"A Strange Bond"
Note: Robert decides to butt in where he doesn't belong. But is his advice really that bad? I haven't really gone into Robert's past or his dating life, and I probably won't delve too deeply in these matters, but I thought it would be fun (and/or funny) if he decided to give TF some pointers for getting out of the 'friendzone'! Just a little disclaimer, I wouldn't recommend that anyone should do this, but Robert...is Robert. XD 'Marty Gots A Plan' by Kevin MacLeod for this one.
"Chapter 12: Unsolicited Advice"
February 13th
As Valentine's Day loomed right around the corner, neither Alpha nor the Tooth Fairy knew how nervous the other was becoming.
For Alpha's part, the implications of going out with a male friend on this particular holiday weren't lost on her, and she wasn't entirely sure what she wanted this to turn into. She didn't want to lead him on and end up hurting him somewhere down the line if some sort of deal breaker came up. There was still plenty about her that he did not know, and not all of it was pleasant. She still hadn't mentioned her two mates after Alexander, and she wasn't sure if that would matter to him or not. She also wasn't sure if it was too soon to pursue something with him, since he was just coming out of such a vulnerable state. Would acting on her interest do more harm than good?
She was in her human form as she came out of one of the movie rooms in the theater/community center, stuffing a used hankie back into her pocket as she took out her cell phone. All around her, small children were playing with the toys and games, or making up games of their own while a handful of adults supervised. There was a piercing cry, and someone called her from across the room. "What is it?"
A little Goblin boy answered, raising his voice to be heard above a five-year-old Witch's angry wails. "Alpha, Cynthia webbed Stella again!"
A little girl who looked like an amalgamation of a human child and a spider (while still managing to be cute and childlike) loudly shot back, "She was askin' for it! She stole my blue crayon!"
"I'mmmm stuuuuuuck!"
Alpha saw that several other adults were already trying to untangle Stella, but she set her phone down and went over to deliver a mild scolding. "Cynthia, you know you're not supposed to do that."
"But she stole my crayon!"
"I diiiid noooooot!"
"Hush, lass, we'll have ye untangled in a minute. Cynthia, don't you go anywhere. I'll have the whole story out o' both of ye, so I will."
The Goblin boy grinned, showing a row of pointed teeth. "Ooooh, Cynthia's in trooouuuubllllleeeee!"
"Shut up, Tristan!" Cynthia clenched all six of her fists.
"Pbbbbt!"
"Cynthia, that isn't nice...You stop that, Tristan." Alpha told him, turning him gently towards the toys. "Mind yer P's and Q's and go play with the toys for now."
"Okay, Alpha," Tristan began to wander over to the toys, but he turned to make a face at Cynthia as soon as Alpha's back was turned.
"And none o' that, either," Alpha warned without turning around, her voice was taking on a bit of an edge now; she meant business. The children immediately grew very well-behaved, which surprised her a little. This was unusual, and she'd only noticed this trend in the last six months or so.
Putting her phone down was a mistake.
Tooth Fairy's concerns were a little different. He wasn't sure what he wanted out of this either; in this, he and Alpha were on the same page. All he knew for sure was that he wanted to spend as much of his free time with her as possible, and this had come on rather quickly. He remembered what she'd said about the differences between infatuation and love, and he thought that, with her, he had experienced both feelings in rapid succession. He also thought that she was flirting back, but was that just playfulness on her part? Was this happening too fast? And if he made a real move too soon, would he scare her off?
It occurred to Tooth Fairy that, if they were heading towards a romantic relationship, they had done a lot of things out of order. For one thing, they hadn't kissed, or even gone on a confirmed date, but there was a lot of chaste physical contact and they had shared a bed. On the other hand, he had been sick, and neither of them had overtly expressed any romantic interest at the time. It was just as she had said; friends bunking together. The next morning notwithstanding...but that had been one-sided, he was pretty sure!
He was positive that she loved him; after all, they hugged all the time, and he noticed that she didn't seem to hug her other friends as tightly or as often. It was obvious. But he wasn't sure what kind of love it was. Would tomorrow's outing be a 'date-date', or just another one of their 'friendship dates'? Maybe he could turn it into an actual date...but he still wasn't sure he was stable enough to deal with a rejection right now. He didn't want to go through that, and he didn't want to put her in a position where she might have to make him. This not knowing, though! It was driving him crazy.
Maybe he should ask Santa and Carol if they wanted to join them for some 'couples bowling', sort of to keep things on an even keel for now. Actually, that might not be such a bad idea! He thought that Alpha and Carol might get along famously, if they got to know each other well enough. They were both good women, and Alpha had been instrumental in bringing Buddy home safe. Still, this would undoubtedly change the tone of their outing, and he didn't know if Alpha had her heart set on it just being the two of them or not. "Hm...better check with Alpha first..."
He took out his cell and dialed Alpha's number, but he got an unwelcome surprise.
"Hey, 'wingman', what's up?" A male voice greeted him.
"What?" Tooth Fairy checked to make sure he'd called the right number, and he had. He frowned, irritated. "Who's this? Why do you have Alpha's phone?"
"Aw, you don't remember me? It's Robert! I just saw you less than two weeks ago."
Tooth Fairy closed his eyes and breathed in deeply through his nose. "My question still has not been answered here. Why do you have her phone?"
Robert laughed. "Well, you see, Alpha made a rookie mistake a few minutes ago. She had her phone out, probably to call or text you, unless I miss my guess. Someone called her over, and instead of putting her phone in her pocket she set it down on a table. And I got it."
"Wellllllll," Tooth fairy drawled with exaggerated patience, "give it back."
"Not so fast," Robert was obviously enjoying this. "I actually wanted to talk to you, and I have no way to get in touch with you."
"Talk about what?" Tooth Fairy felt his irritation turning into resignation. He knew about Robert's little pranks, and he also knew that they were generally harmless.
"Come to The Hollow, and meet me on...hm. Let's say, my roof. You know, where you first eavesdropped on us. Oh, just so you know, I'mma turn off the phone and stash it somewhere you can't find it, so don't bother frisking me for it and bolting." There was a smile in his voice as he said this.
This was very nearly what Tooth Fairy was planning to do, and he felt his pulse throb in his temples as he began to grow angry. "Fine. You do know I'm only doing this so she'll get her property back, right?"
"Duh, why do you think I said I'd hide it? I'm not your favorite person, so why would you listen to me without a little incentive? Later, tater!" Robert ended the call.
"Bicuspids..." Tooth Fairy hissed as he put his cell away. He saw no way out of this, so he mentally prepared himself for whatever nonsense was in store.
Robert's hair was green this time, and he held a lit cigarette between two fingers as the Tooth Fairy landed ten feet away from him on the roof.
"You know those things are terrible for you, right?" Tooth Fairy pointed at the smoke.
"Nah...I'm already undead, so what could it do to me?" Robert snuffed it out.
Done with mincing words, Tooth Fairy folded his arms and stood at his full height. "What do you want, Robert?"
"I wanted to ask about you and Alpha."
Tooth Fairy shook his head. "Nope."
"Then no phone."
There was a short stand-off where neither man said a word, then Tooth Fairy snorted and shook his head. "Specify."
"Okay, so, today I heard her talking to Punky, and she said she'll be gone for a good part of the day tomorrow. Said you two were going bowling. She didn't mention the holiday, but come on. We might not celebrate Valentine's Day here or know much about it, but most of us know what day it falls on. So, what I wanna know is, is it a date or just a coincidence?" He lit up another smoke.
Tooth Fairy's face changed color, both from anger and embarrassment. "That's none of your business."
"I'm making it my business. Because you've got no game whatsoever, and between you and me, I think she has a bit of a thing for ya." Robert blew smoke through his nostrils.
Curling his now-glowing hands into fists, Tooth Fairy glowered at the smirking Vampire. "The phone. Now."
"Uhhh, no." Robert gave the Tooth Fairy's glowing hands an almost sleepy look. "Gonna kick my ass, now?"
The Fairy's nostrils flared, but he mostly kept his cool. "This is involuntary, because I'm getting a bit hacked off now, but you're really trying my patience. Why are you being so nosy?"
Robert tapped ash off his cigarette. "Okay...a blind fool could see that you two have a thing for each other, even though you're both kinda dancing around the subject. I'mma be real with you here...you and your buddies did us a huge solid a couple weeks ago. Think of it as...the good you do coming back to you. I'm not messin' with ya this time. My big question to you is, would you like to get out of the 'friendzone'?"
Tooth Fairy had angled his body a bit so that his feet pointed away from Robert, ready to take off at any moment. It was a shame about Alpha's phone, but he supposed she could have another one made. "Goodbye, Robert."
"You're making a big mistake," Robert dropped his smoke and crushed it. "I'm not asking you for information now; I'm offering advice. If your answer to my last question is 'yes', I've had experience there, and I can give you some pointers."
Tooth Fairy knew he should just leave, maybe after hurling a few inventive insults, but a small voice in the back of his head compelled him to stay. It wasn't as if he had to take Robert's advice. And if he honored Robert's terms, he might still get Alpha's phone back, and she wouldn't have to get another one. He sighed, turning fully towards Robert once more and folding his arms. "It is out of sheer, morbid curiosity that I'm still here. Make it quick."
Gotcha, Robert thought, grinning widely. "Okay. The thing you gotta know about Alpha is, if she's in it, she's in it. And I mean for the long haul, sort of a 'till death do us part' kinda thing, so she's gonna wanna take things kinda slow, just to make sure."
I can't believe I'm listening to this dummy, Tooth Fairy scolded himself. Still, he filed away this information for later review. "Uh-huh..."
"But if you are interested, you don't wanna wait around, all passive, waiting for her to make a move. She very well might at some point, but you'll have a long wait. So, if you like her, you should tell her."
"Shouldn't it be her choice?" Tooth Fairy asked, then mentally kicked himself. He wasn't supposed to be giving feedback!
"It'll still be her choice, man. You'll just know a lot sooner, that's all." Robert wasn't teasing, as might have otherwise been expected.
Tooth Fairy snorted, a scenario flashing through his mind. Him confessing his feelings to Alpha, and her bursting into laughter, either because she isn't interested or because she thinks he's kidding. If that happened, it would crush him! But even if her answer was no, she wouldn't do that...right? "Supposing she says no?"
"Yeah, that'll suck. But at least you'll know. And besides, she's turned down a couple guys since I first met her, and she was real nice about it. She's not one to step on the feels, bro."
'The feels'? Is that new slang, or something? Then Tooth Fairy's mouth ran away with him again. "Were you one of 'em?"
"Pff, nah," Robert waved a hand. "Not my type. I prefer blondes."
"'Kay..." Tooth Fairy shifted uncomfortably, wondering how long this would continue. "You done?"
"Not quite," Robert stepped a bit closer, tossing his hair out of his eyes. "Say things go well, and she likes ya back, she'll probably wanna kiss ya. Quick, think fast! Eyes open or shut?"
Tooth Fairy was glad of the red street lamps, because he felt quite sure that his face was nearly the same color. "Uhh, sh-shut?"
"Right!" Robert snapped his fingers, "Because the last thing you want is for her to crack one eye open to peek, and have you be there like this!" He put a hand over his mouth and opened his eyes wide; Tooth Fairy actually snickered at that, and he continued. "You don't want her to think she's on a date with a serial killer."
Shaking his head, Tooth Fairy uncrossed his arms. So far, Robert's advice seemed both sound and logical. In fact, it was pretty much common sense...which he himself probably wouldn't have clued in on in the moment.
"Ever kissed a girl before?" Robert asked.
"None of your business."
Robert nodded. "I'll take that as a no. You're gonna want to avoid 'wet and sloppy'; it's gross if you start in with that."
Tooth Fairy turned to leave again. He was getting really uncomfortable with this. And how would Alpha react if she knew about this?
"I know, that's not something you wanna talk about. That's all I was gonna say. But here's how you'll know if she wants to, because if I know her, kissing someone isn't something she'd just up and do." Robert said to Tooth Fairy's retreating back, and the man stopped again.
"Think about wrapping things up. And then tell me where her phone is," Tooth Fairy said, a trifle coldly.
"Right. What she'll probably do is, she'll move her face in close. Then she'll stop a few inches away, and her eyes will flick down to your mouth and then back up again. That's both an invitation to you, and a request for permission. Then it's your move. Or...you can be the one to lean in, if you're feeling brave." Robert put his hand in his pocket, and Tooth Fairy thought he was going for another cigarette. Instead, he brought out Alpha's cell. He hadn't hidden it after all.
Tooth Fairy made a beeline for Robert, but the Vampire held up a hand.
"One more thing."
"What?" Tooth Fairy put his fists on his hips.
"Take everything I said just now with a grain of salt. I'm not messing with you, but every girl's different, and I'm just going by what I've seen and heard from her in the past. Here." He handed over the phone.
Tooth Fairy stowed the phone safely in his pocket and stuck a finger in Robert's face. "Don't ever do this again, you hear me?"
"I won't." Robert wasn't at all afraid; Tooth Fairy's hands weren't glowing, and it was obvious that the man had been taking mental notes in spite of himself. "Alpha isn't likely to make this mistake again, and this was a one-time thing. What you do with it is up to you."
Tooth Fairy shook his head, turned to go, then turned back to ask a question of his own. "You got a girlfriend?"
Robert clicked his tongue. "Nope."
"Then how do I know your advice is good?"
The Vampire walked to the edge of the roof and prepared to transform. "Hey, I said I'm good at getting girls, I never said I was any good at keeping them. And if you wanna find Alpha, she's at the theater. I'm heading there too, so you can just follow me. Or not. I don't care."
Tooth Fairy rubbed a hand down his face and gave a rumbling groan before fluttering off to return Alpha's property.
Tooth Fairy arrived a few minutes after Robert did, and he pointedly ignored the Vampire as he approached Alpha. It seemed like she'd just broken up a squabble between some of the children there, but all was well again...except he saw that her eyes were red. His smile immediately faded, and concern took over. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," Alpha looked confused by his question as they exchanged their usual hug. "Why?"
He lowered his voice, not wanting to embarrass her by calling attention to it in a public setting. "Well, you look like you've either been crying or had a sneezing fit."
"Oh!" Alpha smiled and shook her head. "No, I'm fine, really. I just made a big mistake and watched 'Marley & Me'."
"Ooh..." Tooth Fairy winced in sympathy. He had enjoyed the movie, but that ending was a real punch to the gut! He had managed to keep it all in, but he definitely understood why she hadn't.
Robert smacked his own forehead and scolded her. "Oh, you moron!"
This earned Robert a nasty look from Tooth Fairy, but since Alpha didn't seem to mind he kept his mouth shut.
"I know!" she chuckled a bit sheepishly. "And I saw it once before, as well."
"Why do you do that to yourself?" Robert shook his head.
"A challenge of sorts. I wanted to see if I could make it through without breaking. Obviously, I could not." Alpha shrugged and turned back to the Tooth Fairy. "What brings ye? Did you want to join us for a movie?"
"I just wanted to return this," Tooth Fairy held out her cell phone.
"Wh...how?" Alpha gave him a confused look, which became a frown when he pointed at Robert. She checked the phone to make sure none of the settings had been messed with, then put it away and turned to the Vampire. "Robert, how old are ye now?"
Robert, who didn't look a day over eighteen, gave a careless shrug. "Thirty-nine."
"Well, if ye want tae see a nice ripe forty, ye'll keep yer hands tae yerself," Alpha noticed once more that several of the children paused to look somewhat warily at her, and she wiped the angry look from her face.
Alpha and Tooth Fairy then moved off for some privacy, and she lowered her voice. "What was his game this time?"
Uh-oh.
Tooth Fairy rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh, he was just being nosy. Listen, I wanted to ask you something."
"All right."
"Well...I was thinking," he hesitated, suddenly nervous once more, and for a different reason. Supposing she did want it to be just the two of them tomorrow? Would his idea to invite Santa and Carol along be seen in a bad light? He realized he had stopped speaking when she frowned a little.
"You were thinking...?" she prompted.
His heart pounding, he babbled out, "Right! Sorry, um...I had this idea, and you can say no if you want to, but...would you want to double up with Santa and Carol tomorrow, if they wanna go? See, I've been bowling before, and I think I'm pretty good, and you haven't, and I don't wanna...I mean, not that you wouldn't be quick to pick it up, that's not what I'm saying, but I thought we could compete as a team, and maybe...that is...uhhh...I'm lost. I dunno what I'm-"
Alpha smiled and put her hand over his mouth. Bless him, he was so nervous all of a sudden! Poor fellow. In a way, it was kind of cute. In the background, Robert did a loud face-palm, but they didn't notice. "Take a breath, Roy."
She removed her hand, and he did so. "Sorry..."
"I think it sounds like fun."
"I...really?" he smiled, clearly relieved.
"Aye," she nodded, hooking her thumbs in the pockets of her blue jeans. "I've been wanting to get to know them a little better, and I just haven't had the time. Besides, I like the idea of playing on your team, instead of against ye. I just hope I won't make ye lose!"
They both chuckled at this, and he shook his head. "I'm not worried about winning. The point is to have fun, right?"
Robert chimed in. "Nah, winning totally rocks."
They shot him identical warning frowns, then Tooth Fairy got out his cell phone. "Well, great. I'll just go ahead and ask 'em. S'cuse me a minute." He gave her arm a light brush with his hand and moved off.
"All right, then," Alpha agreed, turning aside to pick up one of the toddlers who was tugging on her hand and holding up her arms to be held. "Hi there, Emma!"
Robert snickered as Tooth Fairy passed him. "Smooth as a gravel pit..."
"Buzz off..."