South Park in the Emotional Warzone Chapter 7: A Plan is Born!
Like Felix said, the following Friday had Lyra, Chelsea, Tommy, Larry, Barry, Penny, meet him, Isabella, and Matthew in the backyard of Sheila and Gerald Broflovski's home so he could discuss with them his plan on getting Stan and Bebe together.
Lyra spread the word to her other five friends, but when Felix told Isabella about what was going on found out she had an aura of displeasure. Nevertheless, she decided to keep her comments to herself and see how this plan unfolds.
After school Friday, Sheila and Gerald heard a knock on the door. "I'll get it." Gerald said. He walked up to the door to find Chelsea, Lyra, Tommy, Barry, Larry, and Penny standing there.
"Hey kids." Gerald said.
"Hi, Mr. Broflovski." Chelsea said. "Is Felix here?"
"Yes." Gerald answered. "He, Izzy, and Matthew are in the backyard. They've been expecting you. Come on in."
Gerald led the six kids to the backyard where they all found Felix, Isabella, and Matthew settled around a picnic table. Matthew is sitting in a high chair on one end of the picnic table while a blackboard was standing on the other end. Gerald went back in the house as everyone else walked over to the picnic table.
"What's the deal here?" Larry asked.
"A beautiful plan in the works, my friend." Felix answered.
"Oh I'm so excited!" Penny exclaimed. "I hope this plan works. I'd love to see your mom and Lyra's dad together, Felix."
"I think that's what we'd all love to see, Penny." Felix said.
"Some more than others." Isabella muttered.
"Alright, Felix, what's the big plan you've got in store for our parents?" Lyra said
"Alright, first I want to thank you all for coming." Felix said.
"Not that we had much of a choice." Larry muttered, resulting in Chelsea elbowing him. "Let him talk, Larry." She said.
"Hang on, before we move any further, I want to bring something up." Penny said. "My mom is going to be bringing her new boyfriend to the wedding. His name is George Smith."
"The owner of 'Firkle's Music Emporium'?" Tommy asked
"The very same." Penny said proudly.
"Nice." Chelsea said. "Your mom's got a good one."
"Not to mention you probably get your music half off." Barry chimed in.
"With all due respect, Penny," Felix said clearing his throat. "Can we get back to the topic at hand, please?"
"By all means." Penny said.
"Okay, I call this Operation Cupid!" Felix began. "Mission objective: Get my mom and Lyra's dad together so that way they won't be so lonely, and so that Lyra, Matthew, Izzy, and I can have both a mother and a father in our lives."
Felix picked up a piece of chalk to write out step one. "Now then, Step 1: The ride to the wedding." He said as he began writing a brick building on the chalk board. "If I'm not mistaken this thing is happen at the Della Terra Mountain Chateau in Estes Park?"
"You are correct my dear friend." Barry said.
"Excellent!" Felix exclaimed. "So, according to Google maps, from here to the chateau is about three hours. A lot of gas can be consumed in that amount of time. So I figured later tonight, I'll ask mom if she wants to let Mr. Marsh and Lyra ride along with us. All for the purpose of saving gas. But really, we're putting our plan into effect."
"Even if we weren't doing this as part of the plan, daddy and I would still appreciate riding along in your car, Felix." Lyra said. "As much as I enjoy riding in our car, it is a total gas guzzler."
"I know what you mean." Felix said. "The price of gas is ridiculous. At least that's what mom says."
Felix erased the blackboard and started to draw a road with a whole bunch of cars on it. "Since we'll be riding on Interstate 70, on a Saturday no less, I'm anticipating a lot of traffic on the road ahead." He said. "What better way to pass time in a traffic jam than listening to some music."
"Oh, you're going to play music to set the mood?" Chelsea asked.
"Not set the mood as much as something for Mr. Marsh and my mom to bond over." Felix answered before turning to Lyra. He handed her a pen and a piece of paper with a list of songs. "Here Lyra, these are the songs that I found on my mom's iPod." Felix said. "All you need to do is circle the ones that your dad likes."
Lyra did as she was told, circling all the songs that her father listened too and liked before giving it back to Felix.
"Alright." Felix said looking over the list of songs. Once he read the list over, he folded the list up and put it in his pants pocket. He erased the image of the road from the blackboard and replaced it with a picture ripped straight from a state of Colorado Road Map. He stuck it into the blackboard using a glue stick that he had in his other pocket. Once the map was glued onto the board he took out a red marker from a box he had laying on the picnic table.
"Okay, next part of the plan: Lunchtime. I looked it up online and there's a diner right here on Rt. 6." Felix said circling the location on the map. "It's called the Golden Diner or something like that. I figured while we're there we can give our parents some alone time, you know so they can just chat, talk about grown up stuff."
"While that is a good idea, there's no way your parents will let you, Lyra, Izzy, and Matthew sit at another table by yourselves." Barry said.
"That's because we're going to meet someone and sit at their table, and observe our parents from afar." Felix said.
"You're going to be sitting at a stranger's table?" Barry said. "That's even worse!"
"Not just any stranger." Felix answered before turning to Chelsea and Tommy. "Chelsea, Tommy, what time do you guys plan on leaving tomorrow?"
"Dad said he wanted to leave at 9:45 tomorrow morning at the latest." Chelsea answered. "Why?"
"Perfect!" Felix exclaimed. "I ask because I want the four of us to sit with you and your family, and we can watch Mr. Marsh and my mom from your table. Just tell them to take a detour for the Golden Diner."
"Do you really think Mr. and Mrs. Donovan would let you four sit with them?" Penny asked.
"I don't see why not." Tommy said. "Our parents love you guys."
"We'll ask them when we see them tomorrow." Lyra said.
"Just remember, you guys have to get to the Golden Diner first." Felix said. "The six of us will try and leave South Park fifteen minutes after you guys so that way we can make it look like we're meeting you there, and we can be all like 'OMG I can't believe it's you! What a surprise! Small world!' Our parents can have no idea we planned this. We can tell Mr. and Mrs. Donovan what's going on but only if they promise to keep their mouths shut about it."
"Sounds good." Tommy said taking a puff from his inhaler.
"Excellent. Now, onto the next part." Felix said before taking a bottle filled with a purple liquid and placing it on top of the table. "Tell me everyone, what do you see here?"
"Looks like juice." Larry said.
"Not just any juice." Felix said before turning the bottle around to reveal the label. "It's prune juice."
"How is prune juice going to help us, Felix?" Lyra asked with much skepticism.
"Well, prune juice is very helpful when one needs to make number two." Felix explained, before pointing at his baby brother Matthew. "Enter my little brother Matthew: A 10 month old baby whose job is to fill up every diaper he gets as quickly as possible."
"Where are you going with this?" Lyra asked, still somewhat confused.
"Let me explain." Felix said. "At the restaurant, I'll give Matthew his teething cookies, Honey Nut Cheerios, and apple juice. But I'm going to add another ingredient to that juice to give it a more, "pungent" taste."
"And that ingredient is the prune juice?" Tommy asked.
"Bingo!" Felix said. "I'm going to add a few drops into Matthew's apple juice. Just enough so that Matthew poops while we're on the last leg of our journey. When he does poop, mom will have to pull off somewhere to change his diaper. My hope is that Mr. Marsh will be nice enough to help her out in this endeavor, even if it's just handing her stuff like a clean diaper and baby powder. With any luck, that'll show mom how helpful he can be and maybe they'll grow closer from that."
"So let me get this straight, you're using your baby brother as a tool for getting Lyra's dad and your mom together?" Barry asked.
"Righty-o!" Felix said before turning to baby Matthew. "Who's gonna be my wittle juggernaut? You are! That's right you are!" He said with a cute voice and a smile on his face causing Matthew to giggle.
Felix regained his stoicism and composure before moving on to the next part of the plan. "Anywho, there should be a shuttle bus that'll take us from the hotel to the chateau, right?" He asked Larry.
"That's what mom said." Larry answered.
"Good." Felix said. "On the way there and back we've got to make sure those two are sitting next to each other."
With that, that part of Operation Cupid was done, but everyone else was expecting more from that portion of the plan.
"So that's it?" Penny asked. "You just have to make sure they're sitting next to each other on the shuttle bus?"
"Yeah I figured maybe on the way there they can chat and on the way back they can cuddle or something." Felix said.
"I thought this part would be as elaborate or well thought out like the others." Penny said.
"Well it's not!" Felix said sternly.
"Let's move on to the next part of the plan." Lyra suggested.
"Gladly." Felix said before turning to the McCormick twins. "But before I move on: Larry, Barry, you have the seating chart"
"Got it right here." Larry said before taking the list out of his pocket and giving it to Felix. "Why do you need the seating chart?"
"I want to see if this is one of those affairs that have a kid's table or not." Felix said. "The plan would work better if they did." He looked at the chart and saw that the wedding did, in fact, have some kid's tables. "Yes!"
"I don't understand." Barry said. "Why do you want kid's tables as part of your plan?"
"With us and our parents being tables apart, they'll be less likely to figure out that we're trying to fix them up." Felix explained.
"Speaking of which." Tommy began. "How do you plan on fixing them up at the wedding and reception?"
"For the wedding, my mom is already a bridesmaid, and Lyra's dad is already a groomsman." Felix explained. "We just have to make sure they walk up the aisle together. Is that what Mr. and Ms. McCormick intend?"
"Last I heard, our parents want your mom to walk up with Mr. Black, and Lyra's dad to walk up with Ms. Stoley." Larry said.
"They want it that way because both Mr. Black and Ms. Stoley are single, and they want to hook them up with your's and Lyra's respective parent so they can hopefully start up a relationship." Barry said.
"Well, tell them that we're trying to start up a relationship too: My dad and Mrs. Broflovski." Lyra said.
"Yeah, try and convince them to have our parents walk up together." Felix said. "They're going to compromise this whole plan if you don't!"
"How do we do that, dude?" Larry asked.
"I got it!" Lyra said snapping her fingers. "Tell them that since both of their respective loved ones died, they can probably find kinship in one another."
"That's genius, Lyra." Larry said. "Alright, we'll tell them that."
"Now then, onto the reception." Felix said moving onto the final stages of his plan. "I only have two huge things planned for this last phase because let's face it we'll probably be partying like the world is ending and we will easily lose sight of the mission at hand."
"Okay, let's hear it." Chelsea said.
"Alright, did you all get at least $10 each like we agreed?" Felix asked taking out his piggy bank from underneath the table. "If so put it on the center of the table."
All of the kids, sans for Matthew, put $10 in the middle of the picnic table. They got this money from either selling some toys they don't play with anymore, as a reward for doing chores, or by begging their parents to no end to give them the money.
"That's $80 exactly between the eight of us. I'm loving what I'm seeing here guys." Felix said taking the money and putting it his piggy bank.
"What's even the point of having this money?" Tommy asked.
"I thought you'd never ask." Felix said. "With this money, we're going to gift my mom and Mr. Marsh the sweetest bottle of wine that they offer at that chateau. My hopes here is that those two will get the hint that someone wants those two to get together. I'll drive the point home even further when I attach this note to the bottle."
Felix pulled out a small note that read: "You two look so cute together. Enjoy."
"I got my good old friend Bobby Melman to write this note so that way neither of them can recognize our handwriting." Felix explained.
"Very smart." Barry concurred.
"Just one problem." Lyra interjected. "While I'm on board with this, I've still gotta ask how we're going to get this wine. We're not even 21 years old yet."
"Easy, I'll just get somebody to buy the wine for us." Felix said.
"Not just anybody, Felix." Lyra said. "It has to be someone we can trust with $80."
"What do you mean when you say, 'someone we can trust'?" Felix asked.
"Think about it." Lyra began. "If someone just randomly gave you $80, what would instinct tell you to do?"
After an awkward silence, Felix finally answered his friend.
"Take the money and run." Felix answered.
"Exactly." Lyra said. "I mean, we're already going to tell Mr. and Mrs. Donovan our plan at the Golden Diner. Why don't we have them buy the wine?"
"Brilliant!" Felix exclaimed. "Lyra, I like you. You always think of things that I don't."
"One of us has to." Lyra said.
"Okay, time for the last step in our plan." Felix said. "Every good wedding has to have some real lovey-dovey kissy face song that all the grown-ups have to dance to. That's why I have this."
Felix took out a CD from his back pocket. "This CD has a song called Time After Time by some lady named Cyndi Lauper." Felix explained. "Apparently it's a good song to slow dance to. Anyway, I want this song to be played at the reception so that way Lyra's dad and my mom can dance together. Sort of as a way of capping of their evening."
"Isn't Time After Time the song they played in Stranger Things 2?" Chelsea asked.
"I freaking love that show." Barry said.
"Mommy won't let me watch that show." Penny said. "She said it'd give me nightmares."
"Can we get off of Stranger Things please?" Felix said annoyed.
"Oh please, Felix, we all know you like that show as much as the rest of us." Lyra said. "For God's sakes you have a crush on the actress that plays Max."
"I have a thing for redheads, Lyra, I can't help it." Felix said.
"A thing for redheads you say?" Chelsea said gently running her fingers through the long red hair on her head. "Good to know."
"Alright, let's get back on track, please! We're almost done." Felix said. "Alright, with that said, that is Operation Cupid. You all know your jobs. Chelsea and Tommy: Have your parents meet us at Golden Diner so we can involve them in our plan."
"Consider it done, Felix." Chelsea said.
"Larry, Barry, convince your parents to have my mom and Mr. Marsh walk up the aisle when they call for the bridesmaids and groomsmen."
"Got it, buddy." Larry said giving a thumbs up.
"That means Lyra, Izzy, Matthew and I will handle the rest." Felix said.
"Wait, what about me?" Penny said.
"Oh right…" Felix said, feeling bad for leaving Penny out. "How about you save me a good seat at the kid's table at the reception."
"I won't let you down, Felix!" Penny said.
"Perfect." Felix said. He then looked over at Isabella who doesn't seem to be sharing the same enthusiasm as everyone else. "Izzy what's wrong?" He asked. "You've been quiet throughout the entire meeting."
Isabella didn't want to tell everyone how she felt about the whole thing because that would mean she wasn't on board with the plan, which she isn't. Truth be told, she still missed her real father, Kyle, and the thought of her mom dating another man just made her sick. Not only does she consider Kyle irreplaceable as no other man would be as good enough father for her, but Isabella felt like Bebe would be betraying her father by dating another man. The fact that Felix is orchestrating this plan to get Bebe and Stan to date made her feel as though Felix is betraying his own father too. The poor girl didn't know what to think or what to say about this situation.
"Well Felix," Isabella began. "We can't just make two people fall in love. It's just unethical"
"Well they also said they'd never put a man on the moon, yet we still talk about Neil Armstrong every year in school." Felix retorted. "Just trust me, sis, this'll work out perfectly."
Felix turned back to everyone else. "Alright everyone, you're dismissed."
"Good." Larry said. "Barry, Penny, and I have to be back home by 5:00 so we can pack and leave at 6:00 for Estes Park."
"I guess we'll see you tomorrow then?" Lyra asked.
"Yeah." Barry said. "See you then, and good luck you guys."
"You too, dude." Felix said waving the twin brothers goodbye.
With that, a plan was born, jobs were assigned, and an end goal was clear: Get Stan and Bebe together by any means necessary. Felix was certain that this plan would work, while Isabella is against it entirely. In her eyes, Stan would never be a good suitor for her mother, or stepfather for her, Matthew and Felix. Unfortunately, she seems to be the only one not on board with the plan. Isabella wished she could stop it from happening, but Operation Cupid is already in motion. There was nothing she could do now except watch and let whatever happens happen.
TO BE CONTINUED…
(Cue Don't Think Twice by Hikaru Utada (Once again, characters and events that have yet to appear/happen will be mentioned here))
(How did I live in a kingdom of thieves? And people who say things they don't really mean?)
(It's a sunny day and Wendy and Stan are dancing together outside and right next to them are Kyle and Bebe, who are also dancing. Suddenly, the sunny skies turn stormy and Wendy is ripped away from Stan, and Kyle is ripped away from Bebe, both couples trying in vein to reach out to one another. Wendy and Kyle go up into the sky, can the ground gives weight for Stan and Bebe to fall down)
(You're only everything I ever dreamed. Ever dreamed of, ever dreamed of)
(As Stan and Bebe fall, they are enveloped by a red colored paint type substance. Behind the paint is a shadowy figure. It smiles evilly. This figure is one of Jacques Brodeur)
(You must be kidding me, did you really think I could say no?)
(Stan's daughter Lyra, and Bebe's son Felix are running through a grassy plain and two balls of light fall from the sky. The light balls reveal themselves as Wendy and Kyle, who hold their hands out to their children)
(I want you for a lifetime. So if you're gonna think twice, baby. I don't wanna know, baby, I don't wanna know)
(Cartman is standing in front of a statue of a heart. He pulls out a gun and shoots it, causing it to break. Shelly then appears and collapses to the ground, heartbroken)
(Everything is just right. But if you're gonna think twice, baby. I don't wanna know, baby, I don't wanna know)
(Sometime later, Cody Oppenheimer finds the broken pieces of the heart and puts them back together)
(I really don't get what everyone else believes. So why do I say things I don't really mean, really mean.)
(Late at night, Lola and Kenny are in bed. But while Lola is sleeping, Kenny is looking up more information about the crystals he heard about in war)
(I'm only crying 'cause I never dreamed. It'd take this long, it'd take this long)
(Kenny thinks about General Rakish with the big purple crystal floating over him. Suddenly, eight more smaller crystals circle around the big purple one: A red one, a blue one, a green one, a gold one, a pink one, an orange one, a white one, and a black one)
(I want you for a lifetime. So if you're gonna think twice, baby. I don't wanna know, baby, I don't wanna know.)
(General Rakish turns into another villain, Carlos Murciélago. The crystals are still floating over him, and the background changes to the grassy plain from before. The main adults and children are watching in horror at the sight before them)
(Everything is just right. But if you're gonna think twice, baby. I don't wanna know, baby, I don't wanna know)
(Carlos summons a demon warship from out of nowhere and easily takes out the adults and younger children, much to the older children's horror)
(Don't think twice, don't think twice. Don't think twice, baby, don't think twice)
(The children are crying and look like they're going to lose hope when an astral projection of Sir Justice appears. The sight of the unknown hero inspires the children to not give up and put the villain down. The children and Sir Justice charge at Carlos and the warship)
(If you want to take it to an even higher level. All you gotta do is say the word, you know I'll follow. If you wanna take it to an even higher level. I don't, I don't bite)
(Outside of the dream, Isabella Broflovski is looking at a picture of Kyle. Behind him Stan places a hand on her shoulder, which Isabella brushes off and walks away)
(If you want to make it happen, nothing's impossible. All you gotta do is say the word, the walls will crumble. If you want to make it happen, nothing's impossible)
(Shelly gets up from her heartbreak and finds Cody holding a hand out to pick her up. Shelly grabs Cody's hand and we cut to the next scene)
(I want you for a lifetime. So if you're gonna think twice, baby. I don't wanna know, baby, I don't wanna know)
(Stan and Jacques are fighting for Bebe's affections)
(Everything is just right. But if you're gonna think twice, baby. I don't wanna know, baby, I don't wanna know)
(Felix and Lyra are in a dark area, the look behind them to find a older, dying boy in a hospital bed. This boy is named Byron. Lyra and Felix try and run to the hospital bed to see him, but once again, the ground gives weight and the two kids fall into darkness)
(Kiss me once, kiss me twice, kiss me three times. Cross the line)
(Stan and Bebe are alone on a hill somewhere admiring the sunset. The two of them look into each other's eyes before making a move to kiss each other)
(Don't think twice, don't think twice. Don't think twice, baby, don't think twice)
(Cut to night time on that same hill where the Marshes, Broflovskis, Donovans, Tweaks, Tuckers, Cartmans, Stotches, McCormicks, and Oppenheimers are looking up at a full moon. Some of the kids are asleep, but those who are awake are enjoying the company and the beauty of the night sky)