"How One Gains Control"
Syaoran bid Dr. Hanaka goodbye before he slipped inside his car, closing the door after him.
He felt his insides jumping around, and even tying into knots. It was excitement that he felt at its finest.
He could barely wait to get home, shower, and head to the club to reunite with his old acquaintances. The last encounter he had with them was pleasant, but it was ruined because of that Akinari guy.
Tonight, he declared that nothing would ruin his night with them, or with Sakura. He just prays that the other man was not there.
As soon as he pulled up to his home, he almost ran into the apartment. Quickly, he took a shower, washing all the germs away from the hospital.
Once he finished, he grabbed his wallet, keys, and then rushed out of the house. He could admit that he sped to the club after glancing at the time.
Yamazaki had told him that they would all meet up at nine tonight, but he did not get off until ten. It was twenty 'til eleven, which meant that he already missed the beginning of the fun.
When he pulled up to the club, he got out of the car, and headed straight for the entrance. He stood in line for a couple of minutes until it was his turn to pay. Once he paid the guy at the door, he walked inside.
He was greeted with flashing neon lights, and the vibrating bass of the thundering music in the building. He could never get used to this.
Syaoran looked around for any signs of the group before he decided to use common sense. There was no way that he could spot them in this crowded place.
He reached into his denim jean pocket, pulling out his phone. He sent a quick text to Yamazaki, asking where they were.
A text came back immediately, telling him to wait at the entrance. And so, he waited.
It was not long until he spotted the dark-haired man jogging towards him.
Yamazaki looked at him appropriately with a raised brow. "I don't think I've ever seen you in anything besides scrubs," he said teasingly, loud enough for Syaoran to hear him over the distant music.
Syaoran squinted his eyes at him for a moment before he chuckled lightly. "Whatever, fuc—" he stopped, catching himself before he used that insult.
He recalled telling Sakura that he should work on his language a few weeks ago, but it had slipped from his mind. He mentally took note to do so from now on.
Yamazaki grinned. "Come on. We got a room," he said.
Syaoran followed him as he led them to said room. What he saw was not something he expected to see so early in the night when he arrived. And, from her.
There Sakura was, standing on a table in a skin-tight, backless, black dress that showed a little too much skin for Syaoran's mind to picture her completely nude. She was dancing offbeat to the vibrating music outside of the room, alone. Her auburn hair was in disarray, hanging in loose waves that appeared to be curls before they appeared wavy.
He tried looking at her face, but she kept swinging her head back and forth to the music, so he could not properly see her face.
"Sakura's had a rough week, if it's not obvious," he heard Yamazaki say over the music.
Syaoran stared at her a little longer, trying to figure out if she was drunk. She had seemed fine to him earlier today when they talked on the phone.
"Li-kun!" he heard someone call his name.
He looked in the direction to see Tomoyo, Chiharu, Rika, and Naoko. He guessed that it was Tomoyo who called his name.
He walked over to them, but kept his eyes on Sakura to make sure she does not fall. He sat on the couch beside them. "Hey," he said, nodding towards them.
"We're glad you could make it out tonight," Chiharu said, smiling at him.
He offered her a small smile, silently agreeing with her. "What's going on?" he decided to ask, pointing at Sakura.
Naoko shrugged when his eyes locked with hers behind her rimmed glasses. "She's always like this when she gets drunk, which is rare. She's just having fun, though," she said, giving him a reassuring smile.
"Why aren't you guys dancing?! This is what clubs are for!" Sakura exclaimed, grinning at everyone and then swirled around on the table.
She's definitely drunk.
She bent down, giving him, and probably everyone else a nice view of her curvy rear end. She grabbed Eriol and Tomoyo's hand, pulling them up onto their feet. "Come on, guys!" she yelled.
Everyone laughed at her excitement, except Syaoran. He was not used to seeing her uncontrolled and wild. She was always cool and calm with him. She always had herself together, but this…
It was different and a bit unnerving to see for him.
Sakura dropped to her hands and knees, crawling to the end of the table.
Syaoran's eyes widened at the sight, feeling himself become beyond aroused. He watched, entranced as she leaned down, grabbing a glass of alcohol on the floor. She drunk it in one motion and then dropped the glass to the floor, causing it to shatter into pieces.
"This is the best night ever!" she exclaimed, abruptly jumping up on the table.
On her way up, she tripped over her own bare feet and began to stumble off the table.
Syaoran was on his feet within a blink of an eye, rushing to catch her. Before he reached her, someone else had already beaten him to it, catching Sakura in their arms.
He looked to the source of her savior, seeing the one man he prayed would not be here tonight.
Akinari.
His fists clenched when he heard Sakura giggle. He almost yanked her from his arms when he saw her relax in his arms, even snuggling closer to him.
When the man said something in her ear that he could not catch, Syaoran could have sworn he saw red. However, instead of acting out like a child, he sat down, huffing loudly. He kept his eyes locked on the two incase Akinari decided to try something sketchy with his hands on her.
He would surely pounce if he saw one inappropriate touch.
"Stop being so reckless, Sakura," Chiharu scolded gently with a giggle as she tried to take a sip from her drink.
Sakura sloppily lifted her body from Akinari's and stood up shakily again. She giggled uncontrollably and shook her head. "I'm reckless, no!" she said between giggles.
Everyone laughed at her swayed words, except Syaoran. He wondered if they were getting amusement out of this, or something. He certainly was not.
"Can we continue the game now?" she asked them all innocently.
"Game?" Syaoran questioned before he could stop himself.
"We were playing a drinking game," Rika said.
"For the record, you need to take a shot anyway. We all took shots as soon as we got here," Yamazaki said, handing him a shot glass.
For a moment, he hesitated to take it, but did nonetheless.
Yamazaki poured something in his cup, and then motioned for him to drink it.
Syaoran looked at the clear liquid, mentally preparing himself for the taste and burn. He drunk it in one swift motion and then set the cup down on the table with a straight face.
Sakura cheered for him. "Good job, Syaoran! Now you can get up and dance with me!" she exclaimed, grabbing his hands, attempting to pull him up.
He pulled his hands back immediately, feeling uncomfortable with this Sakura. Her behavior is resembling someone he does not want to think about right now.
Careless and reckless.
She pouted, falling on the table, exaggeratingly. "But, but, but, you guys won't dance with me because you haven't had a drink. And..." She locked eyes with Syaoran. "Our doctor here is drinking." She reached over, grabbing Syaoran's hands again.
"Sakura," Akinari called warningly. "Stop it."
She pouted and released Syaoran's hands. "Yes, Father," she said like a little child.
Everyone laughed at her response, hearing the sarcasm. Syaoran, on the other hand, just stared, feeling a little offended that she listened to Akinari.
Even though her respectful answer was meant to be a joke, he noticed her really stopping like he told her to.
Without thinking, Syaoran grabbed the large bottle of alcohol on the table and chugged a large amount of it down.
"Woah!" His ears registered someone howl.
He sat the bottle down, and then looked at everyone who was staring at him amused. "I've had a hard week, this week, so I'm with Kinomoto here," he said, feeling a little light-headed from the alcohol.
"Really?" Eriol asked, voice sounding like he knew something.
Syaoran could not care about that right now, so he nodded. "I lost two patients because of an asshole," he told them, almost sounding emotionless about it.
"That really sucks..." Yamazaki said, putting shot cups on the table for everyone. He poured the alcohol in all of them, and then turned to everyone. "A shot for Syaoran and his shitty week," he said.
Everyone took the shot at the same time, and then placed the cups down.
And then, they all began to talk about their weeks, while having light conversation about anything that came to the table.
Syaoran even found himself participating in the conversations, surprisingly.
It was only until Syaoran's eyes fell on Sakura that he noticed her silence.
As if she sensed his eyes on her, she looked up immediately. She looked away from him, though.
"I have to go to the restroom," Sakura said, interrupting their conversation.
She stood up, stumbling a little. When she nearly tripped over her own feet, she caught herself, giggling uncontrollably.
Tomoyo stood up with her, grabbing her arm. "I'll go with her, guys," she reassured everyone.
"Be careful," Syaoran and Akinari said simultaneously.
Syaoran clenched his fists, feeling even more annoyed with the man now.
Tomoyo smiled at them, nodding her head, and then dragged Sakura out of the room.
"Have you known Sakura for long, Li-kun?" Naoko asked.
He turned to her with wide eyes.
Is she on to me?
"No..." he said cautiously. "I met her at the hospital once after she sprained her ankle. And then, her brother and sister-in-law were involved in a car accident," he explained.
"Oh, yeah. I forgot about that," Rika said.
"You sure are a great doctor to care so much about a former patient's family," Eriol said.
Syaoran looked at him, setting his jaw tight after seeing a mischievous glint in Eriol's eyes. Now he wanted to jump across the room and strangle Eriol.
Eriol knew something, he was sure of that.
But, what?
"I know how it can be at places like this. You should worry about your wife too," Syaoran said calmly.
He promised himself that he would not ruin this, so remaining calm was the only thing he could do to accomplish that.
"Of course, but—"
"I think that it's great that Li-kun is worried about their well-being," Rika interrupted.
Syaoran sighed in relief, glad that someone came to his rescue. "Thank you. I thought the same."
Eriol held up a hand in surrender. "Okay. I just sensed the doctor may have something for Sakura," Eriol said.
Something like what?
Syaoran's brows scrunched together in confusion at the statement.
"Eriol, it's an exception now, but please don't say anything like that when Sakura's around," Akinari interjected.
Syaoran looked at him, annoyed with that statement. "What's that supposed to mean?" he asked without thinking.
"Sakura's been through a lot...and she's not emotionally stable to even think about anything like that right now," Akinari said, staring Syaoran in the eyes.
For some reason, he sensed the man conveying some form of message to him. It was more like a silent warning.
"Akinari-san may be right," Chiharu said thoughtfully.
"I can assure you that I won't trouble Sakura with anything like this," Eriol said softly, while staring at Syaoran.
Syaoran's fists clenched, annoyed with all of them in the room now.
He could not understand why Akinari talked as if he knew everything about Sakura, and had some form of right to act as her protector.
"Keep it that way," Akinari said.
As soon as he said that, Sakura and Tomoyo arrived.
"Did we miss anything?!" Sakura exclaimed, smiling at everyone.
"Of course not," Akinari said, smiling at Sakura warmly.
Syaoran huffed, annoyed with the man acting so loving towards her.
Did he not just say that she was not ready for any kind of relationship?
Syaoran stood, feeling a little persuaded by the alcohol coursing through his body. "I want to have that dance you offered earlier," he said, staring Sakura in the eyes, almost daring her to say otherwise.
She smiled at him widely, and grabbed his hand. "Let's go then!" she said.
Akinari stood, grabbing her other hand gently. "How about we all go out on the dance floor?" he suggested.
Syaoran locked eyes with Akinari, almost tugging Sakura's body towards his like a child who does not want to share his things with anyone else, but remembered that they were adults.
"That's a great idea!" Rika said, standing as well.
Soon afterwards, everyone stood and walked out of the room.
Syaoran felt a little annoyed that they had decided to tag along. Now, he would not be able to have any alone time with her.
But, another side of him felt a little relieved that they did. After all, he came here so he could spend time with everyone tonight.
As soon as they reached the crowded dance floor, Sakura's hand slipped from his as she went off to dance with her friends.
For some reason, Syaoran did not mind, as long as it was not with Akinari, or some other guy.
Akinari was the reason that Syaoran decided to drag her out here anyway. The man was acting like Sakura belonged to him, Syaoran noticed.
Smiling at her like that...
Syaoran's fists clenched, eyes locking on Sakura as she raised her hands above her head. They unclenched as he stared at her, instantly becoming entranced with her dancing.
She was terrible. She had no rhythm, and it seemed that she has two left feet. But, everything about her was so entrancing as she moved her body.
And then, he remembered that she did not have any shoes on.
Surely, her feet would be sticky and dirty from all the wasted alcohol beverages on the floor.
He was snapped out of his trance when someone bumped him, making him realize that he was standing on the dance floor awkwardly, watching her like a creep.
What the hell is wrong with me?
Syaoran tapped Yamazaki's shoulder, getting his attention. He almost felt a little jealous of the man, watching his wife dance against him like that.
Yamazaki looked at him, appearing a bit heated by the dance as he held Chiharu close to him.
"I'm going to get a drink," Syaoran yelled over the music.
Yamazaki's brows scrunched together, clearly not hearing what Syaoran said.
"The bar!" Syaoran yelled again, pointing towards the bar area.
"Oh! Okay," he said.
And Syaoran took that as the sign to go, but not before glancing in Sakura's direction to make sure she was still with Tomoyo, Rika, and Naoko.
Eriol's eyes scanned the bar, looking for one person.
He had left the dance floor to find a certain amber-eyed man who had been staring at his wife's best friend all night.
He could not help but wonder what was going on between Sakura and Syaoran.
For sure, Eriol knew that Syaoran had set up an appointment with Sakura a few months ago, but he could not tell if he had really gone.
It was an afternoon when Tomoyo and him dropped by Sakura's place to visit her.
He was not a snooper, but Sakura had left a sheet of paper on the kitchen table, which she never did. Curiosity got the best of him, so he had a look at it.
And there Syaoran's information was on the paper. Her appointment papers, which only meant one thing.
Syaoran did take his advice and used the card that he gave him.
He still could not understand why he decided to make an appointment, when for years, Syaoran had denied the fact that he needed help.
Eriol always had good intentions, though he came off as sly and sneaky most of the times.
He wanted Syaoran to get help. At one point, him and Syaoran had been friends, as hard as it was to believe.
They were distant cousins, so often, his parents would fly over to Hong Kong from England to visit.
When they were kids, Syaoran would always treat Eriol as a brother.
Then, they began to go to the same school when his aunt sent Syaoran to Tomoeda to attend school in Elementary school.
When Syaoran got to Tomoeda, he completely ignored Eriol and shut him out, along with everyone else around him.
Eriol never knew why his aunt sent Syaoran here, nor did he know why Syaoran shut him out like that.
But, Eriol dropped the case of finding out why. It was probably just Syaoran growing apart from him, he had reasoned at the time.
Now, he found himself wondering about Syaoran again. With Syaoran's behavior tonight, Eriol knew that Syaoran had talked with Sakura.
He would even go so far as to say that Syaoran liked Sakura, just from the sight of him showing so much interest in her when he first arrived.
Eriol had noticed his gaze land on Sakura as soon as he walked in. Then again, how could it not have? Sakura was standing on a table dancing and howling like an animal.
Aside from that, Eriol knew that there was something going on between them.
Sakura seemed too familiar with him, which only brought one question to mind – is he still going to her?
Eriol spotted chestnut hair at the end of the bar. Syaoran was sitting down, accepting the drink from the man.
Eriol walked towards him, head held high almost. He wanted to see if he could get any answers out of Syaoran.
He sat in the stool next to him, and then looked at the bartender.
"Can I get an awamori?" he asked.
From the corner of his eyes, he could see Syaoran turn to him and glare.
"What the hell do you want?" Syaoran asked.
Eriol held back a smirk, not wanting to piss Syaoran off further.
Syaoran had a temper, and Eriol had been a victim of one of his tantrums in the past.
Eriol had purposely provoked him in the past, only to receive a broken nose in return. Syaoran never even apologized for sending him to the hospital until this day.
Though he would never admit it, Eriol knew that he deserved the punch.
"Is it so wrong for me to get a drink?" Eriol asked, looking at him from the corner of his eyes.
He noticed a scowl on Syaoran's face as he swore under his breath. "You can have this section," Syaoran said, standing from the stool.
"Are you so upset by my presence? Or the fact that I know that you're up to something?" Eriol asked calmly, staring at Syaoran.
Syaoran froze for a moment before he glared at Eriol. "What the hell are you talking about?"
"Syaoran, Syaoran, Syaoran. Calm down," Eriol said in a fake, caring tone.
Syaoran's fists clenched at his side, almost appearing as though he were trying to hold himself back from launching an attack. "What the fu—" he stopped, taking a deep breath. "I don't have time for you."
"But, you have time for the sessions with Sakura?" Eriol asked boldly.
He knew that he was pushing his limits, but Syaoran would not be able to get far in hurting him tonight. There were too many security guards and people here.
"What?" Syaoran asked, confused.
"Isn't that how you know her?" Eriol asked, raising a brow at him. He thanked the bartender after the man gave him the drink.
"I don't know what you're talking about," he said, looking away.
"Right, because you weren't disturbed by her behavior for nothing, right?"
Syaoran rushed to his side, grabbing the collar of his shirt. "Were you not? That was completely out of character for her," Syaoran said dangerously low. "Or were you enjoying the view of her body moving like that?"
Eriol grabbed his hands tightly, pulling them away from his shirt. He chuckled, shaking his head. "I very much love my wife. Now, are you by any chance admitting that you're still getting her help?"
Syaoran scoffed, and then locked his jaw tightly. "Why the hell are you concerned with my business? It's none of your business, shitface."
"Sakura is my business, so that's why I'm warning you not to try any of your manipulative schemes on her. I will personally bury you alive if you ever do anything to hurt her," Eriol said gravely.
Syaoran's eyes widened at the threat before he glared at him, and then stormed off.
Eriol dropped the facade as soon as Syaoran was out of sight.
A smirk played at his lips, feeling satisfied of the answers he got out of Syaoran.
That went better than he planned for it to go. And, he even found out that his old friend was getting help with his problems now.
Syaoran leaned against the wall, keeping his eyes on Sakura. He was making sure that she does nothing to get herself into trouble. With him, at least.
She was still dancing with her friends sloppily. He even noticed that Tomoyo, Naoko, and Rika were a little drunk too because they had loosened up a bit.
His eyes landed on Tomoyo for a moment before he felt himself growing annoyed.
He hated her husband.
Concluding that Eriol soured his mood, Syaoran decided to take a breather from the entire group.
After Eriol asked him those questions, he felt like he was in trouble for some reason.
Indeed, Eriol is the one who opened the door for him to find Sakura, but Syaoran would never admit that. It was no one's business what he does in his personal time, including going to therapy.
It was starting to get on his nerves how much everyone was trying to become involved with him and Sakura. It was not their business.
Syaoran's eyes snapped back to Sakura's direction as soon as his eyes caught sight of something that he did not like.
Another man trying to dance with her.
He was already trudging over to her direction, shoving all the drunks out of his way on the dance floor.
When he reached her, he grabbed her wrist, pulling her clinging body from the stranger.
For a moment, he wondered where her 'father' was, allowing her to dance against these strangers like this. He disregarded the thought immediately, reasoning that it might just piss him off.
Sakura looked up at him through her long lashes, appearing lost.
Syaoran ignored his growing erection and pulled her towards him to drag her off the dance floor.
Before he could get too far, a strong hand grabbed his shoulder, stopping him.
Syaoran turned around, only to see her 'father of the night,' stopping him. He let out an annoyed huff, squeezing Sakura's hand a little.
"Where are you guys going?" Syaoran read his lips yell over the loud, vibrating music.
Where are we going?
"I'm fine, I'm fine! I'm just going with Syaoran to sit down!" Sakura yelled over the music.
Akinari's eyes locked with Syaoran's for a minute, warning him not to do this.
Do what?
"I'm not a baby..."
Akinari's brows scrunched together. "What?"
"I'm not a baby! You don't have to treat me like a fucking glass," she yelled louder so he could hear her.
Syaoran gave her hand a light squeeze, almost feeling proud of her backtalking to the other man. Also, she had used vulgar language, something he enjoyed hearing from her.
Akinari held a hand up in surrender. "Okay. I'll be over there," he pointed to a corner in the club. "My ears are opened, so if you need anything, just yell."
Syaoran's jaw set tight again, wanting to chew the other man's head off for acting so caring to his Sakura.
"Li-kun."
Syaoran looked at him, using all his willpower to not lash out at him.
"Take care of her," he said tightly, but Syaoran read the statement as, "You do anything to hurt her, I'll kill you," from the way the man looked at him.
Instead of attacking, Syaoran nodded, and then pulled Sakura with him. He faintly heard her giggle, but assumed that it was only his imagination.
It was only when he got them in the room that they reserved that Sakura burst out laughing.
Syaoran looked at her incredulously as she leaned all her weight on him, forcing him to wrap his arms around her small, lithe body.
"Why are you laughing?" Syaoran asked, confused.
Sakura rest her hands on his chest, causing him to stiffen under her touch.
Do not take advantage of her!
I will not take advantage of her.
"It always works," she slurred, pushing against his body, causing him to stumble back a little.
"W-what always works?" Syaoran stuttered, feeling nervous suddenly.
"Raising my voice at him. He acts more like a dad than a therapist or friend," she said.
Therapist?
She pushed against him again, but this time, the back of his knees bumped against the mini couch, causing him to lose his balance, so he sat on the couch.
Syaoran looked up at Sakura and swallowed. He could not tell what she would do next, but he was sure that it was something she might regret later.
When she dropped to her knees, he immediately grabbed her shoulders, pushing her back so he could stand.
He wanted her, but he would not take advantage of her. That was against his morals, and he would not break them just because he liked her.
Like her?
He pushed the thought to the back of his head, reasoning that it was nothing serious.
"Sakura," he called her name.
She looked at him confused before she giggled. "Isn't that why you brought me here?" she asked.
"U-uhh..." he stuttered, at a loss for words.
He did want to have sex with her, but that was not the reason he dragged her away from the dance floor.
"No," he said, shaking his head with a blush on his face. He pulled her up from her stooping position so he did not have to watch the torturous, erotic image.
"Then, why?"
He stared at her face, searching for any signs that showed she was kidding. Not even a smirk or twitch from her lips.
"U-uh...you're drunk," he said awkwardly.
She broke out into a grin, shaking her head.
He read her lips articulate the word, 'maybe.' She had said it so quietly that he could not hear over the distant music.
The grin slowly disappeared from her lips as they began to tremble.
His mind went into overdrive, seeing her eyes water. "What's wrong, Sakura?" he asked, grabbing her face gently.
"This was stupid," she said brokenly. "I shouldn't have come tonight."
"Sak—"
Syaoran's body was yanked from her immediately.
"What the hell did you do?!"
Syaoran looked in the direction of the voice, only to see Akinari being the source of the interruption. He glared at the man, shrugging Akinari's hand away from his body.
"Aki!" Sakura exclaimed excitedly.
Akinari rushed to Sakura's side, wrapping an arm around her comfortingly. "What's wrong?" he asked her.
Syaoran's body began to tremble in anger, seeing Sakura so relaxed in another man's arms.
Before he could stop himself, Syaoran grabbed the back of Akinari's shirt and shoved him hard, causing the man to trip over the table.
"Syaoran!" Sakura exclaimed, grabbing his arm tightly when he began to make a move to go to Akinari who was on the floor.
"What the fuck, man?" Akinari said, glaring at him as he stood up from the floor.
Syaoran dug his nails into the palm of his hands, hoping that the pain would distract him from the urge to punch the man.
Syaoran heard Sakura clear her throat, breaking the glaring battle up. She released Syaoran's arm and looked at them both while trying to hold back a grin. "Now, we are all adults here," she said in a playful tone. "So, let's act like it."
"I think it's time to get you home," Akinari said, grabbing her hand.
Syaoran clenched his fists at the sight. "Like hell you're going to take her home," he said without thinking.
Akinari's eyes widened, surprised by Syaoran's statement. "I'm sorry?"
"You're not taking her home," Syaoran repeated.
Sakura burst out laughing. "Now I have two dads'?" she asked exasperatedly. "I am perfectly capable of getting home on my own. But, it's not time to get home. We have to party!" she exclaimed, grabbing both of their hands, lifting them high.
Clumsily, she twirled around, pulling them with her.
Syaoran pulled his hand back from hers, frowning. He wanted to know what was going on with her.
"Come on, Dads. We should get back to the dance floor with Riku—Rika? I think that's right. Naoko, Tomoyo, and Chiharu, too if Yamazaki hasn't taken her home yet," she said between giggles.
Akinari turned to Syaoran as Sakura continued to ramble on. "Look, I don't know what the deal is with you and me, but no hard feelings, okay? Let's act as adults would," he said, holding his hand out to him.
Syaoran began to grow even more annoyed with him for being the bigger person. He turned away from his hand rudely. "Sakura wants to dance a little longer with the others, so let her dance with the others," he said.
"She's being reckless right now—"
"I am not! I am perfectly—" She stopped, throwing her hands to her mouth as if she were trying to hold something in. She rushed to the little trashcan by the couch and threw up.
Akinari motioned to her with a, 'I told you so,' face on.
"You're not taking her home," Syaoran said in a finalizing tone.
"Li-kun, I have nothing personal against you, but she's my responsibility. She specifically asked me to make sure she gets home safe tonight," he said.
Syaoran's eyes widened as he felt himself becoming infuriated now. "You're lying," he said tightly.
"I'm not. I just want to make sure she's safe," Akinari said sincerely.
Syaoran closed his eyes, praying these feelings to go away. He could not understand why Sakura would go to him, of all people.
It made him mad, angry that she chose to put her safety in another man's hands.
Syaoran looked at Akinari's face, searching for something, anything to say. "You're drunk," Syaoran said once he noticed the slight flush on Akinari's face.
"I'm sober enough," Akinari said.
"No, you're not," Sakura said, giggling once she came back over to them. "Syaoran can take me home."
"What?" they both said at the same time.
"You've watched me all night long, Aki. And, you're drunk," she said, grabbing his cheeks before she giggled. "Your face is all hot!"
Akinari grabbed her hands gently, pulling them away from his face. "You don't know what you're saying, Sakura," he said.
"I do! Let me show you." She held up two fingers on one hand, and then three on the other. "Five fingers!"
She looked a little lost, that Syaoran almost chuckled at the cuteness.
Akinari sighed. "I can't force you to not do this, but are you sure?" he asked, looking in her eyes pleadingly.
Syaoran grew even more annoyed with the man for making him seem like a bad guy. Syaoran knew that he would never do anything to hurt Sakura, but Akinari seemed to think otherwise.
"I'm sure. There's a few things that I have to discuss with him anyway," she said, smiling.
"You're not sober enough to do that, Sakura. Look, just think—"
"Stop it, Aki. You know how I feel when you treat me this way," her voice had become sad just that quick.
"Okay, okay. I'm sorry," Akinari said.
Syaoran watched Akinari's hand squeeze hers a little and had to look away before his insides come up, out of his mouth.
"But! We have to do more dancing!" she exclaimed.
And just like that, she was happy and cheerful again.
She dragged them out of the room, and towards the dance floor.
As soon as they were in the midst of the crowd, Sakura's body glued to Syaoran's like magnet.
He tried his best to hide the effect that she was having on him. It was hard, so he reasoned that he had nothing to worry about.
There were probably over fifty people on the dance floor, most likely drunk, and everyone was kind of glued to each other. Sakura just happened to be the person glued to him as she clumsily danced to the music, off beat.
Syaoran kept his hands to himself like a good boy the entire time and just moved his body against hers to the erotic lyrics.
A few songs later with more dancing, everyone was ready to call it a night, or those who were half sober, at least.
"You're going to make sure Sakura gets home, Akinari?" Tomoyo asked outside as she clung to Eriol, who was holding up her body.
Syaoran could tell that she was drunk, but could hold her alcohol.
"Yes, he will," Sakura interjected before Akinari had the chance to. "We're going to take an uber."
Akinari looked at Sakura with a strange look on his face that Syaoran could not decipher.
"Okay." Tomoyo hugged her tightly.
Sakura hugged her back and then pulled back with a silly grin on her face. "Chiharu and Yamazaki couldn't even wait until the night ended?"
Tomoyo giggled, shaking her head. "They left an hour ago. Rika met this older, attractive guy, so she insisted on spending time with him," she said.
Sakura tilted her head to the side. "And, Naoko?"
"She met a guy too, though I didn't see him. She only told me about him and..."
Syaoran drowned out the rest of their conversation, mentally preparing himself for what Sakura said she wanted to discuss.
He was not aware of anything that he did out of line tonight—aside from the shove, but surely she would not remember that.
She was too drunk to know anything right now.
"Li-kun?"
He looked in the direction of the voice to see Tomoyo staring at him.
"Did you enjoy yourself?" she asked mischievously.
It reminded him of Eriol, which only annoyed him.
Reasoning that Tomoyo did nothing wrong to him, he nodded. "Yes. I'm glad I came out," he said honestly.
Maybe I should do this more often...
"That's good. Maybe we could do this again," Tomoyo suggested.
He nodded.
They bid each other goodbye one last time before it was only Sakura, Akinari, and Syaoran left.
"Are you sure, Sakura?" Syaoran heard Akinari ask Sakura.
She smiled at him, nodding. "I'm a little more sober now. I'm positive," she said quietly.
Syaoran looked away, not wanting to ruin the rest of his night.
"Okay...call me if you need anything," he said.
Syaoran glanced down at his clock to see that it was one in the morning. And he grew annoyed, assuming that the two talked on the phone at late hours.
"Okay. It's only a few things that we have to discuss, and that'll be it," Sakura said, almost sounding completely sober.
"Okay. I trust you."
And it went silent, making Syaoran wonder why. He refused to turn around and see something he would not like.
"Goodnight, Li," he heard Akinari say.
He remained silent for a moment before he realized how immature he was being.
"Goodnight."
And just like that, it was only Sakura and him. Alone.
Syaoran turned to Sakura, only to see a blank expression on her face.
"Let's go," he said quietly.
She followed him to his car, remaining silent the entire time.
Once they settled in the car, he cranked it up, and she began to tell him the directions to her place.
When they arrived, she invited him inside, insisting that they really needed to talk.
Syaoran looked around the apartment, memorizing everything in it. Everything was Sakura's. That alone made him want to, even though there was nothing spectacular and out of the ordinary here.
He heard the door click behind him, signifying Sakura locking the door.
"Syaoran..." she called brokenly.
Hearing that tone made him turn around to her immediately.
His eyes widened, seeing tears brim in her eyes. Immediately, his hands lifted to her face, caressing her cheek lovingly. "What's wrong?"
Her mouth opened, but nothing came out. She choked back a sob and walked closer to him so she could rest her head against his shoulder.
His hand moved down to her chin, forcing her to look up at him. "What's wrong, baby? Talk to me," he said, feeling his heart tear at her glistening eyes.
"I..." she closed her eyes tightly. "It hurts," she whispered brokenly.
Panic rushed through his body as he started searching her entire body for any signs of injury. "What hurts? Did you fall? Run into something? What hurts, Sakura?" he asked in a frenzy as he continued to search her body.
She giggled, shaking her head. "No...it hurts," she said, moving her hands up to her chest to emphasize her point.
His eyes softened, bringing his hands up to hers, on her chest. "What happened?" he asked, squeezing her hands gently.
"I don't want to talk about it..." she said, voice shaking a bit. "But, you understand...that's why I need you."
His heart sped up at that, feeling useful in this way for the first time.
"I'm here for you then," he said sincerely. "Come on."
He led them through her apartment, blindly looking for her room. Eventually, she showed him which room was hers.
He stopped them at the foot of her queen-sized bed, and kissed her lips as gently as he could.
When he realized his lips becoming more demanding and rough with hers, he used all his strength to break the kiss.
He stared at her with heavy-lidded eyes and pushed her to sit down on the bed gently. "I'm sorry. You've been torturing me all night, though," he said.
She let out a short, forced laugh. "I can't tonight, Syaoran," she said, sounding guilty.
He looked confused now. "What?"
"I can't have sex with you tonight..." she said quietly.
He leaned down and kissed her lips again, even softer this time before he pulled back. "I didn't plan to," he said truthfully.
He did want to, though. But he knew that she was still not completely sober. Also, her needs came before his now.
She was upset, or sad, so he wanted to be there for her, just as much as she had been for him for these last three months.
"Okay..." she said, crawling further up on the bed so she could lie down on top of the covers.
Syaoran noticed her heels still on her feet as she laid there, so he sat at the bottom of the bed and unbuckled the open-toed shoes. He slid the painful objects off her feet and saw how dirty and sticky the bottom of her feet was.
When he stood up to head to the connected bathroom, she sat up. "Don't, Syaoran. Just..." She stopped, closing her eyes tightly.
He read the message loud and clear and walked over to the bed. He slipped his casual shoes off and climbed on the bed behind her.
He felt uncomfortable with his jeans still on, holding his erection down, but relieved all the same. He did not want to bother her with his needs.
He moved closer to her backside, wrapping his arms around her small body. He pulled her closer to him, burying his face in the crook of her neck so he could place light kisses on her.
It took her a minute to relax in his arms before she let him pull her even closer to his body.
"When you're ready to tell me, I'll be right here," he said against her skin.
He felt goosebumps form on her skin at his breath against her.
He placed a few more kisses on her neck before wrapping his lips around the crook of her neck.
He could not keep his lips off her body.
What is wrong with me?
He sucked on her neck gently until the urge grew stronger, making him suck harder.
"Syaoran," she called weakly, snapping him out of the lustful trance.
He released her neck and then rest his chin against her shoulder. "I'm sorry. I'm really trying," he whispered sincerely in her ear.
She shivered again, so he brought his hand to her arms, rubbing it to get rid of the chill bumps.
"Can you just stay like this?" she asked.
"Of course," he said.
So, they laid there with Syaoran holding her.
When Sakura relaxed in his arms, Syaoran was sure that she had fallen asleep.
He was beyond tired, so he fell asleep without any hesitations.
Syaoran stirred in his sleep, hand grasping something soft. Too soft.
He gripped it, assuming that it was Sakura's breast. Or, so he hoped for it to be, at least.
Too bad it was not warm, which meant one thing; it was not her breast.
He snuggled closer, only to realize that he snuggled against nothing. He bolted up, looking around for Sakura. He panicked when he saw no signs of her.
How long had I been sleeping?
"Sakura?" he called, sliding off the bed.
He looked around for her, repeatedly calling her name.
When he got no response, he began to pull the sheets off the bed in hopes that she was hiding under them. He looked under the bed before he rushed out of her room. He hurriedly walked down the hall, checking each room he could find as he called her name non-stop.
Suddenly, he realized the emotion that he was feeling. He had not felt it since he was a kid, so it was a little unnerving.
He was terrified.
Terrified that he lost her, that she left him here alone.
The back of his eyes began to burn as his heart felt too heavy to carry in his chest.
And then he heard it. A faucet turning and water hitting against water.
He rushed back to her room and ran straight for the bathroom door. He had no clue why he did not think to check there first.
He grabbed the knob, twisting it.
It did not budge.
"Sakura," he called, twisting the knob uncontrollably.
No response came, further causing the panic to rise in his chest.
He heard the faucet turn again, more water, and then it turned off again. "Open the door, damn it," he yelled, rattling the knob more.
When she gave him no response again, he began to push against the door. "Sakura!" he called, slamming his fists against the door and then his body repeatedly.
One more slam caused the door to tear open.
He rushed inside, but froze at the sight presented in front of him.
There Sakura was, fully dressed in her club attire, sitting in the tub full of water as she held the bottle of vodka.
Her makeup was smeared, hair soaked as if she had been under the water. Her face was flushed as she stared at the clear water blankly.
Syaoran closed the door, and walked further in the bathroom towards her. "What are you doing?" he asked softly.
She looked up at him with wide-eyes.
He noticed the lost look in her glistening emerald eyes.
"How do you do it?" she asked in the quiet bathroom.
Syaoran did not say anything.
"How do you just lose someone you've tried to save, and then move on to the next person as if you just didn't lose them?" she asked brokenly.
A single tear rolled down her cheek.
Syaoran panicked, looking around the room for something—anything that could help him. There was nothing there, though.
"Sakura," he called.
More tears rolled down her cheeks as she shook her head. "No, don't comment on my behavior right now," she said brokenly.
Syaoran's eyes softened, hearing exactly what she was saying. "I'm not judging you," he said. "Move over."
She pulled her legs up so he could climb in the tub with her, fully clothed.
He froze, surprised to feel the water ice cold.
I'm going to regret this later...
Once he settled in the tub with her, he grabbed the bottle of vodka from her hands and set it on the stool beside the tub. He leaned forward, grabbing her wet, cold hands between his. "You're going to be sick," he informed.
He squeezed her hands gently, and then brought them up to his lips so he could blow his breath on them as he thought about her question earlier.
"When I lost my first patient, I quit my job," he began.
He hated to think about that time because that was the lowest he had ever been in his life.
He was willing to for Sakura's sake, though.
"It was my first job in Hong Kong. Chao Wang, 26-year-old male. His death..." Syaoran stopped, feeling the back of his eyes burn with angry tears. "His death took a part of me with it. It was so sudden, so quick, yet from something so simple," he whispered the last part.
He cleared his throat. "So, I quit."
He could not feel himself able to talk about the why's and how's. He never could, so he decided that it was best to leave that part in the past.
"I asked...'How? How could anyone have a job like this? How could anyone lose someone by their own hands after they've put their all into that person?" He shook his head. "And then just move on as if that person never existed. I couldn't find the answer, so I quit because it was too much. There was no way that I could do that," he said, eyes staring at her bare legs through the clear water.
His mind was elsewhere, though. Back to the yesteryears when it all happened. The days that took part of him.
Quite frankly, he did not even want those weak parts of himself back. He felt happy that they were gone.
This is not about me...
Syaoran looked up, locking eyes with Sakura.
The tears were still present, but they were no longer freely falling. She had a look of respect, if anything else.
"So, without a job, little to no money, and no home to go to, I became homeless," he said.
Sakura sniffed, squeezing his hands gently. "You don't have to do this," she said quietly.
He smiled at her a little. "I want to. I want you to know this part of me," he said softly.
Her mouth opened, ready to speak, but he squeezed her hand a little, silencing her.
"I enjoyed it—being homeless. It felt better than having a home. It felt...safer that way. Wei begged me to come back for months, when he could find me. But, I couldn't. He just didn't understand that I couldn't come back because it would mean coming back to her, to that hospital, to the..." Syaoran trailed off, feeling his heart break at the thought of that time. "I just couldn't."
Sakura shifted in the water, causing another wave of chills to glide down his body at the cold water.
"You really don't have to do this right now," she said softly.
He shook his head, squeezing her hand. "I just want you to listen to me, so listen to me," he demanded sternly.
He thought about all those other times when she made him talk, but now she was trying to stop him. That annoyed him.
"Okay," she said quietly.
"There was this guy, I can't remember his name, but he was also homeless. He didn't talk much, but we got along great because I don't either. We would...we would go to all these..."
Suddenly, he felt ashamed of his behavior in the past for the first time.
"I didn't have enough money to get a home, but I still needed to have sex. If I went a certain amount of time without sex, I'd have withdrawals, so I'd go crazy and have it with anyone who had an ass and tits. So, he was my guy to find women, I guess. We'd go to strip clubs all the time, or pay prostitutes for sex."
He looked at her to see if she had a judgmental look on her face.
Relieved to see interest, he continued, "One day, he got really sick. I knew what it was, but he needed medical treatment for it. I held it off as long as I could, stealing anything I could from pharmacy stores, but he only got worst. The worst he got, the more my instincts told me to rush him to the hospital. It was only until he coughed up blood that I knew we had to take him to the hospital. So, I rushed him to the only hospital that I knew would take him in immediately—my previous job. They even accepted me back with opened arms..." He stopped as a smile formed across his lips. "They let me treat him. I scrubbed in on the surgery..."
He sighed. "The surgery was successful. But, afterwards, I didn't know what to do because they told me that they wanted me to come back. I talked to Wei again—or, he forced me to, at least."
Sakura smiled, nodding her head.
"It was something that he told me that made me feel okay with losing people, to accept it. He told me, 'It's okay to feel sad that you've lost someone, but don't ever think that it's your fault. People die because it's their time..." Syaoran smiled a little, remembering how kind Wei had been his entire life. "You can't save everyone, so that's why you should hold on to the people that you do save."
He looked at Sakura, relieved to see the tears had left her eyes. "Suddenly, I wanted to work again. And, so I did. After that, I didn't see the man who forced me back there anymore. I'd visit the place he always was in, but he was never there anymore. Even now...though it's rare when I go to Hong Kong, I visit that place in hopes of seeing him again to at least thank him."
Sakura let his hand go and caressed his cheek lovingly. "Thank you," she whispered.
Syaoran opened his legs, and then pulled on her hand, motioning her to come over.
Once she settled between his legs, he wrapped his arms around her cold body, shivering when her body wet his top area. "I'm going to stay the night," he said, rather than asking. "And, we're going to spend the entire day together."
Sakura sat up from the lying position on his chest, causing the cold water to brush against the dry areas on his skin.
He closed his eyes, resisting the thoughts of how cold the water is against him.
It was impossible.
"Don't you have to work?" she asked, sounding concerned.
He shook his head. "Sunday's are my days off. I choose to go in most times,' he said.
"But—"
Syaoran grabbed her shoulders gently, pulling her towards him so he could kiss her lips to silence her.
He deepened the kiss a little before pulling back. "I'm spending the day with you and that's final."
A/N: I'm so sorry for the late update! I hope I didn't kill anyone with the wait :P. I'm already half way done with the next chapter, so you guys won't have to wait this long again for another chapter.
Anyway, thanks to my beta theDeviantme for editing any mistakes(she really makes this so much easier for me!). And, thank you guys so much for the reviews, follows, and favorites! They are all still extremely flattering to me even though we are on chapter 18 now! Reviews are what really keeps me motivated to continue posting stories online. I was reading through(or attempting to :P) this story and started feeling insecure about it, and almost considered taking it down(I swear I won't!). But, after reading through the reviews, I reasoned that I wouldn't be a very good person if I did that, huh? xD. I really do appreciate you guys for expressing your opinions and thoughts about my crazy imaginations! This is the reason that I try to respond to every single one of them at any given time that I can because I really do appreciate them!
Now, I'm going to end this author's note so I can finish the rest of the next chapter tonight lol :P.
Ja ne!