South Park's Emotional Warzone Chapter 13: Date Night (Shody)
Let's backtrack a bit to begin this next chapter, shall we?
This chapter, much like the last one, starts out on the Monday night after Kenny and Lola's wedding. Unlike last chapter however, we are in the suburbs of Pueblo, CO. This is the town in which the Tweak family and Shelly and Junior lives, at least until they all move back to South Park at the end of June.
In the Tweak household, the children, Mimi, Cici, and Junior, are being put to bed. Sally and Tweek are tucking their daughters into their beds while Shelly is tucking Junior into bed in the guest bedroom. We focus on the latter two for right now.
"Alright, Junior, you have a good night and sweet dreams," Shelly said as she finished tucking her son into the bed and kissing his forehead, "I'll go to bed in about an hour or two." Shelly was about to leave when…
"Hey, mom, wait." Junior said.
"What is it, sweetie?" Shelly asked
"It's about dad?" Junior said, "Do you know when you two are going to get back together?
Shelly hesitated to answer. She has yet to tell her son about hers and Cartman's divorce. She knew she had to tell her son soon, the only thing was she didn't know how, let alone when.
"We're trying to figure that out as we speak, Junior." Shelly answered, "Trust me, when we know you'll know."
"Okay, mom." Junior said with a yawn, "Good night."
"Good night Junior, sweet dreams." Shelly said as she turned off the lights and closed the door.
Just as Shelly left Junior to sleep, Sally and Tweek had just left their daughters' bedroom so they could sleep. The three of them went into the living room to watch some T.V before they too turn in for the night. As the three of them watched T.V, they each helped themselves to a slice of leftover cake that Sally had baked for Tweek's birthday a few days ago.
"Mmm, nom, mmm!" Tweek said eating at his slice of cake, "Sal, I know I say this with everything you bake, but you have truly outdone yourself. This is straight up the best thing you've ever baked. It's just so sweet."
Sally giggled and said, "I'm glad you love it so much, honey. In fact, later tonight I have something so much sweeter that's meant especially for you…in the bedroom."
"Oh, ho! I love the way you think." Tweek chuckled naughtily. "Come here, you."
Just as Sally and Tweek were about to kiss passionately…
"Oh get a room!" Shelly said rather bitterly, causing the husband and wife to stop their love fest.
"Sorry, Shelly," Sally said, "We're still getting used to having you living with us."
"And when Mimi and Cici are put to bed, that's when Sally and I…you know." Tweek chimed in. "But we are sorry for subjecting you to our public display of affection, especially given your current situation."
Shelly realized she was being a little immature. Just because she's going through a divorce and has fallen out of love with Cartman doesn't mean she has to ruin it for everyone else.
"No, it's fine. I'm the one who should apologize." Shelly said remorsefully, "I'm just frustrated with all of this divorce nonsense, not having anyone to love, and I'm just displacing that frustration onto you two."
"Yeah, on the subject of the divorce, when are you going to break the news to Junior?" Tweek asked.
"Yeah," Sally chimed in, "As we were tucking Mimi and Cici into bed earlier, they asked us when you'd tell Junior so they can be free of this secret. The two of them look ready to tell Junior just so they can get this weight lifted off their shoulders."
"It's just that I haven't figured out how or when to tell him." Shelly explained.
"What's so hard about it?" Sally asked, "It's simple, just wait until your son is in an exceptionally good mood so that way it'll be easier to break the news to him, then say, 'Junior your father and I are getting divorced, this is your life now, live with it.'"
"That wording is kind of harsh, babe." Tweek said.
"I'm not saying Shelly should say those exact words, but I think she gets the picture." Sally said.
"Yeah, I get it," Shelly said, "But I just know he's not going to be happy when I tell him."
"At least you're the one who is telling him and not someone or something else." Tweek explained.
"I guess." Shelly said
"But, still on the subject of divorce, that means you're a free woman!" Sally exclaimed, "This should be a time for you to go out and find another lucky fella. Someone who will love you for who you are, and someone who will love Junior just as much."
"Well, where do I find a guy like that?" Shelly asked, "Because I'm going to tell you right now, I am not going on those dating websites. You don't know what kind of scum is lurking on those sites."
"What about that nice guy from Kenny and Lola's wedding?" Sally said, "What was his name?"
"Cody Oppenheimer." Tweek said, "You two did seem to hit it off well. And he has kids of his own too that he supports with a nice and steady job. Those are the makings of a true father and provider if I've ever seen one.
"Also, isn't his wife dead?" Sally asked, "I'm pretty sure Cody would be desperate for a woman's touch after that."
"Hmm, I do still have his phone number from when he gave it to me at the wedding." Shelly said. "He said to call him up if I ever want to take him up on his offer for a date."
"There you go!" Sally said, "Go call him up now."
"Okay," Shelly said with a hint of excitement in her voice. She looked into her pocketbook and found the piece of paper with Cody's phone number written on it. Sally handed her the phone and Shelly dialed the number in.
As this was going on, Cody was spending time with his two kids, Edgar and Tori, watching Captain Marvel on Blu-Ray.
"This is the life, isn't it kids?" Cody asked his two children as they were watching the movie.
"It sure is, daddy!" Tori said taking a sip from a glass of iced tea.
"I always love a good MCU film." Edgar said as he ate a handful of popcorn. "Though I've got to wonder how Ronin and Korath wound up working for Thanos."
"I'd probably consult whatever wiki site is out there for possible information." Tori said
Suddenly, the Oppenheimer's phone began to ring. "Edgar, can you pause the movie while I answer that, please?" Cody asked reaching for the phone.
"Sure thing, dad." Edgar said pausing the movie, allowing Cody to answer the phone.
"Hello?" Cody answered.
"Hello," Shelly began on her end, "May I speak with Cody Oppenheimer please?"
"You're with him." Cody said, "May I ask who this is calling?"
"It's me, Shelly Marsh," Shelly answered, "You know, from the wedding."
"Oh, Shelly!" Cody said, remembering who Shelly is, "How've you been?"
"Pretty good," Shelly answered, "I was just calling to see if, you know, that date offer is still up."
"It hasn't changed since I offered it to you." Cody answered.
"Great," Shelly said happily. "Because I wanted to know if you wanted to come down and have a date this weekend, you know if you're not busy."
"No, I have Saturdays off." Cody answered, "You want me to come down and pick you up at around 5 P-M Saturday?"
"5 P-M Saturday sounds wonderful." Shelly answered.
"Terrific." Cody said happily.
"I'll just look and see what there is to do in the area, and I'll call you between now and Saturday to see if anything sounds interesting to you?" Shelly said
"Sounds good," Cody said, "See you Saturday at 5 P-M."
"See you then. Buh-bye." Shelly said as she ended the call.
"So you have a date?" Tweek asked.
"Yup," Shelly said, "5 P-M this Saturday. I just have to figure out what there is to do here in Pueblo."
"Well, Sally and I found a nice Japanese Karaoke Bar when we first moved here." Tweek explained, "They got some pretty good sushi."
"And even better sake," Sally chimed in, "Anyway, the Pueblo Spring Fair is in town this weekend too if Cody's into that kind of thing. We can go this Friday evening, the three of us and our kids, so you can get an early look at what there is to do."
"Hmm," Shelly thought, "Spring Fair, Karaoke Bar, sounds good. Thanks you two."
"Hey, what are friends for?" Sally asked.
As the week went on, Shelly called up Cody and asked how the spring fair and karaoke bar sounded, and he was very on board with the idea. On Friday evening, the Tweaks, Shelly, and Junior attended the Pueblo Spring Fair, where Shelly got an idea as to what rides were there, the types of food that were served, what merchandise was sold, what games could be played, and she even got a program that gave a list of special events were going on.
At long last, Saturday has come. It was now 4:45 P-M, 15 more minutes until Cody comes to pick up Shelly. Sally, Tweek, Cici, Mimi, and Junior are hanging out in the living room as Shelly is in the guest bedroom getting ready.
"Shelly, hurry up, Cody's gonna be here any minute." Sally called
"In a minute, I'm looking for my favorite shoes." Shelly said
"Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Tweak, I have a question." Junior asked, "Why is mom hanging out with Mr. Oppenheimer when she's still married to my dad?"
Sally and Tweek didn't want to tell Junior about his parents' divorce, so Sally just replied with: "A girl is allowed to be friends with other guys. That's exactly what this is, Junior, just two friends of the opposite gender hanging out. Nothing more, nothing less."
"I guess you're right, Mrs. Tweak." Junior said.
Wanting to get Junior away from the situation, Tweek looked over at his daughters.
"Mimi, Cici, why don't you and Junior play Super Smash Bros. Ultimate in your room." Tweek suggested. "Remember to leave the door open."
"Okay dad," Cici said as she motioned for Junior to follow her and her sister, "Come on, Junior, let's go."
"Alright," Junior said as he followed the twin sisters. Before they could go anywhere, Shelly emerged from the guest bedroom wearing brown shoes, beige capris, and a dark brown blouse. She also had a little bit of make-up on, just some lip gloss and mascara.
"Looking good." Cici said.
"Thanks, Cici." Shelly said giving her a head pat. Junior walked up to his mother and gave her a hug.
"You sure dad will be okay with this, mom?" Junior asked.
"I'm sure he'll be fine with it, Junior." Shelly said, still trying to hide the divorce from her son. "You go and have fun with Mimi and Cici. I should be home in time to tuck you into bed."
"Okay, mom, have fun." Junior said as he released his mother from the hug and joined his friends in their bedroom. As soon as Junior left…
"Shelly, Cody's here!" Sally called from the living room.
Shelly joined her Tweek and Sally and watched as Cody parked his Navigator in the drive way, got out, and walked up to the front door. Cody knocked and Tweek answered.
"Good evening, everyone." Cody greeted. Cody had his hair gelled up and is wearing a dark green short sleeve button up shirt, beige dress pants, and brown shoes.
"Hey there, Cody." Sally greeted. "Come on in."
Cody walked into the house and took a good look around before turning to Tweek and Sally.
"Nice place you two have here." Cody complimented.
"Thanks, man," Tweek said, "Sal and I decorated it ourselves."
Cody looked over at Shelly and held out his hand for her to hold which she did. "I say, Shelly, you look fantastic." He said.
"Thanks Cody," Shelly blushed, "You look very dapper yourself."
"I try and dress for success no matter what occasion." Cody said. "So, are you ready for our date?"
"Of course, Cody." Shelly said eagerly.
"We'll take care of Junior for you, Shelly, don't worry." Sally said, "Just go and have a good time."
"I will," Shelly said.
"We should be back by 9 at the latest." Cody said.
"Sounds good." Tweek said. "Now go and have some fun, you two."
"But not too much fun," Sally joked, "I don't know if Junior is ready to have a little brother or sister."
"Don't worry, we'll keep it G rated tonight." Shelly joked back. Cody couldn't help but chuckle at the banter.
"Come on, Cody, let's go." Shelly said pulling Cody's arm.
"Whoa, someone's excitable." Cody said, "See you all later!"
With that, Cody and Shelly left the house and headed on their way to the fair.
Upon arriving to the fair, the couple noticed that the parking lot was rather crowded, naturally since it was a Saturday night. However, Cody was lucky enough to find a parking spot not far from the entrance.
"Wait here," Cody said as he parked the car and got out. He walked around and opened the car door for Shelly, letting her out. "Right this way."
"Hey, thanks." Shelly said.
"Anytime," Cody said as the two of them walked into the fair.
As expected with a carnival, the environment around them was loud, colorful, and fast paced. A multitude of sounds and aromas filled the air. You could cut the excitement in the air with a knife. All around the fair, barkers were advertising a plethora of snacks, rides, and games.
"Step right up! Have the ride of your life, one ticket!"
"We got gyros and chilli dogs. Funnel cakes and ice cream bars. All at a reasonable price, get 'em while they're hot!"
"One dollar, three throws! Pop a balloon and win a prize. It's a no brainer!"
"This place is awesome!" Cody said excitedly, "I'm glad you suggested this place, Shelly. I love carnivals. They always make me feel like a kid again."
"Good to know." Shelly said, "So, what do you want to do first?"
"You want to play some games?" Cody asked
"Sure." Shelly said, "Which one do you want to try?"
"Doesn't matter to me," Cody said, "Which one do you want to try?"
Shelly looked around at all of the games available when she heard the barker for the balloon game again.
"One dollar, three throws! Pop a balloon and win a prize. It's a no brainer!" The barker shouted.
Shelly turned to the barker's direction, "I think I'll take him up on his offer," She said as she walked up to him, "I'll play a game, sir."
"Alright, missy, then let's see that dollar." The barker said.
"I've got it." Cody said as he took a dollar out from his pocket and gives it to the barker.
"Thank you very much, and here are your darts, miss." The barker said as he handed Shelly three darts. If you pop a balloon with all three darts, you win a big prize.
"Alright, let's do this!" Shelly said as she took aim. Once she had a good aim, she tossed the first dart and popped one of the balloons. The throw was perfect with the right amount of power behind it. After that, Shelly repeated the process with the other two and popped two more balloons, meaning she won a big prize.
"Wow, Shelly, that was impressive." Cody said.
"It's all in the wrist." Shelly boasted.
"Congratulations, miss." The barker said as he showed Shelly all the prizes she could pick. "You can pick whatever prize you want."
Shelly saw a stuffed Kirby plush sitting on one of the shelves, "Junior loves Kirby," Shelly said, "I'll take that stuffed Kirby over there."
"Kirby it is!" The barker said as he handed Shelly the stuffed toy, "There you are, miss, and you enjoy the rest of your time here at the carnival."
"We will, thanks." Shelly said as she and Cody headed off elsewhere.
"Junior's going to love this." Shelly said as she looked at the Kirby plush."
"Your son's a Kirby fan?" Cody asked.
"He is," Shelly answered, "He just discovered some episodes of the Kirby anime a few days ago in fact. He's pretty much binge watching it."
"My kids are the same way with Kingdom Hearts." Cody explained, "This year for Halloween, Edgar wants to dress up as Sora while Tori wants to dress up as Aqua."
"That sounds cute." Shelly said, "Junior is already thinking up ideas for his Halloween costume."
"Cool." Cody said. It was at that moment, when they passed another barker advertising one of those, 'Test Your Strength' hammer games.
"Test your might!" The barker advertised, "See how strong you are! Hit the bell to win a blue ribbon!"
Cody and Shelly looked at the game that stood before them. There were five tiers to this game. In order it was: Infant Strength, Child Strength, Rookie Athlete, Strong Man, Macho Man, and Superhero. The recent patron, who appeared to be very athletic and muscular, swung the hammer and the marker just barely missed hitting the bell.
"Oh, so close." The barker said remorsefully.
"I'll get it next time." The patron said.
"Hey, can I try?" Cody asked the barker. "I can guarantee you I'll at least make it to the Superhero level.
One look at Cody and both the patron and the barker began to laugh mockingly. Cody did appear to be athletic…but by no means did he have that muscular, Schwarzenegger body.
"Did I say something funny?" Cody said raising a brow.
"No offense to you, bud, but you look like you're going to get Rookie Athlete at best if you try." The patron said.
"Oh really?" Cody said, "Care to place a wager, gentlemen?"
"Sure," The patron said.
"What did you have in mind?" The barker asked.
"If I hit the bell, you both give me $20 each." Cody explained. "If I don't hit the bell, I'll give both of you $20 of my own money."
"Sounds like a bet." The patron smirked as he gave Cody the hammer. "Give it a go, sport!"
"Gladly." Cody said as he stepped up the game. Cody closed his eyes and took a deep breath before…
"RAAAAAAAAH!" Cody roared as he swing the hammer with all his might. The marker rose up and then…
DING!
Not only did Cody hit the bell, but he swung his hammer so hard that the bell came right off of the game and landed on the ground right next to him. Cody didn't even flinch when the bell fell. Shelly, the barker, and the patron especially were very impressed and shocked. Nonchalantly, Cody gave the hammer back to the barker and said, "I'll take my blue ribbon and $40 please."
With that, the patron and barker gave Cody his prizes as he and Shelly walked off to another part of the fair.
"That was amazing, Cody." Shelly said, "I didn't know you were that strong. Do you lift?"
"No, Shelly." Cody explained, "The key is inner peace. Just shut off the whole rest of the world around you, tell yourself a mantra of strength, and the next thing you know you're about as strong as one of those strongmen at the circus.
"Still, great work." Shelly said smiling lovingly at Cody who returned the favor by smiling at her, "So, you want to hit up some rides before we grab some food?"
"Sure, lead the way, Shell." Cody said as the two of them went off to have some more fun.
(Another montage, this time the music is "Whole New World" from Aladdin)
(I can show you the world. Shining, shimmering, splendid. Tell me, princess, now when did you last let your heart decide)
(Cody and Shelly are on the Tea Cup Ride. They are both turning the wheel so their tea cup spins wildly and swiftly)
(I can open your eyes. Take you wonder by wonder. Over sideways and under on a magic carpet ride)
(Now the two of them are on that swinging Viking Ship ride. They are both laughing all the while with the two of them holding their hands up in the air)
(A whole new world. A new fantastic point of view. No one to tell us no, or where to go, or say we're only dreaming)
(Now the two of them are on a roller coaster. The ride gets a little intense and both Shelly and Cody are screaming both gleefully and fearfully. Shell takes a moment to hold Cody's hand. This causes Cody to stop screaming for a bit and blush)
(A whole new world. A dazzling place I never knew. But when I'm way up here it's crystal clear that now I'm in a while new world with you (Now I'm in a whole new world with you))
(Shelly is watching Cody at another game. This one is a ninja star throwing game where he has to land a bullseye to win a prize. Using his inner peace method, Cody lands the mark and wins a stuffed dragon toy which he gives to Shelly)
(Unbelievable sights. Indescribable feeling. Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling through an endless diamond sky)
(There's a petting zoo, and the two of them decide to feed the chickens there some seeds. Then they go to the rabbit cages where they pet them and feed them some carrots)
(A whole new world (Don't you dare close your eyes). A hundred thousand things to see (Hold your breath it gets better) I'm like a shooting star, I've come so far. I can't go back to where I used to be)
(The two of them are in a haunted house ride. They both seem somewhat unnerved by the dark atmosphere and by how realistic the props looked. When a smoke machine goes off, Shelly leaps into Cody's arms causing him to blush again)
(A whole new world (Every turn a surprise). With new horizons to pursue (Every moment, red-letter) I'll chase them anywhere. There's time to spare. Let me share this whole new world with you)
(Now the two of them are in a funhouse. They pass through the hall of mirrors. One mirror makes Shelly look tall and thin while another one makes Cody look short and fat. They both look at each other's reflections and laugh hysterically)
(A whole new world (A whole new world). That's where we'll be (That's where we'll be). A thrilling chase. A wondrous place. For you and me.)
(The two of them see a hot air balloon launch and they decide to go up on one of them. They get a great aerial view of the whole town of Pueblo. Cody points up at the sky and they both see a shooting star race across the sky. Shelly and Cody look at each other and smile)
After that, Cody and Shelly decided to sit down somewhere and have some snacks. They're on a picnic table and they both have funnel cakes and cups of soda sitting in front of them.
"Not going to lie, this is the most fun I've ever had in a long time." Shelly said.
"I know, me too." Cody said, "What would you say your favorite part about today is so far?"
"There's so many moments to choose from." Shelly said, "I love this stuffed dragon you won for me, the tea cups, and I especially loved that hot air balloon ride."
"Did you see that shooting star?" Cody asked as he took a bite of his funnel cake.
"Of course," Shelly said, "Did you make a wish?"
"Of course I did," Cody answered, "You?"
"Well, yeah." Shelly answered, "What did you wish for?"
"Now, Shelly, you knew that if I told you it wouldn't come true." Cody said.
"Oh, come on, that's just an old wives tale." Shelly joked, "I won't tell anyone if you tell me."
"Well, okay," Cody said, "I just simply wished for the remainder of the year to be one without drama, pain, or otherwise misfortune, and that good things may come our way. Generic, but a simple wish nonetheless. So, how about you, Shelly, what was your wish?"
"You don't want to hear my wish, it's embarrassing." Shelly said with a blush.
"How bad could it be?" Cody asked.
Shelly was wishing more than anything that this date with Cody would be a gateway leading to something more, perhaps even a marriage. But Shelly kept that secret under wraps and said…
"Well, I just wished for a nice pair of Hello Kitty slippers." Shelly said, "You know, I love me some Hello Kitty."
"You like Hello Kitty?" Cody asked.
"Hell yeah," Shelly said continuing her lie, "It's my ride or die franchise. I love it."
"That's not really that embarrassing," Cody said, "Between you and me, I still have a fascination with this kid's program I grew up with, Animaniacs."
"My brother Stan used to love that show." Shelly said, "He never missed an episode."
"Easily one of the best cartoons ever made." Cody said,
"I couldn't agree more." Shelly said. "Anyway, what can you tell me about your family? What are they like?"
"Edgar is a huge fan of soccer, he never misses a game on T.V and he's usually the MVP of his Middle School team." Cody began, "Tori is always sociable and outgoing, always trying to make friends. She also has a knack for magic tricks, and she even started a magic club at school. They're both wonderful little blessings and they make me so proud."
"As for my parents," Cody continued, "My mother was a nurse. She loved her work, you know, helping people. She's part of the reason why I became a doctor. And my father, God rest his soul, was a firefighter for the town of Boulder. One night, about a few days after I graduated high school, there was a five alarm fire somewhere in town…the building collapsed while he was still inside trying to save people."
"Oh, I'm so sorry." Shelly said.
"Don't worry about it." Cody said, "Sure, I still miss him, but like my mom he always felt the need to help people. He always valued the safety and well being of others before his own, so I know he's somewhere in heaven along with my dear Mallory."
"Your father sounds like an honorable man, Cody." Shelly said. "Hey, I don't think I asked this, but how did Mallory die."
"It was a brain tumor." Cody said, "Mallory was a three time cancer survivor, twice before she and I met, once when she and I dated, and then the final time just a little more than five years ago. She always managed to beat the cancer at every turn, so when she got it for a fourth time, we all assumed that she'd bounce back like she always had. As you can see now…that's not exactly what happened."
"Cody, I'm so sorry." Shelly said with a frown.
"It's okay." Cody said. "Again, I'm still sad, and I still miss her, but there's nothing I can do about it now except accept the fact that it happened and move on. Enough about me, what can you tell me about your family?"
"Well, let me just start by saying the less I say about my cheating turd of an ex-husband the better." Shelly began, "My dad is a geologist, then a cannabis farmer, and then back to a geologist again."
Cody looked confused at that statement, causing Shelly to reply with: "It's a long, crazy story."
"My mom works as a receptionist at Tom's Rhinoplasty," Shelly continued, "My brother Stan is a high ranking officer at South Park's precinct. My niece Lyra is a good student, always has been. And then we get to my son, Eric Jr. What can I say about him? He's just a total blessing. Very friendly and loyal young man. Definitely better than his father was at his age, and definitely the only good thing to come out of that train wreck of a marriage. I just love Junior and I don't know what I'd do without him."
"Your love for your son sounds like a strong one." Cody said.
"Trust me, it is." Shelly said, "I'm sure you feel the same way about Edgar and Tori."
"Of course," Cody said, "Every good parent takes the love of their child very seriously. Any parent that wrongs them in any way shape or form like your ex-husband, well, I don't know how they can even call themselves a parent."
"I know," Shelly said, "Not only did Eric cheat on me, but it seemed like he always had to work every single day. He barely spent time with me when he and I were together, and Junior was lucky if he got to see him for five minutes in a day."
"He's an actor, correct?" Cody asked
"Yeah," Shelly said. "Thinking back, I wonder if anytime he called to say they were doing a re-shoot, or they were keeping him for whatever reason, it was just an excuse so he doesn't have to come home to us and hang out with that harlot of his. I mean, it's our job to shape Junior into an upstanding citizen and I feel like I'm doing most of the work. After our divorce, I told myself I'd look for a man who is more than willing to do his share in raising Junior."
"Well, hypothetically speaking, if we do end up together I promise you I'll be the farthest thing from Cartman was." Cody said. "To me, Shelly, children take precedence over anything. Like you said, they're our future and they're the ones who we mold into upstanding members of society. I'd say I'm doing a good job with Edgar and Tori, and it sounds like you're doing a good job with Junior."
With that, Cody raised up his soda cup and said, "Here's to our children."
"To our children." Shelly said as they gave a cheers and took a sip from their respective cup.
Shelly and Cody spent the next few minutes talking about miscellaneous subjects whilst nibbling away at their funnel cakes and sipping at their sodas. Eventually, they finish their respective snack.
"Aw, they're gone." Shelly whined. "It was so good."
"I know, right." Cody said, "I love funnel cakes. Something about them take me back to my childhood. Maybe it's because my grandfather used to own a concession stand that he'd used to take to fairs and flea markets. He made one mean funnel cake. It's what practically made his concession stand famous around these parts."
"Anyway," Cody continued, "I think we've seen enough here, what do you think."
"Yeah, we have been here for a couple of hours." Shelly concurred, "You want to head out to the Japanese Karaoke Bar?"
"Sure, I can go for some sushi." Cody said, "It'll be a bang-bang."
"What's a bang-bang?" Shelly asked.
"It's when you eat at one place and then immediately go to another place to eat something else." Cody explained, "So right now, we just ate funnel cake and now we're going to go eat some sushi."
"Oh, I get it now." Shelly said feeling enlightened. "You really do learn something every day."
Cody chuckled at that as he took his and Shelly's trash from their snack and threw it in a nearby trashcan. "Shall we?" He asked taking Shelly by the hand. Hand in hand, the two of them walked out of the fair, ready to move on to part two of their date.
A short drive later and the couple arrived at the Japanese Karaoke Bar. They went inside and saw that it was a rather busy night. A waitress came up and seated the two of them at a table before taking their orders. Shelly ordered a spicy tuna roll and some Junmai-shu sake. Cody ordered a California Roll and some Ginjo-shu sake.
As the two of them waited for their order to arrive, they watched as the patrons attempted to sing karaoke, where most of the songs are Japanese. Occasionally they'd hear someone sing a song decently enough, but most of the time they'd silently snicker to themselves as a patron attempts to sing, but botches the pronunciation of some words.
"I shouldn't be snickering and giggling like this, because I know I'd do just as bad up there." Cody said.
"Me, I think I'd do fine." Shelly said.
"What do you mean?" Cody said.
"Let's just say I might have taken a few Japanese speaking classes as electives back in high school." Shelly said. "Then again, that was high school, well over 10 years ago, so I may be a little rusty."
"Are you saying you're willing to give this a try?" Cody asked.
"Maybe, if the mood strikes me." Shelly said.
At this point, another patron had finished singing his song, and the owner came up looking for someone else who would like to try and sing.
"Alright, everyone, the night is still young and there are plenty of songs to be sung here tonight." The owner said, "Who wants to come on up next? And don't forget, every hour, the best singer here gets a $25 dollar gift card to my establishment and this gold trophy."
The owner held up the trophy, which had a microphone on it along with the words, "Best Singer," written in kanji.
The owner looked around the bar and dining areas to see if anyone had their hand raised, but nobody looked willing to go up and sing. Shelly looked around and noticed this too, so she turned to Cody and said, "What do you know, the mood and struck me."
With that, Shelly raised her hand and the owner noticed.
"We have a volunteer!" The owner cheered. "Come on up here, miss."
"Knock 'em dead, Shelly." Cody said.
"Thanks, Cody." Shelly said as she went up on the stage with the owner.
"You seem like a new face, miss." The owner said, "What's your name?"
"Shelly." Shelly answered.
"Is this your first time here?" The owner asked.
"Yes it is." Shelly answered. "I'm here on a date. My first one after getting a divorce as a matter of fact."
"So you managed to find love again," The owner said, "Good for you, Shelly, please give her a round of applause."
The audience clapped, thinking Shelly has found love again.
"Now, now, I wouldn't say we're in love…yet." Shelly said with a wink towards Cody, who blushed a little.
"So tell us, Shelly, what song would you like to sing tonight?" The owner asked.
"Let's do, Bang! Bang! Vacances! By SMAP." Shelly said.
"Interesting choice," The owner said, "Alright, for the last song of the hour, and the one that decides who will win the $25 gift card and trophy, it's Bang! Bang! Vacances!"
The patrons, especially Cody, cheered as Shelly cleared her throat and the song began. To everyone's surprise, Shelly actually sung very well despite the fact Japanese isn't her primary language.
Shawaa bukkoware mayonaka
Kuuraa no rimokon nigiri shime
Ze, ze, itteta kyonen no natsu
Baiku no menkyo hoshii na
Soshitara baiku mo hoshii na
Demo Kekkyoku uda uda shiteta otoshi no natsu
Cody was absolutely blown away with Shelly's Japanese singing skills. "Wow, she's actually really good!" It was then that Cody looked down at his groin. "Should I really be at half mast right now over this?"
Now Shelly's at the chorus
Baby bang, bang, bang! Hadashi de go now!
Jinrui no shinka ni sakaratte
Baby bang, bang, bang! Oh, bakazura de!
Suutsu de umi nit obi konde
Saa taiyo to uchi awase shiyou
The audience is going wild over Shelly's performance, especially Cody who is applauding and cheering like he is witnessing the most amazing event ever. As Shelly continued to sing, Cody as dancing in his seat and snapping his fingers. At last, Shelly made it to the final verses of the song.
Sora ga baka no bakansu.
Uchi ni tsuku made genki na baka de ii
Baby, bang, bang, bang! Hadashi de go now!
Sangurasu atama ni nokkechatte
Baby, bang, bang, bang! Oh, bakazura de!
T-shatsu no suso musunjatte
Saa shashin wa kihon v-sain.
De koukai to hansei ga omiyage!
When Shelly finished her song, she was met with wondrous applause. Cody shouted nothing but praise for his date. "Alright, Shelly!" he cheered, "That's my date up there!"
As the applause ended, the owner stepped up, ready to announce the hour's winner. "I think we have a winner for this hour everyone! Congratulations, miss, this trophy and $25 gift card is yours."
"Thank you, sir." Shelly said, graciously accepting her prizes. She looked into the audience to find Cody giving her a thumbs up, to which she winked back at.
After the karaoke contest, Cody and Shelly ate their sushi and drank their sake. After that, Cody saw that it was almost nine o'clock, almost time for Shelly to be brought home. So the two of them hopped in Cody's car and drove off. As they drove, they conversed about the evening.
"Whew, I haven't had a good time like that in a long time." Shelly said, "Thanks for taking me out. I hope it wasn't any trouble."
"Don't worry about it." Cody said, "Like I said, a girl like you is worth even a thousand mile drive. I'll drive to the ends of the Earth to see someone like you."
"Oh, you charmer." Shelly blushed. "My ex, Eric, could learn a thing or two from you."
"Indeed he could. You're too good for cheaters like him, both you and Junior." Cody said, "On the subject of your son, how did he take it…you know, when you told him about the divorce."
"Yeah, about that," Shelly began, "I haven't told him yet."
"May I ask why?" Cody asked.
"I mean, I'm trying to find the right moment but…I just don't want to make him upset." Shelly explained, "Stuff like divorce could mess with a child mentally, emotionally, physically. I just know it's not going to end well."
"You know Shelly, divorce is a little bit like death of a loved one." Cody explained, "It's nothing you want to tell your kids, but you know that you have to tell them sooner or later. You think I wanted to tell Edgar and Tori that their mom died? No. If I had my way, I'd keep quiet and tell them she's travelling, and won't be home for a while. But I knew if I lied, they'd eventually find out and resent me for it. So let me ask you Shelly, would you rather have an upset child who still loves you, or a happy child that'll soon resent you for who knows how long.
"This is exactly what Stan told me." Shelly said.
"Your brother Stan sounds like a smart man." Cody said.
"Only because he did the same thing with his daughter…last…year." Shelly said, eyes getting wider as if she figured something out.
It was at that moment that Shelly realized that Stan, Bebe, Sally, Tweek, and now Cody have been right all along. The only way out of the whirlpool of emotional stress is to just tell Junior the truth.
"You know what, Cody," Shelly said, "I think I'm ready to tell Junior the truth."
"Do you need me for moral support?" Cody asked.
With a deep breath, Shelly said, "No, I think I can take it from here."
"Well that's good, because we're here." Cody said as he pulled up in the Tweak family driveway. Cody got out of the driver's seat and let Shelly out of the car, walking with her up to the front door. Cody rang the doorbell and Sally and Tweek answered.
"Right on time." Sally said, "Did you two have fun?"
"Of course." Shelly answered as she showed off her carnival prizes. "I won some sweet prizes at the fair."
"Very cool." Tweek said as he let Shelly inside. "You know, Cody, if you want to come in and hang out for a while you're more than welcome to."
"Yeah, Tweek and I ordered some pizzas for us and the kids." Sally chimed in. "We can heat you up a slice."
"I appreciate your hospitality, but I can't stay." Cody said, "I have to be back up at Boulder by tomorrow morning so I can pick up my kids from their grandmother's house."
"Okay, we understand." Sally said.
"Thanks again for taking me out tonight, Cody." Shelly said.
"My pleasure." Cody said with a smile. "So, I guess we'll keep in touch?"
"You know it." Shelly said with a smile.
"Wonderful." Cody said as he and Shelly hugged goodbye. "See you around, Shell."
"Later, Cody." Shelly waved as Cody headed for his car. Shelly, Sally, and Tweek watched as Cody pulled out of the driveway and drove off back for Boulder.
"So, don't keep us in suspense, Shelly, how was your date?" Tweek asked.
"I'll tell you two in a minute." Shelly said. "Right now, I need to talk to Junior. Where is he?"
"We just sent the kids to bed about 15 minutes ago." Sally said.
"But I think Junior is still up though." Tweek said, "I put my ear up against the guest bedroom door and I heard the distinct sounds of Super Mario Odyssey from inside."
"That dirty stay-up." Shelly joked as she made her way for the guest bedroom. "Well, I'd better go inside and check on him."
Inside the guest bedroom Junior is, in fact, playing Super Mario Odyssey on his Nintendo Switch. As soon as he heard the door knob turn, Junior snuck the Switch under the bed and pretended to fall asleep. Shelly saw this and said, "Junior, you're not slick. I know you're up."
"Alright, you got me, mom." Junior said as he sat up in bed. Shelly sad beside him so she could talk to him. "So how was it with Mr. Oppenheimer?" Junior asked.
"It was fine." Shelly said, "But I want to talk to you about me and your father." That bit caused Junior to look in Shelly's direction. "You see Junior…your father and I…"
"I know you two are getting divorced." Junior said, shocking Shelly.
"Y-Yes Junior." Shelly said, "How'd you know."
"Well, ever since we left dad's place, I noticed that you're happier and not as irritable as you usually are." Junior explained, "Almost as if dad was a source of negativity in your life. There's also the fact we haven't gotten any phone calls from dad, almost as if he doesn't care about us anymore."
The last statement caused Junior and Shelly to frown.
"Actually, I kind of knew for a while that you two were getting divorced." Junior said. "Anytime I asked about dad, it was just me getting my hopes up that you two worked out a deal or something. I can see now that's not what happened. You two are really done."
"Yes, Junior," Shelly said.
"How did this happen?" Junior asked.
"Well Junior, you see, when you get married there are certain thing that you should and should not do." Shelly explained, "Your father did something he shouldn't have done."
"What did he do?" Junior asked.
"I caught him…being friendly with another woman." Shelly answered.
"Ah, so you caught him having sex with another woman." Junior bluntly said.
"Junior!" Shelly scolded, "How did you hear about that word?"
"The internet teaches you a lot of things, mom." Junior answered. "Things that are better left unseen."
There was a brief silence before Junior continued by saying, "Anyway, why would dad cheat on you?"
"I don't know, Junior." Shelly said. "Maybe he just fell out of love with me. I tried to be the best mother and wife I could be, and I loved your father unconditionally, but I guess he took that for granted."
"Well what matters is he's out of our lives, and we can move on to bigger and better things." Junior said. "Who knows, maybe this Mr. Oppenheimer can be my new daddy."
"Hopefully." Shelly said.
"You think I'll get to meet him?" Junior asked. "I know I saw him at the wedding, but I never really hung out with him that much, mainly just sticking with his kids, Edgar and Tori."
"We'll play it by ear, Junior." Shelly said kissing her son's forehead. "In the meantime, get some sleep. It's past your bedtime. We'll talk more about this in the morning."
"Okay, mom." Junior said as he got under the covers.
"Are you sure you're okay with this, you know, the divorce?" Shelly asked.
"Like I said, I think the divorce is a good thing." Junior said. "We get to be closer to our real friends, you're happier, and maybe we can start a family with the Oppenheimers. Everybody wins."
Shelly and Junior laughed as the former proceeded to leave the guest bedroom. Before she shut the door, Shelly looked back at her son.
"Sweet dreams, Junior." Shelly said.
"Good night, mom." Junior said. "I love you."
"Love you to." Shelly said as she closed the door and let Junior sleep.
TO BE CONTINUED…
(Cue Don't Think Twice by Hikaru Utada (Characters and events that have yet to appear/happen will be mentioned here))
(How did I live in a kingdom of thieves? And people who say things they don't really mean?)
(It's a sunny day and Wendy and Stan are dancing together outside and right next to them are Kyle and Bebe, who are also dancing. Suddenly, the sunny skies turn stormy and Wendy is ripped away from Stan, and Kyle is ripped away from Bebe, both couples trying in vein to reach out to one another. Wendy and Kyle go up into the sky, can the ground gives weight for Stan and Bebe to fall down)
(You're only everything I ever dreamed. Ever dreamed of, ever dreamed of)
(As Stan and Bebe fall, they are enveloped by a red colored paint type substance. Behind the paint is a shadowy figure. It smiles evilly. This figure is one of Jacques Brodeur)
(You must be kidding me, did you really think I could say no?)
(Stan's daughter Lyra, and Bebe's son Felix are running through a grassy plain and two balls of light fall from the sky. The light balls reveal themselves as Wendy and Kyle, who hold their hands out to their children)
(I want you for a lifetime. So if you're gonna think twice, baby. I don't wanna know, baby, I don't wanna know)
(Cartman is standing in front of a statue of a heart. He pulls out a gun and shoots it, causing it to break. Shelly then appears and collapses to the ground, heartbroken)
(Everything is just right. But if you're gonna think twice, baby. I don't wanna know, baby, I don't wanna know)
(Sometime later, Cody Oppenheimer finds the broken pieces of the heart and puts them back together)
(I really don't get what everyone else believes. So why do I say things I don't really mean, really mean.)
(Late at night, Lola and Kenny are in bed. But while Lola is sleeping, Kenny is looking up more information about the crystals he heard about in war)
(I'm only crying 'cause I never dreamed. It'd take this long, it'd take this long)
(Kenny thinks about General Rakish with the big purple crystal floating over him. Suddenly, eight more smaller crystals circle around the big purple one: A red one, a blue one, a green one, a gold one, a pink one, an orange one, a white one, and a black one)
(I want you for a lifetime. So if you're gonna think twice, baby. I don't wanna know, baby, I don't wanna know.)
(General Rakish turns into another villain, Carlos Murciélago. The crystals are still floating over him, and the background changes to the grassy plain from before. The main adults and children are watching in horror at the sight before them)
(Everything is just right. But if you're gonna think twice, baby. I don't wanna know, baby, I don't wanna know)
(Carlos summons a demon warship from out of nowhere and easily takes out the adults and younger children, much to the older children's horror)
(Don't think twice, don't think twice. Don't think twice, baby, don't think twice)
(The children are crying and look like they're going to lose hope when an astral projection of Sir Justice appears. The sight of the unknown hero inspires the children to not give up and put the villain down. The children and Sir Justice charge at Carlos and the warship)
(If you want to take it to an even higher level. All you gotta do is say the word, you know I'll follow. If you wanna take it to an even higher level. I don't, I don't bite)
(Outside of the dream, Isabella Broflovski is looking at a picture of Kyle. Behind him Stan places a hand on her shoulder, which Isabella brushes off and walks away)
(If you want to make it happen, nothing's impossible. All you gotta do is say the word, the walls will crumble. If you want to make it happen, nothing's impossible)
(Shelly gets up from her heartbreak and finds Cody holding a hand out to pick her up. Shelly grabs Cody's hand and we cut to the next scene)
(I want you for a lifetime. So if you're gonna think twice, baby. I don't wanna know, baby, I don't wanna know)
(Stan and Jacques are fighting for Bebe's affections)
(Everything is just right. But if you're gonna think twice, baby. I don't wanna know, baby, I don't wanna know)
(Felix and Lyra are in a dark area, the look behind them to find a older, dying boy in a hospital bed. This boy is named Byron. Lyra and Felix try and run to the hospital bed to see him, but once again, the ground gives weight and the two kids fall into darkness)
(Kiss me once, kiss me twice, kiss me three times. Cross the line)
(Stan and Bebe are alone on a hill somewhere admiring the sunset. The two of them look into each other's eyes before making a move to kiss each other)
(Don't think twice, don't think twice. Don't think twice, baby, don't think twice)
(Cut to night time on that same hill where the Marshes, Broflovskis, Donovans, Tweaks, Tuckers, Cartmans, Stotches, McCormicks, and Oppenheimers are looking up at a full moon. Some of the kids are asleep, but those who are awake are enjoying the company and the beauty of the night sky)
Next time, we check back in on the Marshes and the Broflovskis as they get to swap children and get to know them better.