"The Cold, Hard Truth"
Syaoran gazed into the captivating emerald eyes that had been occupying his mind the entire day. What was he even thinking coming here tonight?
He had needed another release, but he had not been able to drop by here in a good while to pick up a woman.
There was no way that he could ask another one of his employees to get him off again. He had previously used three different women at the hospital and he could not bring himself to do anymore. Word would have gotten around that he slept with all of them in one day and that was the last thing that he wanted to happen in his hospital. When that happened, things got a bit messy.
That was only one of the reasons he came here tonight. The main reason was mostly the fact that his buddy had somehow convinced him to go home early for the night, due to his poor performance in the hospital all day.
He had never slacked on the job before, but it was something about today that set him off about everything. He had already known what that something was all along though. It was the psychologist that he had seen over 12 hours ago and he was beginning to think that he was slowly going mad.
He slacked on the job. That was definitely not who Li Syaoran was. He was to try to be perfect in everything he did in that hospital. He was the leader—the head of the place, so he had to remain as the standards that people held for him.
He sighed and glanced down at the clock on his arm. He was used to being at the hospital at this time, but he had let the man convince him to leave to clear his mind of some things. And he ran into the one thing that he was trying not to think about—her.
He had one job. One job to clear his mind from the little devil and he ran straight into that one person he was trying not to think about. But here she was, in that hot little outfit, looking just as shocked as he was across the club from him.
Screw the not wanting to see her part anymore though.
He strolled over to her in large steps, failing to notice the other woman beside her.
"Surprise seeing you here," he said smoothly, pleased by her uncomfortable shifting in front of him.
"Right," she said under her breath awkwardly, but he read her lips like they were his favorite novel, sucking in the one word they articulated.
"Hello, Dr. Li," another voice said, snapping him out of his trans with the woman.
He turned to the amethyst-eyed woman beside Sakura and gave her a small smile, recognizing her from a week ago. "Hello," he nodded towards her.
"Would you mind if..." he pointed to Sakura, "I borrowed your friend for a bit?" He gave her a charming smile, causing Tomoyo to blush a little.
She turned to Sakura, giving her a questioning look. "Sakura?"
Sakura gave her a small, reassuring smile. "Yeah, it's fine."
"Alright, I'll be over there then," she pointed to a different section before giving them their privacy.
Syaoran scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "Uh...you want a drink?"
"No thank you," she said formally.
"Would it be too much to ask for a dance then?" he asked, taking his chances while he could.
"Mr. Li," she started.
He took a step towards her and she automatically moved back, appearing as though his presence was not welcomed by her.
His fists clenched as he began to feel annoyed with her. Why the hell was she making this so hard for him? Could she not see how much he wanted her?
He knew exactly what it was though. She had repeatedly reminded him earlier, despite him not giving a damn about that rule with her occupation.
"We aren't in a session now, so there is nothing wrong with one dance—or a drink."
She wrapped her arms around herself, looking a bit uncomfortable. "I told you that...that can't happen, Mr. Li. You are now my patient, and that is as far as this whole ordeal will get."
He moved towards her again, closing the gap between them. "I'm not paying you right now, am I? We are outside of your practice and there is nothing wrong going on here."
She moved back from him again and pursed her lips. "Have a good night, Mr. Li."
She made a move to turn around and leave him, but his hand shot out to grab her arm reflexively.
"Wait..." he almost pleaded.
He really needed her in his bed tonight. It was now or never because he was almost sure that he would go mad if he did not have the woman tonight.
"Mr. Li—"
"Drop the formalities when we aren't in a session together. This is...just..." he stopped and dropped his head, realizing how pathetic he was sounding just to get a feel of her lady parts.
"Mr. Li, have a good night," she attempted to pull her arm from his grip, but it only tightened automatically.
He immediately let it go and felt ashamed of his behavior.
Two weeks ago, he would have never thought that he would try and force himself on a woman. In fact, he never would, but it was different with her. Everything was different with her, and that made him extremely uncomfortable. She made him feel too many different emotions all in one setting, which was not in his demeanor.
Maybe he was turning out to be a bit crazy.
Deciding that he was being a bit irrational, he sighed and shook his head. He would have to take another approach to this instead of being aggressive with her because it clearly was not working.
"I...am acting a bit unreasonable, I know that, so please try to understand that I'm not trying to be..." he stopped and compressed his nails into the palm of his fingers tightly.
What was he doing?
He was being pathetic, is what.
"Can we just talk then?" he asked instead while looking at her hopefully.
She let out a soft sigh and glanced around the club at all the adults.
"T-talk me out of going home with some random woman here tonight or something. That is the reason I am here," he said, hoping that she would buy this since she had already jumped to the conclusion that he was an addict.
Plus, she was a psychologist. These were the people who put up that facade that they cared about the well-being of other people's problems, so if she played the role correctly, she would tell him okay. She would 'talk' him out of going home with some whore tonight out of pity, further proving his point about these people.
She remained quiet though, allowing not a single sound to escape her lips, which only caused him to become infuriated with her.
He scoffed and glared at her. "Do I have to pay you to talk to me outside of your practice too? Damn, you psychologists really are greedy sons of bitches."
The next thing that Syaoran felt was something that he had not felt in ages. A sting that was so familiar, yet so foreign to his cheek by a feminine hand.
She had slapped him. Possibly with all her strength too, considering the sizzling sensation on his cheek.
"We are not in a session, Li. You have one thing right here, so I in no way have to show you any kind of respect. You will respect me though."
Syaoran opened his mouth to retort, but she held a hand up, silencing him like he had done to her earlier.
"If you want any kind of help from me, you will treat me like I am a person and stop defining me by my occupation. Is that understood?"
His mouth opened again, ready to speak, but not a single coherent word or sentence came to mind.
"The 5th is the only day that you can come in and I will keep that day cleared specifically for you. It is up to you, whether or not you want to come, but I will not let you disrespect me any further than you already have."
She gently pulled her arm from his grasp on her and gave a warming smile. "Have a good night, Li-san." With that, she walked away, leaving him too stunned to even stop her.
Had she really just told him off like that—slapped him in front of all these people even? He knew that there was only so much a person could take, but she did not even look capable of defending herself.
No woman had ever blatantly rejected him like that, aside from the one woman he did not think about anymore.
How could the people who were considered to be the most caring and compassionate ones, create an emotional mess that made him feel like the worst person that walked the earth?
This was all wrong.
He looked around the place to see if there was any attention on him after being humiliated by that woman. Thank goodness the area was not crowded with people or he probably would have been. Still, it was all wrong though.
His fists clenched as he closed his eyes tightly, willing the feelings of rejection and shame to wash away, but it was not working.
He opened his eyes and looked around the bar section to see Sakura sitting with her friend, talking and laughing about God knows what with the bartender.
Why was she so happy after their encounter while he was over here feeling like shit? How could she?
Deciding that he had enough, his eyes drifted over to a woman not too far from Sakura and her friend, sitting alone at the bar counter. It was perfect.
The girl had long, blonde hair and doe-like eyes that almost resembled the same innocence that Sakura held. She looked quiet and innocent enough to keep her trap closed about the night he would give her.
He walked over to the bar section and sat by the woman, feeling thrilled when his skin could sense the emerald orbs on him. He wanted her to see this, make her feel bad even for not talking him out of this. Simply for his pleasure too. He needed this—his medicine.
"Rough night?" he asked the blonde beside him.
She turned to him, appearing a bit surprised that she had caught the attention of a handsome fellow. "You have no idea," the woman said eyeing him a bit hungrily.
He inwardly groaned. She looked better, not trying.
"Order up then, it's on me," he said smoothly, giving her one of his charming smiles.
A dark blush tainted her cheeks before she ordered a drink.
"You know, it's a shame when I see pretty women sitting by themselves at places like this." He let his hand drop down to her bare thigh gently.
"R-really?" she stuttered, looking at him shyly.
"Yes. It's a wonder why one of the men in here haven't swept you off your feet and brought you back to their place yet."
He felt thrilled when he saw her blush deepen before he let his hand slide up her smooth thigh a little.
"Maybe it's because I was waiting for someone like you to sweep me off my feet and bring me home," she said flirtatiously.
Now this was what he needed. Someone willing to accept him with opened-arms, make him feel secure.
"We should call it a night, Tomoyo." He overheard Sakura say to her friend and he could not stop the smirk from creeping to his lips.
It served her right for not talking him out of this like he had asked her to. He hoped that she missed out on sleep tonight because she felt bad about not helping the poor 'addict.'
"Why don't we get out of here then?" Syaoran suggested, removing his hand from the woman's thigh and grabbing her hand.
She giggled and slid off the stool after he helped her down.
He did not need the psychologist to make him feel secure. He had other women who were willing to do that for him.
Fuck her and the games that she was playing with him.
Syaoran flexed his jaw as he rubbed his bruised cheek, annoyed with his employees running their mouths at the table.
"What's got your panties in a knot, Li?" Dr. Hanaka asked, taking a huge bite out of his sandwich.
"Nothing," Syaoran responded blandly.
"What the hell happened to your face, by the way? I've been meaning to ask you."
One of the other doctors at the table nodded, staring intensely at his face. "Yeah, some chick bitch-slapped you because you tried forcing yourself on her?" he asked jokingly, with a smirk on his face.
Everyone at the table started laughing.
What the hell's so funny?
Syaoran glared at them. "I'd advise all of your asses to shut the fuck up, if you want to keep food on your tables at home."
Everyone froze at the table, except for Dr. Hanaka.
"Shut the fuck up, Li. I don't know what your problem has been lately, but you need to get it together." Dr. Hanaka laughed, looking at everyone to join him, but they remained quiet.
"Come on guys, you can't take the boss too serious."
"Dr. Hanaka, I don't give a shit how long we've known each other. I'll fire your ass in a heartbeat too."
Syaoran pushed his chair back loudly, drawing attention to their table. He picked up his food tray and stormed out of the cafeteria and headed for his office.
He slammed his office door shut, and then threw the tray of food down on the desk, causing the drink to spill over in his food.
Groaning at the mess caused, he ran a frustrated hand through his hair.
What the hell was wrong with him?
He may not have been raised better than this, but he knew better. And better was definitely not behaving this way. He needed to go and apologize for his rude behavior.
His mood had been up and down since last night at that club when the psychologist blatantly rejected him like he was any man. He was beginning to think that he did have a problem, aside from the egocentric side that tried popping its little head out every once in a while like it had just tried. He never treated his employees like that, so why would he start now?
He sighed and sat down in the rolling chair, leaning back on it and closing his eyes. He took a deep breath, and then let it go.
He was going to make this right. Take back the control of his life that he had been losing over the last few weeks now.
He never acted out like a child who could not get what he wanted. He needed to apologize to his employees and then the psychologist, if he wanted to still have a chance with her.
New approach, like he had told himself last night after she rejected him. He would try something different with her that he never tried in the past, which was very annoying.
First, he needed to get it right with his employees though. He almost felt disgusted with himself for using his higher position against them.
Deciding that he could not possibly wait to apologize to them, he stood from the chair and headed back to the cafeteria.
When he arrived, he saw that they were still sitting at the table, chatting amongst each other. He sat back down in the empty chair he had left behind a few minutes ago.
It became quiet the moment he looked at them. It was as if they sensed his presence coming a mile away, which oddly made him feel uncomfortable.
"Look, you guys know that I'm not that guy..." he started off, wondering how he could possibly apologize without saying the word 'sorry.' He almost never used that word to people he associated himself with and he sure as hell would not start now.
"I got you, man," Dr. Hanaka said, grinning at him.
Syaoran sighed in relief, glad that he did not have to give that speech.
"It's cool, doc," the other doctors chimed in, patting him on the back.
Now that, that was over with, he could think about better things.
Like sex.
Shit.
No, not sex. He was testing to see if he did maintain some form of control over his actions when it came to his sex life.
The psychologist had him thinking about it now. The moment he went home with that woman last night, his mind had been replaying the session with the psychologist the entire time and it disturbed him to the utmost.
She had asked him if he had control over his actions and he was sure that he did when he told her yes. There was no way that he could not control his urges, so why was he struggling to control his thoughts about sex now?
"Earth to Li," one of the doctors waved a hand across his face.
Syaoran blinked and turned over to him. "Did you say something?" he asked dumbly.
The table burst into a fit of laughter and his brows knitted together in confusion.
He shook his head and decided to ignore the foolishness. He grabbed one of the nurse's arms who happened to walk by. "Could you go and get me another tray?" he asked and gave her the charming smile he knew worked on every girl. Except one.
She blushed and nodded her head.
"Thank you so much," he said before the nurse left.
"What happened to your food?" Dr. Hanaka asked, looking at him confused.
He shrugged. "I spilled my drink over in the food."
"Man, you really need to get it together. You have been slacking around here lately."
Syaoran's eyes narrowed over at the man before deciding to ignore him. He would not indulge in his tyrannical battles today. Also, because what the man was saying had some truth to it.
It was the sex. It had to be the sex for the reason he was acting so poorly lately. Not just any sex though. The imaginary sex with the psychologist he had been having in his head lately. The thought of mind-blowing, amazing—
"Here you go, Dr. Li." The nurse sat the tray down, interrupting his thoughts.
He looked up at her and smirked. "On-call room in 15 minutes?" he asked quietly.
She smiled at him bashfully and nodded her head mutely before walking off.
He picked up the chopsticks and ate his food in silence, while listening in on the conversation about the latest sports and media news.
After he finished, he was heading to the on-call room to fulfill his need until he realized what he was about to do. The complete opposite of what he had said that he would not do earlier.
Sex.
He stopped in his tracks and closed his eyes for a moment, wondering if he should do this or not. He did not have to do it. It was simply a choice that he was making, which meant that he had control over the situation.
That was right. He was doing this by his own choice, not by his urges.
He continued on his journey to the on-call room to get to that nurse waiting for him.
Standing in front of the door to the on-call room now, made him wonder again.
Did he not just say that he would not think about sex, let alone do it, just to see if he had control over his sex life?
He mentally shook his head from the thoughts, realizing he was just having repetitive thoughts about the same thing.
This would be the last time before the test began. That was it. He would do it one last time before he stopped to see how long he could go without doing it, and if he did have control over the urges.
People always did things one last time before they stopped. It was like saying goodbye to that thing because it was going to be left behind. So in his case, it would be like goodbye sex.
Perfect, glorious, goodbye sex.
After logically reasoning with himself that it was in his control, he opened the door to the on-call room and was delighted to see the nurse there waiting for him.
It was definitely just going to be goodbye sex.
Syaoran sighed as he pulled his scrubs back up his hips after the quickie he just had with one of his doctors at the hospital two weeks later.
This was the 36th goodbye sex he had just performed and he was beginning to think that it was no longer goodbye sex anymore. What should he call it now?
"I'll see you later." He kissed her head lightly before he slipped out of the on-call room, leaving the woman to fix her clothing.
So it was not goodbye sex anymore, if speaking technically. And?
He did not have to stop having sex. Sex was a healthy activity that people should engage in, if they were being safe, of course.
Too bad he had to learn that the hard way some years back when he slept with one of those prostitutes without protection. Now that he thought about it, what the hell was he thinking back then? Sleeping with a prostitute without protection was insane, considering all the men and women they engaged themselves with sexually.
He shivered, thinking back on the day he had gotten himself tested for a sexually transmitted infection.
All the pain and discomfort that he had felt made him swear that he would never engage in any type of oral activities with prostitutes, along with always using protection if he decided to sleep with one.
Another wave of unpleasant chills glided throughout his body at the thought of that horrid memory, reminding him of the treatment he had to do in order to recover from it.
As if his pager sensed him having horrifying memories, it beeped, snapping him out of his thoughts. Looking down at it, he sighed, already knowing that the doctors were attempting to pull on his leg again.
Before he went into the on-call room with that doctor, he had just finished doing an appendectomy on one of his patients, due to an infection, so there was no way that he was being paged to go and perform anything that fast, unless there was another accident in town.
He shook his head, highly doubting that was the case even though it was nothing to doubt when it came to that town. He remained with his first conclusion, that it was probably one of the doctors toying with him again.
Nonetheless, he still headed to the hall that he was being paged to.
When he arrived, there was a chaotic dilemma going on his hospital that he had not expected. There were injured people, doctors trying to tend to wounds, while calming patients down, nurses trying to be of assistance, families looking for their loved ones. What the hell happened while he was away for less than 10 minutes?
"He has to be rushed into surgery, Dr. Li! We can't waste another minute," one of the doctors yelled over the noise, causing Syaoran's head to snap in the direction with confusion written on his face.
Said person was being pushed on the gurney quickly, so Syaoran just nodded to give the okay to the doctors. The only thing he caught a glimpse of was a man with a head full of coffee-colored hair and blood before the sight disappeared from his eyes.
Guilt automatically overtook his being, but he quickly pushed it to the back of his head so he could begin to treat as many of the people's injuries that he could.
While doing this, one of the interns finally explained to him that a car accident had occurred between a school bus that ran a light and another vehicle being the victim of the collision.
He looked around the room at all the young adults. That had explained the dozens of students in the room looking traumatized at the moment, some even wailing.
"W-where's the family? The family of three? Are they okay? Were they brought in? Were there kids? Family—family or just relative family—something. You have to tell me something." Syaoran asked while he continued to stitch up the emotionless teenaged girls' arm that had been split opened by the glass.
He was trying to remain calm, but his conscious kept reminding him that he was having sex during the beginning of this chaotic mess.
"Dr. Li? Are you okay—"
"Answer the damn questions, intern," he almost snapped, but maintained the façade that everything was alright in front of the patients.
"Th-there was a three-year-old girl, I think and the parents. The man who was being rushed into surgery right now is the father—husband in the family. There was internal bleeding in the brain and he's lost a lot of blood and majority of his bones are—"
The rest of her sentence was drowned out by his conscious and the noise that the rowdy, hormonal teenagers, doctors, interns, nurses, assistants—all of his employees, arguing about who should tend to who and what should be done, and it was driving him mad.
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, praying that this would stop his adrenaline from rushing, due to his frustration and anger. But it did not work, so he did the illogical thing. He snapped.
"Shut the hell up!"
The entire room was washed with silence that even a pin could drop and be heard. Everyone looked at him stunned.
"Get these patients parents on the phone like they've been begging you to and stop fighting like lunatics. I need everyone to please, please, please remain calm in order for there to be any structure in this room. Please forgive my forwardness, but remaining calm is the only way to get things done here."
Everyone remained quiet, before he turned to his employees.
"What are you all waiting for? Make a move people!"
And just like that, everyone started to get the job done as he demanded.
He tended to as many injured patients as possible in hopes that it would wash away the guilt that his heart felt.
How could he have been having sex at a time like this? Why could he not suppress the urges a little longer than he had this time?
What the hell was wrong with him?
His questions stopped when his pager beeped in his lab coat.
Was Tomoeda that keen on being in harm's way today?
Syaoran pulled the scrub cap off his head and walked out of the operational room, guilt still evident in his appearance even though no one had noticed.
He had been paged to scrub in on the surgery for the man. The procedure had been more complicated than he thought because they had called him in, which was not always the case in his hospital. He did have the final say in everything of course, but that did not mean that the other doctors would willingly ask him to scrub in.
Now here he was, struggling to tell a woman who might be widowed that her husband could already be possibly dead because he did not know if he would wake up.
Informing her that most of his bones were crushed on his left side had already been a hard task, considering she had just awakened from her own procedure. Now he had to break more bad news to her.
It was horrible. She had begged him to save her husband's life. She had begged him to be her god for just a few hours during the procedure and he tried. He really did try, but now he did not even know the outcome of it. There was not a single clue if the man would wake up, so now he had to figure out how he could tell his wife and break her heart too.
He pushed the door opened, heading to the woman's room to break the news to her before he stopped.
Why did he have to be the one to do this anyway? This man was not even his patient to begin with. The sly doctors did this on purpose when they called him in, making him take over the complicated procedure.
He sighed and shook his head, after realizing that the man had become his patient the moment he scrubbed in. Damn, he sure was acting like a bastard today. He pushed the door opened to the patients room and maintained a neutral face for her sake.
The woman with long, brown hair and eyes glanced up at him hopefully, which only made his face falter before he returned it back to the neutral one.
"Please..." the woman begged weakly. "Please tell me the good first."
His mouth opened, ready to break the news to her, but nothing came out.
"Don't do that, Dr. Li! Patients don't like when a doctor is speechless! Is he dead?" she asked brokenly.
"No," he responded immediately. "But there was a lot of damage done to the cerebellum in his brain, which controls his coordination...with the vertebrae, which helps him stand and balance himself, so I can't tell you how it will be for him when he wakes up."
Her skin turned pale as her face dropped at the news.
"The brain-stem is connected to the areas of the body that helps him have control over his breathing, blood pressure, and consciousness. There was damage done there as well..."
He stared at her horrified face before continuing. "There was also swelling in his brain, leading to increased pressure within his skull, which resulted in a decrease of blood flow. This also leads to unconsciousness."
"So...you're telling me that my husband—the father of my kid, is basically dead?" she whispered as her eyes began to glisten with threatening tears.
"No, I'm telling you that we don't know when he will wake up, but he's not dead. He's just—"
"Dead!" she interjected loudly.
"He's not brain dead, so the chances of him waking are very high. The surgery was a success, but—"
She shook her head in disbelief vigorously. "I asked you to do one thing! One thing Dr. Li and you failed! You failed me and..." she stopped and dropped her head.
"Get out," she said lowly.
"I'm—"
"You killed my husband! Get the hell out of here now!" she yelled as her body shook vigorously.
Deciding not to further upset the woman with his presence, he left the room to give her time to grieve. He sighed and pushed the thoughts and feelings to the back of his mind since it was the only thing a doctor could do when they had failed at saving someone.
Suck it up and move on to save another life.
As cold-hearted and emotionless it sounded, it had helped him over the years being a doctor.
He could just remember the first time that he had lost a patient. He had almost lost his sanity, feeling like the useless piece of human on earth as he used to feel when he were little. It had been the most devastating feeling in the world and way too close to home for him. Extremely close to home, so he did the logical thing.
He had quit the first job that he had and became a homeless man for months, not knowing what to do with his life.
His entire life had always been dedicated to becoming a doctor and he failed the moment he finally reached that goal. Thank God for the amazing people in his life who had helped him recover from the traumatizing event and get his life together, but that did not mean that the feeling of uselessness had washed away. Thus, helping him come up with the motto. 'Suck it up and move on to save another life.'
"Lost a patient?" a voice snapped him out of his thoughts.
He looked in the direction of it and sighed. "Hiiragizawa, I'm really not in the mood for it today—why the hell are you even here?"
Eriol shrugged. "Friends were involved in the accident."
Syaoran's face twisted a bit. "Who?"
"Touya, Nakuru, and Aika Kinomoto."
"Kinomoto?"
"Sakura's brother and his family if that's what you're asking."
Syaoran visibly froze before he shook his head in disbelief. "Is she here now?"
"I'm not even sure if she knows about it yet."
"What do you mean you're not sure if she knows? He's her brother!"
"No one can get in contact with her—"
"Bullshit!" he stormed off from Eriol, not believing a single word that he had said.
There was no way that the man he just performed surgery on was the psychologist's brother. How had this slipped past his ear the entire day he was trying to 'fix' the man?
Her brother.
Her sister-in-law.
Her niece.
How would she react and view him after knowing that they did not know how long her brother would be out? That they were not gods who could save the inevitable and snap their fingers to make things better?
Most of all, why was this suddenly about the approval of her view of him?
"Can I really keep him, sir?" the little girl asked, holding onto the stuffed bunny tightly.
"Of course, he's yours," Syaoran said, giving the three-year-old a warming smile.
She blushed and hugged the animal to her chest tightly. "Thank you so much…" she said shyly with a blank expression on her face.
"When will mommy come back? And where is Daddy?" she asked, looking at him hopefully for answers.
"Mommy has to sleep for a bit before she can come in and see you again," he said reassuringly.
"And Daddy?"
"Daddy is also sleeping, but he may need to sleep a bit longer than Mommy," he tried explaining in a way that she would understand.
"Oh…" she said disappointed before lying back on the bed.
"Are you feeling okay? Anything hurting on you?" he asked, shifting the conversation over to something else before she asked any further questions about her dad.
She pointed to her slightly bruised arm then sucked in her cheeks, looking at him sheepishly like she had done something wrong.
"Only a little," she said immediately.
"How about I get something to treat the small ache then?" he asked.
She nodded mutely before looking down at the bear in her other arm longingly.
Syaoran stood from the small stool by her bed and moved over to the cabinet. It was a miracle that the little girl had barely received any injuries from the accident. The bus had collided with the front of the vehicle on the driver's side. It was a wonder the man was even still alive when they got him here.
He applied the ointment to her arm and glanced at her face to see her staring at nothing in particular.
He felt bad that he could not think of anything to do about the little girl's traumatized state, but he knew that there was nothing he could do. He had expected her to cry, scream, or even panic that she was not aware of her surroundings and that she wanted her parents. She did none of that though. She had been remaining calm the entire time during the whole chaotic events.
He even worried about her emotionless state for a bit, but quickly remembered that people acted different in traumatizing events.
This was the sole reason that he did not work in the pediatrician section of his hospital the most. There was no way that he could sit around and watch kids suffer and die before his own eyes.
After giving her a lollipop and talking with her for a bit longer, Syaoran left to go and check on his other patients to make sure that they were all fine.
The day was finally coming to an end, but there was no way that he would be leaving this hospital tonight. He was not even sure if he would make it to that appointment tomorrow with the psychologist.
He sighed and shook his head for the fifth time that day, realizing how ridiculous he was sounding in his head.
Of course he was going to see the psychologist tomorrow. He needed to. There was no way possible that he could keep going on this path. It was becoming insanely ridiculous now. And it was time. It was time to finally put a stop to his behavior.
He quietly pushed the door opened to the room where Touya occupied. He stopped in his tracks when the first thing he noticed was a head of auburn locks lying on the side of the bed by his patients arm, holding his hand with her own.
His eyes travelled down to the owner of the hair to see that it was the psychologists with her eyes closed tightly with tear streaks on her cheek. She looked so exhausted to the point where he wished that he could do something to ease her weariness. He knew there was no such thing though.
He glanced at the time and blew out a silent breath. It was not even visiting hours, so she had to leave.
Goodness, how was he supposed to wake the beautiful woman up and ask her to leave?
The way her delicate fingers held on to her brothers hand like she would never leave his side with that contorted expression on her face stopped him from waking her. He certainly was not ready to face the woman yet either.
He walked out of the room and closed the door behind himself. When he turned around, he came face to face with Aki, the widowed nurse.
"D-Dr. Li!"
"Akari," He acknowledged her presence, not even glancing in her eyes.
"I was wondering…" she paused and he could feel her looking at him pleadingly.
"Y'—" he stopped, re-collecting his thoughts for a moment.
He wanted to. He really wanted to. He needed it; even his body knew that he needed it because it was ready by the mere thought of the act. There was no way he could do that now though. Not after what happened today.
"I have a few patients that I have to check on…" he said giving her a reassuring look.
She smiled at him and nodded before walking off.
He released the breath that he held in and started walking away from the door before he changed his mind and woke the psychologist up and begged her to fuck him as sick as it sounded.
Sakura forced her body to lift itself from the uncomfortable position on her bed. She lazily looked around her apartment room and yawned. She rubbed her eyes, hoping to get rid of the restlessness she felt. When had that ever helped though?
She sighed before forcing herself out of bed. She walked over to her dresser and opened it before looking up at her reflection.
She cringed at the puffiness around her eyes and the dark circles under them. She really did look like a monster as her brother always called her.
The thought of her brother caused her eyes and nose to burn as the tears welled in her eyes.
She still could not believe that her brother was in the hospital. In a coma. The same man who taunted and teased her about any and everything she did. How was that even possible? It had to be some kind of sick joke that someone was playing on her.
She vigorously wiped the tears from her eyes before they could stream down her pale cheeks. Her brother would not want her shedding any tears for him, so that was the least she could do for him.
Besides, he could wake at any minute now, so there was nothing to worry about.
More tears formed in her eyes at the thought, being reminded that there was also the possibility that he could never wake up. Not any time soon, at least.
She looked away from her horrid reflection in the mirror and picked up undergarments before she went to the bathroom to shower.
After finishing, she slipped on her professional attire and headed out the house, not forgetting her cell phone this time.
She had forgotten her phone at home yesterday, which only resulted in her being the last person to find out about her brother and the accident. Why was she so irresponsible sometimes?
She sighed, shaking her head from the thoughts before she left the house and drove to the hospital.
She visited her brother, then headed to Nakuru's room, hoping that Aika would be there too.
"Auntie Saku!" a cheerful voice beamed the moment Sakura walked in.
"Aika." Sakura stooped down to the floor, opening her arms for the little girl.
Aika ran into her arms and hugged her tightly. "I missed you so, very much!" she said muffled in Sakura's button-down shirt.
"I missed you too." Sakura's eyes met with Nakuru's sad ones who was across the room from her in the bed.
After she pulled back from the little girl, she stood from the floor and grabbed Aika's hand, leading them back over to her mother.
"Nakuru," she said brokenly before hugging the woman tightly, but being sure not to crush her broken bones over the cast.
"Sakura...I...I don't know—what am I supposed to do? I—"
"Shh…stay strong for Aika's sake, right now," Sakura whispered in her ear.
She nodded and pulled back from the hug. She gave Sakura a forced smile before Aika climbed back on the bed beside her.
"What are you guys doing in Tomoeda, by the way? You didn't even call or leave a text."
Nakuru smiled sadly and shrugged her shoulder. "Surprise!"
Sakura smiled as the familiar burn formed in the back of her eyes again that morning. "You guys were coming to see me?" she almost whispered in disbelief.
"Yeah. It's almost been a year since we last got together."
"Oh, Nakuru..." she said with a sad smile. All of their lives had gotten so busy over the months that they could barely find time for each other anymore.
"It was Touya's idea," she said, sighing.
"Daddy is sleeping for a very long time," Aika said looking at the closed door in the room.
"He'll wake up soon, sweetie," Nakuru said reassuringly.
"The nice sir told me that too," Aika said as a small smile formed on her lips.
"He also gave me Mr. Rabbit," she held up a stuffed animal to Sakura with a grin on her face.
"That was very kind of him." Sakura smiled at her a little.
"Oh, Sakura. You know I'm not a bad person, right?" Nakuru said, suddenly turning to Sakura.
"Of course not. Why would you ask something like that?"
"Because I snapped on Dr. Li after he broke the news to me. I blamed him for Touya's condition, Sakura. I feel terrible about it!" She burst into tears and grabbed Sakura, hugging her tightly with her perfect arm.
Sakura's eyes softened and she wrapped her arms around the woman comforting.
"You're not a terrible person, Nakuru. You were only talking out of your emotions."
She pulled the older woman back so she could look up at her. "Now stop crying. Aika's going to start worrying about you, which will only cause more distress for the both of you. Me included."
"Okay...you're right. I'm an emotional wreck, aren't I?" She laughed without any trace of humor.
Sakura smiled sadly and smoothed the woman's hair down. "Yes you are. Now get it together for all of our sakes."
"You're right. I can..."
"Apologize to Dr. Li and tell him that you didn't mean it," Sakura instructed.
She smiled sadly, nodding her head. "Okay—"
"Sincerely," Sakura added with a similar smile.
"Sincerely..."
A comfortable silence followed after that none of them seemed to care about.
"Don't you have patients today? You don't have to sit in this depressing hole, trust me." Nakuru broke the comfortable silence between them.
A sad smile formed on Sakura's lips. "You guys are here, so that automatically makes this less depressing than what you're perceiving it to be," she said quietly.
"You do, don't you?" Nakuru asked again.
Sakura sighed. "Yes, but that doesn't mean that I don't want to be here with you guys."
"Sakura, what's wrong? It's very unlike you to stall to get to a patient."
"I'm not stalling. What's wrong with wanting to be with you guys? I haven't seen you guys in almost a year and then this happens..." she trailed off.
"Well, we will be right here when you're finished with your sessions." Nakuru gave her a pointed look.
She sighed again and dropped her head. "You're right and I'm sorry. It's just, I have a difficult patient who isn't cooperating. In fact, I don't even know if he will show up today. That's why I'm not really rushing to get in."
Now that she thought about it, the man had never gotten around to telling her if he would show or not. Quite frankly, she did not necessarily even want him to show.
She had told him that she would leave her schedule clear for him two weeks ago on this day and he probably never even thought about it once.
She groaned out loud, thinking about how terrible her mind was sounding.
One part of her wanted him to show, while the other dreaded his behavior that he was bound to act out on her. That last part only made her not want him to come in today.
"Come here," she held her arm out for her. Sakura went into her welcoming arms and smiled. "Has a hard patient ever bothered you this much before? The Sakura that I know never let a patient's behavior stop her from helping them," she said encouragingly.
Sakura sighed, feeling a bit bad for being the one that was being comforted. "I know, but it's different with this one..."
She thought about telling her who the patient was for her to understand, but she knew that was impossible. There was no way that she could risk that. Especially by telling Nakuru because she ran her mouth about everything.
"I don't see how. You've always had a heart to help people."
Sakura's eyes widened. "No, no, no. It's not that I don't want to help them. It's just..." she stopped and sighed.
"I get it. I'm sure you'll figure it out somehow."
Sakura smiled at her for understanding and nodded before pulling back.
"Thank you. I should get going then."
She stood from the bed and looked over at the little girl who had been playing with the stuffed animal the entire time. "I'll see you later, Ai-chan," Sakura said, pulling on the little girl's cheek gently.
Aika looked up at her smiling. "Will...will you come back here?" she asked softly.
"Of course. As soon as I'm all finished with my work."
Aika stood on her knees and hugged Sakura tightly. "Okay…"
Sakura hugged her back before turning to Nakuru. "I'll see you as soon as it's over," she said to her.
Nakuru nodded with a small smile and Sakura left the room, heading to her car. She hated to leave Nakuru alone to her depressing thoughts, but the woman insisted on her meeting with this patient today.
She drove to her office that was only five minutes away from the hospital. Unlocking the door to the building, she realized her hands shaking. She was nervous and anxious to see the same man that she had slapped back at the club.
She still could not believe that she had done that. She had never done that before, so it was a shock to herself that she had landed the blow on his cheek. She could easily say that the man deserved it without hesitation with the way he was disrespecting her like that though.
During the session was one thing, but outside of it too? There was no way that she would allow him to do that.
She sighed and pushed the door opened to the building and walked inside, being sure to close the door behind her. She walked over to the desk and started organizing the papers that she had left scattered yesterday after finding out the news.
The news where her brother...
She could feel her eyes beginning to water again at the thought before the door opened, instantly making the tears vanish.
She looked up to see the familiar man in green scrubs with a distressed look on his handsome face as he walked over to the desk where she was. His hair looked a bit more disheveled than normal, and he even had a slight five o' clock shadow on his face.
She glanced back up in his amber eyes, opening her mouth to speak, but he beat her to it.
"Control."
A/N: Thank you guys so much for the reviews! It was nice to have an insight of what you guys are thinking (and fearing) so far. I was going to respond to everyone's reviews separately, but seeing that we all have some similar frustrations here, I decided to respond to them as a whole.
First things first, Syaoran is an asshole and jerk! A bit arrogant too, but these traits about him are the result of something. While reading this story, you guys may want to consciously have the thought of the "cause and effect" somewhere in the back of your head because there is a reason behind everything here. In my opinion, there should be no justifications about being rude and mean, but in this case, I'll let our Syaoran slide for this story.
I actually laughed so hard at the reviews that expressed how badly they want Syaoran to suffer in this story. I fully agree with that, which is why he is suffering and will suffer more in the future chapters. Much greater than he currently is in the story, but all at a good cause. There's a reason behind every characters action in this story, because I hate it too when there is unreasonable actions in a story that causes unnecessary conflicts and more drama. There will be drama, but not the annoying, heavy on drama type of story, I guess is what I'm saying.
Also, yes, different types of sexual infections is something that should not be taken lightly in this story because realistically, if a guy (or girl) sticks every or anything in their genitalia areas, then it is bound to happen, which happened to Syaoran a few years back. That is why I mentioned it in this chapter. He just got lucky enough to catch one that was curable. Still something to think about if he continues on this way because it's not only a smutty story, but a bit realistic too.
Another thing, rape is not something that is taken lightly in this chapter or story at all since there were a few implications on someone forcing themselves on another. I just wanted that to be clear because I just thought about it while writing this authors note lol.
There will not be an antagonist female character in the story though. Well, not how you guys may think there will be, so sorry for the people who are big fans of that kind of stuff! Though all the other women he is sleeping with could be considered it. I know it's not great for "Sakura and Syaoran pairing" fans to read Syaoran with another. I'm the same way, but he is an addict. Right now, he doesn't care who he sleeps with as long as there's stimulation on his part. Not saying that it will be that way forever, but...:P
So, on to Sakura's character in this story, she isn't going to be a weak character. In fact, she will probably be the stronger character. Her occupation does have something to do with that, but not all of it. Rest assured, she will not be one of Syaoran's whores in this story because I personally hate when stories portray females that way too.
Also, I personally hate when authors start a story and never continue it, so I'm not planning on doing that. And to further prove my point, I've been writing this story this week, which is midterms...I was writing it today and I had a midterm this evening, so I'm not going anywhere lol.
Likewise, if you got to the bottom of this long authors note, I applaud you! I would give out candy if I could, but sadly, we all know I can't.
Anyway, please leave more reviews! It's fun reading them and encourages me to write more, considering the fact that I've been writing during midterm week, which is crazy, I tell you!
All criticisms are welcomed as well. I take the harsh truth (also nicely put) as a lesson to learn from and improve in my writing.
Anyway...I'm going to go study as I do have a test tomorrow.
Ja ne!