lips as soon as he pulls away from her lips. "I love you, Maya!" She felt herself freezing in place as her brain takes in that new information. Maya felt her twelve-years-old version inside of her, doing a happy dancing to hear those four words that she had always wanted to hear finally leave Josh's mouth. He repeated these words before kissing her again in a more urgent kiss, he didn't care that they were right in front of the establishment of the mom of Maya's best friend and his sister-in-law. "Please come home with me!" He said breathlessly as soon as the kiss was ended, Maya couldn't deny that that little girl inside of her wanted to go to his home, but she couldn't do it.

That four words were spinning in her head for days, and Maya didn't know how she felt about it. Did she love Josh? No, she didn't love him. Did she like him? Yeah, she does like him. How much did she like him? She didn't know it. Maya found herself questioning it too many times, and once Lucas even had to repeat what he was saying a couple of times because she couldn't pay attention to him and it worried her. Josh always tried to show up and remember her of his love for her, his invitations to be alone with her becoming more frequent and Maya knew that at any minute she would give in to him.

Josh had a date, and Maya only knew that because she had shown up unannounced at Topanga's and saw him with an attractive woman at his side while Riley watched them from the balcony. Josh was awkward to notice her presence there, and Maya's eyes couldn't leave the couple table. Jealous? She wondered while she felt the discomfort at seeing them together, then her phone rang and Maya saw the message sent by him 'Please, go outside in two minutes'. She made an unnecessary excuse for wanting to stay outside for a minute to Riley who had to help out there in the kitchen for a few minutes. Josh walked out a minute later saying "I'm sorry, I told Riley to stay out of it, but you know her! She can't keep her nose out of someone's business. This date is her thing, I don't even like that woman. Please do not be mad at me, Maya!" Mad? She wasn't mad and she must have paid attention to it, Maya heard herself saying that everything was fine. "I'm just going to take her to dinner and that's it, I'll take her home and nothing else. I won't touch her, I promise you!" A voice inside her head laughed as he said it and told her he was sure lying.

Josh disappeared for a few more days and Maya missed that urge she had a few days ago when she just wanted to have him by her side. When she was at home Josh barely even crossed her mind, the only thing that mattered to her was the warmth of Lucas wrapped around her, his caresses, his kiss, his attention. She didn't even remember the last time they were cuddly watching a movie like they were doing at that moment, Maya watched the way his chest moved as he breathed deeply and she knew he couldn't keep on watching the movie because he had fallen asleep, but what did matter was that he had tried to be with her even when he was too tired.

She found herself in front of his apartment door on a Friday night. If Maya was honest with herself, she would know she didn't want to be there from the moment she accepted his invitation. The reason she was there was due to the fact that he insisted a lot because he claimed that work was taking too much of his time, and he missed spending time alone with her. Since Lucas would come home later that day, she told him she would meet Riley after she let the Studio so he didn't have to wait awake for her. Josh greeted her with a huge smile, saying that he had decided to venture into the cooking world then she would be allowed to lie a lot that night so she couldn't hurt his feelings. They were having a nice evening, Josh made her laugh with all his jokes as he cooked the food for them, but he accidentally got a small cut on his thumb and Maya offered to get him a band-aid in the bathroom.

It was a simple bathroom next to his bedroom, everything was neatly tidy and cleaned something she would never expect from him because that twelve-year-old girl had pictured Josh in a completely messy room with clothes scattered all around the room and motorcycle posters on the walls. Quickly, Maya found the band-aid on one of the shelves of the almost empty cabinet, but awkwardly she dropped them with a packaging of something that had rolled to the bathroom's floor and it stopping under the cabinet. Maya knelt down to pick up the packaging and the band-aid, but her eyes stopped at the discarded condom packaging next to the packaging that she had dropped. She'd been quiet all through the dinner and Josh hadn't even noticed it as he excitedly talks about something that Maya wasn't even paying attention to. He had lied to her, that was the only and correct alternative. Maya would like to say to herself that the condom packaging had been there for a long time, but how long it was there? Josh had arrived in New York and after a couple days they already were something. That condom packaging meant he has been dating other people all this time. "I love you, Maya!" Liar!

Josh put the dishes in the dishwashing while he finally noticed that she was too quiet. Maya said it was nothing, but he touched the subject of his dating again to make her sure that nothing had happened between him and that woman, then there was no reason for her to be jealous. Jealous? She wasn't jealous, maybe that time when she met up with him on the subway while she and Riley were on their first date might be something closer to be called jealous, but at that moment she didn't know what she was feeling. Josh approached her with a smile on his face that practically showed her that he was thinking she was a fool if she thought he was seeing someone else; he pinned her against the counter and laid two light kisses on her lips before taking her mouth in a more intense kiss. Maya felt herself being lifted by Josh, he placed her sitting on the counter positioning himself between her legs as his mouth explored hungrily hers. Yes, that kiss was arousing, but it wasn't like before, Maya felt that something was missing even if she didn't know what it was.

"I've been thinking about having you at this counter since that day in your Studio." These words came out husky from his mouth as Josh bit her earlobe. Maya felt his hands slide down her thighs, taking the fabric of her dress with his hands, Josh began to kiss her neck aggressively, leaving her breathless as he pressed her hips to hers showing how much he wanted her right there. As Josh's hands explored her body, Maya's hands didn't leave his nape, her fingers between his dark hair as she tried to concentrate on that moment, but she couldn't do it. That Maya who a few weeks ago didn't care about being caught with Josh in her studio because she was so into him, that Maya had disappeared and only now she has realized it.

"Shit, Maya!" She heard him say as Josh unbuckled his belt quickly unbuttoning his pants then. His touches didn't have the same effect on her body as the ones she'd felt a few nights ago in the bedroom with Lucas. Maya closed her eyes and she could picture that night clearly in her head, the way Lucas knew how to touch her, how he had no work to get her where he wanted her to. Maya found herself wishing that those lips around her bra and those firm hands around her waist bringing her to him while he pressed their bodies didn't belong to that dark-haired man, she wished the owner of these hands were the Texan guy who always drives her crazy. She doesn't need Josh, Maya needs Lucas. Maya pushed him away from her and Josh was confused for a few seconds as Maya came down from the counter; a smirk appeared on his face as Maya bent to pick up her dress from the floor, Maya felt his hand in her hair, she turned to Josh and saw his smirk fading away when he understood what she was actually doing.

He was upset with her and Maya understood because she was angry with herself. Maya cried throughout her walk home, she was feeling so dirty after what happened. How could she do that to Lucas and herself? How could she show up at Josh's place after everything that happened that night? How could she let Josh touch her? Maya had lost the track of time sitting in front of the door of the apartment she shared with Lucas, her tears had already dried, and she was grateful she hadn't been bump into anyone in that hallway. Maya walked into the apartment avoiding any noise that might wake up Lucas. After taking a long bath, she joined him on the bed, her arms wrapped around Lucas's warm body while he slept peacefully by her side. She missed his comfortable warmth, no one else can make her feel that good and comfortable as he did, how could she be so stupid to not realize that?

She likes to watch him sleeping, her body seemingly has set to wake up a few minutes before he does, so she could admire the way his face gets a peaceful countenance as he dreamed about something she would like to know. Unfortunately, she couldn't see his clouded green eyes by sleep something she secretly loved. Maya slid her fingers over his cheek, stopping at his chin feeling the friction of her fingertips skin with his newly grown beard. Her fingers skimmed his soft, tender lips and she found herself leaning over Lucas wanting to taste his lips one more time, it had been hours since the last time she had tasted his lips. Maya's lips brushed briefly against his and that simple touch made her body shiver, Maya laid two more light kiss on his lips and beginning to pull away, but before she moved she felt Lucas' hand in her hair pulling her closer again, their lips collide as he pulled her into an urgent kiss, leaving her breathless and dizzy. She felt her back against the mattress and the weight of Lucas' body against hers, moving against her and she didn't need anything else. The only thing Maya Hart Hunter wanted was to be able to wake up every day with Lucas Friar by her side.

She has to quit it, that was the first thing went through her head when she woke up that morning. Things with Josh weren't good after that day, no calls, messages, or tentative to make up to her and Maya was surprisingly happy about it. She sent him a text asking if she could meet up with him after work, and Josh had hit her back saying he was available after nine-thirty and he would be waiting for her. After that Maya couldn't calm down, she was restless, nervous. The clock didn't seem to move at all and Maya had never noticed how long it was the mornings and afternoons before that day. She needed to see Josh as quickly as possible.

Her feet guided her quickly to his door, Maya felt her hands sweating and a slight tremor in her body. She could hear the beating of her heart speeds up as her hand knocked on the door letting him know she had arrived. Then at any moment he would appear, open the door, and then it would be over, whatever was it that they had. Maya felt an ache in her chest, broke up with Josh meant that Josh wouldn't be part of her life after that, Maya could feel that little girl inside her piss off by her attitude and hating her to break her dream of being a Matthews and own a perfect family like the Matthews because they are perfect and she would never know a better happiness than the one she was ruining for herself. Josh came out with her best smile inviting her into his apartment and as they headed for the sofa Maya remembered herself what she should be doing, ignoring that little girl.

Maya had planned a quick conversation, but that wasn't what happened, Josh made her eat with him as he talked about how he would definitely move to New York in a few days, including her in all his plans practically forgetting how he had been cold with her in the last days. Then after that interminable one-hour dinner Maya was about to tell him to shut up then she could finally do what she wanted from the moment she had woken up that morning, but unfortunately, she didn't get a chance to because he asked her to help him choose an outfit for an interview he would have the next day. Josh knew she didn't care about all that bullshit then he shoved her into his bedroom saying he'll be there in a minute while she rolled her eyes. Maya looked at her watch, Lucas was home for at least an hour and he would probably be worried about her and wondering where she was; damn time for her phone to die. Maya was so lost in her thoughts that she hadn't even noticed that she was already in Josh's bedroom, she had only realized that something had happened when Josh had said: "Did you like it?" So, she finally plaid attention at the room, the bed was filled with petals of red roses, there were some hearts made of petals on the floor and candles around the room. Maya froze in place not knowing what to say.

"I know, I've been a jerk to you in the last few days." He got close with two glasses of champagne offering one of them to her "I'm sorry, Maya! I shouldn't try to push you into something you aren't ready. You want it to be special and I'm willing to make it. Maya, I want to make you happy, make you feel good because I love you. I've never had as much fun on a date as I do when I'm with you. You're so special to me, Maya. Do you remember our first date? I thought that I was going to waste three hours of my life watching a stupid teenage movie about some annoying couple trying to get together while you would cry for them, but no, you've surprised me when you just chose one of that banned movies for under eighteen because contain violence scenes, coarse language, and sexual physical interaction. And you were always whispering during the movie about how stupid the fake blood was, or about the look of those fake organs, or how the guys and the girls were all stupid and annoying."

"I realized at that moment that I was wrong about waited so long to be with you, Maya. I had wasted every opportunity to be by your side and unfortunately, at that moment it was too late, I was a stupid for did it. Then we went to take some smoothies at our traditional place and the only thing I could think of was how beautiful your eyes were, how bright they are. Can I tell that I've never seen blue eyes as beautiful as yours? Because I never did. And then your lips. Did you know what was going on in my head, Maya?"

Maya was silent watching him as he drew closer to her, she felt that little girl inside herself jumping for joy and smiling from ear to ear and that made her cheeks hurt. As he had no response from her, Josh kept his speech:

"She's got perfect lips; how should it be to taste them? This question haunted me for almost all evening. You have no idea how difficult it was for me to control myself and not lean toward you and kiss you." Josh rested his forehead against hers, his free hands cupped Maya's face as his thumb sliding over Maya's lips slowly "And they still get the same effect on me. There isn't kiss in the world that I could ever compare to ours, Maya. If I close my eyes I can feel that cold wind touching my skin when I walked you home; I still can see your cheeks getting red as you tried to warm up better in your coat. So, you were saying something about ... about how far New York is from Los Angeles and that was it, I just couldn't take it anymore, I had to kiss you, Maya. And that was so good, serious! That was so good that it never left my head. You told me it was your first kiss, but I have to confess that I doubted it because it was so amazing, and I just thought I needed to one more, then another, then another... Then when your lips touched mine that Friday, Maya; all those feelings and memories came back and I just wanted to kiss you again. I couldn't concentrate on anything that weekend, I just wanted to see you again and kiss you until our lips ached so when Monday came I was so fucking nervous that I couldn't even open my mouth. After leaving you there alone I was so frustrated with myself so I go to Topanga's and bumped into Riley there. She noticed that I wasn't being my usually myself in those last two days and we had a good talk about how I was feeling and her words made me have the courage to go back to your studio that afternoon and kiss you. That was the best thing I've done since I came back to New York, did you know it?"

His lips touched hers in a soft kiss, Maya felt one of Josh's hands on her hand taking her drink from her hand. Josh deepened the kiss and Maya found herself being carried to his bed. She felt the delicacy of the rose petals against her exposed skin, its perfume fighting with Josh's scent in his bed. Maya felt his lips on her neck exploring every inch of it, his hand sliding on her inner thigh taking her dress with it. She should like that, she should feel those sensations she'd felt a few days ago, but she didn't it. Something was missing and she knew what it was exactly. Her hands touched his to keep him from undressing her, Josh pulled away questioning her.

"We need to talk!" The way he smiled Maya knew that Josh was frustrated with her again. "Josh, I'm so sorry, but I can't do it anymore. I'm with Lucas and you know it."

"I got it!"

"This isn't right! I never thought I..."

"I got you, Maya. Did you talk to him?"

"No! We didn't have a talk about it."

"Well, we can find a way. I think there is enough space here for two."

"It's not necessary, Josh."

"Don't worry, Maya! I really appreciate your company. I hope Lucas can understand it!

"Josh... I'm not going to leave Lucas."

Those words came out from her mouth and Maya saw Josh's grin dying and turns into a grimace.

"What do you mean, Maya?"

"Josh, we had a chance and unfortunately, we waste it. I never thought that one day I would be in a relationship with Lucas Huckleberry Friar. I always thought it would be you, Josh. I was like: If someday I'm going to marry someone that someone would be Joshua Matthews. But no, we lost it, Josh. You never bothered to call me after our date and I was so down about it. Riley, Farkle, and Lucas had tried to cheer me up when I suddenly felt so lost because everything I thought would happen would never happen. You weren't there, Josh. You know, my first date, after that night, was in my freshman year in college and it sucked! That guy was a jerk! And I don't even know why the hell I decided to go out with him. Lucas rescued me from that nightmare; he just walked into the pizzeria saying that he had just received a text about a fire alarm in my dormitory floor and he was worried about me after that, and when he saw me sitting there, he was relieved that I was fine then offered me a ride so I could check up on my stuff and the guy..."

"You like him, don't you?"

He cut her off.

"No, I don't like him, Josh! And I know this for a while. I like you, Josh. I'm not going to lie."

She held his hand and Josh smiled hopefully.

"I love you, Maya!"

"I don't want to lose you, Josh!"

"Neither do I, Maya!"

"But I have to be honest. I don't love you."

"I can make you love me!"

He said approaching her.

"Unfortunately, you can't! I'm sorry, Josh, but I can't keep this up, whatever we are."

"But I love you! He's forcing you to break up with me, isn't he?"

"No, Josh! Lucas doesn't even know I'm here right now."

"Do you love him?"

"I'm sorry, Josh! I hope someday you can forgive me. I hope we can just be friends from now on." they looked at each other for a few minutes in silence "I have to go, Lucas must be waiting for me."

Maya got up from the bed leaving a light kiss on Josh's cheek and moving away toward the door.

"I'm sorry, but I can't be just your friend, Maya!" Maya turned to him, her hand gripping the doorframe. "I can't see you as just another friend!"

"I'm sorry!"

Maya turned to the door and left his bedroom. The sound of something breaking echoed in her head as she closed the door of his apartment, there was a part of her that wanted to come back and see what had happened, but she didn't hear that part and went straight to her home. She felt light, free because she did not have to carry all that pressure, concern and guilt on her shoulders anymore; there is no reason for more lies and she knew that it was the right decision.

It was late, Lucas probably was asleep then she tried to be as quieter as possible to not wake him up. The only thing she wanted to do was feel the warmth of his body around her and the comfort he brought her, and in thinking about it she found herself with a huge stupid smile on her face. As soon as she closed the door Maya put the keys on the table next to the door; her eyes roamed the dark of the room until they stopped at those green eyes in the kitchen. The first thing that went through her head was why Lucas was alone in the dark and when she was about to ask him that Maya looked at the table decoration as she came near him. She was confused, what that meant those candles and flowers, then her eyes went to the calendar at her side.

She felt a chill as she realized what she had forgotten. Maya was so involved in solving everything with Josh that she had forgotten what day it was, she just had completely forgotten about their five-year anniversary. Lucas shook his head negatively before getting up and leaving the kitchen, Maya said his name, but he didn't want to hear her. She watched him go toward her original bedroom and she felt herself shaking and a huge pain grows in her chest. Lucas held the doorknob and stopped for a couple seconds, staring at the door.

"I hope you two had fun!" The hurt in his voice torn apart her heart, she had hurt him so badly. Maya was losing him and it scared her because she really deserved it, she doesn't deserve his love. Maya felt her first tears rolling down her face in a silent cry, Lucas turned to look at her for one more time as he opened the door of the bedroom, his green eyes glowed with all those tears that formed in his eyes "Have a good night, Maya!"

Maya opened her mouth, but she couldn't say anything. As she saw the door closing, her legs gave way and she found herself sitting on that ground in tears. They were over, no words were needed she knows Lucas well enough to know that. Maya crawled to the door and tried to open it, but Lucas had locked it which made it clear that he didn't want to see her anymore.

Now she was there, alone, in no mood to do anything and the only thing she wanted was to stay in that bed forever, but she couldn't do it, she needs to find something to cheer herself up so this huge sadness wouldn't do her any harm.

Maya looked at her belly and sighed stroking it. The first symptoms appeared two weeks after Lucas leave and she had ignored them, Riley had freaked out when she found out that her best friend was being careless with her health and didn't bother herself to tell her that she wasn't feeling well, then Riley had made an appointment with a doctor for her in a few days. The fact that she and Lucas were practically living separate lives had caused Maya to become a bit careless with her pills, something she wasn't proud of. A couple hours ago Maya while randomly checking one of her phone apps noticed that her period was late and it had scared her. Nausea and a missed period indicated something and Maya had panicked not knowing what to do.

She could call Riley and ask her to buy a pregnancy test for her, but no, she wouldn't let her best friend that anxious since they couldn't meet for the next six hours and Maya knows how badly Riley would be in the end. At middle day Maya took courage to went to the nearest pharmacy so she could buy one of those pregnancy tests, the woman who was attending to her asked if she was okay because she was so pale at the moment that worries her, and then asked Maya if she wanted to go to their restroom to take the test, Maya promptly refused and went back home, putting the test on that bed for about two hours without the courage to take it.

Now it was just her and the baby in her womb; her mom had done her best and raised Maya by herself then Maya has a great role model for the next couple years. Maybe she shouldn't think that way because she knows him so well, he wasn't like her father, he would never leave them, his parents raised their kids so well, she has always heard that.

The door opened and Maya was startled to see Lucas walk in the room after all those days without seeing him. His eyes met hers, and he hesitated, stopping at the door of the bedroom that had once belonged to them. Lucas looks about five years older, it was apparent that the pain of her betrayal and their break up was still too strong, his green eyes shifted from hers to the bathroom.

"I'm sorry! I ... I thought you wouldn't be home... I just need some things... But I can come back another time..."

He said turning to the door, but Maya prevented him from leaving when she said his name, Lucas turned to her looking at Maya for a few seconds before shifted his eyes from her to the bathroom door.

"Lucas, you don't have to leave." she said as she sat on the bed "Do whatever you need, I'll leave you alone. Don't worry!"

She said as she stood up, Lucas looked at the wall trying hard to avoid looking at her, almost squeezing into the wall as she came closer to him in the door.

"I'll be in the living room if you need anything."

"Right!"

He said almost like a whisper still avoiding looking at her. Maya sat on the couch watching the coming and go of the vehicles on the street. She felt the new tears rolling down her face and her hands promptly tried to dry them, Lucas didn't even look into her eyes, he must think she doesn't deserve it and it hurts her so much. How could she be so stupid? How could she lose him like that? Riley had said that Lucas needed some time for himself just until things settled down and that both knew he would end up coming back to her after that break because he loves her so much, but Maya knew so well that he would never go back to her, no after everything that happened since he could never trust her again, and trust is one of the pillars of a relationship but she had destroyed it and now that would be very difficult to get it back together again. Then Maya remembered what she'd left carelessly a few minutes ago on the sink in the bathroom.

"Damn it!"

Maya said getting up quickly, her body shaking with nervousness as she made a prayer asking for Lucas hadn't got in the bathroom yet. Her hands were sweating as she walked in the room, but her footsteps were interrupted when she saw Lucas standing at the bathroom door with his eyes fixed on the pregnancy test in his hands. She could hear her heart quickest beats, her stomach turned three hundred and sixty degrees, and Maya felt nauseous from the nervousness of what would happen next. Lucas noticed her presence in the room, his eyes fell on her for a few seconds before looking at the pregnancy test on his hands again. She could see the conflict of feelings on his face, but the sadness overcame him and he turned to her. His eyes went to her belly for a moment and then meets her eyes, Maya felt like she would be throwing up at any moment from now.

"Maya?"

To Be Continued...

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Sorry for some misspellings or nonsense stuff here!

Do you believe there are only a few days left until Christmas?

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Ah!

Bachelorette party night.

I'm just leaving it here and in a few days you'll know what it means.

XOXO

bye!

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