"It Starts With the Little Things"

His knuckles were ice-cold, white even, no thanks to the tight clutches that his fingers had on the palm of his hand, almost draining all the blood from his hands. He had never felt this way before.

What was this emotion anyway? Hatred, maybe?

He knew all about that emotion, but he could not help but feel like it was something different this time. No, it was a completely different emotion from hatred, but he could not place his finger on what emotion it was.

He just knew that deep down, the cause of this new sparked emotion running through his blood had something to do with the little interaction occurring between the two people he now hated the most. Yes, he hated the psychologist again.

Even while standing in front of them, neither of them had noticed his presence, which only added fuel to the fire. Why were they being so rude?

Angrily, he cleared his throat, snapping the two out of their 'interesting' conversation.

Sakura's loving touch disappeared from the man's arm, much to Syaoran's relief a little.

"Good afternoon, Dr. Li," Dr. Akinari said with a kind smile.

Syaoran's fists twitched from the tight clutch, itching to punch that fake, kind smile off his face. Why were all these people the same? It irritated the fuck out of him. And what made matters worse, they were side by side, looking like the perfect couple. It was honestly disgusting.

There was no possible way that a relationship could work between two psychologists anyway, so why was he getting all worked up? They would never be the perfect fit because both had to take on the emotional distress of other people's problems, while taking on their own stress. Who would be the stable one in the relationship?

No one. His thoughts exactly, so why did he still allow this strong emotion to course through his blood like it was healthy?

"You don't have patients today?" Syaoran asked stiffly.

He was going to try today. He was going to try to be rational, but the longer he stood in their presence together, the more the little control he had was trying to slip. He could not help but feel the crazy, maniac side of him trying to poke its head out and murder the man. How could Dr. Akinari think that he could come and take what he found first?

"I do, but I am currently on my break. Is everything alright?" he asked, suddenly switching into full professional mode.

Syaoran stood with his mouth opened slightly, nothing coming to mind to tell the man. He just knew that he had to get rid of him or he would be tearing the other doctor's head off and feeding it to the wolves. Contrarily, he wanted to do so much more to the man, but held his wits.

"How was the surgery?" Sakura interjected after he could not respond.

Turning to her, almost with a piercing glare, he spoke, "Actually, I need to speak with you about that," he said, stealing the opportunity to get her away from the other psychologist, as fast as possible. He did not think that he could take them together anymore. He could feel his insides about to come up in a vomit.

He registered the pain-stricken, panic flash through her eyes, and felt a little bad, but he quickly disregarded the guilt, reasoning that she deserved it. It was her own fault for showing another man affection in any kind of way. He had asked her to do that for him, but she refused. He had asked her to let him show her a good time, but she refused him. What was her problem?

Dr. Akinari cleared his throat, resting a comforting hand on the small of her back. "Calm down, sweetie. I'll be here if you need me," the psychologist said in a hushed tone.

Syaoran saw red at the gesture and almost wrenched Sakura to his own body. She was not his, so what the hell was that man's problem?

"Come on," Syaoran commanded harshly.

"Thank you," she whispered to Dr. Akinari before leaning over to hug him. Right in front of Syaoran. Like he was a nobody standing there watching the little interaction as if it were some cliché, romantic movie.

And that was his undoing.

"Dr. Akinari, you need to get back to work," he demanded and then wrenched Sakura from the embrace roughly. He dragged her away from the devil, to the elevator, determined to teach her a lesson for her infidelity, even though they had never agreed to such a thing.

That did not matter to Syaoran right now though, because the moment the elevator doors slid opened and he spotted no one present, he dragged her inside. Quickly, he pressed the button to close the doors before anyone could walk in and interrupt them. He pressed the highest floor and then after a few seconds, he pressed the stop button so that she had no escape from him. So, it was just them alone, in the elevator that he had stopped. Perfect.

Adrenaline still rushing from whatever emotion he was currently feeling, he turned to her, ready to tell her off, but the sight stopped him.

Her emerald orbs were glistening with tears, small fingers clutching her chest as if she could barely breathe, or calming her heart down. It was too hard to tell right now, especially seeing those eyes.

The negative emotions immediately dissipated and he was at her side in mere seconds, gently grabbing her face. "Hey, hey, hey, what's wrong?" he asked in a tone that he never knew existed.

"Is she— " A loud sob escaped her mouth, unable to finish the sentence. The tears spilled from her eyes uncontrollably, hand clutching her chest tighter over the blouse.

His brows furrowed, wondering what she was trying to ask in her devastated position. Nonetheless, he swiped the tears away, hoping that they would stop, but they refused to, causing him to panic at her uncontrollable breathing pattern that she had.

"Hey, hey, hey, breathe. Breathe," he said, gently peeling her hand from the dangerously tight clutch on her chest.

"Breathe in," he instructed. She did as she was told. "Breathe out." She let out a shaky breath.

"Do it again," he commanded softly, while gently squeezing her hand with his own subconsciously, trying to calm the tension in her hand muscles from all the clutching. She did it a few more times before she finally calmed down.

"Are you okay?" he asked softly, caressing her cheek ever so gently.

She took one last deep breath and then let it go. "I'm not ready. Don't tell me yet," she said shakily.

"What?" he asked, confused.

"That Naku…" She could not even say the woman's name.

"Mrs. Kinomoto is okay," he said gently.

"W-what?" she asked, pulling back from his hold.

"She's okay," he repeated.

"Oh!" She let out before more tears formed in her eyes again and she began crying.

Instinctively, he pulled her in for a hug, squeezing her gently. "Shh…stop crying," he cooed, stroking his fingers up and down her soft, auburn hair as she cried in his scrub top. He did not give a damn about that though. He just knew that he had to comfort her.

After her sobbing came to a stop, he hesitantly pulled her back to see if she was finished crying. "Why would you ever think otherwise?" he asked, confused.

"Because you…you said that you needed to talk to me after I asked how she was," she said.

"No, no, no…that was…" he trailed off, realizing how that statement would cause her to feel that way. "No, she's fine. Perfectly fine. Everything went perfect during the surgery."

She took a deep breath again, releasing it afterwards. "You can't do that, Dr. Li. You just, can't," she said in a frustrating, scolding tone.

He took offense to that tone, being reminded why he dragged her in here, in the first place. "Oh, and you can go around and fuck every psychologist you see?" he asked testily. He could feel the anger creep back into his blood streams to the top of his skin at the thought of that man touching her in, any kind of way.

"What?!" she screeched, clearly shocked by his statement.

"I saw you. I saw exactly how you interacted with Dr. Akinari. I'm running around looking for your ass to inform you about the condition of your family and you're just having a merry little time fucking. You're fucking him, aren't you? That's why you won't let me fuck your brains out, isn't it? You're so fucking hypocritical that it's honestly disgusting," he spat angrily.

"That is none of your business," she said after everything he had just said and asked her.

He blinked two times before realizing what she had said. "Excuse me?" he asked incredulously. None of his businsss?

"It's none of your damn business who I am involved with, regarding my love life," she bellowed. She was clearly as shocked as he was.

"Love Life? Wow. You piece of shits don't have any ounce of love in your lives because your entire existence is based on being fake. Showing fake empathy, fake compassion, fake love! You were trained to be that way!" he said angrily, feeling his blood boil, thinking about everything he had just said. And then it hit him. Hard.

"You're just like her. I knew all along that you were just like her! The only difference between you people is the fact that she didn't get trained to do that shit, but you did! She didn't get paid to do it, but you do. You're just like her, damn it," he said, his assumptions hitting him harder than he expected them to.

"Oh my God…" he muttered, backing away from her. "I can't believe that I almost let you manipulate me and get into my head," he said, disbelievingly.

His head was spinning; everything was spinning around him and he felt like he was falling. Falling from what though?

"Li-san?" He heard his name being called, but could not register where it was coming from.

"Li-san!" the voice kept calling repeatedly.

"Li Syaoran!" He heard the familiar voice yell again, but it sounded like nails being scraped against a chalkboard. What the hell?

"You're just like her!" he chanted over and over as if he could not believe it. Those were the only words that made sense to him right now.

He had watched out for these people all the time and now he had almost let another one of them meddle their way into his life. What the hell was his problem? And why was this person still calling his name?

"Xiao Lang!"

And that did it. Everything stopped spinning and he fell to his knees. "Don't…use that name…" he registered his voice demanding harshly.

"W-what?" the voice stuttered.

"Don't use that fucking disgraceful, monstrous, disgusting, reprehensive name. Don't!" he yelled angrily, heart feeling like a hammer was beating it repeated, breaking it over and over again. "Don't use that name. I can't stand it! I don't like to hear it, don't use it!"

He could feel his insides burning. It felt like his body was on fire, and he was being burned from his organs to the top of his skin.

He was scared. He had never felt like this before and for the first time in his entire life, he felt like a real maniac. He wanted to destroy something. Hell, he would be willing to rip his own organs out one by one and watch himself bleed to death from above, if this feeling would disappear.

"Syaoran," the voice called softly and everything stopped.

His eyes slowly opened, not even realizing he had shut them, and everything was normal again. No fire coursing through his blood, hammers beating at his already broken heart, and spinning around in circles as he he fell into the little spirals. Everything was normal again.

He looked in the direction of the voice to see that it was the psychologist who had called his name. "Say it again…" he said, wanting to hear the voice that snapped him out of whatever the hell he was just in. He needed to hear her voice again, call his name like that.

"W-what?" she stuttered.

On trembling legs, he stood from the floor, walking towards her. She stood tall, staring at him determined. Thank God, she had not flinched back from him this time. "M-my name…" he almost whispered, stopping a good distance from her, so he did not frighten her any more than he probably already had.

"S-Syaoran..." she stuttered again.

He hardened in his scrubs, not even caring that she could probably see the bulge this time. "Again," he begged.

"Syaoran," she said more clearly, his eyes drifting shut involuntarily.

"Again."

"Syaoran," she said softly.

He sighed, feeling himself harden to the brink in the scrubs, the more she called his name. That was all he would ever need to snap him out of whatever the hell he had just experienced.

He walked over to her, pressing her back against the wall in the elevator, wrapping his arms around her body tightly, feeling her body pressed against his. Soon afterwards, he let go, turning away from her and then pressed the resume button on the elevator.

Once they reached the top floor, he turned to her. "I'll see you Thursday at eight or nine," he said and walked out before she could respond.

He headed back to his office and was surprised to see Dr. Akinari waiting there for him. Syaoran swallowed, scared that the man was on to him before he remembered that he had the advantage in this. He was the one who could terminate the man at any given moment.

He had the control in this.

"What is it, Dr. Akinari?" he asked coolly, unlocking the door. He pushed it opened, allowing for the man to walk through first before he followed behind him and closed the door.

"I was just wondering if everything was alright? Did I do something wrong?" he asked a bit worried.

Good.

"Everything is alright. You did nothing wrong." Besides take what I have been trying to work for…

"Oh, good grief. Don't scare me like that," Dr. Akinari said, letting out a nervous laugh.

Syaoran gave curt nod. "My apologies. I had a lot on my plate, and I had been looking for Kinomoto to inform her about her sister-in-law, but couldn't find her," he explained.

"Then it is my apologies, sir. I didn't know that I was holding her up," Dr. Akinari apologized.

Syaoran bit the inside of his cheek, almost painfully hard, trying to control himself from snapping on the man at that statement.

"Rest assured, everything is alright. I appreciate your concern," Syaoran said.

"Alright, I will let you get back to work then, sir." Dr. Akinari bowed his head before leaving the office.

Syaoran sighed and then took a few deep breaths and letting them go as he had instructed Sakura to do a few minutes ago. What the hell was his problem?

"You have a good one, Mr. Zanachi," Sakura said, waving at the middle-aged man who was making his way to the door.

"As long as you stay around this town, you know I will," he said winking at her.

She smiled, a blush evident on her cheeks as she shook her head comically. He had been one of her regular patients, a recovering alcoholic for the last three years. He often came in every couple of months to inform her of how his life would be going, how he had been feeling, and the other many struggles that he faced daily.

He had become a dear person in her life over the years, considering he also offered her advice since he was already a decade older than her. Even though he was dear to her, she continued to keep their relationship on a professional level.

During her sessions, she always set the boundaries before she began therapy with anyone, especially if she knew them personally. It never failed to succeed. That was why she needed to set some ground rules with Li Syaoran.

Since their last encounter, two days ago, her conscious had been nagging her, constantly reminding her that she should have set the rules in that elevator with him. How could she have though? She nearly had a heart attack, believing that her sister-in-law had not made it through the surgery.

She had felt the same way when she found out about her brother, but it was 10x worse with Nakuru. She had thought that she lost two loved ones within a span of two days, which would also leave Aika all alone.

Syaoran had been so mean for that. She did not know if he had done it on purpose or not, but it pissed her off to the max. And then he further pissed her off by disrespecting her like that, and asking her about her personal life until it all made sense.

It all had something to do with whatever happened when he started spilling the beans that she had been so impatiently waiting for.

With the information he yelled at her in the elevator, she could come up with several conclusions about what happened to him, but she chose not to. She wanted to wait and see what he would tell her, instead of stressing and losing hair over it.

At least she had found out another trigger of his that she knew to never use again, unless she had to.

Xiao Lang...

What significance did this name hold? He had used it the first time he set up an appointment with her.

And then it struck her.

It was to hide his identity...which meant that he was ashamed of his behavior. If he did not feel ashamed, why else would he go to great highs and use a name that he found so distasteful?

She could not hold any grudges against him for his little episode of maniac behaviors, or whatever was going on in that head of his. She was lucky enough that he did not get violent with her.

It was awful to say and think, but she was glad that he snapped because she found out more and was sure that he did too. She would dare him to say otherwise in their next session because there was no possible way that he thought his little episode was normal. Otherwise, he would not have put the session on again.

She glanced at the clock to see that it was past six in the evening. She was starving, but wanting to go to the hospital and see Nakuru and Touya, but at the same time, she did not.

She could not keep going there, not knowing when her brother would wake up because it was killing her. It was hard. It always felt like needles were stabbing into her heart with each step she took in that hospital. It was a wonder how she was not dead yet.

But then she decided on something. She would give Touya until Wednesday, a few more days, and if he did not wake up then, she would lose hope for him. She would accept that she would never hear his voice again, the insults, the damage she would do to him. There was no point in holding on to someone who did not want to be alive anymore.

Her eyes began to burn, tears filling them almost immediately. If he did—

Ring!

She jumped, frightened by the sudden sound of her work cell ringing. She maneuvered herself around the desk and picked it up, swipping it across without bothering to look at the caller ID.

"Moshi, moshi?" she answered.

"Kinomoto." She heard the familiar, husky voice over the phone, causing chills to glide down her body.

"Li-san?" she asked.

"Not Syaoran anymore?" he asked in a disappointed tone.

She sighed softly. "Is everything alright, Syaoran?" she asked, just as soft.

He remained silent on the phone for at least a minute, having her check to see if he were still on the line.

"Syaoran-kun?" she called.

"I-I'm here," he stuttered.

"What's wrong?" she asked, concern evident in her tone. She really did care about his well-being, and it was not because she was being paid for it.

"It's nothing...I just find it easier to not engage in sexual activities with another when you're around..." he trailed off. "Is this okay?"

She released a soft sigh from her exhausted form. "It's okay, but I need to make some things clear. You must understand that this cannot be an everyday occurrence. If I am short with you, it's not to be rude, but because I must remain as brief as possible with you outside of my practice, or a session. There has to be boundaries," she explained professionally, while secretly hoping that he would not become angry with her because of this.

Now was the time to get everything right with the man if he really wanted help and it would all start with the boundaries.

They would have to ignore the attraction that they felt to each other. Or, she would have to at least.

She had never seen a patient this way before. It was always strictly a professional atmosphere between her and the patient, which only made her wonder what was so different about Syaoran, aside from the fact that she used to have a crush on him decades ago. That was long gone the moment she met him and saw how he truly was though. That crush had crumpled to the ground like a piece of balled up paper, only leaving her to feel attracted to his physical appearance, nothing more.

There was nothing wrong with knowing that someone was attractive. She was only human, so it was not like she had done anything wrong yet.

Yet?

She meant to think, never. She would never do anything wrong because she loved her job more than anything in the world. Her job was her life, and she would never do anything to take away what she lived for.

"Okay, hearing your voice, even for a little while, helps..." he said softly in the phone.

She could not tell if he truly meant those words or if he was trying to lure her in to his naughty games. She decided to go with the latter though, just to be safe.

She still could not stop her face from becoming tainted with crimson hues though, goosebumps on her skin, and hair standing on end. He was good. Really good. Not good enough though.

So, she remained quiet on the phone, waiting for him to speak.

"It's been three days..." he almost whispered in the phone, but she heard him.

"Three days?"

"I haven't fucked anyone in three days..." he said, almost in a strangled tone.

Without thinking, she asked, "How is that making you feel?"

She had just told him that she would have to be brief, but she could not help but wonder if he was getting even the slightest bit better, though they had not even begun the real trials yet.

"I feel...terrible, but...I become easily aroused now and I've been doing a lot more..." She could almost hear the blush in his voice.

"Masturbation," she finished for him.

"Yes, but it's not more fulfilling as it is when a woman does it for me," he said.

"I see." She looked at the caller ID to see that they had been on the phone for five minutes. "Over time, it'll become better."

"Can I never have sex again?" he asked, almost worried.

She did not want to have this discussion of topic over the phone. It was not appropriate to have a therapy session right now, so she decided on taking another route.

"I would find this topic better to be discussed in person, rather than over the phone," she said softly.

She heard him sigh into the phone. "Are you trying to get off the phone with me?" he asked, voice rising a little.

She did not have to put up with his behavior right now. He was going to start acting like a little child again, and she was not in the mood for it.

"Syaoran-kun, I'll see you on Thursday, okay?" she told him gently.

He sighed. "Alright, Kinomoto," he said disappointed.

"Have a good rest of the evening."

"You too."

And then, she hung up sighing. She would get something to eat, and then go back to the painful needles stabbing in her chest.

It was Wednesday. The last day that she was giving her brother's life hope. She still believed that he would wake up, but a smaller portion of her brain kept poking fun at her by saying that he would not.

She was currently sitting in his room, by his bed, holding his hand between her palms. She was determined to make him wake up today, even though she was almost sure that it was not possible. She could still give it a try though, right?

She might as well try her best if she was planning to give up on him if he did not wake up today.

"Onii-chan…" she called softly.

She sighed and released his hand, realizing how crazy she was sounding. Of course, he could not hear her. He was probably dead…

"He's not dead, if that is what you're thinking," a voice said behind her.

Startled, she turned around wide-eyed. "Can you like…read minds?" she asked with a sad smile.

She had felt a bit more comfortable in his presence since their short phone calls. Even though she had told him that he could not call every day, he had done so anyway and she could never find it in her heart to ignore the calls.

Besides, it had only been four days since he started calling every day. Their conversations were still brief and professional, nothing that ever crossed the lines of the patient/therapist relationship rule.

After the session tomorrow with him, she would tell him that he could not keep calling every day. It was just hard to not pick up, especially knowing that he was not engaging in any sexual activities because of the phone calls with her.

She probably could not believe him because he was an addict, but something kept telling her that he was not lying. She was no fool to the little voices in a woman's head telling her, 'You're different from the rest' or 'you're special' though. She had been down that road way too many times to keep believing them.

"I never said he was," she said quietly.

"You didn't have to," he said, walking towards her.

She looked up at him, standing above her. "They say that a patient in a coma recovers faster if they are able to hear a voice that they are familiar with," he said, while staring at her brother.

"It is true, isn't it?" she asked, almost desperately.

He shrugged. "I want to tell you yes, but it's not always a guarantee. He may hear you, but he may not."

She frowned, but froze when she felt his presence somehow move behind her. What was he trying to do now?

"I..."

"Don't," Sakura interrupted, not wanting to get in a heated discussion with him right now. Or recieve any moves that he would make on her.

She really was not in the mood to deal with an angry man while dealing with her own depression about her brother. This was the exact reason why she did not have any patients today.

She was a little surprised that he was even still talking to her after his outburst. She really did wish she could read his mind…but at another time when she was not stressing about her brother's condition.

"But— "

She held a hand up, silencing him behind her. "If you're in an uptight mood, I can't right now…"

She could feel him glaring at the back of her head, confirming her assumptions. "Can I talk?" he asked.

Why was he even in here with her right now? She just wanted to cry and say her goodbyes to her brother in peace if he decided that he did not want to wake up. She knew that he would not wake up. Why was he even here?

"Excuse my forwardness, but could you leave? I would like to have a moment alone with him…" she trailed off sadly, hoping that he would take the hint.

Luckily, he did but surprised her all at once.

She felt his lips rest on her forehead gently before he pulled back. Somehow, she knew what the kind gesture meant because it was not just a random kiss that signified his desire to have his lips on her.

It was an apology without words.

"I will see you tomorrow, Kinomoto," he whispered huskily against her skin, causing her to shudder involuntarily with a blush on her cheeks. He walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

The moment the door closed, the feelings he stirred within her faded away. She barely could concentrate on the gesture because her mind was still too preoccupied with her brother.

"Onii-chan…are you really planning not to wake up?" she asked softly, and then grabbed his hand between her own again.

It twitched.

His hand twitched between her own, surprising her beyond beliefs. She tried not to get her hopes high because she knew that these kind of things happened all the time, but she could not help it when the hand twitched again underneath hers.

"Onii-chan!" she said louder, hoping that he would wake up. Maybe Syaoran had been correct afterall.

He let out a soft sigh through his nose, her ears perking at that.

Without thinking, she launched towards him, hugging his upper body tightly. "Onii-chan!"

He groaned. "Are you really still rowdy in the morning, Kaiju?" he asked groggily.

I know that this is not a long chapter, but I don't think I can stay up any longer and write more than this because I am running on no sleep and am about to fall out lol.(I'm going to correct any grammatical errors or rushed scenes tomorrow when I find the time.)

Syaoran's behavior in this chapter will be explained in next chapter because I know that he may seem a bit wishy washy here, but there's a reason behind it!(Remember, reason behind every character's actions in this story).

Anyway, thank you guys for the reviews! I hope that you can leave more and let me know what your thoughts are on this chapter!

Ja ne!