Civilization (I'll Stay Right Here)
By Kachimoochi
Chapter VIII
Come From Away
On the opposite side of the Earth, Nasir Robertson and his darling mechanical girlfriend ventured to Toronto, Canada to dismantle the core facility that made the submission drug.
Unlike his pal Anaximander, Nasir preferred to fly in the traditional sense, choosing an average spaceship as his means of transportation. The ship was quite angular, almost diamond-shaped in appearance, though it was much bigger on the inside that it appeared on the outside. Within the confines of said vessel, Nasir stood on the command bridge wasting time watching vids and playing games, whist his robotic companions piloted the ship.
"Aw come on! You couldn't do that in the last game!" Nasir bellowed in frustration towards the game he was playing.
"Darling, we are approaching Toronto, Ontario" EVA spoke in her soft, almost whisper-like voice.
"This controller is a piece of CRAP!" The human responded, not listening to the robotic human, whilst trying to maneuver his fingers through a game controller with 9 face buttons, and 3 thumb sticks.
"My love, did you hear what I said?" The human android asked.
"I NEVER FAILED THE MISSION!" Nasir spoke to the ceiling exasperated, losing yet another level in his latest purchase: Star Fox 3, the Ultra Remaster.
"Oh my, I can see a female human dressing up her son as a male Drell, what a sign of progress" EVA spoke monotonly, obviously attracting Nasir's attention.
"What kind of an idiot programmed this ga- WHAT!" Nasir suddenly realized her statement, and pressed his lips and nose against the nearby window of the ship to see the terrifying image.
"hmm hmm hmm, only a joke my love" EVA snickered unemotionally, perhaps feeling very pleased with herself.
"Just count your blessings that you're not owned by Anaximander, the last time Kaisar tried that on him, he tried to force his Geth-head-tube-thing into a hydraulic press" Nasir said.
"You would never do that to me…would you Master?" EVA spoke with innocent, enlarged eyes, asking an obvious loaded question.
"Aww…I could never stay mad at my darling, I love you EVA" Nasir spoke faciouisly, plauing along with EVA.
"Were almost near the ship port…you know what that makes us right?" EVA asked.
"Eh…I don't know what?" Nasir answered.
"We are "Come From Away"s, you and I" EVA responded smugly
"You mean that play, what are you talking about?" Nasir asked, confused by the strange term of endearment, at least it seemed like one.
"It means newcomer in Newfoundland, you are a Come From Away, and if I were a living being, I would be a Come From Away too" EVA educated her lover.
"Aw No, this doesn't mean I have to drink a shot of Screech and smooch a Pollok, do I" Nasir asked, referencing the film they had both watched a month ago on their date night.
"No, we don't have to dance to the beat of the Ugly Stick if you don't want to either" EVA spoke dejectedly.
"Ahh…just land the ship you saucy tart" Nasir finished the conversation, before venturing to his room to properly disguise himself as a Canadian.
"Fine…but no more British programming, I don't like you calling me that!" EVA responded, beginning their final approach.
Before long the pair landed in a docking bay a decent way away from the city, they would have to take a shuttle to the main city of Toronto. EVA had left the ship as it was and paced her robotic legs waiting for her beloved. Nasir Robertson finally disembarked the vessel, dressed as what one would describe as a clown.
EVA broke out into hysterical laughter, even collapsing onto her knees from sheer laughter shock.
"I see your emotional computer is on the up and up, what are you laughing at anyways?"Nasir asked.
EVA still barreled over, could only point at him, which Nasir interoperated as pointing behind him, to the city of Toronto.
"Huh…I see what you mean, once a large, cultural city has given way to a cesspit of multiculturalism and matriarchal control, it would be funny if it weren't so sad" Nasir agreed.
"No not that, well I mean…, I was taking about you, what the hell are you wearing?" EVA spoke in an audible voice, apart from her normal whispery tone.
Nasir looked at himself through the shine of the diamond-esqe skin of his ship. What he saw was a dark-skinned man with defined dimples wearing a red sweater with a white maple leaf in its center, a winter hat with a picture of a moose on it, with antlers protruding the sides, and for the grand finale, a normal pair of cargo pants…with hockey pads attached to them.
"What?" The man asked.
"Are you trying to look like a Canadian, because that isn't what Canadians look like" EVA educated.
"What would you know about it, you were manufactured in Japan, you've never been to Canada before, we're "Come From Away"s remember?" Nasir rebutted her argument.
"What's with the hat, and the sweater?" EVA finally asked, having caught her artificial breath moments before.
"I'll have you know Anaximander bought me this hat when he went here on his school trip, and I ordered the sweater from a Canadian store online, it pained me to have to support a female-owned business, but I needed a good disguise" Nasir defended his appearance.
"Whatever…I agree to disagree, but for the record, that is a terrible disguise" EVA surrendered.
The pair made their way into the shuttle to transport them into the city, the pair taking the seats closest to the exit. EVA would have preferred to spend the 20 minute ride cuddling next to her lover, though Nasir was more content to complain about the frustrating game he had been forced to quit before he left the ship.
"Y'know…ever since Nintendo started marketing towards Elcor, their games have been impossible to control, what kind of an IDIOT makes a controller with 3 thumb sticks, ELCOR DON'T EVEN HAVE THUMBS!" Nasir silently exclaimed, not wanting to attract any more attention than he was already receiving from his dress choice.
"Yes…God forbid that an Elcor be deprived of the 50th remaster of a Mario game" EVA spoke sarcastically.
"First off, they are on the 65th Mario game; they remastered Super Mario Bros. for the 5th time for the 50th game. Anyhow, you know why Nintendo is going downhill lately?" Nasir explained.
"Oh let me take a wild guess" EVA said, beginning to get frustrated.
"BECAUSE GOOGLE BOUGHT OUT NINTENDO, AND HAS BEEN RUINING IT EVER SINCE" EVA and Nasir spoke simultaneously, EVA having memorized his rant previously.
"Alright…I get your point, but do you disagree?" Nasir admitted to talking about his fact every chance he got.
The pair continued to argue with one another, becoming the centre of attention on the small shuttle, populated by business people, tourists, and entitled college students.
Before long they arrived in the centre of the city, and prepared to begin their mission to save the world, or at least the men in it.
"Okay so where is this facility hidden? Beneath a school, Palett Castle, ooh ooh I know, a fertility clinic…hidden in plain sight" Nasir wondered.
EVA looked at Nasir dumbfounded and pointed her finger to a building to the right of Nasir. She pointed to a skyscraper with the words "Sable Corporation" printed on the side of it in stark white letters. Much as it was in Hong Kong, the forced extraction and subjugation of men was widely accepted in a place like Toronto, not that Toronto needed the population surge, Canada as a whole was said to populate more people that the United States of America, though most were illegal citizens.
"Aww! No fair. How come Anaximander gets the cool, secret facility, and I have to infiltrate a corporate skyscraper like friggin' Deus Ex" He complained to EVA, ironically acting as childish as he claimed Anaximander acted.
"Complaining isn't going to change it, now what's the plan" EVA inquired.
"The Plan? Er…well…where is the facility located in the building?" Nasir asked her, trying to come up with a plan, unable to get Star Fox 3 out of his mind presently.
"Oh joy, it's located on the top floor, I guess the idea of someone noticing them doesn't concern them, that's probable how the Chinese stole the formula in the first place. They don't seem interested in hiding it from the Canadian public either, kind of makes you think doesn't it? On the bright side, they aren't holding men captive here, so that's one job we can leave to someone else" EVA spoke, using her Pip-Boy to scan the building searching for points of weakness, and their objective location.
"Alright Nasir, you can do this, you played Deus Ex when they ported it to the New DS, just think of what you did then" Nasir gave himself a pep talk, thinking he contracted Anaximander's high blood pressure problems.
"Uh…Alright I have a plan" he spoke after minutes of contemplation.
EVA's eyes sparkled in admiration, despite Nasir's many flaws, his drive and perseverance was highly attractive, even if she was programmed to love him.
"Step 1. Get out of this ridiculous garb and don a black trenchcoat and implant sunglasses into my face. Step 2. Enter the building and mark all cameras and guards. Step 3. Look for an air vent and travel through it until I find an elevator shaft. Step 4. Climb the shaft until I get to the top floor, and prey I don't get smashed by a hyper-elevator. Step 5. Get into the laboratory, find the formula, destroy it, and destroy the paper trail and exfiltrate. Hah hah I love this plan" Nasir spoke in one breath, dark face turning purple from excitement and exhaustion.
"Eh…maybe skip the first step, add a map to your visual display, and you may have a sub-suicidal plan…darling" EVA spoke finding many flaws in his plan, though she hugged him in confidence.
Feeing very pleased with himself, Nasir wondered to himself.
"I wonder if Anaximander's plan is going as smoothly as ours is"