Chapter 93

It was proving to be a windy day as Scarlett and Rhett walked on the cobbled road between the Angel oak trees in search of the gravesite. A drizzle of rain that might made the mud crunch pleasantly underneath their he finally found the spot, he walked on ahead and Scarlett lingered back for a moment. She was struck by the rows and rows of graves all beautified by various women's associations. The place looked so peaceful. Almost an serene peace enveloped it. And it was so quiet too. Not a bird chirp. Not a rustle of the leaves. Just vines swinging from the trees- the faint swishing sound that made a shiver run down Scarlett's spine.

She saw Rhett stopping near a beautiful white-stone grave with a large cross as the headstone. A white marbled stone covered the grave with a large stone braid running along the edge. The letters in the inscription were written with an elegant hand. How very different Mr. Butler's grave looked compared to her own Pa's near her plantation home. Rhett immediately whistled and waved his hand authoritatively. A little boy appeared out of nowhere and he waved back from the distance. He rushed out of sight and returned with a rag and a bucket. He quickly cleaned the grave and kicked away the leaves and the twigs. Rhett hardly noticed the boy. He gave him some money and sent him away. Now he was merely standing there and looking down on where his father was buried.

He seemed to sigh and he looked at Scarlett and reached out his hand. Scarlett looked a little surprised and then a little pleased. She went and held his hand in hers and they stood together, quietly.

"He was a hard man, Scarlett. Never gave in even once. Right till the bitter end."

Scarlett found feel his pressure on her hand. She could sense his pulse. It was strong. Even his muscles seemed tensed and taut. It was strange that he must feel so frustrated at so quiet a place. She took his arm.

His voice seemed to shake faintly. "What did you do, Scarlett? Did you remember your father when he raised you? Is that how you cried at his grave?"

Again, Scarlett was struck by how on point yet eerie this deliberation was. Why couldn't he just cry or not cry? Why should he want to know how to feel? She felt this moment was lacking some spontaneity and somehow she couldn't bring him out.

"Why, that's up to you, Rhett. He is the man who raised you. Maybe you didn't agree with him all the time or he hated you, but he still raised you. You have to be grateful for your rearing."

Rhett nodded lightly. "Then, he was a good man, Scarlett. He did believe in discipline and good manners. I suppose I was too wild for him- a nuisance. Boys always bring trouble."

Now his body seemed to tremble and he was breathing very hard- as if he was controlling himself- as if this was very difficult for him. The breathing sounded harder and louder.

Scarlett slowly looked at his face and was startled to see tears in his eyes. And he didn't seem to mind that she saw them.

She was frightened at this deliberation and yet innocence of feeling. She had never seen anyone like this before. The stranger who lived beside her.

The next moment, he snapped into attention. He seemed to physically push down his feelings and taking her arm more determinedly, he led her away from the grave.

"Let's go somewhere else" he muttered, under breath, in a voice full of hate. "I can't stand it."

"Oh Rhett, do let me pick flowers from those magnolia trees. They even have wild roses here. Do wait a moment-"

She ran to the bushes and the trees and picked as many flowers as she could. She arranged them around the grave and saying a prayer, she went back to join Rhett.

They took an open carriage to a sweet little café just within Charleston. Rhett was moody but Scarlett managed to enjoy herself. Then he wanted to walk for a while and she liked this idea too. The streets of Charleston were much more clean and full of interesting little shops and old houses. Rhett seemed to grow gloomier and gloomier and Scarlett was growing anxious. She couldn't stop herself from being filled with a strange suspicion. It had all seemed too easy. Somehow she never realized that being married to Rhett would be anything but easy. She had a nagging fear that somehow she was being given the short end of the stick. There must be some failing in Rhett. He appeared to have no faults at all. Yes, he had taken the right steps to make amends with his father's spirit. But even there, it didn't feel right.

There was no scene when Rhett returned to his house and told his mother where he had been. The way he said it, it sounded as if it had been nothing at all. This also made Scarlett very angry inside. It made her feel as if everything she had been through with him was nothing. And somewhere in her mind, after Rosemary had questioned her motives, she had later on thought that reuniting Rhett with his family might be a good achievement for her. Her heart had warmed up to the idea. She had imagined that somehow God had given her this lovely responsibility and she had felt a small thrill. But now, she saw Rhett in muted anger and confusion. Just what did he think of her? Did he think of her as some simpleton?!

She realized that she had to know the truth.

That night, Rhett wanted her to stay with him. He lay by her side and she was wearing her night gown and lying with her head on his shoulder. He was staring off into the darkness and she was idly fiddling at his robe.

"Rhett,-" she asked quietly. "Were you happy that I came with you today?"

"Yes, I am" came Rhett's reply.

She came closer and put her head on his chest so that she could hear the steady beating of his heart. "Rhett, I want to ask you something-"

"Yes?"

"Well, Rhett, what do you think of me?" asked Scarlett, simply.

"Think of you?" echoed Rhett, with surprise.

"Now that.. now that everything has happened and I've come back to you. You must think something about me-"

"Why, I-" Rhett's arm slid under her night gown from behind and she pushed it away at once. "No, Rhett- do be serious. I don't want anything like that. I just want to know what you think of me. Now, I'll give you a clue.. just listen.."

Scarlett put her head on his chest and slipped her fingers underneath his robe so that she could tease the hairs on his chest. "When you first saw me at Ashley's barbeque party- you must have thought something about me?"

She felt his heart beat faster. She pretended as if she hadn't noticed a thing. "Tell me, Rhett-" she coaxed.

But Rhett became very still. He didn't speak for a long time and then abruptly announced that he was tired. Scarlett got up in bitter disappointment and climbed out of the bed. She felt Rhett catch her arm. She resisted and pulled away. He seemed oddly put out by it.

"Scarlett, don't you think you must at least kiss me goodnight?" he asked, amused at her anger. She came to him and gave a peck of a kiss and tried to rush out when he caught her arm again. Suddenly he was back to his old teasing self. "I don't call that a kiss. What's come over you Scarlett. One moment you are cuddled coyly on my chest and the next you are tearing down the room in some fiery passion. Come here now-"

"Rhett, you don't know how I feel. When I think of how you must have first seen me going straight after Ashley. That was how you saw me, didn't you? Just a well-brought up Southern Belle looking to catch her beau. You must have thought something awful about me! That's why you wont tell me! I don't show it outside but inside I feel terrible. I could cry and cry- And now that I've come to you, I feel so small and silly- I feel that I ought to do something outrageous just to impress you!"

Rhett seemed alarmed at this. He managed to turn her face once for a kiss but when he tried again, she turned away. Scarlett hid her face from him and smiled to herself smugly. At least now he was finally begging her for kisses. She never had much fun before but she was going to have some fun now.

"Scarlett-" he said tenderly, trying to catch her face somehow but she twisted her head away and then buried her face in his chest. He laughed out loud at her bull-headedness. "You wanted to have my mind and now you wont tell me what you think of me!" came Scarlett's voice, all muffled and angry. "For all I know, you still think of me as a proud, selfish hussy-"

"Stop it!" said Rhett, growing irritated. "All right, I'll tell you. What a passion you are in! What did happen at that barbeque?"

Scarlett relaxed now and slipped her fingers onto his bare chest again. "I was wearing that apple green dress and I met you at the flight of the stairs-"

"Yes, er.. I remember coming along with Frank Kennedy. I met Mr. Wilkes and I saw you chatting up Charlie Hamilton and old Frank. And I saw you doing that to all of our brave young lads. What a little darling, you were-"

"Never mind. What did you think of me?!" pressed Scarlett.

"Well, it seemed to me as if you were gathering every beau there to you but your eyes kept looking out for Ashley. I saw that. I saw you hunting for your real prey and then growing disappointed when Ashley didn't even notice you. That was quite a plan!"

Rhett laughed softly. "And then that terrible love scene at the library! You finally got Ashley into your clutches and when you confessed what you felt to him, what did he say of your plan - I think he said that "wasn't it enough if you had every man's heart that you must want his heart too. He said you had cut your teeth on his heart."

Rhett laughed even more at this. Scarlett wondered why. "Why do you laugh so much? Are you laughing at me?"

"No, you goose-" said Rhett, fondly. "He should have fallen in love with you then, shouldn't he? That's where your sweet little plan went wrong. I was behind that couch listening. I heard-"

Scarlett could hear Rhett's heartbeat rising, faster and faster. He was breathing harder now -like a panther- full of latent energy. "I heard a sadness in your voice, as if you could not believe that he did not understand. That you had always believed some tender emotion from Ashley would somehow fill the moment. That was also part of your plan, wasn't it. Ashley's reply was part of the plan. You never thought beyond that. I don't think I remember anything after that. I only thought of this lovely girl who had made such a lovely plan and the innocence of it touched me. Marriage is a huge decision and women spend so may months spinning their men into their webs of affection but there you were eagerly ready to dive into it without hesitation- you had created a moment but there was no love to fill it. Yet what a moment and what an innocence! And that childlike way in which you were demanding Ashley to love you. To bully him into affection. I couldn't help seeing strength in that bull-headedness. "

Scarlett sat up and stared into Rhett's eyes. What he had told was the truth.

"Now, will you leave me in peace, Scarlett?" asked Rhett, good naturedly. Scarlett thoughtfully got out of the bed and came over to his side. She stifled all her smiles and when he turned her face to him, she deliberately kissed him on the nose and skipped out of his grasp. "I'm tired, Rhett" she protested. She tumbled outside and closed the door. Satisfied that he wasn't coming after her, she blushed and blushed at what he had said. "So, Rhett could speak tender feelings towards her! That cordial talk was just a mask! Now, she really had him. But she must play her cards right!"

"There is something very mysterious yet good and wonderful about Rhett and I am going to find out just what it is!"