Chapter 16: Succubus's Blessing on this Indecisive Virgin!

Part 1

With the success of Kazu-Mall, the town of Axel had reached financial heights it had never seen before.

True to Megumin's words, the other merchants who had set up their own supermarkets decided that it would be wiser to invest in Kazu-Mall and the town of Axel than to compete against such an overwhelming collaborative effort.

A happy ending for everyone.

Well.

It was a happier ending for me.

"…Kazuma-san? Um, I'm sorry to say this but the guild doesn't have enough space to store all your money."

"O-Oh…"

"Yes…um, we thank you for your continued patronage, however, you may need to use a real bank this time…"

"I-I see…"

It was like this.

The adventurer's guild that didn't take a cut from your money for a shady 'service fee' was the optimal banking service for an adventurer who happened to strike it rich.

But this time, with the inordinate amount of wealth I've attained, I had to rely on a real bank.

And this was before Kazu-Mall was expected to branch out throughout the nation, and Maxim was even considering branching out to an allied nation called Elroad.

And then soon…the world…

H-How overwhelming.

"...I think I need a drink."

Seeing my pale face, Luna-san panicked.

"S-Someone get this man a beer!"

I sat on the counter as the bartender hurriedly poured me a beer.

"Ah…Kashuma…I don't normally *hic* shee you thish early…."

Happening to sit beside me was Aqua, who happened to be drinking at noon.

I ignored her as I downed my beer.

I couldn't exactly define my feelings.

Some kind of crisis?

With the defeat of the Devil King, attaining hero status, my name immortalized in history forever, and now all this wealth…

It was the feeling of 'what comes next?'.

Well, logically, what comes next was…

Well.

Really.

The only thing I could think of was…

"…Aqua. I need to pass on my genes."

It was that wasn't it?

The next step.

The ultimate purpose of life.

Baby making.

"Not interested."

Aqua somehow sobered up immediately as she looked at me with an impassive face.

"And why did you think that I was referring to you?!"

Really, this goddess with zero sex-appeal came up with such a ridiculous assumption.

"Well, Megumin is still a loli…"

"She'll always be a loli."

"...and Darkness might fit your preferences but I think that you're a little scared of her."

"Just a little?"

"Naturally, that would leave me."

"Naturally?! Oi, you're the most problematic one out of all of them, you know?! Do you possess even a shred of self-awareness?! You're already drinking this much at this time, don't you hear what people are saying about you?! How could you possibly think that I'd want you as the mother of my children?!"

"Huh?! How could you even make that baseless accusation?! I'd make a great mother! In fact, I am already technically a mother!"

She said such a thing after slamming her hands on the bar counter.

Hm?

She said something interesting there.

"What did you mean, about technically being a mother?"

Aqua beamed proudly. "Yes, I am the mother to my precious children…"

Looking at this goddess carefully.

Very beautiful, one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen in my life.

If she kept her mouth shut that is.

If she just stood there, and didn't talk, anyone would fall for her.

Too bad she was always talking.

Well, in any case, this beautiful Aqua right now was drinking at noon and would continue to do so until she passed out.

She would always come home with her clothes in a disarray and she always forgot how she got home the morning after.

To put it bluntly, as a target, Aqua was very easy.

This…Aqua was…?!

"W-Who is the father?! Despite everything, I am still Aqua's friend! Tell me who it is and I will make him take responsibility!"

Overcome by passion, I said this as I grabbed Aqua's shoulders.

The guild went quiet at my words.

Ah.

I shouldn't have yelled.

"C-Come to think of it, I think I've seen this guy over here chatting up Aqua while she was drunk recently?!"

"Hah?! I already have a wife and kids, you know?! How could you even say that?! In fact, the one throwing accusations around is the most suspicious, you know?!"

"…In that case, wouldn't the most suspicious one be Kazuma? In fact, didn't Kazuma and Aqua use to sleep in the stables together back in the day? We would always see Kazuma carrying Aqua to the stables after she passed out…"

All eyes turned to me.

"T-That's not it! Really, that's not ittttt! Oi, tell them, Aqua!"

"Fufu. Of course, I'm talking about my beloved faithful."

"See?! See?! Anyone should have seen that punchline coming!"

They looked at each other once more.

"No, I don't believe it. That's just her usual rambling about being a goddess."

"Yes, Kazuma is the father. Let us take blood samples of him now and prove it."

"No, it would be easier to use that magic bell in the police station that detects lies…"

"No, you all?! Hey, don't pull on that! These clothes are expensive!"

They took a gallon of my blood to see if there was a match even though the baby was still unborn.

No, wait, it didn't even exist.

Seriously.

Please believe me.

Please.

Part 2

"Fufu. Kazuma-kun caused quite a stir at the guild today."

Saying this was Chris who teased me as soon as I arrived home.

I slammed the door after me.

"How could they treat the great Satou Kazuma like this?! Don't they realize that I've done many great deeds to protect this world?! Damn it! This thankless lot doesn't deserve an ounce of my genius and heroism!"

"…Genius and heroism? Kazuma is quick on his feet during combat, but a genius is pushing it too far. I'd say that luck played a very big factor in your victories so far."

Darkness took a sip of tea as she condescendingly glanced at me.

And perhaps because she knew best what words would hurt and cause as much emotional damage as possible...really, Darkness would know best...she showed an immediate proficiency in dismantling my ego.

"L-Luck is still a talent. See? It says so on my adventurer's card. It's just as much of a skill than anything else! Why don't I play 'rock-paper-scissors' with you just to prove it?! I'll show you the true ability of a great person like myself!"

"What a useless talent! In fact, isn't Kazuma's self-proclaimed signature skill that 'Steal' which is only useful for perverted purposes?! In fact, all of Kazuma's abilities inexplicably have such lewd side effects! Are you sure that you didn't take points in 'Advanced Sexual Harassment'?! Really, Kazuma needs to develop other talents! Kazuma has gotten better at weightlifting haven't you? Why don't you dedicate yourself in improving your endurance and physical prowess? Now that is an admirable quality to have! Come, Kazuma, and join me in the path of muscles!"

"Oi! Stop stealing other people's gimmicks!"

"N-Not that I have muscles or anything!"

"…And then you just suddenly go back to your own."

Chris, who was watching us squabble, began to laugh.

Darkness and I turned to her. "What's so funny?!"

"Ah…I'm just noticing how close you two are. When I first met Darkness, she was so shy and reserved. I didn't even find out about her…tendencies until I finally encouraged her to come out of her shell. D-Doing so was a good idea…right?"

Chris began to doubt her previous decisions.

But she brought up a good point, I couldn't help but admit.

Although she still scared me a little with that certain aspect of her personality, my relationship with Darkness had gotten to the point where we could squabble like this.

Before, even though she was very open about her fetish, it felt as if Darkness was still keeping her distance from us.

"Ah. I guess I've been desensitized to her behaviour by now."

"Yes…I do feel that I've established a genuine friendship with Kazuma and everyone."

"…"

"…"

"Oi! Can't you read the mood?! You often say that Aqua can't read the mood, but it's you who can't!"

"Hah?! I'm just telling the truth! Ever since you peed on me in front of all those people in the capital, I'm just saying that whatever you do from now on wouldn't even surprise me any one bit!"

"C-Can you stop talking about that already?!"

"Lalatina peed herself! Pee! Pee! Pee! In fact, didn't Darkness also confess during that time we were stuck in that 'Ethereal Plane' or was it 'Realm'? I don't even remember anymore, but the point is that we heard quite a fascinating story about Darkness peeing herself until she was ten and how the maids had to wipe up her pee for all those years!"

"I-Is this true, Darkness?"

Even the laid back Chris seemed a bit disgusted upon hearing this.

"Noooo! I mean, yes, it's true, but…just stop talking about pee already!"

"Pee! Pee! Pee! Lala-Pee-na!"

"No! I-I drank a lot of tea so…s-stop shaking meeee!"

…

…

"Ah…I think you pushed her too far."

"Nah. She enjoyed it."

"T-That…maybe so."

Casting 'Bind' on Darkness as she dashed to the washroom.

She had to spend precious time getting up to her feet and then hopping up the stairs.

And then had to repeat the process after she tripped and rolled all the way down.

She just made it before we saw a repeat of that incident.

"…Ah…every day I've spent here has been fun."

Chris smiled nostalgically as she leaned back on the sofa.

I couldn't help but smile, too.

"I'm glad that you liked your time here, Eris-sama."

She chuckled. "Geez, what's with the 'Eris-sama', now?"

"You know, I think it took a few days for me to come to terms that, well, Chris = Eris."

It was like a plot twist in a novel that you had to re-read over and over again to come to terms with, and then you'd reread the previous installments and see the hints and then you'd go like 'ah!' I get it.

"Is that so, assistant-kun?"

"Still calling me that?"

"Is that so…Kazuma-san?"

Her voice took a gentle tone as she pointed to her scar and winked at me.

"Ah…how potent. So that's the technique that Eris-sama practiced in front of a mirror."

"Ahhh! Senpai is just exaggerating, OK?! I mean, I did that once but that's all just…doesn't Kazuma make all sorts of poses in the mirror, too, when no one is looking?!"

"How did you know about that?! I made sure to lock the door! Did you peek through the window?! That's a crime, you know!"

"I didn't do such things!"

"Then…don't tell me…back in heaven you…"

"Don't get the wrong idea! I suddenly had a whim to check up on you and happened to tune in just as you were mimicking the poses Megumin-san often does, and at the same time you were reciting the chant for 'Explosion' word for word!"

"Ahhhh! S-Stop!"

Blushing at having those dark memories uncovered so casually, I covered Chris's mouth.

"Mmmppph! Guuhhh!"

"Acckkk!"

I released my hand only when Chris elbowed me on the gut.

"Geez…even though Kazuma-kun acts so composed, you are riled up so easily."

"…I could say the same for Eris-sama."

"Stop calling me by my other identity already!"

"See?"

"Err…"

She pushed me away. "Ah! Kazuma-kun is infuriating!"

She pouted while crossing her arms.

"Hm…I sort of miss the times when Kazuma-kun had a bit of a crush on me. Well, the other me, anyways."

Chris chuckled while giving me a wry smirk.

"C-Crush…I wouldn't go that far."

"Puh-lease! I didn't need omniscience to see that much, Kazuma-kun."

"Hm…well, what can I say? Eris-sama has that 'orthodox main heroine' feel to her."

"Ah, 'orthodox main heroine', you say. You mean that moniker given to the blandest character in the cast, meant to appeal to the most common and generic taste of otaku nerds?"

"A-Apologize to all the main heroines out there and the people who like them!"

Part 3

The morning after, without any warning at all, Chris said this during breakfast.

"I'm planning on heading back to the capital."

Megumin, who was about to pour a pile of scrambled eggs on my plate, got distracted by Chris's sudden announcement.

And missed her target.

"Ouch! Hot! Hot! What are you doing?!"

"Ah, my bad. I was distracted. Just use 'Freeze' on it."

At least attempt to show some concern, you loli.

I had this thought as I cooled myself down, in the meantime, Darkness responded to Chris's unexpected announcement.

"If Chris feels that she's imposing…that's not true at all. We have more than enough room for Chris, and Kazuma is very wealthy. You don't even have to worry about expenses. One extra person won't even dent our budget. Kazuma could probably have everyone in the town live a comfortable life if he distributed his wealth."

"As if! I'm not that rich!"

Well…perhaps she wasn't exactly exaggerating.

"Hm? Kouhai is finally going away? Good riddance! I didn't want to say this, but I've considered kouhai as an imposing moocher all this time. So if you get the hint already, shoo-shoo. You are banished from my sacred abode!"

Aqua had taken to calling Chris 'kouhai' without fear of the other's getting suspicious.

Not like anyone took notice of any discrepancies in her already erratic behavior.

In fact, we all ignored her dismissive words.

"I will miss Chris's company very much," Megumin said. "I will especially miss all of our girl talks."

"A-Ah, y-yeah…"

Chris said this while unconvincingly returning Megumin's smile.

Really, what was this 'girls' talk' all about?

"U-Um, aside from maybe Aqua, we all want you to stay, Chris," Darkness said.

Upon seeing their earnest pleas, it seemed that Chris was wavering.

"OK, Chris. I'll help you pack your bags. In fact, I'll even lend you a 'Scroll of Teleportation' so you don't have to travel by carriage."

"?!"

Megumin and Darkness looked to me in disbelief, their mouths agape.

"What?! How could Kazuma say that to someone who has become a dear friend?!"

"I know that Kazuma is cruel…but you get along with Chris, too, don't you?!"

I ducked as these girls started throwing food at me.

"Oi! Even if we are rich, you shouldn't waste food!"

Aqua, however, looked on at me with pride and approval.

She patted my back. "Ah…finally, Kazuma has gotten over that creepy fixation on my kouhai and has decided to switch his devotion over to me, a true goddess. Now, I don't expect much from you. Your monetary offerings are more than sufficient as it is. In fact, I am using my company credit card from Kazu-Mall to fund my evangelical activities here in Axel. Now, all I require from you is your piteous devotion and you must pray to me at least during the times when you are about to bathe. That's right. I want you to think of me when you bathe. After all, everyone in this world should pray to me, the goddess of water, as they rely on the nourishment of the very same water that was taken from my body…"

"There are so many things I want to say to that! What company credit card?! Were you harassing Maxim again?! I told you to heal his condition, not to extort him! And please don't talk as if the very same water I drink daily comes out from the body of this dirty drunkard!"

As I strangled Aqua, Darkness came over and latched herself onto me while Megumin took to kicking my shins.

"Stop! Gack! Darkness, you'll actually kill me if you use your brute strength?!"

"I-I'm not even gripping you that hard!"

"Take this! And this! Yunyun normally gives up whenever I go for the shins!"

"Kazuma! I may be able to breathe underwater, but if you choke my windpipes like…even I will…gack!"

Watching us, Chris began to chuckle, which then escalated to a fit of laughter.

"…Ah….ahaha! I will really miss this…Darkness…senpai…Kazuma-kun…and…M-Megumin-san…"

She regarded each of us fondly but seemed to stumble a bit at the end there.

"…Then why don't you just stay?"

Darkness said this even as she was still crushing my shoulders.

"I still have a lot of things to do. Especially at the capital. Kazuma-kun knows this, which is why he didn't have problems with me leaving. So…please release him already. He really will die."

After finally being released, I collapsed to the ground, gripping my arms.

I had also released Aqua and she fell and started heaving.

For some reason, Megumin was still kicking my shins even as I had fallen.

"…Something you have to do…ah…"

As if she was conveniently overlooking it for all this time, Darkness remembered what we found out about Chris during that first night of her stay.

"Yup! I know that it's really hard to believe…but I'm doing all this for a reason, please understand that, Darkness."

Darkness could only nod.

Chris's smile wavered. She walked over to Darkness and pulled her into a hug.

"Geez! Eris-sama has already granted your prayers, hasn't she? In fact, you asked for one friend…but now you're surrounded by all sorts of people! Not only your party…but the people of this town, too! Darkness is loved by many!"

"T-That's true…"

Darkness looked at us warmly.

"Yup! I know it's true! And I'll be back, anyway! Geez! You weren't this sad when I left for the capital initially!"

"S-Sorry…for some reason, I don't know, maybe because now that I know about your…'activities'…you feel so far away all of a sudden…"

"Geez…"

She turned to Darkness, bent over slightly, finger pressed on her scarred cheek.

And then that enticing, teasing, so naturally seductive wink.

"I've always been watching over you, Darkness."

…

…

"Well, thanks everyone, for helping me pack."

Her luggage collected in the living room, Chris gave each of us a smile.

"Darkness…I'll come visit soon."

"Very soon."

"You got it."

They both giggled and then hugged.

While Darkness and Chris were still flirting, I mean, talking, Aqua coughed loudly.

"Ah…I happened to drop something *cough* *cough*…it just happened to land by kouhai's feet? Make yourself useful and pick it up."

"…"

It wasn't even close to Chris's feet, it landed near Darkness.

Nonetheless, ever the good sport, Chris walked over to Darkness and retrieved the item.

It was a small box.

Chris hesitantly opened it.

Darkness peered over. "Oh, how nice of Aqua! Is it jewelry? Or maybe a precious stone…eh?"

Megumin also looked over. "Knowing the expensive taste of Aqua, it must be something really…eh?"

Chris pulled out what was inside the box.

It was a game piece.

From the weird chess-like game that Megumin and Aqua often played, and the same one Chris demolished Aqua in during that first night.

"This is…a 'Thief' piece?"

Chris said this as she looked at the game piece over.

"J-Just so you know…I don't plan on replacing that piece! Even if I have to play at a disadvantage every time…that is…hmph!"

E-Eh?

So something like 'you are irreplaceable' to me?

It was like that?

We all blushed.

"C-Could it be that Aqua…"

"…S-So when she was acting cold to Chris…"

"…It was all a tsundere act?"

"I-I have a feeling that you are all misinterpreting something?! Oi!"

Chris placed the piece carefully back in the box.

"T-Thank you, senpai…"

"Let it not be said that the great Aqua-sama doesn't repay the favors given to her."

"…"

I doubted that the trouble Chris went through to get that artifact for Aqua could be compensated by this little, worn-out game piece.

Nonetheless, Chris smiled at Aqua's surprisingly nice gesture.

"Um, I know that this is the part where we're supposed to hug, but…"

"Well, maybe just a quick one?"

This time, the hug lasted more than 3 seconds.

Though, not by much.

Part 4

A few weeks had past since Chris left for the capital.

During that time...

"Well, Kazuma, I will rely on you once more."

"You can count on me."

Megumin and I nodded to each other before we headed down the familiar route leading to that old abandoned castle.

In that month of awkwardness, Megumin had been relying on Darkness or Aqua for her explosion needs.

But now that we had reconciled our relationship, so to speak, addressing the cause for that tension, albeit, in a very roundabout manner, we could resume our explosion walk routine, as per usual.

I felt relief and even some joy after that confession (?) from Megumin.

And I shared a heart-pounding moment with Megumin in that photo booth.

But…

Well…

Being satisfied by those things, I wasn't some lovestruck schoolgirl.

I may have been happy and satisfied with those things at the moment.

'Ah, is this really happening to me?'

I had those thoughts.

But, as time went on, and I looked back at those moments, I noticed something.

N-Nothing really happened, did it?

That was just some feel-good fluff, but in the end, nothing of relevance really occurred, right?!

Damn it! I had almost fallen for the cliché that male characters in anime and light novels fell into.

At this point, our days would go on with nothing progressing.

Another period of awkwardness might return, again.

But, I couldn't exactly just go up to Megumin and say, 'ah, I know that we talked about going slow and eventually figuring this out, but I am a man, too, and I have needs, and more than anything I hate this kind of slow moving romance, so please give me your body'.

Yeah.
I couldn't just say that.

Well…

At the same time…

What was stopping me from doing just that?

Arghh!

This is too hard to figure out for a dumb virgin like myself!

Oh, god!

Oh, Lord!

I really don't know what to do about this romantic development, Lord! Please give me some advice, Lord!

As I had these thoughts, I was silent as Megumin and I climbed up that hill.

"…"

"Hm? Kazuma? You've been very quiet so far. Is there something wrong?"

Walking ahead of me, Megumin turned around once she sensed my detachment.

"…Somehow, I feel like this is sort of a waste of time?"

"?!"

Megumin looked at me in shock and panic.

"W-What could Kazuma be talking about?! Ah, the look in your eyes tells me that this goes beyond our explosion routine. Tell me, what's wrong?"

"Promise that you won't be angry if I say this."

"I promise."

"Lately, I've been thinking that, a hero as great as me, who accomplished every goal I've set out for myself…well, I think that I should be getting laid right about now."

"…"

In a matter of seconds, all of the life in Megumin's eyes seemed to have been sucked out.

She continued to look at me blankly.

"And, well, there has been a good mood developing between me and Megumin, recently. Right?"

"…"

"I'm not saying that we go straight to babymaking. Just some casual hook-ups are fine. No, really, just the tip will do."

"…"

"Oi, you promised not to be angry!"

"…I'm not angry, am I? I'm somewhat disgusted, and a bit impressed that you could just up and say such things, but I'm not angry."

"Is that so? Well, there's some bushes over there. Should we do this before, or after the explosion? Not that I'm into doing it with paralyzed girls, but…"

"Just because I'm not exactly angry, doesn't mean that I'll just jump your bones just like that!"

"Stop sending mixed signals, already!"

"I'm really not the one sending mixed signals! It's Kazuma, isn't it?! You were so meek and shy during that 'talk' we had, and in that photo booth, too, you were so hesitant about everything! What brought this on?!"

"I realized my mistake, that's all. If I just keep fidgeting around, then I will fall into the same cliché traps that I despise."

"This was a mistake. I'll keep relying on Darkness and Aqua for my explosion routine from now on."

"Wait, let's not be hasty. I'll behave. I'm not the type of guy who preys on girls while they are in a defenseless state."

"I am rather inclined to believe you. Kazuma is a scum, but he is not a criminal."

"Yes, please place a bit more trust in me."

'Fine. I will put my trust in Kazuma."

With that said, we both shook hands and smiled.

…

…

"I see. So you do like black panties, huh? But these don't look particularly lacy. Megumin, we are rich now. We should buy you fancier underwear."

"It was a mistake! I should have known that trusting Kazuma was a mistake!"

After casting explosion on that castle that wasn't really a castle anymore but a pile of rubble, I couldn't help but do a certain kind of act after Megumin's depleted body flopped onto the ground.

That is, lying supine directly behind Megumin and peeking up her robes.

"In any case, I believe that this is more a fault to my character than Kazuma's, as I still can't get get genuinely angry or offended by your actions, even when every facet of common sense tells me that I should."

"Perhaps Megumin is growing up? After all, mature ladies wouldn't make such a big fuss at having what is essentially just a mere piece of fabric peeked at by a man. In fact, you should take this as a compliment."

"I am now starting to get a bit angry."

"Then, I will stop. See? I am a true gentleman. Although I did not exactly ask for consent, I ceased my questionable actions immediately after the lady asked me to."

"This is more a display of the deterring influence of the law rather than any morality or decency on Kazuma's part."

"..."

It was a miracle that Megumin didn't file any charges on me.

This was one of those moments that felt justified at the time, when one's libido was in full-control, surpassing any form of rationality, which would hit one's conscience and inflict regret only after the hormones had dissipated.

However, even after such blatant sexual harassment, Megumin still treated me like normal.

Megumin was pretty easy-going to begin with.

Aside from her tendency and need and want for general destruction, she was probably the most sensible one in our party.

Later that same day, after dinner time, as we were all lounging in the living room, I received another note from Megumin, reminding me of the first time she invited me to a 'talk'.

Can I visit your room tonight?

Yes:

No:

"Yes! Definitely yes!"

I yelled this aloud.

"What's wrong with Kazuma?"

"Don't pay attention to him. It will only reinforce his erratic behavior."

Aqua and Darkness rudely said these things.

And so, very much like last time, I took a bath.

But unlike last time, I was resolute in my actions.

Yes, my libido was taking over my rationality once more.

A little bit past midnight, I heard a knock on my door.

"Kazuma? It's me. May I come in?"

"Go ahead."

Megumin came in wearing her pajamas.

In her arms was Chomusuke.

"Can I lie down with Kazuma for a bit?"

Part 5

"And then, you won't believe this, Yunyun actually has this tattoo and it's located on her…"

"…"

It had been an hour since Megumin came to visit my room.

She was lying down on my bed with me.

With Chomusuke between us.

Chomusuke was sitting atop a two feet tall barricade of pillows separating Megumin and I, keeping her feline eyes on me and hissing whenever I moved even an inch closer to Megumin's side of the pillow fort.

And all this time, Megumin had been chatting about her daily life.

Rather than the amorous rendezvous I expected, this situation was like your younger sibling coming to your room late in the night to bug you because they couldn't fall asleep.

"…"

How disappointing.

After another half-hour of Megumin talking and me responding despondently, she eventually sat up and grabbed Chomusuke.

"Thank you, Kazuma. That was very fun. Can we do that again?"

She placed her hand on top of mine and then stood, smiled, and then left.

"…"

And so, that was the start of another routine with Megumin.

Megumin coming to my room late at night, bringing Chomusuke with her.

We would chat for an hour or so and then she'd return to her room.

I got blue-balled recently.

I was pretty bummed out about it.

But I think the one who blue-balled me was probably happier blue-balling me than I am sad to be blue-balled. The total happiness in this wonderful world just increased.

So, whatever.

"..."

Not!

Oi!

Why was that succubus in disguise playing with the heart of an innocent virgin like me?!

…

…

"Welcome! Satou-sama, you've been coming here a lot, lately!"

Greeting me was a drill-haired succubus.

"T-The life of a hero is very stressful, after all…"

"Kazuma-sama must have all sorts of responsibilities now. Who would have known that the Satou-sama who often requests for dreams involving strange, unfamiliar terms like 'Gravure Idols' and 'AV actresses' would go on to accomplish such great things!"

"…What happened to customer confidentiality?"

The other adventurers greeted me as I was led along to my usual booth.

"Kazuma is here? Even though he is the famous hero now, he still has to use a service like this?"

"Ah, I thought that Kazuma was already dating the crazy explosion girl?"

"Don't worry, Kazuma. Let's all be wet dream bros from now on."

"…"

"Here you are, Kazuma-sama."

I was seated at my usual table.

"Ah, Kazuma, you're here again."

At the table next to mine, everything below his face hidden by a divider, was the blond delinquent, Dust.

"Ah…what are you ordering today, Kazuma? Are you gonna ask for those girls in that group back in your homeland? What were they called…'AKB69'…or something?"

"Really! What happened to customer confidentiality around here?!"

I yelled this as I threw my pen at Dust's head.

"Oi! I get it. You're frustrated for all sorts of reasons. No need to take it out on me. We're all in the same boat here."

Despite the subject matter, Dust was talking reasonably.

"Yeah. Sorry. It's just that one of my teammates have been causing me some distress, recently."

"Ah. I gotcha. My party member, Rin, has been getting on my nerves, too. That's why I'm looking forward to some hardcore revenge play with her tonight. Buwehehehe~"

Hm?

This delinquent mentioned something interesting?

"I thought that the 'hardcore revenge' setting was banned for all sorts of morality reasons?"

Initially, the succubi had a policy of 'anything goes'.

But, they severely underestimated the twisted minds of a lonely bachelor.

"In the end, it's all just a dream, anyway," Dust said. "So, even if that setting is kind of iffy…and borderline really screwed up, the succubi finally ignored their conscience and gave in to our incessant demands. And so, the ban on 'hardcore revenge' play was lifted."

T-These guys were ruthless.

True scum.

Still, such a setting…

Now, you must understand.

At this point, it had been two weeks since my routine with Megumin started.

Ever since then, I've been blue-balled to the point of insanity.

The frequent visits to the succubus shop helped, but it wasn't a permanent fix to my predicament.

And I didn't know how Megumin would react if I cancelled our nightly-meet ups too many times.

Damn it!

It was all that loli's fault!

Teasing a horndog virgin like me was just plain cruel!

I needed to get back at her somehow!

Well, that was my reasoning.

And so, encouraged by Dust as he unhesitatingly wrote his party member's name under the 'hardcore revenge' settings, while spurred on by my pent up desires…

"Thank you, Kazuma-sama. Expect us to visit tonight."

"Buwehehehe~!" x 2.

I made this strange sound with Dust as we made our way out of the succubus shop.

Part 6

I usually stayed out at an inn whenever I used the succubus service.

I wasn't like Aqua, who never learns from her mistakes.

Resting my head on a pillow, getting my body comfortable, I prepared myself for a night of good dreams.

Soon, I drifted off to sleep.

The transition was always seamless, but obvious.

From a lying position, I found myself standing.

I looked around and and instantly recognized the familiar route of my explosion routine with Megumin.

And, on my back, was a familiar weight.

"That was a splendid explosion! How would you rate it, Kazuma?"

Without even needing to turn around, I recognized my passenger immediately.

Even though this was just a dream, and that kind of dream, somehow, I felt compelled to answer as I would to the real Megumin.

"Perfect score."

"It feels strange to complain, but it's always a perfect score these days."

Ever since her Explosion became a warhead-class, anything below a perfect score was just a fraudulent evaluation.

"Maybe we should go beyond 100? Or maybe we should go into negatives."

"Would you really want to be rated with negatives?"

"How about a letter grade system?"

"The result will be the same."

Dream-Megumin and I engaged in the usual small talk for a while.

"Ah, Kazuma. There's a small clearing over there. Let's rest a bit."

I didn't know if such a clearing really existed in reality, or not.

Regardless, I followed dream-Megumin's instructions.

"Let's sit over there, by the creek."

There was a creek by the clearing that was hidden behind some shrubbery.

I cleared past the foliage with my hands as we made our way to the creek.

The creek's currents were gentle moving and coursed to the east and you could follow the path of the water with your sight only until a pair of large and thick trees impeded your vision.

Within the clear and shallow waters you could see the bed of white rocks underneath, and you could spot them, slithering across the rocks, the local catalogue of aquatic species that included these large tadpoles that would eventually grow into Giant Toads in their adulthood.

I sat dream-Megumin down on a dry and smooth patch of grass and I sat down beside her and we continued to chat some more.

At this point, I had somehow forgotten that this was a dream, as I got lost in the conversation. Somehow I found real delight in the tired variations of conversational threads we've woven many times previous.

Dream-Megumin placed her hand on top of mine.

"What a perfect day. I'm glad that I got to share it with you."

My erotic energies had dissipated.

My malicious intentions were forgotten.

I was filled with a profound sense of peace.

And then I woke up.

I blinked my eyes.

I was once more in the dark room of the inn.

I sat up and shuffled out of my bed sheets.

Just to make certain of it, I checked my underwear, but I couldn't find the usual biological spillage.

I had requested a 'hardcore revenge' scenario, something of the sort that would have someone like Darkness squeamish and hesitant.

And yet, the dream settings were somehow supplanted by that lovey-dovey scenario.

"…"

I didn't need any knowledge in dream psychology to decipher the contents of that dream.

Ah.

Oh, no.

This is bad.

Part 7

The next day, first thing in the morning, I made my way to the Succubus Shop.

A different Succubus greeted me. It was the receptionist succubus onee-san who serviced me on my first visit here.

"My, my. If it isn't Kazuma-sama. I heard that you came by yesterday. Why are you back so soon?"

I lowered my voice so as not to cause a scandal.

"Actually, I came here with a complaint."

Despite how I lowered my voice, the usually lively ambience of the Succubus Shop was overcome by silence.

"Hey, what is that guy complaining about? This place is practically heaven."

"Maybe he's just trying to blackmail the Succubi by saying things like 'If you don't want me to make a big deal out of this, then service me not only in my dreams, but in real life, too'. What a scumbag. Let's kill this guy."

The real scumbag was the one who could come up with such a scenario on the spot, I thought.

"Oi, maybe he's dissatisfied with the service because he's, you know, a homo?"

"Idiot. There's nothing stopping you from requesting a male partner. N-Not that I'd know anything about that…"

I made sure to remember the faces of these gossipers maligning my good name.

"Oh, my. It would not be an exaggeration to say that Kazuma-sama's steady contributions is what keeps our operations afloat. We need to take this complaint seriously."

"No, the way you said that framed me as some kind of super-pervert. Please take that back."

"In any case, please come in."

She ushered me in and led the way inside to an area in the succubus shop I've never visited before.

"This is our office. Please come in."

I was led to a space that could be considered an office, if it weren't for the abundance of personal effects, and the coat rack in the corner that was used as a sort of impromptu hanging place for discarded underwear.

"I apologize for the mess. While this is, indeed, an office, we rarely need to bring clients here, so as you see, it's in this sort of state."

The embarrassed look on this sexually dominant succubus was quite refreshing.

And sort-of a turn on.

I was seated and given tea. Once the usual social protocols were exchanged, she proceeded to address my concerns.

"So, in regards to your complaint, please elaborate, Kazuma-sama."

I told her about the dream. About what went wrong. About the lack of erotic activity and how, instead of the hardcore play I requested, I was given a scenario that would not be amiss in a schoolgirl's romantic daydream.

Once I finished, I sipped some tea and leaned back on my chair.

She considered me for a second, and then gave a wry smile.

"I will say this much, Kazuma-sama. The nature of our powers is in the realms of 'suggestion' rather than direct 'manipulation'. We can guide your subconscious to conceive a dream based on your preferences, but to do more than that is impossible."

She poured tea for herself and took a sip. "As for why your request for a hardcore scenario was nullified, I imagine that this must also be the work of your subconscious."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Why, it's simple. There's no way that your subconscious will allow you to see, even if it is in the confines of a dream, your beloved hurt in any way, am I right?"

There was a pause.

She sipped on her tea again.

"There must be some kind of mistake here," I said.

"It really seems quite obvious to me that Kazuma-sama truly cares for this girl…in fact, a succubus as myself can sense these things."

She grinned.

"Isn't Kazuma-sama in love?"

Chapter END

Next Chapter: 16.5 & Extras