Chapter 14: Gifting this Goddess with a Nostalgic Memento!
Part 1
With the prohibition on Manatite ore mining still in effect, Axel couldn't take advantage of its newly discovered resource.
The danger of a migrating Mystic Spider detecting this mine and choosing it as its new nest was still apparent, and thus access was blockaded by physical barriers, magic wards, and constant security.
We defeated the Mystic Spider, but the mine is still compromised.
"But still, you've done a wonderful service, Kazuma-san," Luna-san had said. "The guild already had concerns about that dungeon, as its high difficulty proves a constant hazard to dumbass noobs…I mean, inexperienced adventurers. And now we can restrict access to that dungeon with a proper excuse…I mean, a proper justification."
"…I find it somewhat strange that nobody knew about the abandoned mine underneath that sham of a dungeon," I said.
"We have reason to believe that this mining operation was carried out clandestinely by a corrupt individual, or maybe even an organization. They must have somehow discovered the abundant Manatite ore resource at the deepest level of Bonekeep dungeon, and sought to take advantage of the precious resource. From then on it was a simple matter of hiring desperate people looking for work regardless of the risks, to cultivate the ore. And as for what happened to these people, well…"
A long abandoned illegal operation underneath the most dangerous dungeon in town.
What a pain in the ass side-quest I've stumbled into.
One which I had no intention in undertaking, thank you very much.
"Um, I do owe Kazuma-san reward money for mapping out the previously undiscovered last floor of Bonekeep dungeon, but, um…"
Luna-san hesitated.
You don't really need the money, do you?
That was what her eyes were saying.
In the end, I decided to donate the reward money to what had now become, as the Axel police force started calling it, the 'Aniki Initiative', an ambitious program with the intention to get delinquents off the streets and have them serving the town as full-fledged adventurers.
The police described my self-directed, largely (fully) improvised behavioural correction of those delinquents as 'an unprecedented success in the field of correctional services'.
If my disinterested instruction, and practice of non-consensual doping with experimental pseudo-voodoo-woodoo substances, was considered some kind of unprecedented achievement in delinquent rehabilitation, it was more a matter of the Axel police-force really needing to get their shit together, than anything.
Well, let's put that matter behind us for now.
A few days had passed since that incident, and in those days Chris continued to stay with us as a temporary housemate.
Chris was a low-maintenance person, and she was polite and did well to respect our privacy and personal boundaries.
The perfect housemate.
But in regards to Darkness…
Those two as a duo were insufferable.
Whenever those two were getting all friendly with one another, I always felt like a stranger in my own home.
It was akin to having a roommate who always brought their lover over.
A kind of alienating, awkward atmosphere.
And my rising frustration continued to mount due to someone else…
"Hey, Megumin, about that 'talk'…"
"A-Ah! T-Thanks for reminding me, Kazuma! I have a girls' talk with the others tonight! That's what you were referring to, right? Well, good night, Kazuma! Be sure to sleep early! Hahahaha…ha."
I was given this kind of treatment.
What was it? Cold feet? Having second thoughts?
Back in the home of the Crimson Demons, this was the same girl who said bold things that could be interpreted as a confession!
This was probably the effect of daily life.
The lull of complacency…
The thought of 'Ah, it's OK if I don't do anything. Things will take care of themselves, somehow.'
…A.K.A., the state of procrastination.
As for myself, I was also starting to fall into this same unmoving state.
The habits of diligence I had developed under Iris's strict supervision, during that time we were preparing for the tournament, had begun to atrophy due to disuse.
There was simply no reason to try anymore. Every potential antagonist had been dealt with. At this point, in manga and anime, if a new villain were to show up, it would just be a method of prolonging a successful series.
However…
Compared to the absurd situations we kept getting pulled into, with ancient killing machines and poisonous slimes and panty stealing Devil Kings and the sociopath daughter of said Devil King, this period of invariancy didn't seem so bad.
There was a feeling of reassurance in such rigid patterns.
Like the gratuitous use of references to other franchises.
Or a series that constantly alludes to its title to lazily emphasize the themes contained and explored within it.
There is comfort in such echoing, clichéd constants.
And so I continued to exist in these reverberating days…
"Kazuma-kun, wake up!"
…Until that one night.
Part 2
Waking up on a moonlit night with a beautiful girl looking over you.
"Chris? That's strange. I was certain that I requested for…"
"Hm? Request? What are you talking about? Get up, Kazuma-kun! I have important matters to discuss with you! Senpai is already waiting for us in the living room!"
Ah.
So this wasn't the choice of the Succubus;Shop.
It was a good thing that Chris explained the situation so fluidly, or I might have done something that would make interactions between us awkward from that point on.
Chris instructed me to use 'Lurk' as we descended down the stairs.
We soon made it to the living room.
"Senpai, I have Kazuma-kun. Now let's start our…"
We were met with the sight of Aqua sprawled all over the couch.
"ZZZzzzzzzZZZZ…"
Disgraceful in wake, atrocious in her sleep.
This was the so-called goddess Aqua.
"Wake up, Senpai!"
"Wah, huh? W-W-What's going on?! Where's the intruder?!"
Chris quickly covered Aqua's blabbering mouth. "Shhhh!"
"Kouhai? Why are you…? Oh, right. You want me to participate in your roleplaying."
"This isn't role…! This is actually serious, Senpai!"
"Sheesh, Kouhai. Be quiet, won't you? What if you wake everyone up?"
"Guh!"
I placed a hand on Chris's shoulder before she did anything drastic.
"So, what was this important thing Chris wanted to talk about?" I asked.
Chris glared at Aqua before taking a deep and calming breath.
"Remember the lost artifacts I mentioned before? Well, I've detected the presence of one of them here, in Axel town."
"!"
One of those dangerous artifacts had made its way to Axel?
The activities of the Chivalrous Thief had been mostly restricted to the capital, as that was where the surplus of lost artifacts were located.
After all, only those corrupt nobles would have the means and the malicious intent to collect such dangerous items.
And in terms of corrupt nobles in Axel…
"Ah, it's that Alderp fatass again, isn't it?" I asked.
The very same Alderp who almost had me hanged for accidentally blowing up his mansion.
"N-No, it is not Lord Alderp. Though, I do suspect that he has an artifact himself, but I haven't had a chance to confirm it. I had to make my retreat from the capital before I had a chance to check. Ah, by the way, Lord Alderp is currently residing in his villa at the capital, so he's not even in Axel right now."
"Well, aside from him, there aren't really a lot, or any, nobles living here," I said, "or anyone with the resources to possess an artifact, for that matter."
Most adventurers in Axel couldn't even afford the Manatite crystals from Wiz's store.
For some reason, Aqua was looking at me intently.
"Corrupt, and possessing the resources to obtain such powerful items, huh? Don't tell me…it's Kazuma?!"
"Although Kazuma-kun does meet the criteria, it is not him, Senpai."
They had no faith in me whatsoever.
"Well, to start with, have you noticed the amount of outsiders in Axel recently, Kazuma-kun?"
Outsiders…
Even though I haven't been outside recently, I did notice before that there were strangely dressed people who often gathered outside of our mansion.
And when we visited Wiz and Vanir the other day, some of their customers, who appeared to be out-of-towners, made quite a fuss after seeing us.
"Those people are actually tourists! The thing is, due to Kazuma-kun and everyone's popularity, tourism in Axel has skyrocketed. It has gotten to the point where the rate of incoming tourists has begun to rival even that of the capital."
"A-Are you serious, Kouhai?! Fufu, this is a perfect chance for me to spread my wonderful religion!"
"P-Please reconsider that, Senpai!"
To think that our popularity would have this much of an effect.
But…
"Well, if we're here just to discuss the growth of Axel's economy, then I'd actually rather go back to sleeping, now."
As if I cared about such things!
I valued my sleep more than Axel's tourism infrastructure!
Chris stopped me as I made to go upstairs.
She also stopped Aqua as she made to follow me.
"Geez! What is with you two?! You didn't even wait for me to finish! This is actually important!"
"You talk way too much, Kouhai! Just get to the point already! Do you like to hear yourself talk that much?! As expected, this impudent Kouhai who is letting her popularity in this world get to her head, has developed quite an ego! Kouhai must be thinking 'ah, finally, the day of my popularity has come!' After all, this was the same Kouhai who, before she became the prominent deity of this nation, spent her work breaks practicing that slutty winking posture in front of a mirror and then…hmph! Hmmhmmn!"
Aqua's tirade was stopped by Chris, who squashed a pillow on Aqua's face.
"…"
I really didn't know what to do about these two.
After the commotion died down, with me having to manually separate the two, Chris resumed with her explanation.
According to her, with the increase in tourism, merchants and other such affluent people from all over the nation naturally began to congregate in Axel as well, chasing the money wherever it goes.
And where the money goes, the artifacts followed.
"So, in short, a wealthy merchant possessing an artifact had arrived in town, and you want our help in retrieving it."
Aqua said this, summarizing the contents of our meeting.
"Yes, that's right."
"You could have just said so in the first place! You really do love hearing yourself talk, huh?!"
"Hah?! What's wrong with me talking, hah?! I might still be the Kouhai, but let us not forget that I am the top deity of this nation!"
"S-See?! Kazuma, did you see that?! This is the true nature of this breast-padding slut! I told you that her cutesy, moe demeanor was fake! Here, allow me to expose her further! Back in heaven, the other goddesses actually composed a song for her…"
"Wahhhh! No, don't! Kazuma-kun, don't listen!"
"…"
This time, I didn't bother to intervene.
Part 3
"…And so they wouldn't let poor Eris, play any goddess games! Then one stormy…"
"Just stop with that embarrassing song already, Senpai!"
Chris was actually crying now as she relived the dark remnants of her past.
"Oi, Aqua, just stop already!"
I said this.
Naturally, as someone who also had a dark past, I couldn't help but sympathize.
"…If there are to be no further diversions, let us commence with the meeting."
Chris took out some portfolio folders. In it were sketches of a hotel, and I noticed that the dimensions and the room layouts looked familiar. Chris confirmed that this was the same luxury hotel we stayed at when our mansion was still in repair, and before we were dragged away to the capital.
"The merchants have all decided to stay in Axel's most luxurious hotel," Chris said. "They even rented out the top floors, and from my observations, they have hired men providing 24/7 security in these floors…"
"T-These merchants went all out with the security detail," I said.
"Such practices are common among the wealthier merchants. After all, you don't get as wealthy as they do without a certain amount of paranoia."
"I still find it hard to believe that…"
As I was expressing me doubt, I heard a creak on the floor and my head snapped towards the unexpected noise.
"D-Did you guys hear that?! Is there someone there?!" I exclaimed.
Chris gave me a meaningful look.
"…OK, I see your point."
"Among these guards," Chris went on, "I've noted the presence of at least one reincarnated Japanese, though I don't recognize him at all, which means this is someone Aqua-sama reincarnated before…"
Chris showed us the sketch.
A typical Japanese, straight black hair, average build and height. He was better looking than average, but he wasn't someone you'd pick out in a crowd.
"Nope. Sorry. Don't expect me to remember the hundreds of people I sent over here," Aqua said.
Useless, useless, useless, useless!
"…Anyways, he doesn't seem to be in the top Adventurer rankings, which is somewhat of a relief. But we still need to be careful. We don't know about what power or artifact he possesses."
"Hold on," I said. "I know that these merchants are paranoid, but they even went so far as to hire one of my fellow O.P. Japanese?"
"Well, with the Devil King army out of the picture, most of those frontline fighters, which comprise most of the Japanese, anyways, have to settle for smaller-scale jobs. In fact, most of them operate as mercenaries-for-hire for a much cheaper pay, these days."
"Why can't they just hunt monsters like everyone else?"
"There's a rule that forbids high-levelled adventurers from taking on quests of a monster subjugation nature below a certain threshold of difficulty. This rule was meant to ensure that every adventurer, regardless of skill level, would be able to find some kind of work, but…"
The work available to these high-levelled adventurers had suddenly become scarce.
Somehow, I felt a bit bad for my fellow Japanese.
As if living in this fantasy world with no semblance of game balance wasn't hard enough, their purpose for coming here in the first place, to defeat the Devil King, was stolen away from them by yours truly.
"So, when do we get to kick some ass?!" Aqua said.
"In a couple of weeks. We need time to prepare, and I also need to do some more recon. Um, for Kazuma-kun, I recommend that you get back into fighting shape. You've…started gaining a bit of weight lately…"
"!"
Well, I did live an idle lifestyle recently…
Sitting under the kotatsu, drinking beer while constantly snacking.
And never once stepping outside.
I had reverted to my NEET lifestyle.
Aqua laughed at me. "Fufu. As a goddess, I have no need to maintain my body, such is the nature of my heritage!"
"Actually, Kazuma-kun is just starting to gain weight. Senpai has already gained weight."
"I-Is this true?!"
Certainly, it did seem that Aqua's cheeks looked a bit puffier these days.
After that roast, our meeting was concluded.
Part 4
The next morning.
After eating a light breakfast that included boiled eggs for protein, I took to jogging around Axel.
Iris had told me that jogging was important in not only jumpstarting the functions of the body, but it also set the tone for productivity that will carry on for the rest of the day.
When I got back, I found Chris and Darkness reading in the living room.
I asked Darkness if I could borrow her training weights.
"Hmm…even back in the capital when Kazuma was taking training seriously, we focused more on cardiovascular training to get your endurance up. Does Kazuma want to build muscle, now?"
"Rather than practicing sword techniques, I figure it'd be more efficient to just build my strength up."
"Don't treat weightlifting as if it's a shortcut! Like swordplay, if you don't practice good technique, you'll end up harming yourself!"
"That's a lie. Darkness has no such thing as 'technique' in that brawn-over-brains body of yours. Don't make a science out of something so simple just so you could have a means to look smarter, OK?"
"B-Brawn over brains?! Fine! Don't come running to me if you hurt yourself!"
As Darkness went up to her room to retrieve the weights, Chris sighed as she picked up the book Darkness had dropped on the floor in her indignation.
"You have some guts, teasing a faithful follower in front of her deity…"
Sometimes I forgot that this thief girl was a goddess, and that she was that goddess I admired, Eris-sama…
"I'm sorry. I won't tease Darkness in front of you from now on, Eris-sama."
"Just don't tease her, period! A-And don't just suddenly refer to my other identity!"
After I received the weights from Darkness, I headed to the backyard to start my muscle building session.
How hard could this be?
I had these thoughts…
…but not for long.
"3…*pant*, *Pant*, 4…*gasp*…"
Lifting weights was much more exhausting than I thought.
With the sun starting to break through the clouds, and with my increasing internal body heat, I felt stuffy in my sweater.
I took it off as I started to do my last reps for the day.
I felt a bit self-conscious from being half-naked outside, but this was my backyard, my property, I could do whatever I wanted!
…Still, it was pretty embarrassing.
I didn't want to prolong this any longer, and I decided that the next set of reps would be my final one for the day.
As I lifted the dumbbell for a bicep curl, the door leading into the backyard opened.
Emerging out of it was Megumin, who had been avoiding me recently.
"Hey, Kazuma, it's already lunch time, why don't you…come…in…"
She proceeded to stare at me.
"…W-Wow," she said.
Still staring, her eyes had begun to glow red…
'Wow'?
And there was even a stutter?
I looked down at myself. My body wasn't really so impressive to warrant that kind of flustered reaction.
But it was a reaction nonetheless…
"You…like what you see, Megumin?"
She scowled at my taunting, but she didn't avert her eyes, either.
Hm?
What was this?
Could our little Megumin be…?
Well, she was in the middle of puberty, after all!
And unlike me, she didn't have the luxuries of the Succubus Shop to fall back to.
Well, then.
Shall we give her a little show?
I proceeded to, very exaggeratedly, continue the motions of the bicep curl.
"…!"
But…
It started out as a sudden tension, as if my muscles had locked in place.
Then…
At the peak of the curl, a sharp pain went through my bicep!
Darkness's words of precaution rang through my head.
"Argh!"
My muscles began to spasm.
And then I dropped the dumbbell.
On my foot.
"Ugwaaahahahahahahahaaaaaah!"
This inhuman noise escaped my mouth.
Megumin rushed back into the house. "Aqua! Aqua! Help! Kazuma…he's…!"
Aqua came running out with food in her mouth, saw my condition, panicked a little, and finally got to healing me.
As I was screaming my lungs out, I saw Darkness look over with a condescending sneer on her lips.
"Ah…seeing Kazuma in pain…somehow, being on the other end of this…is not so bad?"
This fake noble was already full of troublesome qualities.
She really didn't need another one.
…
…
After that incident, for some reason, Megumin started avoiding me even more than before, even asking Darkness to take over my 'explosion walk' duties.
I was concerned by this awkward atmosphere between us, and whenever I asked the other girls if they knew why Megumin was avoiding me, they would either change the subject or just refuse to answer.
I felt like the females of the house were conspiring against me, the only male.
Although, honestly, I already sort of had an idea of what was going on with Megumin…
I wasn't stupid, and I could read in between the lines.
But, at the same time, I couldn't exactly do anything even if I had my suspicions.
Damn it!
For all those dense, indecisive male MC's in manga and light novels, who I scorned in forums and message boards in the past…
Please forgive me for trivializing your struggles!
To take my mind off this issue, I threw myself into my weight training.
Meanwhile, Aqua started running laps around the town to lose the weight she gained.
"It's not that I'm worried about my weight, OK?! I just figured that the sweat I'm pouring out as I'm exercising will provide essential nutrients for the soil of Axel. I am the goddess of water after all! Even my sweat is imbued with holy goddess power! And sweat is water…right? Or it used to be water? Um…"
As usual, she was saying these nonsensical things.
One day, after her usual running routine, Aqua came home while staggering through the door, heaving and clutching dramatically at the walls for support.
It seemed that she had pushed herself past her limits, like a child who got too excited during sports day.
"I…can't….breathe…Kazuma, I can't breathe! I need oxygen, now! Please use your 'Wind Breath' on me!"
"Are you suggesting that I perform mouth-to-mouth resuscitation on you?!"
Aqua suddenly grabbed me by the shoulders and her lips started drawing nearer?!
"Oi, get off me! Help! I'm being assaulted by this poor excuse of a goddess! Help!"
Surprisingly, it was the same Megumin who had been recently avoiding me who came to my rescue.
"Aqua?! Why are you…with Kazuma…I thought I already told you all during our girl talks that I…"
"No…*pant* Megumin, it's not that! I'm just *gasp* in desperate need of oxygen! I'll die, seriously! I'll die! *wheeze*…Not just Kazuma, Megumin will work fine, too! In fact, it's better this way!"
"A-Aqua?! Why are you…no! Kazuma, Kazuma! Help me! Oi, I just saved your ass so why are you just sitting there while watching us with obvious anticipation on your face?! E-Eh?! What the…I felt something on my…! Is it just my imagination or did our…touch?! Aqua…n-no, don't!"
"It's OK! We're both girls! It's fine, it's fine!"
"S-Stop iiiiiiiittt!"
I got to witness something amazing that day.
I also got brutalized afterwards by a pissed off Megumin, who started avoiding me for another reason entirely.
Part 5
After spending the days fooling around in this manner, the day of the operation finally arrived.
At that night…
"Kazuma-kun, wake up!"
"Hm? Chris? But I requested you for tomorrow, today should be…oh, right. Our thing is tonight, isn't it?"
"…Again, what exactly is this 'request' you're talking about, Kazuma-kun?"
Chris was dressed in black clothing and she wore a scarf-like cloth around her face. She also wore a cloak with a hood that was meant to hide her distinctive hair color.
I noticed that she also had a utility belt that held not only her magic dagger, but also some ropes and what appeared to be thin wiring.
She saw me looking at the ropes. "Hmm…I should have thought of this earlier. Here take some of these ropes and wires. I'll teach you some useful skills…"
I learned the 'Wire Trap' and 'Bind' skill from Chris.
"Your 'Create water' and 'Freeze' combo is fine for crowd-control, but, as you've seen during that night you were…uh, trying to 'capture' me, while that combo is effective in disabling the enemy's movements, you and your allies can easily get caught up in the slippery surface, too. In contrast, 'Bind' and 'Wire Trap' work especially well in 1 v. 1 scenarios and in narrow spaces."
As for my gear, I wore black clothes, and equipped my carry bag, the 'Boots' of Speed and my short bow. I didn't bring along my partner as it was too distinctive, and people already associated it with me. My identity would be discovered right away. Instead, I brought the dagger I usually kept around in case I needed a secondary weapon.
And I also decided to wear that mask Vanir gave me.
Aside from the boosts in physical capabilities and mana capacity gained at nighttime, the mask also did a good job in hiding any distinctive facial features.
"Let's meet up with Senpai."
Downstairs, we saw that Aqua, this time around, was sitting properly on the sofa.
"Senpai, sorry for the wait. I have Kazuma-kun. It's time to…"
"ZZzz…zzzz…"
"…"
Somehow, falling asleep while sitting up seemed even more disgraceful than the unruly sight she showed us before.
"Owie…you're so mean, Kouhai."
Now fully awake, and rubbing the sore spot on her forehead, I got a good look at Aqua's gear and ensemble.
"…"
Well, it was functional.
A black and white striped shirt and gloves.
As well as the clichéd burglar cap and mask.
And as for her gear, she had an empty sack and a crowbar.
"How do you like my gear, Kouhai?"
"…No complaints."
Yes, Chris couldn't complain, as she was the one who had instructed Aqua to 'dress-up like a thief'.
We went over the plan once more before heading out.
Once we got that sorted, we went out of the mansion and snuck through the dark streets of Axel.
While sticking to the shadows and advancing quickly, but methodically, Chris told me this,
"That's a cool mask, Kazuma-kun. Where did you get it?"
"Oh, just an item I bought on a whim..."
Since she was a goddess, I thought that Chris/Eris-sama would sniff out the demonic powers in this mask, just like Aqua did.
I didn't know how she would react to the truth, so I didn't provide any details.
"We're here," Chris said.
The hotel we once stayed in.
Even from the outside, it gave off a sense of exclusivity.
From the suites at the lower levels you could spy the shadows of people. From the shadows alone you couldn't tell if the excited activity from behind the curtains were that of mutual mirth, or a terrible temper.
Chris turned to us and said,
"As we discussed, the hotel is protected with wards that prevent the use of unregistered Teleportation magic. Basically, only the staff and the guests are 'permitted' by the wards to use Teleportation magic, or any item that produces a similar effect. And even if you are registered as a guest, the wards will keep a record of the place and time such magic is activated, which the police can easily use as evidence in the event of a crime."
Luxury hotels were just too problematic.
However, Chris went on, although security regarding Teleportation magic was tight, a hotel, no matter how luxurious, was still just a hotel.
It wasn't the country's treasury, nor was it a bank.
The security would be tough, but it wouldn't be impregnable.
"Feather Fall," I said.
I casted this spell on the three of us, reducing our weight to that of a feather.
After the battle with the Devil King army, I used the SP I gained from levelling-up to learn this useful spell from Rain.
But after learning Chris's two thief skills, I now depleted all my SP.
And with my level so high, gaining levels from now on would be tough.
Well, I digress.
Now, as for why I casted 'Feather Fall'...
The plan was to propel our weightless bodies all the way to the top floor using the propulsive force from 'Wind Breath'.
Yes, I was reusing that combination that had initially featured an oblivious Darkness, who was sent flying into the sky as a diversion during that first battle with Maouko.
As I took hold of Aqua, she began shivering and said,
"Hold on. I'm having second thoughts about this…"
We didn't have time to be waiting around for Aqua to compose herself.
"Wind Breath."
I unleashed a powerful blast of wind that sent us blasting up into the night sky!
"Ugawahahahahwhahahahhahah!"
I barely registered Aqua's muffled scream through the deafening wind pressure.
As we passed the roof of the hotel, I used 'Wind Breath' again in a weaker burst to alter our course, aiming for the roof.
I then cancelled 'Feather Fall' at a safe falling height.
Well, it was relatively safe.
"Oof!"
The landing wasn't pretty, but even if we sustained injuries, we had Aqua for that reason.
"Wahhh! Why did I come along?! This is terrible!"
As we watched Aqua bawling her eyes out, Chris gave me a troubled look.
"Perhaps bringing Senpai along was a bad idea…"
She had just began to realize it.
As Aqua was freaking out, I approached her and put a hand on her shoulder.
"Relax. It'll be OK. Here, drink up. You should hydrate yourself before we pull through with this."
I handed Aqua a water bottle.
She took the water bottle and drank from it…
"OK! No problem! Let's do this!"
Aqua said this as she began to crawl into the vents…a rather clichéd method of criminal entry, but it was effective nonetheless.
I crushed the empty vial of 'Elixir of Courage' under my heel, which I had mixed into Aqua's water.
Chris, who had seen what I had done, was giving me a look of clear disapproval, but she didn't voice it.
She must have realized the necessity of such small evils when it came to Aqua.
Once we made it out of the vents, we convened in a supply room Chris had come across during her solo-reconnaissance.
Chris brought out the sketch of our target once more.
A man with a sort of droopy face. The fat in his cheeks seemed to have the property of melted cheese.
"Maxim Bregor, a merchant who is known to specialize in precious metals. It should be him," Chris said, "but if it isn't, then we'll cut our losses and retreat. We don't want to be checking every room looking for that artifact. And remember, stealth is our priority. I'd rather have the necessity of needing to come back and try again multiple times than to alert them of our intentions and have the already heavy security get…uh, heavier."
"Kouhai had that exact same speech back in the mansion," Aqua said. "You really do just like hearing yourself talk do you?"
"I-I just want to make sure that we're all synchronized. Now, from now on, we will refer to ourselves with our codenames…"
"Understood," Aqua said.
"Alright," I said.
"OK. Just to make sure that there's no discrepancies, let's all say our code names on three."
"On three, got it," Aqua said.
"Let's go, then," I said.
"On three…"
"1…"
"…2…"
"…3."
"I am Big Boss!" Aqua said.
"Big Boss," I said.
"…Big Boss," Chris said.
"…"
"…"
"…"
"W-We can't all be 'Big Boss'!" Chris said. "Since I am obviously the leader of this operation, I should be 'Big Boss'!"
"Huh?! You, the leader?! Don't forget that I'm the Senpai and that I'm technically the oldest one here!"
The one who was normally discreet about her age, Aqua, suddenly started flaunting her seniority over us.
"Hold on," I said. "I actually have experience being a team leader. Chris is competent, but you've always been acting solo so far, right? And Aqua is…Aqua is…"
I didn't say anything more about Aqua, whose leadership history was limited to the games of 'King says' with the neighborhood kids.
"It might be true that Kazuma-kun has experience being the leader of a successful party, but I am the only one here with experience in thievery…well, in any case, how about we settle this with a match of 'Rock-Paper-Scissors'?"
Normally I would be more than fine with that proposition.
But I wasn't so stupid as to face a goddess of fortune to a game of probability.
And so, without reaching any kind of consensus or compromise, the discussion of code names was postponed.
As we went out of the supply room, we used our respective night visions to survey the halls.
Luckily, there was no one around.
One of the reasons why Chris chose this supply closet as our infiltration point was because it was conveniently close to our target's room.
But even if that was the case, it was a bad idea to waste time.
As we crept out, Chris and I extended our 'Lurk' to Aqua.
With 'Lurk' snuffing the sounds of our footsteps, we were free to dash towards the room.
We needed to make haste before the security team came to make their rounds.
We especially needed to avoid that reincarnated Japanese.
"Senpai, use 'Break Spell' to disable the alarm."
Aqua nodded and quietly chanted 'Break Spell'.
While not as effective as 'Sacred Break Spell' the lesser version was less conspicuous.
"OK. The alarm is deactivated."
Chris then used 'Detect Trap'.
Once she gave me the 'OK', I held the knob and used 'Open Lock'.
I felt the lock mechanism come loose.
We nodded to each other in confirmation as I slowly opened the door.
Aqua, using her superior night-vision, peered in.
"Looks like he's sleeping," she said. "As for that artifact…I don't see it anywhere…"
"Hold on. I'll use 'Detect Treasure'."
Chris's irises shone gold as she surveyed the room.
"Ah…I think I see it. Inside that drawer, there is a safe…Senpai, you might need to use 'Break Spell', again."
"You got it."
Aqua glanced around, took a couple of steps, and then somersaulted towards the safe.
"Senpai, is the tumbling really all that necessary?"
Chris was shaking in exasperation.
When Aqua finally reached the drawer, she knocked on it once, pressed her ear against it, and knocked it on again.
"Pssht! 'Big Boss' to 'Breast-pad', there doesn't seem to be any traps. Over. Psssht!" she said, while speaking to a non-existent radio device.
"…"
I actually had to hold back Chris, who started pulling out her magic dagger.
"You'll only be lowering yourself to her level if you retaliate," I said, while making soothing noises.
It took some time, and a lot more fake radio messages before Aqua finally deigned to cast 'Break Spell'.
But as soon as she had done so…
'Brrrrrinng-ring-rrriiiing! Brrrrrinnng-ring-riiinngg!"
An ear-splitting alarm resounded throughout the floor!
Our target immediately got up from his bed sheets.
He fumbled around before sitting up. He looked towards his bedside table, where a dagger laid.
Before he could reach towards it, I held out my hand.
"Steal!"
"W-What?!"
I had the dagger in my hands. I threw it to the side.
"I don't get it!" Aqua said. "I used 'Break Spell', didn't I?! Why was the alarm activated, then?!"
Previously intimidated, however, after seeing Aqua start to panic, our target became more confident.
"It's a multi-layered alarm spell. If you don't take out all the layers at once, the alarm will still go off."
If we had Aqua use 'Sacred Break Spell', the alarm wouldn't have activated.
But such a flashy spell would have woken up our target, and he would have activated the alarm, anyway, which was probably the point of the whole set up.
"Kaz…Assistant-kun! You stall any guard who comes by here! I'll crack the safe open and we'll try to leave through that window!"
"Hey, don't use this confusion to try and attach that codename on me!" I said.
Even though I said that, I knew that I was the best choice for stalling. I could use 'Drain Touch' to disable my opponents while never running out of stamina or mana.
"What do I do?!" Aqua said.
"Watch over our target to make sure he doesn't do anything, Assistant-chan!"
"Got it, Big Boss!"
This Aqua who made such a big deal about the 'Big Boss' name earlier gave it up so easily.
As I positioned myself by the door, a guard just happened to push the door open.
"Drain Touch."
He fell easily. I made sure not to take all of his life energy.
I used 'Drain Touch' also on the two behind him. They also fell easily.
I used this gap in the fighting to drag their bodies inside the room. I then used 'Bind' on them to make sure they wouldn't get up, even if they returned to consciousness.
Then I turned to the door and used 'Wire Trap'.
I threw the wire and it formed into a series of criss-crosses that filled the length of the doorway.
The other guards beyond the door had to stop and hack their way through the metal wire.
…But maybe I should have used more mana on the skill as they were easily hacking their way through it.
I should have accepted Chris's crash course on these skills…
I turned to Chris. It seemed that she was finished cracking the safe, and now she was putting something inside the sack Aqua brought along.
"Big Boss," I said, only realizing afterwards what I had called her, "we should escape through the window, now!"
"Wait! Stop right there, intruders!"
The 'Wire Trap' had already been taken down.
I turned around to disable this random henchmen who said such clichéd lines.
"…!"
But, it wasn't just an ordinary henchman.
Black hair, average height, normal looks of that of a typical Japanese…
His features resembled that of the sketch Chris showed us of the reincarnated Japanese!
Even so, if we escaped now, we wouldn't have to deal with him or whatever his artifact or ability was.
The girls started running for the window as well, with Aqua stopping once to stick her tongue out to our pursuers.
We were almost there…
"I said, wait! 'Time Stop'!"
I turned around just in time to see my fellow Japanese pull out what seemed to be a pocket watch.
As it was an artifact that did not require an incantation or preparation to activate, I couldn't cast 'Counterspell'.
And Aqua couldn't think fast on her feet enough to stop the effect with 'Sacred Break Spell'.
And so we couldn't do anything even as the room was engulfed in black…
This place, I've seen it enough to know what it was immediately.
An overwhelming darkness…
And a weightless, physical stasis…
The Ethereal Realm.
Part 6
"OK, this Ethereal Realm shtick is getting old! How many times have we done this, already?!"
Aqua cried as she, the only one who could move, waved her hands about.
"T-This is the Ethereal Realm," Chris said. "Darn it. If I had reverted back to my goddess form beforehand, I would have been able to move around like Senpai."
Only spiritual bodies or divine individuals could move in this place.
Even across from me, my fellow Japanese was also caught in stasis.
If his plan was just to stall, I suppose it would have worked on anyone else.
But we had a goddess with us.
The Japanese looked at Aqua in surprise.
"H-How is she moving?! What kind of magic are you using?!"
Aqua struck a pose. "Fufu. This is no magic. I am able to move because…pause for dramatic effect…I am a true, blue goddess! Yes! I am that goddess of water that everyone in this world adores, Aqua!"
This idiot…
Revealing her identity so easily!
And what was that 'pause for dramatic' effect part for?!
As usual, Aqua had given me a piercing headache with her antics.
"I…I see…you're that goddess Aqua…huh?"
This mild mannered guy suddenly wore a dangerous look on his face.
"That dumbass goddess who sent me to this world after assuring me of the effectiveness of this so called 'Time Stop' artifact, while neglecting to tell me that I would be caught up in its effects as well?! What kind of useless power is this, one that traps the user along with the enemy in a dimension of eternal torment?!"
This guy, Tanigawa Kyouske, told us that he was one of the prospective heroes Aqua sent to this world.
And as he explained, Aqua had given him this worthless item.
The first time he used it, he found himself caught in the Ethereal Realm. He was lucky that a mage, who was using the 'Astral Projection' spell to explore the Ethreal Realm in spirit form, had come across his body and led him to safety. Otherwise, he would have been stuck in this place for eternity.
"So that's why you're not in the top adventurer rankings, even if you have an artifact," Chris said. "But, if you were lucky enough just to get out the first time, why did you use the 'Time Stop' power again, this time?"
This Tanigawa guy smiled cockily. "Well, I found a way to weaponize the Ethereal Realm, because I'm just a genius like that!"
"!"
Some kind of green energy started flowing out of Tanigawa.
"S-Senpai! Prepare to fight!"
Aqua nodded. And then she pulled out her crowbar. "I got it!"
"Just drop the crow bar already!"
The green energy surrounding Tanigawa then began to take form.
The legs first, then the torso, and then the head.
A humanoid being made out of that green energy.
"All this time, I've been training to attain the advanced class 'Shaman'. It took ages since I didn't meet the necessary stats the class required, and I had to train arduously for the last couple years now…"
He then started glaring at me.
"…It was all in preparation to defeat the Devil King! I mean, imagine, all I had to do was trap the Devil King in this plane, and then I can have my 'Spirit Warrior', who can move in this dimension, take care of my own escape. An easy and sure-fire way to victory!"
Ah, so that was the case.
Tanigawa had spent the last few years training hard, only to have the opportunity taken from him by me.
But, was he expecting me to apologize?
Sure, I got lucky, having a random encounter with the Devil King, who was away from his castle while unescorted by his minions, for some reason.
And I got even luckier as I just happened to party up with the only person in the world who had the magic power to kill the Devil King in the first place…
But who cares if it was just luck?
In this world, especially, 'Luck' is a talent in itself! I mean, it was part of the main attributes along the traditional talents like 'Strength' and 'Intellect', right?!
I mean, since I was younger, my only natural ability was my uncanny tendency to constantly win in games of probability like 'rock-paper-scissors'!
Defeating the Devil King was…luck or not…it was a part of who I was as a person now.
This was the accomplishment that belonged only to us, Aqua, Megumin, Darkness, and me!
"OK, Aqua! I give you permission to beat this guy up!"
Well, even if I was getting a bit fired up, I couldn't exactly move, so…
I-I'll just leave it to Aqua for now!
Aqua started cracking her knuckles. "Heh. My pleasure!"
The 'Spirit Warrior' settled into a fighting stance as Tanigawa glared at Aqua.
"Look…nobody ever said that Tanigawa Kyouske was a tough guy. Back when I was alive, I was the type to bow my head in apology rather than stand up for myself, in the event of a conflict. I got picked on by delinquents from time to time, but I was sincerely happy that I got away with only some teasing instead of the extortion and the beatings that other people got.
But, right when I was about to die, I thought to myself 'If I could live a second chance, I'd like to change this cowardly side of myself'. And I finally got that chance! In this fantasy world in dire need of a hero! But…But…because of an irresponsible, dumbass goddess, I was too late to do anything! I spent so much time building myself up from nothing, only to have everything taken away from me! And…now…just because you're a goddess, you get to hide away from the victim, the law, and the consequences! That's why…my 'Spirit Warrior' will be the judge!"
The 'Spirit Warrior' then started to charge at Aqua!
"…You don't get it at all, do you?"
Aqua didn't move, instead she let herself get hit by the 'Spirit Warrior's' fist.
She was sent flying back.
"S-Senpai! Why didn't you dodge?!"
Aqua gathered herself up, only for the 'Spirit Warrior' to pursue her, and land another powerful blow on her back.
"Aqua!" I yelled.
"Senpai!"
Ah.
Helplessly yelling like this by the sidelines.
S-Somehow, I was reduced to such a background character role?!
The 'Spirit Warrior' then started to rain blows upon Aqua, who was trying to stand up, only to be kept down by the steady beating of punches.
"Useless! Useless! Useless! Useless!"
Tanigawa now had a manic look in his eyes as he commanded his 'Spirit Warrior' to beat down on Aqua.
"Stop…"
Aqua was muttering this, even as she kept getting pummelled down.
"…calling me…"
A blue light started to emanate from Aqua!
"…useless!"
The light expanded into a tangible force, sending the 'Sprit Warrior' back to Tanigawa.
Aqua stood up easily from her beatings and flashed a cocky smile.
"Heh! If I'm supposedly useless, if I'm supposedly a dumbass, then what does that make you?! You're the one who ended up listening to my advice and you're the one who took that artifact in the end without properly reading the fine print in the manual, after all!"
"…"
W-What kind of screwed up reasoning was that?
"I hate people like you," Aqua continued. "Blaming your inadequacies on other people…doesn't that show how petty you are? Getting bitter just because someone else accomplished a great deed before you did…doesn't that show that you're more interested in personal glory, rather than what really matters? Do you even know what really matters?!"
Aqua raised her hand and curled it into a fist.
The orange, flame-like energy of 'God Blow' gathered in that fist.
"I am ashamed. As the goddess who sent you prospective heroes into the world, I am very ashamed."
She then raised her second hand.
This time, it was the blue, almost melancholic aura of 'God Requiem'.
"You weren't sent to this world for things like 'second chances', nor were you sent here so you can satisfy your own ego!"
She brought her raised fists down into a fighting stance, as she lowered herself in preparation for dynamic movement.
"You were sent here to save the world and the people in it! If someone else did the job for you, you should just be happy that this world can finally live in peace! You're no hero! You're just a wannabe otaku!"
"Just shut up! Shut up! You useless goddess! 'Spirit Warrior', destroy that useless goddess!"
"I told you to stop with the 'useless', already!"
The 'Spirit Warrior' and Aqua met each other's advances.
And then they clashed.
Fists flying with no regard for defence.
Aqua alternating between 'God Blow' and 'God Requiem' as she easily gained advantage and pushed the 'Spirit Warrior' back.
"F-For Senpai to generate this much divine power, although she has few followers, their devotion to her must be all that much stronger!" Chris said.
As she said that, I sensed a complicated expression on Chris's face.
The 'Spirit Warrior' was soon overwhelmed.
It staggered back and collapsed on one knee in front of Tanigawa.
"T-This can't be…!"
Aqua dismissed the holy energy in her fists. Then she raised just one hand this time.
And then an eruption of power gushed forth from Aqua's hand, which she contained and controlled as she closed it into a fist.
"W-What?!" Chris exclaimed. "She can still generate even more than that?! Just how powerful is Senpai?!"
The darkness around us began to distort, as if the light from Aqua's power was unsettling its very foundations.
"Sacred God Blow!"
Rather than a punch, it was more like a blast.
From her fist, a flood of divine power rushed forth, overwhelming the eternal darkness of the Ethereal Realm.
Part 7
We escaped without encountering any further difficulties.
It was a rather overkill way to end a covert operation, sure.
But with Aqua, you were always going to get the extreme with her.
Whether in victory, or defeat.
We had Aqua bring us back into reality, along with Tanigawa.
And then when we wound back in the hotel room, we dumped Tanigawa off and left with the artifact.
We didn't rob our target, Maxim Bregor, from his riches, as we didn't have any evidence that he was corrupt by any means, only that he somehow got his hands on an artifact.
Not every rich person was a bad guy, after all.
In fact, I even left some money behind to pay for any medical attention some of the guards I roughed up might need.
Like a true Chivalrous Thief.
"Hmph! Safe to say, I was the M.V.P. this time," Aqua said. "Well, I'm the M.V.P. all the time, but you get it!"
Again, we wouldn't have gotten into so much trouble if Aqua had just done her job in heaven properly.
But, somehow, I didn't want to take this away from her.
We were back in our temporary headquarters, the living room.
We each crashed into the sofa as the exhaustion finally caught up to us.
"Well, I do have to admit that Senpai was rather impressive," Chris said.
"Fufu. It seems that my faithful followers' faith has increased in me recently?" Aqua said. "Maybe they heard that the beautiful Arch-Priest who saved them from before was the one who would eventually defeat the Devil King. 'Ah! That beautiful blue haired Arch-Priest must truly be a prophet sent to us by Aqua-sama herself!' I'd rather have them just accept that I really am Aqua, the real Aqua, but this is fine, too!"
As Aqua went on that delusional and arrogant spiel, Chris had taken out the sack where we stored the artifact.
She took out the artifact.
It was a shield.
A rather plain looking shield, you wouldn't have known it was an artifact just by looking at it.
And it was worn out. It had obviously seen its fair share of battles.
Aqua gasped. From the way she reacted to it, she obviously recognized this artifact.
"The Holy Shield Halelock. The impenetrable shield. This shield is indestructible…unfortunately, its original owner wasn't. I'm sorry, Senpai…"
"…I see. So this was why you brought me along, huh, Kouhai? You knew that I'd definitely want to participate. That's surprisingly considerate of you."
Aqua took the shield from Chris and stroked its surface. She saw me looking and smiled.
"Ah, Kazuma. I suppose I should give some context to you. You see, the very first reincarnated hero I sent to this world chose this artifact to bring along, the Holy Shield Halelock. I suppose you could say that…this is an item of great personal significance for me. I always bragged about it to Kouhai, back in heaven, and I guess it's always been in her mind since then, huh?"
Chris blushed. "Well, you mentioned it so many times. When I heard that this artifact had made its way into a merchant's hands…well, I thought that you ought to know, Senpai."
"…I see. Thanks! I guess. Um, I know that this is the part where we're supposed to hug, but…"
"Well, maybe just a quick one?"
The hug didn't even last three seconds.
If it wasn't in the hands of its original owner, the Holy Shield Halelock was just like any other enchanted shield you'd find in a magic store. Durable, but not indestructible.
In the end, even if it fell into the wrong hands, that artifact wasn't all that dangerous.
Well, it was still important to collect every artifact we encountered, just in case, but…
I see.
A Senpai and a Kouhai, huh?
…
…
The next day.
As if last night's incident had never happened, all of us were gathered in the living room, drinking some after dinner wine.
"I was happy to see that Kazuma and Aqua started to take physical fitness seriously, but didn't you two just laze around all day today?"
Darkness said this to Aqua and I, who spent the entire day under the kotatsu, snacking and playing board games with each other.
"That's enough exercise for one year," Aqua said.
"That rumor of muscles dissolving into fat due to disuse was just a myth, as Darkness said before, right?" I said. "I think I built up enough muscle for now."
"…These two are!"
"Forget about those two, Darkness," Megumin said. "And I imagine that Kazuma will be even more egotistical if he actually develops some muscles in him. Now, if you would please let me have some wine…"
Even after having that terrible hang over, Megumin still had an interest in alcohol.
Well, it was better to teach her moderation than to just keep forbidding her.
I sighed and nodded my permission.
"Yes! Now, Aqua, please let me have some of that wine!"
"Oh, sure, Megumin. Here, give me a second to get the tray."
Aqua went to the kitchen.
Chris leaned closer to me, "Say, Assistant-kun…"
"Don't call me that."
"Assistant-kun, I've been wondering, where did Senpai end up storing the Holy Shield Halelock? Don't tell me that she kept it lying around in her room, or something ridiculous like that…ha-ha…"
I averted my eyes.
No.
It was worse than that.
The Holy Shield Halelock.
That sentimental item Chris wanted to retrieve for Aqua's sake…
"Here's the wine, Megumin! Be sure to drink 'till you drop!"
"Uwoh! You're the best, Aqua! By the way, I like your new tray! It's very cool!"
…Aqua was using it as a tray for her drinks.
"S-Senpai…!"
This time, I didn't hold Chris back as she lunged at Aqua with her magic dagger.
Chapter 14 END
Next Chapter: Lady's Blessings on this Wonderful Town!