I felt hollow inside. My discouragement was so overwhelming that I could hardly stand to keep moving. I was a wreck when the Ordinators questioned me, which probably helped my case. They asked for my version of events which I gave with a flat, unfeeling monotone. They questioned me for well over an hour on who I was and if I knew anything about why I'd been targeted.

Thanks to much experience, the lies came easy and when I finally broke down crying at the prospect of not being able to return home, they seemed to become uncomfortable, assuming my pain was from the shock of the attack, and expedited my departure after justifying their case that I was no heretic. When I left the temple, I found myself wandering. On the bridge where the attack had occurred, a number of temple acolytes scrubbed the blood from the stone walkway. The bodies were gone, taken out of sight.

Not only was I stuck on this island, but now I had done something to attract the attention of these so called dreamers. Why did they want me to go to Red Mountain?

Besides all this, the feeling of rejection weighed on me. 'That's silly,' I told myself. 'You just met her today and she's a Khajiit of all things. You don't need her.'

Except I had needed her, or at least something from her. She'd robbed me of the prospect of romance and an escape from the island. Without the motivation to continue Caius' mission, I found myself at the Black Shalk cornerclub. Huleeya was nowhere to be seen, which didn't bother me. I sat at the bar and waited until the bartender approached.

"What's your poison?" I didn't know how to answer that question. Mom used to drink wine some evenings, but only lightly. Dad never drank at all. He always told me that liquor made you vulnerable and he never left himself vulnerable. My chest burned with shame for ignoring his council, but I already felt vulnerable. I might as well let go and forget my troubles for the evening.

"Just give me something strong."

A clean pewter cup was filled with some pungent liquid in exchange for gold. I took a long while before actually taking a sip. To be honest, it tasted awful. I had to clear my eyes as the burning sensation ran from my throat to my face. I finished the cup, trying not to inhale through the nose.

It was all downhill from there. I found out that I was a mean and vindictive drunk. I glared down anyone who approached me and barked at the bartender to keep filling my cup. The middle-aged Dunmer put up with my antics for a good while, but at some point he cut me off. I tried to lunge at his throat, but only succeeded in collapsing over the bar.

Two golden men took me away and I must have blacked out in transit. I vaguely remember someone prompting me to swallow bits of torn bread. The next morning, I awoke to a pounding in my head the likes of which I'd never felt before, even after a concussion and I'd had a few. The only thing that competed for my attention was the pressure in my bladder. I opened my eyes to find myself on a rug in a bedroom. With a bit of thought, I decided it must be an inn.

I struggled to my feet, fighting against the weakness that made my legs feel like jelly. I uttered a prayer of thanks to Azura that the city of Vivec had proper water closets, though in hindsight it was more likely thanks to Vivec himself rather than Azura. While taking care of business, I pondered on the architectural design. How old was Vivec city anyway? The Empire had adopted water closets only in the past hundred years, using aqueducts to provide running water to homes. Had the Dunmer invented them earlier? Then again, Balmora and Seyda Neen still only had outhouses.

I physically tried to shake these thoughts from my head, immediately wishing I hadn't as the pounding in my head increased. I held onto the wall for balance. When I returned to the room, I found that I was not alone. Addhiranirr was curled up beneath the sheets on the only bed in the room. What was she doing here?

I thought back to the events of the night before, remembering being escorted from the cornerclub by the Ordinators. They would have taken me to jail to sober up. The only explanation is that Addhiranirr offered to take care of me. My anger towards her from yesterday dissipated. Her face was troubled as if her waking dreams were causing , I sat on the bed and laid a hand on her shoulder.

She jolted awake with a gasp, but calmed when she realized it was me. I withdrew my hand and she sat up defensively. I tried to think of something to say, but despite her getting me out of trouble with the Ordinators, I couldn't let go of the fact that she was the only thing standing between me and home. The silence drew too long and became awkward. I decided to leave, getting up and gathering my things from atop a wooden dresser. As I belted on my sword, the Khajiit broke the silence.

"Addhiranirr has not been completely honest with you Han lu." I paused a moment to listen before shouldering my bag and belting on my sword. "Addhiranirr knew you were coming to see her. Safia Dren is a good friend. She told this one about you." She had to suppress a sad smile. "Addhiranirr joked that she would have you for herself to tease poor Safia. This one believes she's enamored with you. Addhiranirr meant you no harm."

"Don't worry about it," I grunted.

"What will Han lu do now?"

I took a deep breath. "I need to find another way off this island, seeing how you can't help me."

"You do this for Caius, yes?" I nodded. She threw the sheets off herself and stood to face me. "You lie to Addhiranirr. She knows Caius has his own contacts in smuggling." I looked to the ceiling, annoyed at having my lie called out. "Why do you try to go behind Caius' back? Are you not his agent?"

I couldn't meet her gaze. "Only under threat of death. You won't rat me out will you?"

She ignored my question, persisting with her own. "Why does Han lu want to get back to the mainland?"

I shook my head and draped the bow over my shoulder. "That's none of your concern."

I was about to leave, but she interjected. "Not only is it this one's concern, it is her business. Addhiranirr arranges smuggling and if she doesn't know what's being smuggled or who's looking for it, she loses ships and the rest of her Captains won't work for her if they think Addhiranirr will get caught. Tell this one and maybe she can find Han lu passage."

I paused, my hand inches from the door latch. I choked up, trying to avoid thinking about it. Addhiranirr pushed me for answers. "Is it to run from Caius, to run from these dreamers?" She hesitated. "Are you going after the Emperor again?"

I winced, realizing the whole thieves guild probably knew my story by now thanks to Safia. Maybe the Cammona Tong too, depending on the whim Orvas Dren. "I don't want to fight anyone anymore." I was honestly shocked at my own answer. I had to pause and consider my emotions to make sure it was the truth. I realized in that moment that I, Han lu, son of the Empire's most wanted criminal mastermind, was done wanting to fight.

"I… I just want to go home. I want to find my mother and make sure she's okay." I was crying now. "The Emperor beat me, fair and square. He broke my vicious side and now I just want to put my family back together as best I can. I don't want to be his errand boy, I don't want to be stuck alone here on this heathen island, and I most definitely do not want to deal with an ancient demon who can take over the minds of 12 random people and make them fight for him. I just… I just want to get home." I pounded on the wooden door and turned on Addhiranirr, shaking. Not with fear or rage, but conviction.

"I don't need your help. I'll find a way. Even if I have to play along with Caius' schemes for a while. I'll plan, I'll prepare, and I'll burn to the ground anything that gets in my way. The Blades, the guilds, the dreamers, it doesn't matter. I can be a very dangerous person and anyone who underestimates me will get what's coming to them. If I never see my family again, it will be because I died trying."

Addhiranirr nodded solemnly. "This one will arrange a deal for you. The thieves guild is willing to trade favors. It won't be easy, but perhaps you can make the reward outweigh the risks of double crossing the Empire."

I took a few calming breaths. "You tell your bosses I want passage off this island for two within a week. Before that time, I'll do any job they need. Anything. If they take any longer, I'll steal my own boat and make a go of it myself."

Addhiranirr wore a narrowed gaze and sly grin. "This one will relay your terms. Expect someone to make contact with you in Balmora soon."

I held out a hand and Addhiranirr shook it with a fuzzy white paw. "Very soon," I insisted. I turned and left the inn to find my way to the Foreign Quarter. I'd had enough of this city. It was great to look at, but the Ordinators made me uncomfortable. I delayed my departure just long enough to stop at the bookstore Huleeya had brought me to. Jo'Basha, the owner happily retrieved the book I needed from his back room. I left with one copy of "The Progress of Truth" weighing down my satchel.

As I appeared in the Balmora mages guild, Ajira was upon me almost instantly.

"How did it go? Did you make contact? Can we go home?"

I had no time to answer before Ranis Athrys interrupted with a haughty, rude demeanor. "Oh Ajira, will you stop hanging on him like some sort of pet? Honestly, it's embarrassing."

Ajira deflated, laying her ears back and turning to face the guildmaster.

Ranis continued, facing me now. "Dear Han lu. How fortunate you stopped by."

I held up my hand. "Easy there. I think I've had enough dealings with the mages guild. If you're offering work, just save your breath."

Ranis feigned shock, pressing a hand to her chest. "Why Han lu, whatever could have brought this on?"

I furrowed my brow and nodded toward Ajira, silently inquiring whether she really wanted to have this discussion in public? When she failed to respond, I answered simply. "I have no desire to continue in the business of political killings and extortion."

Ranis reached out and slapped me across the face. "How dare you accuse me of something so sordid." She reached out to hit me again, but I pinned her right arm to the wall with me left arm and pressed the blade of my knife to her throat.

"You don't know who you're dealing with bitch."

Ranis scoffed, despite the edge of the knife. "You will regret this. I am connected like you would not imagine."

I sneered and pressed the blade sharply against the skin. "I eat friends in high places for breakfast."

Ajira threw herself forward, grabbing my wrist. "Han lu, stop. You'll be arrested."

I maintained my position and Ranis smiled down at me. "Yes Han lu, think of your friend. Just imagine all the trouble you're causing for her."

Now I was angry. I let the knife slide, just a bit, slitting Ranis' skin just enough to draw blood. "You will do nothing to her. You will do nothing to me. You will forget all about this little standoff, or I will come for you." She matched the malice in my voice.

"I'm calling your bluff. You're a tool, not a mastermind. Without someone standing behind you, you won't take the risk." She spat in my face and sneered.

"Ajira, pack your things, you can't stay here anymore," I told her.

She hesitated, but only momentarily. She saw that it was dangerous to be around Ranis now. I held the guildmaster put in the alchemy room while Ajira packed. She smiled smugly as a line of blood ebbed down to her robes.

Ajira signaled that she was ready and I backed away. "You and I both know you don't have any fighters you can send after me. Drop this matter."

"Oh, I wouldn't be so sure," the Dunmer said, pressing a hand to her injured neck. "I always have a trick or two up my sleeve."

I backed out of the room with the knife outstretched, only sheathing it once I'd left Ranis behind. It was obvious that everyone in the basement was trying to look busy, ignoring what had just occurred.

I rushed Ajira out of the guild and up the street, helping her carry a trunk.

"Han lu, why did you do that? What happened with the smuggler? Where are we going?"

"We've been delayed," I explained. "Not for long, but it's becoming more complicated. I have to do a couple jobs for my contact before they'll put us on a ship."

"Ajira thought we just had to pay them. And now Ranis is after us. Han lu, this is falling apart."

"No," I insisted. "I grew up this way. Just trust me and we'll make it. We need to hide you for a couple days." I stopped in the market square.

"Wait here where the city guards can see you", I ordered. "I'll be right back with a plan."

My friend grabbed my sleeve to stop me. "Han lu, Ajira is frightened. Don't dig our graves any deeper."

I took a breath and wrapped my arms around the robed Khajiit. "Ajira, you're my only friend. I'm going to get us out of here safe, I'm going to introduce you to my family in Cyrodiil, and we're going to travel Tamriel like we planned. I promise I'll make it happen."

The cat took a few deep, frightened breaths. "Okay. Ajira will wait here."

I turned and hurried to the fighters guild. I scanned each room, looking for one particular person. I found him in the training room. "Wayn!" The Redguard dropped a lead weight he was exercising with and turned to me.

"Hey, Han lu." Wayn's voice was a soothing baritone. "I never see you anymore, what's going on?"

"I have a friend who's in some trouble," I rattled off. "Do you feel like taking an easy escort job?"

"Yeah, sure." Wayn turned to me, straightening to his impressive full height. "What do you need me to do?"

"You're going to take the silt strider to Vivec, but you're going to discreetly get off halfway and escort Ajira, the Mages guild alchemist to Seyda Neen instead. Most likely, you'll just need to help carry her trunk and scare off animals. Once you drop her off, you can't tell anyone about the job."

He nodded. "What's the pay?"

I breathed a sigh of relief, feeling that I could trust Wayn to be loyal to a contract. After a moment of thought I offered a generous 300 septims which he accepted, raising one eyebrow in surprised approval. Wayn was nothing like me, but he was the kind of person I could work with. Honest, but realistic. I left him to prepare and returned to Ajira. She stood right where I'd left her.

"You're going to hide in Seyda Neen until I come for you. I have an acquaintance from the fighters guild who will take you there. Rent a room in the top of Arrille's tradehouse. Take your meals in your room and tip the innkeeper to lie to anyone asking about you."

Ajira met my concerned gaze. "How many days?"

"If I'm not there in a week, find Addhiranirr in Vivec, either at the St. Olms Canton or the Foreign Quarter. Tell her you're Han lu's passenger and that you'll pay for passage. You do have money, right?"

Ajira nodded. "Eight thousand septims."

"Good." I waited with her until Wayn showed up. He wore a heavy steel cuirass and a shield and broadsword. Any more armor would have been overly cumbersome for this kind of job. In addition to his payment, I gave him twenty extra septims to pay the driver to keep quiet about the special stop. I joined the crowd of people in the street, still celebrating the harvest and scanned the crowd for anyone watching Ajira.

My instincts were more in tune with my former life now than they'd been since arriving on Vvardenfell. My eyes whipped to anyone whose gaze remained in Ajira's direction for more than a cursory moment. A Dunmer girl, glancing at a small group of children. A Bosmer merchant, watching as Ajira and Wayn, passed her stall. An Argonian beggar, staring after them forlornly before dropping his gaze to the street. On the roof of a cafe. An orc in mage robes. I recognized Sharn, from the mages guild.

She saw me spot her and instantly ran. I pushed through the crowd to the bottom of the stairwell where she had to emerge. She tried to dart back toward her guild, but I threw an arm around her torso and pulled her into the alley between the cafe and the next building. She swung around and battered at my face with her forearm. I grunted, nose stinging and eyes watering, but threw her deeper into the alley and drew my knife.

"Stop now…" Before I could finish a sentence, she had conjured a gleaming dagger to her hand and lunged for me. I jumped back and away to dodge, her conjured blade passing through where my stomach had just been. In the confined space, we didn't have much room to maneuver. I crouched, both hands out in front, my knife in my right. I waited for her inexperienced attack to come. She lunged forward, trying to cover more distance than an experienced fighter would have.

I grabbed at her knife hand and followed with a slash across her wrist. She naturally jumped back in shock, the dagger disapperating. I used my grip on her to throw her into the wall and twist her arm up behind her back.

I barked at her with the matter of fact tone of a judge speaking to a convict in his own courtroom. "Okay Orc. You have two options. I'll pay you forty septims to tell Ranis that Ajira left town alone on foot, headed north to Caldera or else the guards find your body in this alley when someone complains about the smell."

"Okay, okay," she sputtered in her toothy voice. "I'll do it."

"Good girl." I released her arm, but kept her pinned with one elbow while I counted the gold. After taking the money, she pressed the sleeve of her robe against her wound.

"I have no love for Ranis. I was just protecting my position. So I'll tell you something else. She spoke with an Altmer woman who's been asking around town about the whereabouts of her father. Ranis just told her you'd been assigned to escort him to Pelagiad and that was the last she'd heard of him."

I groaned slightly, remembering the scholar, Itermerel, whom I'd killed. "What does she look like?"

Sharn grunted. "Tall and pretty. Gold skin and hair. She wore serious looking gold colored armor. Not like those Ordinators. It was that lightweight high elf stuff."

I nodded. "Thanks for telling me. Now get out of here."

Sharn bowed her head and scurried away into the crowd, quite eager to get away from me.

I soon followed. Now that Ajira was taken care of, I had to bide my time until I was contacted by the thieves guild. I could report to Caius, but he might have another job for me to do. What I needed to do was kill time in such a way, that Caius wouldn't think I was putting him off.

On my way to the fighters guild, I thought of the book in my satchel. If Caius knew I was in town, which he undoubtedly did, I could just claim I wanted to read the Progress of Truth before reporting in.

I caught myself and ducked out of the crowd, into a stairwell at the sight of a tall gold figure waiting in front of the fighters guild. I peeked out to see the Altmer woman... no, girl, that Sharn had described. She was tall, around six feet, which wasn't that uncommon for High elves. She wore beautiful armor, the boots and gauntlets engraved with a feathery design. The helmet was not overly large, the angular carvings conforming to a practical shape, including a hooked nose guard reminiscent of an eagle's beak.

I couldn't say I'd heard of any group that wore armor such as this. I left the stairwell and headed the other direction, muttering, "This I do not need." I could no longer go to either guild, nor the cafe where I often ate, as some of my guild mates might have mentioned it to her. Instead, I crossed the river. When I thought about an inn I could board in, the one that made the most sense was the South Wall. There was no reason for the Altmer to look for me there and according to Caius, it was run by the thieves guild, so I'd be notified as soon as soon as they figured out what they wanted me to do for them.

Upon entering the place, I once again found a number of eyes on me, some of them lingering with a look between curiosity and recognition. I made my way to the basement taproom and went straight to the patron. The white haired, balding, Breton man looked at me curiously as I perched on a barstool.

"Do you know who I am?" I met his ponderous gaze.

"I think so."

"Good, I need a room."

He reached under the counter for a booking ledger. "For how long?"

"Until your people are done with me," I put simply.

"Very well sir." He put the ledger back under the counter without putting ink to it. He put a key on the counter with a number 6 stamped into the metal. "Compliments of the house."

I realized that unlike Wayn, these people were like me. We understood each other and that meant I had to be cautious around them. "Many thanks." I took the key and eagerly locked myself away in one of the rooms down a hall from the taproom, ignoring the silent stir my presence had created.