Chapter 23

Much to Scarlett's satisfaction, Rhett stayed on at Tara for the rest of the day. While she could think of nothing else to say to him, since every meaningful word had been said and every other word would appear superficial, she settled down to mulling over the next step of action she could take. Whenever her eyes rested for a fleeting second over Rhett's carefully coiffed black hair and swarthy brown face, she felt her heart tearing to pieces with yearning. She wanted to be as carefree as she was with him during the days before the war. She wanted to feel alive again and safe. And she diverted all her energies to her calculating mind. There must be some way she could show Rhett that she had the courage to step out and make him happy.

With these thoughts in mind, she walked into the kitchen where Suellen was supervising the cooks over supper.

"Suellen, we simply must have a barbeque here at Tara just like we used to during the old days. I know a place just by the river- I could plan it all. I know I could. Think of our children growing up without ever knowing how we used to court swains and make acquaintances during the old times. Wade is so tight lipped, I sometimes worry that he would grow up utterly humourless-"

Suellen laughed to herself as she watched the cook ladle out the gravy. "Scarlett, I would give anything to have those days back again." she said wistfully. "We were so young and so full of dreams and ideas-"

"But we can have those days back again!" interrupted Scarlett, emphatically.

Suellen looked nonplussed.

"I'm not dreaming of the old days. I am talking about throwing a barbeque right here at Tara. I can arrange it!"

Suellen's mouth hung open in surprise and scorn. "What do mean? You aren't serious?! Oh, Scarlett!" Just then Will entered from the back door. He sat down at the kitchen table and casually munched into an apple.

"I don't see how things have changed. We could cook meat and pork and invite our old friends. That spot by the river is just fine. We could dam it up if the water's too high- And there's a sloping grassland that is just perfect for running and having all kinds of games. And we could even tie swings for the girls-"

"And who are you going to get to help cook the food? We haven't got enough field hands to prepare the place, cook the food, clean up afterwards-"

"I'll hire free blacks" effused Scarlett, feeling rather drunk from her wild idea.

"That would never work!" snapped Suellen at once in a mix of embarrassment and anger. She looked at Will and then back at Scarlett.

"Why not? I know I can afford-"

Suellen's face grew white. "It's not about the money, Scarlett! You can have all the money in the world but..but.. Surely you can't be serious, Scarlett. In the old days, we had our own faithful fieldhands- our people.. and quality folks coming to our barbeque dinners. Now, everything's changed. Free blacks?! Just how would they get along with our own house servants? They'd look at us with impudence just like how the Yankees have taught them to. And what about the general air of the party? What could we talk about except the old times and ways? If you still insist on going ahead with this, you would only succeed in rattling our neighbours!"

Scarlett thought for a beat. Then she cheered up again. "Then, we'll do the work. If we could get out into the fields and pick and seed cotton, why can't we set up a hot stove and cook meat? We could serve the food ourselves and-"

Suellen flushed hard at this too. She angrily flung down a hand towel and stormed out muttering, "She's stirring up trouble and I won't be a part of it!"

Will watched Scarlett quietly as she voiced her own discontent with life. "Scarlett, just why do you want to do this?" he asked at last.

Scarlett looked at Will and for a moment, the certainty with which she looked and spoke to Suellen faltered and she felt Will could pierce into her innermost thoughts with his quiet gaze. "I'm not trying to stir trouble or rattle anyone. I miss the old fun we used to have and I want to bring it back. Why should we have to walk around moping when we could live as we pleased? And what is the use of upholding traditional values when the world has changed so much? Free blacks or field-hands..they are still people and they will work for wages. I know I can manage them!"

Will stood up and gazed hard at Scarlett. "Yes, but Scarlett, would you be willing to step out?"

"What do you mean?"

"No everyone can think as clear headed as you."

"I don't think people are going to fight over a barbeque."

"I didn't mean that."

"Then, what did you mean?"

Will smiled to himself. "I'll talk to Suellen. We'll decide who to call and how to take everyone to that place you mentioned. You can plan the rest. I know you have good intentions, Scarlett. But sometimes that is just not enough. Sometimes you need to take the risk and have the courage to really step out-"

Scarlett looked back him and quietly nodded.