In which Link is a sad boy, he needs a hug.
Enjoy!
Link had been nothing but a gentleman, nothing but helpful, nothing but smiles since he left Uli a fortnight ago. He went there daily, more than twice a day. It wasn't that she was jealous, nor was it as if she wanted him to stop coming to the village or stop seeing Uli, but...
He was different, he felt different, almost desperate in his need to help. He had fixed everyone's fences, began working in repairing anything amiss in people's houses, he spent everyday with the children and her. He went back to his house just to sleep.
Once, when he had taken the sheeps to graze, she saw him drawing and drawing and writing letters, she had seen him with three full pages - fervently writing - when curiosity had gotten the better of her and she had made her way as silently as she could. She knew that if he had been alert, she would have been caught instantly, but he was feverish in concentration, and before he could hide his work she saw a name: Midna. He hadn't been flustered and he hadn't gotten angry, he got his pages, put them inside his clothes and calmly asked what was wrong. She hadn't been able to say anything about them, nothing about her worries, and a perfect chance to talk slipped past and they walked in silence to her house to have lunch.
In the feast after his return, he told everyone of his trials, of his adventures, about yetis in snowpeak, and ancient beings called Occa, about Telma and a group he called friends that had helped him gather clues to stop the menace that had threatened the kingdom, about Prince Ralis - at which point the kids started to give their own version of the story - and about Princess Zelda.
Illia could feel secrets swirling around them, his eyes were haunted with them, and he would look and not speak for a few seconds and then smile and keep on talking about something else. She couldn't be sure if everyone noticed and decided to respect his silence, or if they just couldn't see the way his eyes shone at times, or the way his eyebrows rose on their own, his hands would try to grab things that were not there, his smile was sometimes not directed at them, sometimes she wasn't sure he was seeing them at all. But she didn't know, and the one time she had asked her father about it, he had snorted and told her he had no idea what she was talking about, but he, too, had a glint on his eyes that resembled Link's.
She had nothing but a feeling, and as such she tried to talk about it with Link. He was never alone, though; mornings were spent training, and cleaning and playing with the children; lunch was at Uli's or anybody else that had invited him; afternoons were spent with Rusl or Bo or helping people out; dinner was at Uli's and then he would talk to her, a lot. He usually left when Uli had gone to bed, and from there he went back to his house. Illia was already in bed at that point.
The next time Fado asked for Link's help she was there. He had a way with animals, as she had witnessed since they were kids in his relationship with Epona, and the sheep too, looked as if they could understand everything he said, to say that she was envious would be an understatement.
"Mind if I make you company?"
"You're always welcome to come sit with me," he was sitting in a slope, a Hawk's grass hanging from the corner of his mouth.
"Solitude seemed more your thing, these last days."
He shrugged, he was about to tell her about how his time was spent with people, and that he had actually been avoiding solitude, but the words died on his mouth because that was not what she meant.
"You've always been an exception."
"Would you've been comfortable enough to write those letters in my company?"
He had been sending letters daily half-way his stay, it helped him cope with... whatever we was coping with, actually. They were all for Zelda, even the ones that started with Midna's name, he felt she was the only one that could understand.
"Maybe you could've helped me word them better," he smiled, but Illia just couldn't. His carefree attitude, which she had loved, now was terrifying.
"Who is Midna?"
Link sighed, "A friend, a good friend of mine." He glanced at her, "Wasn't aware that snooping around was your thing."
He didn't feel offended, but he was decidedly uncomfortable. He struggled with that. This was Illia, his best friend since... forever.
"It kind of became my thing when you closed off like a clamp."
He winced. He deserved that. He hadn't been avoiding her on purpose, but he did breath easier when she stopped looking at him for answers. He really didn't have the right to feel hurt.
Link raised an eyebrow, laughed, "Now that's more like the Illia I know."
She didn't appreciate his humor, "Can't say the same."
Link knew, knew somewhere inside him should hurt, should be hurting right now at this jab she had just made, but he couldn't for the life of him be pissed, or hurt, he wasn't even ashamed. He felt tired, tired and sorry.
"Yeah," he shook his head, a boyish gesture that made his hair sway, and that to Illia had been the epitome of lovely, in what felt a lifetime ago, "sorry about that."
Illia pouted, "That's it?"
Link took the Hawk's grass out of his mouth, rolled it between his fingers, adjusted his legs, positioned his arms on his knees, played with the Hawk's grass some more and finally sighed.
He shrugged, shook his head.
"I... I don't know- I just... I'm sorry," he glanced at her, gave her a half-smile, "I don't want to hurt you, but I really don't..." he gestured, "I really don't know how to deal with... with..." he gave up.
Illia remained silent, Link looked at the sheep.
"This isn't fair to you."
Illia snorted, and then mumbled, "Yup, it is unfair to strip me from my best friend without me knowing why."
And in the same way that she knew he was having trouble, so did he know that she was hurting. He was hurting her, and that, that did hurt.
"I'm sorry, Illia."
"I'm not looking to make you feel bad, Link. At all."
A couple of sheep bleated.
"Thanks for not giving me up, you know, back when I lost my memory."
"There's no need to thank me, we're best friends, Illia." After a moment he added, "Even though it may not feel like that to you."
Illia bit her lip, he was being so frustrating.
"What are you so scared of?"
Link looked puzzled.
"Is it coming to the realisation that you may want to have time to yourself such a shock? That maybe you don't want everyone to know what happened to you? That maybe, you want to have your secrets secret even to your so called best friend?"
Link rised an eyebrow.
"But you want to kno-"
Illia sighed exasperated, "I was aiming more at making you speak, about whatever, but you weren't, about anything, so I may or may not have gotten a little bit angry."
Link had his brows hunched.
"What I'm trying to get at, Link, is that I want you to be comfortable with me to talk," she raised her hands, "or not! I don't care, whatever helps you." She looked accusingly, "What I want is for you to be fine, and I don't know if the villagers just don't see it, or have decided in a weird pact, to which I was not invited, to let you be, but you are not."
She stressed the last words.
"And it hurts to see you hurting."
He could be really oblivious, sometimes. He looked at her, Illia held his gaze.
"There are things that I won't tell you."
Illia looked amused, "Fine, secret boy."
Link huffed.
"I don't expect you to tell me everything, Link, but for the love of Hylia don't shut me off."
Link looked offended, "I did not."
She waved him off, "I meant, don't look so uncomfortable around me, you don't want me to pry, I won't, but, you know, don't let this drift us apart."
She remained silent, nodded to herself, and clapped her hands, ready to leave.
"Illia," Link called, he looked deep in thought, "sorry," she was about to scold him, but then he broke into a grin, "and thank you."
She stood then, and he followed. Link looked pensive, and then said.
"Do you have nightmares about your kidnapping?"
Illia bit her lip, she didn't want to make him feel guilty, because even though she knew that he had no blame, he was sure to put it on himself. But they were also trying to put things straight, which meant lying was not an option.
"Yeah, sometimes, It's still pretty fresh, you know?"
He nodded, and Illia smiled.
"You know It's not your fault, right? You saved us."
Link made a face, it was still difficult for him to believe it.
"I have nightmares too," he confessed, "they started on my journeys and now, well, they aren't going away."
He grimaced, like admitting to such a thing made him uncomfortable.
"You've seen me talking to Uli, right?"
Illia nodded.
"I've been talking to Uli about us, about the kids, about every good memory I have recollection of. I've been trying to remember the good old times, you know, see if they can win over."
Illia squeezed her hands, "How's it gone?"
He made a face, "Uli says that I have to be patient, give it more time."
She gave him a thin lipped smile, "She's right."
He huffed and looked sad. Illia pondered.
"You've changed."
He flinched, looked away, and meekly said, "So has everyone told me."
Illia put a hand on his shoulder, "And why are you looking ashamed? It's not like It's bad, people change when things change, and things have changed enormously for you, it's obvious you would."
Link looked unconvinced, but smiled.
"It's not bad, Link."
But it sure as hell was painful.