A few days later the family was supposed to receive the presumptive heir to the estate for dinner. At 6 pm sharp there was a knock on the door. A blonde man in his thirties, wearing a purple, overly ornated coat, a giant gold ring in his left pinky finger and an ear-to-ear smile introduced himself
"Gilderoy Lockhart, at your service."
At dinner, the family sat in silence, all of them with their gaze fixed on their respective meals, while the pompous man chatted away.
"I am indeed most fortunate to find myself under the patronage of the most exquisite mistress, Lady Dolores Umbridge, who has found appropriate to endow me with the rectory of Hunsford parish, next to Rosings Park. As such, my position in life is of great privilege and my direct access to Lady Umbridge is coveted by lesser men."
He then proceeded to go on and on about the virtues of his patroness and how the combination her generosity and his profound wisdom made him the most influential man in Hunsford.
"And who are the other two men in town?" quipped Mr. Weasley, but his wife gave him an angry look. Hermione and Ginny covered their mouths with their napkins to hide their chuckles but Lavender snorted loudly.
"We are about to retire to the drawing room for some quiet reading, Mr. Lockhart. I assume a man of God like you would prefer some time of solitude and silence? The footman can show you to your room so you can freshen up and prepare for bed," said Mrs. Weasley, hoping that the man would take a hint and finally shut up.
"I am a man of God, madam, but I am also a poet, for the Lord has showered me with many, many gifts, and one of them is a silver tongue. And as I have been received in this house with such joy, I must repay your kindness with some poems of my own authorship and of course a few sermons, to nurture the soul. Let us all retire to the drawing room, so your enjoyment may begin."
Seven pairs of eyes rolled at the same time, but apparently, Mr. Lockhart did not notice. They all sat begrudgingly in the drawing room and for two hours the man with the self-proclaimed silver tongue babbled away some of the most outrageous pieces of poetry anyone could come up with and follow up some of them with sanctimonious sermons to ensure that the young ladies of the house would not be filled with impure thoughts by the deep sentiments that his poetry was sure to instigate in them. When Mr. Weasley gave a sound snore Mrs. Weasley used the excuse of the older man's health to wrap up the excruciating evening.
The next morning Mr. Lockhart stopped Mrs. Weasley on her way to breakfast.
"Madam, forgive my impetuosity but I must confess, I have been struck by cupid's arrow most deeply. My heart is now utterly and irrevocably in the hands of the lovely Miss Ginny. I dare now to ask you for her hand in marriage."
"Oh. Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Lockhart, but we are expecting an offer from Mr. Potter of Netherfield Park."
"Oh. I see. Well, in that case, I am sure Miss Hermione would like to endear herself with a man of my privileged position in life," he said without missing a bit.
Mrs. Weasley looked like she got a very full Christmas stocking.
"Oh dear, of course, of course, Mr. Lockhart, come, come, you must ask her immediately."
They walked into the dining room and Mrs. Weasley started shooing all away like chickens
"Out, out, all of you! Mr. Lockhart needs to have a word with Hermione!"
Hermione looked like she was going to faint. She looked towards her father, who composed his face and gesture for her to not worry. She tried to pull one of her sisters to sit back down but Lavender and Daphne were the ones closer and they evade her grasp, laughing, before leaving the room. Astoria tried to sit, seeing the panic in her sister's face, but her mother dragged her, so all she could do was mouth "Sorry".
Hermione stayed glued to her sit, hyperventilating. It took her a minute to realize that Mr. Lockhart was already in the middle of his diatribe
"For I know you will be the most admired lady of Hunsford, second only of course to the most gracious Lady Umbridge. You will be living any lady of good breeding's dream, make your parents most proud."
She snapped out of her stupor, stood up and said
"Mr. Lockhart, while I greatly appreciate your offer, I must decline it. For I am the last woman in this world that could make you happy. I am not cut for the duties and privileges of being a clergyman's wife, I would embarrass you, and you deserve so much more than that."
"Oh, of course. Now, we must do our dance. For I know it is expected of a young lady to play coy to her suitor for it makes her more desirable in his eyes. But fret not my dear Hermione, you do not need to endear yourself more in my eyes, for my mind is already made."
"Sir, I am not trying to endear my self or make my self look modest. I am clearly stating that I will not, under any circumstances, marry you."
She ran out of the room, her mother yelling her name behind. Se went straight to her father.
"Father, please, you cannot make me. Please, I beg you, make this madness stop."
"Mr. Weasley!" squealed Mrs. Weasley, "you must make this ungrateful child see reason! Or I will never, ever again look her way. I will disown her!"
Mr. Weasley looked at her daughter, whose eyes were now pooled with tears and said
"Well Hermione, it seems to me now you are in a dilemma, for you are to lose one of your parents. If you do not marry Mr. Lockhart you will lose your mother. And if you do, you will lose me."
Hermione jumped onto her father's arms and after kissing his cheek ran to join her sisters.
Mrs. Weasley looked devastated
"Mr. Weasley, how could you!"
"Mrs. Weasley, I may not be the richest man in the land, but I still can avoid selling my children into a life of misery," he said, then gave his wife a soft look and said "they will be fine. We all will be. No need to tie any of them to that pompous blunderbuss," then he kissed her forehead and made his way back to his study.