A/N: Now We see Cartman coming to in a very familiar movie environment. Link-esque in his resurrection. Enjoy.

1: SOL 34,493

"In cryo, you don't dream at all…" -

Jake Sully JAMES CAMERON'S AVATAR

Light was the first thing that finally came back to my eyes, I could suddenly feel myself begin to slowly move.

"You've got to be…" But sure enough as light continued to fill my space eyes suddenly got a glimpse of the glass tube I was suddenly now in. My situation in this case became apparent.

"Bae, as much as I like you this has to be one really long joke." But suddenly I could hear a countdown slowly begin to kick in.

HYPERCRYO Revival commencing

Without warning the glass began to lower and I could feel myself falling forward and smacking the ground in fish like manner.

"Oh Really!"

My body as much as I wanted to get up twitched as I crawled along the unfamiliar metallic and plastic foam terrain.

"Heidi, when I find you I'll…"

VOCAL IDENTIFICATION CONFIRMED HELLO ERIC CARTMAN

"Who the hell are you…"

Space X Tesla Hub V. 5.0…But you may refer to myself, the main operations system as Karen

"Tesla…" As I slightly lifted my head I now noticed the layout of this very familiar looking Hub. One extra-large operations console and a bunch of smaller stations including a bed, entertainment tv and a kitchen contacting a bunch of space food including 2 random items. Potatoes and Cheesy Poofs.

"Karen where am I…"

AUTOMATIC QUESTION TRIGGER

Without Warning the main console turned on and began to play a video screen. Musk now appeared on video standing behind Heidi's video board

"This is Elon Musk recording on November 18, 2016. This Message is for Eric Cartman and has been programmed to play within 10 Minutes of him waking up from Cryo Sleep. Eric I do apologize for the circumstances you now found yourself in, but with the chaos of Troll Trace beginning to spread Heidi and I made the executive decision to send you into space. If our calculations are correct you will have woken up on Martian Sol 34,493.

"That Bitch…"

"Mars yes, is cliché, but with Matt Damon's potato recipe having been stocked and preserved will in advance along with an assortment of your personal favorite foods given by Heidi Turner in advance you should be able to manage the 31 Sols until the return ship will be set to take you back to earth."

Having enough I wanted him to shut up for a minute and decided to test my ai system. "Karen Pause Video…"

As The video paused my mind went over the possibilities. I'm alone on mars, and even though Mom, Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Butters have no idea im even here. This could be beneficial.

"Karen what day is it."

ERIC COMPUTER Listed Day of Sol 34,493 calculates out as Monday October 12, 2116

"2116!"

YES YOU HAVE BEEN IN CRYOSTASIS FOR 100 YEARS

"What the…."

Not since Kyles mom went insane on Christmas was I ever this furious and I let that computer have it. In what seemed like a nearly 5 hour rant. So much so that I never even noticed the rest of me slowly coming back to life, when Karen finally brought me back out of it.

ERIC…

"Now What…"

YOUR MESSAGE FROM MR. Musk REMAINS ON PAUSE BUT YOU DO HAVE ANOTHER ONE FROM HEIDI TURNER

One simple request to play and now I see Heidi's face, just as beautiful even a century later.

"Hi babe, listen I know you are pretty pissed at me, and I wish I was there with you. But with South Park collapsing I wanted to keep you out of harm's way while I plan to go back home to try to stop it."

Now my face went from anger to purse shock.

"If you get this know that the return shuttle will launch by remote within 30 days of your awakening. I don't know what kind of world you'll be coming back to, but I plan to stop this calamity no matter what."

Heidi's face cut out and that just left me in mere shock.

"What did I do to deserve a girl like her…"

My face looked on at the hub and somehow the words of The Martian movie now seemed to echo hard into my mind. I'm not a fan of work, but somehow, they knew that and made this hub as easy as possible to manage. All I knew now was it was imperative that I get home.

"Karen, are you ready to help me science the shit out of this place…"

LET"S GET TO WORK ERIC

A/N: Cartman makes his climb out of the proverbial cave and returns home with Chapter 2: SOL 34,520. As Always Subscribe for More.