Chapter 30: Scheming with this Double-crossing Devil King Army General!
Editing and Proofreading: LordVTP and Marv
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Part 1
The ceremony to officially award our noble titles commenced shortly after our return from Elroad.
I was coached by a strict instructor during the dress rehearsal, namely Darkness, so I didn't have any issues with going along with the formalities.
After the ceremony, there was a celebratory feast, which served to commemorate both our ascension to noble status and our success at renewed diplomatic relations with Elroad.
After the dinner ended, the dance hall was opened for socialization. This was the most important stage of the festivities for the nobles in attendance.
Darkness was popular as always, but now that the rest of the party had been made nobles…
"Greetings, Kazuma-dono. I am the head of the Firestead family. I'd like to introduce you to my youngest daughter, Charlotte…"
"Kazuma-dono! Have you met my daughter, Beryl, yet?"
"If Kazuma-dono is not interested in noble ladies, perhaps the beautiful maids of our employ will please Kazuma-dono?"
I was bombarded by all kinds of marriage offers.
"Sorry, but he's not interested."
Megumin came in between the nobles and me. She held out her hand and glared at them.
They retreated from her, not wanting to incur her wrath.
She turned to me and looked at me suspiciously.
"Megumin is too paranoid. I wasn't tempted at all."
"Jiiiiii…"
I averted my eyes from her stare.
"It's common in this world for noblemen to take on many wives, you know? Hey, Megumin, Kazuma is surely the type of guy to wish for a harem, so watch out for this one."
Aqua barged in and rested her arm on my shoulder as she bit on a leg of meat, the meat juice spilling on my clothes. I shrugged her off.
"That's why I'm keeping an eye on him. I know about the customs of nobility, but remember what I told you about sticking to your roots, Kazuma."
"Why does this girlfriend who hasn't even kissed me yet or done anything ero with me yet feel so entitled to hawk over me like this? If you're going to go all yandere on me, then at least show me a bit of affection!"
It was Megumin's turn to go on the defensive.
"Ah, well… I get what Kazuma's trying to say, but there's things like mood and atmosphere and timing to consider, so…"
"Why is this girl who, just last week, was cheerily hunting rodents and all sorts of disgusting roadkill then making dishes out of them, acting like a maiden all of a sudden? Oi, the tomboy who said 'as long as you boil it, the germs will go away', tell me what gives you the right to act all shy right now!"
"W-Well, that is…!"
"Now, now, Kazuma, have some mercy on this Megumin."
Aqua sighed as she wagged her leg of meat, spilling even more of its juice on my clothes.
I really wished Aqua would stop wagging her meat at me.
"Onii-sama, are you enjoying the festivities?"
Iris, wearing a pretty dress, came over to us and gave a wide smile.
The good mood she had during our return trip still remained.
"Yesh! The food is great as always!"
"Um… Aqua-san, the feast has already ended, so why did you bring a leg of meat to the dance hall?"
Aside from servers offering guests with trays containing light, after-dinner dessert treats, the dinner portion of the evening had already ended. Still, Aqua was going back into the kitchen and taking random slabs of meat with her to the dance hall.
"Oi, if you don't watch yourself, Aqua will get fat again."
"Don't… Don't bring that up! I get it, this will be the last one for tonight, so don't bully me, OK?!"
Perhaps remembering the intense exercise she had to go through to lose weight before, Aqua looked panicked as she sulkily placed the meat down.
I felt a tug on my sleeve. Iris leaned over to me.
"Would onii-sama perhaps like to dance?"
She gestured to the dance floor, where the other nobles were doing some kind of waltz.
"I don't think I'd be good at that kind of thing..."
I felt a shove from behind. Megumin was grinning at me.
"Come on, Kazuma. Give your little sister what she wants!"
"Hm, maybe this well help. Versatile Entertainer!"
Aqua casted a weird spell on me while waving the leg of meat like a wand.
Despite my reservations, I couldn't resist Iris's request and ended up following her to the dance floor.
The other nobles made room for us, and I felt multiple sets of eyes on me.
"Don't be so nervous, onii-sama. Let's just have fun, OK?"
The band was playing a fast song, but perhaps they sensed the mood and switched to a slow paced song.
I gently placed my right hand on Iris's waist and held her other hand with my left. She stood on her tiptoes to compensate for the height difference.
"Onii-sama had his reservations, but you're dancing to the beat. I'm impressed!"
The song was slow enough that I only had to shuffle my feet along with the deliberate beat. And maybe Aqua's spell was influencing me somehow.
"I'm glad Iris is happy."
She giggled. We danced for a few more songs. Megumin wanted to try, too.
"Ow. Megumin, don't step on my toes."
"Sorry… This is pretty hard, isn't it?"
She wasn't much of a dancer, though.
"I want to try, too!"
Aqua really hated being left out. Megumin stepped aside and let Aqua take her place.
I sighed as I placed my arm around Aqua's waist.
"Hey, Aqua is actually really good at this?!"
I was a bit impressed.
"Fufu. Of course, the talented me excels in all sorts of things!"
"Yeah, Aqua is surprisingly good at useless things."
"I don't want to hear that from this guy who only knows weird skills."
From the way Darkness was looking at us from afar, it seemed like she wanted a turn, too, but she had her hands full with the nobles vying for her attention.
Later on, she'd spend the rest of the evening complaining to me for leaving her out.
Part 2
Aqua was wailing about wanting to go back to Axel during the Elroad trip, but the luxurious lifestyle we enjoyed living as guests in the Belzerg royal palace effectively changed her mind.
"We can stay here for a bit, but let's take care not to intrude too much."
Darkness warned her even as Aqua lazed around, sitting on a sofa with a bottle of high-quality wine in her hands.
Aqua glanced at Darkness after swigging a gulp of the wine. She wiped her lips and said,
"Yeah, yeah. I don't plan on mooching off the old man for too long. I'm starting to get homesick, too."
Darkness stared at Aqua in suspicion for a while, but decided to let the matter drop in the end.
"By all means, please, stay as long as you like."
The king entered the room with a wide smile on his face. He was more than satisfied with our negotiation efforts.
Following after him was Prince Jatis.
"Careful what you say to Aqua, Your Majesty. She'll stay here as an unwanted guest for the rest of her life if you let her. For birds like her, you need to force her out of the nest or you won't be able to get rid of her."
"That's rich, coming from the former NEET."
The king laughed at our bickering.
"Well, I don't know about staying here forever, but we don't mind having Kazuma-chan and his friends around. Hmm… Speaking of Kazuma-chan, we received another invitation from that fan club of yours again…"
"I know what you're trying to do. Your Majesty is trying to entice me to do something for him again, right?"
Last time, he produced a picture of this 'Satou Kazuma Fan Club' and showed it to me in an attempt to convince me to take the trip to Elroad.
"I'm not trying to get you to do anything this time, but they keep sending these letters and postcards here and my servants are getting annoyed, so do something about them, please."
He handed me the letter.
"Hmm… Perhaps I should make a 'Princess Iris Fan Club'..."
Jatis was saying something disturbing.
I didn't want any more perverts gathering to admire Iris. Having Jatis and Claire around to ogle her was already too much.
"Kazuma isn't actually thinking of visiting that fan club of his, right? I'll go ahead and ask them to stop bothering Kazuma myself…"
"By that, Megumin is saying 'I'll go over there and blow them up', or something along those lines, right? Oi, it's only natural for women to admire the me who's been pulling off heroic feats lately, so don't blame them. Good grief, I've become a sinful man."
"Saying all this after Kazuma promised that he wouldn't cheat…!"
Megumin looked sincerely dismayed.
"Oi, I'm just joking. I already said that I'm not the kind of guy who wants a harem. That said, it feels kind of cruel to just tell these people to stop, so I should at least give them a visit. If Megumin is that worried, you can come with me."
"I'm curious as to what type of deranged person would actually be interested in Kazuma, so count me in!"
"...Did Aqua just imply that I was deranged?"
"Is Megumin not aware? Wait… Urk!"
"Don't fight in front of His Majesty, you two!"
As usual, Darkness had to act as the stop-gap as Megumin tried to strangle Aqua.
"Ohohoho! Kazuma-chan's party is as entertaining as always!"
The king let out a hearty laugh.
I really wish he'd stop calling me 'Kazuma-chan'.
…
…
The 'Satou Kazuma Fan Club' didn't have an official building. They rented a conference room every Wednesday from 4:00 pm to 7:00 pm.
Luckily, it was a Wednesday. After a morning spent lazing around, we went to the fan club's venue before the meeting could start.
Megumin came to supervise me, Aqua came so she could ridicule me, and Darkness came to make sure we didn't cause too much trouble.
"Hey, wouldn't it cause quite a commotion if Kazuma comes goes unannounced?"
Just before we could enter the building, Darkness said something we hadn't thought of.
"It should be fine. It's like one of those reality TV segments where a popular idol shows up to the surprise of common-folk."
"Kazuma, you're actually enjoying this, aren't you?"
Aqua shot me an accusatory glare.
"Most of these girls probably don't have romantic feelings and such for me, you know? Most of them are probably just fans of my work. What's wrong with wanting to meet your fans, and in turn, interact with them?"
"I'd believe it if it were any guy other than Kazuma saying it, but I know that your first reaction to seeing the picture of this fan club was 'Oho. A group of busty beauties who adore me. Hehe'. It was something like that."
"Where did that creepy 'hehe' come from?"
While Aqua and I were bickering, we arrived at conference room.
It was still empty inside, as the club hadn't arrived yet.
"We could at least set up for them."
Darkness said, as she grabbed a pile of folding chairs stacked against the wall, and started setting them up.
"Despite being a noble, this one likes to do things like hard labor, huh?"
"...I don't even know what Kazuma is implying there. Should I interpret that as an insult or a compliment?"
"I bet Kazuma is saying that Darkness is a girl with muscles for brains who's addicted to using her muscles to do hard labor…"
"No, that came entirely out of Aqua's mouth."
We couldn't go a single minute without bickering, but this just the usual for us.
A few minutes after we had finished setting up, the door opened. Women wearing matching T-Shirts that had 'I wuv Satou-sama' printed on the front started entering the room.
"...! Wait, isn't that…!"
"Hello. It's me. Everyone's Satou Kazuma."
I posed and said these pretentious lines a big-shot male idol would say.
"..."
There was a pause.
"KYAAAAAAA!"
Their shrill cries made us cover our ears.
After they calmed down, they took their seats while intensely gazing at me.
"To think that Satou-sama would actually come visit us here! We are not worthy!"
Their fanaticism was already starting to overwhelm me.
"Kazuma-sama! Please sign this!"
"Please sign my 'I wuv Satou Kazuma-sama' T-Shirt!"
"This is a custom-made Kazuma-sama 'toy'. Please sign it. Ah, please don't press that button, or the 'toy' will vibrate."
It turned into a signing event.
While Darkness was facilitating the peace and order of the passionate fan club members, I noticed a woman who wore priest robes. She had positioned herself all the way at the back of the line.
She caught my attention not only from her priest robes, which stuck out among the other fan club members who were wearing those creepy t-shirts, but her indifferent, almost cold demeanor and countenance contrasted with the stifling enthusiasm of the other club members.
Her impassive and neutral face resembled that of a doll's or a marionette.
When I looked closer, the picture the king showed me of the fan club resurfaced in my mind.
I remembered taking note of her for the reason that she stood out among the others, as well as her beautiful features…
Megumin followed my gaze.
"Kazuma. I see you noticed her too. There's something suspicious about that woman. I can just feel it…"
Did she really notice anything, or was this just her usual chuuni in play?
Aqua also had something to say.
"I'm suspicious about that woman, too, Kazuma! There's no way any self-respecting priest would associate with Kazuma, least of all, join his fanclub…"
Darkness tilted her head at Aqua.
"Um… But isn't Aqua an Arch-Priest who not only associates with Kazuma, but is heavily involved with him?"
"Eh? Gahh!"
I would stop associating with this useless Arch-Priest, if I could help it.
Midway through signing the strange items the fan club members were handing to me, I recognized these products as originally distributed by my very own Kazu-Mall. They even had the brand logo.
I took on a very loose approach to running that company. I was CEO in name only and let my business partner, Maxim, handle pretty much all of the day-to-day work.
But maybe I should observe their operations more carefully if they were producing strange products like this, which bore my liking and resemblance.
At last, I reached the end of the line. It was finally the woman wearing a priest robe's turn.
"Greetings. My name is Serena. I'm glad to finally meet you, Kazuma-sama."
The friendly smile she showed now started to make me think that the impassive look she wore before was just my imagination.
"It's nice to meet you too, Serena-san."
"Just Serena is fine."
She was quite forward.
She handed me the picture of the fan club, the same one they sent a copy to me of.
I got an idea after signing it.
"Say, why don't I rent a magic camera and we can take a picture with everyone?"
"Kyaaa~! We're so lucky! Thank you, Kazuma-sama!"
"Can you make a signed copy for everyone?!"
I ended up having to sign things for another half an hour.
Part 3
We only spent a few more days in the capital before we decided it was time to head home.
I spent much of the remaining time playing with Iris and enjoying the attractions of the capital.
Finally, it was time to go home.
"Be sure to write and visit again, onii-sama."
"Un. Take care, Iris. And if you receive any erotic love letters from Revi, make sure to tell me and I'll head over there to discipline him."
We said our goodbyes and then headed to the teleportation shop.
Needing to rely on shops and scrolls is fine since I have money, but learning the Teleportation spell would be convenient.
I thought about having Yunyun teach me the spell when we got back home.
We saw a familiar face when we arrived at the shop.
"Oh? If it isn't Kazuma-sama and others."
Serena was also in the teleportation shop.
She held a ticket in her hand.
"Is Serena-san planning to take a trip somewhere?"
"I have some personal business in Axel, actually."
Megumin peered at Serena suspiciously.
"It seems awfully convenient that you have personal business in Axel just as we're about to head home…"
It wasn't as if the world revolved around us. I wanted to tell Megumin this.
Serena struck me as a somewhat mysterious woman, but I didn't know why the others seemed to think there was more to her than that.
And Aqua's reasoning of 'there's no way a priest can be a fan of Kazuma', is the most unreasonable of them all.
"Sorry about my comrades here. Would Serena-san like us to guide her around Axel?"
Unlike Megumin and Aqua, Darkness didn't have any overt suspicions of her own.
"Oh, my. Thanks for the offer. Please take care of me, Kazuma-sama…"
"Um, but I'm the one who made the offer, not Kazuma…"
Darkness was ignored by Serena, who bowed to me.
We were the only ones using the teleportation service, so we gathered in the circle without delay.
...In a matter of seconds, we were taken to Axel.
"Home sweet home! ...Is what I want to say, but life in the palace is much more fulfilling."
"By 'fulfilling' Aqua meant that it's a comfortable, stress-free life where every personal whim of yours is taken care of by the servants, right?"
Darkness saw through Aqua's BS immediately.
"Oh, isn't that Kazuma and everyone? Whoa! Who's this babe?!"
We were harassed by a delinquent as soon as we stepped out of the teleportation shop.
"Wait, isn't this Dust? Sorry, I mistook you for a no-good delinquent."
"No, Kazuma, this fellow is a no-good delinquent."
Megumin had a scathing assessment of Dust.
"Yunyun is right. This crazy explosion girl is quite the bully isn't she? Anyways, Kazuma, who's this beautiful lady you have here?!"
Dust usually had a sloppy posture, but he straightened his back as soon as he saw Serena.
"Greetings. Are you Kazuma-sama's friend? My name is Serena, a travelling priest of sorts."
I thought she would introduce herself as a member of the Satou Kazuma Fan club, but I guess Serena-san wasn't as crazed or uninhibited as the other members.
Serena proved herself as an exemplary priest as she tolerated Dust's chit-chat and answered all his questions.
She made sure to brush off his sexual harassment, though.
"I see. So Serena-san has some business here. Since Serena-san is new in town, maybe I can show you around? For example, she could come over to my abode…"
Which abode was he talking about? The horse stables or his personal jail cell?
"Thank you very much, but Kazuma-sama and his companions have already offered to give me a tour of the town."
"Ah, then let me come with you!"
"Err…"
Get a clue already.
Dust ended up following us around as we showed Serena around all the places of import in Axel.
"For all your daily necessities, please visit the Kazu-mall."
"Why is Kazuma advertising his business?"
The tour ended after we showed Serena the Adventurer's Guild.
"Serena is a priest, right? I don't know how long you're planning to stay here, but if you need some extra cash, I'm sure there's a lot of parties who'd want the services of a priest."
"Then, in that case, won't Kazuma-sama let me join his party?"
Serena made this rather direct request all with an unwavering smile.
"Hey, I don't know if you're talented or what, but this party already has an Arch-Priest, OK? Why don't you go join that table full of former delinquents who have a hard on for Kazuma and form a party with them instead? I'm sure you'll get along with them since you all adore Kazuma for some reason. You can even start calling him 'aniki' like they do."
Aqua got all defensive when another priest tried to join the party.
Megumin was also not impressed with Serena's request.
"Yeah, I'm sorry. We can't set that kind of precedent. If we get two Priests, then wouldn't we be advertising to a certain lonely girl that we'd accept another Mage despite already having one, specifically, myself? And once that certainly lonely girl joins, wouldn't a certain loli princess get weird ideas about joining us, too? What I'm saying is, I don't want any potential rivals swaying my man here, so please consider going somewhere else."
It seems I was still kept on a tight leash.
"Well, that's quite unfortunate, but I'm not in any hurry to make money. Rather, as a travelling priest, I focus more on doing charity work than on making money from adventuring."
Aqua tilted her head.
"Charity work? You mean that thing the Eris church does where they give away bread to the poor, and then I sabotage them by casting water magic on all the bread supplies?"
"I'm pretty sure that last part doesn't have anything to do with 'charity' at all. Also, don't do that again if you value your allowance money at all."
"Wahh! I'm sorry!"
I noted to myself that I should send the local Eris church a substantial donation for all the problems Aqua causes.
As we entered the guild, Serena's eyes wandered around at the patrons.
"Oh? Sir, that scar you have there, it looks fairly new. I'm a priest who knows healing magic. Would you like me to heal it?"
"...! Will you really? Then, please do!"
Serena went over to that gentleman, laid a hand over his scar, and healed it.
"Ah. So that's what a real priest is like, huh?"
"Doing selfless works like that, so that's what a real priest is like..."
"For some reason I have this image in my head that all priests do all day is drink and eat. So this is what a real priest is like."
The adventurers in the guild seemed to have developed a distorted impression of priests because of a certain irresponsible one in my party.
After Serena healed the scar, she looked at the other adventurers who were looking towards her in wonder.
"Oh, my. There seems to be a lot of adventurers here who are suffering from injuries. If you don't mind, I'd like to heal all the injured…"
"Wah! So kind! So dignified! So this is what a real priest is like!"
"Real priests are so admirable!"
"I'm so glad we have a real priest around!"
Aqua was in a panic as she looked at the adventurers who were shouting their praises for Serena.
"Oi, stop saying 'real priest', 'real priest' already! Haven't you already been basking in the great me all this time?! Oi, you plebeians, pay attention to me!"
"I don't think a real priest would refer to themselves as 'the great me', or call others 'plebeians'."
"Kazuma-san! Don't tell me you're siding with them? Hey, you guys…!"
Darkness only gave Aqua a blank look.
"Perhaps you'll take Serena-san's example and improve your conduct, Aqua."
"Gahhh!"
Part 4
A few days after we arrived…
Serena had become increasingly popular since her arrival in Axel.
Most priests would usually charge a large fee to heal injuries, since their services were rare and invaluable, but Serena charged only a small fee.
Aqua was very upset by these recent events.
"Damn that woman! I knew there was something strange about her! This was her plan, wasn't it? To steal this town from me!"
"Since when did this town belong to Aqua? And if you really want to do something about it, stop playing video games the whole day and try to win back those guys from the guild."
The depressed Aqua had been staying home all day and doing nothing but eating snacks and playing those video games I acquired from the VIP heaven's gift store.
Even without Serena around, she'd resort to this kind of behavior, anyway.
I couldn't really criticize her too much, however, as I wasn't doing much either and spent a lot of my time playing these same games.
"I don't get what's so special about that Serena woman, anyways. In terms of beauty, aren't I more attractive than her? I'm a goddess, don't you know? Hey, Kazuma, I'm attractive, right?"
"Guys aren't as superficial as Aqua thinks. If Aqua had the slightest hint of a pleasant personality to go along with her good looks, maybe I could say that Aqua is attractive."
Aqua glanced away from the screen and looked at me.
"...Am I really that unattractive? Is my personality really that bad? Hey, hey. Just the other day, I saw these two normies flirting in the park. The girl was eating a lot of food and she got all embarrassed. 'Sorry… I'm such a glutton, aren't I? Tee-hee!' That's what she said. And her boyfriend got all flirty and said. 'Fufu, but I like this unexpected side of you…' He seemed to like seeing that girl stuff her face. So, why am I, who eats a lot, considered unattractive?!"
"That girl doesn't actually eat a lot. She just said that to act all cutesy. And why is Aqua so worried about how attractive she is all of a sudden. The Aqua who I associate in my mind with horse dung due to all that time we spent together in the stables, wouldn't normally act so ladylike."
"H-Horse dung… Hey, the Kazuma who I associate in my mind with the steady sounds of 'fap, fap' due to all that time we spent together in the stables, what the hell are you trying to say about me?"
"Y-You promised me that you ignored the 'fap, fap' sounds!"
The game was forgotten as we got into an argument.
"You two, don't you ever get tired of fighting? Oh, I see you guys are levelling our dear Slime-kun."
Darkness joined us on the sofa. She was wearing a white blouse and a navy-blue skirt, as well as black leggings. Her usual OL look.
She had a cup of tea in her hands as well.
This try-hard was trying to look all sophisticated again.
Since Darkness and Megumin had been constantly grinding their characters in this RPG-like game, including the slime that was somehow the MVP of the party, Aqua and I had vastly underleveled characters.
In fact, this 'Slime-kun' was now carrying us.
"Hey, Darkness, do you think I'm attractive?"
"I'm sorry, Aqua. I may be nearing the age where women are deemed 'too old for marriage', but I'm not into women, so…"
"I wasn't trying to hit on you!"
Aqua seemed to be at her wits end.
"Say, I haven't seen Megumin today."
"That's because Kazuma woke up at noon again. She left earlier to play with Yunyun."
"Ah, so those two are doing their yuri act again. Hey Darkness, take over for me. I'm getting bored."
"I find that difficult to believe, Kazuma. This game is very exciting."
"There's nothing exciting about being overshadowed by a slime, is there? This game has an affection points system as well as a dating sim mechanic. But this slime has more affection points with the heroines than I do. Why is this damn slime so popular?"
"L-Leave Slime-kun alone already."
The slime was pitied by my own party members.
I gave Darkness my controller. She took my place and played with Aqua.
I changed out of my tracksuit and into my street clothes, then headed out.
I wanted Yunyun to teach me that Teleportation spell, but I didn't know where those two were hanging out.
That was, until, I heard a loud noise from the outskirts of town.
As I headed over to Megumin's usual explosion spot, I came across a familiar face.
"Ah, isn't that Kazuma-sama? Greetings."
It was Serena.
There was an entourage of men swarming around Serena.
Were these her disciples?
When I thought about it, I didn't know which god or goddess it was that Serena worshipped.
She didn't have the symbol for the Eris church, and she certainly didn't seem like she was involved in the shady Axis cult.
"Serena-sama, here is the Iced Neroid you wanted."
"Oh, thank you, Rust. Kazuma-sama, would you like one as well? Rust, be a dear and get Kazuma-sama some Iced Neroid."
Um, I don't think his name is Rust. That's Dust, isn't it?
Even though Serena has been calling him by an entirely different name, Dust just nodded and walked away.
He didn't even glance my way or acknowledge me. And there was a certain emptiness in his eyes…
When I looked at the others accompanying Serena, they all had that vacant, lifeless look in their eyes.
Serena followed my gaze. She smiled and said,
"What can I do… For some reason, these people wanted to be my disciples. Haha…"
Certainly. In these past few days, Serena has gathered quite a following.
"Anyways, Kazuma-sama, are you free right now?"
"I've actually got plans…"
"I see… I've actually been meaning to have a talk with you, but if Kazuma-sama is busy, perhaps another time?"
I nodded. She smiled and walked away, the crowd following her.
As I was about to leave, Dust came back with the Iced Neroid, only to find that he'd been ditched.
"Oi, Rust, I mean, Dust. If you're looking for Serena, she just ditched you."
As I talked to Dust, the vacant look in his eyes started fading.
"...Eh? Kazuma? What am I doing here? Oh, Iced Neroid. How did this get here? Well, don't mind if I do…"
He chugged the drink he was supposed to deliver to Serena.
"Puwah! That was good… So, seriously, what the hell is going on? Wasn't it supposed to be night time? Why is the sun out?"
"...This is some pretty unusual behavior, even for Dust. Oi, don't tell me you've been partaking in some illegal substances…"
"What the hell is Kazuma implying about me?! Hey! Even as a joke, you can't just say that! What if the guards hear?!"
That reaction just made me even more suspicious.
"Anyways, Kazuma, what are you up to?"
"Me? Well, I was planning to go over to where Yunyun and Megumin is…"
"Oh, yeah. Speaking of Yunyun, wasn't she just here? The last thing I remember… We were at the guild having some dinner. Well, I was having dinner and Yunyun just sat across from me. As I was reaching for my beer… Ah, that's right! I accidentally spilled the beer just as that Serena babe passed by! The beer spilled all over her white robes, near her thighs. The robes became see through, hehe. I was able to get a glance of her toned thighs and black leggings…"
"Are you sure this was all just an accident?"
It seemed intentional to me.
"Me and some other guys were admiring the sight and then… Eh? My memory is blank after that point."
This was quite the mystery.
Not a very intriguing mystery considering what I just heard, but there was definitely something going on. And Serena was at the center of it.
"Since Yunyun was with Dust at the time, maybe she knows more about what happened. Wanna tag along?"
"Well, sure. Not like I have anything else better to do."
Part 5
We found them still lingering at Megumin's favorite explosion spot.
They were having a picnic.
"...Yunyun, please stop hanging out with me against my will. Carry me back already."
"N-No! This is my rare chance to have Megumin all to myself. I won't let this chance go!"
Correction, Yunyun was having a picnic there. Megumin was just sort of laying on a blanket, still unable to move after casting explosion magic.
Megumin was the first to notice us.
"Kazuma, I'm glad you're here. Please help me. This desperate loner is doing something weird again."
"Eek! I swear, this isn't a crime! Oh, it's just Kazuma-san. And… Dust-san, too?! Dust-san, what happened to you yesterday! You ditched me yesterday! It's not that unusual for Dust-san to ditch me, but something about the way you ditched me yesterday was weird!"
The ditching was just part of their usual routine?
"Yeah, about that, can Yunyun fill in the blanks for me? All I remember was seeing a pair of sexy legs and…"
"...Um, after Dust-san and the other male adventurers nearby were ogling at Serena-san, they all started acting weird. The light left their eyes and they all got up to follow Serena-san. She seemed quite surprised… No, not surprised, as if she didn't understand what was going on, it seemed more like something out of her own control happened?"
Yunyun couldn't grasp the whole picture, but she did provide us with some important clues.
"Serena is probably the cause of all this, huh? She seemed pretty harmless at the start, but maybe there's something going on with her?"
"I told Kazuma and everyone already! I could sense something strange about her!"
Megumin's chuuni senses actually struck gold this time.
"Hey, I don't know if this Serena babe is really all that suspicious or not, but she has a huge following you know? If Kazuma snoops around or picks a fight with her, half the town will riot."
"Saying 'half the town' is really quite the exaggeration. Isn't it just the desperate, lonely males who are flocking around her? Frankly, I often hear them say 'Finally! A beautiful girl without any crippling eccentricities appeared in this town!'"
"...I somehow got the urge to fight those guys, Kazuma."
I didn't want to provoke Megumin's wrath, so I left it at that.
It's not like I was sure if our suspicions against Serena had any validity to them.
I remembered that I initially wanted to seek out Yunyun to have her teach me the Teleport spell.
After seeing her demonstrate it and teach me the finer points of the skill, I used my vast amounts of Skill Points to learn the skill.
Afterwards, I carried Megumin home, leaving the still disoriented Dust in the hands of Yunyun.
Megumin wanted to come along, but she'd have only made things more complicated. She was still unable to move, so I left her in the living room.
I found Serena easily enough at the guild.
Those guys were still hovering around her, but their numbers had decreased significantly.
I watched from afar and observed them, using the Lip Reading skill to spy on their conversations.
"...Um, your name was Theo, right? Then, Theo-san, I want you to confess to your crush while buck naked."
"...I can't… Do… That… Eh? What am I doing here…?"
Just like what happened to Dust earlier, this Theo person seemed to snap out of a daze. He looked around his surroundings in confusion.
"Hah… That's one more down. Geez, when will the rest of them snap out of my control?"
For the next hour or so, I watched Serena attempt to make unreasonable requests to the guys surrounding her.
"You, go to that beautiful receptionist and tell her 'Oi, I'm a capable adventurer aren't I? Then as a reward, drop that blouse and show me your big, beautiful chest'."
"...There's no way… I can do that… Eh? Where am I?"
Serena grew increasingly confident. She muttered to herself,
"I see. It's been a while since I had to do this, so I almost forgot the method to snap them out of the hypnosis. After all, normally I'd want to have people under my control, not free them out of it. Rather than having them feel as if their debts were paid, it's easier to make unreasonable request to pull them out my control… Stil, coming up with these requests is a pain. Oi, you. Go up to that waitress and tell her that you 'have a short sword down there, but it's not the size of the sword that counts, it's how you use it'."
"...No way I'm doing… that… Eh? Was I dreaming?"
She said it was a pain, but she seemed to enjoy doing this.
I didn't get the whole picture, but I understood that this incident was more or less an accident.
That said, this mysterious power mind control power of Serena's was something I couldn't leave unchecked.
After she got rid of the last guy, I decided to head over and confront her directly.
"...Sigh, that was the last of it… Eh, Kazuma-sama!"
She was normally under control at all times, but she panicked for a split second when she saw me.
"Oh, my. To run across Kazuma-sama like this. Have you eaten lunch yet? Then perhaps we…"
"Um, you can drop the act now. I saw you using your powers…"
"..."
Just because she had weird powers, that didn't make her evil or someone to be wary of.
For all I knew, those powers of hers could have been some kind of weird cheat ability that had an inconvenient drawback.
But, the way her eyes hardened made me think that she wasn't all that innocent.
"I planned on telling you sooner or later anyway. I didn't expect you to figure me out, though. I assume you know that I'm a former Devil King army general as well?"
"...Eh?"
This was news to me.
"You didn't? Oh, I thought you did. Relax, I said 'former' didn't I? Hey, now that the secret's out, want to come over to my place? We can talk over there."
Her meek, priestly attitude was completely gone.
The coldness and indifference I had only seen flashes of before were now fully in display.
Part 6
I didn't have a choice but to follow her, alone.
Bringing the others along would surely lead to a fight. Those hotheads wouldn't be able to contain themselves once they found out Serena used to be a Devil King general.
I was confident in my ability to escape now that I had learned the Teleport spell from Yunyun, though.
"I'm renting this inn. It's not too shabby, but not that luxurious, either, so I don't know if it's up to your tastes."
Serena said, as she lead me inside her room.
"I don't really mind. As an adventurer, I started out sleeping in the stables."
"...It's hard to imagine the famous hero who defeated my former boss had such humble beginnings, but those eyes of yours tell me that you're telling the truth."
Serena sensed the trauma in my eyes and left it at that.
There wasn't a living room or guest room or anything like that, so Serena had me sit on the bed.
There weren't any cooking appliances, but there was an old fashioned kettle and stove. Serena lit a match and started a fire on the stove. She filled the kettle with water and had it boil.
She served tea after the water stopped boiling.
"Now then, shall we begin our talk?"
I nodded. I activated my Sense Motive skill to detect any potential lies.
"First of all, I'd like to say that putting those guys under my control was a complete accident. I didn't expect them to become enslaved just from seeing my legs through wet, see-through robes."
"You underestimate the thirst of a sex-deprived man. So, does Serena have mind control powers after all?"
"Not exactly. It's a passive ability of sorts, given to me by the goddess I serve. I have more than one unique ability, but the main one is my ability to control people as if they were puppets on the condition that they must sincerely feel as if they were indebted to me."
"So… Those guys who were able to gawk at Serena's thighs were…?"
"Yes. They felt so grateful that they were able to come under my spell. Normally, I'd need to do something like cure someone from a life-threatening wound, but…"
Dust and those guys are truly hopeless.
"The only way to break them out of the spell is to have them feel as if they have paid their debt, or make such unreasonable demands that my control over them slips."
Dust snapped out of his control after he bought Serena some Iced Neroid.
That guy actually thought his debt for committing sexual harassment was settled after buying his victim an iced beverage.
"I somewhat understand that strange ability of Serena's now. But what I'd like to know is... What's your reason for coming to this town? And the more I think about it, what was a former Devil King general like you doing in the Satou Kazuma fan club?"
She averted her gaze.
"Well, my reason for coming to this town is to talk with you, of course. As for the fan club… My master said that it was for the sake of recon, but no matter how you think about it, she just sent me there to mess with me."
This master of hers seemed like a troublesome person.
"Alright… Well, if you just wanted to talk, then talk. What did you want to tell me?"
Serena met my eyes once more.
"Let's see… Where to start. Well, first, I should tell you that I was working for Maouko-sama until recently. She's still alive."
I spit out my drink.
"Eh?! That bitch is still alive?! Oi!"
My Sense Motive didn't detect any lies.
"Not only is she still alive, but she has been behind the scenes, influencing events… For example, the civil war that almost came about a while ago was due to Maouko-sama's schemes. She influenced the emergency council with hypnosis. She even tried to get the explosion mage in your party killed during the process."
"..."
That made my blood run cold.
"Of course, she couldn't make any overt movements or the gods and others with clairvoyance techniques like Vanir-san would find out she's still alive, but she makes her move when she can. One of these moves involves her acquiring a former Devil King general like myself. She's known as the Goddess of Destruction, Wolbach-sama. Like the little girl in your party, she is a master of explosion magic…"
Another explosion user?
Not only was Maouko alive and influencing things from behind the scenes this whole time, she was already amassing her fighting potential.
"Why Serena is telling me all this?"
It was strange for a former Devil King general to tell the heroes all of her ex-boss's evil plans.
"Quite frankly, my master and I are choosing the side who we believe has the best chance of winning."
I didn't know if our side really had that much of an advantage, but I wasn't complaining if she wanted to help us.
"Who is this master of yours, anyway?"
"My master… is an existence known as a dark goddess. The goddess of Puppetry and Vengeance… Regina-sama."
And yet another goddess was introduced into this mess.
"She doesn't sound very trustworthy."
"She's a dark goddess after all, and the goddess that a former Devil King general like me serves. What in the world did you expect?"
"That goddess of Destruction, Wolbach, didn't seem all too friendly, either."
"Again, she was formerly associated with the Devil King army. Please don't think that all goddesses are a bunch of goody-goodies like that goddess of fortune and probability, Eris. Tch!"
For some reason, she said 'Tch!' at the mention of Eris.
"That's true. Not all goddesses are good or act as allies of justice. There are some useless goddess who don't do anything all day but idle about, too."
"There's no way such a goddess exists."
She couldn't accept that a goddess like Aqua could ever exist.
"Now that I told you all this, shall we make a truce? I, of course, am saying this as a representative of Regina-sama."
"Sure, but what's the extent of this truce? Are you guys going to help us fight against Maouko?"
"Maouko-sama doesn't know of our betrayal yet, and we plan to keep it that way in case you guys lose. However, we will provide you information and work behind the scenes. I gave you a lot of useful information today, right?"
"...If you guys weren't going to get involved, then why go out of your way to help us?"
"Because we'd rather not have you and your party, especially the explosion girl, as our enemy."
I guess even dark goddesses fear Megumin's destructive potential these days.
"So, do you agree to a truce?"
"Sure, why not."
We shook hands.
"Great. Alright, to seal the deal, why don't we have sex?"
"...Eh?"
What did she just say?
Serena shrugged her shoulders.
"This is the fastest way to show our trust, since we'll be exposing and making ourselves vulnerable to each other. It's not all that uncommon for deals between a man and a woman to end this way."
"Is that really how it works in this world?!"
Sometimes I forgot that I was in a world with different ethics and practices than from the one I came from.
"...In this world? Anyways, a big shot hero like you probably gets a lot of action, so why are you acting like this is such a big deal? It's just sex."
"J-J-J-Just sex?!"
After saying that, she started loosening the collar of her robes.
"Wait, wait! Don't you know that I'm dating that same explosion girl you guys said you were so afraid of?! Don't you know what she'll do if she finds out?"
"...Hmm? Then just don't tell her."
"..."
I didn't expect such infallible reasoning.
True, what she doesn't know won't hurt her.
And it's not like you can tell if a guy has lost his virginity or not.
Wait, why am I rationalizing this?!
"So, do you just want to jump straight into it, or do you want to have some foreplay?"
"F-F-F-F-Foreplay?"
"...Why do you keep stuttering?"
Her robes were already open at the front.
I could see her black-lace lingerie underneath.
There was now a half-naked woman beside me on this bed.
"..."
But in the end, I'll have to refuse her.
I have Megumin, after all.
Ah, but I'm really flattered.
For such a beautiful woman to seduce me like this, I'm really quite flattered.
I am truly… grateful…
"Alright. So, should I start or… Eh? What's with that glazed-over look in your eyes? Don't tell me…? Oiiii! Why the hell did you come under my control?! Don't tell me you think you owe me for this?! Come to think of it, you were stuttering and blushing earlier… Are you a virgin or something?!"
Bingo.
…
…
Chapter 30 END
Next Chapter: Gifting this town with a Goddess festival!