Chapter 73

Scarlett demanded a cup of hot coffee as soon as she came home and sending Wade off to a friend's house she walked into the parlour. Ella came inside and seeing her mother look unnaturally calm, she went back out and skipped into the old nursery. Scarlett closed her eyes and leaned back in the chair. It felt so strange that she had witnessed that scene. Why, something so similar had happened to her, hadn't it?

She had never been so imaginative before but something was making her imagine things now. Her heart seemed weighed down by sadness and she walked up to a mirror nearby. She looked at herself and her eyes looked so sad. Where had she seen so much sadness before?

Her Mother's eyes.

Suddenly she was starting to imagine. Her Mother weeping over her bed over her lost love. It all looked so real. She could see the prim little house in the Savannah. Her Mother was younger. Her hair hadn't been properly done up. It was streaming over her shoulder. The cotton sheets of her bed were soaked with her tears. And there was Mammy. Mammy looked so much younger and not so loud and rude. And she was crying too. Then she saw her Mother get up and wipe away her tears. "They drove him away. I hate them. I hate them all. I never want to see them again-"

But her voice isn't calm or soft.

Instead it was different. It was adamant and vengeful. "It can't be" thought Scarlett, vaguely. "Mother isn't like that- But how else could she have looked- she has told this story before- they were her own words , weren't they?"

"But, honey, you kain do that!"

That is Mammy's voice but it sounded so pleading. Mammy never spoke like that. But she saw Mammy walk quickly to Ellen and lay a hand on her head. But Ellen shakes the hand away. She treads over the miniature of herself, the four letters to Phillippe Robillard and starts washing her tear stained face. "I will may Mr. O'Hara. He's a kind man. I will do it or go into the convent at Charleston."

"What about these poor letters, child? Shouldn't we at least show the letter of Mister Robillard's death to-"

Ellen strode over to Mammy, grabbed the letters from her hand and burned them in the fire. "They will pity me. I don't want their pity. Don't tell anyone, Mammy. Anyway the thing will be over before they come to know what happened. I want to be far far away by then-"

Scarlett saw her Mother all dressed up now with two packed suitcases. She saw her going into her father's library. Ellen sees her father reading a book, his silver grey hair appearing over the back of the purple backed armchair. She presses her lips into one straight line and looks at the open door. Suddenly a coach has arrived. And out of the coach steps her own Pa. Pa is walking half-shyly, hat in his hands up the flight of stairs. Ellen looks coldly at him and then bows her head gracefully. When she looks up, there is a quiet smile. Pa glows with pride and softly asks "Where is he? Is he waiting for me?"

Ellen doesn't answer. Instead she steadily grasps Mr. O'Hara's arm and walks with him into the library until she is facing her father who is still reading his book, legs crossed and a smoking pipe on his lips.

"Father, this is the man I am going to marry. Mr. O' Hara, a plantation owner living in Georgia. We are in love and I want you to bless us with your wishes-"

Pierre Robillard sits up in shock.

"I know I am unworthy to ask of your daughter's hand in marriage-" begins Mr. O'Hara, stumblingly but shyly, like a little schoolboy asking for permission to fetch his lost shoe.

"Unworthy?" echoed Pierre Robillard, glancing in confusion and hurt at his daughter's determined and unkind face. "Could you please leave us, Mr. O'Hara. Give me a moment with my daughter. I must understand her actions until then I am at a loss for words-"

Mr. O'Hara bows awkwardly and with a misplaced yet eager smile, he strides outside and waits by the door.

"Are you out of your mind, Ellen- First that useless blackguard and now this foreigner- Is he even Presbyterian?"

"He is a Catholic-"replies Ellen, after a pause.

"I don't know why you want to pain me like this-"

"I didn't come here to ask your permission, Father. I am in love with Mr. O'Hara and I am leaving for Georgia. That is all. Now if you will bless me, I will be on my way-"

"Ellen, please.. why do you speak so coldly to me? How could you be in love with this man when you were once-"

Ellen's face turned white.

"Ellen dear-" said Pierre, reaching out for his daughter's hand.

Ellen quivered in anger. "No don't! Bless me now and let me go in peace-"

"Ellen, I forbid you to go!"

By now other family members had gathered at the door of the library. Mr. O'Hara had been carefully ushered into a parlour room far away from earshot.

"All right" said Ellen, firmly. "Then you send Mr. O'Hara away and I am joining the convent!"

"Ellen, are you threatening me?"

"You know very well I am. I could have been happy with Phillippe. But you wouldn't let me be happy. And now all I feel is grief and a sadness I cannot quench. It is all because of you. Where else can I go? I need refuge from people like you- If I can't marry Mr. O'Hara, I am going to become a Catholic nun!"

Pierre Robillard sinks back in his chair. "All right go-"

Ellen walks out and her mood changes from coldness to a practiced demure serenity. "Mr. O'Hara- my father has given his consent. May we go? He is tired and resting-"

Mr. O'Hara immediately bounces up from the chair and follows Ellen outside. He tips his hat to the stunned family members, his joy clouding his vision, preventing him from seeing the unhappy people he was leaving behind. He helps Ellen into the coach and they are off to the church.

Scarlett thought to herself. Why, Mother had been just like me- But it all seemed so strange and alive. This imagination was bringing her pain. Her Mother had made a cold calculated decision. She hadn't been ladylike at all!

"I am being led by a child" said Scarlett to herself, wiping the sweat on her forehead and looking in alarm at the salty water in her hands. She rushed to the cupboard and grabbed a Bible that was lying inside. Then she thought the better and putting on a shawl, she asked for the carriage.

"Where to, Ma'am?" asked the coachman.

"The church-" replied Scarlett.