South Park in the Emotional Warzone Chapter 6: Just a Normal Eye Exam
The next nine months came and went, and with it a new year, 2020. Everyone entered the new year wiser, and with much optimism. Stan gained the confidence to tell his daughter the truth about anything and everything, and made a promise to try not to conceal her from the real world. Lyra was adjusting perfectly fine now that she knows the truth about Wendy, still wearing her diamond necklace with pride, and she's learning to be more independent. On top of that, Lyra has buried the hatchet with her friends, their parents, and her grandparents and they are all now on good terms again.
Even though she still missed Kyle greatly, Bebe tried to put herself out there again so her kids can have a father figure to look up to. Felix has come to grips with his father's death, and he's back to the happy boy he was before.
Everybody started the new year off on the right foot, and now it was mid-May of 2020, Monday May 18th to be precise. The end of the week, Saturday May 23rd, would be the day of Kenny and Lola's wedding.
We begin this chapter at the South Park Police Station, where Officer Stan Marsh had just finished a ride along program with a 20 year old college student. The shift mainly consisted of Stan showing the student the ins and outs of being a police officer. He got to show him how to handle a domestic dispute in a suburban home, a Code Adam at the local supermarket, a drug bust behind South Park Mall, and they got the chance to pull over a few cars that were driving over the speed limit. They went out to Sizzler for lunch, Stan's treat, and while they ate Stan told the student all about his time in Iraq and how he took down General Rakish. It was a very good shift for him.
Stan and the college student get out of the police car with the former ready to clock out of his shift.
"Thanks for the ride along, Officer Marsh." Said the college student. "I hope I get the chance to work alongside you someday, sir."
"I hope so too, son." Stan said back. "You're a good kid. Take it easy and don't do anything I wouldn't do."
"Of course, bye!" Said the college student as his taxi came up for him. Stan went inside the precinct to punch out when the chief came up to him with a phone.
"Ah, Marsh, perfect timing." The chief said handing Stan the phone. "Phone for you."
"Who is it?" Stan asked.
"It's from the South Park Elementary School Nurse's Office." The chief answered. "Your daughter was complaining about headaches and blurry vision. I'd answer the call if I were you."
Stan took the phone from the police chief and was on the phone with the school's nurse. "Lyra's having headaches and blurry vision?" Stan asked worriedly.
"Yes, Mr. Marsh." The nurse said on the other end. "From what she told us, today in math class, she couldn't read the math problems on the board without walking up to it to get a closer look."
"I see." Said Stan
"And a few moments before Lyra came into my office, she couldn't read the sign of which bathroom to go into so she accidently walked into the boys room by mistake." The nurse continued. "Thankfully this is her first offense so the principal let her off with a warning. But Lyra's eyesight is still a cause for concern. I gave her an eye test and she did very poorly."
"How long has she had this problem?" Stan asked. "I mean, poor eyesight doesn't just happen overnight."
"From what Lyra told us, she's been having vision problems since last Thursday." The nurse said, much to Stan's shock.
"Why didn't she tell me?" Stan asked.
"She said she didn't want you to worry, Mr. Marsh." The nurse answered. "Anyway, I gave Lyra a note to go see Dr. Barbara Broflovski later this afternoon. I'd have her go to the doctor and sort this problem out if I were you."
"Of course." Stan said. "Thank you for telling me. Bye."
Stan hung up the phone, punched out, and drove to South Park Elementary to pick his daughter up so they can go to the eye doctor. As the father and daughter drove through the town, they conversed about Lyra's current situation.
"I don't understand it, Lyra." Stan said. "You've been having eye problems since last week and you didn't tell me. Why?"
"I just didn't want you to worry, daddy." Lyra answered. "I know how you get when you worry."
"Oh, Lyra, you're my only daughter. Of course I'm going to worry about you when something's up." Stan said. "You know, part of being independent is learning when to get help when something is wrong."
"I thought being independent meant doing stuff on your own." Lyra said. "Doesn't asking someone for help defeat the purpose?"
"Not if it involves your health and wellbeing, sweetie." Stan said. "Just promise me next time anything health related happens to you you'll come to me for advice no matter how embarrassing the issue may be."
"Embarrassing how?" Lyra asked confused.
"Just let me know when you feel bloated, or blood starts coming out of your bathing suit area." Stan said.
"B-B-Blood…" Lyra said, feeling her skin crawl from that statement.
"Don't worry, sweetie, it's totally normal." Stan said. "You won't die, it doesn't mean you're sick, it's just a normal part of growing up for every girl."
"Oh, okay." Lyra said feeling calm again.
A few minutes later they arrive at the optometrist office where Bebe works. The father and daughter duo walked into the building and went to the reception desk, where the receptionist had Stan sign out some forms. "Once you get those forms filled out, you may head to the waiting area." The receptionist said. "Dr. Broflovski will be with you in a moment."
Stan signed the forms and he and Lyra walked over to the waiting area where, to Lyra's surprise, they found Felix and Isabella sitting in front of the T.V they had there. They were watching Gravity Falls on Disney XD. The brother and sister usually hang out in the waiting room of the optometrist office after school, waiting for their mother to finish her shift. As for Matthew, Bebe worked out a schedule with her parents and Kyle's parents so everyone knows who is babysitting him.
"Felix, Izzy, hey!" Lyra called over.
Felix and Isabella turned to greet their friend. Lyra hugged her two friends, happy to see them. The two of them heard about what happened with Lyra that day and they wanted to make sure everything was okay.
"So what happened?" Isabella asked. "I heard you were in the nurses office because of headaches."
"And on top of that, I heard from Bobby Melman that you walked into the boy's bathroom." Felix said causing Lyra to blush in embarrassment.
"Yeah, not my proudest moment." Lyra said. "The only reason I walked in there was because I couldn't read the signs. It looked blurry to me. I guess that blunder is why I'm here now."
Isabella rubbed Lyra's shoulder saying, "Don't worry, my mom is a great eye doctor. I'm sure she'll figure out what's wrong with your eyes and maybe even give you a lollipop if you're good."
"Hope she has strawberry flavored ones." Lyra said licking her lips.
"Mom doesn't have lollipops, Lyra, Izzy is just making stuff up again." Felix said.
"Well that's disappointing." Lyra pouted.
"Tell you what, Lyra, if you're real good for Dr. Broflovski, I'll take you out for some ice cream after this." Stan said.
Lyra smiled in agreement, saying, "And that's how you bring a smile to a young girl's face."
It was at this moment when Bebe came out of her office. She was wearing a white coat that most doctors of most medical professions wear, a black skirt that reach just below her knee, some black shoes. "Lyra Marsh, I'm ready to see you now." Bebe said.
"Okay." Lyra said as she and Stan walked with Bebe into her office. Felix and Isabella followed behind. Lyra noticed this and turned to her friends. "You two are coming in with me?"
"Of course." Isabella answered. "As your best friends, it's our job to be there for you during times like these…"
"Coming up next, it's Star vs. The Forces of Evil on Disney XD," came an announcement from the T.V that was left on in the waiting room, cutting Isabella off.
"…Except right now." Isabella went back to the waiting room excited to watch the show that was about to come on. Felix groaned and looked at Lyra. "Sorry, Lyra," he said, "I'd love to be here for you but I can't leave my kid sister out here alone."
"It's okay, I understand." Lyra said.
"You're a very good big brother, Felix." Stan said.
"He most certainly is." Bebe said before motioning the Marshes into her office. "Come along now." The three went into the office and closed the door behind them.
Bebe's office had the normal exam chair that you'd see in most eye doctor's offices, a desk and filing cabinet where she'd place important papers, a retinal camera placed on another desk, an eye chart and poster of the anatomy of the eyeball on the light green colored walls, and a small plant in the corner of the room.
"Please, have a seat right here, Lyra." Bebe said, motioning the girl over to the retinal camera. Lyra sat down on the stool in front of said camera and, having an idea on what she had to do, placed her eyes in front of the camera.
"Okay, Lyra, you're going to see a green light." Bebe explained. "Tell me if you see it."
"Yeah, I see it." Lyra said.
"Good." Bebe said. "Just open your eyes up nice and wide."
Lyra did as she was told, but she was confused. "So, Mrs. Broflovski, what are you trying to…"
POOF!
"GAH!" Lyra shouted. When the camera took the picture, it let out a flash that almost startled the girl right out of the stool.
"Lyra, are you okay?" Stan said concerned.
"What the 'H' was that?" Lyra asked.
"Retinal camera." Bebe explained. "I needed to take a picture of your eyes so we can get a better idea on what we're dealing with." Bebe looked at the picture of Lyra's eyes on her end of the camera. "By using this camera I can get a better look at the optic nerves and blood vessels in your eyes to see if anything is wrong."
Bebe continued to examine her eyes for a while, writing down the results on her clipboard. "Alright, Lyra, now I need you take a seat in the exam chair and we'll get the meat of this exam out of the way." She said.
After getting the biggest shock of her life in the form of the retinal camera, Lyra reluctantly sat in the exam chair.
"Comfy?" Asked Bebe
"Yup." Lyra answered.
"Okay, let's do this." Bebe said lowering the phoropter machine, and bringing it in front of Lyra's face. The machine had the right lens blocked but the left lens open so the girl could see.
"Lyra, what I want you to do now is look at the eye chart in front of you." Bebe explained. "Tell me how it looks."
"Blurry. Very, very, blurry." Lyra said.
"That's what you see now." Bebe answered before flipping a switch, making the chart look more clear to Lyra. "How does it look now?"
"Much better, actually." Lyra answered,
"You think you can read the ninth line down?" Bebe asked.
"No, I can read up until the seventh line." Lyra said.
Bebe kept flipping the switch until the whole chart appeared clear for Lyra. Once her left eye was taken care of, the process was repeated for the right eye. Once both eyes were taken care of, Bebe flipped another switch to open up both lenses of the machine, allowing Lyra to read the eye chart thoroughly. After that, the eye exam came to a close.
"We're done?" Lyra asked.
"Yes, we're done." Bebe said. "You were a very good patient today."
"So, what's the prognosis?" Stan asked.
"Lyra just needs a nice pair of glasses. That's all." Bebe said
"Aw, no, I'm going to be a four eyed freak!" Lyra cried. "Everyone's going to make fun of me at school."
"Don't worry, Lyra." Stan said. "If anyone makes fun of you or your glasses, just say something like, 'They help me see how much of a jerk you are.'"
"Or you could flip them off by pushing the bridge of your glasses up with your middle finger." Bebe chimed in, causing Lyra to chuckle.
Stan opened the door for Lyra saying, "Why don't you go pick out a pair of glasses, sweetie, while Mrs. Broflovski and I discuss payment."
"Okay, dad." Lyra said as she walked out of the office and towards the area where all of the glasses were. Isabella and Felix decided to keep her company as she shopped. Lyra grabbed a pair of glasses with round grey frames.
"So what do you think of these?" Lyra asked as she put the glasses on.
"I never was a fan of round frames." Felix said. "But if you like them, who are we to judge?"
"I just want to get your guys' honest opinion" Lyra said putting the glasses back. "So how's baby Matthew?"
"He's doing fine." Isabella said. "Grandma Sheila and Grandpa Gerald are watching him. Ever since daddy died they feel as though Matthew is the only link to him they have left."
"Matthew's birthday is coming up in a few months." Lyra said. "Do you guys have any plans for his first birthday?"
"We'll probably just have a barbecue in the backyard and invite our closes friends and family." Felix answered. "Mom is taking requests for food you want now."
"Okay." Lyra said as she grabbed another pair of glasses, this one being blue and half frame. "So, how are you guys holding up after Mr. Broflovski's death.?"
"Well, we've all come to terms, especially me." Felix answered.
"It doesn't change the fact that we miss him though." Isabella continued. "Before Matthew's birthday we're going to go to the graveyard and put flowers on his grave."
"That sounds nice." Lyra said putting the blue half frame glasses back and grabbing black oval frame glasses. She looked at herself in the mirror and smiled. "I think I found the pair that's right for me."
Felix gave a thumbs up as Isabella said, "Absolutely beautiful, Lyra."
"I'm going to go tell daddy and Mrs. Broflovski that I found the glasses I like." Lyra said
"I'll come with you." Felix said.
"Well, if you two don't need me, I'm going back to my Disney XD." Isabella said before going back to the waiting room.
Lyra and Felix walked back to Bebe's office. When they got there, they heard Stan and Bebe talking. Curiously, the two kids opened the door a little bit and took a peek at what was going on.
"Here you go, Bebe." Stan said handing her a check.
"Thank you very much, Stan." Bebe said taking the check in putting it in the pocket on her lab coat. "So how's Lyra been doing?"
"She's doing great." Stan answered. "Still an honor student, never failing to make me proud."
"Yeah, she definitely inherited Wendy's intelligence." Bebe said. "If she plays her cards right she may very well have a bright future ahead of herself. Probably brighter than most of ours."
"Maybe." Stan said with a smile. It was then he noticed Bebe tugging at the collar of her undershirt. "You warm?" Stan asked.
"Yeah." Bebe answered. "I've just got to take this lab coat off for a little bit."
Bebe took off her lab coat to show that she's wearing a red, short sleeve, button up blouse. It was at that moment that Stan got a better look at Bebe's figure, and he liked what he saw. If most people saw Bebe in public, nobody would guess that she was the mother of three children. Those who did however consider her a stone cold MILF.
"Wow, Bebe, you look fantastic." Stan said, causing Bebe to blush.
"Thank you, Stan." Bebe said. "You really mean it?"
"Of course I do." Stan answered. "If you don't mind me saying you look just like you did in high school."
"Well, not to brag but I do try and hit the gym every so often." Bebe said. "Especially after my children were born and I had to drop some of that baby weight."
"It's clearly paid off." Stan said.
Felix and Lyra heard Stan complimenting Bebe's beauty from where they stood. Most kids would want to hack up their lunch if they saw their parents acting like this…But Lyra and Felix weren't most kids. They both thought it was cute how their respective parents were interacting. The two friends decided to continue listening in on the two adults in the office.
"So how have you been doing after Kyle's death?" Stan asked.
"I'm holding up the best I can." Bebe said. "But raising three kids by yourself is definitely easier said than done. That's why I feel lucky to have both my parents and Kyle's parents ready to help me when I need it, even being so nice as to give me a few bucks to help with groceries and bills. I have a feeling it'll only get tougher as they get older. That's why I'm trying to find a potential second husband so I can get another helping hand."
"How's that going?" Asked Stan.
"Not well." Bebe said. "When looking for my next husband, I need someone who likes kids, is able to support himself financially, and most important, the love between him and I has to be close to, if not, on par with the love Kyle and I shared."
Bebe leaned against the wall and looked down at the floor, continuing to vent her problems with Stan. "Ever since I put myself out there again, I dated three guys. The first one couldn't hold down a job and he still lives in his mother's basement. The second guy, I think, loves kids a little too much if you know what I mean, and I didn't feel comfortable about having him around me or my kids, and the third one I thought was going to be the right guy. He was handsome, charming, financially stable, got along great with my kids without it being creepy. He was just perfect…until I learned that bastard was already married and I was just his little 'side dish'."
Bebe then walked over to the stool in front of the retinal camera and sat on his, hand on her forehead. "Why is it so hard to look for the perfect man?" She asked herself.
"At least you're trying to put yourself out there. I'm still having trouble setting up a dating profile." Stan said as he knelt down and brought her face to his. "Hey, everything will be okay, Bebe. I know for a fact that the right guy will come for you. If not today then maybe tomorrow. Heck, for all we know your knight in shining armor could be in this very building right now and we wouldn't even know it. All I know is that any man would be lucky to have you as their wife."
"You really mean it?" Bebe asked.
"Hell yeah." Stan said. "You're beautiful, smart, kind. You have all of the good qualities anyone could ever want in a wife and a mother. Mark my words, this time next year, things will look up for you."
"Thanks Stan." Bebe said. Stan opened his arms so he could give her hug. He could tell that she really needed it.
"Bring it in." Stan said and the two adults held each other warmly. "And as far as your financial troubles, or problems involving your kids, are concerned, don't forget that I'm here to help also." Stan said. "As the best friend of your husband Kyle, and the husband of your best friend Wendy, I'd be glad to."
"Thank you so much, Stan." Bebe said with a warm smile. "I really appreciate it."
Having heard enough, Lyra and Felix closed the door and looked at each other with the biggest smiles on their faces.
"Lyra, did you see that?" Felix asked his friend.
"I sure did." Lyra said. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
"Does it involve getting your dad and my mom together?" Felix asked.
"Mmm-hmm." Lyra said with a nod.
"Yeah, it's perfect!" Felix said. "I mean, your dad complimented my mom, and he listened to her problems like any good man would."
"She even told him about what she wants in a man." Lyra said. "My dad is financially stable and likes kids, obviously because he has me. All that's left is for him and your mom to fall in love. The only question is how shall we do it?"
"Well the McKormick's wedding is coming up at the end of the week." Felix said, beginning the proposal of an idea. "Tell you what, I'll come up with a plan tonight. On Friday, the day before we leave for the wedding, I want you, Chelsea, Tommy, Larry, Barry, and Penny to meet Izzy, Matthew, and me at Grandma Sheila and Grandpa Gerald's house so we can go over my plan on how we can get our parents together."
"Sounds good." Lyra said.
"I already thought of the perfect name for this plan: Operation Cupid!" Felix said.
"Operation Cupid." Lyra said. "That has nice ring to it. I like it!"
"Yeah, because Cupid makes people fall in love, and that's what we're going to try and do with our parents." Felix explained.
"Yeah, I kind of got that." Lyra said bluntly.
"Sorry." Felix said. Suddenly, the office door opened and Stan and Bebe came out.
"Found a pair of glasses that you like, sweetie?" Stan asked.
"Yes dad." Lyra said.
Bebe looked at the glasses she chose. "They certainly are a nice pair of glasses." She said. "Those are our most popular ones too. I'd say you made the right choice."
Lyra smiled at that statement as Bebe continued to speak. "Come this way and I'll put the proper lenses in those frames."
"Okay, Lyra, I won't keep you." Felix said. "I guess I'll see you in school tomorrow?"
"Yup." Lyra said hugging Felix. "Good seeing you and Izzy." It was then she whispered in his ear. "Don't forget to make the plan."
Felix nodded and the duo released their hug as he went back to the waiting room with Isabella and Lyra went with Bebe and Stan to get her lenses.
"So what did you and Felix talk about while I was chatting with Mrs. Broflovski, sweetie?" Stan asked Lyra.
"Just talking about the wedding for the McKormick's." She answered.
"You're excited?" Bebe asked.
"You know it." Lyra said. "I haven't been to a wedding since Uncle Eric and Aunt Shelly's wedding four years ago."
"You look and sound more excited for this wedding than the last one." Stan said. "Any reason?"
"No, no reason, daddy." Lyra said before retreating to her thoughts.
"It's just that this wedding will end with you and Mrs. Broflovski being in deeper love than either of you ever thought possible."
TO BE CONTINUED…
(Cue Don't Think Twice by Hikaru Utada (Once again, characters and events that have yet to appear/happen will be mentioned here))
(How did I live in a kingdom of thieves? And people who say things they don't really mean?)
(It's a sunny day and Wendy and Stan are dancing together outside and right next to them are Kyle and Bebe, who are also dancing. Suddenly, the sunny skies turn stormy and Wendy is ripped away from Stan, and Kyle is ripped away from Bebe, both couples trying in vein to reach out to one another. Wendy and Kyle go up into the sky, can the ground gives weight for Stan and Bebe to fall down)
(You're only everything I ever dreamed. Ever dreamed of, ever dreamed of)
(As Stan and Bebe fall, they are enveloped by a red colored paint type substance. Behind the paint is a shadowy figure. It smiles evilly. This figure is one of Jacques Brodeur)
(You must be kidding me, did you really think I could say no?)
(Stan's daughter Lyra, and Bebe's son Felix are running through a grassy plain and two balls of light fall from the sky. The light balls reveal themselves as Wendy and Kyle, who hold their hands out to their children)
(I want you for a lifetime. So if you're gonna think twice, baby. I don't wanna know, baby, I don't wanna know)
(Cartman is standing in front of a statue of a heart. He pulls out a gun and shoots it, causing it to break. Shelly then appears and collapses to the ground, heartbroken)
(Everything is just right. But if you're gonna think twice, baby. I don't wanna know, baby, I don't wanna know)
(Sometime later, Cody Oppenheimer finds the broken pieces of the heart and puts them back together)
(I really don't get what everyone else believes. So why do I say things I don't really mean, really mean.)
(Late at night, Lola and Kenny are in bed. But while Lola is sleeping, Kenny is looking up more information about the crystals he heard about in war)
(I'm only crying 'cause I never dreamed. It'd take this long, it'd take this long)
(Kenny thinks about General Rakish with the big purple crystal floating over him. Suddenly, eight more smaller crystals circle around the big purple one: A red one, a blue one, a green one, a gold one, a pink one, an orange one, a white one, and a black one)
(I want you for a lifetime. So if you're gonna think twice, baby. I don't wanna know, baby, I don't wanna know.)
(General Rakish turns into another villain, Carlos Murciélago. The crystals are still floating over him, and the background changes to the grassy plain from before. The main adults and children are watching in horror at the sight before them)
(Everything is just right. But if you're gonna think twice, baby. I don't wanna know, baby, I don't wanna know)
(Carlos summons a demon warship from out of nowhere and easily takes out the adults and younger children, much to the older children's horror)
(Don't think twice, don't think twice. Don't think twice, baby, don't think twice)
(The children are crying and look like they're going to lose hope when an astral projection of Sir Justice appears. The sight of the unknown hero inspires the children to not give up and put the villain down. The children and Sir Justice charge at Carlos and the warship)
(If you want to take it to an even higher level. All you gotta do is say the word, you know I'll follow. If you wanna take it to an even higher level. I don't, I don't bite)
(Outside of the dream, Isabella Broflovski is looking at a picture of Kyle. Behind him Stan places a hand on her shoulder, which Isabella brushes off and walks away)
(If you want to make it happen, nothing's impossible. All you gotta do is say the word, the walls will crumble. If you want to make it happen, nothing's impossible)
(Shelly gets up from her heartbreak and finds Cody holding a hand out to pick her up. Shelly grabs Cody's hand and we cut to the next scene)
(I want you for a lifetime. So if you're gonna think twice, baby. I don't wanna know, baby, I don't wanna know)
(Stan and Jacques are fighting for Bebe's affections)
(Everything is just right. But if you're gonna think twice, baby. I don't wanna know, baby, I don't wanna know)
(Felix and Lyra are in a dark area, the look behind them to find a older, dying boy in a hospital bed. This boy is named Byron. Lyra and Felix try and run to the hospital bed to see him, but once again, the ground gives weight and the two kids fall into darkness)
(Kiss me once, kiss me twice, kiss me three times. Cross the line)
(Stan and Bebe are alone on a hill somewhere admiring the sunset. The two of them look into each other's eyes before making a move to kiss each other)
(Don't think twice, don't think twice. Don't think twice, baby, don't think twice)
(Cut to night time on that same hill where the Marshes, Broflovskis, Donovans, Tweaks, Tuckers, Cartmans, Stotches, McCormicks, and Oppenheimers are looking up at a full moon. Some of the kids are asleep, but those who are awake are enjoying the company and the beauty of the night sky)