I apologize for the long wait. I hand-write my drafts, and I misplaced the draft for this chapter (found it with my class notes; because I'm a terrible student who writes fanfiction during lectures). Plus, my friend refuses to type up my drafts, so the slow typing persists.
I hope you enjoy it.
Chapter 3
Crashed
Noah Manor, Utopia, September 14, 20XX
Since Allen had rejected their offer (he most definitely did not want to hear Shout again, the band decided to play another song for him instead. They all agreed on this, though (fortunately for Allen) they would need a few days of practice to prepare for it. Allen did not feel particularly upset about this turn of events, and a part of him was smug for inconveniencing his annoying relatives. However, the gentlemen in him felt guilty for making them go through so much trouble when they had truly been trying to make him feel welcome and appreciated. He apologized with sincerity, and the others seemed to forgive him quite easily. Well, the twins, not so much, but he had not expected them to. He did not know them well yet, but he had already figured this out about them. Whether they forgave him or not, they most certainly would not let him know it. Lavi seemed to understand that the previous song had unsettled Allen—no doubt he remembered seeing Allen's face that moment he peeked in on them during practice. The only way Allen could describe how it made him feel was the expression: 'it hit too close to home'. Luckily, his relatives were of a short attention span, and for the rest of their practice time, they argued over what song. At last, the group settled onto a song called Crashed.
"Is it a song you all wrote?" Allen asked them, curious now about this next song.
"Lavi did," Road corrected him. "He wrote it for a person who…impacted his life."
"That's an understatement," Allen heard Tyki mutter, and when he glanced at the teacher, he noted that the man looked to be both amused and grimacing. It was a decidedly odd combination. Allen sensed a dramatic and long tale, and asked no further questions about who the song had been written in honor of.
After practice, everyone went to the kitchenette on the second floor, divvying out left-over Greek food for dinner. Allen felt more comfortable with them now, having seen them interact together. And while he still did not look forward to having to join another family dinner, he did not mind eating in an informal place with them. It also helped that Kanda, someone who could easily be ruffled, tolerated everyone and even ate together with them at the small table in the kitchenette. So Allen sat with them, everyone crammed together around a small table. He ate his portion, and readily took what others gave him. They made sure to include him in their conversation, but not in an obnoxious way, or as an after-thought. He was pleasantly surprised to find that the affair, though lively, was pleasant and enjoyable. It was a better ending to his first day of school than he expected. Everyone had done their best to annoy him and pester him. At home, Allen realized everyone just wanted to relax and decompress.
After a pleasant bout of socialization and dinner, Allen retired to his room. He made a list of things he wanted his room, making sure to include colors (Earl had insisted he be specific, since he wanted a room that suited Allen). After setting up his keyboard and playing a little, he went to bed with an eased conscience.
::
Campbell Academy for the Gifted, Utopia, September 15, 20XX
His second day of school was a repetition of the first day. Quite frankly, this discouraged him. He still had no new friends, or people friendly enough to come talk to the new student. His cousins (is that how he was related to them? He couldn't remember) continued to harass him. Mainly the twins, he was beginning to learn. Allen was tired of them, and the third time they shot a piece of paper at his head, he whipped towards them and glared with all of the power of Black Allen, his inner self he usually tried to keep hidden. He felt embarrassed to have snapped like that, but decided putting the twins in their place was worth it. They left him alone for the rest of class.
Allen was wallowing in self-pity and loneliness when that changed. He sat, eating his food slowly, forlornly. Lamenting over the miniscule food portions. He didn't look forward to making it through the rest of the day on an empty stomach. Wisely would definitely eat his face later, the unfortunate result of Allen's hangriness.
Suddenly another tray plopped down next to his. Startled out of his contemplations, Allen looked up at the owner, and moved at the wrong time. Awkwardly his face was caught in warm arms embracing him fondly.
"You aren't escaping our wonderful company today, Allen," Lavi told him pleasantly, almost sounding smug. He let go of Allen, and took his seat. Allen stared at him, not quite sure what to do. He was even more startled by the sound of other trays clattering down, and he found Road, Wisely, and the twins coming to join them.
"Hey Allen," Wisely began as he settled into his chair. He gathered one of the teeny tiny containers of food up. "I'm not a big fan of the fruits or vegetables here. Do you want mine?"
Taken aback by the offer, Allen nodded. Before he knew it, everyone had placed some item or another on his tray. Their willingness to share their lunch was touching. Allen was at a loss for words.
"Eat up," Road told him eagerly as she took up the veggie burger from her tray. "I've got some treats for you to try once you're done eating."
"Why not eat them now?" asked Jasper. Allen realized those were the first words he had heard either of the twins speak since second period. Guiltily, he wondered if maybe he had been a little too mean.
"Because the food would ruin the taste," Road replied, making a face at him as if to say obviously.
"Ooooh, you brought the good stuff," Lavi said with a bright smile. Wisely's eyes sharpened on his sister like a hawk. He looked tempted to pick the girl's pocket. That would be a feat in itself, considering the girl's uniform appeared to have pockets too small for practical uses.
Where is she keeping the candy? Allen then wondered. He had certainly not seen a bag with her in the cafeteria. He glanced over her, pausing on her breasts. Then again, I don't think I want to know.
"That's the candy Sheryl brought back from Europe," Lavi said in a low, serious voice.
"If it's the chocolate, it's really good," David added, also looking really interested in Road—specifically where she was hiding it.
"You don't like sweets, do you?" Jasper asked, turning to look at Allen hopefully.
Of course I do," he replied, more than little amused. "I like to eat in general."
He began digging into his food now that the period for them to take back their food had passed. He decided to eat slowly, as he had yesterday at dinner. He wanted to seem normal, not like a vacuum cleaner that inhaled everything at once.
Last night had been successful. Today was not.
As he ate, he became aware of everyone watching him with unconcealed, unashamed awe.
"Woah, is that a magic trick or something?" asked David, his eyes wide. He squinted at Allen's face. "There's not even a crumb on your face!"
"You've got to be using sleight of hand," his twin agreed. As if of the same mind, Wisely glanced under the table briefly, then back up. He studied Allen, scrutinizing him. Road, however, thought it was cool.
"How are you doing that? Where do you put the food?" she asked excitedly.
Allen chuckled, amused that they thought he was a magician.
"In my stomach," he answered bluntly. To demonstrate, he took the apple Wisely had sacrificed to the pit of his stomach (he had already eaten the veggies) with exaggerated slowness. Now, Allen had never actually shown anyone his process of eating. He didn't really have the patience, and he didn't feel comfortable enough to do that with most people. He also did not realize that he had a few different ways of eating than other people. Firstly, he plucked the stem off. Secondly, he raised the apple to his mouth with mocking slowness. The second he opened his mouth, however, everything diverged.
"The hell?!" Lavi exclaimed, voicing everyone's shock as an entire apple was popped into Allen's mouth. "Did you unhinge your jaw or something?"
Allen then chewed in rapid succession, and in under five seconds he opened his mouth, utterly devoid of food, to answer.
"I don't think so," he replied. "Why do you ask?"
"It isn't normal for someone to shove a whole apple in their mouth, especially not that size," Wisely informed him matter-of-factly.
"Well," Allen began, wondering if it was worth pointing out that it was normal for him. He wasn't sure it was worth the argument that would follow.
"Nor is it possible for a normal person to eat an apple of that size in such a short amount of time."
This know-it-all, Allen thought irritably. He was now wondering if it was alright to punch someone in the face if they had given him food. Wisely definitely deserved to be taken down a few notches. He could do it later. In Chemistry. Right now, food was more important.
::
Noah Manor, Utopia
"What are they doing right now?" Earl asked Marian over the phone. He sat in his office, eyes continuously glancing towards the clock. The kids would be returning from school soon.
"They have searched and searched, but there is no innocence left to be found. It looks like you truly destroyed all of it when you cursed the Black Order," Marian answered. "As we speak, they are trying to find you, and they plan to devise a method to kill witches and warlocks without innocence by the time they finally succeed in learning your whereabouts."
"It cannot be done, unless by my hand, or my kin's," Earl responded. "They shall devise in vain. They cannot kill us, nor can they expect to win whatever battle they choose to fight."
"If they find proof of your immortality, they may expose that to the world," Marian warned him. Earl frowned. Yes, that would be a problem. Previously he had to worry about accusations causing witch hunts. Presently, people were less superstitious, and even promoted science over the idea of magic. If scientists caught wind of immortals, they would wonder why, and how can we live forever like them? A new, equally dangerous hunt would begin. Earl admitted he and his family could change their faces if they so chose to, or they could be reborn. But a Noah is not inhuman, and treasures his or her identity. Allen was a rare example of being reborn body and soul, but then he had been a new Noah entity and existed outside normal parameters. He would waken fully this time—Earl planned to make certain of it. Considering Allen's previous life, however, the Noah within no doubt suffered enough trauma to delay that awakening until the boy reached his twenties.
But back to the conversation.
"Yes, that would be problematic. I will have to come up with a way to prevent that," he said at last, somewhat distractedly. "What do they know of Allen?"
"Nothing yet, although they are waiting for him to reincarnate like the other Exorcists," Marian replied. Earl smiled grimly, remembering the curse he had cast so many centuries ago. He had never been so powerful before. Grief made him do things he had never thought himself capable of before. His curse tied the Exorcists to Allen, who would be born again. They all lived horrible lives after the witch trials—his curse ensured that. And while he gave them no troubles now, he made certain they remembered every pain. Perhaps it had been a blessing in disguise, a prophecy of hope for them…
Fear not, he will be born again.
Have courage, his accusers will answer.
Rejoice, the traitor will redeem himself.
But it was a curse that bound them. Earl intended to render all with pain and grief and guilt until they bowed beneath the weight. He imagined outwardly the people involved did not exhibit much of this. But in the dark, he would bet they wept and ached in their hearts. That was his revenge.
"The Exorcists remember their pasts lives?" Earl asked lightly, already knowing the answer.
"They do," Marian confirmed.
"They deserve it," Earl told him. The General was quiet for a moment.
"If Allen meets them, will he remember his past?" he wondered, voicing his worry at last.
"He may remember feelings, the emotions he associated with those people. Nothing more," Earl swore to him.
"Allen cannot be allowed to remember."
"It is our duty to keep him safe and happy in this life; do not worry. I intend to do this no matter how awful this war may become."
"How is the brat doing, anyways?"
Earl leaned back in his chair, breathing out through his nose solemnly.
"I suppose he is doing well. He didn't really come out of his room until he was certain that the others had left the house. He did seem to warm up to the others yesterday," he added, a hint of optimism in his voice.
"Give him time. He doesn't trust easily. It will be a while before he is comfortable," said Marian. "When he shows you his rude side, then you will know he feels safe around you."
"You know him quite well," Earl remarked. "You've really raised him with all of the intentions of a parent!"
"What? Don't say that. You make it sound like I want to be a parent."
I am far from being a good man, let alone a good father, went unspoken between the two men.
"He misses you," Earl said, the words slipping out thoughtlessly. Marian paused, no doubt full of mixed feeling upon hearing that confession.
"I'll be back to see him in time for Christmas," he said gruffly, his voice sounding suspiciously shaky. "He will be fine until then. I taught him how to stand on his own two feet, after all."
Smiling, Earl bid Marian Cross farewell. Down below, he could hear the beginnings of a fine ruckus as the children entered the mansion. Using this inhuman hearing, he listened to them file up to the Thinking Room for homework. He was relieved to hear Allen speak here and there. For the most part, the boy spoke sparingly and politely, but still it was improvement. Though a baby step, Earl felt as if Allen had taken a leap across a gorge.
As soon as everything quieted, Earl went out from the study, downstairs to check on them. He peeped into the Thinking Room, and his heart felt as if it might burst from happiness.
Allen sat comfortably on the floor between Wisely and Lavi, occasionally asking one or the other for help. It was a simple, mundane scene, it wasn't familial yet. Still, it was real, and Allen did not look the slightest bit uncomfortable. Earl could not have imagined a more hopeful scene to spy on.
::
The Vatican's Disciples, Massachusetts
"Have you found the Noahs yet, Komui?" the girl asked her brother. She adjusted her knee-high socks and the long skirt of her uniform. The picture of Catholic schoolgirl.
"No, not yet. We have a few leads, but we are not certain," Komui lied. He smiled as he took in his sister's appearance. The eleventh and twelfth graders wore a different uniform than the others, and today was her first day wearing it. He didn't like her wearing a skirt so much shorter, but at least it still went to her knees. Her hair was in pigtails still, but gone were the braids. "You look good."
She smiled, a shadow in her eyes. She didn't want to tell him that her new uniform reminded her of the one she wore in her past life. Those were dark, ugly times that she wished she could erase from her memories. Lenalee remembered every second in vivid detail. Her brother also remembered, but it was in bits and pieces. Considering the curse cast, it made sense. He had played a less involved, passive role in Allen's death, while she was the reason he had been killed. As a modern woman, she understood that war far better than the naïve, prejudiced girl who sentenced an innocent to death. She had been young then, and her young man had not quite understood the concept of war and killing until she was an active participant in it. She could not even begin to imagine how Allen must have felt. He had been fighting for years, a war veteran, by the time she began her training. And he had been younger than her. Then he had been burned to death because of her hate and cruelty. Lenalee remembered her abusive husband from her previous life. He like to beat her, and enjoyed sharing their bed even if she did not. She wondered…after the war crippled her…if that was the pain Allen had lived with all of his life, and how his death compared to what she had been put through. Lenalee couldn't take it for more than a few years. After ten years passed, she murdered her husband, and then killed herself.
"Go on, get to school," Komui urged her. His little sister was drawn from her dark contemplations, into the brighter world she now lived in. With a genuine smile, she threw her arms around her brother's neck and kissed his cheek.
"Bye!" she exclaimed, slinging a bag over her shoulder.
"And no kissing that boyfriend of yours!" he called after the girl. Her laughter followed her out of the house. Komui's smile fell once he was certain she was gone. The man opened his laptop, starting the necessary applications, organizing tabs and documents in preparation. Just as he finished, he saw someone was video-calling him. He accepted it.
"Komui here," he answered.
"Do you have anything to report?"
"All Exorcists of the last generation, with the exception of General Kanda Yuu, have been accounted for. Only those who were involved in the killing of Allen Walker retain their memories," he responded. "I would advise against recruiting the Exorcists who do not remember."
"And General Cross is the only General from that time period we know for certain has been reborn?"
"Yes," Komui affirmed. "We encountered Lavi and Bookman, but they claimed neutrality."
"Of course. Are you certain there has been no sign of Allen Walker?"
Komui shook his head. "Not yet. It is unclear whether he will be a Noah or an Exorcist. We are not even certain he had been or will be reborn at all."
"That is concerning. Have we identified the Noah family?"
"We have, but yet to find a location," Komui answered. "We have profiles on all of the members, but imagine they are lying low. If their location is found, how do we proceed? We know that they are well-known, and the public thinks positively of them."
"We proceed however we can. Another chance may not come along."
Komui nodded, Inside, he disagreed with the unspoken command to kill on sight. He had seen enough bloodshed. He was done with battles, and he did not want to put his sister back into a bloody war. He also knew that their side would lose this time. The Earl was always three steps ahead. He always knew how to attack them while minimizing the damage to his side and maximum damage to theirs. The Vatican believed God brought them back, memories and all, to win the unfinished war. Komui and the Exorcists knew it was, in fact, the Earl's curse, their punishment for killing Allen Walker. As if the destruction of innocence had not been enough—they dug their own graves by burning that boy alive. Allen Walker had been the Heart. Lavi had broken Allen's heart and trust, and they all betrayed him. They shattered Allen, the Heart, to pieces, and burned him until all evidence was naught but ashes. They destroyed the innocence all by themselves. Komui readily admitted that humanity was made of destroyers. He could only hope that this curse could become a blessing and teach destroyers who could also save.
"May I request an audience with them?" Komui asked. He hoped beyond hope that they might let them follow a path other than violence and bloodshed. "Perhaps we could broker a peace between us, or play a war game to settle things."
"What are you saying? We do not deal with those—"
"We have a disadvantage," Komui interrupted softly. "You and I both know that we cannot, logically, win a war. Our numbers are too few, we have no weapons killing Noahs. There are even open followers of the Earl these days, like the Wiccan, who are accepted enough not to be persecuted."
He saw the face of his superior and decided to speak frankly.
"I am sick of all of this bloodshed. Surely they are too," he persisted.
A measure of silence fell.
"Alright. If it is possible, and they agree, do it."
::
Campbell Academy for the Gifted, Utopia, September 16, 20XX
Allen was surprised at how quickly he adapted. By the time Friday came, school was not so bad. He realized that he was not the only one who needed to adjust to the change. His relatives also had no idea how to treat him, and just as Allen learned when and when not to trust/take words to heart/ignore/many other verbs concerning annoying relatives, they learned how not to push his boundaries, and most importantly, when not to push them.
The twins remained unforgivably devious and Wisely was still obnoxious—Allen learned to tolerate them by Friday. Eventually he accepted Road's hugs after the hundredth one given (Thursday evening), and admitted to himself that physical forms of affection were somewhat pleasant. And Lavi was an angel compared to the others. Even if he could be a little too enthusiastic and rambunctious. And he enjoyed pranking people a tad too much.
Everything, while not perfect, had become tolerable. He even sat with everyone during lunch; well, those who had the same lunch hour as he did.
"This weekend, we are having a sleepover," Road informed Allen as she settled down next to him. From her tray, she picked out the sides she knew he liked and handed them over to Allen without fanfare. As an afterthought, she also gave him her milk carton.
"How is it a sleepover?" asked Lavi, already half-way done with his food. "I mean, don't we all live together…?"
The girl resolutely ignored him. Wisely, however, explained it to him.
"It's because the band gets together for a party, and then everyone sleeps together in the same room," Wisely explained. "We may all live together, but we don't party every day. We also don't share a room every weekend either. Except for the twins."
"There is that," Lavi admitted thoughtfully. To Allen, he said, "Wisely doesn't usually do much with us during 'sleepovers'. A lot of the time the others are noisy, and he often gets migraines, so he keeps to himself."
"Can I also stay in my room?" Allen requested hopefully. He was slowly coming to accept his family and could even say he might grow to like some of them; that did not mean he wanted to 'party' with them or otherwise socialize with them more than he already was. He had only done crazy things with Narain, who had convinced (forced) him to join him on crazy adventures that gave him the most wonderful adrenaline rushes. Without someone like that now, someone he trusted, Allen saw no point in participating.
"Oh, no, we will both be forced to join since it's your first weekend with us," Wisely informed him, looking less than impressed at the prospect of something migraine-inducing to look forward to over his supposed period to relax.
"Don't worry, this weekend will be tame," Road promised him. "We are watching the last few episodes of last season's Crowd Surfing. We will also play a couple of games, or do karaoke. Maybe both. "
Allen briefly wondered why anyone would throw 'untame' parties. It wasn't like any of them could go buy alcohol in America. Though considering the number of times Narain nicked some, he supposed it wouldn't be a surprise if the others did the same.
"We don't have homework time on Friday?" Allen asked curiously.
"Well, we do," answered Road. "But afterwards, we have free time. We use that time to celebrate. Since it's your first weekend, we'll party hard on Friday. I think Earl wants to take you shopping Saturday."
"We should practice our song on Saturday while they're gone," Lavi suggested. "Then Sunday, we perform it."
"That's a great idea!" Road praised. Allen recalled their band and their previous attempt to greet him with a song. He hoped the one called Crashed would be okay, but he wasn't sure about how these next few songs would go. He wasn't a part of the band; maybe he could skip out on their practices. Even if they weren't saying it, but somehow implying he was invited—required?—at their practice on Sunday.
"I'm not so sure that's a good idea," said Allen slowly. Then he wondered how many songs they even had to practice with.
"Don't worry, we won't sing a 'creepy' song," Lavi assured him mockingly, using quotation marks with his fingers. Allen made no further comment, and decided to devour his food before it could get too cold.
"I'll never get used to that," Lavi remarked, his green eye watching the way food disappeared into Allen's mouth. He wondered if the boy was using magic.
After lunch, Allen went to Kanda's art class in a much better mood than usual. They were done with watercolors now (Allen was glad; Earl may not have minded all of the shirts he had ruined with the paints, but the boy certainly hated the idea of someone else paying for his messes). Instead, they were going over a new unit: shading. Allen liked using both hands to write and paint and draw, but in this unit he found one hand shaded horribly and the other could not 'shade' any more lightly than a dark scribble. Kanda made comments about it during class, but his dark eyes were undoubtedly amused every time he glanced over at Allen's attempts. Allen was a little irritated by that amusement, but he did his best not to take any offense. Kanda was blunt and never hid what he thought; Allen both appreciated and admired that trait. He always wore a mask and shielded himself from other people. Kanda, on the other hand, bravely wore his heart and thoughts on his face. They just so happened to be negative, for the most part. It worked well enough as a defense.
Kanda walked around the tables, looking over his students' shoulders. He paused by Allen. The boy resisted the urge to look up with a challenging gaze.
"Ugly, isn't it?" he asked lightly, doing his best to shade the circle—the attempts certainly did not make it look the sphere he was going for. It was a circle. A very dark circle.
"Very," Kanda agreed. Feeling disheartened, Allen sighed and pushed the paper away. He was done trying. He was surprised when Kanda slid it back over to him. In confusion, the boy looked up, and was surprised to see warmth in Kanda's dark eyes—which he was just beginning to see were an extremely dark shade of blue. "You won't improve if you give up now, Allen."
Allen was surprised by the clear encouragement. He bit his lip in an attempt to control from giving away his true emotions, and did his best to try again, and again. He wasn't one to give up so easily, now was he?
Allen decided to linger after class. He knew Kanda didn't mind a short chat, and would likely write him a note for his next class. He considered making this a habit, because he certainly didn't want to leave the sanctuary he found in Kanda's class.
Allen took his time packing up when the bell rang. Once the other students filtered out, he initiated a conversation.
"Do you know about these sleepovers?" he asked.
"Of course," Kanda replied. He grimaced, picking ebony pencils off of the floor. "I am forced to attend these foolish 'sleepovers', because it is considered 'band binding time'."
Allen immediately felt bad for him. Kanda, though a young teacher, was still several years older than everyone. It was probably torturous for him to spend so much time around such annoying teenagers, especially when he so clearly preferred to be alone most of the time.
"Tonight will not be too wild," Kanda promised, misinterpreting the twist of Allen's face. "We already discussed it."
Allen started. "What? When?"
"In our group message," the teacher replied simply. "All the band members are in it. We thought we could watch re-runs of Crowd Surfing, maybe the finals of last season. Next season is the last one, so we want to marathon it. Depending on what we do, there may also be some video games."
"Oh," was all Allen could think of to say. Those things didn't sound too bad. Much better than karaoke, at least.
"Don't worry, it won't be too torturous," Kanda said, all too understanding of Allen's tendency to be somewhat reclusive. Allen nodded, and pulled his bag on his shoulder. He waited for Kanda to write him a note for his next class. He accepted the note with a murmur of thanks. He walked towards the door.
"Allen," Kanda called hesitantly. The boy stopped, looking back at his teacher. The man seemed at war with himself. At last, he sighed. "IF you truly have your heart set on trying to shade better, tell me. I will help you after school."
Allen was taken aback by the offer, and couldn't hold back his smile in time.
"Thanks," he said, this time with more feeling than he had meant in a long time.
::
Noah Manor, Utopia
"They want to meet with you," General Cross warned Earl over the phone. "Komui has been pushing a diplomatic approach. He will soon contact you."
"Is it genuine?" asked Earl.
"Yes, Komui is tired of war, and repenting. He knows they cannot win on fair ground either."
Earl was quiet, pleased to hear of the man's suffering. He was also pleased to know that Komui did not want war anymore than Earl did; at least the moral man had remained level-headed throughout the reincarnation process.
"What do you think he will propose?" Earl wanted to know. He could not see Komui's supervisors supporting a truce. They were pigheaded and could not, for lack of more graceful phrasing, pull their heads far enough out of their asses to see reason.
"He may suggest a new kind of warfare, something less lethal. Perhaps a wargame," Cross replied. Earl drew in a breath, releasing it.
"I will also try to think of alternatives," he said at last. "Komui is usually a reasonable man. I think we may reach an accord."
"Understood."
"And give Allen a shout, yes? He misses you," Earl added.
"It hasn't even been a week," Cross pointed out. "Isn't it risky?"
"Even an email will do," he responded. Cross agreed, and they ended the call. Earl sat at the desk, his fingers rolling against the wooden surface in a rhythmic drum. He was deeply concerned. Komui might share his hopes for a bloodless war, they might even be able to create a peace treaty. Unfortunately, Komui only wielded so much power and influence.
Earl's eyes glowed yellow as he used he stirred his magic into awakening for usage.
"Lavi," he said, voice carrying into Lavi's mind despite the distance between them.
Yes? Lavi answered.
"How is Allen doing?"
He's fine. I think Kanda cheered him up. Is something wrong, Earl? Asked Lavi, his emotions brushing across Earl's through their mental link.
"No. I simply felt a little anxious. Are you all done with homework?"
Yes. We are eating a snack, then we will perform our song for him.
"And afterwards, what will you do?" the man asked.
Watch television. Crowd Surfing has reruns. At midnight they'll reveal this season's special twist.
Earl wasn't particularly interested in that, but he felt like he needed to take a break for the day.
"Do you mind if I join all for a little while?"
No, not at all, Lavi replied.
Earl's eyes faded back to a normal color and he went across the observatory into the music room, trying to force his mind to relax and be at ease while he waited for them to arrive. Kanda was already present—he had given the Millennium Earl a small, respectful nod to acknowledge his entrance—but he was more focused on tuning his instrument. It was just as well. Kanda was a man of few words, though he had mellowed in modern times. He tolerated those he respected, and treated them with indifference. Most others he gave harsh words or threats. He toned it down with his students, using mild insults, borderline words of love for Kanda.
Earl smiled as he thought about the strangeness of Kanda, for all rules and laws which defined Kanda bent when it came to Allen. Allen held a special place in Kanda's heart. Or perhaps it would even be more accurate to say that Allen held Kanda's heart in his very hands. Kanda would always treat him with kindness and gentleness.
There was a sound of rambunctious teenagers stomping around his house, and this drew Earl out of his contemplation of Kanda. It didn't take much longer for the rabble to enter, coming in a loud wave; full of chatter and youthful energy. As soon as the first trio came in, they walked past Earl, and then when they realized he was there, the patriarch found himself crushed under the weight of a set of twins and Road. He groaned and pretended that they were suffocating (though as an immortal, it really wouldn't have killed him if they were too heavy). Earl continued to groan and wheeze and protest. The others came in, chuckling at the sight, or in Allen's case, looking horrified.
"Earl?" the white-haired boy asked uncertainly. The trio took that moment to climb off of him so that they could prepare to perform. Allen moved to take a seat next to Earl. "Are you alright?"
Touched by the concern the shy boy was showing, Earl smiled warmly.
"I'm fine," he assured Allen, straightening his attire. "See?"
Allen's gaze looked relieved. He turned his attention to the band, the group members situating themselves, experimentally testing the sounds of their instruments, tuning when necessary. While his gaze and mind were elsewhere, he did not notice the way his body slowly gravitated towards Earl's. But Earl did notice, mostly because he felt the warmth of Allen's shoulder against his after a few minutes. Simply that unconscious display of trust and contentment eased some of his tension. Really, it did wonders to him, knowing that Allen was becoming comfortable here.
"Are we ready?" Kanda asked impatiently, glancing back at them. Once a general consensus had been met amongst the band members, everyone got into place. Lavi and Tyki argued over who could use the real microphone and who would have to use none—eventually all was settled.
"Are you ready for the song we made for your welcoming?" Lavi asked through the microphone (to his pride's injury, it had been pointed out Tyki had the louder voice).
"You take forever," Allen responded, his eyes teasing. It was not expected, how much of his true self he was showing to them.
"Alright you guys," Lavi said, nodding to the band. "Three! Two! One!"
He brought the microphone to his lips.
"Well I was moving at the speed of sound.
Head spinning, couldn't find my way around, and
Didn't know I was going down," he sang out, exhibiting more control over his voice than Allen expected. Here, Tyki joined in the song.
"Yeah, yeah," they sang together. Tyki lowered his voice until he and Lavi were singing in perfect sync with each other. Allen watched their expressions as they moved into what he was certain would be the chorus. Tyki's eyes were closing, but Lavi's…bore right into him.
"And then I crashed into you,
And I went up in flames.
Could've been the death if me," he sang. Allen, once more, could not look away. "But then you breathed your breath in me.
"Then I crashed into you,
Like a runaway train,
You will consume me,
But I can't walk away," they sang together again, and Lavi turned his gaze away. Allen drew in a shaky breath in relief.
"Somehow I couldn't stop myself
I just wanted to know how it felt
Too strong, I couldn't hold on, yeah, yeah
Now I'm just tryin' to make some sense
Out of how and why this happened
Where we're headed
There's just no knowin', yeah, yeah."
Allen knew that Lavi would once more cast him under an inexplicable spell. So he cast his eyes upon Tyki instead.
Lavi's eyebrows knit into a frown when he noticed this.
"And then I crashed into you
And I went up in flames
Could've been the death of me
But then you breathed your breath in me
Then I crashed into you
Like a runaway train
You will consume me
But I can't walk away."
Tyki and Lavi glanced at each other, a brief moment where they silently communicated with each other. In that moment, Allen saw the light hit Tyki's eyes strangely, and they flashed gold. Then the moment was gone.
The next part they sung almost too softly, and it was like a caress to the ears; a caress that touched Allen's heart.
"Your face, your eyes,
Are burnt into me," and here their voices grew louder and more powerful.
You save me you gave me
Just what I need
Oh just what I need!
And then I crashed into you
And I went up in flames
Could've been the death of me
But then you breathed your breath in me
Then I crashed into you
Like a runaway train
You will consume me
But I can't walk away."
By now, Allen was certain the song was almost over because they were picking up a powerful momentum. His eyes were drawn back to Kanda, who was playing, long hair swaying as he moved bodily with the flows of his bow on violin string. It stirred something in his heart, hearing, feeling, seeing music being made. As it always did.
Tyki and Lavi drew in their breaths to carry off the last of the song—and did their voices sound ever so powerful and strong.
"Then I crashed into you
And then I crashed into you
And then I crashed into you
And then I crashed into you
Then I crashed into you
Like a runaway train
You will consume me
But I can't walk away," they finished. Lavi's voice was almost wistful, and Tyki sounded almost aggressive. They worked together so perfectly, Allen was almost envious.
The last notes of the song died, Allen and Earl rose to their feet to applaud them. Allen's eyes were bright from both the excitement and emotion he could not explain. The uncomfortable feelings Lavi's gaze had brought forgotten, he was in awe. Earl watched Allen from the corner of his eye as discretely as possible. He had noticed the moment between Allen and Lavi, and felt deeply conflicted. Kanda was also gazing between them, the emotion there dark and unhappy. Luckily Allen was oblivious to all of this. Even if he had noticed, he did not understand the history between these three men; he would be unable to interpret the way the shadows of the heart colored their eyes.
Allen's laughter shook out unhappy thoughts, and Earl relaxed himself to watch the boy congratulate them on a success in impressing him. If he looked carefully, he was almost certain he could find an observable longing in Allen to join them in their music making.
"That was amazing! I loved it!" he said, going towards the group. For a brief moment his, his gaze met Lavi's. A shudder ran down his spine, but he could not look away. His heart thumped in his heart, as if trying to burst out.
Luckily Road came over to him to give him a hug. He accepted it. Lavi watched him, feeling both hope and confusion at whatever had passed between them. Kanda glanced over at the redhead, his jaw tightening. He could see from the softness in Lavi's face that something was blossoming in the man's breast. And he wasn't sure how he felt about that. Lavi had hurt Allen horrifically in the past, and in Kanda's opinion, the red-head did not deserve to love Allen or receive the boy's affection. But Kanda had lived before, and knew this was a decision not to be made by him.
Little did he know that Earl was watching Lavi with a similar frame of mind. He wondered if he should step in, or leave it alone.
"Alright, let's go downstairs to watch Crowd Surfing!" Devitt shouted. Laughing, the flood of teenagers left the room, Allen more carried off than led by the twins. Tyki followed with the excuse that someone needed to watch them. Alone, three stood in the music room with a somber atmosphere surrounding them. As usual, Kanda wasted no time speaking his mind.
"You were singing to Allen," he said bluntly.
"He is the one who changed my life," Lavi replied. "Besides, I know you love him."
"Firstly, I know my place. Secondly, I never hid my feelings from Allen. He always knew I loved him. But that's neither here nor there, because our issue concerns the fact he is not the same Allen we knew, and he doesn't remember anything that we do," Kanda said waspishly, feeling both angry and sad. He still hated Lavi for the pain he had purposely caused Allen, and for the lack of action to save Allen. Unfortunately, relationships are complicated, and time forced Kanda to grudgingly accept Lavi as a (loosely using the term) friend. They had too much history to be something less, and something more. The term "frienemy" definitely described their situation.
"What do you mean, know my place?" Lavi demanded.
"I am, and will forever be his friend first," Kanda told him unwaveringly. "I am not here to develop a relationship with him. I am here to give him happiness and safety. As you should be."
Lavi' fire died with him as he realized Kanda had a good point. A very good point.
"Lavi, what you feel belongs to you. But do not forget that we cannot push Allen into anything. He is young and in no position to pursue a relationship with anyone, let alone people he knew in a past life," the Earl spoke. "Regardless of all else, we have a duty to nurture and protect him. That duty becomes before anything else. Do you understand?"
"Yes," Lavi said softly, recalling how love had once made him selfish and eventually cruel.
"Allen's well-being is our first priority," Kanda added gruffly. "Whatever occurs between him and anyone else is his choice. But romance is not something we initiate."
"I understand," Lavi reiterated. He reminded himself that this was fair. Allen was a wounded soul. In any other circumstance, you would approach such a person with caution and great consideration towards that person. One false move might shatter—
"Allen comes first," Lavi said, because even if he did not owe Allen a great deal (and he did), Allen needed it. And besides, what did he know of love? He was not ready to give Allen the love he deserved.
Earl walked over to the red-head, putting his hands on the slumped shoulders.
"Remember this, Lavi," he urged. The red-head nodded. Earl gave him a kind smile, patting the shoulders for a moment. "Come. Let's go downstairs."
Lavi followed the Noah patriarch down the stairs. Kanda lingered a moment, thinking of Allen's expression and reaction to Lavi. He resolutely pushed any thoughts of jealousy out of his mind, because it really didn't matter if Allen fell for Lavi (yet again), before joining everyone else in the Game Room.
The sight of everyone pulling out blankets and pillows to create a large pallet over the floor in front of the television. Road had laid out the base structure, taking two Queen-sized comforters. The twins quickly returned with two more to layer on top of that. Allen came into the room with his pillows and the soft blanket he kept under the comforter in his room. Tyki did much the same, but of course it looked more ridiculous to see and adult do the same thing.
"Alright, get your stuff and get your pajamas on," the elder man ordered. He gestured for Lavi to get a move on, then looked towards Kanda. "We haven't washed your clothes yet, so you can borrow some of mine."
"Thanks," the art teacher said drily. Tyki waved him off in the direction of his room.
"You know where my stuff's at."
Kanda reluctantly left.
Once everyone was changed and settled, they turned on the T. V. Allen had taken the edge of the pallet, Road pressed against his side (though Wisely promised to switch places with her when she fell asleep). Tyki and Kanda sat between the twins as a barrier, and Lavi was on the opposite edge.
"So this is a talent show?" Allen asked, waiting for a commercial to end. Really, an hour show was only forty minutes long, and twenty minutes of advertisements.
"For bands," Road corrected. "It's been running for ten years, but the last season will pick up this year. We are watching some of the re-runs, a compilation of the best performances and auditions."
Allen hummed thoughtfully. But then the commercial ended and all thoughts were cast aside in favor of seeing what this show was about.
"Hi, I'm Suman, your host for Crowd Surfing," the person greeted. "Welcome to season four…"
They watched, enraptured by the amazing auditions and performances; not to mention the criticisms that followed.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, put your hands together for Karma and the Crows!"
The band walked out onto the stage to the sounds of a whole concert hall cheering, dressed in their best costumes yet. Road leaned over to Allen.
"This is Kanda's favorite performance, and his favorite band," she whispered.
Allen glanced at his art teacher, smiling when he saw the way Kanda was attentively watching the screen.
Did you have a sweetheart?
Her name was Alma.
Allen's breath caught as the words formed in his mind. Kanda heard and turned to look at Allen. Grey met near black.
He saw a sketch of himself done in charcoal.
"A man took me in…taught me to draw and paint."
Kanda had sketched him.
Confused, frightened, and embarrassed, Allen swallowed and looked down. He could feel the lingering gaze on him, momentarily touching upon his face before leaving.
"Are you ready?" Alma Karma shouted into the microphone. The crowd roared. He grinned. "This is our thanks to you, to all of you, who support us. We dedicate this song to you."
The cheering continued as the lights dimmed in preparation of their final performance. It continued for a full minute before all fell silent. Then a low blue light slowly illuminated the stage.
The guitar began, then the drums, and it was good.
"Load up on guns
Bring your friends
It's fun to lose and to pretend
She's overboard, self assured
Oh no I know, a dirty word
Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello," Alma began in a calm voice. Then he sang and his voice became rougher than Allen had heard before in any of the other songs.
"With the lights out, it's less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us
A mulatto, an Albino
A mosquito, my libido, yeah."
Allen could see why they were liked. It was a good song, and they were killing it. He understood now why the judges had mentioned their potential being their biggest weapon. Allen would never have expected Alma to be able to pull off a voice like that at the beginning of the show. But he had grown.
At the height of the roar and applause, Karma took the microphone, singing his heart out. He sang and sang, approaching the edge of the stage. Then in a moment of pure trust, he turned his back and threw himself onto the crowd. The crowd caught him, and it was a success for them all. During his entire surf, Karma didn't stumble or falter once in his song, and one by one the band took leaps into the crowd.
"And the band has done it!" Suman shouted, his eyes bright with excitement. "They have done! They've won!"
Allen was grinning too, feeling the contagious joy. It had been a journey, and something was undeniably satisfying to see the people he had watched grown as musicians succeed so well.
Allen and his family continued to watch the show, enjoying the highs and lows, the endless drama, the love. The twist that was supposed to be unveiled was not, and everyone gave up on trying to stay awake. Sometime in the wee hours of morning, Earl came in to turn off the T.V. now that everyone was asleep. He smiled down at the children, his heart swelling with pure adoration for each and every one—including the grumpy one who was even scowling in his sleep.
He paused to watch the closing announcement, since he wondered what was so likeable about this show.
"Thank you all for your support over the years," Suman said, looking quite moved. "We only have one last season to go, and I hope it will be a fantastic one. So don't let this opportunity pass you by. Win."
Earl smiled in amusement, crossing his arms.
"This is a battlefield," Suman continued, his words suddenly sparking something in the Millennium Earl's mind. "It is rough, and the competition is always strong, and only the best can win. But if you believe in yourself, you may find something in yourself that wasn't there before. Have some courage and step into this musical warzone!"
Earl's mind was turning wheels.
Is this fate? He wondered.
::
The Vatican's Disciples, Massachusetts
"Brother, look what we have," Lenalee said excitedly, showing him the flier in her hand, and the application she had picked up that day. Komui took both, looking over the top of the flier.
Crowd Surfing.
The application was for a band tryout.
In his mind an idea, a very very ludicrous idea, formed.
::
Noah Manor, Utopia, September 17, 20XX
"You love that idiot," he said while we sat back to back in the forest. Only us.
"Lavi?" I asked, using a light tone to counteract the gravity of his question.
"I can see it in your eyes when you look at him. You love him with your entire being." Yes, Kanda sees and knows me. He sees through the mask like Mana, Cross—like the Earl.
"Does it not bother you?"
And Kanda looked not at me, but at a bird in the distance, his gaze a shade darker than before.
"The only thing I am concerned with is the fact that you have fallen in love with someone who is too blinded by beauty to see that which is amazing about you." Wise, deep Kanda. "I am not one to shy away from homosexuality or condemn it, nor is Lavi. But he is not a girl, dear Allen. You can never marry him. You may as well forget him, and let your heart be contained."
And I had given him a sad smile.
"The heart does not like to be restrained, Kanda. Nothing can control this emotion."
He said nothing more than that.
I wish I had fallen for him instead of Lavi.
Allen awoke, the lingering emotions in his chest making his heart ache. He dashed away the tears with a frown. He wasn't sure what to make of the dream, but decided it lit a fire, a spark of inspiration, and causes didn't really matter. He was full of emotion and words—in that moment, he was filled with music.
He left the pallet, dragging himself from Wisely. He quietly crept up to the music room for music sheets clean of on other works. As he reached for it, he caught sight of the binders the band used. Allen hesitantly pulled his hand from the sheets and instead pulled out one of the binders. It was a simple black binder with a painting of nature on the cover. It also read, Book of Songs. He traced the letters, realizing that perhaps he did want to be a part of the band. Maybe deep down, he wanted a way to express himself.
Allen took the binder and the blank music sheets. He set himself in the observatory by the window. With the light of the rising sun he worked on the newborn song being brought to life.
He did not know it, but Kanda silently walked up the stairs, having awoken when he heard soft footsteps above. The man stayed for a while to watch Allen work, admiring the curve of his face, the concentration, and the glow cast by the warm colors of the rising sun.
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Songs used:
Crashed, by Daughtry
Smells Like Teen Spirits, by Nirvana
Thank you for your reviews. They remind me why I keep writing fanfic.