Chapter 21: Gifting this Home of Chuuni Mages with a Royal Visit!
Editing and supervision: LordVTP
Part 1
"Is that… Is that really Dust-san?!"
Yunyun exclaimed to Dust who showed off impossible feats.
"Now, now. Please don't fall in love with the charming me. But I suppose it can't be helped. A young maiden witnesses the true powers of a hero in disguise… Something like that, huh?"
"Who… Who are you?! And what have you done with the real Dust-san?!"
"Yunyun?! Wait, why are you charging up your magic?! It's really me! It's me, your pal, Dust!"
After seeing Yunyun chanting and gathering magic in her hand, Dust quickly dropped the cool act.
"Kreee! Kreee!"
The wyvern perched on Dust's shoulder started going into a frenzy after sensing that it's master was in danger.
"Really... Dust, you have a lot of explaining to do. Those moves with the spear and the ability to tame a dragon… From what I know only the 'Dragon Knight' or the 'Dragon Lord' class possess those distinct abilities..."
I received all this information from the books in the king's personal library, which he gives me access to even now.
Furthermore, the 'Dragon Knight' and 'Dragon Lord' class is not mainly featured in the country of Belzerg. Heroes with those classes can be found in a far away foreign country.
"If Kazuma wants to know the answers to those questions, he will have to pay up. You are rich now, right? Then buy me a mansion filled with busty beauties! Every hallway must contain a line of magnificent statues which resemble the great me. Furthermore, the beauties who serve me will have to kiss the statues in reverence everytime they pass the hall…"
This delinquent has a twisted imagination.
"Ah, that arrogant attitude… This really is Dust-san. I'm sorry for doubting you."
Yunyun said while bowing in apology to this man who is undoubtedly Dust.
"Why is Yunyun insulting me so much even when I am doing her a favor?"
"Favor…? Does Dust-san really intend to act as my lover?!"
Faced with Yunyun's disbelief, Dust only shrugged. The wyvern on his shoulder stopped making a fuss and was lovingly nuzzling against his neck.
"Wasn't Yunyun bragging to her father that her boyfriend is like the shining knight in fairy tales who ride dragons into battle?"
I doubt that Dust or anyone can ride that youngling perched on his shoulder. And he is throwing around the term 'dragon' very loosely.
This wyvern is so small that only the ground pixies living in our front yard is able to ride it.
"But… With the usual mannerisms of the Crimson Demons it is not unusual for us to exaggerate some details. I'm sure my father doesn't really expect my boyfriend to be like the shining knight in fairy tales!"
"W… What?! So Yunyun is saying I went through all this effort for nothing?! And I even revealed my closely guarded secret to you two!"
Now that he is sober, Dust wants us to think as if he intended to reveal his secrets on purpose, and not on a drunken impulse.
"No one is going to expose your secret Dust-san! But, having you act as my boyfriend is still a bit…"
Yunyun glanced away from Dust who still reeks of booze. His shirt was also stained with spilled beer.
To Yunyun who is still hesitating, I said,
"It's not like we have a lot of time to find another candidate. And it's also true that Dust did go out of his way for you."
Yunyun seemed to be deliberating with herself. Meanwhile, Dust was watching her with a lazy look in his eyes. He impatiently tapped the bladed end of the spear to the ground.
"Oi, hurry up and decide. The guild is usually the busiest at this time. I need to be there before the bar gets full."
Yunyun scrunched up her face in frustration. Finally, she said,
"Ahh! Fine! I really feel like I should just listen to Megumin and admit to my father that I was just lying… But fine! Dust-san, please go out with me!"
She repeated the words she said to me the other day.
To say 'please go out with me' to someone who is only pretending to be her lover... This girl is too earnest.
"Fine, fine. We'll settle my fees later I suppose. By the way, when do we have to leave for the home of the crimson demons?"
"According to the letter, as soon as possible…"
Which reminds me, I have to tell Megumin that she is also expected to come home. For the village chief to hide such important details under an illusion spell… These crimson demons are too annoying!
"I've almost forgotten. This little one needs a name."
Dust said as we began heading out of the woods. He looked at the wyvern with some consideration.
"Hmm… I found this little one sulking in the woods all by herself. Ah, let's name it Yunyun."
"You musn't! Dust-san, you mustn't!"
Yunyun immediately turned around and grabbed the collar of Dust, wailing at this mischievous tease.
"Ah… Fine! Then I will make it less obvious. How about Nuynuy?"
"That's even worse! Please just stop making fun of meee…!"
If Megumin is expected to come back home, I will also be dragged along.
Coming back to that irritating village full of chuunibyou is bad enough. But now I have to put up with the company of Dust and deal with his antics.
Why can't I ever catch a break?
Part 2
"Doesn't it seem like we are always on the move? We just came back from a trip to the capital didn't we? And here we are again going on yet another trip to the home of the crimson demons! Are we wandering hobos or something?!"
Aqua exclaimed as we teleported from Axel to the outskirts of the home of the crimson demons.
From as far as the eyes can see there is no sign of fauna, foliage, water source or any observable living organisms to be found.
After all, this is the same area that was nuked by Megumin's explosion magic during the battle against the daughter of the devil king, Maouko.
The scale of the damage Megumin inflicted on this land is only now apparent to us.
As we walked through this eerie area devoid of life, Aqua didn't sense our uneasiness and started complaining.
In reply to her oblivious commentary, Megumin said.
"No one invited Aqua, so please don't complain. In fact, I don't know why Kazuma and everyone else is coming along. I'm the only one who was summoned."
As she said this, Megumin looked around at the area that had once been inhabited by a sophisticated ecology of high-levelled monsters. There was awe in her eyes as she saw the destruction she caused, but I sensed that she was equally disturbed.
Sometimes I wonder if she's ever come to terms with how much power she can unleash with only a simple command.
"I, of course, came along in order to oversee the actions of Megumin's clansmen. I don't mean to offend, but the crimson demons are known to be quite excessive. Is this not true? And so as a noble who is extensively trained in the diplomatic arts, I have come to lend my aid…"
To Darkness who was haughtily explaining her reasons for coming along, Megumin replied,
"Lalatina acts like an expert diplomat of some sort, but let us not forget the 'wetting' controversy in the capital that made her lose face with so many of the citizens..."
"When are you guys going to let that little incident go?! And why call me 'Lalatina' in these moments specifically?!"
Darkness blushed as she recalled that unfortunate incident we were both involved in.
"I wanna go home! But I also don't want to miss out if you guys are going to play around in Megumin's hometown…"
Just go home already, you child!
Nonetheless, I shared some of Aqua's sentiments. If I had a choice, I would rather stay home and live out my days idly.
Especially since I am now able to go on dates with Megumin. Even if we only engage in tame activities, the prospect of dating a girl excites me. I want to see what the life of a successful riajuu with a girlfriend is like.
But with this business of the king's visit, Megumin has little choice but to go back to her hometown.
So it's only natural that the b-boyfriend comes along for this business, right?
"Hm? Why is Kazuma looking at me like that? Anyways, does Kazuma know when Yunyun and… That delinquent 'boyfriend' of hers will arrive?"
This so-called girlfriend couldn't sense my giddy and nervous feelings. She was only concerned about Yunyun.
Am I being NTR'd?
"Megumin's crush… I mean, rival, Yunyun, already went ahead of us. She was in a panic and hurried without packing. Who knows, maybe she is introducing Dust to her father as we speak. If we hurry and pick up our pace we might have a chance to witness that disaster… I mean, special moment."
"Isn't Kazuma the one who helped Yunyun with this business? Yet you're already expecting her to fail. This is why you are called Scumzuma in town. Aside from that, Kazuma should have convinced Yunyun not to go through with that silly plan of hers in the first place. Especially since she ended up settling for that no good delinquent!"
Megumin said with her face showing flashes of irritation and concern.
Am I really being NTR'd here?
According to Dodonko and Funifura, Megumin and Yunyun were yuri back when they were students.
I thought they were just teasing but it might be true?
Come to think of it, I don't know much about Megumin's past. Hearing about things I don't know about, like Megumin's life as a student, makes me feel like I'm missing out on a side story in a favorite series of mine that I didn't learn about until much later.
We walked through the wasteland. Eventually we reached the borders of the home of the crimson demons.
"Halt. Who goes there?"
A shimmering, transparent figure stepped into view. The voice sounded familiar.
To these figures who are probably using illusion magic to hide themselves, Megumin said,
"Buzucoily, please drop the act. It's obviously me, Megumin. It's me, it's me."
"...Somehow doesn't it seem like Megumin has lost the usual flair of our kin?"
After dispelling the illusion magic, several people appeared in front of us.
"I thought we were being harassed by ghosts and was preparing to strike with [God Blow]… Tch!"
Aqua's eyes glowed a furious blue. When he saw this, the now revealed Buzucoily waved his hands about in fright.
"There is no use for violence, Megumin's comrade! In… In any case, the festivities have already started. Megumin is not late but please hurry! Now that I have delivered that message… Militia force, disperse!"
At Buzucoily's command, the troop of NEETs cloaked themselves with the invisibility magic once more.
"From the words of Megumin's clansmen… It seems that there is a celebration of some sort."
Darkness said as we followed the path that leads to the village square.
"That is expected. My clan will of course go all out with trying to entertain the royal highness. But I do hope that my fellow clansmen don't go too far."
If Megumin of all people says such a thing, I will be very concerned.
"Be that as it may, I don't imagine what kind of entertainment the crimson demons can make at such short… Notice?!"
As Darkness exclaimed in astonishment, our jaws collectively dropped after we followed her gaze.
In the village square there is what used to be a real live griffon that was frozen in a stasis spell, and was then displayed like a statue.
It is normally a breathtaking sight and gave me goosebumps when I first saw it.
But now standing beside the frozen griffon is a person seemingly petrified by the same spell.
Now still as a statue, this is undoubtedly the king of belzerg. The king who is supposed to be visiting.
Those chuunis actually did it!
I thought that they were somewhat screwed up in the head, but I didn't think they were full on insane!
"Oi! Megumin! What do you have to say about this! As someone who is a member of this insane clan, how do you excuse this crazy stunt that was pulled by none other than your clansmen?!"
"W-What does Kazuma expect me to say?! No matter how you look at it, this situation is clearly out of my control!"
"Wahhh! We're all going to die! They'll chop our heads off!"
"C-Calm down Aqua! I won't let them touch you, even if I have to fight the law! Instead… I will ask them to punish only me! Yes, I'm at fault! I'm the one who turned the king into a statue! Huff… Huff…!"
As we all panicked, or at least, all of us except the twisted Darkness, another group of crimson demons approached us.
"K-Kazuma-san! It's nice to see you again so soon! Oh… Megumin is here, too. It's nice to see Megumin again, I suppose."
"It was eventful during Kazuma-san's last visit, so this time around, please leisurely enjoy the sights and attractions of the home of the crimson demons. Oh… Hello, Megumin."
Greeting us while giving me a friendly smile is Megumin's schoolmates, Dodonko and Funifura.
We are currently panicking over the sight of the statue but these girls are approaching us casually.
To these girls who were oblivious to our rising panic, Megumin said,
"...These thirsty virgins aren't even bothering to hide their intentions. But never mind that. I am admittedly out of touch with the customs of our people ever since I've acclimated with the ways of the outside world. Please tell me straight if this life-like statue is merely a perfect replica of the highness, or if our kinsmen really did lose their minds and decided to perform a terrorist act. Depending on your answer, I might have to disown myself from this clan and perform my duties as an elite adventurer…"
In the face of Megumin's very convincing threat, the girls looked at each other, then the statue and then back to Megumin. Realization dawned on their faces.
"Wah! No! Megumin should know better! It's just a really good statue, alright?! See, there's even a plaque in the bottom. Um… it reads… 'Here lies the king of Belzerg in his eternal, frozen sleep'… Eh?! That's not right! W-Wait! Someone must've replaced the original plaque as a joke! Really! Wait… Um, your name is Darkness-san, right? Why are you placing handcuffs on meeee!"
After letting the frightened Dodonko and Funifura go, they explained the situation to us.
"It was a misunderstanding after all. I'm sorry for doubting you."
"Megumin should have asked first before apprehending us! How could you!"
The girls who we unfairly convicted rubbed their wrists, where Darkness had handcuffed them.
Speaking of which, why did Darkness have a pair of handcuffs readily available?
They had explained to us that the statue was a perfect imitation, not the king himself petrified into stone by a spell.
For us to assume the worst reflects our opinions regarding the crimson demon clan.
At this moment, I began to see the many ways this royal visit could turn into a political catastrophe.
I exchanged glances with the others before we followed Megumin's schoolmates.
Just as I kept a wary eye out…
"Welcome to the home of the crimson demons! Please enjoy your stay, Satou-sama and his party!"
Suddenly appearing out of nowhere, two well-dressed crimson demons greeted us. They raised their hands to the air and multi-colored sparks shot out from their fingertips.
"…" x 4.
Faced with this unexpected sight, we could only stare blankly.
Our greeters didn't seem to mind our lack of a reaction. They kept hopping around and using showy, flashy magic in an attempt to entertain us.
"Amateurs… You bunch of amateurs! You think you can entertain guests with such half-hearted party tricks?! And to think that you crimson demons pride yourselves in your magic! Now, watch how an elite arch-priest does it! Nature's beauty!"
Aqua took out her fans and started an admittedly impressive performance.
"Uwooh?! That is impressive! But… As crimson demons we can't lose! Watch this!"
The crimson demons retaliated with their own awe-inspiring spectacle.
Indeed, they were both putting on a commendable performance.
…But to think that the powerful crimson demon clan and a goddess with the advanced arch-priest class is using their powers so frivolously.
I imagined that the king and his entourage thought they were being ambushed when those two crimson demons suddenly teleported in front of them, and threw a bunch of high-level magic around like they were fireworks.
I'm getting a really bad feeling about this!
"Help! Help! Somebody help me!"
Just as I had that thought, I heard a very familiar voice.
"!"
Running towards us was Iris!
Running towards me… Does she miss her onii-sama?
If only my GF, Megumin, isn't here, I would scoop my little sister Iris in my arms!
But what is Iris doing here?
There was no mention of the king's family coming along for the visit. From the letter, I presumed that only the king and some of his entourage are expected to visit.
No, what's important is that Iris is clearly distressed as she's running towards us.
"…Kekeke. Run away as fast as you can, princess… But you can't outrun me forever…"
"That is… It can't be!"
Darkness said as she drew her great sword.
Bat-like wings and a malicious red armor…
It was the devil king…!
He is supposed to be dead, and the last I saw of him, he was playing with the panties of Darkness and Megumin before we launched an explosion suicide attack.
But here he is, in the flesh.
This situation doesn't make any sense, but we can't get hung up on that. We have to act now!
"Megumin! Prepare to cast explosion!"
"…"
Megumin didn't reply to me. In fact, she is just staring blankly at the devil king.
I almost forgot that Megumin doesn't deal well with unexpected situations.
Before I could snap Megumin out of her trance…
"Please help me…!"
Iris cried as she kept sprinting away from the devil king.
I made to move towards her as well, stretching my hand out.
"Iris, come here!"
"…You're too late."
The devil king snapped his fingers.
Just as I reached Iris and held her in my arms…
"O… nii… sama… I don't feel so good…"
She said with her face twisted in pain.
Then her body started to crumble.
I watched in horror as her body started disintegrating, crumbling into dirt and dust.
The disintegrated Iris sifted through my hold and formed into a pile of dust at my feet.
No... It can't be.
This can't be happening.
My little sister… Iris?
"Damn you…!"
I cried out in a rage as I drew my bow and quickly loaded it with an arrow.
"Snipe!"
I launched the arrow at this bastard who killed my little sister!
"Argh~! The arrow has directly pierced my heart~! Damn you hero~! You've defeated me~! Ugohh…"
After the arrow hit its target, the devil king fell to his knee.
He even made a weird 'ugoohh' sound.
Then, like Iris, the devil king's body began to disintegrate into a pile of dust.
"E-Eh?"
It was over so quickly that Darkness who had been charging at the devil king slashed at the air and fell on her face.
Or rather, even if the devil king hadn't suddenly turned into a pile of dust, Darkness would have missed her attack anyways.
Aside from that, there's more important concerns at hand!
It was good that the devil king went down so easily but isn't this a little bit weird?
The two crimson demons from before caught up to us. Following behind them is Aqua, who we left behind as she was intent on having an 'artistic showdown' with the two crimson demons.
"Ah, that was one of our attractions. I hoped you enjoyed it!"
"Hahhhh?!"
One of the crimson demons pointed to the pile of dust in front of me, what had been Iris's body.
Although I'm beginning to doubt that it actually had been Iris's body.
"That was a replica of the princess Iris and is the result of a [Golem Creation] and [Illusion] combination spell! Ah, that 'devil king' is also an illusion fabricated by the same means. Very impressive is it not?!"
"Who?! Who thought that this cruel prank was a good idea?! Did you show the king this twisted image?!"
I directed this question to Dodonko and Funifura who were both avoiding my gaze.
It was Megumin who answered my question.
"…We crimson demons often play this game with one another. A scenario where the 'devil king' kills a loved one and the 'heroes' must avenge their death. It is a popular game among the children of the crimson demon clan. Ah, I recognized that this was all a sham from the beginning. That's why I didn't move to attack."
Then why didn't you give me any warning, Megumin?!
And do the kids of this clan really play this messed up game?! There's so many things I can say about that!
"T-The elders in charge of making the attractions thought it would be a good idea to display as much of the crimson demon culture as possible… Haha…"
Funifura said as she awkwardly avoided my gaze.
Again, why didn't anyone inform me of this?!
I lost all the strength in my legs as I collapsed on the ground.
But I made the mistake of falling over the dust pile of what used to be 'Iris'.
"Gah!"
I scrambled to get up but the dust had already clung to my clothes.
"Hm? What's going on? And why is Kazuma so dirty and why is Darkness crouched on the ground and crying her eyes out? Ah, Kazuma, since I am such a good and dependable friend, let me wash you! Nature's Beauty!"
"Nooo! You idiot goddess! Don't wash away my Iris! Wahhh!"
It's only been ten minutes or so since we arrived.
But this trip is already looking like a disaster.
Part 3
There is a festival atmosphere in the home of the crimson demons.
Every household contributed by setting up stalls that showed off an aspect of the crimson demon culture.
Among the many food and game stalls, each family owned business proudly displayed their specialty goods.
As we passed by the booths, a familiar face beckoned us over. Manning the stall is Sakunori-san, Funifura's mother who is the self-proclaimed 'number one housewife' of the crimson demon clan.
The Sakunori-san who kindly rented rooms to us during our last visit, smiled and said,
"Ah, Kazuma-san, long time no see. Look at this, Kazuma-san. My family specializes in making staffs, staves and other magical equipment. The fine staff Megumin-chan is using now is the result of my husband and Funifura-chan's hard work!"
Funifura blushed as her mother gave her a coy look.
"What… What are you implying, mama? I just wanted to show off to Megumin my growing expertise in magic item making, that's all! Isn't that right, Megumin?!"
Megumin was also looking away awkwardly. She said,
"…I suppose this staff is not bad. Although I don't really need it anymore now that my explosion is at such a high level."
Megumin said that even though I always see her doing maintenance on that beloved staff of hers.
"S-So mean! Megumin is so mean! At least pretend to care! I worked so hard making that… I-I mean… Hmph!"
What a bunch of tsunderes.
In fact, isn't the crimson demon clan filled with tsunderes? Or maybe it's only Megumin's friend group that act all tsun-tsun.
Excluding Arue, of course.
Sakunori-san laughed at her daughter's bashfulness. Then she went on with her sales-pitch… I mean, explanation.
"The item we are selling for this festival is this wonderful staff! This staff has a built in ability that Kazuma-san will surely be impressed by! This staff has a barrier negation ability that is unparalleled! I'd say that it is even powerful enough to disrupt the magic barrier around the capital's famous palace! If this item were to fall into the wrong hands, they will be able to raid the stronghold of the palace! I assure you of its effectiveness!"
"Mama… Although that item is very impressive, don't tell me that you told the exact same explanation to the king when he came over?! How could you?!"
Funifura said to her mother who is casually showing this terrorist weapon to us.
In reply, Sakunori-san said,
"Oh? The Funifura-chan who got all shy when the highness came over, who didn't even come out of her room as we were proudly showing our products to the highness, is speaking with such a tone? And doesn't Funifura-chan know that it is the crimson demon way to honor friends and foes alike by showing them the many ways we can end their life in an instant?"
What kinda messed up way of 'honoring' someone is that?
"I somehow knew that you and papa would pull such a tactless stunt! That's why I hid myself away! Geez!"
Funifura said as she stormed off from her family's booth.
"Ah… That Funifura-chan is becoming quite strange. Ever since she came back from the capital she hasn't been the same…"
Sakunori-san said, looking quite concerned as she watched her daughter stomp away.
I looked towards Dodonko, who was startled and let out an 'eep!' sound when I made eye contact with her.
"Um… Actually, Funifura and I started seeing our fellow clansmen and customs in a different light after we saw what the outside world was like…"
I see. So it's like that. Visiting the capital gave them insight into how the real world functions.
The valley girls who were influenced by this strange culture finally gained some sense.
Good for them. Maybe they will slowly follow the exemplary conduct of Yunyun, who is the only normal crimson demon.
"..."
No, recently Yunyun has become someone who will willingly go out with a delinquent like Dust. Even if it's only pretend, I can't say that Yunyun is 100% normal anymore.
We moved on from Sakunori-san's booth and looked around at the other booths.
In the food stalls, the dishes weren't too unusual although some of them served signature foods that were distinctly crimson demon.
Dishes like sword-beak cheeper broth ramen, blue-winged walloper stir fry noodles, and the now famous crimson demon spicy beer that is gaining popularity outside of the village.
If I remember correctly, it has become Dust's favorite drink and he'd spend all the money he manages to scrounge up on the peculiar spicy beer.
As for the game booths, there were the usual festival games such as target shooting and goldfish scooping—although in this case, the goldfish were quite high-levelled for some reason and had elite defensive specs despite its small form.
One had to weaken the formidable goldfish possessing high survival instincts with various means in order to capture it. As a result, the goldfish will usually suffer before it is captured.
What a strange and cruel 'game'.
I'm beginning to see a disturbing pattern with the 'games' that are popular in this town.
There were children and young people around Megumin's age group, the ones who weren't helping their parents run their booths, who were participating in the festivities. They were wearing clothes that looked like a cross between kimonos and mage robes.
As we passed by, various stall owners who were featuring their shop's merchandise called out to us,
"Kazuma-san, Kazuma-san! Check out this enchanted knife! It is designed to pierce through the toughest armor! It can even pierce through the adamantite armor that the royalty wear for combat! I assure you of its effectiveness!"
"Kazuma-san, Kazuma-san! Look at this! These are my family's most potent poisons! One of which is a poison that is said to be especially effective in killing those of royal descent! It will surpass even the royal family's superhuman immune system! The king didn't want to sample the poison for some reason, but I assure you of its effectiveness!"
"Kazuma-san, Kazuma-san! Check this out! This is a helmet that works especially well when worn by those of the royal lineage! The material is comprised of Regalite metal which is known to react well with the natural magic resistance aura those of royal blood emit! It will protect the wearer from even the most high levelled attack magic! Ah… But this is still in its trial stage. I can't assure you of its effectiveness…"
The one item that is actually beneficial doesn't even work.
Actually, rather than 'beneficial', it is the only item that doesn't function to eliminate and dispatch those with royal blood.
And did they really make the king pass through this street filled with terrorist weapons?
In an attempt to 'honor' him, they will go so far as to terrorize the poor man.
"Even though I came here to prevent such political mishaps from occurring… This is too much for me to handle… Ugh…"
Even Darkness who relishes being caught up in difficult situations is showing empty eyes.
The disillusioned crimson demons, Dodonko and Funifura, hung their heads low.
"Are we really like…? Is our clan really this bad?! Isn't everyone here a bunch of idiots?! How come I'm only beginning to see this?!"
"Uwaa… I hate this clan! I don't want to be a part of this clan anymore!"
These young girls suddenly entered a rebellious phase.
"Sigh… For Funifura and Dodonko to realize this only now. That's why it's important to step out of your comfort zone and explore the world outside of the village's walls, like I did. These valley girls… Geez, people from the hicks are really… W-Why is Kazuma looking at me like that?"
Megumin is acting like a big-shot city girl now. Even though she will still introduce herself in the usual crimson demon manner, and display a chuuni attitude when talking about her beloved explosion magic.
Furthermore, all these dangerous items out in the open. What if they fall in the wrong hands?
"Excuse me sir, that knife that can supposedly stab through even the royalty's armor… I'm very interested!"
Just as I was thinking that, Aqua approached the stall owners with a stack of Eris in her hands.
I don't remember giving her that much money.
Don't tell me she is using the Kazu-mall company credit card again.
Or even worse, she is extorting money out of Maxim, who is now the general manager of my recently established Kazu-corporation (copyrighted).
"Of course! It will cost you all the money you have in your hands right now! Ah... But, that knife is meant to be held by your dominant hand. Young lady, you are holding it in the wrong hand..."
These terrorist items are literally and figuratively falling into the wrong hands!
"Oh? Like this? Hiyahh!"
"What… What an impressive swing! With an attack like that, this young lady might even be able to kill someone of royal blood?! I can definitely assure you of its effectiveness!"
"Gah! Don't say that! Why would you say that?!"
Darkness started hyperventilating after this store owner said such scandalous words out in public.
"Ah… No, I don't need it for any such thing. Sometimes I have trouble pulling the cork out from the wine bottle's neck. I think this knife will help me with that! It's better than using Kazuma's useless Chunchun-something!"
Aqua said this while leaning towards the booth owner as if she's whispering, even when we can clearly hear her.
And what's this about my chunchunmaru? Aqua, you're using the legendary weapon of the hero Satou Kazuma-sama as some kind of bottle opener?
"R-Right… Well, that will cost the young lady 2, 000, 000 eris…"
I intervened just as the transaction was about to be made.
"Stupid goddess! You're not going to spend a small fortune on a deadly weapon like that only to use it as a bottle opener! And what's wrong with my chunchunmaru?! Why are you not satisfied with my chunchunmaru?!"
"Wah?! Kazuma?! Stop shaking meee!"
Aqua yelled as I violently shook her.
I was starting to reach my breaking point.
I've almost forgotten that this place can easily drive anyone crazy.
"Kazuuuma-saamaaa! Please stooop!"
Part 4
When I said 'this place can drive anyone crazy'…
"…Ah, Kazuma-san and his party. It seems that you've also come for this, um, 'festival'. I am very grateful. Ahahahaha! Hah… I've made a terrible mistake coming here, didn't I? Ehe.. Haha… Ha…"
The king said while laughing to himself in a slightly crazed way.
…I didn't think that even the king would lose his marbles.
Between seeing his own daughter crumble to dust in front of his own eyes only to find that it's some kind of children's game, and then witnessing a bunch of friendly faced store owners casually display items that can easily terminate him and his family…
It's no wonder that the king is all ashen faced and looking at us with dead eyes.
We have been received at the village chief's mansion. The king and his entourage was also received much earlier. They are now situated in a reception hall.
While the decorations are not lavish, the flair and eccentricity of the crimson demon clan is portrayed by the arrangement and furnishings. There are circular tables arranged into rows in the hall. Tasteful red cloths were draped over the tables.
Instead of the conventional chandelier, a parade of levitating candles and lamps lazily circuit above us.
Seated among the tables are various crimson demons. There are not a lot of people in this village so I don't know how they filled the tables here while also having a busy festival outside.
The most likely answer is that they are using [Golem Creation] and [Illusion] to fill up some seats. It is not so farfetched to assume the crimson demons will resort to such means for the sake of looking cool.
The king's entourage consists of Claire and a green haired girl who had a crossbow slung across her back. I've only seen this girl a couple of times, the first time was during that tournament in the capital. If I remember correctly, she is the king's top assassin, Lucie.
She seems like the quiet type and didn't bother to meet my eyes when I glanced over her. She is standing obediently behind the king in a somewhat unapproachable, but not impolite manner.
Claire was a lot more expressive than her fellow bodyguard, however, and said,
"My majesty… I say that we deal with these crimson demons before they finally lose their minds and turn against us…!"
It looks like Claire has a bad impression of the crimson demons. Based on what I've seen so far of this 'festival', I can somewhat sympathize.
"Hello. Would you like another blue-fin walloper sandwich?"
As Claire had been sharing her plans to eliminate this clan full of potential terrorists to the king, a crimson demon carrying a serving tray accidentally interrupted her.
Was that on purpose or was it really an accident?
Knowing these crimson demons, they won't be offended if the king views them as a threat. They will take it as a compliment.
"A-Ah! T-Thank you. Yes, this blue-fin walloper sandwich is indeed delicious! The blue-fin walloper stir fry noodles from the booths outside was also quite nice! Ahahaha… Kazuma-sama, please save us!"
"O-Oi! Get off me!"
Claire went from speaking in a polite, thankful tone, to desperately clutching onto my clothes once the server left out of earshot.
The prideful Claire asked for my help even when she doesn't get along with me. She must have suffered greatly during her short stay in this village.
Come to think of it, even the docile Rain-san was corrupted by this place.
And the devil king's daughter, Maouko, went so far as to launch an all-out offensive on this vexing clan.
In response to the Claire who is now beginning to become hysterical, the king said,
"N-Now, now, Claire… We are guests here and I'm sure the villagers mean well. We are the rude ones who announced our intention to visit without much warning. It is quite impressive that the villagers have prepared so many a-a-attractions for… for… Wahhh!"
The king suddenly let out a lamenting cry as he held his face in his hands.
"Iris…! Wahhh! Daddy is sorry he couldn't save youuuu!"
We all averted our gaze respectfully as the king broke down crying.
"M-M 'lord! I also suffered from that cruel prank! Ah, but even when it's an illusion, Princess Iris is still quite… Ehehe… It's a good thing I preserved some of that dust in a vial and… I-I mean… No more of this! I'm taking these tactless crimson demons down!"
What was that about preserving something in a vial?
Will this thirsty noble get over her Iris fixation already? Isn't she approaching the age of 'expiration'? If she doesn't hurry up and marry someone, she will become a Christmas cake at this point.
Speaking of Christmas cakes…
Darkness was shaking slightly when she stepped up to the king.
"M' lord. You are correct in saying that these crimson demons mean well, so please don't hold a grudge against them…"
"Lalatina… Yes, you're right. As always, your words soothe me."
The king looked at the girl who he once requested to become the queen of this country, with admiration in his eyes.
Ah, your highness, please don't compliment her. Can't you see how she's shaking?
I bet she's actually thinking something along the lines of…
"P-Please tell me! As a father who saw his own daughter die in such a horrific way and being helpless to stop it… That torture! How did it feel like?! Please don't spare any details!"
"E-Eh?"
Yes, like that.
The king might have high regards for this fake noble for some reason, but she is like this.
Please don't casually hand over the nation to someone like her!
To Darkness who is now shaking in ecstasy and showing a lewd face to the king, Claire said,
"L-Lalatina-dono! Cease this… this… this Thot-like behavior this instance!"
"U-Unhand me, Claire-dono! I must know, your highness, I must know!"
As Claire struggled to deal with Darkness, I felt a tap on my shoulder.
I turned around to see a very contented looking village chief. His face is flushed a merry red.
"Ah! Kazuma-san! I didn't think you would come! But of course, where Megumin goes, Kazuma-san will follow? Ahahaha! I'm just joking, please don't be offended… Ahahaha!"
He's drunk and I can smell the crimson demon spicy beer in his breath.
Should the leader of the village be this drunk in the presence of royalty?
And his hand is patting my shoulder but he's touching me in a weird way.
Oh, that's right. The village chief will get very lewd when he's drunk. It doesn't matter the gender, he will get very handsy-feely.
"Ah, village chief. It has been a while."
Megumin said as she gave a slight nod to the village chief.
"Hmm, hmm. Yes, Megumin, it has been a while. Doesn't it seem like Megumin has grown a lot since then? Ah, no, it is only Megumin's hair that has grown longer. Ah… Poor Megumin. I know that you have a bit of a rivalry with my daughter, Yunyun… It must be a sad for you since she's beaten you in terms of… Being a woman?"
"…Hah?"
Taken off guard by the chief's words, Megumin responded with a blank look.
"Oh, I've had the pleasure of meeting my Yunyun's amazing boyfriend! What an exemplary man he is! So polite and knowledgeable in many topics! Ah, but never mind. Speaking of the king, I must entertain my important guest! If you will excuse me…"
The chief said as he turned and walked over to the king, who managed to look even more depressed when he saw the chief make his way over.
Beside me, Megumin's expression was unreadable.
"Saying that Yunyun beat me as a woman even though I'm the one who actually has my lover, Kazuma, over here. Ah, my lover, Kazuma, why don't we greet Yunyun who is sitting so smugly over there with her 'amazing boyfriend', Dust?"
Megumin grabbed me by the hand and pulled me towards Yunyun's table.
I looked towards my support team, Darkness and Aqua, for help. However, Darkness was currently trying to mediate the conversation between the king and the chief and Aqua had already ditched us and made friends with the bartender.
As we approached, Yunyun's eyes widened when she saw the scary face of Megumin.
"Eek! Megumin?! Why is Megumin making that kind of face?!"
Megumin dragged me down to a chair as she took her own seat.
In a rare sight, Yunyun is wearing formal wear, a navy blue evening dress that showed off her womanly curves. She also has her hair all the way down, giving her even more of a mature look.
Frankly speaking, Yunyun looked very beautiful.
"Ah… Kazuma and Megumin has arrived. I do apologize for going ahead of your party, Kazuma, but 'Yun-chan' over here was in quite a hurry. Mmn… You must simply try this authentic crimson demon spicy beer. It is quite delicious…"
Sitting next to Yunyun is a debonair individual wearing a stylish three-piece suit.
"Yunyun, who is this guy?"
"Ara, ara. Kazuma never fails to have a delightful sense of humor. It is obviously me, Dust."
No way. This lady killer who has his hair styled back and had one arm flirtatiously, but respectfully, wrapped around Yunyun's waist as he's moderately sipping on crimson demon spicy beer, can't be the Dust I know.
We both stared at these two who looked like supermodels right now.
Compared to them, Megumin and I are still wearing our adventuring gear. And mine is all dirty from my encounter with 'Iris'.
"Um... Isn't Megumin and Kazuma-san going to take a seat? And why are you both staring at us so intently?"
"O-Oh. Yeah…"
Megumin's fire died down as she came across this intimidatingly beautiful Yunyun.
We meekly took our seats across this power couple.
"Kazuma-san, Kazuma-san! Our plan worked! I don't know how but it worked! Dust-san made quite the impression on my father! My father was even impressed when Dust-san showed him his dragon!"
Yunyun excitedly recounted her father's first meeting with Dust.
"Ah… Speaking of which, I hope that the stable hands are taking care of my dear Nuynuy. That little wyvern has gotten quite attached to me."
"…Please stop calling her 'Nuynuy' already, Dust-san."
"Oh? Is 'Yun-chan' embarrassed? How cute."
"Geez! Dust-saaann~!"
"…" x 2.
Aren't these two supposed to be faking their relationship?
Then why did it feel like this fake couple is beating Megumin and I, who are supposedly a real couple, in terms of flirting and building a good mood?
"Ah, 'Yun-chan', you have something on your face."
"Oh! Sorry…"
"Let me get it off…"
"Dust-san…"
"…" x 2.
Can this lovey-dovey couple die already?
Part 5
…The reception party continues.
As Megumin and I are silently glaring daggers at the annoying couple, a voice called out to us.
"Yunyun-chan~! I don't think I've introduced you and Dust-kun to the highness yet right~? Come over here already~! Ah, your highness, would you like some of our specialty crimson demon spicy beer? It's quite delicious!"
"No thank you. I am allergic to spicy foods…"
A couple tables away, the village chief beckoned for Yunyun to come over. Beside him, the king looks relieved that he doesn't have to deal with the chief all alone anymore.
Darkness also looks like a part of her has died inside. Claire is looking pretty much the same.
The only one who didn't seem disturbed in some way is Lucie. Although, she does look a bit more guarded than before.
Just what had the chief been telling the king?
As the chief called for her, Yunyun looked towards me in a panic.
"Kazuma-san! What do I do?! This is the first time I've met someone this important!"
In response, Megumin said,
"Oh? Even though Yunyun has always been in the company of one such as myself, the great explosion user that is revered by the mage community? One who was asked to come as a guest speaker for the 50th annual Mage-con held in the capital?"
This was the first time I heard of that.
"Kazuma-san! What should I do?!"
Megumin was ignored. To the panicking Yunyun, I said,
"Since we are quite familiar with the king, Megumin and I will come with you two."
Reassured somewhat, Yunyun stood, followed by Dust. I made to follow them.
"Ah. Go ahead, Kazuma. I don't want to drag down the beautiful Yunyun who already has a lover. I will go ahead and join my fellow bachelorettes over there, that table of girls who have been looking at Yunyun enviously this whole time."
Megumin pointed to a table where Dodonko, Funifura and Arue were seated.
Hey, that was quite mean.
To call Arue a jealous bachelorette is uncalled for.
We parted ways and I followed Yunyun to the king's table.
Darkness gave me a look with eyes drained of life as I sat beside her.
"The village chief… He's been talking all this while about the ease in which the clan usually dispatches of the former devil king army troops… Casually showing off to the king who lost a lot of his men in the war against the devil king is…"
As expected of one who is the village chief of the crimson demons. Out of all of them, he is the most tactless and idiotic.
As we took our seats and the chief made the introductions, the king's eyes widened a little as he was introduced to Dust.
"Hm… I feel like I've seen this man before…"
As the king said this, Lucie, who looks even more guarded than she was previously, leaned down towards the king and whispered something to his ear.
"I see. I thought I recognized you… Calling yourself 'Dust' in this nation, huh? To see the legendary Dragon Knight here is…"
"Gah! Please don't say anymore! Here, why don't you drink this, your highness?!"
"...Hmph?!"
As the king was saying something interesting, Dust suddenly stood up and shoved his mug of spicy crimson demon beer into the king's mouth.
"!"
Suddenly acting in a rough manner against the king…!
"Dust-san?! What are you doing?!"
Yunyun exclaimed in shock as Dust forcefully made the king swallow a mouthful of the beer.
It seems that the suave personality Dust showed earlier was just an act.
No, that much is expected. And I know that Dust is unreasonable at times but there's a limit to how unpredictable one can act.
Seriously… What the hell is he doing?
Does he want his head chopped off?
"A-Ah! Well, the king looked very thirsty so I thought I'd share my drink with him! Drink up, your highness! This is the famous crimson demon spicy beer! It's very delicious! Make sure to drink all of… IT?!"
Dust dropped his mug as Lucie, who had been standing behind the king and hasn't moved from her spot the whole time, drew her crossbow.
"Let go of the majesty this instant… Dragon Knight."
Although a bit slow to react, Claire stood up from her seat beside the king and drew her long sword.
And once again, the term 'Dragon Knight' was mentioned.
I have been willfully ignoring it until now, the matter of Dust's true identity. Probably since I can't see him as any more than Axel's resident delinquent.
Nonetheless, it seems like this important matter I had been trying to ignore is now coming to light in the worst way possible. In a bid to protect his secret, Dust reacted in such an unpredictable manner.
"…"
In this tense moment, the lively atmosphere of the reception hall has gone to a dead halt.
But that only lasted a little while...
"Uwohh?! A fight?! A fight is about to break out?! How exciting! The crimson blood flowing through my veins is boiling!"
"My eye! My eye which contains the ancient god is… The seal is breaking! Everyone, you must run away!"
"Ugh! I can't control my bloodlust! Very well, I must unleash the inner fury trapped within!"
Taking this opportunity to show off, the chuunis stood from their seats and struck their poses.
"E-Everyone, calm down! There's no fight going on! This is all just a misunderstanding!"
Darkness was quick to try and placate the crimson demons whose eyes are flashing as they got hyped up.
As this was going on...
"Uck!"
Suddenly, the king made a choking sound.
During all this commotion, I failed to notice that the king's face is taking on a shade of red.
He's also gripping his throat with his hands, the universal sign that someone is having trouble breathing.
That… That can't be good right?
Sweat was pouring down his face. Seeing this, Dust said,
"Um… I know that the drink is a bit hot, but isn't that reaction to much?"
"Fool! Don't you know that the king is very allergic to spicy foods! Even so… I've never seen this kind of reaction…"
Claire said to Dust as she tried to give the king some water. However, the king's body was shaking so much that the water only dripped down his lips.
As she examined the condition of her charge, Lucie said,
"…This is because of the way the king was forcefully made to consume the beverage. And this authentic spicy beer made locally by the crimson demons is especially potent. The spiciest 'crimson pepper' is used as the base ingredient. Quick! Do we have a healer here? We can still save him!"
I noticed that when Lucie was talking about the beer being 'forcefully' shoved down the king's throat, she looked at Dust with barely concealed suspicion in her eyes.
The target of that suspicion averted his eyes and said,
"Ah! I-I didn't mean it! Really!"
I looked around for Aqua. If it's that goddess who is only useful for one thing is around, then this incident can be easily sorted out.
Only to find her passed out at the bar.
Useless!
"Darkness! Go get Aqua!"
Darkness nodded as she dashed off to retrieve that poor excuse of a goddess who is never around when you need her.
During all this, Megumin and her friends made their way over to me. Megumin said,
"Kazuma? What's going on?"
"The king seems to be having some trouble after consuming the spicy beer, but don't worry! Even in the unfortunate scenario where the king dies, Aqua is an arch-priest who can resurrect anyone!"
"Don't kill off the king already! There is still hope… Ah!"
Just as Claire started to rebuke me, the king coughed violently again.
"Gack! Hack! Guwack!"
"!"
The king's face is purple now. His tongue is sticking out as his eyes dilated.
This… This really doesn't look very good!
Even the crimson demons who were showing off earlier were starting to look worried.
Lucie hasn't stopped aiming her crossbow at Dust, who is now sweating buckets as he looked around, probably for an exit to run to.
The village chief who hasn't said anything all this while, raised his hand and said,
"Um… Does the king not like our specialty beer, or something?"
This chief is way too oblivious.
He must be joking around to say such a tactless and clueless thing. Either way, this situation is looking pretty bad.
"Kazuma! I have Aqua! She's barely conscious but if we hurry I think we can…!"
"GUCCKKK! HUCCKKK!"
His body lurching from where he was seated, his face now dark purple, the king gave out this distressed choking sound.
And then…
Like a puppet that got its strings cut…
"…Erk…"
After making one last final sound, the king collapsed on the floor with his tongue hanging out.
Part 6
"Ah, I forgot that I had to do something somewhere else! Teleport!"
"I should really attend to my stall! Ah, by the way, about the 'poison that can even kill those of royal blood', it was my wife's idea to sell that, not mine! Teleport!"
"Teleport! Teleport! Ah, this is too slow! I should have spent some points on speed-casting!"
The crimson demons who were showing off earlier were quick to make their exit.
And so we are left in this room.
"..."
The unmoving body of the king is laid out in front of us.
"Wait! What are those handcuffs for! Darkness-san?! Wait, get that crossbow away from me!"
Seeing Darkness and Claire apprehend Dust, Yunyun was quick to offer her support. She said,
"W-Wait, this must be a misunderstanding! Dust-san is really not so… bad? He may be despicable in many ways but… I-In any case, please let him go!"
Yunyun's pleas were predictably ineffective. Ignoring Yunyun, Claire said,
"Dragon Knight who goes by the name of 'Dust'. You're under suspicion of committing subversion of the nation! Please come along with us!"
"Ehhh?!"
A familiar scene unfolded in front of me.
"Kazuma, come on man! Say something! What is this 'subversion' they are talking about! Help me out, Kazuma!"
Dust wailed as he was arrested by the duty-bound nobles. When faced with this familiar scene, I can only empathize.
But...
To Dust who is looking at me with pleading eyes…
"I-If only I could have stopped Dust before he committed a terrorist crime! Unfortunately I couldn't stop him in time. That's right. How unfortunate!"
"Kazuma is abandoning me?!"
Empathy only goes so far.
Still, if this situation escalates, this will be very bad.
Right now we are all staring in shock at the king's body lying all limp and pale on the floor.
What a ridiculous event I've stumbled into.
"Huh? What's going on here… Ah? The king is napping? I wanna nap too… Snore… Snore…!"
Finally, the one we have been waiting for, Aqua, has arrived.
She is still drunk and even falling asleep in a moment like this.
"Oi! You wannabe goddess who only has a few moments when she's allowed to shine! Don't pass out on us now! If you heal the king quickly, maybe there won't be any need for him to meet Eris-sama or whichever god is taking her shift right now in heaven!"
"…Huh? What's going… Urp. I feel sick… Bweh!"
Aqua suddenly straightened her posture when she saw the corpse of the king.
However, the sudden movement made her face glow a bright, nauseous green.
"Bweeehhhh…"
"!"
Out of all the places someone can puke on...
And isn't she puking way too much?
No one was able to stop her. We were too shocked by the absurdity of it all to do anything.
…We now stared at the cold, pale corpse of the king of belzerg, now covered in the vomit of a drunkard goddess.
"I'm sorry! Look, I'm sober now after I vomited out some of the alcohol! So Kazuma stop hurting me alreadyyyy!"
Aqua complained loudly as I grinded my knuckle against her skull. I have no problems on taking out my frustrations on this clumsy goddess.
"How… How disrespectful! Really, this whole trip has been a disaster! But… Kazuma-san, your arch-priest comrade is one of the only few people in this country who has mastery of the [Resurrection] spell. Please… Bring m'lord back to life!"
Claire, in a rare display of submissive behavior, bowed herself to us deeply.
No, I'm the one who showed be bowing to you, Claire-sama. It is the stupid me who thought it was a good idea bringing Dust to this trip, Claire-sama.
By increasing the collective idiot score of the group, some kind of disaster like this was bound to occur.
Aqua, Dust and a village full of crimson demons…
What did I expect was going to happen?!
"Really… This troublesome village…!"
I cried out in frustration.
"I feel like Kazuma is making the wrong impression in his mind now. My clan had nothing to do with this."
"No… Don't you see, Megumin?! Our clan finally did it! They finally crossed a line that should never be crossed! I don't even know why we make our beer spicy! I mean, I've never really had it before, but it seems like a pointless addition to a beverage that is perfectly fine as it is!"
It looks like Funifura is still having an identity crisis about the clan she was only recently disillusioned about.
As we slowly devolved into a state of panic, it was Darkness once more who attempted to settle things down.
"Everyone, let's give Aqua some space. She has a perfect track record with the resurrection spell. Although we like to call Aqua all sorts of names, I have no doubt that she…"
"…I-It's not working… Ehe…"
"Ah. Is that so? Then I volunteer to take on all the blame. Please take me to the capital and make an example of me by publicly flogging my naked body. Please! This is the only way!"
Why do I keep giving this Lewdtina the benefit of the doubt?
Aside from that, what is Aqua saying about the spell not working?
As the cheat 'item' I chose to bring along, her healing capabilities are quite literally 'God-tier'.
That ability is her only selling point.
Claire is having the same thoughts as she approached Aqua with a weak smile.
"Um… Aqua-sama? Saying something like 'it's not working'… I misheard that, right?"
Aqua shook her head as she avoided Claire's hysteric gaze.
"Like I said, it's not working! The spell is working fine but something is stopping the king's spirit from coming back to its original body! It is most likely still trapped in heaven... Ah, I know. I bet my kouhai Eris is giving the king some self-serving speech and refuses to let him go. That attention-hogging goddess!"
Can you stop projecting your own selfish tendencies to the pure Eris-sama, Aqua?
But, if that is really the case and something in heaven is preventing the king from coming back to his body…
"Perhaps I should go over to Eris-sama's realm and check."
As I said this, Megumin's brows furrowed and she said,
"Going to Eris-sama's realm… Doing so will require Kazuma to end his life, right? Even if he can be resurrected by Aqua, we have seen with the king that the spell doesn't work 100% of the time. What if it doesn't work?"
She looked at me with concern as she said that.
"As expected of Kazuma-san! What creative thinking! Here, this poison that is even said to work on the advanced immune system of royalty should do the trick…"
Why is the chief casually telling me to KMS?
"No! I will do no such thing! The truth is, the last time I visited Eris-sama's realm after my, um, little accident in the palace, I had the idea of registering Eris-sama's realm in my teleportation scrolls…"
In order to teleport, with the spell or with the use of a scroll or some other item, one needed to register the intended location. It is not possible to teleport to a place one has not visited or registered.
I got this idea after seeing the lonely Eris-sama who is now developing an obsession on a certain masked devil. After feeling some pity on her, I decided to visit her more and check up on her.
I needed to keep her devil slaying compulsions in check.
"If it's just that, then hurry up, Kazuma! This green haired one hasn't let down her aim ever since! I have a feeling I will be publicly executed at this point!"
"N-No! We won't let that happen! Isn't that right, father?! Even if we have to fight against the entire nation, we must not let them have Dust-san! The… The pride of the crimson demons swirling in my blood will not allow it!"
For the sake of Dust who is struggling against his captors, Yunyun declared these words that could be interpreted as a declaration of war.
'The pride of the crimson demons', huh?
She says that even though most of those crimson demons used 'Teleport' at the first sign of trouble.
"...In any case, I will go ahead and see if there are any problems in Eris-sama's realm."
I said as I took out a scroll of teleportation from my carry bag.
After receiving nods and more pleas from Dust, I activated the spell.
A flashing light surrounded me…!
Part 7
"I don't wanna go back!"
"Eh?"
I had safely arrived to Eris-sama's realm. Surely enough, I saw the king in his spirit form.
He did not seem troubled. In fact, he is resting on the seat across from Eris-sama while eating a bag of chips.
"These 'chips' are quite good! As expected of the food of the gods!"
Come to think of it, Aqua had been eating some chips and snacks when I first visited her realm.
Maybe I should ask Eris-sama to give me some snacks from Japan next time as a souvenir.
I looked away from the king who is lazily sitting on his chair while stuffing his face with snacks.
I turned my gaze to Eris-sama who is looking at the king with some exasperation.
"Kazuma-kun… I mean, Kazuma-san? What are you doing here?"
I explained about how I registered her realm as a teleport destination, and more importantly, about my business for coming here.
In reply, Eris-sama scratched her cheek uneasily and said,
"Well, as you can see, the king refuses to go back…"
Yes, I can definitely see that.
The king who had always been dignified and had an air of regality is now reminding me of a certain slovenly goddess.
He is slouching on his chair and there are chip crumbs stuck on his beard.
"Burp! Ah, Eris-sama, I want some more."
"Right…"
Eris-sama snapped her fingers and some more snacks appeared on the king's lap.
How convenient…!
No, now is not the time to be impressed or jealous of this king who is now stuffing his face with nostalgic snacks from my childhood.
"Um, your highness… I know that you would rather not deal with the crimson demons for some time, trust me, I know your pain! But, we need you to come back now…"
"I refuse."
He answered me flatly with a stern look in his gaze.
I would have been more intimidated if there wasn't strawberry milk dripping down his chin.
"Does Kazuma-san even know how stressful it is to run a nation? Worrying about external and internal conflicts. As if running the daily affairs is not hard enough, there are all sorts of schemes and dirty work to be done behind the scenes. For this reason, I have been grooming Jatis to take up the throne since his childhood. But to think that he'd turn out to be… to be some lolicon, siscon freak! Doing things like harvesting the bathwater of Iris-chan after she has done bathing, or taking her panties and seeping it in hot water and making 'panty-tea', or creepily staring at her while she is sleeping… I've had enough! I've seriously come close to throwing that no good prince in the dungeon! I seriously hoped that Lalatina would accept my offer, and she can take over after I retire… But…"
The king is talking as if Darkness will do a better job than Jatis. But he is overlooking the fact that Darkness has degenerate qualities as well.
Furthermore, what is this 'panty-tea' thing the king mentioned…?
I'm somehow a bit interested!
"I understand the highness's troubles now. We can discuss this some more after we head back..."
"I told you, I don't wanna! Don't wanna, don't wanna, don't wanna!"
The king started stomping his feet like some kind of brat…!
To think that the king of this nation has a bratty quality in him.
It seems that it's a universal rule for all nobility to possess some kind of troublesome hidden quality.
In the face of my stubborn opposition, I attempted to reach a compromise. I said,
"Fine! Since it seems that the king wants to play around for a bit in Eris-sama's realm, we can give you a day off! That seems fair."
"Um, please don't use my realm as a place to hang out…"
After Eris-sama silently complained, the king looked up from his snacks and said,
"Ah, no. I'm really not going back. I will peacefully pass on to heaven and be reunited with my wife, the late Lady Belzerg."
"E-Eh…?"
Looking at me seriously for the first time since I got here, the king said this absurd thing.
…
...
Chapter 21 END
Next Chapter: A Civil War for this Terrorist Village!