Chapter 16.5: A Glopping Noise for this Blue-Balling Loli! & Extras
Part 1
"Isn't Kazuma-sama in love?"
The receptionist succubus said this, while grinning.
She proceeded to drink her tea.
Hm?
Wait a second?
Satou Kazuma, as in me?
In love?
With Megumin?
Huh…
Well.
Hm.
Right.
Interesting.
The freakiest part about all this was that I didn't really find any problems with it.
It was more a feeling of 'I see!', rather than any form of distress.
For the longest time now, there was a certain mood developing between Megumin and me.
And we had already affirmed with one another the existence of this 'certain mood'.
Rather, when I thought back to it, when I was starting to feel that my next purpose in life was to pass on my genes, to begin 'babymaking', who was the person I immediately considered as my potential mate?
I even went so far as to outright ask Megumin, 'hey, wanna make babies with me?'
Sure, I said it as if I was joking, or fooling around, like usual.
But…
Gah!
What the hell is happening to me, really?!
Damnit!
Trying to explain things away, trying to decipher the 'whys' and 'hows' of how such feelings develop...these are the traits that classify a virgin.
Rather, it was because I had these traits that I was still a virgin!
I am Satou Kazuma. One who still wields his V-card. The number one Hiki-NEET in Axel.
S-Something like that.
"In any case, some form of compensation is in order. Hm...as a special service...how does Kazuma-sama feel about receiving assistance from us succubi in your romantic endeavours?"
As I was deep in thought, the receptionist succubus made this proposition.
Immediately, the words 'special service' took my notice.
"...Kazuma-sama, I can sense your lust. It is practically pouring out of you. Um, despite what it may seem like, I am a professional above all. I will not fraternize with customers. Please keep that in mind."
This succubus who had just been speaking in a suggestive and husky voice switched to an all-business monotone.
"I wasn't really thinking about anything weird!" I said. "Rather, if a succubus says something like 'special service' while speaking in such a sexy tone of voice, what else am I supposed to assume?"
"K-Kazuma-sama is speaking so passionately. Even though I feel I did nothing wrong, some part of me is compelled to submit?"
Astounded by my firm approach, this confident succubus began to waver.
She then said,
"I merely meant to offer my assistance to Kazuma-sama. In fact, I have a plan, something that will help Kazuma-sama in regards to his...beloved…"
She kept her mouth sealed tight, but I was sure that I heard something.
Something like a 'kyaaa~'.
I noticed also that the succubus would begin to look and sound like a maiden whenever she said the word 'beloved'.
"It wouldn't hurt to listen, Kazuma-sama. Here is my plan…"
The plan involved having a succubus 'invade' the mansion and have her 'bewitch' me in front of Megumin.
And then, in my 'bewitched' state, I was free to do and say whatever I wanted to Megumin with no fear for the consequences.
After all, I was under the control of an evil succubus.
It was like the situation with Darkness, almost.
"Well, how does Kazuma-sama like my plan?"
The receptionist succubus smiled at me.
I smiled back.
"Rejected."
"Eh?! I-I thought that it was a solid plan! I thought for sure that the unscrupulous Kazuma-sama would approve without any hesitation!"
"Don't look so dismayed! Sure, that plan checks out in terms of logistics, but what about me, huh?! You think I'm just going to go along with that so I can get laid, or something?! Get real! I'm a human being, too! Despite that awful moniker involving the word 'scum' that my reputation is attached to, I'm really just a poor, innocent cherry boy at heart! And don't think that I didn't hear that 'kyaaa~' earlier! Even though you're a succubus, I guess you have fantasies about romance, too, huh? Well, I'll have you know that I'm not just some puppet you can vicariously push your fantasies onto, you know?! I can't just do whatever so you can satisfy your curiosity, you know?!"
That's right.
I knew what this succubus was.
Her likes could be found in the forums and image boards I frequented back in Japan.
This succubus was a shipper.
"W-Who said anything about me being curious about Kazuma-sama's love life?! This is just a service, a 'special service'! This is Kazuma-sama's compensation for the failed dream!"
She said such things with confidence even though she was going 'kyaaa~' earlier.
"There you go with 'special service' again! Damn it! For a while now, I've been thinking. Rather than operating only in 'dream' services, why don't the succubi serve me in 'reality', too…"
"And you wonder why you're called with that certain name in this town?! I know that Kazuma-sama is just repeatedly attempting to assert his masculinity and libidinous persona in an attempt to push away his feelings for…hehe...his beloved...kyaaaa~! Ah..."
She covered her mouth as the 'kyaaa~' involuntarily came out.
"Please ignore that," she said.
As if I could!
I stood from my chair and slowly extended my hand toward this succubus.
She reacted by looking at my hand nervously as she started to lean away.
"I've had enough with your shipping theories! Take this! 'Drain Touch'!"
"Gyaa?! Why?! Why is Kazuma-sama assaulting me?!"
She begun to slump as I grabbed her wrists and sucked away her life-energy.
Her butt crashed against the desk as her body began to grow limp.
As I restrained her, I said this,
"I'm not pushing any feeling away or anything, OK?!"
"Kazuma-sama…guh! I regret to inform you that…there's no market for male tsundere…"
"I am not at all attempting to appeal to some obscure market. Really, you've insulted me too many times now already!"
I said this as I kept sucking out more life-energy from this succubus.
Even though I've already somewhat come to an internal resolution in regards to Megumin, it was quite another matter to have someone else keep pointing out your vulnerabilities and insecurities.
And thus, somewhat irrationally, I retaliated like so.
"Wait! If Kazuma-sama has the life-energy of a succubus inside of him…"
As the succubus said this, I began to feel strange.
My body felt...light?
"...Succubi are creatures of lust, so...well…"
Oh.
Shit.
There was a tingly, warm sensation that rushed throughout my body in waves.
And then, down there.
My troubled 'son' that was already beleaguered by the blue-balling of Megumin, expressed its distress by poking out of its confines, as if begging its master for release.
A single tear rolled down my cheek, just at the same time as my 'son' started 'crying' too, it's 'tears' now staining my pants.
Part 2
"Kazuma? What are you doing back so late? And why do you look like you've lost weight?!"
Darkness cried in concern as she examined my exhausted body.
"..."
I had to exhaust all of the excess lust that I absorbed from the succubus.
I used 'Drain Touch' to return the vitality I stole, but the lust component managed to stick in my system.
So, I needed to 'release' it.
I've been receiving wet dreams from the succubi non-stop for the entire day.
While in a comatose state, my 'son' continued working hard.
However, despite all the countermeasures, my body wasn't completely sated.
I was taking a big risk coming home.
Coming home with nothing but ecchi things occupying my thoughts.
Those girls were in a lot of danger while I was in this state.
"Ah? Kazuma? Wait, bleh! You stink! You stink like that masked guy who runs a store with that even stinkier lich!"
I didn't know if she was referring to the stench of the succubus's life-energy still running in my veins, or the lingering essence of my 'son's' 'juice' that stuck to my body even after numerous baths.
"Kazuma's cheek bones actually look like they've shrunken! For dinner, I prepared some meat. Come here, Kazuma. We need to get some nourishment in your body!"
Darkness pulled me along to the dining room.
With her strength and my weakened state, I could hardly resist.
I licked my chapped lips. I was more dehydrated than hungry, actually.
My 'son' worked hard, after all.
"Ah, Kazuma, you're finally back."
Megumin said this from the living room.
She was reading a book and wearing a casual black dress.
My eyes immediately targeted her exposed legs.
"Well, yeah. I'm back."
"Hm? Kazuma, is there something wrong…? Wait, doesn't Kazuma look like he's slowly dying?!"
Noticing my feeble state as well, Megumin stood from her seat and came over to fuss over me along with Darkness.
"First of all, we should get him some food…"
I was led to the dining room.
The dining room smelled like the meat Darkness advertised. The type of meat and how it was cooked was hard to pinpoint by smell alone. Darkness's food usually lacked any distinguishable flavor, not that her cooking was bad, the taste was just largely forgettable.
"Here, Kazuma, eat."
"Ah, make sure to eat some of the veggies, too. Here's some rice."
"Does Kazuma want some soy-sauce? Ah, sorry, the lid came off."
As Darkness and Megumin tried their best to nurse me back to health, Aqua kept countering their efforts with her clumsiness and general lack of awareness.
"Aqua, why don't you go to the living room and read something? You didn't get a chance to read today's paper yet, right? If you go to the comics section, there is quite an amazing new development in the 'Jack Frost' comic-strip series."
Megumin said this to Aqua in an attempt to politely tell her to buzz-off.
But, as usual, Aqua couldn't read the mood at all.
"Hm, if Kazuma is sick or hurting then I can heal him? 'Heal'!"
"No, wait…ugooooohhhhhh~! It hurts...stop, it hurts!"
"Eh? Healing magic should work well on those on the side of good! If performed on someone who is evil, the healing magic will do damage instead…"
Darkness said this while suspiciously looking at me.
"Yes! I've been smelling this stench from kazuma for a while now, it's the stench of a devil!"
Aqua also started to scrutinize me.
"Jiiiiiiiiiii…" x 2.
These two circled me like sharks about to pounce on their prey.
Until they were hit on the head by Megumin.
"Geez, you two. Knock it off already."
"S-Sorry." x 2.
Those two were disciplined by a girl shorter and younger than them.
Megumin turned to me and smiled.
"For now, Kazuma, just eat up and regain your vitality."
"Y-Yes."
Darkness looked at my face and gasped.
"N-Now his face has turned incredibly red?! A fever, he has a fever!"
"I'll cast healing magic, now!"
"Ugooooohhhhh~!"
"I told you two to stop!"
I was tortured in this way for the rest of the night.
Part 3
"Tch! As if that clueless Aqua wasn't enough, that fake noble who only pretends to be smart just had to keep butting in, too…"
I laid on my bed as I cursed out those two who only made my condition worse with their 'assistance'.
I was already wearing my sleep-wear, skipping out on my routine bathing even though my body was coated in sweat, only because I wanted to sleep and forget about all the unpleasant things that occurred that day.
The over-eager, shipper succubus who kept throwing out terms like 'love' around.
My torture in the hands of Darkness and Aqua.
This was the worst day of my life!
"Where's Chomusuke. I need her to heal my soul."
The Chomusuke who's soft and furry body I often took comfort in.
"Well, I have Chomusuke here, if you want her that much."
"!"
Megumin's voice interrupted my thoughts.
She peered through the half-way open door, grinning as she did so.
In her hands, she held up Chomusuke.
Ah, that's right.
It was time for our nightly routine.
"No, thank you."
"Eh?"
After I said such dismissive words while forming my arms in an 'X', Megumin's grin turned into a startled gaping of the mouth.
"I'm already all out of sorts. I don't need this temptress to come in here and give me all sorts of hopes, only to leave me hanging at the last second."
"Is that...is that really what you think of me?! This routine of ours, is that really what Kazuma thinks about it?!"
This girl really didn't know?!"
"What? I thought that Megumin would often come to my room this late at night just to assert your control over me? Something like 'oi, there may be a good mood around us recently, but you better not get any strange ideas!'"
"That's too cruel?! If Kazuma actually thinks that I'm capable of such things, I'll actually cry?!"
True enough, moisture started to gather around her eyes.
"Oi, wait, some of that was just an exaggeration on that part. I don't know what to do when a girl cries, so please don't."
She rubbed her eyes with the back of her pajama sleeves.
"In any case, even if it was an exaggeration, some part of Kazuma must have felt that way. Please understand that I was just trying to deepen our relationship in the best way I knew how. I wasn't trying to lead you on, or anything."
"Ah, that's right. There's no way that the innocent loli shojo Megumin would know that the best way to deepen a relationship is through all sorts of mature activities…"
"In terms of mature activities…Kazuma was also talking about it the other day…about making babies and all that."
Suddenly, what I thought had just been a bit of banter turned into a topic like this.
She was still hiding behind the door. In Megumin's hands, peering up at her master, was Chomusuke who was tilting her head in confusion.
Yes, Chomusuke, I was also confused.
For the Megumin who had just admitted to not know anything about the blue-balling torment she ran me through for the last several weeks, to just so bluntly bring up 'babymaking', such a development was not only unexpected, it was borderline absurd.
"Ah, no wait, this is where the punchline comes in, doesn't it? OK. Bring it on. I'll perform my straight-man role properly."
I smiled wryly as I recognized the clichéd development before it occurred.
"…Kazuma…although I may not know much about it, but based on what you said, the way you've been acting as of late, and how you came home looking like a sub-type of the undead…Kazuma is, well, 'backed up', right?"
Megumin was mumbling and the projection of her voice bounced off the wooden door.
But I still heard it all with perfect clarity.
Yes, obviously, I was backed up.
From the blue-balling, from my confused emotions, and from the shock the succubus had given me with that careless revelation.
And to add to all that was the succubus life-energy still whirling inside my body.
"Ah, Kazuma doesn't need to say anything more. I can see it on your face."
To have this little girl have such a perfect read on my mental and emotional state…
How embarrassing.
Megumin opened the door fully now and she stepped into the room.
Megumin slowly walked into the room and the moonlight from outside shone on her and seemed to isolate her tiny body in the darkness of the room.
"…Kazuma, let me affirm this with you again. There is 'something' going on between us, this much is clear, right?"
"Yeah…"
The 'something' that referred to the good mood accumulating between us.
It would be reckless to attach romance into this 'something' right away.
At least, that was what we concluded.
But, all the more…
Even if the succubus didn't say it, this had always been on my mind.
Even so, I still didn't really want to admit it to myself!
Whether if it was from my 'virgin' status, or my inexperience, or maybe I really was just born to be neurotic when it comes to these kinds of things, I didn't want to directly admit to anything of what the succubus asserted, even if I would be doing so in the privacy of my own thoughts.
But, I was still aware of it, and that was enough to actually make a difference.
Megumin hugged Chomusuke tighter to her chest.
And then she said,
"We concluded that it would be best to take it slow, and I'm not asking Kazuma to say anything definitive, but…I'd like to know if maybe you want more of this 'something', even if it's only a little bit more of what we presently have."
Really, what a thing to ask for.
She was basically asking me to confess, wasn't she?
However, I suppose it had always been traditionally the man's responsibility to confess.
Even if I was an advocate for gender equality, I had to admit that it was somewhat uncool to make a younger girl take the initiative.
In fact, hadn't it been Megumin who had been taking the lead so far?
I blamed her for that month of silence between us, when she kept delaying that 'talk'.
But really, if I wanted something to progress, I could have just taken initiative and forced Megumin to talk to me.
Ah.
Really.
When it comes down to it, I was just a coward, wasn't I?
In the face of this Megumin whose eyes were glowing so hard that it hurt to look at them.
Who was gripping Chomusuke so tight with her increased strength stats that the cat began to pale in the face even though its fur was a deep black.
To this Megumin who's done so much already, trying her best to progress our relationship with that ill-conceived, but well-intentioned nightly-routine.
To this Megumin, I resolved to say this,
"Megumin asked if I wanted more, right?"
She slowly nodded, completely averting my gaze as her eyes burned crimson.
"…If I were to say 'yes', would I get to do all sorts of ecchi things with Megumin?"
"…"
The light in Megumin's eyes diminished in intensity.
No.
Rather, it completely died.
"Eh? Did Kazuma really just say that? Really?! In a time like this, you really just said that?!"
The intense moment was broken.
Megumin looked at me as if I were a piece of trash.
Not backing down, I resolved to state my case!
I took a deep breath.
And then I said the following,
"I just need to make sure, OK? What if I end up embarrassing myself here by saying all sorts of things and it just turns out that nothing at all will change between us? Wouldn't that be a waste of effort on my part? Say, for example, that I were to progress to the point where I'm dating Megumin, hypothetically. What sorts of things could I do to my hypothetical girlfriend, Megumin? Would I be able to kiss her small and soft looking lips? Would I get to touch her still budding but perky chest? Would I get to bury my nose in her dark hair and sniff her essence while I fondle her body? And of course, going back to the topic you brought up earlier…baby-making. Although, I must admit that this came from me initially, so it may sound weird if I'm trying to avoid responsibility, but please hear me out. For the first couple years or so in my hypothetical relationship with my hypothetical girlfriend Megumin, until Megumin grows up a little, I am content with simply making love and 'releasing' myself outside. After all, even though we are financially stable, well, more than just 'stable', I would like to enjoy a couple years of juvenile love-making without having to worry about the 'package' awaiting for me in 9 months. Ah, but don't worry. I consider myself as a guy who will spend his life with one girl. I am not the type who wants to build a harem. I won't just have fun for those two years and break things off. Let's say, when Megumin is 16? Yes, 16, that would be a good time to worry, I mean, marry, don't you think? And if we marry in the middle of the year…Megumin will be 16.5? That's also around the time when girls stop growing. So, if Megumin doesn't grow any more than she already has by the time she is 16.5, if she is indeed a perpetual loli, then no one can accuse me of being a lolicon. It can't be helped, after all. It's just genetics."
After I finished talking, I looked at Megumin, who had remained standing there during my speech.
"Well, do you understand?"
I asked this of her.
"…Yes, I understand."
"Oh? You do? Well, what a relief! Megumin is still looking at me as if I'm trash so I thought that I screwed up somewhere…"
"What I understand is that Kazuma really is backed up! Goodness! What was that?! Where did that come from?! Although I'm not going to pretend to have a deep understanding of the male anatomy and its biological workings, that's really too much, isn't it?! What happened to the Kazuma who is normally rational?!"
Megumin said this as she dropped Chomusuke, finally, who began to heave after being released from her master's tight grip.
"Oi. I feel like I went above and beyond the call of duty there. You were probably just expecting me to give you some vague and roundabout answer, right? Well, there you go. I told you the truth. If you want a clichéd response after asking me 'do you want more?', well, I'm not going to give it to you. I've actually done a bit of soul searching myself recently and this is what I came up with. We've defeated the devil king, we've attained unimaginable riches, and unless you want to spend the next couple of years idling about, I suggest we have a head start on our life, now, if you're actually committed in this 'something'."
I looked at the Megumin whose eyes began to illuminate once more.
She looked for Chomuske, but the cat had already scurried off.
Instead, she fidgeted her hands as she stood there, bathed in moonlight.
"I don't think Kazuma really means all of this? Well, I think you do, at this moment, but you might waver in the future. That's really the kind of man you are. But…somehow I can't really hate that part of you. Hah…don't tell me that I'm slowly becoming a girl like Darkness?"
Saying such things, she showed an uneasy smile.
"The truth is…Kazuma is really backed up, right? That's why you're saying all these ridiculous things?"
"…"
Was that it, I wonder?
No, I honestly felt that a bit of what I really felt slipped out while I was ranting earlier.
Even now, I didn't think 'ah, I shouldn't have said that!'
Instead, I felt relieved after letting it all out.
But, for Megumin's benefit…
This was all probably moving too fast for her.
And so, with her peace of mind in consideration, I said,
"Well, yes. I suppose I'm acting somewhat out of my mind…since I'm so backed up."
Hah.
Even though I said things like 'this is for Megumin's sake', I was really just avoiding the issue again, wasn't I?
Looking at Megumin, I expected her to call me a 'pervert' and a 'horn-dog' and such.
"Then…if Kazuma is backed-up…maybe I can take care of it?"
Eh?
Part 4
H-How did it come to this?
"Kazuma…um…I'm taking my clothes off now, so don't look…"
"…Sure."
I turned around as Megumin started taking her clothes off.
I could hear the clothes slipping off her body, as she dropped the garments on the floor.
Really?
Really?
Really, really, really?
Was this really happening?
"Say…this isn't a succubus dream, is it?"
"Are you calling me a 'succubus' and 'temptress' again?! I'm already willing to do this much for Kazuma, so stop calling me those things!"
Megumin shouted this from behind me.
"And Kazuma…you should take your clothes off as well…"
"Ah…right…"
I began to take my top off.
"…"
When I got it off, I felt as if I was being watched.
"Um…don't tell me that Megumin is being a hypocrite and is checking out my body?"
"A-As your personal trainer, I felt that it was my responsibility to check out your progress and…um…Kazuma is looking pretty good…"
I gulped.
The way she said that last part…
I felt a bit of lust in it.
I subconsciously ran my hands along my arms.
Thanks to the 'Zenk*I Boost' training, I've become a bit ripped lately.
"Kazuma, you can turn around, now."
Even though I was going to see her pretty much naked, she didn't want me to watch the strip show.
Even when that was the best part!
But despite my complaints, I couldn't help but gawk at Megumin's body, at her exposed skin and the flush of red that suffused throughout it as she embarrassedly gazed away.
"Megumin, I can't see everything. Move your hands so I can see the…"
"This is enough! This is more than enough service! Let's just hurry up and get this over with, OK?"
"Normally, girls would want to take their time in these things…but if that's what you prefer…"
Still covering herself up, she took a seat.
I took a seat behind her.
"Well…sorry, I don't really know what to do," I said.
I've done this by myself, but of course, I wouldn't know what to do when it was another person's body I was dealing with.
"I'll leave that up to you."
She said this while hugging herself tightly, seeming to shrink in on herself.
I began to touch her naked back.
"Nn!"
"Sorry, did that startle you?"
"This is really embarrassing! Why am I doing this?! Maybe we should stop!"
"No way?! You're blue-balling me after we've come this far?! You really are a temptress! You succubus!"
I hurled such insults as Megumin began to stand.
"Why, you…gah! Even though I know that you're just trying to provoke my competitive spirit, I can't help but fall for it! Why am I so easy?!"
She sat down again, covering her face this time.
"Just stay there. I'll start over again."
Resuming from where I left off…
"Hahn…"
"Um…does it feel good?"
"Is it supposed to feel good? I don't know…"
"Well, it shouldn't feel bad."
"Then I guess it feels good…"
Encouraged now, I resumed with my work.
"Uwaa~ a girl's skin feels so soft…"
"I can do without the commentary. In fact, please just shut up."
"Now it's time for the front," I said.
"Really, just shut up!"
It was my turn next.
"…I'll touch Kazuma now."
"Yes, I'll be in your care."
Looking down at me, Megumin gulped.
She reached out with her hands and started rubbing me down there.
"It's hard…"
"Well, it's expected."
She gulped. "Somehow, I like the way it feels against my hand."
"You may do as you please. I'll work on Megumin, too. Ah, but to do this, we need to get you wet."
"T-That's not a problem. I'm already wet…"
I touched her and indeed it did feel wet.
"Does this feel good, Megumin?"
I asked this as I started to work on her.
"Stop asking if it feels good! Nn! Actually, it does feel a bit good…better than when I do it myself."
"That's obvious. Having someone do it for you should indeed feel better than when you do it yourself. You can rely on me anytime you want to do this."
"Don't get ahead of yourself…ahn!"
I was gentle with my administrations at first but I naturally began to dig deeper, really getting in there.
"That…feels good, Kazuma. I might get addicted to this…"
"Megumin, it's about time to finish…"
"OK…I'm ready…Kazuma, pour it all over me…"
I nodded as I unleashed my load.
Grunting in exertion, I poured it all over Megumin.
"Close your eyes, Megumin, here it comes!"
"Mmnn~!"
Megumin shut her eyes as the hot liquid poured down her head and dripped down her body.
"Ahn!"
Two buckets worth of water made a glopping noise as it poured endlessly down Megumin's head.
I rinsed out the thick shampoo, her hair making squelching sounds as I worked my hands in there and squeezed the moisture out.
"That feels refreshing. It really does feel better having another person wash your hair," Megumin said. "I'll finish Kazuma's front now. Your workout routine really is working well, Kazuma. Your abs feel very hard to the touch."
"Well, thank you for taking the time to oversee my training," I said.
"I'm just repaying you for all those times you accompanied me in my explosion routine."
She rinsed my front, taking a sponge and dripping hot water down from my chest to my abdomen, which she had been rubbing at with a cloth earlier.
"Let's get in the bath, now," she said.
I followed her into the bath, sighing as I let the bath water calm my body.
I was taking a bath with Megumin.
The second time I've taken a bath with her like this.
This was Megumin's idea of taking care of my blue-balls.
She said that she didn't mind showing a bit of skin if it would satisfy my accumulated lust.
'I'll even allow Kazuma to wash me…'
She said such things.
And now I was watching her as she submerged herself in the bath, sighing happily.
"This is as far as I'm willing to go, in terms of mature activities, but I hope that Kazuma gained some satisfaction tonight."
"Y-Yeah…"
She gave me a smile that was completely free of deceit or ulterior intent.
"…"
Well, I had a feeling that I should be disappointed.
No, I feel like I should complain to someone.
This is really disappointing.
Really.
I wanted more than this.
Still, I couldn't help but feel thankful that, at least, she made an effort to please me.
Even if this is a complete waste of time.
Even if I feel like I really wanted to complain to somebody.
I should be just satisfied with this for now.
Yes.
Let me reiterate this again.
Even if this is a complete waste of my time.
Even if I wanted and anticipated more than this.
Even if I feel like I've been cheated and mislead.
I should just be thankful for what I have right now.
So far, the relationship I had with Megumin was in a good state.
And in these past five months or so since I defeated the Devil King and had my daily life compromised, I've been on many perilous, yet exhilarating adventures.
Every chapter in this new tale of mine has been pretty enjoyable so far!
So, when I consider all this, even if I'm pissed off, even if my ships aren't exactly sailing at full speed, so to speak, I should just be happy that things are progressing at all.
Really, I should thank god, or Lord, or whoever else is responsible for orchestrating these events, for everything that I have at this moment, even if I'm not completely satisfied with the way things are going.
I really shouldn't complain!
Even if I find this development pretty boring, and I feel like I want to pick a bone with somebody.
"…"
After we got out of the bath, I put my clothes back on and escaped through the window. I used a combination of 'Feather Fall' and 'Wind Breath' to float my way up to my room, while Megumin came out normally through the door. We did this to avoid being seen coming out together.
Well, I didn't leave right away. I had stayed in the bath for a few more minutes after Megumin left.
I needed to take care of the 'tension', after all.
Just as I was floating away from the window, I heard a voice.
I heard Aqua humming as she entered the bathroom.
"Bathing time, bathing time, la, la, la~!"
Wait.
Did I drain the bathwater yet?
I had these thoughts as I heard the sound of Aqua entering the bathwater.
"Ah…how refreshing! Hm? What's this white stuff floating in the water? Ah, maybe this is a new bath oil that Megumin or Darkness is using? I'll use it then! Rub, rub, rub! Rub this white stuff all over my body~"
"…"
After witnessing such a thing…
...All the lust that had accumulated in my body disappeared in an instant.
Ah.
To think that it's Aqua who would cure my blue-balls.
That's the team's healer, for you.
How great.
How wonderful.
OK.
Now, please tell me where can I file a complaint?
…
…
Extra # 1: A Girls' Talk Between Rivals (?) in Love (?)!
I examined these girls who I called over to my room for a 'Girls' Talk'.
Chris, Darkness…
…And I didn't really feel like it was necessary to have Aqua here, but she insisted on coming along.
"So, that's the situation. What are your thoughts?"
I said this sternly as I looked over Chris and Darkness.
"I don't get it? Megumin likes Kazuma? We're all friends here, aren't we? I like Kazuma, too!"
Aqua said this as she completely missed the point.
"Hm…well, I suppose that it's not exactly at all strange for feelings to develop in such a close-knit group with boys and girls in it. I just find it surprising because Megumin has been avoiding Kazuma recently."
Chris said this as she had a look of consideration.
"M-M-Megumin is...with Kazuma?!"
Darkness said this in disbelief and panic.
Oh?
What a suspicious reaction.
"Hm? And does Darkness have a problem with that, I wonder?"
"Eeep!"
Darkness made this frightened noise for some reason when she saw my eyes.
"As Chris said, it's normal for attraction to form in close-knit parties like this. So…it's also natural that Darkness might also develop some feelings for Kazuma, like I did."
"W-W-W-W-W-W-What could Megumin be talking about?!"
Darkness said this as her face was flushed, and her eyes dilated as it rapidly changed the course of its gaze on all dimensions of the room except my eyes.
How suspicious.
"You must realize that I'm not here to tell you to 'back off from my man', or anything like that. We're all friends here. So we need to be honest with each other…therefore…"
I took out a special item.
"!"
It was quite peculiar how Darkness stood and made to dash for the door once she saw the item.
I just happened to stick my foot out and the clumsy Darkness happened to accidentally trip over my foot as she initiated a sprinting motion.
"Oof!"
She fell hard on the floor.
She was about to stand up, however…
"Darkness blacker than black…"
I started chanting the incantation for explosion.
"Hiiiii!"
Darkness stopped mid motion when she heard me utter the first line of the incantation.
"Darkness, tell me, do you love Kazuma, or not?"
"Megumin is too scary?!"
'Scary'?
Really.
I wasn't trying to intimidate anyone.
I just wanted my question answered.
Really.
"I-I don't! I really don't! I don't love Kazuma or anything!"
I looked at the item in my hand, the magical bell that detects lies, the same item that caused Kazuma so much trouble when he was tried as a terrorist of the state.
"…"
The bell didn't ring.
Darkness sighed in relief.
"Then…it might not be emotional but…are you physically attracted to Kazuma?"
"Urk! Um…no…"
"Ding, ding!"
"Megumin?! Megumin is choking…ack!"
'Choking'?
I wasn't doing anything like that at all.
Chris came over and frantically starting talking to me.
"Megumin-san, what are you doing?! Even if it's that Darkness, Megumin-san's stats have increased drastically recently, right? L-Let her go already, she might…ack! Megumin-san is choking….ack!"
Hm?
'Choking'?
Really.
These girls are spreading all sorts of lies.
"So, Darkness…in terms of physical attraction…do you picture yourself kissing Kazuma? Hugging him? Or maybe even a bit of touching?"
"No, not at all."
Darkness surprisingly gave a direct reply.
"…"
The bell didn't ring.
"…Holding hands, going on dates? Maybe even getting more intimate and 'making love'?"
"No, I want none of that."
Another confident reply.
"…"
The bell still didn't ring.
"…Then, what does Darkness want to do with Kazuma?"
"Heh. I want Kazuma to…"
"…"
Let us omit this part.
Things like 'candle wax', 'flails', and 'ball gags' were mentioned.
So, it was like that.
Relieved that Darkness's 'attraction' towards Kazuma was merely rooted in her usual distortions, I turned to the other potential problem.
"And so…Chris, it's your turn."
"S-Senpai! Help meeee!"
Chris turned to Aqua.
"ZzZZzzZZZzzzzZZZ."
"Really! Why is senpai always asleep when I need her?!"
Extra #2: The Inevitable Clash Between this Goddess and Devil!
I had successfully infiltrated Alderp's villa in the capital.
It was likely that Alderp possessed a powerful artifact that could spawn monsters.
A dangerous item like that had no business being in the hands of such a corrupt and power hungry individual.
I used 'Lurk' and inspected the halls of the villa.
I didn't find anything so far, but that Alderp is a sneaky individual, such difficulties were within my calculations.
Eventually, after an hour of scouring around finding nothing, I found a hidden mechanism that led to a basement area.
Well, instead of finding it, it would be more accurate to say that I 'stumbled' upon it.
"Ouch!"
I cried out in pain as I tripped and fell down into a hidden area as the mechanism activated.
T-This is just the work of my high-luck stat.
It doesn't mean that I'm clumsy, not at all.
"Guh! What the hell?!"
Across from me, also in pain, was the noble known as Alderp.
Most likely, he had just been about to leave from this hidden room, and that was when the trap door opened and I fell in, and ended up falling on Alderp.
"Who are…?! Wait, you're that 'Chivalrous Thief' bastard who is attracting the gaze of all the females in the capital, aren't you?! Damn you! I can never forgive someone like you!"
"…"
Out of all the things he chose to criticize, he picked that part out.
This Alderp reminded me of a certain someone I knew.
He regarded me warily and looked around, likely looking for an improvised weapon, not an escape route, as I was almost certainly blocking the only way out.
If there was another separate escape route, this cowardly, self-preservation type would have made a dash for it immediately.
"Damn it! There's no choice! Maxwell! You've been pretty useless so far, but now is the time to prove your worth! Go and kill this bastard thief!"
"Kekeke…Alderp is willing to sell his soul to me…if I answer his wish…?"
"Yeah, whatever! I'll sell you my soul or whatever, just take care of this bastard!"
There was an eerie voice that cackled in the darkness.
I used 'Foresight' and used the night vision to identify the source of the voice.
"!"
T-That is!
Tied up against the wall, a hideous creature…
With all that talk about selling souls…
And it's appearance…
There was no doubt.
It was a devil.
A rush of rage flowed through me.
As a goddess, I couldn't forgive the blasphemous existence of devils!
I drew my magic dagger.
Alderp flinched when he saw me draw a weapon.
"Eek! Maxwell, hurry up! Do your thing, now!"
"Kukukuku! Then Maxwell will happily fulfill Alderp's wish!"
"Ahhhhh! Nooooo! It hurts…this…hurts! Please stop! This hurts! Ah, sorry, did you think that this thief was suffering from the powers of Maxwell? Alas, it was not the thief screaming in agony but it was moi, Vanir!"
Another weird one appeared!
Coming out of nowhere, I didn't even sense him with any of my skills, he walked out from wherever he came from and stood in front of me.
The top half of his face was hidden by a mask, white on one side, and black on the other.
It reminded me of Assistant-kun's, but his mask was all black.
"Another one?! Maxwell, deal with him, now!"
"…Vanir?"
Despite Alderps demands, this 'Maxwel' devil did not respond.
"Yes, it is moi, a fellow Arch-Duke of hell, Vanir. Hm, it seems that thou has been caught in quite the predicament, Maxwell. Ah, but worry not. Moi has come to deal with this unpleasant matter."
This 'Vanir' turned to me.
"Now, Mr. Thief, please scurry along. Moi will deal with the rest."
Wait.
This guy just called himself the 'Arch-Duke of hell'…
"Oh? This thief is looking at moi as if moi is the enemy? Ah, I realize that moi's presence is indeed quite suspicious, however…hm?!"
Just an inch.
What insane reflexes this guy had.
Just an inch and I would have torn that mask of his apart.
"…Aiming for the mask right away. It seems that you know my weakness. Who are you?"
He looked into my eyes, as if he was trying to peer into my soul.
"…Nothing. I can't see anything about your thoughts and future. Then that must mean that you're…"
The smile disappeared from his face.
We stared at each other.
From the corner of my eyes, I saw Alderp attempting to sneak away.
"Bind."
"Ah?!"
I threw a rope at him, which wrapped around his body from his chest to his ankles.
I turned my attention back to this masked devil.
"Hm…moi does not know which goddess you are…but, there is also another goddess who's been giving moi some troubles recently. Ah, moi doesn't normally do this, you see, but moi might just try a bit, just to take out some of moi's accumulated stress on thee..."
"…"
Not responding, I twirled the dagger in a reverse grip, and lowered myself into a dynamic stance.
"Ah, thou art not a fan of pre-combat banter? Then, although this is not moi's usual methods, moi will start…"
"Flash Step."
An invisible force pooled around my feet and I used it as a platform to launch myself.
The space between this devil and I seemed to have been deleted from the dimensions of this room, as I flickered from one position to another in incomprehensible speeds.
I was suddenly behind the masked devil, in position for a back attack.
'Flash Step' was a skill belonging in the 'Assassin' class.
While my primary class is 'Thief', I also took some levels in the attack based branch-off class derived from 'Thief', the 'Assassin' class.
'Flash Step' was the signature skill of the 'Assassin' class, and the most advanced of all the mobility based skills/spells.
Now, with perfect back attack position, I used the primary offensive skill of thieves.
"Sneak Attack!"
Aiming the dagger at this Devil's back!
Only for his body to dissolve into dirt.
"Huh?!"
I fell forward, falling on this pool of filth.
I looked behind me and watched as the mask was falling to the ground, only for a mound of dirt to erupt from it, and the dirt began piling up and started taking a humanoid shape.
In a matter of seconds, the devil had once again taken form.
"Thou is at a high enough level to multi-class, huh? I really mustn't take thou lightly…"
"Damn you!"
'Flash Step' took a lot of mana, unless you were a master at it.
The most powerful assassins could use 'Flash Step' consecutively, becoming a constant blur while launching powerful attacks and distributing constant 'Critical Hits' while moving at a speed too fast for the human eye to track.
But, I was still a novice at this skill I've attained only recently.
And I built up a lot of my mana also in that 'Sneak Attack', more than I usually would use in that attack, thinking that I would end this devil in that one sequence.
What a rookie mistake!
But, I couldn't just stand around, even if I was at a disadvantage now.
The 'Thief' class wasn't built to be on the defensive.
If a thief loses their advantage in initiative and stealth, they must resort to overwhelming their opponent with a tricky and unpredictable flurry of attacks.
And that's what I did.
I started off with a quick step, a burst of speed that dissolved in its linear rush into a series of bewildering and technically intricate footwork as I arrived just outside the devil's reach.
Zig-zagging around this devil, as I danced around, waiting for an opening.
After a feint to the right, I swirled to the opposite flank of the devil and initiated a lunging stab!
"!"
The masked devil attempted to dodge my lunge to his mask, but he couldn't do it completely.
I nicked the side of his mask, sending crumbs of the material falling down onto his shoulder.
I quickly retrieved my knife arm and quickly leapt back, engaging in my dance-like footwork once more.
"Hm…it seems that moi has gotten reliant on moi's scrying powers during combat. A speedy Thief whose mind I can't read…and you've yet to reveal your goddess form and true abilities yet…moi might actually be at a disadvantage here. Moi might need to take thee more seriously!"
He lifted his hand.
Red energy started pooling around his palm!
"Not so fast! 'Bind!'"
I used even more of my mana this time, leaving only enough for one more skill.
"Tch!"
He managed to weave out with impossible fluidity as his body twisted out of the way.
However, his arm that had been generating that power was now tied to his torso.
Using this distraction as my opening, I used the last of my mana…
"Flash Step!"
In a flicker of speed, I penetrated his guard just inches away from him, close enough to feel his breath on my face. And I held my knife in a reverse grip, poised for a backhand slash at his mask!
I made a motion to swipe…!
He moved to dodge the attack, snatching his head backwards at such a speed that would have snapped a human neck in half.
However…
I stopped my hand mid-swipe.
I lowered myself, and extended my leg out for a sweeping kick!
Sweeping his legs from under him, I made this masked devil slip and fall to the ground.
Without giving him a chance to move or make another wisecrack, for that matter, I descended upon him, straddling his legs.
His free, unbounded hand reached out to try and swat my dagger hand away, but I pinned his attempts down with my free arm.
"Hah…Hah…hah…!"
Due to my high-speed movement, I didn't notice that my mask had fallen off until I saw it covering the white side of the devil's mask, and now his mask really did resemble assistant-kun's all black one, with how my black face mask obscured the white side.
The devil was looking up at me through one eye hole as I panted and looked down at him.
Straddling him…
"…"
This position…was…
"Is moi about to be raped now? I must warn you that devils have no gender to speak of…"
"That's not it?! This isn't the kind of situation where two enemies find love after engaging in a fit of passion and hatred, OK?!"
To shut this infuriating devil up permanently, I started to bring the knife down!
"Wait a moment! Moi has finally recognized thou! Isn't thou the one known in the town of axel as 'The First Victim'? Ah, yes, thou are the one who was the first to be sexually harassed by that lad…"
"H-How did you know about that?!"
I exclaimed this as I couldn't help but stop my attack.
"Ah, and to think that thou almost had a chance to take a life from moi! I commend thee! But moi has no intention to lose another life so quickly after the last time…so, moi will have to say farewell for now."
He dissolved into dirt again.
I stabbed down for the mask, but it was already carried away by the dirt.
Before the body could form, I decided to attack the mask.
However…
Without even attempting to take a human form, a tendril of dirt lashed out towards me.
I only saw enough of it to determine the method of attack.
And then…
"Smack!"
I heard a loud noise and then I lost consciousness.
…
…
I woke up in a random inn, in a random room, wearing random clothes that were not a part of my wardrobe at all.
When I asked the inn staff about how I got there, they just blushed and said that an 'incredibly sexy masked man' came in while bringing me in a princess carry, and booked a room 'for two'.
The same room 'for two' I eventually woke up in.
"Fufu. You sure are lucky to have such a dashing man, young lady. Ah, don't worry about making a mess with him. We don't mind cleaning it up~ Fufu!"
Damn him…
Damn that devil!
…After that incident, no matter where I looked, I couldn't find Alderp, or that artifact.
And that Maxwell, too, was nowhere to be found.
Same thing goes, of course, for that Vanir.
Damn.
The capital didn't make much of a fuss about Alderp's disappearance.
They assumed that he ran off to some foreign country, afraid that the king, who was now diligently surveying the nobles for any sign of corruption, would dig up enough evidence to incriminate him for his shady dealings in the past.
The masked devil, Vanir, most likely dealt with Alderp, Maxwell, and the artifact.
That artifact that can summon monsters had fallen in the hands of a devil…
In some ways, I'd rather have someone like Alderp take possession of it.
I couldn't help but think about that masked devil, Vanir.
He mentioned my nickname and reputation in Axel, so I assumed that he must either be stationed there, or that he had eyes and ears everywhere.
He did mention something about 'scrying', after all.
Nonetheless, I didn't make any urgent plans to return to Axel.
If that devil had plans to use the artifact soon, the capital would be an obvious choice for a target.
And so I kept watch over the capital.
Acting all at once as the 'Chivalrous Thief' it loathed…
…and the goddess of fortune it revered.
…
…
Chapter 16.5 END
Next Chapter: An Invitation to Join this League of Justice!