Hi, guys! How are you doing today?

Unfortunately, I did not die, so you got this crappier chapter below, I'm sorry!

Thank you for your reviews! I'm so happy to make you feel something when you read this story.

Yes, I have my own opinions on the subject, but I do not rely on them when I write this story.

Do you remember that story that would only have two or four more chapters here? Forget it, it's not going to happen.

Do Josh and Maya love each other? Hmmm... Let's see next...

Lucas looked at his grandfather without understanding what he was saying. Lucas' father had always said that his parents were the best couple he had met and that they were a model for him look up, they were his inspiration for the most difficult days. His granddad looked at him and saw the confusion on his face.

"You know, about two years after I married your grandmama, a friend of mine asked me to help him on a property he had bought in the northeast of the state. It would only take six months there, so I asked your grandma's brother to help her on the farm while I was gone. When we got there at the farm I met a pretty girl, she would also be helping us with the farm for a few months. She was so passionate, cheerful, loving, funny, independent; that girl was such a true free spirit. One day we were drinking and chatting till late, as we had gotten that habit in those days, but unlike the other days that night I kissed her and we ended up sleeping together. That was wrong, your grandma was the best person in the world and that's why I married her. I know what made me betray your grandma with that girl wasn't love, it was just the fact that I was alone and she was a kind and caring person."

"We kept this relationship for a while until we left the farm. I'm not going to lie to you, son, what we had was good, but I felt very bad for liking it, because what your grandma and I had was much better than those few hours. Your grandma found out what happened in there by a letter and that was the worst day of my life, I didn't want to lose her because I loved her so much. She went to her parents' house and stayed there for a long time telling me not to look for her, because she needed some time, until she came to me and told me that she has thought about everything that had happened, about everything that we had passed through and had realized we should give us another chance. Yes, it wasn't easy to get to that conclusion and I could see that she was still deeply hurt by all this, but she was willing to try, to leave it behind us and she wanted me to be willing it too, that I would be willing to start over. And as you already know it worked, I think her noble deed made me love her even more if that was possible. The first few months were complicated, I'm not going lie because the hurt still there every day reminding us of what had happened, but with time, patience and dedication we ended up building a stronger union, rebuilding our pillar of trust stronger than the one that was before. You know, I'm very grateful for her gesture because was through that we had the happiest marriage we could ever wonder."

"Why did you cheat on her, sir?"

Said Lucas looking into his own hands trying to take in that story never told by his parents.

"Because I was weak, a fool, I wasn't prepared to live with that distance at that moment. Unfortunately, I let my desires be stronger than my loyalty and love for your grandma."

"Did you love her?"

Lucas looked at his granddad.

"Your grandma?"

"No, the other one."

"No. She was a good creature, but no, the only person I truly loved was your grandma."

His eyes lingered on the river a few feet from them already dark.

"Maya loves him."

Pappy Joe sighed.

"Did she tell you?"

Lucas shook his head negatively.

"And how do you know that?"

"By the way she acts."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. And even if she tells me that she loves me too, I know she doesn't, like they say when a person loves two people she should choose the second one because if she really loves the first one she would never fall for the second one."

"It's interesting, isn't it?! Do you know what is wrong with this thought? Is when the second is just an illusion, you think you really love that person, but in the end, you find out that you just don't; you never really loved that person. A lot of people who believes in this pretty quote ends up turning them backs at that first one person, who actually was that person who they really have a stronger connection, for an illusion who fades away as fast as when it began, and they only find out they did wrong when it's too late and there is no way back. From what you said it seems to me that you two have not had a conversation yet?"

"No, I don't think I could do it, sir."

"Of course, you have to chat, son. You two have to talk about it. You have to tell her how much she hurt you and Maya has to say what she wants to say to you and then Y'all can get a closure and after that, you and she can put an end on your story or start a new chapter together."

They grow silent.

"I'm not ready to face her, no yet."

Lucas finally said.

"Are not you ready or are you afraid of what will happen after that?"

Lucas sighed. Yes, he wasn't ready to face her for a lot of reasons and one of them is that after this meeting everything between them would be over, forever.

"Both, I don't know what I really want to happen in the end. I'm afraid to face her, I don't know what I will do or if I can forgive..."

Lucas was silent.

"You could start with a list of reasons why you don't think it's worth keeping on this relationship and reasons why you think it's worth a try to save it. Maybe what you'll find there will be the reasons to give you two another chance or reasons why will make you leave this relationship for good."

They were silent watching the still lazy night in the sky.

"Well, I believe it's time to go, otherwise we'll miss the dinner that your mama was so focused on cooking for us. I heard your mama is making a barbecue."

Papi Joe said slowly getting up because he no longer has the same disposition as a few years ago.

"Yes, sir."

Lucas got up and they walked toward the parking lot.

"Oh, son! The only person who can tell you how Maya feels is herself. It will not be your friends, me or you who will say that because we don't have that right since we are not her, that is, we do not feel what she is really feeling."

After dinner with his family, when he found himself alone in Zay's living room, Lucas picked up a paper and wrote down what his granddad had told him earlier. As he began to write he found himself filling the page with reasons why he need call it quits and move on in a few minutes.

Reasons to move on:

She's a liar;

She doesn't respect me;

She is annoying and so stubborn;

She is a tough person to deal with;

I hate it when she leaves her painting stuff scattered around the house;

I hate when she complains about the toilet seat;

I hate it when she thinks that she's the only one right.

I hate it when she leaves her clothes scattered in the bathroom.

I hate it when she keeps things for herself.

She cheated on me.

She hurt me.

She hurt me so much;

She cheated on me with someone who doesn't even love her;

I can never trust her again;

Whenever I look at her face I'll remember how she cheated on me;

Every time I look at her I'll remember how much she preferred him to me;

Every time I look at her I'm going to remember that I'm not good enough for her;

Every time I look at her eyes I'll know she doesn't love me like I love her;

Every time I look at her I'm going to remember she let him touch her;

Every time I kiss her I will remember that he kissed her;

Every time I kiss her I'll know that she wishes that I had his lips;

Every time we have sex I will remember that he has satisfied her and at all these times I will think she secretly wishes I was him;

Every time I look in her eyes I'll know that she secretly wishes him in my place.

Lucas left the pen on the table while he wiped his tears away. Maybe that was enough for now, it was about time to start the other part of that list, so he named the new column and stared at the paper for a while as he tried to find at least one reason why it worth to give them a chance.

Reasons why it is worth giving a chance

...

No, there are no reasons. Lucas sighed and lay down on the floor staring at the ceiling, his thought went back to the first day he'd seen that blond girl on the subway; the way she'd smiled at him while a bunch of nonsense came out of her mouth had melted his heart. Then his thought goes back to the time she'd said that doesn't matter what he had done in his past, for her he was still that person she knew, and at remembering of that made him laugh, she no longer call him Huckleberry and he misses her nicknames so much.

He could see her sitting on that log trying to convince him that she didn't have feelings for him when they were in Texas, he almost kissed her and he could see fear and expectation in her eyes at the thought he would finally kiss her, but he couldn't do that and he had noticed that Maya had been somewhat disappointed with this, Lucas remembered that a few years after that he had kind of regretted not having done it.

He remembered the first kiss they shared when they were in her bedroom watching a movie together on Valentine's Day as they were the only ones who had no one to celebrate with. There was something different in the last few months and neither of them could deny it, the way his hand easily found its way to her hand or even to her waist bringing her to him; the way their bodies leaned close to each other without them realizing it; the way he caught himself looking at her and the way he caught her looking at him; the way she blushes every time when someone implied something was happening between them; the various almost kisses they had share sober or over the effect of alcohol. It was natural, they were joking about something really cheesy that one of the characters had said and then he was tickling her until their laughter died, the way her blue eyes sparkled as she looked at him was enough for him to lean down ending up the distance between them and kissing her so passionately. Those soft lips creep up on his mind for days, her kiss was like a drug and he was a fiend who desperately needed to taste it again, but he knew it wouldn't be easy since Maya would not give in to it so easily. But he'd been surprised when she'd been the one to take the initiative a month after Valentine's Day. He was taken by surprise when he felt her hand holding his hand while he was talking to a girl who was in his English class. Maya had dragged him away from everyone without saying a single word. She let him free when they got in the bleachers of the football field and when he was about to ask why they were there she just kissed him passionately, making him dizzy and needing her even more.

Lucas could not stand it any longer. He was so done with just being her friend and eventually hook up. He could take all those greedy eyes on her no more, then he asked her to be his girlfriend at a moonlight picnic when everyone decided to go back to Texas on that summer vacation. Maya had cried and told him he owed her fifty bucks because Riley and she had a bet. Riley had bet that after that trip Maya would change her status of single to dating in her social media, in another hand, Maya believed that it would take a bit longer.

Their first time was at Christmas when her mom and stepfather were stuck after a snowstorm, five hours drive from New York because they had decided to spend a romantic weekend together away from that New York craziness. Maya had been left by herself at home and Lucas only knew that when she had texted him at midnight saying that she was bored and that she would be all by herself for the next forty-two hours. He'd showed up without saying a word, even though he knew he would be in trouble with his parents when they noticed his absence. They just talked for a while and pick up a Christmas movie that soon bored them and then began all those kissing, sighing, clothes scattered on the floor, breathless, hands over both bodies, gasp, desire at such a high level that it was unbearable. They had had some experiences before and at that moment they both knew it was time to cross that line and that was amazing even with all the trouble he got into when Lucas only showed up at dinnertime with Maya at his parents' house, Lucas would do all that exactly as he did with no regret.

He remembered the day he'd chosen that apartment, in fact, Maya had chosen that apartment. Maya chose it for the large glass windows that gave a great natural lighting to the place, even if Lucas was not much of a fan of them. He'd asked her to share that apartment with him as soon as he had got the keys. Lucas had placed a copy of the key in a small box on the table while they had dinner at a bit expensive restaurant that Maya had asked him when they arrived there if he had got rich and had not bothered to tell her. She looked at him no getting what he meant by that, then Lucas asked her to open it and from there she took out the copy of his keys. After that, he had said that it was obvious that she didn't like her roommate and since he was way better than that girl, Maya should consider that maybe a move out was the best choice to make. Maya just pushed the box back to him after his speech refusing what he had said not what those keys meant. At the first day there as temporary owners of that apartment, Lucas didn't let her walk into the apartment until she accepted to be carried in like a bride for him since they were starting a new life together at that time. All these years they'd been together there crossed his mind just to remind him that those years sharing that apartment with her were the best he'd had until the last few months.

Reasons why it's worth giving a chance

I love her, even after all that has happened I still love her.

I believe that maybe there's still something between us, I could feel it that night.

He put the pen on the table and looked at those two columns uncertain of what to do next. Would that be enough?

Thank you for stopping by!

Have a great week and happy Easter!

Now I'm going back to my chocolate filled with passion fruit, I'll see you around.

"I can't kiss you like he did, bet you wish I had his lips, but I don't, no, I don't..."

See you guys next month!