Hi guys! How are you guys doing today?
Long time no see, huh?
I've been wanting to update this story in a while, but life and my laptop are not helping me on it.
Josh's part is coming next...
He felt her hands on his collar pulling him down so he could look her right in her eyes.
"Josh and I did not have sex!" Maya spoke each word loudly and slowly as if that could make that information get into his brain. They were so close that he could feel her breath against him, her familiar perfume invading his lungs, and for a moment his eyes drifted to her tempting pink lips distracting him for a few seconds "I went there to break up with him because I didn't feel for him what I feel for you. I love you, Lucas. I've always loved you. You were the man who made me understand what this kind of love truly is. I've never felt for anyone the way I feel about you. I did something wrong, something so fucking wrong and I don't expect you to forgive me, even if I want you to forgive me, even if I need you to forgive me."
"You have every right to hate me, Lucas. I'm not going to take this right from you. I understand, but please! Please, you can not tell me how I feel, what I feel about you! If there was a way for me to prove it to you, a way to make you understand it I swear I would do whatever it takes."
"There's nothing you can do."
His hands went to hers, easing the tightness of her grip on his collar trying to take her hands off it.
"Maybe there is something."
"I can't believe or trust you, Maya. There is nothing that you can do that will repair the harm that your actions did!"
She bit her bottom lip while new tears were running down her face as she let him go.
"I'm so sorry!"
Her blue eyes. Her blue eyes had a sad shine intensified by her tears. He could see the truth there, even if he didn't want to admit she was telling him the truth because if she was lying it would be so much easier for him to end them there and never come back. His eyes went to her mouth again and Lucas unconsciously stepped toward her, and then he felt his lips against hers.
He was surprised with his move and he could feel she was too. Maya didn't move, she was trying to comprehend what was going on at that moment. When his hands went to her nape bringing her closer and then she kissed him back after a few seconds.
Their slow kiss intensified like fire in gasoline. He missed this feeling. He missed her soft lips against his, her perfume surrounding him, the warmth of her body. Lucas found himself pushing her back toward the bed without breaking the kiss. That was wrong and he knew it, but he couldn't control it, he couldn't help that feeling. He just needs her for at least one last time and he was an idiot for needing her.
Lucas was over her, one of his hands roaming over her body under his shirt that she was wearing, her legs were around his hips bringing him closer as he moved their bodies together both dizzy with that feeling. He felt her nails against his back under his shirt as she moaned between the kiss. Her sweet perfume all over the place made him even more dizzy and crazy for her, for having her.
He felt her breath on his neck, their hearts beating faster as they tried to breathe. Lucas kept his eyes closed because as soon as he opened them, he would have to face what they had done. He felt Maya laying a gentle kiss on his neck before lifting the up part of her body and he found himself automatically opening his eyes to meet her tired blue eyes. She looked exhausted and the lack of light in the room had let him realize that it was already night. He had taken longer than he had planned there and Zay should be worried by his absence by now, but Lucas knows Zay would never call because he knew that Lucas was there and he would not dare to interrupt whatever they were doing.
Maya sighed and he found himself doing the same when their bodies separated. She looked around the room looking for something and then got off of him. Maya took the shirt he had discarded on her floor and then sat on the edge of their bed avoiding eye contact with him. She knew it was wrong and that doesn't mean that everything was okay between them, it means quite the opposite of that and what they did just got things even worse.
Five, ten, fifteen minutes or more passed by with no word shared between them. Lucas put on his clothes and sat on the opposite side of the bed, watching the city lights through the window. He didn't know what to do or say, he just made everything worse.
She was pregnant. They will have a kid, in fact, they have a kid. Admit that after all that has happened he still loving her hurts, but he could not think about the possibility of getting back to her, though he would never leave her by herself this thought for no second has crossed his mind. He wanted to be around, he wants to be present at each stage of her pregnancy, but how he could do that at that moment? He is not ready for that.
He felt her breath on his neck, their hearts beating faster as they tried to breathe. Lucas kept his eyes closed because as soon as he opened them, he would have to face what they had done. He felt Maya laying a gentle kiss on his neck before lifting the up part of her body and he found himself automatically opening his eyes to meet her tired blue eyes. She looked exhausted and the lack of light in the room had let him realize that it was already night. He had taken longer than he had planned there and Zay should be worried by his absence by now, but Lucas knows Zay would never call because he knew that Lucas was there and he would not dare to interrupt whatever they were doing.
Maya sighed and he found himself doing the same when their bodies separated. She looked around the room looking for something and then got off of him. Maya took the shirt he had discarded on her floor and then sat on the edge of their bed avoiding eye contact with him. She knew it was wrong and that doesn't mean that everything was okay between them, it means quite the opposite of that and what they did just got things even worse.
Five, ten, fifteen minutes or more passed by with no word shared between them. Lucas put on his clothes and sat on the opposite side of the bed, watching the city lights through the window. He didn't know what to do or say, he just made everything worse.
She was pregnant. They will have a kid. They have a kid, actually. Admit that after all that has happened he still in love with her hurts, but he could not think about the possibility of getting back to her, though he would never leave her by herself this thought for no second has crossed his mind. He wanted to be around, he wants to be present at each stage of her pregnancy, but how he could do that at that moment? He is not ready for that.
"I…" he said not knowing what to say "I can stay here until he or she turns two because I want to help you in everything and I want to be there at every stage of your pregnancy, waking up at dawn, changing his or her diapers, make the baby sleep I want to do everything. But I won't lie, it's been too hard right now, Maya. You hurt me a lot. I had plans with you. I thought of a life with you and now I don't know. I can't see a future with you at the moment. We'll have a baby and I want to live each phase of this pregnancy at your side and I do not know what to feel...I...I... I do not know!"
"Lucas, you don't have to. I can look for a place for myself. You got this apartment, it's your right to stay with it."
"No, I want you to stay with this apartment. So, when he or she turns two I will look for a place for myself."
"Do you really think you can stay here with me after all?"
"No. Not right now, but I don't want to think about that part right now. I just want to make sure the baby is okay and growing healthy, and if anything happens, I can be by your side to help you anytime."
"If you want me here, how do you think we should proceed?"
"I think I'll move to the other bedroom because I think it would be the best choice. We will split the bills as we always did. I can go on dates with whoever I want and you too...Actually, anyone but him. I don't want Josh here."
"Yeah, I understand. What will you tell them?"
"I will tell the truth. I will say that we will have a kid together, but we are no longer together and I hope they can understand that and do not interfere in my decision."
"Alright!"
"I… I have to go. Zay must be worried."
"Lucas, I want you to take some time before you make that decision. I know this is so hard for you and I don't want you to feel much worse thinking that you have to do something. You don't have to force yourself! You shouldn't force yourself to live with me just because of a baby if you don't feel it. Please, think about it! I don't want to hurt you anymore."
"I have to go. We'll talk later."
He said getting up and leaving the room without daring to look at her.
"Where were you? I was already worried." That's what he heard as he closed the door of Zay's apartment. The brunette man got up from the couch leaving his cell phone in it, he was visibly worried "I even called Riley to ask if she was aware of anything."
He was tired, with no patience for conversation as his brain was still trying to digest everything that had happened in the last few hours. Lucas left his keys on the table near the door, took a deep breath and looked at his friend.
"What's up?" Said Zay watching him "What did you do?"
He said worriedly.
"I... She's pregnant."
"What?"
Said the surprised brunette man.
"And I did something really stupid."
Lucas saw his friend turn pale.
"What that fuck, Lucas! What did you do?"
He almost shouted and Lucas realized that he had expressed himself terribly.
"I did something stupid, I had sex with her!"
"So... You took so long because you were having sex with her?" He said confused and Lucas nodded what made Zay sighed in relief. "I thought you did something stupid, like hurt her. Watch your words, man!"
"I would never hurt her!"
"I know, you're still working with that bad side of you, and with everything that happened I'm kind of worried that you will let that Lucas take control of you."
"I would never hurt her! But him... I can't say the same about Josh."
"So, is Maya pregnant?"
"According to the pregnancy test she took, she is."
Zay gave him a melancholy smile as a form of comfort.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"I don't know. She said she's expecting a baby of mine."
"Yours? How could she know that?"
He said confused.
"She told me she never had sex with him."
"Do you believe her?"
"I don't know. A part of me does. That part wants blindly believe in what she says because it would make things better, if I can say it so, than the way that they are now. But the other part of me can't, it can't believe in her. That would just be another lie of her."
"I don't know, but I don't think she would lie about that, but if you are not comfortable with this situation there is always a possibility of getting a DNA test when the baby gets older."
"I'm going to move back there."
"So, are you guys back together?"
Said Zay surprised.
"We aren't back together. I just want to be around to know that everything is fine with the baby and her."
"Lucas, do you really think you can do that? It's so recent and it's not going to be easy for any of you guys to live together."
"I do not know. I just want them to be okay."
"It wouldn't be you if you thought otherwise, but Lucas you have to think about it, seeing her every day can hurt you a lot. And all those negative feelings you both are feeling can affect her and the baby because it's a situation very stressful for both of you."
"She said something like that."
"She said because she cares because she wants you to be happy. Do you really think you can be happy in a situation like this? You love her, and you have to see her every day without being able to touch her, and then feel bad about everything that happened and wondering why you are just not enough for her and then hating her, but at the end of the day, you just want her to feel something about you."
"I don't know, Zay. I'm tired. I just want to take a shower and go sleep."
"I got you! You need time to digest all this and also think about that decision. I just don't want you to put your feelings aside. You love her, even with all that happened, you still in love with her. I know that and you just confirmed me that when you said you had sex with her, and yeah sex with her was not a smart decision at the time. You have to focus on yourself at the moment. Maybe a quick trip back to Texas would be a good one decision at the moment so you can be away from it all and connect to yourself. Take a deep breath in the fresh air on the farm surround by the people that know you so well and love you and then make a decision that you won't regret for the next few years of your life.
"I don't know, but thanks for worrying, for trying to help me right now!"
"Well... That's what friends are for!"
I'm sorry it's been so long.
The next chapter will be told by Josh, and I was thinking of this being the last one, but I thought it would be best to write one about what happens in the lives of the three in the future. Will Josh and Maya meet after all? Will Lucas and Maya give each other a chance? Will the babies be boys, girls or both. Who ends up with who in the end?
Thanks for the reviews and support, I really appreciate them.
The next story to be updated will be GM Manhattan's lies. Take a look there if you haven't read it yet. Warning for Josh and Maya sensitive people: there is a lot of interaction between them there, so sit and watch whats is going to happen. In the next chapter, which is Shannon's birthday, we will have important characters and we'll know a bit about some people's past and I'm sad to start breaking up a couple in these chapters about Shannon's birthday party.
I'm in need to update You must be Her, I really want to!
For those who don't know what this story is about a summary:
Lucas and Riley got married and had kids;
Maya and Josh are stuck in an on-again, off-again relationship and Maya knows that in the end he always breaks her heart;
Riley and Farkle had a secret past;
Riley Matthews is dead, and she has left letters that Lucas should give to Maya, but will he really give them since they contain a reminder that Maya had promised to marry Riley's husband when she was no longer here?
Riley has a secret.
Have a great weekend and good back to those who are already returning to school and college!
If you see this chapter, it means that I didn't throw my laptop on the floor, which makes us two happy people at the moment.