Chapter 19: Gifting this Wannabe Writer with a Published Novel!
Part 1
"Then, I will take Megumin-san's wide-winged cheeper."
"Are you sure? Wouldn't you rather take Aqua's horned goblin, instead?"
"I may have less experience with this game than Megumin-san, but I'm not completely clueless."
We were playing cards in my room and Iris received permission from the king, despite Claire's protests, to play with us.
"To think that this sheltered princess could be so good at games. I give up."
A frustrated Aqua threw her cards on the discarded pile..
"It is quite sad to think that Aqua, who is reliable only when it comes to games and parlor tricks, would be the first one to concede."
"Megumin is the one who always claims to be a genius! And yet you're losing, too, aren't you?! We're all in the same boat here!"
Megumin, unable to deny Aqua's accusations, lowered her head in shame. Meanwhile, Darkness puffed up her chest and said,
"I'm doing pretty well so far, if I do say so myself."
"Actually, Darkness, you were eliminated in the earlier rounds. We only let you keep playing so you wouldn't feel bad."
"What's the point of sparing my feelings if you're only going to hurt them anyways?!"
We decided to stay in the capital for a little while, as the king graciously extended an invitation to us.
Iris also expressed her desire to play with us some more.
We didn't have any current obligations in Axel, anyway.
Darkness had her administrative duties, but her father, Lord Ignis, insisted that Darkness stay in the capital for a few days to recuperate, as she had been working hard recently.
"Magecon will last for several more days. Does anyone want to come with me?"
As Iris collected the cards after earning her tenth straight victory, Megumin made this suggestion.
Magecon… A few days ago, Megumin did mention attending this Magecon.
"As a warrior, an occupation that is the polar opposite to a mage, I will feel like an outsider at such an event."
Darkness said with a slightly regretful smile. Beside her, Aqua smirked and suddenly stood.
"Is Megumin personally requesting a public appearance from the great Aqua-sama in behalf of the mage community? Unfortunately, I won't perform unless I am inspired. I am an artist, after all. I am more than willing to engage with the common rabble in a 'meet and greet', however. If this Magecon is willing to pay for my services, they will have to contact my agent. Here's their business card."
She showed us a professional looking business card.
"Aqua, this is my personal mail address isn't it?"
"Doesn't Kazuma know? Make sure to work hard for me. It is a tremendous honor to represent a goddess. You're like a prophet… No, even better than that, you are the talent agent of a goddess!"
"I can sue Aqua for this. Every court will side with my case. You're making me represent a brand that I have no desire in endorsing!"
"Waah! Kazuma… Kazuma's eyes tell me that he's serious?! Nooo… I am financially dependent on Kazuma, you're my legal guardian, technically! Even if you sue me, you'll just end up suing yourself!"
As Aqua bawled, Iris started dealing out the cards again.
"Is everyone ready for round eleven?"
Iris said with an innocent smile that suited her age.
Part 2
Later that day, after a meal at the king's table, a hearty sausage and eggs breakfast with various cheeses at the side, Megumin and I headed out together.
"It's unfortunate that Iris can't come. Being royalty, especially a princess, sure is tough. Really, what a shame that she can't come with us. I'm really regretful. Well, then, let us go."
As a princess, Iris couldn't attend a public event like a convention, as the security risk was too high. Darkness and Aqua had no interest in attending a mage convention, too.
And so, Megumin and I found ourselves in a date-like situation.
"Kazuma, today there will be an exhibit of a magic item that can supposedly withstand any type of attack magic. I will be proving them wrong by decimating this magic item with explosion magic."
"If you do that, you will destroy the convention center and everyone in it. When explosion magic is involved, I can't tell if Megumin is serious or just playing around, so please spell it out for me if you are indeed joking. Otherwise, I will use the 'Bind' skill on Megumin right now and have the capital's police force deal with you."
I said to Megumin who was telling me dangerous things with a casual sing-song tone.
"There will be no casualties. What I plan to do is have Kazuma steal the item, go outside and float the item up into the sky with the 'Featherfall' spell, and then I will proceed to unleash my explosion magic once it's safe to do so."
"That plan does indeed sound reasonable, but I am already infected by you irrational girls, so my sanity isn't what it used to be. There is no way that the authorities will accept that logic, however."
After I convinced Megumin not to go through with her plan, we headed to the convention area.
Magecon, unlike the conventions I was used to in Japan, which were held in massive building spaces, was operated like a circus.
My family visited a travelling circus once when I was younger and I sensed the same kind of atmosphere.
A no-roof affair with each 'panel' held in multicolored tents whose flaps were billowing softly in the steady wind of the open air.
There were even vendors all around selling peanuts and cotton candy.
The exotic colors of the convention goers' mage robes contributed to my impression of a carnival.
"I thought that mages were studious and usually valued peace and quiet, but this place is a mess."
I said as I observed the mages who were laughing merrily. Some were even drinking publicly, consuming strange bubbling substances from flasks.
"Yes, these people are quite rambunctious aren't they? They should strive to become a level-headed mage, like me."
"...But Megumin is the most dangerous one here."
"How about I show Kazuma just how dangerous I can be?"
"I told you not to joke about that!"
Once we were admitted, we proceeded to explore the attractions.
The first attraction we saw involved these large steel cages.
Within them were animals held in captivity.
A sign read 'Behold! Mysterious beasts never seen before!'.
I overhead the comments of the other spectators.
"Amazing! I have never seen a creature like this before!"
"Those stripes… How magnificent..."
"That other one looks like an onion duck… But without the onion!"
I leaned over to Megumin and asked her,
"Oi, Megumin, what's so fascinating about these animals? Isn't that just a zebra and a duck? And compared to the onion duck that yields a lot of experience points when it is killed, isn't it normal for a duck to not carry around a green onion?"
"A 'zebra'... Is that what that striped creature is called? And I've never seen an onion duck that isn't carrying a green onion."
Although zebras were quite exotic even in my old world, these creatures in display were commonplace compared to the giant toads and dragons that reside in this alternate world.
At a young age, kids would be taught about the names and basic features of these animals.
Animals like monkeys and tigers were common zoo attractions, but these mages who should be used to all manners of strange creatures were unusually impressed.
"Kazuma, it seems that we can have our likeness taken, like an instantaneous painting, by this magical image capturing device, although the fee is quite expensive… But perhaps we…"
The usually frugal Megumin made this request while blushing slightly.
A magic item that functioned exactly like a camera.
Anachronistic devices with convenient modern utilities exist in this world.
An explanation like 'It's magic' is usually provided for me if I do inquire further.
As for the design and inspiration, it probably came from the influence of a Japanese.
So, in terms of the particular mechanics and the 'why's' and 'how's', let's just leave that aside for now.
The fee was indeed quite expensive but it was nothing I couldn't afford. Megumin and I posed in front of the zebra's cage while the photographer took our picture.
Awkwardly standing shoulder to shoulder and trying to casually smile for the camera.
"Alright, looks good. Now, Say... Neroid...!"
"N-Neroid..."
The traditional phrase of 'Say cheese' had a peculiar equivalent in this world.
"It came out quite nicely."
Megumin smiled as she held the just printed picture against the sunlight once we were outside the tent.
"Let's frame it and hang it over the fireplace when we get back."
On the fireplace mantel, Aqua had proudly hung up the shield artifact Chris had us go on that heist to retrieve.
I figured the picture would make a pleasant addition.
"We should take another one…"
Megumin said as she kept looking up at the picture, eyes squinting against the light.
"With everyone else, you mean? That's a good idea. I'll rent one of those devices and we'll take a group picture with Darkness and Aqua. I suppose we should get Yunyun, Wiz and everyone as well."
"No, I mean, the 'zebra' or whatever was taking a poop when the photo was taken..."
"..."
And so, the date like atmosphere that had been cultivating so far was quickly ruined.
Part 3
I noticed this before, but the mages here seemed to be intently looking at us, more specifically, at Megumin.
"I told Kazuma before. I am now an important figure in the mage community."
The other day as well, people in the streets were taking notice of Darkness. And now, Megumin was receiving the adoration of the magi.
Even Aqua received admiration from the guild when she took on the advanced class of Arch-Priest. Although, that occurred before they all saw Aqua for what she really was.
But, when is an event like that going to occur for me?
"Kazuma, for a while now there has been a crowd of people gathering over there. Let's take a look."
I could make out a large group of people congregating around one place.
There was a loose formation of a line that had dispersed into clusters of idling people.
Out of curiosity, well, Megumin's curiosity, mostly, we approached the group of people.
Megumin tugged on the robes of a tall man, who turned around and opened his eyes wide when he saw Megumin.
"It's… It's Megumin-sama! Megumin-sama is talking to me!"
Was Megumin really that big of a deal in the mage community?
"Megumin-sama… Hah… Hah… Megumin-sama…!"
...Oh, I get it. This guy is a lolicon.
"Greetings, fellow mage. May I inquire as to why our esteemed peerage is gathering like so?"
Megumin started speaking in a grandiose way as she struck some chuuni poses.
"Eh? Oh. A certain famous amateur writer is selling some copies of her books here, in Magecon. In fact, she is a Crimson Demon clansman like Megumin-sama. Perhaps you both know each other?"
Megumin and I looked at each other.
"If it's a writer… That would be Arue, right?"
"Ah, maybe she did mention something like that in her letters? I tend to skim over Arue's letters since she tends to ramble about her delusional fantasies."
"I don't want to hear such a criticism from you, of all people."
People made way for Megumin, who was taking the admiration of her peers surprisingly well.
She was more dignified about it than her personality and usual conduct might suggest, at least.
Then again, Megumin wasn't as bad as Aqua, in that regard.
After cutting in line, we eventually saw Arue seated at a table. She had a paperback novel, built more like a booklet with the cheap materials it was made with, displayed on the table.
Beside her were Megumin's other two schoolmates, Dodonko and Funifura.
...Or at least, that's what I think their names are.
"K-Kazuma-san! What are you doing here?!"
"I-It's Kazuma-san! Um… How very unexpected!"
The schoolmates of Megumin who were not used to the company of guys around their age, started panicking when they saw me.
They also started fussing with their hair while faintly blushing.
Oh my, oh my.
Faced with my charming self, these young girls were acting like so?
To her old schoolmates who were acting shy, Megumin stepped up to them said,
"Oi, just because you two have never held eye contact with a guy for more than three seconds, doesn't mean that you can just put on an innocent maiden act. Weren't you two acting like antagonistic bullies when we were still students? Don't act so innocent now."
"Antagonistic bullies?! Even… Even if we liked to tease Yunyun sometimes, doesn't give you the right to say that! Speaking of bullies, it was Megumin who often stonewalled Yunyun, who just wanted to make some friends! At least we humored her while Megumin would always disregard the lonely Yunyun!"
"That's… That's right! Wasn't there even a rumor that Megumin was taking advantage of the innocent Yunyun and forcing her to do all sorts of naughty yuri acts?! 'Oi, Yunyun, if you want me to consider you a friend, then first you have to make friends with the me down there…' Something like that, right?!"
"What kind of nonsense is this?! These are lies, complete lies, especially that last part! That's it, forget the magical item that will supposedly never break, I'll unleash my explosion on you two!"
"Eeeeek!" x 2.
Those two stood from their seats and hid behind Arue.
Throughout all this, Arue was calmly depositing some Eris pieces in a register machine.
"Megumin, Kazuma-san, it's good to see you again. What are you two doing here? Out on a date?"
"It can't be… Megumin is always showing off in her letters but is it actually true?!"
"So Megumin likes both boys and girls?!"
Megumin gave some more explosion based threats towards those two before she turned to Arue and said,
"I didn't expect to see you three out of the village. I've always thought that you guys would live in that village until you were old spinsters, or you would be forced to marry the village's rare bachelor, Buzucoily, and form a harem around him."
"That's too cruel! She was this way before, but ever since Megumin left the village, she has become even crueler!"
Arue didn't seem to mind Megumin's insults, or more like, she just ignored them.
She held up the booklet she was selling and handed it to Megumin, and another copy to me.
"I've always distributed my novellas, just to get my name out there. I've actually gotten some popularity recently, and I am making my first public appearance here in Magecon. Oh, and these two valley girls were desperate to see the famous capital city and begged their parents to let them tag along."
"Even Arue is…!"
"Cruel…! So cruel…!"
In terms of brutality, it seemed that Megumin and Arue were like minded in that regard.
Part 4
"And this is the palace where Kazuma and I are staying. I suppose if you beg hard enough, I will consider allowing you to stay here for the night."
Dodonko and Funifura were too impressed by the sight of the famous palace to become offended by Megumin's condescending words.
We had given them a tour around the capital of famous places, like the clocktower that always rang at the end of noon, and some of the more impressive villas of the nobility.
Our tour appropriately ended here, at the palace of the royal family.
Arue took out a notepad.
"I've seen pictures before, but seeing the real thing up close is quite inspiring. I can write some interesting descriptions with this."
"O-Oh. Good for you…"
Megumin seemed a bit disappointed that no one was agitated by her words.
"Well… It's been fun catching up with you all, but Kazuma and I must return soon. I trust that you guys have a place to stay?"
"Hm? I thought that Megumin was offering us a room for the night at the palace?"
"So you were listening. Jokes aside, if you guys haven't booked a hotel room already, or if your current accommodations aren't to your liking, we can ask the palace staff to lend you guys a spare guest room..."
While saying this, Megumin was awkwardly avoiding the gaze of her old schoolmates.
"Pffft!"
"!"
I couldn't help but giggle.
Really, what a tsundere this girl is.
It's kind of cute.
Arue smiled at Megumin's words and seemed amused by them as well.
"We do have our own accommodations but this is a rare chance to stay at the most famous landmark in the nation. Thank you for your offer, Megumin."
It didn't take too much to convince the staff.
Claire was persuaded by Rain who was familiar with Arue and everyone already, and could vouch for them.
I think it also helped that Iris, who Claire was weak to, was happy at the prospect meeting new people.
"It is very nice to meet Megumin-san's former classmates. I am Princess Iris, how do you do."
Iris curtsied as she offered a graceful and polite greeting.
"Wait a minute… Isn't this girly-girl princess-sama too cute?! I've never seen such cuteness in my life!"
"Megumin also fits that 'small and innocent' look but she's very uncute in terms of personality, isn't she? This princess-sama is obviously superior!"
Iris seemed to be embarrassed by the gushing of Dodonko and Funifura, but she didn't make any effort to refute their words.
"Oi, this 'very uncute' girl is right here."
I swiftly changed the subject before Megumin got riled up.
"Now, now. It's almost dinner time. Darkness and the other one should be at the dinner hall at this time, right?"
It was Rain who responded to my inquiry.
"Um… By 'the other one', could Kazuma-sama be referring to Aqua-sama? They are already at the dinner hall with the king and prince. They were waiting for you two, but Aqua-sama kept on complaining about her empty stomach and the king finally gave in…"
That goddess…!
As I was imagining myself pulling on the hair of that tactless goddess, Iris said,
"Um… Megumin-san's companions… If you don't mind, would you like to join us for dinner?"
It was Dodonko who answered Iris's somewhat awkward invitation.
"Um… We will be dining with the king? I'm sorry but this is too much for a valley girl like me. Yes, Arue said as much earlier, I am a valley girl. Yes, that's right isn't it? I'm just a clueless valley girl. This valley girl is content to dine in the servants' quarters."
Even though she was denying Arue's evaluation earlier, this girl started calling herself a 'valley girl' over and over.
Iris insisted and eventually, they were all forced to accept the invitation.
There weren't many who could say 'no' to Iris, even discounting her stature.
Rain performed a quick and unobtrusive spell to check the newcomers for any hidden weapons, as a protocol.
Then, we entered the dining hall.
A lavish room with a crystal chandelier hanging from the dome like ceiling.
Stretched before us was a long table filled with various foods and liquors.
Seated at the head of the table was the king while Aqua and Darkness sat to his right side.
The Prince once again sat all in his lonesome.
The king saw us and stood. Once Rain introduced the guests to him, he extended his arms out in welcome.
"Ah, so these are the members of the Crimson Demon clan. Because of your clan's, um… Rather interesting petition for sovereignty and seclusion before recent events, it has been a while since I've seen this many of you in one place! Come, sit, sit!"
Arue, always the composed one, gave a curtsy to the king. She simply said,
"Thank you for having us."
"Ah, I've heard a lot about the natural beauty of the ...um… mature women of the Crimson Demon clan. I am glad to have finally confirmed the validity of those rumors with my own eyes…"
This lolicon prince seemed to be desperately putting on a front in order to dispel his reputation as a lolicon, sis-con pervert.
Nonetheless, the girls seemed to fall for it. Even the usually indifferent Arue blushed a little.
...This is why I hate pretty boys.
"Kazuma, why is this prince talking like he's never met a 'mature woman' from the Crimson Demon clan when he already knows me?"
"..."
I chose to sidestep this loaded question from Megumin.
Part 5
"Ah… As always, the food in this place is great!"
Aqua patted her tummy and leaned back against her chair.
"I'm glad it was to your liking."
The king said to Aqua, who was poking at her teeth with a toothpick.
"How long does Arue-san and the others plan on staying in the capital?"
Darkness asked as she wiped at her mouth with a napkin.
She had been pretty quiet so far, then again, such a meek and gentle attitude was only reserved in settings like this.
Arue, I noticed, hadn't eaten a lot, but she ate a little bit of everything and wrote down her observations about the food in her notebook.
"Until the end of Magecon, which will last for three more days. Of course, if it is inconvenient, we don't plan on intruding any more than we already have."
"Not at all. Please, stay here for as long as you need to. In fact, a rekindled friendship with the Crimson Demon clan and this nation is long overdue…"
Saying this, the king had a speculative look on his face.
"Yes, please, consider this your home. And if you need anything, make sure to come to me. After the war, I haven't had the opportunity to do much lately. Ah, not to say that I spend my days idling away, no, not at all."
This prince was still putting on that phony act.
And he was taking on the characteristics of a NEET lately…
Because Darkness refused the king's proposition, this guy is expected to take up the throne someday.
Will… Will this nation be OK?
…
...
I was exhausted after having been walking around the entire day, so I retired to my room.
The others didn't seem even the slightest bit tired.
Even right now, there was an atmosphere around them as if this were the first night of a school trip.
The girls, excluding Iris, as she had a curfew, were now having a slumber party.
I could hear their shrill, girly giggling even through the walls.
Iris was very disappointed that she couldn't play with everyone, but they assured her that there was plenty of time in the following days to play.
I was happy that they were all getting on with one another, and that Iris had more onee-sans to play with.
The isolated life of a princess was hard enough without having a bunch of weirdos like the prince and Claire acting as the role models you were supposed to look up to.
And while those Crimson Demon girls were still not all that right in the head, they were reliable in their own ways, especially Arue.
Speaking of whom, I still had a copy of her novella.
I was exhausted, but exhaustion and sleep doesn't always go hand in hand, and there are even times when you are so tired that you couldn't sleep.
And so, as a way to kill time until sleep came to me, I started reading Arue's novella...
The Chronicles of the Crimson Lovers Vol. I
By: Arue
So it was a romance story, huh?
I heard from Megumin that Arue mainly wrote action based battle stories full of her chuuni fantasies. But I guess Arue was more of a versatile writer than that.
Indeed, a writer who doesn't expand their horizons should be regarded as unskilled.
For example, someone who mainly writes adventure/humor type stories while not implementing any romance in it, for example, would be hated by their readers, for example.
I started reading…
The Chronicles of the Crimson Lovers
By: Arue
Book 1: The Crimson Destiny that Ties Them Together
The diviner in the village foresaw that the young Megurin, a talented child from a clan of powerful magicians, was destined for many great things…
...But, the diviner told this child that before she can fulfill her true destiny, she must meet a certain man and become his lover…
The child who cared only about magic and didn't have an ounce of girl power and general femininity, was not interested in this prophecy.
"As long as I can cast my explosion magic once a day and I get to eat at least one meal a day, I don't care if I do or don't meet this man…"
This tsundere would say such things even though she can sometimes be seen looking longingly at the flowers growing around the village during springtime, like some kind of maiden.
...At last, it was time for young Megurin to leave the village.
Reminded of the diviner's prophecy, the child carried a faint hope in her tsundere heart that she would find her destined lover…
And so, eventually, she came across a young man…
"Ah, is that a loli! Kekekeke! I love lolis! Come over here, you loli! Let me sniff you!"
...Yes the destined lover of young Megurin turned out to be the most despicable pervert in the land. It is said that he can't be seen in public without a pair of stolen panties in his grasp...
All the women he's ever met abhors him. Truly, he is a despicable man who will cover young ladies in slimy substances and force them to take baths with him.
However, just like a wife who has become deluded about the wicked nature of her husband after many years of abuse, Megurin overlooked this man's many faults and quickly became smitten by him…
"...Even though he always looks at other women including my rival and a slutty noblewoman with a lewd body, I can't help but become attracted to him…"
And so… As the diviner foretold… Megurin, along with this man, has accomplished great merits indeed…!
But… At what cost…?
Ah, pitiful Megurin… Your maiden heart has been enslaved by the guiles of this lascivious man!
Megurin, you are a slave of not only your Crimson Destiny, but also, this tragic love!
...And so they hooked up and gave birth to a bunch of beautiful children.
It was a happy ending after all!
The End
"..."
I stared at the pages for a while.
There were many things to say about this story, including that half-assed ending, but aside from that, there was one big problem...
...No matter how you read this, it's very obvious who this story is inspired from.
...That Arue…!
I thought that she was just a mild-mannered girl but she turned out to be quite problematic!
I should have known better. That cool side of her was just a ruse.
She was a Crimson Demon, alright! A part of that clan full of idiots suffering from Eight grade syndrome!
Getting up, I made my way over to the door, exiting my room. I kept walking until I was right outside the room the girls were staying in.
The sound of their giggling could be heard from outside.
Ah, good for them.
Getting along like this. How pleasant.
"Open lock."
The door opened with my thief skill 'Open lock'.
"Hm? Kazuma? Why are you here? Um… Y-You didn't happen to hear what we were talking about just now, did you?"
For some reason, Megumin looked a bit panicked when she saw me.
The girls were arranged in a circle and seemed to have been gossiping about who knows what before I came in.
"Ah, Kazuma-san. What is it? Did you have business with me?"
Arue was looking as stoic as ever, but she was already reaching for her wand, which she had placed beside her.
It was almost as if she had been expecting my visit...
"Steal!"
But, before she made her move, her wand appeared in my hand after a quick activation of 'Steal'.
Darkness suddenly stood and confronted me.
"Kazuma?! What's the big deal?!"
To the incensed Darkness who got up in my face, I said,
"I don't know. Why don't you ask the writer-san who described you as 'a slutty noblewoman with a lewd body'?"
"What… What are you going on about now?!"
After being referred to with such words without any context to explain it, Darkness gave me a look of rising vexation.
"Wait… Wait! It isn't me! Have you read Arue's novella yet?! It's from her! She's the one who called Darkness a no good noblewoman whose only redeemable trait is the way her gigantic breasts stay firm even when they should be all saggy and wrinkly considering Darkness's increasing age!"
Darkness was so shocked by my words that she just looked at me with her mouth gaping.
"...I don't think I've ever used those words anywhere."
Arue said as she gave up on looking for a way out.
Even when cornered like this, her expression remained jaded.
On the contrary, Dodonko and Funifura began to huddle together as they slowly retreated away from the circle.
Specifically, they were moving away from Megumin.
...So they knew.
Megumin stood and went over to a closet, opened it, and pulled out her travel bag.
She rummaged inside the pockets of the bag and pulled out her copy of the novella.
With great interest, she started reading.
As she was a quick reader, it didn't take long for her face to stiffen and for her eyes to start glowing dangerously red.
All of us started backing away from Megumin.
"Hm? What's Megumin reading? Let me take a look!"
The childish Aqua who would throw a fit if she felt like she was being excluded from something, snatched the novella from Megumin's hands.
She read from the place Megumin was reading,
"..."Ah, is that a loli! Kekekeke! I love lolis! Come over here, you loli! Let me sniff you!""
The room became deathly silent after Aqua's narration.
Placing the novella down at chest level, Aqua looked over to me.
"Is this story about Kazuma?"
"Oi, care to tell me how you immediately arrived at that conclusion?"
"Why… Why is Kazuma glaring and walking over to me?! You should be mad at the one who wrote this! Don't shoot the messenger, or so they say!"
Even though Aqua wasn't at fault this time around, habits die hard.
"Darkness darker than black…"
"!"
As I was distracted by Aqua, I forgot about Megumin!
"Hey… Megumin, calm down! Not all of us here is at fault! It's only Arue you want, right?! I mean, I knew about all this and I found the story quite amusing, but I shouldn't die just for that!"
"That's right! Even though I laughed for ten minutes straight once I pieced two and two together, doesn't mean that you should take your anger out on me! Blame Arue! Just Arue!"
Dodonko and Funifura should have known Megumin enough to know that such words would just provocate her. And yet they couldn't help but say those unnecessary things.
In light of all this, Arue remained cool...
She merely stood from her spot and looked straight at Megumin in the eyes.
"Megumin, it seems that I have some explaining to do…"
Her method worked, as Megumin stopped chanting once Arue addressed her directly.
"You see… Megumin… When I write, I draw inspiration from my own life. And when the topic or theme requires experiences that exceed my own… Sometimes I turn to other sources. It is difficult to write about things you don't know anything about, after all. And so, when you sent those letters to me about your life as an adventurer, the writer in me couldn't help but take inspiration from such a wonderful and exciting story..."
Arue paused and took the chance to narrow her eyes into a gaze of faraway contemplation.
It was all very dramatic.
And obviously phony.
"...I see… A wonderful and exciting story… Indeed my life could be described as such…"
"Yes… That's right. Megumin who is the only one in our age group living a life filled with adventure and romance, one that is like a novella itself, you could say that Megumin is the perfect muse, no?"
Weaving such flattery with her silver tongue, Arue had Megumin completely wrapped around her finger.
"...Hm? Megumin and romance? Oh is this related to what we were talking about earlier? So… So to Kazuma… Megumin is really…?! Kazuma… Megumin… Kazuma x Megumin… Kazumin?! I must… I must tell the others!"
Aqua stood with wide eyes and frantically looked about in search for the drinking buddies she'd gossip with, even though they were miles away, in Axel.
Even as she made a lot of noise, Aqua was ignored.
"I'm glad Megumin approves. After all, this story is due for publication."
"!"
Saying this out of nowhere, Arue only casually smiled.
"What did you say?! What is with this nonsense! Wasn't Arue only just selling this flimsy booklet at Magecon earlier?! Publication?! How could that be!"
"I have a problem with this too since this story is also supposedly about me."
Actually, I was more troubled with how Arue and now even Aqua and Darkness had caught on to this… 'Thing' that was going on with me and Megumin.
Well…
...I should have been more disturbed by all this, now that I think about it.
Tastelessly denying everything. Freaking out like the cliched male protagonists.
But, really, it didn't seem as bad as I imagined… Everyone just putting two and two all of a sudden.
What did I suspect would happen, anyways?
Darkness already had her suspicions. She was honest with me about them a few days ago, when we had that talk before her marriage meeting.
The only one who was completely clueless before now was Aqua.
And that much was expected, anyways.
So… When it actually happened…
'What was I worried about, then?'
It was that kind of feeling.
...But, this publication thing is another matter!
That bastardized version of events had no business being out there for anyone to read!
"The deal is already finalized. Anyways, Megumin shouldn't worry. I took great care not to use her name."
"Please tell me how changing one letter makes any difference. Anyone with half a brain cell can tell the difference between 'Megurin' and 'Megumin'!"
"...You know, I can't decide which is the weirder name of the two."
I said even as Megumin gave me a glare.
Part 6
Later that night...
"You're still awake?"
Approaching from behind was Darkness.
"Yeah. I see that Darkness is wearing her slutty negligee even in a place like this, huh?"
"It's not negligee! This is just a normal night gown isn't it?!"
Or so she said, but even the most tame outfits looked like the clothing of a succubus when worn by Darkness.
As I couldn't sleep after all that excitement, I went to a veranda overlooking the sight of the city at night.
I'd been idling in this spot for half an hour now.
Apparently, Darkness was the same and had been wandering around the castle before she spotted me.
"Well, an Eris for your thoughts?"
She gave me a knowing smile as she joined me.
"...I'll let you guess."
"Still thinking about earlier, right?"
I nodded without looking away from the sights.
"Megumin was surprisingly calm about it in the end, even though she had been so riled up."
"She is the most levelheaded one in our group."
"Yes, but that's not the case when she does get riled up."
"That's true."
Darkness propped her elbows onto the ledge of the veranda and glanced at me sideways.
"What?"
I couldn't help but feel uneasy as she stared at me like that.
"You and Megumin… Isn't it kind of official now?"
"Is… Is it?"
"Well… The method was quite unorthodox, but it's out in the open now."
Darkness said, echoing the thoughts I had earlier.
"Really… That Arue… You guys just do whatever the hell you want, huh?"
"Well, Kazuma should be grateful. If all that didn't happen, maybe things wouldn't progress as fast as they are now."
"...How things are progressing is none of your business. Really, there's a process to all this, you know?"
"Ah, Kazuma is a boy, after all."
Darkness said with a sigh and her breath came out as a faint fog in the evening chill.
"What does that mean?"
"It means that you worry about things like love way too much."
"Don't you have it switched up? It's girls who would normally care a lot about things like that."
"Well, let's put it this way… Megumin is sleeping peacefully right now while Kazuma is out here brooding under the starlight."
"..."
When did Darkness become so insightful?
Even Aqua… These girls only seem to catch on at times when it would inconvenience me.
Aren't they just doing whatever the hell they wanted?
Normally, in anime and manga, the side characters would only be privy to these things after the confession.
But the order is all messed up.
"I'm curious… Someone like Kazuma… For him to do things like fall in love, especially with another human being, is quite frankly nothing short of a miracle. How did it come about?"
"Darkness is talking about me as if I were the deviant. Things like that should come naturally to one who is as sane and rational as me."
"...Is Kazuma implying that I'm somehow insane and irrational?"
…So this insane and irrational girl is not aware?
"Still… What is it that Kazuma likes about Megumin?"
"She's a bishoujo."
"W-Well… I guess physical attraction is a big factor…"
Darkness seemed conflicted. She seemed like she wanted to tell me off, but looked uncertain as she wasn't fully acclimated to the norms of commoners.
"...I guess… I can't really pin any one thing down because… There's a lot of things? I mean, what separates romantic affection from, say, the purely platonic kind? Things like a desire for physical intimacy… Though if that were merely the case, then wouldn't Darkness suffice?"
"Idiot. Why are you making it seem like physical relations with me is so easily attainable? Saying things like 'Darkness will suffice'..."
"Oh? I always thought that Darkness would one day unleash all of her pent up desires and assault me..."
"Where are you getting all these ideas from?! I'd never even dare sleep in the same room with a beast like Kazuma, even if we were somehow detained together!"
Darkness sighed and said something like, 'You keep avoiding the question.'
She finally averted her intense gaze and looked up at the starry sky.
"Something like… Enjoying her company in a different way than I would with someone else. And how being around her feels natural… Kind of like that?"
Admitting all this out loud, the things that were so difficult to think about came out so naturally.
"...Uwaa~ Saying such sappy things so confidently, since when did Kazuma become a character like that? Somehow I really want to punch Kazuma in the face right now."
I smiled. Then I suddenly stuck out my tongue and winked at Darkness.
"U mad? Is Salty-ness mad? How's it like to be forever alone?"
"...Grit your teeth."
"Gah!"
Part 7
It turns out that Arue wasn't kidding about the publication.
She had a meeting with the publisher and announced that the publication and printing was scheduled within the year.
'The Chronicles of the Crimson Lovers' will be available in all major bookstores in the country.
If this was Japan, I wonder if a big name company like K*dok*wa would have picked it up.
At the same time, a compromise was reached between Megumin and Arue.
The very obvious name of 'Megurin' was replaced with something else.
Some details were also omitted.
I haven't seen the final draft, but Megumin approved of it, so I didn't worry about the matter any further.
After a few days, it was time for Arue, Dodonko and Funifura to return to the Crimson Demon village.
"...It was eventful and troublesome at times, but it was somewhat fun."
Megumin said these vague words as we said our farewells to her school friends.
"If Megumin feels like it, please feel free to send me more letters about your life. I could use some more inspiration for the second installment of 'Chronicles of the Crimson Lovers'"
"...From now on, I will be cutting off all correspondence with you lot."
Next, it was Dodonko and Funifura's turn.
For some reason they looked at me before regarding Megumin.
"We… We won't lose!" x 2
"Yeah, whatever, just leave already."
"...We should have expected as much from Megumin."
With the farewells out of the way, they started chanting teleportation magic.
"Ah, wait a moment!"
Sprinting towards us was Prince Jatis.
Panting slightly as he caught up to us, he handed Arue a letter.
Arue looked at the letter and then to the prince.
"...Um, I'm sorry, but I can't accept this love letter, even if you are royalty. I hardly know you."
"...That's not it. Although your age is around my strike zone, your old hag body type sure isn't. It's a letter from my father, addressed to your village chief."
While we were all curious about the contents of this letter, Arue merely pocketed it in her robes and said 'thank you'.
She didn't even bat an eyelash at the prince casually calling her an 'old hag'.
And so, without any further interruptions, they vanished into the light of teleportation magic.
As the last of the light diminished, Aqua stretched her arms and said,
"Ah, although it's nice to have visitors once in a while, it's always good just to have your own home to yourself."
"Isn't it about time for lunch already? I am quite famished. Let's eat and then laze about for the entire day."
"...Um, we've tried to avoid having to come to this, but…"
As we leisurely headed back to the palace that we've come to regard as our second home recently, the prince began to speak up,
"...Can you guys leave already?"
We were finally being kicked out.
…
…
As I was packing my bags, I heard a knock on my room.
"It's open."
"...It's me, onii-sama…"
Peeking through the door was my beloved imouto, Iris.
"Oh? Come to say goodbye? Very well. Since I haven't been able to spend much time with Iris even though we were finally reunited, let's cuddle up in bed while I tell you stories, like we used to do…"
"When did that happen?! Well, some of it is true, but onii-sama worded that really strangely! Onii-sama is sus AF!"
Transitioning quickly from the meek way she was peeking at me, Iris suddenly raised her voice.
Despite being teased, Iris slowly closed the door shut and entered the room.
"Oi. Do you think this is a good idea? Claire will have my head if she sees you night-raiding me like this."
"I'm doing no such thing! And it's still noon, anyways! This is my reward for finishing my lessons early!"
Iris gave me a face of a child wanting to be praised.
"Good job. Iris is a good girl."
"...As if I'd be happy with such weak flattery and condescension."
"O-Oh."
Not even acting all tsundere about it, Iris actually looked kind of offended.
After I cleared the miscellaneous items strewn about on my bed, which I was trying to stuff in my luggage, she took a seat on the foot of the bed.
I sat beside her.
"Um… A lot of things happened since I last meet onii-sama…"
She smiled slightly, though her brows were furrowed in uncertainty.
"Well, yes…"
At least, that was the case on my side.
Dealing with Maouko and her forces, retrieving artifacts with Chris and Aqua, fighting Mystic Spiders, dealing with shrewd merchants… Somehow, even after the defeat of the Devil King, life got even more hectic.
I couldn't imagine that Iris got up to too many things within the confines of these castle walls. My life, on the contrary, was a non-stop series of eventful happenings.
Which life was preferable, I wonder?
The safe, sheltered life of a princess...
Or the dangerous, chaotic, largely unpredictable days of an adventurer?
"I have a feeling that onii-sama is thinking about something else… What I mean is… Things have been different with onii-sama… And a certain party member..."
"O-Oh…"
So even Iris knew now.
I suppose we were being fairly loud that one night, and Iris's room was pretty much in the same floor.
Or, maybe, it really was that obvious.
Or maybe someone told her. In way of gossip, by Aqua, or maybe Megumin was flaunting to Iris about her 'love life' like she did with Arue.
"Well, how do I explain this? Even I don't really understand it all completely…"
My default response was to say a cliched line that every oblivious harem male lead has resorted to.
Even if I've somewhat come to an understanding about my own feelings.
Something like casually admitting it was still beyond me.
Really, I thought I'd be better at this.
"So… I guess onii-sama isn't denying it."
With a smile that was obviously conflicted, Iris stood and started heading towards the door.
Don't… Don't tell me…
Looking so sad...
"...Somehow… I've accumulated a harem…?"
"Who?! Who has a harem and who exactly is a part of it?! Even if onii-sama is onii-sama, don't think you can be pardoned so easily after saying such scandalous things about royalty!"
The gentle Iris who spoke at a voice that was just above a whisper suddenly broke into a rage.
With her sudden outburst, Claire, who must have been carefully listening some ways away, smashed the door open and entered with her sword drawn.
"Just give me the word Princess Iris and I'll kill that scum!"
Practically foaming at the mouth, that mad dog was about ready to maul me!
Behind her, still fulfilling her duty, but by much more sensible means, was Rain.
"Um… I'm sure this is just a big misunderstanding, so please don't be so quick to throw around death threats, Claire-san…"
Realizing the commotion she'd made, Iris blushed and lowered her head.
"For… For my unreasonable conduct, I do apologize, onii… I mean, Satou-sama. If… If you will excuse me…"
Still flushed and embarrassed, Iris started heading out.
Rain glanced at me and smiled apologetically, while Claire lingered for a few seconds to give me a death stare.
Eventually, they followed Iris out.
"..."
Not knowing exactly what to think or do about that situation, I moved to close the door.
Only to find that Claire had unhinged the damn thing.
"Gah!"
I moved out of the way just in time before the door frame fell on me.
"...Um… Is this a bad time?"
Standing outside, wearing her travel gear, was Megumin.
"I was about to visit you but then I heard yelling and Iris came out of your room, followed by her guards. She looked really embarrassed for some reason. Did you sexually harass her, or something? Ah, not that I care, but if she tells her daddy, you'll be in a lot of trouble."
It felt bad to talk about Iris behind her back like this.
So I quickly changed the subject.
"...So… We'll be heading back."
"...It seems so… Is Kazuma all packed up and ready?"
"I was interrupted by Iris's visit… But yeah… Just about."
"Ah. That's good."
"Yeah…"
"..." x 2
We're both completely clueless at this.
In the meantime, I invited Megumin to take a seat somewhere.
She avoided the bed and sat on top of a study desk.
Slightly swinging her legs, her hands holding the edge of the desk...
"...Let's talk."
Chapter 19 END
Next Chapter: Gifting This Lonely Girl With a Fake Boyfriend!
…
…
R.I.P. Billy 'Aniki' Herrington (July 14, 1969 – March 2, 2018)
You will always be the boss of my gym.