Civilization (I'll Stay Right Here)
By Kachimoochi
Chapter XIV
A Conduit of Death and Despair
Kaisar piloted the futura out of Persia's atmosphere, the car having molded another pod to house the royal guest. Though, the conditions were hardly regal, the Prince of Persia sat in his own pod, confined to a minimum of 5 feet in diameter, his only view being that of a Geth's backside, and a loudly-snoring, bearded human.
"You'll have to forgive the modest transport your highness, but our's isn't a mission we want to draw attention to, most especially by our next contestant in this little game show" Kaisar addressed the Prince through the car's intercom.
"That is quite alright, I've certainly traveled in worse, but I am curious, to where are we going now? Anaximander turned stark-white when he conceived the next person" The Prince responded.
"The next man, though a patriot of Civilization, chose to model himself after a fictional character from an American novel, I suppose Anaximander is worried as to how he'll react to an intrusion in his galaxy, he isn't the kind of person who responds to phone calls either" Kaisar enlightened.
"So he's a method actor?" The Prince inquired.
"Well he's like yourself, he modeled his new life after a character of popular culture"
"What do you mean "like yourself"?"
"You modeled your life after the video game correct?"
"What video game? I have never played one before."
"The Prince of Persia, you know?"
"I've never heard of it" The Prince spoke genuinely, confused as to how a video game could have been created after himself.
"You're kidding, the game where you run on walls, and you even dress like him, you know?" Kaisar reasoned, finding this coincidence impossible.
The Prince simply responded with a puzzled face, shaking his head.
"Ehhh…never mind" Kaisar concluded.
The pair were silent for a moment, Anaximander was of course, still none the wiser as to the conversation. For a man who constantly complained of never gaining enough sleep, he certainly slept a great deficit of time. With Kaisar's and The Prince's voices absent, Anaximander's bear-like snores filled the only sound populated in the outside galaxy of Persia.
Not that it mattered much for long. Kaisar opened his GECK to punch in the coordinates of their next destination, the cryptically-titled planet of: Old Country. With the man they were searching for known to the pair, they already had the PIN for the galaxy, though they didn't visit much, the man never had much to say.
While the whirlpool of purple and blue energy was transporting them to another galaxy, it occurred to The Prince that Kaisar hadn't answered his question in totality, before being sidetracked by The Prince's apparent stolen identity.
"So as I had asked, who is this man we are searching for?" The Prince began again.
"His name is Anton Chigurh: an assassin, in short, he is the sort that hides in plain sight and never misses his shot, he doesn't do it for money either" Kaisar summarized.
"Chigurh? I've never heard of such a name, quite strange"
"Yeah, his nationality is a big part of the mystery, he isn't a real character of course, he's just a man acting as him, but I swear the two are indistinguishable"
"Is that why Anaximander is afraid of him?"
"Not necessarily, most Civilized men never harm one another, as well you know, though Anton seems to spend a proportionate amount of time in his practice, assassinating I mean"
"Then who does he kill, his own population?"
"Usually, though we are aware that he returns to the Milky Way to work, I guess to find a challenge, he never goes for long though, I guess he gets bored easily too, I don't know him that well. You'd have to ask Anaximander for more information, he's known him longer"
Kaisar didn't notice that Anaximander was now awake, still contorted into the fetal position he was sleeping, but now lightly vibrating in fear. His eyes were glazed is sleep, though the fear was still visible. Anaximander was far from a hard man, but it still took a threatening force to cause him anxiety, though it seemed, Anton Chigurh was the appropriate agent. For Anaximander had awoken as soon as the name had exited Kaisar's vocal inventory and voice regulator.
"I suspect the probability of regaining my slumber is miniscule, thus I may enlighten you to Anton's legend, your highness" Anaximander squeaked out of nowhere, his voice breaking from his slumber.
Kaisar immediately turned his head to the surprise; it was the closest to a jumpscare a Geth could experience.
"Anaximander? I hope it wasn't I that had awoken you" The Prince said.
"The very thought of the man is enough to ruin anyone's slumber, in truth" Anaximander responded.
Anaximander would then go on to explain his experiences with Anton Chigurh, The Prince listened eagerly, while the Geth relayed the new information to his history banks.
"I don't know who he was on Earth, but after his liberation he took to modeling himself after the assassin character from a novel titled: No Country For Old Men"
"Both you and I are privy to many assassins, of Earth and Civilization, why is he the only one you quake in fear to?" The Prince inquired.
"Like Kaisar said, Anton doesn't kill for money, not because he doesn't need it, but because he fights for a higher purpose"
"What purpose?"
"I don't know, but if I could hazard a guess, I believe it is fate. He believes that he is an agent of fate, a conduit for death and despair. No matter the bribe, the odds, or the logic, he will stop at nothing until his contract is fulfilled. He pays no mind to innocence or guilt, in his mind anyone he kills was meant to die by his hand"
"He sounds mad"
"Which is exactly why he'd work perfectly for our troupe"
"But we require warriors to fight a fleet, not an assassin to kill a single target."
"Yes, but he is an expert sharpshooter, and a master of sabotage. We can't rely on brute force alone, a stealthy surprise could also work to our advantage"
"Perhaps I am a bit jaded, but aren't we taking this a bit seriously, I thought we established that this wasn't a real fight, but an act?"
"It may be an advertisement, but the battle will be quite real. We may be Civilized, but we are far from invincible, we'll still need every expert we can find, and I don't intend to let a single opportunity slip from our grasp. No matter how terrifying they may be"
The Prince considered his opinion and stance, before presenting another question to his friend.
"Why do you fear him?"
Kaisar listened especially to this question, and even more so to Anaximander's answer.
"There is this thing he does, when he finds someone innocent threatening to compromise his mission. He makes them flip a coin and choose a side, one side resulting in their silence, and the other in their death. I think he views this as putting their destiny in fate's hands, so his can be clean. I guess I believe that someday he'll give me that ultimatum, and there's no way I could ever hope to defeat him, no matter how skilled I may be"
Kaisar fabricated an electronic chuckle.
"What're you laughing at, you've seen him, he's bloody terrifying, just look at his hair!" Anaximander responded to the faint insult.
"You're acting foolish Sir, you know that I'd protect you no matter the danger, there has yet to be a force strong enough to defeat me after all" Kaisar answered.
"Oh yes, as I seem to recall you truly saved our skins from those desert bandits on Persia, you're a regular Rocky Balboa"
"That was different, I wasn't expecting a fight, whenever I'm around Anton, I'm always prepared for anything, though I've only met his once, I'm confident my superior Geth intellect and flexibility could outmatch his inhuman deadliness" Kaisar spoke with booming confidence.
"Whatever you say Kaisar, but I've never seen Anton offer a Geth a coin toss"
"You are overreacting Sir"
"Kaisar, have I ever once over reacted?"
Kaisar then went on to fiddle with his GECK, and formed a compilation of Anaximander's overreactions, and then proceeded to play the audio files over the intercom of the Futura.
Kaisar, I can't make it to the Ambassador's lunch on New Vegas, The Old and the Restless are airing their season premiere.
You can't charge your battery Kaisar, who's going to bake me a cheesecake?
Oh Jesus, I put the microwave popcorn on for 2 hours by accident, HIT THE DECK!
Kaisar? Does this trenchcoat make my arse look fat? No wait? It's the bowler hat isn't it?
Huh, California had outlawed cows because of methane discharges, Kaisar! Ready the nuclear weapons!
I don't care if the import tax is 3,000%, I want my bottle of Thums Up.
That waitress didn't return my compliment, don't leave her a tip, and release her personal information on the dextra-web.
My parents have about 80 birthdays left; Cedar Point closes at 6 PM tomorrow!
Nobody's going to notice us dumping medical waste in the Pacific Ocean, don't give me that look Kaisar, this stuff's expensive to get rid of.
And for the grand finale: People who don't like ranch dressing should be genocided, and their remains eaten by Turian Bone-Maggots.
Kaisar offered a small chuckle to his brief accomplishment, while The Prince bellied over in laughter. Anaximander stared a hole into the curved tube that was Kaisar's head, reminding himself to get revenge for this grievous embarrassment.
"Very funny Macaroni-Head, but my point still stands. That man is more a force of nature than human"
"I am sorry Sir, but as long as my battery lasts, I'll defend you until my disconnecting proverbial breath"
"And I as well, my royal code of honor demands it" The Prince chimed in, regaining his composure.
The pair rode again in silence until they entered the galaxy which contained Old Country. The planet was, as per usual, modeled after Earth, and the destination of the Futura was located in the deserts of western Texas.
"Sir?"
"Hmm?"
"Perhaps now you'll wish to activate you shields"
"Not a bad idea" Anaximander agreed.
"I suppose I'll do the same, it has been a while since I've been shot after all" The Prince agreed, opening the shield menu on his GECK.
The trio drove through the sky of Old Country's atmosphere, watching the calm and arid landscapes that littered the nearby environment. To The Prince, not much had changed; it was as if he hadn't even left his planet. To Kaisar and Anaximander, they were annoyed. They didn't hold disdain for nature, though the cool, and controlled environments of a city were more their style.
Anaximander in particular was known to become angry easily when in hot climates, Kaisar of course hated cleaning sand from his inventory. They hadn't been on Persia long enough for either of these to be an issue, but comfort wasn't one of Anton's priorities when fabricating a new homeworld.
The pair landed on a parking lot in a rural town, right in front of a gas station, not that the Futura necessitated such rudimentary fuel. Anton Chigurh was no doubt aware of their presence, meaning it wouldn't be long until he found them, he always found his prey. The pair weren't on bad terms with Anton, but it wasn't exactly like they were childhood friends either.
Anaximander hoped that once he mentioned Altair's name, Anton would become immediately compliant, Altair was his most gracious employer after all, Anton probably wouldn't kill his two favorite messengers, would he?
The trio left with their weapons, though unequipped. The Prince carried a massive scimitar upon his back, inscribed with Arabic poetry and gilded jewels. Anaximander had forgone his trenchcoat and fedora for his dress shirt and navy dress pants. Part of him considered taking the pants off to fend off the heat, but he needed all the credibility he could muster in the face of Anton Chigurh.
For the time being, the trio rested against their car, waiting for the universe's second deadliest assassin to find them. Hoping they would be greeted by the emotionless face of the man, as opposed to the twinkle of a muzzle, and the silent squeak of his suppressed shotgun.