South Park in the Emotional Warzone Chapter 5: Lyra and Felix's Guilt
One week had passed since Kyle's funeral, and Felix is still highly depressed. It was now August 17th, 2019. School would start for the kids in a little more than three weeks. Felix's little sister, Isabella would be damned if her big brother started off the new school year on a sour note. But she tried everything to cheer him up, each attempt ending fruitless. However, Isabella decided to try again since this particular August day was very dreary with rain pouring down and thunder rumbling in the distance. She really had nothing better to do.
Isabella walked towards Felix's room, passing the nursery where Bebe was trying to put baby Matthew to sleep by holding him in her arms and rocking him in a rocking chair. Upon arriving to her brother's room, Isabella knocked.
"Big brother, are you there?" Isabella asked
"What do you want?" Felix asked agitated. Isabella walked inside to see Felix, laying down on his bed as he listens to the rainfall outside. "Why can't you just let me mourn!?" Felix asked.
"Brother, this has gone on long enough." Isabella said. "It's been three weeks since daddy died, and one week since his funeral, and you're still laying in here all sad. Have you even smiled once in the past week?"
"Izzy, there's a reason why I'm acting like this." Felix said.
"What could possibly be the reason for you acting the way you are?" Isabella asked. "Enlighten me."
Felix took a deep breath and let out a sigh. "Alright." He began. "I've been trying to keep this in as long as I can but…let me ask you something. Do you believe in karma?"
"What's that?" Asked Isabella
"You know, karma: the sum of a person's actions in this and previous states of existence, viewed as deciding their fate in future existences." Felix explained
"In English please?" Isabella said.
"Pretty much I do something bad, then something bad happens to me later down the line." Felix explained.
"Oh, that makes some sense." Isabella said. "Go on."
"Do you remember when I said that our friend's parents will never know how Lyra's dad really feels?" Felix said. "Well, I think God punished me for saying that by taking our father away from us. Now look. Because of what I said, everyone is so unhappy and Matthew will never know what's it's like to have a father figure in his life!"
Felix was feeling very guilty at this moment in time. He looked at his sister, ready to cry. "Why did I say that?" He said. "It should have been me, not my father!"
"Felix…" Isabella began. "I think I get it. You think you're at fault for our dad's death because of something you said?"
Felix nodded and said, "If we learned anything from church, God is an all powerful being, so he must have heard what I said, and killed dad to teach me a lesson. Just knowing that he's dead, and everyone around me is upset all because I couldn't keep my mouth shut…I don't know how to live with myself."
With that, Felix got up from his bed. "I need to tell mom." He said, "Only then will my conscience be clean."
Felix left his room and found Bebe leaving the nursery, having successfully put Matthew down for his nap. Bebe looks at Felix walking up to her with Isabella walking behind.
Bebe smiled seeing her son out of his room. "Hi, Felix, how are you sweet…"
She was cut off with a big hug from her son, who began crying into her.
"Hey, what's the matter?" Bebe said hugging her son back.
"I'm so sorry, mom." Felix sobbed.
"Sorry? For what?" Bebe asked
"Well, let me explain," Felix said, "Back in June when our friends came to visit, I noticed how you were all trying to sympathize with Mr. Marsh and understand how he feels. It was then I said, "I don't think they'll know how Mr. Marsh feels until they lose someone they love." Because of what I said, I think God may have killed dad to teach me a lesson." Felix let out a few more sobs before talking some more. "It's all my fault. I made everyone so upset, and I ruined any chance of my baby brother having a dad in his life."
Bebe held her son warmly, allowing him to cry as much as he wanted. "There, there, sweetie." Bebe said. "It's not your fault."
"It's not?" Felix sniveled.
"No." Bebe answered. "Your father's death was something that was out of our control."
"You mean it had nothing to do with what I said?" Felix asked tearfully.
"Of course not." Bebe said, beginning to tear up as well. "Fate just decided that it was your father's time to go. You had no part in his death, and it is far from your fault."
"But father…he doesn't know what I said. What if he finds out?" Felix asked.
"He won't see his death as your fault either. He'll know as well as I do that fate decided his time was up." Bebe said. "Just remember that I always love you, and dead or alive, your father loves you very much too. No matter what happens. No matter what you do or say, you'll always be my wonderful son."
"Mother…" Felix continued to cry into his mother's shoulder. Isabella walked over to her brother and mother and joined the two of them in a heartfelt group hug.
The Broflovskis weren't the only ones in discord. Stan and Lyra Marsh were facing troubles of their own due to the latter learning the truth about Wendy. Lyra was mad at her father, her friends and their parents, and her grandparents on both sides of the family for not telling her about her mother's death sooner.
Anytime her friends wanted to hang out with her she'd quickly decline their offer. Anytime her grandparents or Stan's friends came to visit, Lyra would hang out in another room and play on her Switch or write in her journal. It was almost as if Lyra wanted nothing to do with any of them.
Eventually, Stan decided to confront Lyra about her recent behavior once and for all. With it being a rainy day outside, and the father and daughter are stuck in the house with nothing to do, now would be a good a time as any.
Stan walked up to his daughter's room and knocked on the door.
"Hey, sweetie, it's me." Stan said. "Can we talk, please?"
Instead of a straight forward answer, all Stan got was a piece of paper that was slipped underneath the door. On the piece of paper was the word, "Enter" written on it. Stan opened the door to Lyra's bedroom and found his daughter staring out her window watching the rain fall outside.
"So what, now you're not going to talk to me?" Stan said a little irritated. Lyra didn't answer her father much to Stan's dismay.
"Okay, Lyra, this has gone on long enough." Stan said. "I get it, I messed up big time by not telling you about your mother's death sooner, and yes you have a right to being upset, but we need to hash this out right here and now. You haven't talked with any of your friends, their parents, or your grandparents in a week. You shouldn't take your anger out on them, especially since I was the one who told them to take part in my lie. What I'm trying to say is you should be mainly mad at me for having deceived you like that and leave everyone else out of it as they were just roped into my madness. Heck, they even told me to tell you the truth but I was too stupid and afraid of how you'll take the news that I kept the lie going. I should've listen to them, then maybe we could've avoided all this conflict. I love you, Lyra, and I'm sorry for having lied to you all these years. Do you forgive me?"
Lyra just continued to look out her window. Instead of answering her father's plea of forgiveness, she answered with this question: "Do you blame me, dad?"
Stan looked confused. "Blame you for what?" He asked.
"My mom." Lyra answered as she turned to face Stan. "They said she died after she gave birth to me. I've heard stories about cases like this where the father blames the child for the passing of their mother. So I want to know, do you blame me for my mom's death?"
"Shit!" Stan thought. "This is exactly what I was afraid of."
"Answer the question, dad!" Lyra demanded.
"Lyra, you know it wasn't your fault." Stan answered. "Your mother's death was something that was out of our control. I don't blame you at all."
"These words you're saying, what if they're more lies?" Lyra said. "What if you really do blame me?"
"I don't, Lyra." Stan said.
"Deep down inside, I know for a fact that you secretly hate me for having taken mom away." Lyra said. "You just won't say it to my face. So let's hear it, dad. I want to hear you say that it was my fault!"
"I'm not going to say that Lyra, because it's simply not true!" Stan scolded.
"It's like you always say dad, the truth will set you free!" Lyra said. "Go ahead, lay it on me! Say it was my fault! I want to hear those words come out of your mouth!"
"Well you're not going to get it!" Stan said.
"It's my fault and you wish it was me instead of her, don't you dad?!" Lyra shouted.
"No!" Stan shouted
"Admit it!" Lyra demanded.
"No!"
"Admit it!"
"Lyra, no!"
"ADMIT IT!"
"NO!"
"ADMIT IT!"
"FINE, DAMN IT, FINE!" Stan screamed. "IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN YOU INSTEAD OF YOUR MOM! IT IS ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD! I BLAME YOU AND I ALWAYS HAVE! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW! IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED TO HEAR?!
Stan panted and calmed down. At first Lyra looked visibly hurt, but that expression soon turned to an angry pout as she stared at her father stoically. She didn't get angry or snap back at her father. She just turned around and went back to looking out her window. As she did that, Stan had a look of shock on his face, disgusted with himself on how he lost his temper.
"Oh God, what did I say?" Stan horrifically thought to himself. "I let my own daughter push me into a corner and force me to yell something that isn't true."
As Lyra watched the rain fall outside, she took a glance of hatred back at her father. "At least you finally told the truth." She said calmly. "It just took you nine years too late."
Stan looked at Lyra as she stared out the window. He felt awful for having snapped at his daughter like that. He genuinely didn't blame Lyra for the death of Wendy. He was just pushed into a corner and reacted out of stress. He heard Lyra sniffle and quietly whimper. She was crying.
Stan felt even worse for making his daughter cry. He sat down at the foot of her bed, hands on his head. Stan wanted to cry with her. "Lyra, I'm sorry." He said. "I didn't mean it."
"Yes you do." Lyra said with a shaky voice. "I know you do. I wouldn't be surprised if everyone hates me for what I've done...even I hate me. I don't even care that you all lied to me all this time anymore. I only care about the mother that I never had…because I killed her. I don't blame you if you hate me."
"I don't think that way Lyra. Honest. And I definitely don't hate you." Stan said. "I just lost my temper. Words spoken out of anger are almost never true. And everyone doesn't hate you. You know just as well as I do that what happened to your mother was something out of our control and it could've happened to anyone."
Lyra turned to her father with tears in her eyes. Stan continued to talk saying, "I'm sorry for snapping at you, lying at you, and I'm sorry if that makes me the worst father in the world in your eyes. I love you, Lyra. Nothing you do or say, or any other external force can change that fact. You're my only daughter. You're the greatest thing I've ever achieved, above the victories I won in war and above all my accomplishment at the precinct. You're greater than all of that. Please find it in your heart to forgive me and give me a second chance."
Lyra teared up even more and ran into her father's arms, tacking him onto her bed. They lay on the bed, holding each other, Lyra bawling her eyes out over everything that has happened.
"Sssshhhh, it's okay sweetie, I'm here." Stan said stroking her hair.
"I'm so sorry, dad." Lyra sobbed. "For acting like such a brat, and for the death of mom."
"Lyra, your mom's death wasn't your fault." Stan said. "It never was and never will be your fault. You want to know how I know?"
"H-How?" Lyra asked.
"Call me crazy, but I like to think that a part of your mom lives in you." Stan answered. "When I held you on the night you were born, I saw images of her life in your eyes. Me and her as kids, our wedding day, stuff like that."
"So it's almost as if mom never left us?" Lyra asked, calming down.
"Essentially." Stan said. "Another way I like to look at this is that you were her last gift to me, something that I can always cherish and be proud of. If that's the case then you are the greatest gift I've ever gotten, not just from your mother, but in general."
Lyra smiled at that statement as the two of them sat up. "Speaking of gifts there's something I want to give you." Stan said as he got off the bed and left Lyra's bedroom. Stan came back a few moments later carrying a small box. He opened it up in front of Lyra to reveal beautiful diamond necklace.
"Wow, what a pretty necklace!" Lyra said in awe.
"Your mother wore this on our wedding day." Stan explained. "I wanted to give this to you when you got married, but now it'll serve as a way for you to honor your mother. Wearing this necklace is another way to show us that she never really left."
"W-Wait…you're giving this to me?" Lyra asked. Stan nodded his head and Lyra got excited. "Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!"
Lyra put the diamond necklace on her neck and had the biggest smile on her face. "Mom must have had a good taste in jewelry." She said
"She sure did." Stan said as he looked at her daughter wearing her mother's necklace. "You look just like your mother on our wedding day." The sight of Lyra wearing her mother's necklace was enough to make Stan shed manly tears of joy.
Lyra went to the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror with pride. Stan followed her and smiled warmly at her. "This necklace is the best present I've ever gotten, daddy!" Lyra said. "Is it really mother's?"
"I swear to God." Stan said, "I'm telling the truth this time."
"In that case, I promise to take really good care of it." Lyra said looking at the necklace in the mirror, "I won't let anything bad happen to it. I'll treasure this necklace forever."
"I'm glad to hear that." Stan said, "I just want to say again, I'm sorry for having lied to you. From now on, Lyra, when something is going on I'm going to tell you the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. You're growing older with each passing moment and it's time I start treating you like an adult"
"I appreciate that, dad." Lyra said.
"Well, I don't know about you, but I'm feeling hungry." Stan said. "How about we go to the store and buy some taco ingredients for a taco dinner tonight."
"That sounds wonderful!" Lyra said happily.
"Come along then." Stan said, motioning for his daughter to follow him to their car so they can go to the store.
Later that night, the rain has stopped, and there's a half moon in the clear starlit sky. The Broflovski residence is quiet as Bebe and her three kids are fast asleep. However, while Isabella, Matthew, and their mother are having pleasant dreams, It's Felix's dream that'll be focused on. He's tossing and turning in his bed as he's having this dream.
Inside this dream, Felix found himself on a grassy plain, no trees in the sight with mountains in the distance and a clear blue sky. There were birds chirping and a gentle wind blowing. Felix looked around confused. "Where am I?" He thought.
Felix walked around for a while before a flash of light appeared behind him. He turned around and saw his father, Kyle Broflovski, standing there. Felix was speechless.
"Hey, Felix." Kyle said
"D-D-Daddy!" Felix ran to his father with tears in his eyes and he hugged him. "Oh my god, I'm so happy to see you!"
Felix was happy to see his father again, but his joy soon disappeared when he realized that not only was this a dream, but Kyle never knew what it was that Felix had said in regards to sympathizing with those who lost a loved one.
"Wait, dad, there's something I have to tell you…"
"I know, son." Kyle said, "I know about what you said and I know about how you're feeling right now. I just want to say right now that your mother was right. I don't blame you in the slightest for my death. It was something that was completely out of our control. Everyone's death is something out of our control. We all have a fate that we're given and we have no choice but to accept it. I've made peace with my fate."
"I think I get it." Felix said. "But you're not mad?"
Kyle shook his head before hugging his son again. "My son," Kyle said, "I'm so proud of the young man that you're becoming, I just wish I could be there physically to continue watching you grow."
"You'll always be in my thoughts and in my heart, dad." Felix said causing his father to smile. "I'm just worried about my mom, Izzy, and baby Matthew. Especially since Matthew is going to grow up without a wise and caring father like yourself."
"Don't worry about them, Felix." Kyle said. "Good things are sure to come their way, and yours especially. You have an amazing destiny ahead of you, son, I can feel it."
"You think so?" Felix asked.
"I know so." Kyle responded. The father and son released the hug and looked into each other's eyes, "I'm afraid I have to go now, Felix."Kyle said.
"I know," Felix said. "I love you dad." Felix said
"I love you too son, I hope we can see each other real soon." Kyle said as he disappeared in a flash of light, leaving Felix alone on the grassy plain.
Outside of the dream, Felix has a small tear of joy coming from his closed eye and a small smile spread across his face.
His ordeal is over…
TO BE CONTINUED…
(Cue Don't Think Twice by Hikaru Utada (Once again, characters and events that have yet to appear/happen will be mentioned here))
(How did I live in a kingdom of thieves? And people who say things they don't really mean?)
(It's a sunny day and Wendy and Stan are dancing together outside and right next to them are Kyle and Bebe, who are also dancing. Suddenly, the sunny skies turn stormy and Wendy is ripped away from Stan, and Kyle is ripped away from Bebe, both couples trying in vein to reach out to one another. Wendy and Kyle go up into the sky, can the ground gives weight for Stan and Bebe to fall down)
(You're only everything I ever dreamed. Ever dreamed of, ever dreamed of)
(As Stan and Bebe fall, they are enveloped by a red colored paint type substance. Behind the paint is a shadowy figure. It smiles evilly. This figure is one of Jacques Brodeur)
(You must be kidding me, did you really think I could say no?)
(Stan's daughter Lyra, and Bebe's son Felix are running through a grassy plain and two balls of light fall from the sky. The light balls reveal themselves as Wendy and Kyle, who hold their hands out to their children)
(I want you for a lifetime. So if you're gonna think twice, baby. I don't wanna know, baby, I don't wanna know)
(Cartman is standing in front of a statue of a heart. He pulls out a gun and shoots it, causing it to break. Shelly then appears and collapses to the ground, heartbroken)
(Everything is just right. But if you're gonna think twice, baby. I don't wanna know, baby, I don't wanna know)
(Sometime later, Cody Oppenheimer finds the broken pieces of the heart and puts them back together)
(I really don't get what everyone else believes. So why do I say things I don't really mean, really mean.)
(Late at night, Lola and Kenny are in bed. But while Lola is sleeping, Kenny is looking up more information about the crystals he heard about in war)
(I'm only crying 'cause I never dreamed. It'd take this long, it'd take this long)
(Kenny thinks about General Rakish with the big purple crystal floating over him. Suddenly, eight more smaller crystals circle around the big purple one: A red one, a blue one, a green one, a gold one, a pink one, an orange one, a white one, and a black one)
(I want you for a lifetime. So if you're gonna think twice, baby. I don't wanna know, baby, I don't wanna know.)
(General Rakish turns into another villain, Carlos Murciélago. The crystals are still floating over him, and the background changes to the grassy plain from before. The main adults and children are watching in horror at the sight before them)
(Everything is just right. But if you're gonna think twice, baby. I don't wanna know, baby, I don't wanna know)
(Carlos summons a demon warship from out of nowhere and easily takes out the adults and younger children, much to the older children's horror)
(Don't think twice, don't think twice. Don't think twice, baby, don't think twice)
(The children are crying and look like they're going to lose hope when an astral projection of Sir Justice appears. The sight of the unknown hero inspires the children to not give up and put the villain down. The children and Sir Justice charge at Carlos and the warship)
(If you want to take it to an even higher level. All you gotta do is say the word, you know I'll follow. If you wanna take it to an even higher level. I don't, I don't bite)
(Outside of the dream, Isabella Broflovski is looking at a picture of Kyle. Behind him Stan places a hand on her shoulder, which Isabella brushes off and walks away)
(If you want to make it happen, nothing's impossible. All you gotta do is say the word, the walls will crumble. If you want to make it happen, nothing's impossible)
(Shelly gets up from her heartbreak and finds Cody holding a hand out to pick her up. Shelly grabs Cody's hand and we cut to the next scene)
(I want you for a lifetime. So if you're gonna think twice, baby. I don't wanna know, baby, I don't wanna know)
(Stan and Jacques are fighting for Bebe's affections)
(Everything is just right. But if you're gonna think twice, baby. I don't wanna know, baby, I don't wanna know)
(Felix and Lyra are in a dark area, the look behind them to find a older, dying boy in a hospital bed. This boy is named Byron. Lyra and Felix try and run to the hospital bed to see him, but once again, the ground gives weight and the two kids fall into darkness)
(Kiss me once, kiss me twice, kiss me three times. Cross the line)
(Stan and Bebe are alone on a hill somewhere admiring the sunset. The two of them look into each other's eyes before making a move to kiss each other)
(Don't think twice, don't think twice. Don't think twice, baby, don't think twice)
(Cut to night time on that same hill where the Marshes, Broflovskis, Donovans, Tweaks, Tuckers, Cartmans, Stotches, McCormicks, and Oppenheimers are looking up at a full moon. Some of the kids are asleep, but those who are awake are enjoying the company and the beauty of the night sky)