Chapter 31

Author's Note: Thanks for y'all's patience. This past year really sucked the motivation out of me.

Disclaimer: I do not own Attack on Titan

Rated M for gore violence, language, and sexual content

Enjoy

The months of cooperation went by quickly. Eren would write all the information I provided, and reported it back. Any moments not spent on his objective...he was in my bed. If his superiors were aware, they made no notion to stop it. Or perhaps more accurately, they didn't care.

Eren and I had become bound. I knew his secrets. And he knew mine. But, I never forgot my self-appointed mission. Or my vow to Alaric. One way or another, I had to see an end to the war...

Marley, 818...

"...you pulled her spinal cord out of her body with your bare hands?"

"Yes," Roksana confirmed.

"With your...bare hands?" Eren repeated in disbelief. "How could you possibly...?"

Roksana shrugged. "The human body is pretty fragile once you start tearing into it."

Eren raised an eyebrow. He set the pen and paper down in his lap as he processed her answer. He was sitting on the bed with her, leaning against several pillows. Roksana laid opposite him, having stacked the rest of the pillows beside his legs. They were naked, barely keeping themselves covered by the sheets. "So...the power lies in the spinal cord? I suppose that makes sense since spinal fluid is what's needed to be consumed during the succession ritual."

"Barbaric, if you ask me."

Eren thought over her comment. "And the Anscarid way isn't?"

"It's less messy." Roksana laid back to stare up at the ceiling. "I mean...yeah, the predecessor does die. No one can live without a spinal cord...at least, not for very long. It's a quieter method."

Eren leaned forward, moving the covers to expose the black spinal mark around her middle. He recalled her explanation the night he came to see her. She had confessed the truth behind the fight at Dhavasco. "So this is the elusive Attack Titan? All this time it was hiding in Anscar..."

Roksana placed her hand over his. "You haven't told them, right? No one else knows I'm holding this power as well?"

He kept his eyes on the mark, tracing the little spinal arms. After a moment, he sighed and removed his hands. "No. I haven't told them."

Roksana studied him further, reading his body language. She rolled to lay on her side, propping her head up on her hand. "Have you talked to your superiors about my request?"

"Not yet."

"Why not? Surely I've earned their trust...right?" she asked.

He wouldn't look at her. "It's not that simple. The war is getting worse. The titan research department is trying to find a suitable warrior to take on the titan power you stole."

"How is that my fault? I just want to be able to walk outside."

"We're not stupid, Roksana. You're a political hostage."

"What're you trying to say?" She sat up, pulling the sheet up to cover her chest. "You think I'd try to escape? I wouldn't get that far. I'm not stupid, either. My best bet is to comply and follow their rules."

"And what's the end goal?" he asked. "What happens after you give up the titan power? You have a plan. I know you do."

Roksana's heart leaped. This is it. This is my chance. She scooted closer to him. "What if I do? What if...what if I saw a way to give Marley what it wants, and end the war? To save my people?"

Eren shook his head slightly as he processed her questions. "What? What're you-"

"An end to this war. That's my goal. That's why I took the titan powers. That's why I surrendered myself." She let the sheet fall off her chest as she grasped his hand in both of hers. "Eren...I wanted to gain Marley's trust enough that I could make requests. Demands, even."

"What kind of demands? Marley isn't going to throw away it's campaign for one titan."

"Maybe they will as far as it's campaigns against Anscar," she said, almost pleading. "Eren, only you can advocate for me. You can convince your superiors to accept my trade. The titan power for peace. I know my country. They'll agree to a treaty. No one wants this war."

Eren slipped his hand free, frowning as he leaned away from her. "So your plan was to seduce me, then? Fuck me until I do anything you want me to? Is that how your magic works?"

Roksana leaned away from him now. "Wasn't it your plan to fuck me, too? To manipulate me into falling for you? Preying on my naivety like some sick, old man?"

He shoved her, only hard enough for her to fall back onto the bed. Eren threw the sheets off of his legs and scooted to sit on the edge of the bed. Roksana scrambled onto her hands and knees. She crawled over to him, wrapping her arms around his shoulder. He started to throw her off, but Roksana whispered apologies into his ear. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That wasn't fair. I'm sorry."

Eren closed his eyes, unable to resist her touch. Her lips on his neck. "Don't apologize," he said softly. "We both had ulterior motives when we started this."

"True," she agreed. "But I wouldn't have gotten so...intimate with anyone else. The titan powers I carry are very particular."

"Particular how?" he asked, turning his head a bit to look at her.

Roksana gently reached her fingers up into his hair. She massaged the back of his head, easing his tension. The titan power around her middle seemed to vibrate with apprehension. "The titan power can only be wielded by an Eldian. But the power can choose it's host. When I first met you, only the Attack Titan reacted."

"Reacted how?"

She sat back, keeping one hand on his shoulder. With her other, she hovered over the spinal creature around her middle. The black body moved against her magic. It delicately peeled itself off her skin, returning to it's pink fleshy color. It coiled around her arm. It's little tributaries reaching out, sensing Eren's presence. Roksana leaned forward, resting her chin on his shoulder as she held out the spinal creature in front of him. He flinched and motioned to get up, but Roksana held him firm. "No, it's okay. It's okay."

"What the hell? Is...what is it?" he demanded.

"The Attack Titan. In it's true form." The spinal creature wiggled, slithering up her arm. "Since the moment you stepped foot in my presence...it sensed you."

Eren frowned in confusion. He watched the spinal creature move reach out to him. It seemed almost sentient. A headless serpent. "It's called out to you. Urging me to get close. To find out if you're worthy."

Eren shifted so that he could look back at her. "Worthy? How could it know?"

Roksana gently ran her fingers through his hair. "The Attack Titan has always been special. That much I know. There are things in this world that cannot be explained so easily."

"Why me?" he asked, almost whispering.

She rested her head on his shoulder, watching the spinal creature continue to coil down her arm, desperate for Eren. Roksana wished she could put it into words. It was like an instinct. A deeper understanding of what the power wanted. But it's now or never. I can't waste anymore time.

"I can't give you those answers. Only this power can. Once it fuses with you, the memories of all the hosts will flow into you. And...so will Alaric's dying wish."

"What wish?"

"And end to this war," she confessed. "Alaric may have been Eldian, but he was born in Anscar. He grew up in Anscar. And he wanted an end to this war just as much as the rest of us. Eren, I will give you this power. You'll know secrets that no one else will know. It will empower you."

"To do what?" he scoffed. "I'm just one man. And I'd be risking everything if I took this power. What're you trying to do?"

"I told you...my goal is to end this war. To save my people, but also...to find a worthy host for the Attack Titan." Roksana leaned forward, surprising him with a kiss. She pressed her forehead against his. "Please, believe me...you'll understand everything after. I trust you. I do. You're the only one who can take on this power. You're the only one who can help me save my people."

Eren studied her gaze, searching for any crack in her sincerity. He looked to the spinal creature. Oddly, he no longer felt so afraid of it. A sense of curiosity flowing through him. With a sigh, all of his resolve crumbled. "Alright."

It was a desperate gamble. Handing over a great weapon. But I knew Eren inside out. In my ploys to control his very being, I had grown...fond of him. And that fondness kept me from chaining him down.

It wasn't a lie that I trusted him. I trusted his conscience. Trusted his fondness for me.

Roksana held up the titan power even with the base of Eren's spine. The creature delicately slithered onto his skin. It's little tributaries dancing against his back as it pushed itself up. Eren made no movements, showed no reaction. The creature stretched itself to the length of his back, sitting flush. Roksana held her hands up, hovering over the creature. Silently soothing it.

Then the creature began to sink. It's fleshy body disappearing into Eren's skin. Once it was fully submerged within his body, Eren arched his back. Crying out as he fell back onto Roksana's lap. She held onto him. Watching nervously as his eyes flashed with bright, yellow light. Threatening a shift. "Stay calm. Eren, stay calm."

She cupped his face, spreading calm emotion into him. Eren grabbed her arm, holding onto her for dear life. Power and ancient energy surging through his very being. He focused on her face. Letting her become his anchor. The world around them seem to fade away. Eren closed his eyes, losing himself in the various memories. Roksana pressed her forehead to his, reaching into his mind and falling into the memories alongside him.

As Eren and the power merged, he had changed in sense. Staying the same yet becoming someone entirely new. When he had opened his eyes, he understood everything I had wanted. He had seen my life through Alaric's memories. Felt Alaric's emotions. And every predecessor before that.

And as I had expected, he saw the war from a new perspective. There was no need to control him. No need to invade his mind or influence his thoughts.

But one thing I knew for certain. By some strange twist of fate, he fell in love with me.

And...I with him.

Diamont Isle, Anscar Territory...

Roksana stood in line with the other Marleyan generals and officers. She kept herself poised and regal, facing the table in the middle of the large courtyard. On the otherside, Anscarid generals stood in their own line. Reflecting silent, intimidating demeanor back at their enemy. For appearances sake, Roksana was shackled. Her captors had let her dress and groom herself to how she desired for the peace summit, but the irons were meant to serve as a reminder of her position. Though, she didn't really mind.

Every so often, her gaze would shift to Eren. He stood beside Captain Gross with the other MPs. Her chest swelled upon sight of him. Before she gave it up, the Attack Titan power had pulsed with longing, and now her own heart did the same. Perhaps it's me that's fallen under some spell. She nearly snickered at that thought. The Anscarid soldiers parted, making way for two gentlemen dressed in fine military uniforms. They're chests adorned with various medals and silk. Roksana's face fell upon recognizing one of them. Father?

General Holt stepped forward to greet the Anscarid nobles. He held a hand out to Roksana's father, "Lord Nikolas Ivera. Lord Anton Orviso. It is an honor to meet you both."

Lord Ivera and Lord Orviso bowed their heads in respect. Roksana watched the exchange carefully. Noting her father's composure. Like a statue. She knew what to expect of 2 members of the Council of Nine, but a part of her had hoped her father would look her way. Scold the Marleyan Generals for attacking Dhavasco, killing hundreds of innocents, and abducting her. Stop it. The treaty is all that matters. And end to the war and peace for my people.

He hadn't changed. Incredibly tall and proud. Rich, black hair combed back with a thick mustache. The table was too far away for her to hear anything. But an attendant brought the carefully crafted treaty and laid it out for the men. General Holt signed it first and passed it to his comrade, General Vance. Lord Ivera and Lord Orviso said nothing as they signed the document. Roksana finally breathed a sigh of relief as the document was notarized and photographed. She found it strange how a piece of paper could turn the tide of a great war. Though, the treaty was only for the fight between Marley and Anscar.

Again, Roksana found her gaze shifting to Eren. He returned her gaze. His eyes holding silent comfort for her. The corner of her lips curled into a soft smile. Discreet. Unnoticeable to all except him.

With the treaty signed and sealed, the generals and soldiers moved into the villa for the party. To celebrate the newfound friendship and peace. Roksana quickly made her way to General Vance, giving him a bright, polite smile as she held up her wrists. "General..."

"I know what you're going to ask, my Lady, and the answer is no," he said in one breath, blinking slowly.

She slumped her shoulders, lowering her arms. "Haven't I proven my trustworthiness? Why would I jeopardize the conditions of the treaty now?"

"Because your kinsmen are most likely dying to spirit you away from us," he retorted, taking a sip of his champagne.

"Do you think so little of our honor?"

"I do as a matter of fact."

She rolled her eyes. "General, if my true goal was escape...there are better ways than aggressively pushing for a peace treaty. And I'm sure you're aware that I'm involved with Lieutenant Kruger."

"Yes," he confirmed. "I'm honestly surprised you two aren't attached at the hip right now."

"I intend to honor our agreement and the conditions of the treaty, and...as long as Lieutenant Kruger remains in Marley, so will I."

General Vance raised an eyebrow, studying Roksana from head to toe. His lips curled into a smirk as he tilted his head. "You're quite naive, aren't you?"

"On the contrary, I play my cards just right." She held up wrists again. "I will stay within view of all the guards, if it makes you feel better. I'm not going anywhere."

He heaved a heavy sigh and nodded to the guard behind her. Roksana smiled once more and turned to the guard to allow him to unlock her shackles. Once they were off, she curtsied to the general and hurried off to grab a drink. Roksana felt a sense of relief at being surrounded by so many strangers. Stuck in a solitary hotel room nearly drove her insane. The ceaseless chatter, the heat of bodies...it almost felt heavenly. "Enjoying yourself?"

Roksana whipped around to face the familiar voice. Her father stood before her, hands clasped behind his back. In that very moment, she wanted to throw herself into his arms. Bury her face in his broad chest as she always had done when she was a child. Roksana stopped herself, but her voice betrayed her true feelings. "Father..."

He gestured to the glass doors leading to the balcony. "Walk with me."

Lord Ivera never asked anything of his children. He always commanded. And Roksana obeyed, leading him outside. Away from prying ears. The Marleyan guards still kept their eye on her. The air had cooled, and the sky was a mix of oranges and reds as the sun had begun to set. The sight nearly brought Roksana to tears. It had been too long since she had seen an Anscarid sunset. She felt a well of nervousness and anxiety pool in her gut as thousands of questions came to her mind. "How are...is mother...?"

"Your mother is alive. As are Susanna and Vladimir." Roksana almost cried out in relief. "They suffered only minor wounds as they were pretty far from the main explosion," he continued. "They'll be relieved to know you're safe and well. Your mother has been beside herself for months."

Roksana pressed her hand to her forehead, feeling a heavy weight beginning to lift off her chest. "Thank the gods. Everything happened so fast that day. I had prayed that they survived. That they were safe."

Lord Ivera regarded his daughter curiously. He was several heads taller than her, and had always saw her as the little girl who hid beneath his desk, sneaking chocolates. And yet, there was an adult demeanor about her. "I've only heard of the events that unfolded from the Marleyan reports provided to us. Tell me, Roksana. What happened?"

With that command, I told my father everything. He was a man of vast knowledge and power greater than my own, so there was no need to lie. No need to hide or obscure my actions. I confessed my plan to him. My reckless, bold hope and Alaric's dying wish.

As I talked, my father remained silent. Showing no reaction, no emotion as he listened. He was truly a statue. A man of stone and dignity.

Lord Ivera gazed out at the horizon. His hands clasped behind his back once more. The sun had completely set with sky mostly dark and purplish. In the growing night, their true nature began to show. Their glittering purple eyes nearly turning black. Roksana glanced back at the party. The generals and officers were still drinking away, snacking and talking. None dared to go outside. None dared to step out into the night with the Anscarids around. It's a shame the peace ceremony didn't take place on the mainland...where our power is strongest.

"This...Eldian you gifted the Attack Titan," he finally spoke, "is he here?"

"Yes. He's hidden his true nature. Infiltrated the MPS in order to further some Eldian rebellion." Roksana set her empty glass down on the stone guard rail. "I know it was a big risk, but I trust him. He's worthy of possessing the power."

"Worthy because of his own attributes...or because your blind fondness of him?"

Roksana failed to hide the blush creeping on her cheeks. "What? Father, that's not...you're misunderstanding my-"

"I misunderstand nothing," he said, finally turning to look at her. "You were always the most gifted, the most prodigious of your sisters. But you're not as cunning as you think you are. Your feelings for a mere peasant is evident. And he's an Eldian of all things."

He pinched the bridge of his nose, shaking his head. Roksana blinked in confusion. "Wha...what does that have to do with anything? Isn't it enough that the war has ended? For our people, at least?"

"Did you expect me to praise you for abandoning your home, taking on such a foolish mission yourself that by some gods-driven miracle you managed to pull off...and handing over a titan power we've kept secret for nearly a hundred years to the enemy?" With each word, he had slowly advanced, looming over her. "What has happened to you, Roksana? I hardly recognize you. My daughter would not have surrendered so easily. My daughter would not have spread her legs for commoner filth. My daughter would not have softened her heart and become...tame."

"Tame?"

"They've domesticated you. I saw how easily you heeled for General Vance. Seeking his permission," he said sadly. Lord Ivera placed his hands on her shoulders. "You've been in this land too long. You belong with your people. You belong with your family."

"But...I have to uphold the conditions of the treaty. I have to give up the power I stole." She held up her marked arm.

Lord Ivera hardly glanced at it. His brows furring into a disapproving frown. "Is that desperation in your voice I hear? Disgraceful."

"Wha...?" Roksana was truly bewildered. Her father released her, leaning onto the guard rail in his despair. She clenched her fists, controlling her rising anger. "That day on the beach...the only thing on my mind was a way to stop Marley from killing more of our people. To make them listen. A proper, official treaty was the only way to end the fight. Even if I had just threatened to hold the Female Titan hostage...it wouldn't have stopped the war."

"We would have won. Anscar is strength. Anscar is power."

"I know," she admitted. "But how many more Anscarids would have to die before then? How many more surprise attacks? Marley sent one Titan after us. They could've sent all of them...causing even greater devastation before we finally stopped them. I didn't care about what I'd have to do to insure that wouldn't happen. I still don't."

Lord Ivera curled his fingers into his palm. "Your drastic actions were unnecessary. You could've unleashed the Dragon Spell."

Roksana gasped. Her hand instinctively went to her middle, to her core. The Dragon Spell? "I couldn't. That...that's only ever meant to be a last resort. Father...what're you really trying to say?" She searched his hard gaze. "Would it...would it really have been better if I unleashed that monstrous spell? Better I'm dead rather than working towards peace?"

"Don't you use that tone with me," he warned. "If you had used that spell, the blow to the enemy would've been greater than the one they had dealt us! We wouldn't even be in this situation. They would've lost their weapon and their stealth destroyer."

"Along with Mother, Susanna, Vlad, and whoever else managed to survive the attack! Our whole family gone!" Roksana mirrored her father's fuming face. His eyes had grown completely black, radiating a dangerous energy. But Roksana was doing the same. Standing firm against her father. "You're not as cunning as you think you are, either. I know you, Father. I know you spoke against the treaty. None of the other Councilors are as bloodthirsty and warmongering as you are! You'd use my sisters' deaths and forsake me in order to drag at this stupid, pointless war!"

"We don't make deals with the enemy. We conquer them," he said through gritted teeth. "It's how we've dealt with all who challenge Anscar. It's how we've stayed so strong for seven thousands years!"

Roksana furred her brows in realization. It wasn't what he had said, but rather what he didn't. She took a step back. "Have you really forsaken me?"

Lord Ivera deepened his frown. "Yes. You are a coward, my daughter. I'm ashamed to even call you that."

With those words, I had become lost. My whole plan, my whole future had come crumbling down.

My father was a firm believer in the Old Way. Everything was about power and strength. A nation of conquerors. In his eyes, I had failed him. Peace brought no honor. No glory to our family. The Ivera Family was an ancient line. Warriors, Sorcerers...every single Ivera brought honor to the family.

My father's words are law. Since had chosen to disown me, I would be cast out. Cut off from my family and home forever. Even if my country welcomed me back as a hero...I would be a traitor to my family.

Roksana swallowed her emotions. Swallowed all of her fears, hopes, doubts, and dreams. "Then...perhaps it's best if I never returned," she told him. "I will uphold my deal with the Marleyans. I will remain in their pitiful country, and I'll fade away into the history books."

"Don't be absurd," he scoffed. "I may have disowned you. But there is a chance of redemption. A sliver, really."

She sighed. "If you're about to say I have to marry Uncle Aleksander..."

"Furthering the main Ivera line is your only path of staying with the family. Susanna and Vladimir will wed once they're of age, but their children will need future spouses." His nonchalant tone irked Roksana all the more.

She grasped at her hair, ruining the carefully pinned coils around her temples. "No, Father. I won't do it. I'm not going to resign the rest of my life as a pawn for your game. I did the best thing-the only thing I knew I could do to save our people. Because I thought about our country's future. I don't want anyone else to have to suffer seeing their loved ones die right before their eyes like I did."

"How dare you-!"

"And I know the Council agreed to the treaty because they knew peace was better. They knew we never should've entered the war in the first place! What kills me is that you can't see that!" She threw her hands up, emphasizing her exasperation. "What kind of father prefers his child's death over war?"

At that, Lord Ivera fell silent.

Roksana slumped her shoulders, her eyes stinging from the sad knife twisting in her heart. "I love you, Father. I always will. But...for the secured future of our people and our home, your disappointment is a small price to pay. I will not apologize for my actions. Nor for my feelings for an Eldian peasant."

Lord Ivera leaned back. His face awash with confusion and fury. He truly did not know what to say. "Roksana..."

"Goodbye, Father. I'm afraid we'll most likely never see each other again." With that, she turned away, and headed back inside.

I suppose you would've guessed by now that it was the last time I saw my father. Considering my current situation.

Indeed, my father was the only Councilor who had spoken against the treaty. He was always a warmonger. When Anscar had entered the war, he couldn't leave home fast enough. No doubt the other Councilors praised him for siring a daughter who risked everything to bring and end to the war.

But, my future was still uncertain. I had upholded my end. A few months after the peace ceremony, the Marleyans brought forth an Eldian warrior candidate they thought suitable. The power of the Female Titan was not as picky as the Attack Titan. It had accepted it's new host indifferently.

It was right after that I had received word of my father's official disowning of me...and of my mother's death.

Marley...

Roksana sat on window sill. The letter on her lap. A few words had blurred from fresh tear stains. She stared up at the cloudy sky. The weather had grown cold with winter setting in. She was so lost in her thoughts and grief that she hadn't realized someone entered the room. She knew the hospitality of the Marleyan government was expiring. Her usefulness ended the moment she handed over the Female Titan. They would cast her out. I'll have nowhere to go. No money. No prospects.

"Roksana," Eren said. "Are you alright?"

He placed his hand on her shoulder. Roksana rubbed her face against his forearm, relishing his touch. "No, I'm not. I'm lost, Eren."

He knelt down, cupping her face in his hand. "Ever since I can remember, I had always known what my future held," she continued. "But now it's clouded. My family has abandoned me. Marley has discarded me. I...I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I don't know what I'm meant to do."

Eren studied her, his brows furring upon seeing her despair. He grabbed her hands with his other. "No one knows their futures. Not even me. I really don't think there was anything either one of us was meant to do. If there is such a thing as a purpose, then our purpose in life is to live."

"Living only gets you so far. Perhaps I have done what I'm meant to do, what the gods had planned for me. But I'm almost nineteen." She shook her head as she looked away from him. "I can't help but feel like I have more to do...that I can give more. This can't be the end for me."

"I don't believe it is."

She snorted. "I have no money, Eren. What am I going to do with my life? I come from nobility. I have no vocational training. Etiquette matters more than essential job skills."

The corner of his mouth curled slightly into a smile. He held her hands in his, rubbing her fingers with his thumbs. "Then come with me."

"What?"

"I never dreamed that I'd love somebody like you. I never dreamed I would ever even fall in love." He gently tucked her hair behind her ear. "Roksana, you've changed my life. You've given me the power to bring hope to my people. I can't promise you an easy life. I can't promise you a long life. But I will give you everything. A chance to build something here...with me."

Roksana leaned forward, gently pressing her lips to his. She slid her hands up her arms, pressing her chest against his as she wrapped herself around him. Their kiss deepening. She sensed his sincerity. The happiness in his heart. After a passionate moment, she broke away. Leaning her forehead against his. "I love you. With all my heart and soul, Eren, I love you."

He inhaled another kiss, moaning softly. Their love, now laid bare and uninhibited, bloomed. Eren pressed her down onto the floor, and she wrapped her legs around his waist. His hat fell off, rolling away. He took a moment to push himself off, to gaze into her violent eyes. A silent conversation passed between them. Roksana ran her fingers through his hair. Love me, and I will love you a thousand times over. Eren kissed her again, falling deeper into the spell they were both under.

End of Chapter 31