Chapter 4

After dinner, Addison, the two young ladies and Rosemary left for a stroll down the Battery in the warm night air. Mrs. Butler rose up, very erect and walked slowly to different rooms giving instructions to various servants for the next day. Rhett chose a cigar from his case. He lit it and casting a long eye across Scarlett, he walked to the stone balcony that gave a view of the sea. Scarlett followed him, her heart quickly beating harder and faster, a warm excitement filling her for she was near Rhett again. How coldly he had parted from her a few months back and how grim and tired he had looked. But he looked well now. And from his sarcasm and baiting tone, he almost seemed like the old rascal she knew from long ago.

She wanted to lean on him, tell him how much she missed him and loved him. But the violence of her emotions, swirled madly in her heart- a mixture of love, adoration and hurt and doubt. She went near him but she could not speak. When he turned, she merely raised her eyes, full of warm feeling and longing. She smiled tightly for his previous tone of disinterest and indifference still inspired fear in her heart. The last thing she wanted to do was to throw herself at his head.

Rhett grinned lightly. "Well, Scarlett- to be absolutely frank, I am quite glad to see you-"

"You are, Rhett?" echoed Scarlett, blinking away a sudden tear. She tried to speak something more but she couldn't. Words would not come.

"We parted under such bleak circumstances. I came here to Charleston and I can finally experience the comforts of this house, my own architectural design. I do like this house very much."

"The house?" asked Scarlett, bewildered. And then she quickly recollected, "Yes, this house which you built for your family. Oh, it's lovely. I like it very much too."

"Really?" asked Rhett, a hint of mockery in his smile. "Doesn't this house pale in comparison to your dark, overdressed,red stone monstrosity with its verandas, its cuppolas, turrets, towers, balconies- the iron statues and that hideous gazebo on the rolling lawns-"

Scarlett hadn't expected this turn of the conversation. For a moment she looked at a loss for words. Just why had she built such a huge mansion? Oh yes, the carpets made her forget the hard floor she slept on and the feather beds were a glorious replacement for her straw-stuffed bedticks. When she remembered this, a furious blush spread over her face and she herself could see how childish and self- centred she had been. She stared back at Rhett, looking very small and sheepish, like a child that had played for too long with toys beyond its understanding and was caught red-handed. Her mind rushed about, furiously gathering smart repartees of Rhett being of no help when she had built the house, of his various curt comments such as comparing her house to Belle Wattling's etc.. But even as her mind shouted words of retaliation, her heart, heavy and sad, quietly chided her to be silent. She felt ashamed. One week in the Charleston house had taught her a lesson. While her house was finer, more splendid and a treat for the eyes, it was too much for her to manage. It hadn't enough light to make it inviting to the pattering feet of her children, the architecture was too Gothic for anyone in Atlanta to relate to, or with whom she could talk about her house without them looking all at sea. The ballroom was magnificent but just who had she planned to invite to dance at her balls?! The people of Atlanta would never feel at home in such a mansion and strangely neither did she. Her heart twisted painfully within her and she did not speak at all. Instead she dug her toes awkwardly and diverted her eyes.

Rhett studied her face and calmly changed the topic of conversation. His face was a smooth blank so Scarlett could not even tell if he felt her discomposure.

"I was glad to see you, Scarlett because you would give me a frank opinion of Charleston."

Scarlett cheered up at once. She came closer, "Oh Rhett, as much I like this house and your family, I can't stand Charleston!"

"How do you mean?"

"Well, you know how we have servants and I know each of them. I mean I know about Pork. If you ask me, I'd tell you instantly that he was a bit slow but faithful as an old hound dog and very loyal. And good old Mammy, I'd tell you at once that she can be overbearing and even bull-headed at times but she has a heart of gold. But your family and any other Charleston family seem to think that servants do not have any own opinions or preferences. They treat them like pieces of furniture- I can't explain it. I only find it all too catty and snobby. In our house, Mammy at times even told my Mother what to do. She took charge. I trust her with all my heart. I could never think of her or anybody else as just servants.. I couldn't. And all this talk of me being half-Irish and my kinfolk on Pa's side. I believe I once saw Rosemary planning to attend a reading circle at her cousin's house without inviting me. And when I asked her about her cousin, she looked very uncomfortable and half-heartedly offered an invitation which I flatly refused. I was never one for begging companionship- And this endless trips to plays, theatres, musicales and cultural gatherings.. I always preferred the company of men who could ride fine stallions and dance well. But Charleston men only seem to stand around and talk.. and not even to the women but to themselves.. like a flock of sheep, chewing grass. What could men have to talk about besides war and gambling? And the women think they've reached the pinnacle of refinement if they just turn up their noses and spout poetry all day.. taking clippings and preparing snippets and things.. Well, I know Melly knew as much as these women and she was from Georgia. Now if they had real Europeans living among them or real English folk, then I would be impressed.."

Rhett chuckled softly into the night. His old smile was back and Scarlett felt encouraged. "Oh Rhett, I don't know how you can bear to be here. I mean, I know its your family and you want to find something of the old world but Rhett you never fit in there in the first place. Didn't you say you couldn't stand falsehood of any sort?"

"You painted a very frank portrait, my dear.. you have accurately hit the points were this society appears impractical and rather laughable. But have any of the old sentiments appealed to you?"

"I see your Mother is similar to mine. She could see you with your women, a drink at your elbow and a wallet full of new notes and all she would see is her son from Charleston and if he ever gave thought to completing his studies at West Point or making amends with his late father-"

Rhett burst out laughing at this. He evidently felt very amused.

"She sees only what she wants to see and everything else just isn't there. Just like my own Mother or any other lady for that matter-" sighed Scarlett. "And I suppose according to her, every burden is to be borne with pride and honour. Rhett, do come back to Atlanta with me. We can rebuild the house together, start our lives afresh-"

"I thank you, no-"

"Can't you find it in your heart to forgive me for everything that happened?"

"It isn't that" murmured Rhett, quietly.

"Then what is it? Why can't you come back? I told you so many times that I loved you."

"What about Ashley Wilkes?"

Scarlett grew desperate. "Rhett, listen.. I was a young girl when Ashley Wilkes first came home from his long trip to Europe. He came riding out to Tara and he looked like a knight in shining armour, so gallant, so gentle and chivalrous. And I thought he loved me. He treated me very kindly, spent more time with me, explaining wonderful things which my mind could never grasp, but he thought I could.. and I felt important. As if I was the person Mother always wanted me to be. And I thought I loved Ashley. But in the end I was so wrong. Ashley was full of ideals that could never be possible in the new, changed world. And when I stopped chasing after him, I realized I loved you all along. Oh Rhett, I am sorry for everything-"

"That time is past."

"But how could you possibly live here? You will never be one of the Charleston society!"

"I don't intend to be. But it does feel soothing to be respected even if people turn a blind eye to one's faults."