Hello! Anyone here?
This is not a mirage!
I repeat
This is not a mirage! This is really a chapter in this story that was abandoned centuries ago to write other stories.
How are you doing? I miss your threats.
How was your weekend? I hope it was good.
Here is a small chapter because I have not really finished writing this. My goodness! the chapter of Josh has already celebrated a birthday of over a year, I hope not to lose it because I was sooo happy with something that happened there.
"Do you miss him?"
Does she miss Josh? Maya remembered the first time Josh had created a distance between them, how she had felt at that back time, how she had missed all those few hours with him, and then how they are now. They had not seen each other for more than a week, and they barely saw each other before she broke up with him that night. All those feelings weren't there. It was as if all those feelings had gradually faded away day by day after her night with Lucas. Then she heard that simple word come out of her mouth.
"No."
"Have you talked to Josh after all this?"
Maya wiped her tears away.
"No."
"Why not?"
"I see no reason for it."
"Why not? Maybe you two need to talk about it. Maybe there's still a feeling, but with everything that happened you're feeling that this is wrong, that you should not feel that way about him because of Lucas. Maybe all the weight of being with Lucas and Josh made you let your real feelings aside since you think that feel what you're feeling it's wrong... "
"Riley, I can't. There is nothing to be said."
Maya interrupted her best friend.
"Maya, and if somehow you are unconsciously punishing yourself, thinking that you don't deserve..."
"I don't miss him in that way. And I don't think he wants to see me anytime soon."
Riley sighed.
"I think he'd like to see you."
"Riley, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry that I hurt you. I hurt you with all these shit choices I did."
"Maya, I will always be here for you. You need to tell me everything that happens to you, and I swear, that no matter what I'll try to help you figure things out. But I can't say that all this situation didn't hurt me. Josh is my uncle, Lucas has been our friend since middle school and you are my best friend, my sister. I care and love all of you, and it breaks my heart to see us so apart and so broken.
Maya heard Riley's sobbing voice who have been trying to control herself so she would not cry in front of her. Seeing how much it was hurting one of the people she loves the most in her life caused new tears to roll down her face, and Maya found herself hugging her friend tight.
It would not be worthy of comparison, but to hear how much her mom was disappointed by her attitude was the worst thing she'd ever heard. Katy was the first person to know what had happened between Lucas and her after Maya took a day to accept that everything was over between them. She had shown up at her mom's house at night, finding Katy as always watching her favorite Bachelorette reality. No words were needed. Katy knew as soon as she saw her daughter's face that something very wrong had happened.
Maya, ashamed, told her everything and she could see the tired and then sad eyes of her mom on her. There was no need for Katy to say anything, Maya knew that her mom was upset and disappointed by her daughter's mistake, and Maya was ready for anything hard that the older blonde would say to her.
Katy had told her that she and Josh had done something really fucking wrong, she had raised her daughter better than that. She said that it also had not been a right move of him to try to seduce a person who was in a relationship as serious as she and Lucas were. Katy said that the first step Maya should take was to make an honest assessment of her actions and her emotions and then after this, she could put an end to that.
Katy had instructed Maya to see what Josh means to her, how being with him makes or had made her feel. As soon as she knew the real answer for it she should then assessment her life with Lucas. What was going wrong, how she was working on fixing it. And then Maya could see that she had not really worked hard to make them work. She had got too comfortable with the distance between them, she had taken them for granted. She knew that they would always be together, it was a fact, they'll always be Lucas and Maya, and Lucas had done the same.
Unlike him, she had been weak and had been bewitched with the first opportunity that had shown up in front of her eyes. But at no time she really thought that Lucas and she wouldn't be together anymore. At no time had she thought of them both following different paths as it was happening right now. If she really loves Josh, something that had not gone through her head, this pain of losing Lucas should not be as stronger as it is.
Maya had cried so much in her mom's arms that night when she realized that she would never have Lucas back again. She had wasted so many chances, so many moments at his side to give importance to other things, other people and today she regrets bitterly for doing it. She had hurt him so fuck deeply and herself, and now she had realized that all those feelings had always been there, inside of her.
She still loves him, and apparently, only now did she realize how much she really loves that cowboy. How could she have been a fool? All the signs were there showing that things between her and Josh meant nothing but neediness, but she couldn't see it. She had been so fucking blindly and couldn't see it before ruining everything, before destroying them.
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"What happened between Josh and me means nothing to me. You and I were apart and we were used to us together. We weren't doing our best on making us work. I did something wrong, something so fucking wrong. I cheated on you because he gave me what you were not putting a lot of effort to give me. He gave me his attention, he cared about me, he listened to me. We never really got that far, and every time we approached that line you were the only one in my head. You can say whatever you want, but that doesn't change the fact that I have feelings for you. And If I didn't feel anything for you Josh and I would have crossed that line and done it days ago. If I did not feel anything for you I would never let you touch me like that and I would never crave for it so badly like I did. If I did not feel anything for you I would not be feeling this pain I have been feeling these last days. So, don't tell me what I feel and how I feel because you do not know, you don't know it. You have no right to do that."
"Please, Maya! Love me? You do not love me. You're just realizing you screwed things up and it hurts. You know what you did wasn't right and it's hurting you..."
"Lucas, stop! Why don't you listen to me? Why don't you let me talk?"
Said she louder interrupting him. Maya got up from the bed standing still in front of him.
"I don't want to hear your lies."
"You don't want the truth. You don't want to hear me!"
"There is nothing you say that will change the fact that you cheated on me, and that you continued to go out with him, even after everything that happened between us. It just showed me that you don't give a fuck about us, about me. Yeah, we did sleep together, and that just made me see that you were just in the mood for sex, not that it meant anything but sex to you, but that meant to me... "
"That means for me!"
She said louder than he did.
"Yeah, that meant so much that you were with him in his bed while I was waiting for you here like an idiot."
Thank you for getting here and for being patient with me, you deserve gold for that.
This is the sad moment when I say that I would like to go on Singular tour, but Sabrina will never really come here because, unfortunately, she is still small in the music world. Well, in a few months Singular act II will come out and I really hope she considers us on her new tour, I'm hopeful because she said that in May she'll be out of the country.
Hey, people from Philadelphia who went to the show I AM SO JEALOUS OF YOU GUYS! Man, you saw Sabrina and Uhmeer(Amir) singing together I could not get a smile off my face.
Have a great week!
See you next century.
Leave your threats or nice comments here.
Be nice!
Bye!
You're over my head. I'm out of my mind. Thinking I was born in the wrong time. One of a kind, living in a world gone plastic. Baby you're so classic.