Chapter 23: A Broken Power Leveling Scheme for this Lazy HikiNEET!
Editing and supervision: LordVTP
Proofreading: Marv
...
...
Part 1
"What is this strange looking artifact, Kazuma?"
The morning after we got back from the trip, we woke up much later than we usually would and had a late breakfast.
Well, Aqua and I usually wake up at noon anyways.
After breakfast, I presented the souvenirs I purchased from that gift shop in heaven.
One of these souvenirs is the 'artifact' Darkness is examining right now.
"I don't know what it is, but it looks pretty cool."
Megumin joined Darkness as they both tentatively poked at this strange item before them.
"This is a wonderful device from my country. I don't know if I told all of you this yet, but in my country I was tasked with protecting my home from potential invaders and enemies. I stayed home all day in order to carry out this task. In order to keep my skills sharp, I used this device to hone my reflexes, and also to hone my fighting skills in simulations…"
"Hey, Kazuma, these are just game consoles aren't they? And they even come with a TV, huh? And what's with this talk about protecting your home and all that? Weren't you just a NEET who played video games all day… Hmmph?!"
"Now, now! Hush, Aqua! Now, why don't you two try this console… I mean, magic item, out? Ha ha ha… Come over here with me for a sec, Aqua-san~"
I dragged Aqua to the side and said,
"Oi! You lied to me! You told me that heaven was some kind of over glorified retirement home and all people do is bask in the sunlight!"
"I didn't lie! As Kazuma was of that moment, you would have gone to the economy seat equivalent of heaven! The heaven Kazuma visited is the first class heaven reserved for those who have accomplished great things in their life!"
Now that I think about it, karma did seem to play a big part in that heaven I visited.
But, isn't there too much of a polarity? The normal heaven is an eternity of basking in the sunlight like a bunch of vegetables, an eternity of celibacy. Meanwhile, the heaven reserved for big shots is like a big amusement park.
No, actually there didn't seem to be much of a difference. Even in the 'first class seat' heaven, the folks there didn't have anything better to do than spy and gossip about the affairs of the living.
"Whoooaa! Kazuma, this thing is making a bunch of scary noises! What do I do?! And I can't read the letters on the screen at all! What kind of language is this?!"
The manual I read last night said that the console's default language is set to Japanese but could be changed to the common language of this world.
After fiddling with the settings, I let Megumin and Darkness experiment with the console themselves.
"W… Whoa! What kind of magic is making this… this moving imagery possible?! This is amazing! The magic items in Kazuma's country are quite amazing!"
"Don't be so impressed by this device that is a fixture in every Japanese household, you two… Hmmmph?!"
I shut up Aqua who wasn't satisfied unless she ruined the good mood.
They were still clumsy with the controls, but Darkness and Megumin were having a lot of fun playing their first ever video game.
After about half an hour...
"Now that I levelled up, I will spend all my skill points on magic power."
"I will do the same, but with defence, instead."
The whole point of RPG's is to escape reality for a bit, but these two were content to play as their incompetent selves even in a game.
Nostalgia overcame me as I watched them play. I recalled the times I'd play games with my little brother, how we'd get all competitive with one another and how we'd lose track of time, often times forgetting that we had school the next day and end up staying awake all night to play.
"Aqua, let's play with these together."
"Oh, Kazuma even got some handheld ones, huh? Very well, I accept Kazuma's challenge! I've also played my fair share of games back in heaven, you know? Don't underestimate me!"
So she admits to slacking off on the job and playing games, huh?
As Aqua and I set up our handhelds for LAN play, Megumin called to me,
"Kazuma, Kazuma, please help me. I want to attack right now but for some reason my character refuses to move."
Her face looked calm but she's furiously mashing on the buttons.
"This might be a weird concept for Megumin, but in this type of game, you must wait your turn before your character can attack again. Right now it is the enemy slime's turn to attack."
"I don't get it. Why must we politely wait for these slimes to attack? Must we really extend such courtesy to mere monsters? And why are the powerful slimes our opponent when we are still weak? What a cruel world…"
"It's your world that's backwards. There's no way that slimes are actually powerful monsters. I'm glad that you're all suffering the same culture shock I went through."
In this world, the vegetables have a will of their own and you can find a powerful lich and an all seeing devil barely scrounging up money in their little store.
Also, for some reason, slimes are considered powerful monsters.
Meanwhile, Aqua and I started playing a more competitive game.
"No fair! Kazuma is cheating! Kazuma probably coerced the gift shop staff to rig the game for his benefit! Admit it! Tricking a goddess is a sin, you know?!"
Aqua pulled on her hair in frustration as I pummeled her chosen fighter onto destructible objects set up around the battle stage.
"I'm not a cheater. How dare you accuse me of such a thing. We can switch devices if Aqua wants, but it'd be easier to come to terms with the gap of skill between us… Oi! How… How does Aqua know about that cheat combo?! That's banned in tournaments, you know?! Let me down already!"
Aqua ignored my cries as she continued mashing buttons, continuously delivering uppercuts to my character, suspending him in the air in an unbreakable, juggling chain combo.
As if I'd lose to Aqua of all people!
"Time to show this casual gamer who only plays games to kill time who's boss! Take this!"
"What's wrong with being a casual gamer?! Why is Kazuma so proud of his former status as a harcore gamer who didn't have friends or a girl?! Ah, I died."
To think that I'd have to go all out against Aqua…
Now that I think about it, Aqua is talented in all sorts of weird things. If she puts her mind to it, this goddess who is a genius only when it comes to useless skills might steadily get better at fighting games…
I'll have to beat her down before she realizes her potential!
"Kazuma, Kazuma. It says here that the slime has joined our party after we defeated it. We can now make it our pet. Is it possible to… Ehe, have my character 'play' with the slime somewhere private…?"
Darkness said as she stared lewdly at the slime now following behind her party.
Compared to Aqua, those two have no gamer potential whatsoever.
Part 2
After a few hours playing with our new toys, I debated with myself whether I should present the gift I bought for Megumin at this time.
"The way Kazuma is gently looking at me feels really nice, but my instincts are telling me to keep my guard up."
Am I really that untrustworthy?
"Don't worry. Megumin will see later."
I felt up the small box tucked inside my pocket to ensure it was still there.
"I don't mind Kazuma and Megumin's flirting, but please consider who we are visiting. If you guys flirt around that lich who is destined to stay an expired Christmas cake for all of eternity, she will only get depressed."
"Even though Aqua is insulting Wiz and not me, why do I feel compelled to hit Aqua really hard right now?"
Because Aqua's words hit you on a deeply personal level, Expired-tina.
With nothing else to do in the afternoons, normally we hang out at Wiz's store.
At first Vanir would complain, especially when we brought Aqua along, but he must have gotten tired of complaining after some time and gave up on resisting.
At the sound of the door chime, Wiz, who was working hard wiping down a counter that already looked well washed, looked up from her work and greeted us with a welcome.
"Everyone's here! I'll make some tea… Ow! What was that for, Vanir-san?!"
Vanir chopped Wiz on the head. He said,
"These people are already so rich, why art thou offering tea?! The rich don't need our hospitality! Moi will serve our guests some tap water. That will satisfy them!"
"Vanir-san is so cheap… I'm just acting like a good host to our friends…"
"If they were true friends, they would do moi the favor of purchasing all the useless goods this dimwitted shopkeeper bought in bulk! By the way, young man who is getting full of himself recently just because things are going well with his love life… Would you be interested in these excellent products we have in stock?"
"Don't try to sell me stuff you were just dissing. Do you think I'm stupid?"
I've already given Vanir the intellectual rights to my inventions, the goods that closely resemble everyday products in Japan. There's also the Vanir-doll stall I let him set up in Kazu-mall and all those 'fortune-telling picture booths', which I allowed to stay in operation, even though those things already trolled me once.
After all that, they're still broke?
"For this shop to consistently stay in the red… Wiz, please let Vanir have complete control over the store's operation."
"Is Kazuma-san siding with Vanir-san?! Please don't! I can't handle it if you two gang up on me!"
"Please don't say things that will be easily misinterpreted! See, this Perv-tina over here is getting excited!"
"I'm… I'm not!"
While the usual banter was going on, Aqua had already taken her favorite seat by the windows.
"Oi! Wiz, where's the tea?! You're always so slow with the service, how long are you going to make me wait?!"
"This isn't some cafe, and don't treat a high-levelled lich like Wiz in such a manner. It's pitiful to watch."
Despite what I said, Wiz ran to the back of the store and quickly came out with a pot and cups, carrying it all in a service tray.
"I'm sorry for the wait! Here's your tea, Aqua-sama!"
"About time… Pffft…! What's this?! Are you making fun of me?! Think I'm retarded or something?! Don't you even know how to brew tea?! Do it again!"
You just purified it, didn't you?
"Y… Yes! I'm sorry!"
As I was about to discipline this former something-or-other for bullying the gullible Wiz, I felt a tap on my shoulder. When I turned my head, I saw Vanir holding his hand out to me.
"Moi will charge thou 200 eris for that tea."
"I'll pay, but for Vanir to extort me just for tea… Are you guys OK?"
At this point, these two will be in business even after we've all died and gone on to heaven.
"Moi doesn't want thou pity! Just pay up and go flirt with that explosion-addict turned HikiNEET addict as she is clearly craving thou's attention!"
"What nonsense is this devil saying?! That's not true at all! Stop reading my mind already!"
That pretty much confirms it.
To keep Megumin from blowing up the store, Darkness pulled her aside to look at the merchandise.
Vanir coughed once to get my attention back.
"Going back to the topic, moi will not say that the shopkeeper and moi is in desperate need for money. That said, making money is indeed a priority for us. Moi is even thinking about selling the shopkeeper's body. Would thou be interested?"
"Selling Wiz's body, you say? Very well. I'm interested. So will this be a one-time payment or does Vanir want me to pay in installments?"
As I was negotiating with Vanir, I heard the sound of glass breaking behind me.
Megumin had just dropped a crystal ball she was holding.
"Oi, what is Megumin doing?! Sorry, Vanir, just put that on my tab. So, back to our conversation… How much will Vanir sell Wiz's body for?"
"I… I thought I misheard or misunderstood somehow… But what is Kazuma going on about now?! Is Kazuma really cheating on me so soon after he… er, confessed… Ah, a-actually… Please go ahead and do what you want… Haha…"
"M… Megumin! Just because you feel guilty about failing to receive Kazuma's confe… um, that, doesn't mean you should give up so easily!"
Darkness encouraged Megumin who suddenly lost motivation.
G… Guilty?
"What could Megumin be feeling guilty for?! Don't tell me… Megumin has been allowed to drink for a while now… So some kind of accident happened while you were out drinking with a male adventurer, that's what happened?! I'll forgive Megumin as long as that male adventurer didn't put it in anywhere important, so just be honest with me!"
"Ehhh?! Didn't Kazuma just say something ridiculous right now?! How dare you accuse me of cheating! I'm a faithful and principled woman! It's Kazuma I'm worried about! You were just talking about buying Wiz's body just now, weren't you?! I heard it!"
Wiz, who returned with more tea for Aqua, looked over to us when she heard Megumin's words.
"E-Eh? Selling… My body? Has it really come to this? Um... If it's Kazuma-san, I'm fine with that, I suppose…"
"Even Wiz is… Just back off from my man! I thought Wiz wasn't a threat, but I should have known better! Anyone with big boobs is my enemy!"
"How… How could Megumin say that?!"
Darkness exclaimed as she fell into Megumin's definition of an 'enemy'.
To the distressed Megumin, before she came to anymore disturbing conclusions, I said,
"When Vanir said 'sell Wiz's body' I knew right away he didn't mean anything lewd. I won't fall for such cheap flags unlike Megumin. As a long-time victim of Megumin's blue-balling, I know better than to get the wrong idea over some misleading wording."
"Just stop bringing up that blue-balling thing already…"
"And besides, knowing this devil, he is just provoking Megumin to absorb some negative emotions from her."
"As expected of the brat who once fooled even moi, the devil who sees all, thou have read my intentions. Well, enough about that. These feelings of jealousy are quite delicious but I would rather head straight to business."
Wiz raised her hand meekly and said,
"Um… By 'selling my body', Vanir-san is talking about selling my hair and fingernails, which is filled with magic power as I am a Lich, to Kazuma-san, right?"
That's also what I assumed as well. Those 'ingredients' extracted from a Lich sell well in the market as they are rare and highly sought after by mages and magic item crafters.
In that case, I didn't understand why Vanir couldn't just sell those highly-sought after products to real practitioners, as I'm not exactly a mage, myself. Those with an appreciation and need for a specific product would pay more than someone without any interest.
Megumin also doesn't really have an interest in other types of magic outside of explosion magic. The only magic item she is able to craft is an elixir that will cure one from the drowsiness that follows a heavy meal.
"That's not what moi was talking about. Moi is the devil who sees all! Moi knows about thou's despicable plan to raise his stats while exploiting the circumstances of his fellow countrymen. And for that purpose, I offer thou Wiz's valuable services…"
After chuckling to himself, Vanir explained his plan to me.
"...! I… I see!"
Vanir just informed me of something amazing.
"Now that I've explained it to thou… Let us discuss this shopkeeper's hourly rate… And for giving thou this idea, I will also be charging thou for that…"
As Vanir and I hunched close for negotiations, Aqua, who had been idly watching us as she drank tea, said,
"What's all this talk about Wiz selling her body? Who would be interested in that rotting body filled with worms?"
"Mean! Aqua-sama is so mean! I don't have any worms whatsoever!"
Part 3
"I don't really know what Kazuma and Vanir is up to, but it's probably something really scummy."
After visiting Wiz and Vanir, we went home and spent the rest of the afternoon playing games.
"It's none of Darkness's business. By the way, there's no point in spending so much money on health potions since Darkness's character already has maxed out defence. In fact, why don't you spend some points on offensive stats already."
I could say that exact same thing to the real Darkness.
"A Crusader's true calling is to protect their comrades… Although, sometimes having a high defence means that most attacks don't even inflict any pain, which is unfortunate…"
"Your true nature was revealed at the end there."
As Megumin and Darkness's party was heavily unbalanced, they always died and needed to be revived at the last visited church.
Even the slime who joined their party is more reliable than the player controlled characters.
"This is pitiful to watch. Allow me to join your party."
I took a controller and sat between Megumin and Darkness on the couch.
"Fufu. Since Kazuma is still level 1 and has weak stats, allow us veteran adventurer onee-sans to take care of you."
Megumin gave me a wry smile as I created my character and joined their party.
"Oh? That sounds fun. I want to join but I'm in charge of cooking today… I know, I'll order take out instead!"
"Go back to the kitchen. Aqua already skimped out on her duties and ordered take out last time."
"But everyone is having fun…"
Aqua moped as she dragged herself back to the kitchen. Meanwhile, we encountered our first enemy.
"Oooh! It's the enemy that killed us earlier!"
Megumin stood from her seat as she saw three cyclopes' ambush our caravan.
"For us to encounter such strong foes… I will sacrifice myself and buy everyone time to retreat. Don't worry about me!"
"Must Darkness act like her usual rotten self even in a video game?"
With Darkness in the vanguard, the enemy mobs couldn't penetrate our line of defense.
Megumin used up all her mana to take out one of the cyclops. The remaining two are now beating up on Darkness.
All I could do was slowly whittle down on the cyclopes' health with my beginner weapon while Darkness was on perma-guard and Megumin waited for her mana bar to fill up.
Every turn, the slime and I were the only ones doing damage, which didn't amount to much.
"H… How thrilling! I wonder if we'll make it out of this alive?!"
"..."
To first-timers who have never played video games before, the sheer novelty must be plenty exciting.
It's like when 'Pong' first came out and people had their minds blown despite the bleak, minimalist gameplay and visuals.
To me, though, this kind of monotonous grind was way too boring.
It's not like the game was designed as a slow burn, the playstyles of these two are just way too inconvenient in all sorts of ways.
"A… Amazing! The slime managed to land a critical hit! That's a whole ten points of damage!"
"Hmph… We might be able to beat these guys in under half an hour. My mana is also quickly charging up. Our progress is astonishing…"
"Yeah, I'm gonna help Aqua with dinner now. Have fun, you two."
"Eh? Why is Kazuma leaving?! Kazuma is the secondary damage dealer, second only to the slime!"
So the slime is the MVP of this party?
And don't rank me lower than a slime.
I left those two alone as they stayed riveted to the underwhelming gameplay.
Playing as a weak level 1 with a bunch of useless teammates reminded me too much of my days as a rookie adventurer.
Compared to the insane power leveling I have planned, I'm not interested in this slow grind.
Tomorrow I plan to meet with the Japanese reincarnates, and I'm bringing along Wiz and Aqua, just in case things go wrong.
Those two who considered a slime as their main offensive weapon would be useless to my goals. Hopefully they'd get addicted to that game and not insist on coming along with me.
"Kekeke…"
"Why is Kazuma laughing like that?"
As I moved to the kitchen and helped Aqua chop some onions, I couldn't help but chuckle to myself.
"Why work hard when you can have others do the work for you! You will all finally respect me after I attain unimaginable power! Mwahahaha… Ouch."
"Geez… Be careful. I'll heal that for Kazuma, so hold still."
In my excitement, I accidentally cut my finger with the knife.
Part 4
There are many dangerous dungeons in this land.
In Axel alone, there is the infamous Keele's dungeon named after the powerful Arch-Wizard turned Lich who made it, and also the most dangerous dungeon in town, where we fought that Mystic Spider, the Bonekeep dungeon.
"..."
Just thinking about that last dungeon brings back a lot of painful memories.
Those two dungeons caused me a load of problems, and they still don't come close in terms of danger level compared to the largest and most dangerous dungeon in the country.
Known as Blazing Core dungeon, it is the only S+++ ranked dungeon in the country. You could even argue that it is one of the most dangerous locations in the world.
Rumors say that the sheer aura of maliciousness that pervades the dungeon is enough to incapacitate a rookie adventurer.
As if this place wasn't any more intimidating, did I mention that the dungeon is located inside a volcano?
Normally I would never even consider visiting this dungeon, even as a sightseeing tourist. And knowing the type of company I keep around, the girls will surely say dangerous things like 'let's test our mettle in that infamous dungeon!'
But, for the sake of my ingenious plan, I must brave all 20 floors of this terrifying dungeon…
Well, in reality, there's no need for such dramatics. After all, with me is…
"Satou-san! Once again, we would all like to thank you for this opportunity! We won't let you down!"
Right here with me, armed to the teeth with intimidating looking gear and cheat weapons, were the reincarnated Japanese I hired.
"Ah, same here, Kazuma-san! I will make sure to work hard! I will be in your care…"
And although I don't need her combat power this time around, I also have Wiz with me in case things get awry.
"Sigh… Just when I thought our adventuring days are over. Very well. I already know that Kazuma can't do anything without me. Let's do this!"
Oh, yeah. Aqua is here too.
As expected, Darkness and Megumin were too preoccupied grinding up levels in that game and didn't raise a fuss when I told them I'd go on a 'field trip' with Aqua.
I'm out here training to improve myself while those girls are idling away playing video games.
Why can't they be as motivated as me?
Seeing as everyone was gathered, I felt compelled to give a speech,
"Everyone, thanks for coming. As you know, out of the sheer goodness of my heart, I felt the need to provide assistance to my fellow countrymen, as well as one of my good friends who is financially struggling right now…"
"I thought Kazuma is doing this because he's too lazy to get stronger the normal way and decided to exploit these… Hmpph!"
"Well, I'm not really the type to say long speeches, so why don't we go ahead and enter the dungeon already… Haha…"
I quickly covered the mouth of Aqua who was about to say something unnecessary.
The Japanese cheered as they filed in, with Wiz in the lead. Vanir told me that Wiz often comes to this dungeon to gather magical ingredients.
Sometimes she comes here to destress, taking her frustrations out on the monsters. For someone as powerful as Wiz, a dangerous dungeon like this acts as therapy, huh?
"You know, I remember telling Kazuma that I can imagine him using his wealth to pay a bunch of powerful adventurers to fight the devil king, while Kazuma comes in to steal the kill. While the target is not the devil king this time, I didn't think that my prophecy would come true…"
"Can you just shut up already? It's not like I desperately need Aqua to come along. Once I get enough skill points I will invest them in healing, curse break and other priest spells. After today, Aqua will become truly useless."
"How could you even say that?! And I told Kazuma not to take away my purpose for existing! Learning healing spells or any priest spells is banned! I know, why doesn't Kazuma learn explosion or something?! That will score a lot of points with Megumin!"
Desperate to steer my attention from priest spells, Aqua mentioned this alternative to me.
"Um, Aqua-sama, I've been looking at you all this while but you didn't seem to notice me. Hello there, as well, Satou Kazuma."
Approaching us was a good looking Japanese who carried a sword at his back and wore expensive looking armor.
"Who are you again?"
"Are you messing with me?! We were just talking a few days ago, weren't we, Satou Kazuma?! It's me, it's me! Mitsurugi Kyouya!"
"Ah, Katsuragi-san, it's nice to meet you. So you're in need of money too, huh? Times are tough these days. Well, make sure to do a good job for me and I might even give you a little bit extra."
"Well, thanks, but somehow it feels like I'm being looked down upon? Ah, sorry, that might just be my imagination… Right?"
Mitsu-something laughed self-consciously as he rubbed the back of his head.
Even as he was talking to me, he kept glancing at Aqua. Really, what does he see in that girl?
Perhaps I should rent a magic camera and take some photos of Aqua in her natural habitat? That might eliminate any mistaken feelings of admiration.
"Kazuma-san, we're here at the entrance. To advance, we must descend these stairs. There are some hidden traps along these stairs, so please be careful, everyone."
We entered single file. At first I planned to lead at the front since I had detection skills, but Wiz was the only one familiar with this place. She was also powerful enough to take care of any monsters that might ambush us.
"The first level is relatively tame compared to the others. For now, expect some encounters with griffons, wyverns and some lightning birds."
Why are there so many winged monsters in a dungeon?
And what exactly is your definition of 'tame', Wiz?
"Don't worry! Even if it's a flighting bird or whatever, I'll make sure to take care of them all! I'll even flood this whole dungeon if I have to!"
"You'll be doing no such thing. And it's lightning bird, not flighting bird. What kind of redundant existence is that?"
I immediately rebuked Aqua as she was starting to scare the others with all her talk of 'flooding'.
Still…
Wiz casually mentioned that griffons were among the weakest monsters in this dungeon.
I know that I'm surrounded by O.P. individuals but…
...Is this really such a good idea?
Part 5
"[Holy Sword Adrondight]!"
"[Twilight Blade Seraphim]!"
"[Demon Mallet Ragnarok]!"
"Guuuuurrrrr! Guuu…"
The cerberus boss that was guarding the 5th floor fell to its knees after synchronized attacks from all manners of cheat weapons.
I had doubts earlier, but...
...Perhaps bringing all these guys here was a bit overkill.
Nonetheless…
"Let's go, my partner!"
"Guuuu!"
The cerberus let out a final cry as I finished it off with Chunchunmaru.
"Good job, everyone! Hmm… Cerberus fur sells for quite a lot, but…"
Wiz looked at me as if to say 'will you let me have some?'
Since it was a bit awkward to bring up, I hadn't decided how to distribute the loot, yet.
With big monsters like the cerberus, there was enough fur to go around for everyone, even me.
But if some rare, valuable artifact is discovered in a treasure box somewhere, I can really only say 'finders keepers'.
"For now, let's skin the fur and divide it among everyone."
As they set about to doing that, I looked over at my adventurer's card.
Despite stealing kills on a bunch of monsters until now, surprisingly my level hasn't advanced as much as I expected.
It is said that talent and potential plays a major part in how much one gains experience points and levels.
This goes the same way with skill points. Those with high potential can earn at least three skill points upon levelling up. As for the talentless me, I earn one skill point per level.
"Wiz, it's a bit early, but I think we need to do it."
"Oh! OK! Just let me take my share of the fur, here…"
She's really fixated on that fur.
Once Wiz ensured that she got a fair cut of the loot, she set about to fulfill my true reason for hiring her.
Placing her hands on my forehead, she chanted the words for the spell,
"Then… [Level Drain]!"
"...Hgk!"
I felt a slight chill go through me as Wiz's magic invaded my body.
"Tch! I can't handle the sight of this unholy magic… I'm getting the desire to purify this Lich once and for all!"
"Eeep! Please don't do that, Aqua-sama!"
"Oi, Aqua, stop fooling around! We're in the middle of something here!"
Once the procedure was finished, I hurriedly looked at my card once more.
"Phew…"
I couldn't help but sigh in relief.
As Vanir assured me, while my level went down, my stats and skills were unaffected.
All the adventurer's card does is unlock the potential within. Levels are merely a benchmark for how much an individual has progressed.
Since learned skills are already ingrained into the adventurer's DNA, they are exempt from the effects of [Level Drain].
The same thing can be applied to stats, the high luck I was born with or the strength stat I've been steadily increasing with my 'Z*nk*i Boost' training won't suddenly deteriorate.
As for the [Level Drain] skill, Liches are one of the only beings who can use it. Furthermore, this skill is deadly for just about anyone, while I'm the exception due to my unique situation.
If the victim's levels are fully drained and hits 'negative levels', they will die. Of course, Wiz doesn't intend to kill me. And if anything goes wrong, I have Aqua around just in case. For anyone else a serious [Level Drain] means insta-death.
As for why I needed a method to reset my level…
With my limited potential, it will be hard to gain levels no matter how many times I grind. Also, it will be more efficient to keep on levelling from level 1, as beginner adventurers have the benefit of quickly rising in levels.
For reference, I raised three levels as a beginner when I killed those giant toads. Now, imagine this benefit at work as I kill high levelled monsters from an S+++ rank dungeon while constantly resetting.
That's right, it's absurd.
With this method, one can theoretically cultivate skill points infinitely.
"Kekekeke…!"
"Kazuma is making that weird laugh again."
I can't help it.
As a gamer, I can't help but be delighted by exploits like this.
Like accidentally stumbling across a game breaking cheat in a game…
I'm not one of those asshat purists who care about 'immersion' or 'playing the game as the developers intended'.
That's right. This kind of method suits me best.
I've only just resetted my level, so those experience points from the cerberus only raised my level once.
So far, from this dungeon run prior to the reset, I've gone up three levels.
That's not enough for the skill I want to learn!
In order to make this method even more broken, I need way more skill points!
"OK, everyone has their furs now? Let's move on to the next floor!"
"Roger!"
…
...
"Alright, that's good enough for today! Let's continue the rest for tomorrow."
"Eh? Is Satou-san alright with that? We can handle a few more floors."
"No, no, there's no need to force yourselves. And if you sustained any injuries at all, make sure to ask Aqua to heal you. She has yet to make herself useful after all~"
We had just finished floor six.
During that time…
Well.
Let's just say that I have yet to process just how many skill points I earned during that stretch.
This might be weird coming from me, but…
This method just may be too much.
This is getting ridiculous.
With shaking hands, I took out my card again.
I looked at the first skill I learned ever since the reset.
"Gulp…"
I audibly gulped as I looked at this certain skill that will make my method even more broken and abusive.
We didn't want to take the long way back, so I supplied [Scrolls of Teleportation] to everyone.
Once we made it out to the entrance, I made sure to divvy up that day's salary to the Japanese and Wiz.
"Eh? Are you alright with this, Satou Kazuma? This is much more than we agreed upon…"
Mitsu-something said as he looked at the pouch full of Eris I gave him.
"Ah, no… I'm really rich, so it's fine, really! Just helping my fellow countrymen out… Haha…"
"Well, thank you. It might be weird since I'll be using your money to pay, but I'd like to take Satou Kazuma… That is, Kazuma-san, for a drink sometime…"
"Ahaha… You don't need to…"
Stop looking at me like that.
You'll make me feel guilty.
"Aqua-sama is invited too! I'm not sure if the dignified Aqua-sama would like alcohol, though…"
"Hm? Of course I'm interested! You're gonna treat, me, right?"
So that's what you were after, huh?
While those two struck up a conversation, mostly one-sided with Aqua babbling off about her love for alcohol, Wiz came up to me carrying a bag filled with furs and other miscellaneous loot. She said,
"Thanks to Kazuma-san, the landlord won't yell at me this month. Again, thank you! So, I will see Kazuma-san here again tomorrow?"
"Ah, well, I might not even be present tomorrow…"
"Eh? Are we not going to do a dungeon raid tomorrow?"
"I still want to grind levels using this dungeon, but…"
"Um… I have a feeling that Kazuma-san is up to something not good…?"
Well, in my eyes, it was very good.
Part 6
"Hm? Who are these little guys. Don't they resemble Kazuma? They're actually quite cute."
Megumin said as she examined my handiwork.
"These are golems I created with the [Golem Creation] skill. For some reason, these chibis happen to take on my looks. Actually, don't they resemble Vanir's dolls? Hey, I don't want Megumin touching them so much. Even though they resemble me, somehow I'm getting the feeling of NTR."
I snatched the golem away from Megumin who was getting all touchy-feely with it.
If you're going to do that, do so with the real thing. I'm right here.
"I heard that Kazuma is currently undergoing a rather unique training regiment. If he learned the [Golem Creation] skill so fast, that must mean it's working well."
"Yeah… It's working pretty well…"
Though it's about to get even better.
"So why did Kazuma learn [Golem Creation] to start with? They have decent attack power but they don't have a lot of offensive uses. If you're just looking for decoys, we already have Darkness to fulfill that role."
"I heard that!"
Darkness was reading a book when she heard Megumin's diss.
She was sitting upright like a prim and proper ojou-sama. After closing her book and gently placing it on an accent table, she said,
"Kazuma already has a bunch of dubious skills. Isn't it about time he learned a proper offensive skill? Even Kazuma's main offensive skill is just a basic archery skill."
"I don't want to hear that from this fake Crusader who can't land a hit on a stationary target."
"Why you…! Eh? The Kazuma dolls are piling on top of me?! Hey, make them stop… Ah. This is… um… Please don't be so rough… Hehe."
This unrepentant pervert is actually blushing as my golems hop onto her.
"Hmph. Mock my golems all you want for now, but once you see their true purpose, I wonder if you'll continue to mock them so… Fufu."
"Cool! Kazuma is acting so cool right now! Almost like a member of my clan!"
For Megumin to praise me like that while looking at me with sparkling eyes.
Was… Was I really acting that chuuni?
Which reminds me, I've yet to give that gift to her.
Maybe tonight I will pull her aside for a talk.
As Darkness's attention was on my minions, I grabbed a piece of scrap paper and hurriedly scrawled on it.
After I discreetly handed my message to her, Megumin read it and blushed.
Giving me a quick nod of affirmation, she folded the scrap paper, then tucked it in the pocket of her pajama bottoms.
"..." x 2.
We stared at each other silently.
"Ehehehe… The little Kazumas are…"
Meanwhile, Darkness seems to be having the time of her life.
Part 7
...At the adventurer's guild.
"Hm? Aniki seems to be in a good mood today. Did something good happen?"
One of the members of the 'Aniki Initiative' asked me this. I couldn't stop grinning while thinking about my appointment with Megumin.
Right now, I am having lunch with the former delinquents I was once tasked with rehabilitating. After our run-in with the Mystic Spider, these guys kept working hard as adventurers under my guidance.
Well, I've been neglecting them recently, but that's because these homos who have a thing for me got all agitated once they found out that Megumin and I have started dating.
"Don't mind that. I called you here today because I have work for you all…"
I took out a Kazu-doll, as Megumin insisted I call them, and placed it on the table.
"...! This is… A chibi aniki?! How cute! I want to hug it and squeeze it and glomp it~!"
"I want to take baths with it!"
"I want to turn it into a real boy…"
I'm starting to regret coming to these guys.
Ignoring their comments, I said,
"Recently you guys have become strong adventurers. Apparently, since you guys train on a nearly daily basis, your levels are actually pretty high now. Anyways, I want you all to go to a dungeon or wherever else you guys usually grind, and take this golem with you… Then, fight the monsters as usual, but I want you all to shave off the monster's health until it can't fight back anymore, without killing it, then let this little one deal the finishing blow."
Fufu.
Yes, this was the plan.
As it was created with my skill, an attack from this golem counts as my attack.
A finishing blow it deals also counts as my finishing blow.
"Of course, for your efforts, I'm willing to pay you all handsomely."
"A kiss from aniki is fine~! We don't need money, just a little love and attention from aniki~! Chuuuuu~!"
"..."
I quickly left once my business with them was done with.
After that, I contacted all the adventurers I knew in town who wanted to make some money, which was most of them. After negotiations, I told them the same thing I told the guys from the 'Aniki initiative' and handed each party a golem.
I also contacted my fellow Japanese.
"Eh? You want us to split up?"
They didn't seem to understand what was going on, but dutifully listened.
"It's overkill with all of you guys together. Even the monsters from that dungeon don't stand a chance. I reckon one party of four will suffice for that dungeon. The rest will go to other dungeons."
After dividing them up in parties, I sent them all to various high-leveled dungeons in the country, giving them [Scrolls of Teleportation] for instantaneous travel.
My plan should be obvious now.
Hire as many people as possible and form a monster slaying network, then give each group a Kazu-doll, which will deal the killing blow to said monsters.
With this arrangement, I don't even have to do any work.
I can just have Wiz continuously cast [Level Drain] on me while I relax.
Fufufu…
Vanir might have given me the idea, but I'm the one who took it to the fabulous heights it's reached.
Maybe I really am a genius?
With this, Vanir's idea of infinitely cultivating skill points is actually feasible.
There is always a surplus of adventurers needing jobs, and I am more than happy to provide. With my riches, I can pay more than the average adventurer's guild.
Even without Wiz constantly resetting my level, if I just leave my network be, I will still steadily earn levels until the cap is reached.
Then I will come to Wiz for a reset.
"Aren't we supposed to be dungeon raiding right now? I'm all fired up! I want to talk to that Mitsu-something guy too! He's a way better listener than Kazuma and showers me with praises even when I don't ask for them!"
Get a clue already.
Right now, I'm visiting Wiz's store with Aqua.
Speaking of whom…
"Um, Kazuma-san? Is this 'lap pillow' really necessary...?"
"Yes, it's very necessary. I heard that direct skin contact will increase the effectiveness of touch based magic. We should make as much skin contact as we possibly can. Wiz should just be grateful that I'm not resting my head elsewhere. As a faithful man who already has Megumin, I will settle for Wiz's lap pillow."
"That makes sense… Um, I guess?"
I have been laying on Wiz's lap as she casts [Level Drain] on me. While rapidly cultivating skill points, I leisurely sip on the finest wine and relax on her cool lap.
"OK, let's take a five minute breather, Wiz. By the way, should I learn the [Dragon Tamer] skill? I once saw Dust tame a wyvern and now I can learn the skill too, apparently."
"What is Kazuma talking about… Ehh?! How is Kazuma increasing in levels even while he's lazing around?! Is that a glitch! Is Kazuma's card somehow glitching?!"
Aqua snatched the card I had been monitoring. Everytime my level goes up, I ask Wiz to cast [Level Drain] on me.
"I could explain my perfect plan to Aqua, but that would just be a waste of time… Oi! Give that back! What the hell did you just make me learn?! Don't tell me it's [Nature's Beauty]?!"
Part 8
I finally let Wiz go for the night. I considered learning the [Level Drain] skill from her, but apparently you can't do something as absurd as draining your own levels.
After finishing dinner, Darkness and Megumin went back to playing that game. Even though they've been playing for several hours now, their characters are still low-leveled.
"Amazing! Slime-kun learned 'Mid-heal' when he levelled up! As expected of Slime-kun!"
"Not only is Slime-kun our most reliable DPS, he even has support skills… Simply fantastic! As expected of Slime-kun!"
They're still treating that run-of-the-mill slime like some kind of badass.
Though I didn't have any interest in playing with these RPG newbies, I did want to start a new game by myself. For now, I played fighting games with Aqua.
"God blowwwww! Eh? How did Kazuma dodge that?!"
"Aqua's too predictable. There's no way I'll keep falling for the same tricks."
As I thought, Aqua's ability to pick up weird talents allowed her to learn the mechanics and combos of her character almost immediately.
However, even with that…
She's still retarded.
She falls for the most basic feints and can't seem to figure out any winning strategies by herself.
It's unfortunate that her stats are already maxed out, since her intelligence has no chance of increasing.
We played for a few more hours until bedtime.
When it was my turn to use the bath, as I soaked in the warm water, my thoughts naturally drifted to my meeting with Megumin.
Wait a minute… This kind of scenario is…
Anxiously ruminating in the bath just before a night-time meeting with Megumin.
Last time, since I stalled too much, our rendezvous was interrupted by Chris.
After that, the mood became awkward with Megumin as she kept finding excuses to postpone the meeting.
"..."
W-Well, I think we've improved since then and we're no longer as clumsy or awkward.
As I got out of the bath and changed into my tracksuit, I felt for the small box I kept inside my pants pocket.
This is the gift I bought from heaven.
Inside the box is a ring adorned with a dragon emblem. When I saw it, I knew right away that it'd make the perfect gift for Megumin.
It has a chuuni design, after all.
While looking at this ring, I was suddenly reminded of a memory from the past…
When I was in elementary school, a female classmate once gave me obligatory chocolate for Valentines day.
Since I was very appreciative of her kind gesture, I splurged a bit on her White Day present and bought a ring that was quite expensive, at least, for a kid.
I thought it was a good gift until the night before White Day. I started having all kinds of thoughts about how this girl might get the wrong idea if I gave her expensive looking jewelry.
Surely, I will be teased if she decides to gossip about it, I thought.
After a restless night, in the end, I didn't give her the ring and ended up giving her sweets I bought on the way to school. Instead, I refunded the ring and bought a game for myself.
"..."
Wait a minute.
The reason why I remembered that embarrassing memory from the past…
I took out the small box and looked at it.
While the ring itself in no way resembled a wedding ring, there's always the possibility of a misunderstanding!
Before I could start worrying, however…
"Crap! I did it again! I wasted all this time in the bath!"
Once I was dressed, so as to avoid any more delays, I went out from the bathroom and headed straight to Megumin's room.
Part 9
"Ah, Kazuma. You sure took your time. Well, come in."
"T… Thanks…"
Megumin greeted me in her pajamas. She moved aside to let me in, and softly closed the door behind her.
I don't have many chances to visit Megumin's room. Our nightly routine of chatting together while laying in bed occurred exclusively in my room, with Megumin coming over to visit.
Speaking of which, we haven't had any of those nightly talks recently after I called them a 'blue-balling torture'.
While those nightly visits that don't lead anywhere were indeed a punishment for my balls, I truly missed those late hours chatting with Megumin.
"Hm? Why is Kazuma just standing there? Come sit here with me."
Megumin was already sitting on her bed. She patted the mattress, urging me to sit.
"Now, what is it that Kazuma wanted to talk about? Could it be that Kazuma got the sudden desire to say his confession out loud? Ah, not that I had any problems receiving Kazuma's written confession by the way! Haha!"
Megumin is laughing awkwardly for some reason.
"Out loud…? I thought I was already pretty clear about it. What, did Megumin miss a couple lines because the ink started running in the bath, or something?"
"Ehhh?! How did Kazuma…?! I mean, no, not at all… I read all of it! Haha…"
Seeing Megumin act like this, I couldn't help but laugh.
"What's Kazuma laughing about?!"
Really… Why was I freaking out about that gift?
I already revealed my embarrassing feelings in my confession. Megumin already received them.
I should only be freaking out if Megumin hadn't received my confession for whatever reason, but obviously, she did.
But now that she understands how I feel, there's no way she'd freak out over one simple gift, despite the implications.
So, what am I feeling awkward about?
Megumin has already received my confession!
Read every little bit of it!
Yup, so there's no problem at all.
With that conviction, I reached into my pockets.
"Ah, crap."
Since I got excited, I accidently dropped it.
"Oh, whoops, sorry."
I went down on one knee to retrieve it.
"..."
As I looked up, I saw Megumin looking at me blankly.
It was then that I realized the kind of position I was in.
On one knee.
With a small, black box in my hand.
"..." x 2.
We stared at each other for a while.
"Eh?! Did you hear that, Megumin?! I heard some kind of strange noise from outside! Perhaps a female thief is breaking in again?!"
"What is Kazuma going on about now?"
I could really use a convenient interruption right now!
Before I could stop her, Megumin leaned down and took the box from my hand.
"Well, I know better than to come to the wrong conclusion. Despite what Kazuma said the other day, I can see through misunderstandings and cliched flags like this. There's no way that there'll be a ring or any… such… thing… in… side…"
Her voice trailed off as she opened the box.
"..." x 2.
Suddenly, I felt the air shift around me.
She started chanting a familiar spell…!
"...! Wait, Megumin! Why is your first instinct to fire explosion?! I know that Megumin always panics in unexpected situations, but try to calm down!"
"How can I calm down?! What kind of prank is this?! Kazuma is always talking about how much he hates cliched situations, but he goes ahead and does this?!"
"Why is Megumin reacting so strongly, anyways?! Say that I really did propose, would I receive this kind of reaction?! This is too much!"
"We haven't even been dating for a month, why is Kazuma talking about marriage?! Have you been brainwashed by my mother or something?! Who put you up to this!"
"That's right, it's weird for me to propose since Megumin hasn't even let me do anything couple-like yet! Didn't Megumin say something about letting me do some basic couple-like stuff if we become 'more than friends, less than lovers'?! What happened to that!"
"Oh, so Kazuma likes that idea now, huh?! I remember how Kazuma really hated that idea when I proposed… um, I mean, suggested it, then he went on to ramble about how he was a 'redpilled Alpha', or something!"
After finishing our respective tirades, we glared at each other while breathlessly panting. Her face was flushed livid and she gritted her teeth a little.
Once I was able to speak without hyperventilating, I said,
"Is what I'm saying really so unreasonable? Megumin and I are dating now, right? Is something so tame like holding hands and cuddling really forbidden?"
"...I'm not saying it's forbidden."
Oh?
That was my cue, wasn't it?
"So, I have Megumin's permission, right? You won't start casting explosion as soon as I lay a hand on you?"
"Just how badly does Kazuma think of me? I have some self-control. I won't freak out over something so simple."
"You freaked out over the ring, though."
"Ugh… Yeah, well… Thanks for the gift, by the way. It looks really cool. A dragon, huh…? Indeed, this shall fit me well…"
"I see. I made a good choice, then. Does Megumin want me to put the ring on for her?"
"No. Don't do that. Stop teasing me already. I'll do it myself."
She slipped the ring on and it fit perfectly. She held it up to the light and admired it.
"Ooh! There's a small manatite gem inside! This is really a spectacular ring!"
As Megumin was admiring the ring, I sat down again on the bed.
"I'm glad Megumin likes it. Now, come over here and sit on my lap. I'm ready to molest… I mean, cuddle, Megumin."
"See?! This is why I'm hesitant to give Kazuma permission to do anything! I give Kazuma a little bit of room and you go ahead and try all sorts of stunts!"
"I'm waiting."
"..."
She stared coldly at me for a while until she finally sighed and made her way to me.
"I'm not sitting on Kazuma's lap or anything. And remember, the only touching I will permit is cuddling and hand holding! Touching of any lewd areas is strictly forbidden!"
"Yeah, yeah. You must think I'm some kind of super-pervert. Don't worry, just trust me."
"...Well, I suppose I should give Kazuma the benefit of the doubt. After all, Kazuma is… Wait, what are you doing?!"
"Hm? What is Megumin talking about? I'm just cuddling with you."
"Yeah, but this is… Nn!"
Indeed, I was just cuddling with Megumin.
With one arm around her shoulders, I am in no way touching any lewd area, as promised.
"OK, and now… For the handholding."
I grasped one of Megumin's hands and held it in my own.
"Waaa~… Kazuma is… Stop it with the lewd movements already!"
"What is Megumin complaining about? Where exactly am I touching, hm? My arms are around your shoulder and I'm holding your hand. I'm not touching anywhere lewd. If you have any complaints, say it clearly or I won't understand."
"Kazuma isn't touching anywhere lewd but… Nn! The way Kazuma is touching me is very lewd! Please stop with the lewd movements!"
Lewd movements?
What could she be talking about?
I'm really not touching anywhere lewd.
I'm merely squeezing her hand, rubbing my fingers along her palm, caressing her soft skin, pressing tightly as I wrap my arms around her, grabbing tight onto her shoulders, and occasionally sniffing her hair.
"OK, that's it! That's quite enough! Thanks for the gift and for coming over, Kazuma! I'm also glad we had a bit of skinship! Now… Please leave!"
I was not-so-subtly kicked out of Megumin's room.
Fufu.
What an innocent maiden, getting flustered from just that.
While chuckling to myself, I headed to my room.
"..."
Wait, what am I so happy about?
I was able to get some harassment… I mean, some skinship in, but nothing happened, as usual.
Even though the progression may seem like a lot, in the end, all I could do was hold and tease Megumin a little.
"...Time to visit the succubus shop, I guess."
…
...
Chapter 23 END
Next chapter: Granting Nobility to this Undeserving Scumbag!