"Putting the Pieces Together"
"I called Meilin back," Syaoran said as soon as the door closed in his office, wasting no time. He had a good feeling that she might ask him about this, so he just decided to get it out of the way.
"Really?" she asked, her voice showing excitement. Something he did not like.
He pulled the string of the blinds, closing the outside world from them. He turned to her with a disapproving frown on his face. "They're trying to...come here and see me," he said, his tone so tight that each word sounded clipped.
"Is that not good?" Sakura asked softly.
He walked to his desk and sat in the chair away from Sakura. He knew how he could get during these sessions, so he just wanted to avoid anything that could make things worse for her. Plus, she was sitting in his office where he longed for her to be since she left it.
"I'm not ready—I mean, I don't want to see them," he said quietly.
"Them?"
"My sisters are planning to come too and it's just..." He stopped, clenching his fists around the arms of the chair tightly to inflict any kind of pain on himself to distract these feelings. "I don't want to see them."
"How is it making you feel?" she asked.
"Awful, Sakura. I'm dreading it and it hurts, knowing that seeing them again will be a reminder of her," he said.
"So, don't then," she said softly.
He looked at her, surprised to hear her go with the opposite of good.
"If you're not ready to see them, don't. Nothing ever turns out good when you truly don't want it. Talk to them, tell them you're just not ready to see them yet," she said, a smile forming on her face.
"Yet?"
"Yes, yet. One day, even if you're 80-years-old, you're going to realize how much you want to see them. When you talked about your sisters, you had this...tone in your voice. I don't know how to describe it, but it wasn't bad. It was good, as if you do love and miss them. Deep down inside, I think that you do want to see them but you're just not ready yet," she said.
Syaoran stared at her, wondering how she can be so perfectly correct in everything she said about him. He did want to see them—all of them. From his annoying cousin, Meilin, all the way down to his youngest sister, Shiefa.
"Okay," he agreed. "I'll...talk to them, but it's not like it'll work."
"Why?" she asked curiously.
"They don't know about...her...and...me...and..." He shook his head. "They don't know about any of it, so they just won't understand."
Sakura sighed softly. "So, explain it to them in a way that they can understand. Not with specific details of the events but just how you feel. Last night, I..." she paused, piquing his interest.
"What is it?" he asked, almost impatiently.
"I fell asleep with you again after I repeatedly expressed how much I couldn't do that anymore; after I woke up alone the other night."
Syaoran frowned and stood from his desk to walk over to her. "I'm so sorry, Sakura," he said, stooping down in front of her to grab her small hands between his own. "I really am."
She pulled her hands back from him and caressed his disheveled hair. "I know, and it's not your fault. I didn't tell you about my problems, so I don't have the right to treat you that way," she said, sliding her hands down to his face.
He closed his eyes, unconsciously leaning into her loving touch that set everything in his body on fire. "I'm still sorry," he said softly.
"I know, but, I slept with you again last night," she repeated.
He opened his eyes, looking at her curiously. "You're right, you did. Why?" he asked.
"Because I realized how much I missed it—getting a good night's rest. It feels nice to sleep next to you," she said softly.
His cheeks warmed, hearing the sincerity in her tone.
"My point is, you also just don't know how it will feel to know or do something until you just do it. What are the odds of seeing them being disastrous?"
He thought about it for a moment. "I just don't want to," he said quietly.
"I know, I'm just saying that you should think about it."
"Okay. I'll think about it, but it won't change my mind about how I feel about this," he said, despite his mind already imagining his reuniting with them.
"Fair enough," she said.
He sighed, standing from the stooping position so he could sit by her on the comfortable couch. "You sound better today," he said.
She giggled softly. "This is my session, Syaoran. Don't try to lead and take my role."
He chuckled along with her laugh. "You know how I feel about this control thing. I need to feel like everything is in my favor," he said, playing along.
"Well, stop it. This is about you today, not me and my mental issues," she said, giving him a pointed look.
"What if I like to hear about your mental issues, too?" he asked, raising a brow.
"Too bad, then. That's my job," she said, sticking her tongue out at him.
They laughed, causing a light atmosphere to suffuse the room.
He missed this, a lot. It felt like it had been ages since they talked like this, even though they actually had just two days ago.
"I say we both listen to each other's mental issues," he said after they composed themselves.
"I say you stick to physically fixing people while I stick to mentally fixing people," she retorted.
Syaoran smiled, coming to the realization that she was back to her normal, witty self. Perhaps doing her job really does make her feel herself, he concluded.
"I don't want to fix other people mentally, just you," he said, winking at her.
A blush crept to her cheeks and she rolled her eyes playfully. "I don't need to be fixed, doctor," she drawled.
His eyes lit up, hearing her call him that. And, so did his body.
"I think you do," he said in a husky tone.
Her breath hitched after hearing the tone. "A-anyway, how have you been lately?" she asked, abruptly changing the subject.
He chuckled, seeing the panicked but excited look in her eyes. "Great, actually. Did I tell you about this beautiful woman I've grown an interest in?" he asked.
Her face dropped, turning a deathly pale color. "No, you didn't," she said.
"Well, I met her a few months ago, and she's perfect. She's smart, funny, intelligent, and drop dead gorgeous. I swear the list could go on, but I think I like her," he said.
"Oh."
Syaoran looked at her face and had to hold himself back from laughing at the angry red color on her face now.
"There's one downfall, though," he said. "She's my therapist, so it's hard to decide if I just feel this way about her because she makes me feel good and listens to me, or if I really do like her."
She faltered as she realized who he was referring to. "Seriously," she said, giving him a disapproving look.
He chuckled, grabbing her hand. "It's hard to tell, really. You listen to...everything. I talk about...everything with you, Sakura. That alone makes me feel good," he said, feeling bashful suddenly.
"That's not true," she said softly. "I talk, and you listen too. We both give and take in this."
He looked at her and smiled. "That's true. That's why I said I want to listen to you too, so I know that I'm not just using you to make me feel good."
She squeezed his hand gently. "The fact that you want that proves that you're not," she said.
"So, tell me. Tell me why you don't want to sleep with someone, why you had not slept with anyone besides one person. Tell me something that you struggle with," he said.
"You want to know about my past?" she asked.
"Of course, I do. I want to know everything about you," he said.
"Eiichi included? Because he is my past," she said in a soft, quiet voice.
He felt jealousy course through his blood, but he decided to put a pause on it. "Even...him," he said tightly, not even able to say his name.
"Fine," she said.
He looked at her. "Really?" he asked.
"If you tell me more about the woman who gave birth to you," she negotiated.
He glared at her, pulling his hand from hers. "No," he said quickly.
"There's my answer then," she said in a finalizing tone.
"That's not fair, though. I've told you a ton of shit about that bitch already," he argued.
"I'm not changing my answer," she said, her tone sounding serious.
She was trying to manipulate more answers out of him about his past when he felt that he told her enough.
He could not help but wonder if she was purposely trying to take advantage of his feelings and interest in her, for her own benefit.
For the first time in a long time, he realized how she was trying to manipulate him.
He looked at her face, seeing a smile on her face.
"I'm being manipulative, I know, but, how else are you going to get better if you can't talk about your past?" she asked.
So, he thought about it, thought about it some more, and thought again before he realized how right she was.
"Okay," he said softly.
"I'll go first," she said.
His fists clenched, wanting to hit something to make him feel better. But there was also a small portion that made him feel the slightest bit happy that she would let him understand her.
"If I tell you something big, your answer has to match mine," she said.
His lips formed into a thin line as he stiffly nodded, fearing her answer now.
"I was strangled in my sleep," she said as if it were no big deal.
He stared at her, looking to see if this had any kind of effect on her. There was nothing in her eyes that gave anything away, though.
She smiled at him softly. "And when I woke up, it was to nothing. I was alone..." She looked him in the eyes with a sad smile on her face. "That's why I..." she trailed off. She sighed, and then continued, "That's why waking up alone freaks me out and makes me feel like everyone's going to leave me alone to die."
His fist clenched, itching to punch the person who did this to her. "Who was it, Sakura?" he asked tightly.
She sighed, shaking her head. "It doesn't matter who it was," she said softly. "It's all just a misunderstandin—"
"Was it that bastard?" he asked.
She frowned, leaning back on the couch to relax. "Eiichi is not a bastard," she said.
"It was that son of a bitch!" he bellowed, standing up.
She grabbed his arm, yanking him back down. "Keep your voice down," she hissed.
"What—"
"It's not like that, okay? He's... It's not like that, so just leave it alone," she said softly.
He huffed, snatching his arm from her grasps angrily. He could admit that he had hurt her on numerous occasions, but he never did anything to physically harm her, and he never would.
"It's...your turn now," she said hesitantly.
He froze, remembering their deal. He had not even thought about what he would tell her. She had told him something traumatizing, which meant that he would have to, too.
"I..." he paused, unclenching his fists when he felt the palms of his hands going sweaty.
He was quiet for a minute before he looked at her, knowing exactly what he could tell her.
"Every year on my birthday, she would...do something to hurt me," he said quietly.
Her eyes widened, mouth opening slightly.
"It was something different every year."
He could feel his body getting heated with anger at the vivid memories. "Every year, for fifteen years until I realized that she really didn't love me," he said, voice wavering a bit.
His eyes fell to her neck, seeing a very light, faint scar. He began to unbutton his dark blue button-down shirt slowly.
Once he reached the last button, he stopped, realizing his hands are trembling.
He was a little surprised that Sakura had not said or done anything to stop him, so he unbuttoned the last one.
He took a deep, shaky breath before shaking his shoulders to get the expensive material to fall, showing off his bare chest.
He stood from the couch and turned over, revealing a dark red scar that reached from the middle of his waist to his hip on the right side.
Sakura gasped, covering her mouth as she stared at the ugly bruise.
"It was my fifteenth birthday. As usual, she would shower me in her love before...snapping out of it," he said, sitting back down beside her, but avoiding all eye contact. He would not be able to take the sight of disgust on her face. Disgust of him.
"It was a great day when I think about it. She took me out and we had a good time like we always did on my birthday," he said, consciously living the moment again in his head.
"It came out of nowhere. We were in the kitchen after coming inside from swimming and..." He stopped, feeling the pain all over again from the steaming pan his mother had surprised him with.
He felt a soft hand grab his arm, distracting him from the reminder of the pain.
"I hate her, Sakura," he said passionately, meaning every word he spoke. "I really do."
"I know," she said softly.
"For fifteen years, I believed that she loved me because of one fucking day out of the year. The day she would act like she did love me for a few hours before punishing me for doing it. I fucking hate her," he said, clenching his fists.
"Syao—"
"I hate her because she makes me love this pain. She makes me want to feel pain. How fucked up is that?" he asked with a humorless laugh.
"Really?" Sakura asked, sounding as if she had known everything all along.
Of course, she does.
He let out a sigh. "Yes. A few weeks ago, I told you that physical pain feels better than any other pain...and I meant that. When she physically harmed me, it gave me some hope that she did love me; that she wanted to have something to do with me. It felt so good...so damn good, and it still does. The pain gives me that hope of finally having her love..." he trailed off, realization finally dawning on him.
"Shit, I'm damaged goods, aren't I?" he asked, looking at her with a troubled look on his face.
She smiled at him sadly and slid her hand up his muscular arms to his shoulders, making him shiver. "Damaged goods that can be fixed," she said softly.
He grabbed her face gently, so she could look directly in his eyes. "Fix me then," he almost begged before he pulled her face to his to kiss her lips gently.
He dropped his hands to her hips immediately and lifted her with ease to place her on his lap as their tongues rubbed against each other's. Their hands began to caress and touch any part of each other's body that they could before Sakura pulled her lips back from the passionate kiss to catch her breath.
She began to kiss down to his neck, making a smile form on Syaoran's lips when he felt them kiss the purple bruise she had given him yesterday. He could not help the excitement that coursed through his body at the reminder of her soft lips sucking on him so hard with the intent to claim him. If he were being honest, at this point, he was sure that she could convince him to do anything for her.
He moaned when her tongue lightly brushed against his neck. He felt her lips curve against his neck before she nipped at his neck hard, making his hips jerk up against her for friction. She licked against the skin, and let her tongue drag further down his body.
He tried to take even breaths the more she placed kisses and licks over his chest, but it was hard to when this felt so great. She felt great against him.
When her hands dropped to his pants, he looked down at her, surprised that his eyes were even closed. A loud groan slipped past his mouth when her tongue flicked against his nipple, making him blush. "Sakura," he moaned, gyrating his hips against hers as she raked her nails against one of his nipples, while her mouth sucked on the other.
He was always a sensitive man, but never had he ever gotten pleasure from this.
She kissed further down his body until her lips hovered over the scar. "I'm so sorry, Syaoran..." she said brokenly.
His eyes softened, looking at her. "Sakura," he called softly, attempting to pull her up by the shoulders, but she swatted his hand away with a smile.
"No," she said, kissing down the mark on his side slowly, as she moved down to the floor between his parted legs. "I want to do this."
"You don't have to," he said, breath catching in his throat when her fingers began to unbutton his pants.
"I want to make you feel good," she said, attempting to pull his pants down. "No one will walk in, right chief?"
His eyes scanned the room frantically, looking for something—anything to help keep him from exploding in her face so soon after hearing her call him that. "N-no, the door automatically...locks," he said, voice sounding confused. He lifted his hips, helping her pull them down.
"Perfect," she said, rubbing him over his boxers, making his hips rise from the couch to match each down stroke she did.
"Sakura," he moaned, resting his hand on her cheeks to caress her.
She pulled his boxers down and stroked him a little more while looking up at him. "Can I taste you?" she asked coyly, running her thumb against the slit of his head.
"Sakura!" he called, hips jerking off the couch towards her.
"Is that a yes?" she asked teasingly.
He groaned loudly. "Please!" he pleaded when she breathed against the head.
He had never begged anyone for a release before, but Sakura was torturing him. He had no choice, he reasoned when the small voice in the back of his head told him that he is weak.
She put him out of his misery by taking a hold of him and licking up the vein on the underside. He moaned, sliding his hands in her soft, auburn hair. When she reached the head again, she licked the slit, tasting the precum, causing him to grip her soft locks tightly and jerk towards her face uncontrollably.
She looked up through her lashes at him. "Syaoran," she called.
"Please," he whimpered desperately, making her giggle.
Eyes still locked with his, she took the head of him into her mouth, sucking tightly.
"Fuck, Sakura!" he hissed, loosening his grip on her hair.
She took more of him into her mouth while letting her tongue lap on the underside of him with each bob of her head. With each time she slid her mouth down, she took more of him into her mouth while sucking tightly, making him moan loudly with each caress of her tongue. Whenever her mouth rose from his hips with each up and down movement, her hand tightened around him.
His grip tightened in her hair again when her teeth grazed against him lightly, nearly sending him over the edge. The way she moaned around him was too much; looked him in the eyes through her lashes, while using her mouth to pleasure him like this was too much. It was all too much.
He struggled to keep his eyes opened, wanting to watch every move she made, hear every sound she released around him. He wanted to see, hear, and feel all of it. It was starting to get hard to breath as his body shook with the need to release his load into her mouth. He was never vocal during any kind of sexual activity, but this felt better than any other time he had someone else doing this to him.
When her hand moved down and grabbed his balls, rubbing them gently, his grip tightened in her hair, guiding her head to move up and down faster, but not forcefully. He wanted her to continue how she wanted to, but it was so hard to let her lead when her mouth felt so good.
The familiar tingling sensation settled in his balls, notifying him that he would come. "Fuck, Sakura, I'm going to come," he moaned loudly, using all his will to hold himself back from thrusting up into her mouth at an uncontrollable pace.
She swallowed around him, rubbing and sucking him harder and faster. "Sakura!" he nearly yelled through heavy breaths. "I can't...hold out much more. Let me be inside of you," he begged, letting his hips thrust towards her face with each down movement of her head.
She stopped, releasing him with a popping sound. She wiped the side of her mouth as the line of saliva disconnected from her mouth and him.
"Fuck, that's so hot," he said, pulling her up onto his lap again so he could kiss her hard.
He began to unbuckle her pants in a swift motion and yanked them down roughly. He pulled her shirt over her head, only breaking their lips apart briefly to get the article of clothing off.
"I want you against my desk," he said into her mouth as he lifted them both up, making her wrap her legs around him tightly.
He walked them over to his desk and placed her behind on the cold desk after pushing some of the papers to the side. He chuckled when she let out a shuddering sound as he pulled the rest of her pants down, throwing them on the chair carelessly. He stared at the damp area on her panties and smirked. "You're so wet," he said, reaching behind her to unclasp her bra. "Why are you so wet?"
Her breath caught in her throat when one of his hands moved down to rub between her legs over her panties while the other massaged her left breast. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down to kiss her lips as his fingers continued to glide up and down between her lips, dampening her panties more.
He moaned in her mouth and began to pull her panties down quickly, ripping a few of the seams because she was still sitting. He moved his mouth to her breast after grazing his teeth against her collarbone, and suck on her nipple hungrily. He grabbed her bare behind, pulling her to the edge of the desk so he could rub his dick between her wet lips teasingly. "You never answered my question," he said, dropping to the floor on his knees in front of her spread legs to lick her.
Her fingers threaded in his hair as his tongue lapped at her wet core, making her moan so loud that he was sure that someone might hear if they walked past his office. He could not care, though.
After sucking on the bundle of nerves a bit, he sat up, not able to take it anymore. He pulled her off his desk and turned her around to face his desk. He pushed the papers and keyboard off the desk, so he could place her hands flat on the desk as he rubbed himself against her backside. He kissed her shoulder, licking at the skin teasingly as his hand grabbed her hips tightly. "Answer the question, Sakura," he demanded tightly in her ear, licking up the edge of it.
She moaned, throwing her head back against his shoulder. "You feel so good," she said, pushing back against him.
He groaned, pushing her upper body down to lay on the desk so she could bend over for him. He positioned himself over her and leaned down to kiss the side of her neck, letting his lips slide up her neck slowly until he reached her ear. "You look so beautiful in this position," he said, resting his hands on her ass cheeks, squeezing them.
"Take me then," she said in a breathy moan.
He pushed himself inside her fully, moaning at the sensation of her walls engulfing him. She felt even tighter in this position.
His hands slid down to her hips and he began to thrust in and out of her slowly. He moved his hands further over, so he could trap his hands between her hips and the desk to avoid the edge of the desk digging in her skin. His hips began to meet her behind quicker and quicker with each thrust as he went deeper.
Her moans were only encouraging him to slam harder into her each time he did as they both moaned louder.
"Sakura," he groaned.
"Oh, Syaoran!" she moaned loudly, pushing back against him with each thrust.
He leaned down, kissing her ear as one of his hands slid up to her breast, grasping it. "Call me Dr. Li," he demanded huskily in her ear, slowing down his pace.
She moaned, sitting up slightly to hold on to the edge of his desk. "D-Dr. Li," she whimpered in a quiet voice.
He groaned into her shoulder, picking up the pace again, bringing their bodies to new heights of pleasure.
"Louder," he said, pounding into her harder.
"Dr. Li!" she exclaimed as his pace quickened.
He groaned loudly into her ear. "I'm going to come," he said in a strained tone, letting his hand slide down to her wet core as he pushed in and out of her harder.
He rubbed her clit quickly as he nibbled on her ear to increase her pleasure. He wanted her to come with him.
She trembled against his desk, hips grinding into the edge of the desk as she screamed his name. He noticed this but could not help but keep pounding into her to get her there.
"Dr.—Syaoran!" she screamed, tightening around him.
Syaoran grunted, picking up his speed as his hands held her hips tightly so he could ride himself into oblivion with her.
"Come for me," she said in a breathy tone, sending him over the edge.
His eyes closed, seeing stars in the back of them as his balls had that familiar tingling sensation again. "Sakura," he groaned after a few more strokes, spilling himself inside of her.
He slumped against her with all his weight, making her squirm underneath him. "That was..." he trailed off, at a loss for words.
It just seemed to get better each time they did this.
"Amazing," Sakura finished for him. "I'd like to live, though."
He noticed all his weight on her, so he stood up, pulling her with him. He kissed the side of her neck before sucking on it tightly.
She moaned in protest weakly. "I still have to walk out of this place," she complained half-heartedly.
He kissed the mark on her neck in plain sight before pulling back. "I love seeing you marked by me," he whispered against her neck. "That's the last one. For now."
He pulled out of her carefully, watching their mixed cum drip down her thigh. He groaned, kissing her sweaty back one last time. He moved back so she could stand up straight.
She hissed when she tried, alerting him.
"What's wrong?" he asked, his voice laced with concern immediately.
She was quiet for a moment. "Uh..." she hesitated. "It's nothing."
He grabbed her shoulders, turning her to him. "Are you sure—?"
"Positive," she said quickly. "We should go, right?" She looked at the clock.
"You're right. I have to be back here not too long from now."
He leaned down, kissing her lips gently. "Thank you..." he whispered against them.
She giggled, pulling back from him. "You know that you don't have to thank me every time we do this like I'm doing you a favor," she said.
He wrapped his arms around her small waist, pulling her close to him. She gasped, feeling his erection poke her stomach. "Okay." And he kissed her one last time before moving away from her.
He walked over to the couch and put his clothes back on, feeling fully satisfied. When he heard Sakura hiss again as she pulled up her panties, he looked in her direction, eyes automatically falling on her hips.
Shame and guilt immediately washed over him, seeing the angry red scratches on either side of her hips.
"Shit." He walked over to her after slipping his shirt back on. "I'm so sorry, Sakura."
He dropped to his knees in front of her to observe the bruises. "I can go to the third floor and get somethi—"
"Syaoran, I'm fine," she said, smiling to reassure him.
He frowned. "You're not, Sakura. Just let me," he said, already standing from the floor and walking towards the door.
Sakura was quick to grab him before he could turn the knob. "No. I said that I'm fine," she said tightly, almost warning him not to do this.
He looked at her brokenly, turning to her with a guilt written expression. "I hurt you, Sakura. If you don't let me do something about it, I won't be able to forgive myself," he said brokenly.
She let out a soft sigh, nodding her head. "Okay," she said.
"Sit here, I'll be right back," he said.
She nodded, and he opened the door, leaving her in the room to wait for him.
Sakura pulled back from his lips, giggling as he tried to pull her back in.
They had been tangled in his sheets having sex since they walked through his apartment doors after leaving the hospital. She was exhausted, but still had not had enough of him yet.
"You're going to be late if you don't get up," she said as he showered her body with more kisses.
He chuckled, nuzzling her neck. "I don't care," he said in a low, dark tone.
Her fingers raked through his wet, matted hair. They were covered in sweat, yet they still could not call an end to it.
"You do," she said, wrapping one leg around him.
He groaned, kissing her neck again. "I know. I just wish I could stay here with you all day," he said in a pouting tone.
She giggled, holding him close to her. "I do too, but you have lives to save."
He let out a content sigh, nodding his head. "Now, that I do," he said, sitting up on the bed.
Sakura sat up with him weakly, all the muscles in her body feeling like jelly. They had been having sex for the past two hours non-stop, so she was exhausted.
"I'm going to take a quick shower and leave. Want to join me?" he asked, wagging his brows at her suggestively.
She laughed, pushing him up from the bed weakly. "Go shower or you're not going to make it in time," she said playfully.
He chuckled, kissing her one last time before he disappeared into the bathroom.
She was finally left alone, giving her time to think.
She felt much better today than she had for these past few days. That was all she needed —to do what she loved the most to feel herself again.
Even though she still felt bummed about not being able to save one of her patients, she still had others that she could save before it would be too late.
She took Syaoran's advice, accepting that she could not save everyone, but she could hold on to the people that she could. Thinking that way made her feel ten times better than anything else.
Now, she had more patients to save, including the man currently occupying the shower right now.
She was glad to find out more about him, even if she had manipulated some answers out of him. How could she care, though? She wanted to know more about him; how he became the man he is.
For some reason, it was beginning to feel like she wanted to know more about him for herself, rather than for his health as a psychologist. She felt bad about it, but whenever she would find out more about him, the feeling was just too great to stop feeling that way about wanting to know for herself.
"You doing math in your head, kiddo?" a voice said, snapping her out of her thoughts.
She looked in his direction, and smiled, seeing him only covered with a white towel around his waist. Her head tilted slightly so she could have another look at the mark on the side of his waist. She still could not understand how she missed that bruise mark when she had seen him naked multiple times. But then, she remembered that it was always dark in the room when they were together.
"Math was my least favorite subject, so why would I do that?" she asked, smiling at him.
"Exactly why I asked. Your face looked lost," he said, chuckling at her.
She laughed, shaking her head.
"Did I tell you?" he asked, walking over to his dresser.
"What?" she asked, watching him grab out clothes.
"I think we may have been a little too loud," he said in a teasing tone.
Her brows scrunched together in confusion. "When?" she asked.
"At the hospital, I had more than a few comments from several doctors I walked past when I went to get that ointment for your hip.
Her eyes widened, almost missing the guilt evident in his face at the mention of her hip.
"I told you, it wasn't a big deal..." she said, watching him dress slowly now.
Despite her saying that, she could feel her cheeks flaming hot at the reminder of their scene at the hospital. "Really?" she asked in a small, shy voice.
He burst out laughing as he buttoned his shirt up. "Did you seriously expect no one to hear?" he asked.
She covered her face with her hands. "This is so embarrassing..." she said behind her hands.
"No one knows it was you, so calm down," he said nonchalantly.
Her eyes widened, and she jumped from the bed. "Did you see Aki?" she asked.
She remembered him talking about the rumors going around the hospital about Syaoran not sleeping around anymore.
"Is that who you're worried about?" he asked, his tone showing disapproval.
"Of course! He can't find out about this," she said in a determined tone.
Syaoran stopped dressing and turned to her with an expression that she read as anger. "Why? He doesn't matter. In fact, I want him, of all people to know about it," he said.
"Syaoran, stop, you're not going to do that," she said in a warning tone. "You're not going to, right?"
He sighed exasperatedly. "Calm down. I hate when you look like that," he said, turning away from her so he could continue to get dressed.
"Like what?" she asked.
"Scared, frightened that I would ever do something to intentionally hurt you. I'm not like that anymore," he said the last part softly.
Her heart fluttered, hearing the sincerity in his tone. "So, you won't?" she asked hesitantly, staring at the angry red scratch marks on his back from her nails.
Her cheeks warmed at the reminder of how deep and hard he had taken her.
"As much as I want to throw it in that bastard's face, I won't," he said.
She released a relieved sigh, not even aware that she had been holding her breath. "Good. He can't find out," she said without thinking.
Syaoran turned to her with his brows scrunched together in confusion. "Why?" he asked curiously.
"Uh..." she stuttered, suddenly remembering that he did not know about Akinari knowing about their sessions.
Would he become angry or upset?
"I just don't want my best friend knowing about my sex life," she decided on with a shrug.
He frowned. "Okay," he said.
And she was happy that he left it alone.
"So, you're going to be here when I get off?" he asked, fixing his tie.
"What time do you get—"
"Crap, never mind. I may not come back until later tomorrow evening," he said.
It was her turn to frown now. "What?"
"I'm not trying to get into the routine of working late night shifts, so, I—"
"Do you have to?" she asked quietly.
"I don't have to, but I can't just take off all these hours and not make up for them—"
"Then, don't. You'll overdo it," she said, ignoring everything else he said after hearing he did not have to. "You don't want to do that."
He walked over to her, sitting on the bed beside her.
She covered her naked body from his wandering eyes bashfully, even though they had been naked for hours now.
"I'll think about it," he said, leaning over to kiss her lips briefly before he stood up.
She smiled, already knowing what that answer meant. He would come home early.
"I'll see you later, okay?" he said.
She nodded with a grin on her face. "I'll miss you," she said.
"I'll call as much as I can," he said, kissing her forehead before he left the room, leaving her alone.
Perhaps she was getting a little bit too spoiled, she noted.
"Are you sure that you're not making this up?"
Syaoran sighed, only a little annoyed with his friend, or employer.
"I swear that I'm not. It's no one at the hospital," he said, signing more paperwork that was due soon. He wanted to get ahead.
"Who is it then? The whole hospital's talking about it," Dr. Haruka said.
"Discussing my sex life, as usual, huh," he said, not the least bit fazed by it. It was always like this. Except, this time, it was not with anyone at the hospital.
"Dude, who is it? Is it a girlfriend? A fling? A patient! Oh Li, I never expected that from you—"
"It's not a patient, man. Look, can I work?" He asked, still working.
In all honesty, Syaoran was getting a little entertainment out of this. Most of the time, everyone knew who his partners were because they would all comment and rate the women he slept with to determine if he was just plain old out desperate. But, now, no one knew besides him and Sakura. And sure enough, he did not want anyone else looking at Sakura and trying to rate her appearance and how good she looked in bed.
It was only for his eyes to see, he reasoned stubbornly.
"So, it's a girlfriend?" he asked.
"No, Haraka—are you done? You're not going to find out who she is."
"Man, I would love to at least know since I can't even meet her. I heard that she sounds hella hot—"
Syaoran slammed his fist on the desk angrily to shut him. "Even if you do know who she is, you're not even going to look in her direction," he threatened in a dangerous tone.
"Damn, Li. Calm down, okay? I love my wife and kids, so you don't have anything to worry about," Dr. Haruka said, chuckling.
"Good," he said shortly.
"So, you're serious about this one?" he asked.
Syaoran stopped scribbling and turned to him, ready to scold the man, but stopped when he realized he could not come up with anything.
Am I?
"I'm interested in her," he said.
"Okay...you're interested in every girl you sleep with, obviously," he said.
Syaoran grimaced at his response, hating that Sakura could be put in the category as every other woman he had slept with. "No, it's different this time," he said.
"So, you're serious about her?" Dr. Haruka said in a teasing tone.
"Okay, it's time for you to leave now," Syaoran said, pointing to the door seriously.
Dr. Haruka laughed, standing up from the couch.
Syaoran stared at it a bit longer after Dr. Haruka left, remembering a certain event that had taken place there earlier. Sakura had given him the most pleasurable act anyone could ever ask for.
He groaned, feeling his body grow unbearably sensitive, despite them having sex non-stop, three hours ago for two hours.
He looked away from the couch, not wanting to give in to the urge of getting himself off. He already had to one time today when he walked through his office doors, seeing his desk; the same one that he had taken her from behind on. And he did not have the time for a repeat, especially if he wanted to get home tonight.
Everything was great. He was happy, Sakura was happy, so there was nothing that he had to stress about. Well, there is one thing that does bother him; more like a who, and that was Akinari.
He could not place his finger on what he does not like about the man. Was it his existence? His occupation? His demeanor? Or, was it just his name since Sakura use it to much around him?
His fingers gripped the pen, thinking about her not wanting him to find out about them. He just wanted to understand why she did not want him, of all people, to know. It was not like the man knew about his and Sakura's session, so what else could there be, he wondered.
Syaoran sighed, opening the file cabinet beside his desk. He needed to find out more about this man since Sakura was so adamant on keeping him around.
He let out another exasperated sigh at the thought of that. He would just have to learn more. And it would all start with finding out his name, since he remembered Sakura talking about Akinari hating it.
He looked through the files in alphabetical order by last name.
After he found the folder, he pulled it out, opening it immediately.
What is he trying to hide...?
His eyes scanned through the first page before they landed on the top where his name is.
A smirk crept to Syaoran's lips as his eyes kept reading over the name repeatedly.
Maybe he could use this to his advantage...
So sorry for the late update, guys! Next week is finals, and I'll be done with school for the summer, so the updates will be more frequently! As usual, thanks to my beta, theDeviantme, for editing, and thank you guys for the support! I think I responded to all of the reviews :). Let me know what you guys thought of this chapter, considering a lot of secrets were revealed here xD.
Uhh...I think I need to address one review that was a guest just to inform everyone of the things that you may be assuming about the story. My intent here is not to romanticize any kind of mental illnesses or a toxic relationship. It's safe to say that Syaoran does have feelings for Sakura and it's not because of his addiction. He does depend on her with some things, but it is only natural for a person who has been through what he's been through, to cling to the person who shows him any kind of love. In a relationship(though they're not officially in a relationship), it's only natural for a person to feel like they can depend on their partner with some things. This could go for friendships or any type of relationship too, hence, why people say, "If I need anything, I could depend on you." Syaoran was disrespectful in the beginning of this story because of the way he viewed every thing and one. He knows his wrongdoings now and he's trying to change for the better because he wants to. Changing isn't something easy, but I feel like if you really want to change(which he does, since he came to a psychologist), then you try your best to become a better person. Same with men who start as playboys, and realize the error of their ways when they find that one person, and they decide to commit to them. Emotional manipulation is involved in this story because that's just psychology...
Psychologists manipulate people to open up and tell them about their problems(Reverse Psychology is a thing too that is very manipulative). Syaoran is an aggressive guy, or was in the beginning, but never to the point that he would hurt anyone physically. He hated Sakura in the beginning, so of course he expressed his hatred for her. He's a toxic person who is trying to get help to become a better person, so there is nothing wrong with this. But, this kind of story is touching on very heavy topics, so I don't expect everyone to take a liking to it and have the same view about things the way I do. I just don't want any of you to think that I'm promoting these type of behaviors(in the beginning of the story) and problems as something positive, when it's not. (Also, thanks to the reviewers who defended me lol).
Anyway, the next chapter should be out soon, so you guys won't have to wait this long again!
Ja ne!