South Park's Emotional Warzone Chapter 17: Save the Dinner Date
It has been almost one week since the Fourth of July Sing-Off, and to our main characters, this was the best week any of them had in a long time.
On top of Shelly, Junior, The Tweaks, The Tuckers, and The Stotches moving back to South Park once and for all, Stan and Bebe have finally confessed their feelings for each other. Stan and his daughter and Bebe and her kids have hung out every day this past week, and they all enjoyed every minute of it.
Felix and Isabella were happy to have a father figure in their lives once again, and they were even happier knowing that Matthew would have a father figure to look up to. Lyra, meanwhile, for the first time in her life, felt like she had a legitimate family. To her, it wasn't just her and Stan anymore. Bebe had become a mother to Lyra the same way Felix, Isabella, and Matthew have become her younger siblings.
This Friday morning felt no different to them. Stan, Lyra, Bebe, and her kids enter the local grocery store to do some food shopping.
"Thanks for going grocery shopping with me, Stan," Bebe said with a smile.
"You're so welcome, Bebe," Stan smiled back, "I need to do a little food shopping myself. Hey, Lyra, what do you want for dinner this week?"
"Can we barbecue with the Broflovskis again, dad?" Lyra asked.
"Heck yeah!" Isabella said.
"Another barbecue?" Bebe asked, "We've had one almost every day this week."
"Mom, there is no such thing as too much barbecue," Felix said.
Stan and Bebe thought for a minute before nodding their heads.
"I guess it is summer, the season of cook outs," Stan said, "Why not?"
"Yes!" Felix said, "To the meat section!"
The group made their way to the meat section where one of the store employees just finished restocking.
"Alright, gang, what'll it be?" Stan asked, "Steak, chicken, burgers?"
"I can never say no to a juicy burger, Mr. Marsh," Felix said looking at the cases of burger patties.
"We've got to have hot dogs," Lyra said as she handed Stan a package of hot dogs.
"Can't forget my favorite, chicken drum sticks!" Bebe said grabbing a package.
"Chicken, yummy!" Isabella said licking her lips.
"Alright," Stan said as he himself grabbed some steaks, "I've got some nice juicy steaks for us, gang. But what good are steaks without some nice marinades!"
The six head over to the isle with the marinades. Along the way, however, they spotted Stan's parents, Randy and Sharon, as well as Bebe's parents, Jeffrey and Helen.
"Hey, it's my grandparents!" Lyra said.
"And ours too!" Felix said.
The group decided to go up to them and say hello.
"Mom, dad, hey!" Stan said.
"Mother, father, over here!" Bebe called.
The four older adults turned around to face their children and grandchildren approaching them.
"Stan, Bebe, kids, what a surprise," Randy said.
"You can say that again," Stan said.
"What brings you all out here?" Helen asked.
"The usual, mom, I needed to do some grocery shopping and so did Stan so we decided to go together as a group," Bebe said.
"Yeah, us too," Jeffrey said, taking notice as to how happy the six before him were, especially Stan and his daughter, "You know we were all just talking about you two, Bebe."
"We all thought it was really cute how you confessed your feelings for Bebe, Stan," Sharon said.
"I'm just glad you're putting yourself out there again," Randy said, "Not trying to put you down or anything when I say this, but I was worried you'd never get back on that saddle."
"Don't get me wrong dad, the loss of Wendy still hurts and I still miss her to this day, but I know crying about it won't resolve anything." Stan said, "More than anything though, I'm glad I finally gave Lyra a mother figure worth looking up to."
"Well all things considered you and my daughter look really happy together," Jeffrey said.
"Hey guys, I just got an idea," Bebe said.
"What is it, sweetie?" Helen asked.
"Why don't you guys, Stan, and I go out one night for dinner, just the six of us," Bebe said, "We can use that opportunity so I can know Stan's parents a little better, and Stan can know you guys a little better."
"I like the sound of that," Stan concurred.
"That does sound like a wonderful idea," Randy said, "We should do it."
Sharon, Jeffrey, and Helen also agreed that it was a good idea.
"Okay, when do you all want to meet up?" Bebe asked.
"If you all aren't too busy tomorrow night we can do it then." Sharon said.
"I have nothing planned," Stan said, "You, Bebe?"
Bebe shook her head and looked over at her parents for the green light.
"Tomorrow night sounds great," Jeffrey said.
"How does Buca De Fagoncinni sound?" Helen asked, "7:00?"
"Perfect," Bebe said, "Listen, we have to get back to shopping. I guess we'll see you all tomorrow night?"
"Yup," Randy said.
"Okay," Stan said, "It was great seeing you all. See you tomorrow."
"Bye, Stan, bye, Lyra," Sharon said.
"Great seeing you Bebe," Jeffrey said, "You too kids."
"Bye grandma, bye grandpa," Lyra said.
"See you, guys," Isabella said.
The groups went their separate ways to continue their shopping, satisfied in knowing they had made plans for a surely wonderful evening. Little did either of them know however that they were being eavesdropped on in the next isle over by none other than Jacques' assistant, Raphael. Raphael, who was on a grocery run for his employer, had heard everything and immediately ran into the bathroom to call Jacques up on his cell phone. He dialed the number and Jacques answered.
"Qu'est-ce que c'est?" Came Jacques voice on the other end of the line.
"Hello, boss?" Raphael said, "I just have a little tidbit of information I think you might want to hear."
Saturday night came and Stan and Bebe got dressed for a nice night out with their parents. Bebe called up Sheila and Gerald Broflovski to see if they can watch her kids while Stan called up Wendy's parents, Gary and Valerie Testaburger, to see if they can watch Lyra. Both pairs of grandparents agreed to watch their respective grandchildren so they could have a nice night out.
A little bit after Bebe dropped off her kids at Sheila and Gerald's house, it was time to put Matthew to bed. Sheila decided to take Felix and Isabella to Town Square for a showing of Pixar's 'Ratatouille,' as part of South Park's 'Hollywood in the Park' events, so they wouldn't disturb Matthew while he was sleeping. That meant Gerald could also stay home and look after Matthew as well as take care of the bills.
When Sheila, Felix, and Isabella arrived at Town Square and picked out a nice spot to watch the movie, the children were surprised to find Lyra there with Mrs. Testaburger. The three kids asked their respective grandparent if they can hang out with each other to which they agreed.
Lyra, Isabella, and Felix walked around the area just to explore and to their surprise they found more of their friends. Junior was there with Shelly, Cody, Tori, Edgar, Odette, and Sid. Cody came down to South Park with his children so they could hang out with Shelly and Junior. The reason Odette and Sid were with them was because their respective parents decided to go on a romantic weekend getaway in Florida. Tori, Edgar, Sid, Odette, and Junior decided to also hang out the group of three.
They then found Chelsea and Tommy Donovan and Penny, Larry and Barry McCormick, who came with their parents, at another part of the square, and the four kids joined the group of five. Finally, when on line at the concession stand to get some food, they found Paul and Carrie Stotch, Mimi and Cici Tweak, and Lindsay Tucker.
"Well now, I guess the gang's all here," Paul said looking over at Odette and Sid, "with some new faces I see."
"You've seen Odette and Sid at the sing-off last week, Paul," Tori said.
"What I think he means is that they weren't properly introduced to us," Sid said, "Let's rectify that shall we, dudes? The name's Sid."
"And I'm Odette, howdy there." Odette said tipping her Stetson.
"Hey, guys," Junior said, "I'm sure you remember Mimi, Cici, and me from when we visited a few weeks ago."
"Of course, dude." Sid said.
"Well these guys here are our friends," Mimi said, "Meet Lyra, Felix, Isabella, Chelsea, Tommy, Penny, Larry, Barry, Lindsay, Paul, and Carrie."
"Oh yeah, these dudes also performed at the sing-off last week," Sid said.
"Even if y'all didn't win, y'all did a mighty impressive job with your performances," Odette said.
"Thank you, Odette, I thought so too," Felix said.
"You guys also did well when you performed with Mr. Oppenheimer," Cici said.
"How are Junior's mom and Edgar and Tori's dad getting after that anyway?" Chelsea asked.
"Well I'm here to report that I think they've reached boyfriend-girlfriend status and are now residents of Smooch City, population them!" Edgar said. "I assume the same can be said for Lyra's dad and Felix and Izzy's mom?
"You couldn't be more right, Edgar," Lyra said, "No joke I feel like I have a full, legitimate family for the first time in my life. I'm sure Felix and Izzy feel like they got a second chance at the same thing too."
Felix and Isabella nodded in agreement.
"Our mom and Mr. Marsh are currently having a nice dinner with ours and Lyra's grandparents so they can try and know each other better," Felix said.
"Awesome, I hope everything is going well," Tommy said.
"Look alive, guys, I think we're next in line," Barry said as the person in front of them left with a hot dog and a drink in his hands.
"Mmm, yummy, hot dogs!" Carrie said.
"I want a hamburger! No, a cheeseburger!" Penny said looking at the selection on the menu, "I want a hot dog! I want a milkshake!"
"Keep it up, and you'll get nothing and like it!" Larry said, feeling annoyed by Penny's prattle.
As the group looked over the menu and made up their minds on what they wanted to eat during the movie, Lyra noticed something out of the corner of her eye. Behind the concession stand was a road, and parked on that road was a familiar looking limousine.
"Felix, can you come over here with me for a sec?" Lyra asked causing her friend to follow her.
"Where are we going?" Felix asked.
"There's a limousine here, and I think I have an idea as to who it belongs to," Lyra explained, "Quick, behind this tree."
The two kids hid behind a tree that was close to the limousine. They saw the driver take a spare tire out from the trunk and put the flat one in it to replace it. Inside the limousine came a familiar, French voice.
"Zut alors, will you hurry up!" Jacques demanded from inside the limousine.
"I'm going as fast as I can, Jacques, sir," The driver said, trying to keep his patience.
"Tres mauvais," Jacques lamented, "Of all the times to get a flat tire."
The driver put the tire on as fast as a pit crew member in the Indy 500.
"Tire's on nice and secure, sir." The driver said as he made his way back to the driver's seat.
"Magnifique!" Jacques exclaimed, "Next stop, Buca De Fagoncinni. Bebe, mon belle, I'm coming for you!"
Hearing about where Jacques was heading made Felix and Lyra look at each other in worry. They could only watch as the limousine sped off to the restaurant and as soon as it left their line of vision, they left their hiding place and regrouped with their friends who were still ordering at the concession stand.
"Big problem, guys!" Lyra exclaimed.
"You remember that French dude who tried to woo my mom at the sing-off last week?" Felix asked the group.
"Oh yeah, we remember," Mimi said, "I also remember him getting crushed by a grand piano."
"How did you do that anyways, Lyra, you never told me," Felix said to his friend.
"There are more things at stake here than cartoon logic!" Lyra shouted, "No doubt this French jerk plans on trying to woo Mrs. Broflovski yet again, and it looks like it's up to us to stop him. Who's with me?"
The rest of the group sans Paul cheers.
"I don't know about you guys but I kind of wanted to see this movie, I've never seen 'Ratatouille' before, and I kind of value my time with my mom and dad." Paul said.
"There will be other weekends, Paul," Felix said, "And Disney Plus is a godsend so you can watch 'Ratatouille' literally any time."
"Well here's something you all didn't take into account," Paul said, "Our parents and/or guardians are going to wonder where we are if we're gone for too long."
"Crap, you're right," Felix said as he started to think of a solution on the fly. That was when his friend Bobby Melman appeared.
"Hey, Felix, what's up?" Bobby greeted his friend, causing Felix to get an idea.
"Bobby, that's it!" Felix shouted, "Bobby, listen, me and my pals have to leave for a bit, but our parents and guardians might get worried if we're gone for too long. Where are you and your family situated?"
"Over there," Bobby pointed to a location far from where our heroes are situated.
"Great," Felix said, "You're going to be our alibi of sorts. We're going to tell our parents and guardians that we're going to watch the movie with you so that way they think we're safe and sound and we can go about with what we have to do."
"As long as I can watch this movie in peace that's all that matters," Bobby says as he went back to finding his family.
"Alright, let's go tell our families our little 'alibi,'" Felix said before turning to Isabella, Carrie, Penny, and Tommy, "I'm going to need you three to stay behind and make sure our folks don't get suspicious."
"You can count on us, brother!" Isabella said.
The group went back to their respective families and told them their lie on how they were going to see the movie with Bobby Melman. Surprisingly, they all agreed and sent their children on their merry way. With their parents and/or guardians none the wiser, that meant that Lyra, Felix, and the other 12 kids can run off to Buca De Fagoncinni to stop Jacques and save Stan and Bebe's dinner date.
"Alright, gang, let's move!" Lyra exclaimed as the 14 kids started to run.
"Wait up, guys," Lindsay said, "There's something I always wanted to do in case I need to be somewhere in a hurry!"
With that, Lindsay pulled out her iPod and started to play the song 'March of the Swivelheads' from Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
"Alright, let's jet, dudes!" Sid said.
The group of 14 ran at top speeds towards Buca De Fagoncinni. They first decide to hop a fence and run through someone's backyard where a husband is mowing his lawn while his wife is tending her garden.
"Beautiful yard work, you two!" Lyra shouted as she and her friends ran to the other fence and hopped that.
The next backyard they jumped into had a huge pool party going on. The group had to make their way past the party goers.
"Excuse us, pardon us, gangway, coming through!" Barry said.
"Nice swimsuits, y'all, where'd you get them?" Odette asked as she ran by some people hanging out by the pool.
As Chelsea ran, she snatched a lone soda sitting at the tiki bar and took a sip from it before spitting it out, "Eww, diet!" She cried as she passed by a trash can and threw the soda into it.
Edgar was running too fast and he wound up falling right into the bosom of one of the party goers, causing said party goer to shriek.
Edgar just pulled his face out of the woman's cleavage and just asked, "Pardon me, miss, but are these real?"
Then out of nowhere, the woman's boyfriend appears ready to give Edgar a beat down, despite the fact that Edgar was 12, and this man looks like he's in his early 30s.
"How dare you!" The angry boyfriend said, causing Edgar to run away screaming!
The gang approached the next fence and began to hop it, but Larry stayed behind to introduce himself to two beautiful bikini girls hanging out by said fence and talking.
"Hey there, beauties, I'm Larry McCormick how's it going?" Larry said shaking their hands.
"Larry come on!" Barry shouted from the other side of the fence.
"Well, gotta go, call me!" Larry said to the ladies as he hopped the fence.
The next backyard they jumped into had the fence on the other side of the yard too high to jump, meaning the kids had to run through this person's house. They ran up the stairs to a deck where a middle aged man was barbecuing. Junior snagged a hot dog from the plate that he was putting the food on.
"Smells and looks lovely sir!" Junior said as he and the rest of his friends entered the house.
They ran through the kitchen and then the living room before making it to the front door. In the living room, a bunch of kids are playing Mario Kart 8 Deluxe. Felix stopped for a bit to watch the game, but Lyra grabbed his arm and dragged him off.
The group of kids were now running down the sidewalk and heading towards town. A dog sitting in one of the front yard sees the group running and immediately runs out to them, thinking they're playing some kind of game. The dog immediately ran up to Paul, who was straggling behind and started to bark playfully.
"No, not now!" Paul cried.
He saw a stick laying the sidewalk and he threw it back into the front yard where he came from, causing the dog to go and fetch it, giving Paul the chance to run away and catch up with his friends.
The group entered downtown South Park where Buca De Fagoncini was. They saw a little kid standing on a street corner licking his ice cream cone. They all carefully went around the kid, but Tori wasn't looking where she was going and she bumps into the kid, causing him to drop his ice cream cone, causing him to start crying.
"Oh no, please don't cry," Tori said remorsefully as she pulled a five dollar bill out of her pocket and gave it to the kid, ceasing his tears, "Here, go buy another one, sorry about that."
Tori ran off to catch up with her friends and the kid happily went back to the ice cream shop with the five dollar bill in hand.
At long last, the group finally made it to Buca De Fagoncinni, which was right across the street from where they stood.
"Phew, we made it!" Lyra panted.
"And just in time to, our little travel music just reached its end." Lindsay said referring to the song on her iPod, which she turned off.
At that moment, Jacques limousine finally made it to the restaurant.
"And there's Frenchie, right on schedule." Lyra said.
"It's amazing how we beat him here," Cici said, "I thought for sure he'd get here before us."
The kids watched as the driver let Jacques out and he entered the restaurant.
"He's in," Lyra said, "Come on, all, let's go!"
The kids ran across the street, completely disregarding the 'look both ways' rule, and entered the restaurant only to be stopped by one of the door man.
"Stop right there!" The door man said holding his hand in front of the group, causing them to come to a halt, "And just where do you all think you're going?"
"Please sir, we need to get in there, it's an emergency!" Lyra pleaded.
"Sorry kids, but I can't let you in unless you're all accompanied by an adult," The door man explained.
"Oh that is totally bogus, dude!" Sid shouted.
"Yeah, my mom came here all the time by herself when she was my age," Chelsea complained, "What gives?"
"In case you haven't noticed, missy, times have changed since whenever your mother was a child," The doorman said.
Felix then had an idea, "Wait, sir, my Uncle Ike works here! Can he vouch for us?"
"Oh, you're Ike's nephew eh?" The door man said, "Nice to meet you, but unfortunately he is not present as he has the day off today. If he was working today, I might try and have some strings pulled, but since he doesn't I'm going to have to send you all on your merry way, so go on, shoo, on your bike, you don't have to go home but you all have to get out of here!"
The disheartened group of 14 left, with Lindsay misunderstanding one of the doorman's dismissals, "But I don't own a bike."
The kids walked a few feet away from the restaurant so they weren't within the door man's earshot.
"Well going in there is shaping up to be much harder than anticipated," Paul said, "You don't suppose this place has a back door?"
"If there is one it probably either leads to the kitchen and we'll get found out by the chefs, or it's a fire escape which will sound off an assortment of alarms and we'll get found out," Lyra explained.
"Okay think, guys, there's got to be some way we can get in there without arousing suspicion," Mimi said.
The group thought hard about what to do before Odette eventually speaks up.
"Well, I have something that's worth a shot," said Odette.
Cut a few minutes later and seven very tall figures are walking down the side walk wearing long trench coats and some other type of accessory such as wigs, fancy hats, or sunglasses. The faces of these figures belong to those of Felix, Chelsea, Paul, Cici, Larry, Lindsay, and Odette, and they are riding the respective shoulders of Edgar, Lyra, Junior, Mimi, Barry, Tori, and Sid who are underneath the trench coats.
"Really, Odette?" Edgar said from underneath his and Felix's trench coat, "This is the brilliant idea you come up with? Some Totem Pole Trench Trick? The door man is going to see right through it!"
"Well I didn't see any of you coming up with better ideas," Odette said, "But I think this'll actually work. We look pretty convincing."
"Yeah, so long as the torsos shut their traps when necessary," Larry said.
"On that note, Larry, why do I have to be on the bottom? You're stronger than I am." Barry complained from within his and Larry's trenchcoat.
"Consider it revenge for giving the judges at the sing-off our full names, now be quiet!" Larry said.
"Odette, I'm just saying that if this plan of yours works I'm taking a crap and eating it," Edgar said.
"I'll be sure to break out the salt and pepper then," Odette said as the group inched closer to the front door again.
"Sshhh, quiet guys, we're approaching the front door," Lyra said within hers and Chelsea's trench coat, "Act natural."
The disguised children face the door man yet again.
"Ah, good evening," The door man greeted the 'adults.'
"And a great evening to you too, kind sir," Lindsay said, trying to deepen her voice.
"We'd like one table for seven please," Felix requested trying to deepen his voice.
The door man just stared at the 'adults' and raised a brow.
"Pardon me for sounding rude, but there's something off about you lot," The door man said.
"Uh…whatever do you mean?" Cici asked trying to deepen her voice.
"You seven look a little bit like some kids I kicked out not too long ago," The door man said.
The seven 'adults' got nervous, worried that their cover was blown but Chelsea came up with an idea.
"Oh dear, those little rascals are at it again," Chelsea said in a deep voice, "You must forgive us, sir, I believe it was our children who came around here earlier. They're always trying to get into some kind of trouble."
"So your saying those kids are actually your kids," The door man asked.
"That's exactly right, sir," Chelsea said, "But don't worry, we'll straighten them out as soon as we get home. Please forgive us for any sort of inconvenience they might have caused you."
The door man just continued to look at the 'adults' for a few seconds before smiling warmly.
"Oh, it's alright, we were all children once." The door man said as a waiter came up to him, "Just go easy on them when you see them, sometimes kids don't know any better. Anyway, please follow our dear waiter and he'll gladly seat you."
"Come right this way, everyone." The waiter said as he guided the 'adults' inside.
As they walked inside Odette glanced over at Edgar and smiled at him smugly.
"So will you be eating that crap with or instead of your dinner, Edgar." Odette said haughtily to the boy underneath Felix's trenchcoat.
"Odette, I promise you this trick would never work again in a million years," Edgar said sourly, "We just got really lucky, that's all."
As the waiter guided the 'adults' to their table, they looked to see Stan, Bebe, Sharon, Randy, Helen, and Jeffrey sitting on one side of the restaurant while Jacques was sitting on the other side. The waiter showed them a table that was right in between the two parties.
"Here's your table, everyone," The waiter said most cordially as he placed menus on the table, "Take a seat and have a look at our menu. I'll be back in a few minutes to make sure everything is alright."
"Thank you, sir," Paul said trying to deepen his voice. The waiter left allowing the 'adults' to sit down. The children that acted as the legs hid underneath the table, with the tablecloth concealing them, while the children that acted as the heads got the chairs. The children that sat in the chairs started to look through the menus.
"Are we seriously considering ordering?" Paul said to his friends.
"Well yeah," Felix said, "If we want to disguise ourselves as restaurant diners, we need to go all the way with it. Now pick something."
"Yeah, Paul," Larry said, "I don't know about you but I'm hungry."
"But…" Paul said
"I don't know why you're being so fussy about this, Paul," Lindsay said, "What, do you hate Italian food?"
"It's not the menu I have a problem with, I love a nice pizza pie as much as the next guy," Paul said, "It's just that we need money to pay for this food."
The kids sitting in the chairs faces dropped when Paul dropped that dosage of reality on them.
"Huh, did not know how we missed that detail," Cici said.
Odette poked her head underneath the tablecloth to talk with Edgar and Tori.
"Hey, Edgar, Tori, didn't your dad give you a credit card a few weeks back?" Odette asked the brother and sister duo.
"Yeah, but for emergencies only," Edgar said.
"With Jacques involved, this is an emergency: A love emergency!" Lyra said.
"Besides, your father is a reasonable dude. I'm sure he'll understand," Sid said.
Tori and Edgar thought for a bit and looked at each other in confusion before giving in.
"Okay fine, just don't spend too much," Tori said as she handed the credit card to Odette.
"Alright, gang what are we ordering?" Chelsea said excitedly, "Appetizers, pastas, seafood, steak, desert, my mouth is watering just thinking about it."
"What part of don't spend too much don't you understand, Chelsea!" Edgar said.
"While you guys place orders in, we need to figure out how to sabotage Jacques plans whatever they may be," Lyra said before turning to Mimi, "Mimi, I'm going to need you to sneak underneath his table, listen to anything he says, and then come back to me."
"On it," Mimi said as she left her hiding spot and made her way towards Jacques' table. Mimi hid underneath other tables and behind some plants and statues as she made her way over there to avoid detection. Eventually, the girl snuck underneath Jacques table, which she noticed had a tag with the number 23 on it, keeping an ear peeled for any important information. As she hid underneath his table, she saw the feet of one of the waiters approaching his chair.
"Are we all set to order sir?" The waiter asked.
"Yes, sir," Jacques said, "I would like some veal scallopini with angel hair pasta please."
"One veal scallopini and one tiramisu, coming right up sir," The waiter said.
"Oh, and before I forget," Jacques said pointing at the table that had Stan, Bebe, and their parents, "You see that table over there? I'd like you to send them a bottle of your most expensive champagne courtesy of moi."
Jacques pulls out $500 and hands it to his waiter.
"Of course sir," The waiter said with a bow, "I'll deliver the champagne to Table #9 post haste."
The waiter left to take care of Jacques' orders, while Mimi left from underneath his table to return to her friends. She rejoined her friends back underneath their table to deliver the information.
"Well?" Lyra asked.
"He ordered a veal scallopini to his table, table 23," Mimi said, "But the tid-bid of information that really caught my attention was his order of this place's most expensive bottle of champagne meant especially for Mr. Marsh and Ms. Broflovski at table 9."
"I see," Lyra said, "Looks like we're going to have to sneak into the kitchen. Chelsea, Felix, Edgar, let's go."
"Wait, Lyra, do you plan on sabotaging Jacques' meal?" Chelsea asked.
"Of course," Lyra said.
"Then you might want to consider using this," Chelsea said pulling out some laxative pills from her sweatshirt pocket.
"Where did you get those?" Barry asked.
"Before school ended I pulled a nasty little prank on Sandra Jackson for making fun of my red hair." Chelsea explained, "I took some of my father's laxative pills, grinded them up, and put them in her water when she wasn't looking. I guess I forgot to put the remaining pills back where they belong."
"If we're using those then Barry, Larry, I'm going to need you boys to sneak into the bathroom and get rid of every last roll of toilet paper in one of the stalls," Lyra said, "Whatever stalls are left, I'm going to need you two to occupy."
"Gotcha," Barry said as he got back into his and his brother's trench coat and made their way to the men's room.
"Okay, Chelsea, Felix, Edgar, to the kitchen!" Lyra commanded as she and Edgar went back underneath Chelsea and Felix's respective trench coats and made their way into the kitchen.
The four of them made it to the kitchen doors before stopping.
"Alright we're here, now what?" Edgar asked within Felix's trench coat.
"We'll have to find a way inside, obviously" Felix said.
"But how?" Chelsea asked, "Look at the sing on the door, it says: Employees only."
"Looks like we're going to have to find some chef outfits that are big enough to continue this trench coat trick," Lyra said inside Chelsea's trench coat.
"Well where do you propose we get such outfits?" Chelsea asked.
As if on cue two chefs, one man and one woman both of whom appear to be as tall as the kids' disguises burst through the kitchen doors with the head chef following them.
"Where do you two think you're going?" The head chef asked, "It's a mad house out there tonight and we need all hands on deck!"
"Sorry boss, we're on to bigger and better things," The male chef said.
"That posh place 'Daniel' in New York City called us early this morning and accepted our application," The female chef said, "We'll certainly be making more there in a week than we could make here in a year."
The two quitting chefs took off their uniforms and tossed them the head chef's way.
"But we need you," the head chef cried.
"Sorry, bud, you're just going to have to learn to get by without us," The ex-female chef said.
"Next time you hear about us, the culinary world will be eating out of the palms of our hands," The ex-male chef said as he walked out of the restaurant with his partner shouting, "We made it, ma! Top of the world!"
The head chef groaned and said, "You just can't find good help these days," as he went back inside the kitchen and hung up the chef uniforms.
"Serendipitous!" Edgar said as he watched the whole thing from within Felix's trench coat.
"Let's go in there, come on!" Lyra said as the kids go into the kitchen, ready to sabotage Jacques' plans.
Meanwhile, Larry and Barry had just finished cleaning out one of the men's room stalls of all its toilet paper. Larry was carrying the rolls of toilet paper while Barry continued to support him underneath his trench coat.
"Did Lyra say what we should do with these?" Larry asked looking at the toilet paper rolls.
"I don't think so," Barry said, "We should probably ditch them in the trash."
"Good call," Larry said.
The two brothers prepared to dump the rolls in the bathroom's trash can, but when they a waiter came in and caught them in the act.
"Uh, sir, what are you doing with those rolls of toilet paper?" The waiter asked.
"What do we do now?" Barry whispered to his brother from inside the trench coat.
"I'll handle this," Larry whispered back before turning his attention to the waiter, making sure to disguise his voice, "I'm just simply throwing out this toilet paper my good man."
"Why though," The waiter asked.
"I'll let you in on a little secret, but you can't tell anyone," Larry said, "I'm one of those secret shopper type people, except you know, the restaurant version."
"Oh, a secret diner," The waiter said, changing his attitude, "Tell me sir, how are you enjoying our restaurant?"
"Well up until my buttocks made contact with this sand paper you call toilet paper, pretty good," Larry said.
"You won't give our restaurant a harsh score over something as trivial as toilet paper, would you?" The waiter asked nervously.
"I don't know," Larry said, "But if I were you, I'd make sure you tell your boss to get that ultra soft stuff from now on."
"Yes sir, I'll tell the manager right away," The waiter said.
"So I can dump this toilet paper, correct?" Larry asked.
"I mean, our other diners might need to use the bathroom," The waiter said, "What'll they do if they go into a stall without toilet paper?"
"I don't know," Larry said, "But what are you going to do when your boss penalizes you for a bad secret diner review?"
The thought of punishment and bad reviews got the waiter and he gave in.
"Fine," the waiter said, "Do what you want, just leave toilet paper in the other two stalls alone. I'll see if I can get the boss to get better toilet paper."
"Fair enough," Larry said as he let the waiter use the bathroom. He and Barry waited until the waiter was done and left the bathroom before they occupied the other two stalls.
"Toilet paper in stall #3 is gone, now we wait." Barry said.
Meanwhile in the kitchen, Lyra and Chelsea, and Edgar and Felix make it into the kitchen, now wearing chef costumes as disguises.
"Alright you boys take care of the champagne, Lyra and I will take care of Jacques' veal," Chelsea instructed as the kids went their separate ways.
Lyra and Chelsea went to where the chefs were placing the already prepared food. Once one of the chefs finish making a dish, they place it on a shelf next to a placard that has the table number it has to go to. They saw Jacques' veal scallopini get placed next to a placard that had the number 23.
"Okay, Chelsea, take that meat hammer over there and mash up those laxative pills," Lyra instructed.
Chelsea took some of the pills out of their packaging, placed them on the counter, and smashed them up until they were nothing but a fine powder.
"Sprinkle that all over Jacques' veal," Lyra instructed and Chelsea did just that.
"Perfect," Chelsea said as she admired her work.
"If this doesn't give Frenchie the runs then nothing will," Lyra said, "Let's return to our table."
Lyra and Chelsea leave the kitchen as we cut to Felix and Edgar who approach a chef as he grabs a bottle of champagne from the refrigerator and prepares an ice bucket for it.
"Excuse me, sir," Felix said disguising his voice, "This bottle of wine you are preparing, to which table is it going?"
"It's meant for the party at Table #9, sir," The chef said, "The guy at table #23 wanted the people over there to have our most expensive champagne bottle delivered to them."
"Table #9, you say?" Felix said, "Oh sir you must be mistaken, I believe the person at #23 meant he wanted the bottle to be served to Table #19."
"Table #19?" The chef asked, "I'm pretty sure if I heard the waiter correctly he said that the bottle was meant for Table #9."
"Well there was a mistake," Felix said, "The guy at Table #23 is a total scatterbrain and he caught me coming into the kitchen and he said, 'I'm sorry, I made a mistake, I meant for the bottle of champagne to be sent to Table #19.' He told me he gets his numbers with nines mixed up, you know nine, nineteen, ninety, they all sound the same to him. Between you and me I think he has dyscalculia."
"Dyscalculia, eh?" The chef said, "Oh well, honest mistake. I'll have the waiter send this over to Table #19 post hate, thank you sir."
"No, no, thank you!" Felix said as he and Edgar left the kitchen.
Felix and Edgar rejoined Lyra, Chelsea, and the rest of the gang sans Larry and Barry at the table. They all had their meals placed in front of them and were eating them heartily, making sure to share with the friends that were hiding underneath the table.
"You know the lot of us don't go out to eat as often as we should," Lindsay said, "We should do this more often."
"We literally just started interacting with one another today," Odette said.
"Did you boys take care of the champagne?" Chelsea asked Felix.
"Yeah," Felix said, "Did you girls take care of Jacques' veal?"
"Oh we took care of it alright," Chelsea said.
As soon as she said that, a waiter came out of the kitchen carrying a bottle of champagne.
"And here comes the champagne now," Felix said.
"Aw yeah, let the show begin!" Lindsay said.
Jacques was at his table and he too saw the waiter leave the kitchen with the champagne bottle. He smiled as the waiter approached Stan, Bebe, and their parents' table.
"Tres bien, champagne is served," Jacques said with a grin. But then…
The waiter passed Table #9 and went straight for Table #19, causing Jacques jaw to drop. Table #19 had another couple who was out on a date. Jacques watched as the waiter delivered the champagne to the wrong table. The couple looked surprised when they received the bottle and the waiter pointed at Jacques, informing them that he was the one who ordered the champagne bottle. The couple looked over at Jacques and smiled and waved. Jacques, in an attempt to keep his cool, decided to play along and wave back.
"Peculiar," Jacques said, "I know for a fact I said Table #9."
Jacques train of thought was interrupted when his waiter came up to him with his meal.
"Here you are sir, your veal scallopini," The waiter said placing the dish on his table.
Jacques took one whiff and practically forgot about all of his troubles, "Oh la la, this veal scallopini smells marvelous."
"Well I assure you it'll taste even better," The waiter said as he left Jacques alone, "Enjoy!"
Without missing a beat, Jacques quickly began to dig into his meal as The 12 kids watched from their table. Lyra, Edgar, Mimi, Junior, Tori, and Sid had their heads poking out from underneath their table's tablecloth so they could see everything better.
"This is going to be fun!" Mimi said excitedly.
"And Larry and Barry are still occupying the stalls except for one," Junior said.
"And that's the one without toilet paper," Sid said.
"Bon appetite, Frenchie!" Lyra said with a toothy grin.
Jacques made it through a quarter of his meal, wiping his face with a napkin, "Mmm, this veal is magnifique, that waiter wasn't kidding when he says it tastes even better,"
Jacques took a few more bites before he felt his stomach start to rumble.
"Qu'est-ce que c'est?" Jacques said with a pained expression on his face. His stomach started to growl even louder. "Zut alors!" He cried, "Where is the bathroom in this place!"
Jacques jumped out of his chair and made a b-line for the bathroom. The 12 kids at the table had to muffle their laughter so not to arouse suspicion.
Once inside the bathroom, Jacques tried to open the door to stall #1.
"Ocupado," Came Larry's deepened voice.
Jacques ran to stall #2, but that too was locked.
"I'm in here!" Came Barry's deepend voice.
At long last, Jacques went into stall #3 and did his business. It lasted for so long and it was so loud that people outside of the bathroom could hear it. The smell was so bad that Larry and Barry had to cover their noses and resist the urge to vomit. Eventually Jacques let out a sigh of relieve, signaling that he finished.
But, of course, when he started to do his 'paper work' he could find any toilet paper. Between Jacques champagne going to the wrong table and him getting the runs in a stall with no toilet paper, he was started to grow frustrated. Jacques just looked down at the dress socks that were wrapped around his feet and ankles and he knew what he had to do.
Minutes later Jacques came out of the bathroom, now wearing his loafers with bare feet. He had a look of embarrassment and shame on his face. As he slowly walked back to his table he muttered, "And so ends my favorite pair of dress socks."
The 12 kids watched as Jacques made his way back to his table. It was at this moment when Larry and Barry rejoined the group.
"What's the good word?" Larry asked.
"Jacques is totally embarrassed," Felix said.
"Excellent," Barry said from underneath the table.
Felix took a quick glance at Bebe, Stan, and their parents' table to find that they have finished their meals and are asking their waiter for a check.
"Looks like our parents and grandparents are done dining, Lyra." Felix said to his friend under the table.
"Terrific," Lyra said, "Mimi, head back over there and see if Frenchie is done for the night too."
"Yup," Mimi said as she made her way back underneath Jacques table. Once underneath his table, the girl kept an ear peeled for anything he had to say.
"Great," Jacques said, "My plans, my night, and my socks are all ruined. All I can do now is go up to Bebe and talk to her. Oui, I'll just talk to her. I'd better make it quick though, it looks like she's ready to leave."
Mimi went back to her table to tell her friends the information.
"Jacques is not done yet," Mimi said, "Now he's going to try and talk to Ms. Broflovski."
"Doesn't that dude know when to quit?" Sid asked.
"What do we do now?" Paul asked.
"Hang on, I have an idea," Felix said as he called his waiter over, "Excuse me sir!"
The waiter walked up to their table to see what they needed.
"Yes sir, are we ready for the check?" The waiter asked.
"Yes we are, sir, but first I want to show you something." Felix pointed at Jacques sitting at his table, "You see that man there? It's his birthday today and he's here all alone. So if you could just go over there and, you know sing 'Happy Birthday' for him that would be great."
"Oh of course, sir," The waiter said, buying the lie and taking Tori and Edgar's credit card which Felix had in his hand, "I'll get right on it."
The waiter left and the 14 kids draw their attention back towards Jacques, who was just about to get up and make his way towards Table #9 when…
"1, 2, 3 Hey!"
"Qu'est-ce que c'est?!" Jacques said startled
Jacques was surrounded by a small group of waiters and waitresses singing Buca De Fagoncinni's birthday song, one of whom was playing an accordion and another one who was holding a slice of cannoli cake with a lit candle on top.
"Happy, happy birthday! From all of us to you! We wish it was our birthday, so we could party too!" They sang
The waiters and waitresses sang to an annoyed Jacques as he could only watch as Stan, Bebe, and their parents pay the bill and leave the restaurant. Not long after they left did the group of waiters and waitresses leave Jacques alone to wallow in defeat. Jacques just stared at his slice of cannoli cake, took the candle that was on top and jam the flaming part of it into the cake to put it out.
It was at this moment when Jacques heard laughter coming from our heroes' table. Jacques looked to find all 14 kids laughing with Lyra, Edgar, Mimi, Junior, Sid, Barry, and Tori coming out from underneath their table to join in on the mocking.
"Still think you're going to court my mom, you can think again Frenchie!" Felix laughed.
Jacques was seething with anger at this point, "Just you wait you no good brats!" He shouted, "I will get mon belle Bebe, and you all will be sorry you messed with Jacques Bro-" Suddenly, he felt a rumbling in his stomach again. "Uh oh!" Jacques quickly ran back to the bathroom and the loud sounds of anal evacuation can be heard from inside, "Sacre bleu!" Jacques screamed.
"Sounds like my laxative isn't done with him yet," Chelsea taunted.
"Come on guys, let's get out of here," Lyra said as she and the rest of the group left the restaurant, making sure to grab Tori and Edgar's emergency credit card on the way out. And with that, they headed back to South Park Town Square.
As the group of 14 walked back to the Town Square, they decided to converse.
"So you think Jacques learned his lesson this time?" Felix asked.
"Probably not," Lyra said, "But that's okay, I enjoy making that French Jerk squirm."
"Yeah, me too," Felix said.
"Serves him right for trying to nuzzle up to Ms. Broflovski despite the fact that she belongs to my Uncle Stan," Junior said.
"Totally," Chelsea said.
Paul took out his phone and looked at the time, "You think our folks are getting suspicious about us?" He asked.
"Probably not," Odette said, "'Ratatouille' is a decently long movie and they still think we're watching it with that Bobby kid.
"You know if we hurry we probably could catch the Final Act," Barry proposed.
"Then let's go!" Lindsay said while taking out her iPod, "But if we're running back there we're doing it right!"
Once again, Lindsay put on March of the Swivelheads as the group of 14 raced back to the Town Square, happy that Bebe and Stan's dinner with their parents went well, and happy that they could make Jacques' life a living hell once more.
(Cue Don't Think Twice by Hikaru Utada)
(How did I live in a kingdom of thieves? And people who say things they don't really mean?)
(It's a sunny day and Wendy and Stan are dancing together outside and right next to them are Kyle and Bebe, who are also dancing. Suddenly, the sunny skies turn stormy and Wendy is ripped away from Stan, and Kyle is ripped away from Bebe, both couples trying in vein to reach out to one another. Wendy and Kyle go up into the sky, can the ground gives weight for Stan and Bebe to fall down)
(You're only everything I ever dreamed. Ever dreamed of, ever dreamed of)
(As Stan and Bebe fall, they are enveloped by a red colored paint type substance. Behind the paint is a shadowy figure. It smiles evilly. This figure is one of Jacques Brodeur)
(You must be kidding me, did you really think I could say no?)
(Stan's daughter Lyra, and Bebe's son Felix are running through a grassy plain and two balls of light fall from the sky. The light balls reveal themselves as Wendy and Kyle, who hold their hands out to their children)
(I want you for a lifetime. So if you're gonna think twice, baby. I don't wanna know, baby, I don't wanna know)
(Cartman is standing in front of a statue of a heart. He pulls out a gun and shoots it, causing it to break. Shelly then appears and collapses to the ground, heartbroken)
(Everything is just right. But if you're gonna think twice, baby. I don't wanna know, baby, I don't wanna know)
(Sometime later, Cody Oppenheimer finds the broken pieces of the heart and puts them back together)
(I really don't get what everyone else believes. So why do I say things I don't really mean, really mean.)
(Late at night, Lola and Kenny are in bed. But while Lola is sleeping, Kenny is looking up more information about the crystals he heard about in war)
(I'm only crying 'cause I never dreamed. It'd take this long, it'd take this long)
(Kenny thinks about General Rakish with the big purple crystal floating over him. Suddenly, eight more smaller crystals circle around the big purple one: A red one, a blue one, a green one, a gold one, a pink one, an orange one, a white one, and a black one)
(I want you for a lifetime. So if you're gonna think twice, baby. I don't wanna know, baby, I don't wanna know.)
(General Rakish turns into another villain, Carlos Murciélago. The crystals are still floating over him, and the background changes to the grassy plain from before. The main adults and children are watching in horror at the sight before them)
(Everything is just right. But if you're gonna think twice, baby. I don't wanna know, baby, I don't wanna know)
(Carlos summons a demon warship from out of nowhere and easily takes out the adults and younger children, much to the older children's horror)
(Don't think twice, don't think twice. Don't think twice, baby, don't think twice)
(The children are crying and look like they're going to lose hope when an astral projection of Sir Justice appears. The sight of the unknown hero inspires the children to not give up and put the villain down. The children and Sir Justice charge at Carlos and the warship)
(If you want to take it to an even higher level. All you gotta do is say the word, you know I'll follow. If you wanna take it to an even higher level. I don't, I don't bite)
(Outside of the dream, Isabella Broflovski is looking at a picture of Kyle. Behind him Stan places a hand on her shoulder, which Isabella brushes off and walks away)
(If you want to make it happen, nothing's impossible. All you gotta do is say the word, the walls will crumble. If you want to make it happen, nothing's impossible)
(Shelly gets up from her heartbreak and finds Cody holding a hand out to pick her up. Shelly grabs Cody's hand and we cut to the next scene)
(I want you for a lifetime. So if you're gonna think twice, baby. I don't wanna know, baby, I don't wanna know)
(Stan and Jacques are fighting for Bebe's affections)
(Everything is just right. But if you're gonna think twice, baby. I don't wanna know, baby, I don't wanna know)
(Felix and Lyra are in a dark area, the look behind them to find a older, dying boy in a hospital bed. This boy is named Byron. Lyra and Felix try and run to the hospital bed to see him, but once again, the ground gives weight and the two kids fall into darkness)
(Kiss me once, kiss me twice, kiss me three times. Cross the line)
(Stan and Bebe are alone on a hill somewhere admiring the sunset. The two of them look into each other's eyes before making a move to kiss each other)
(Don't think twice, don't think twice. Don't think twice, baby, don't think twice)
(Cut to night time on that same hill where the Marshes, Broflovskis, Donovans, Tweaks, Tuckers, Cartmans, Stotches, McCormicks, and Oppenheimers are looking up at a full moon. Some of the kids are asleep, but those who are awake are enjoying the company and the beauty of the night sky)