A/N:After a long hiatus this resumes with Cartman going full Link with one unexpected encounter. Enjoy.
6. Starks Lake
The first major point of interest I see as I begin my way northeast is what used to be known as Starks Pond.
"Man that's a big lake."
The biggest body of water I've ever seen was the one visit I had to Boulder, the lake nearby there was something to behold. But this looks like the dog that would drink that lake if it was thirsty.
Boats were hard to come by as what seemed like old tech strewn about the ground. Until I came upon a small raft that was barley held onto a dock.
"Ok where is that sail."
The lone item nearby was a small bush full of palm fronds. The biggest one I picked and grabbed. It's a crying shame that there are no real boats, and the sail on this looks like it had seen better days. As I grabbed onto the rope and let it loose my weight loss had finally become apparent as I barley made a dent in the raft as I hopped on. But with no wind in sight I failed about in despair until one swing of the palm frond gave me the sudden gust I was waiting for.
"Whoa…"
Now I could start to feel the motion. 5 more thrusts and speed built up, a nearby air current finally caught the sail and that allowed me to relax for a bit. Under normal circumstances id usually find some way to put my issues onto others. But I'm completely alone. On this day I could see a few standard wildlife, but some new ones as well as the fish that leap from the water now seem to have lizard tongues on them.
"This isn't like Chernobyl is it?"
But as I grabbed the water and cupped it to drink, something odd I now noticed, this tasted near like bottled water.
"This is purified…"
Its as if the entire lake has its own water purification plant. Luckily my bag had 4 canteens so I quickly gulped down a bunch of water before I stowed the rest for the road ahead. It took nearly an hour but I now found a dock and quickly tied up the raft. On the adjacent path now showed the valley ahead. To the north was my first intended destination. Stan with the horses.
"You figured Stan would have liked veal instead."
It was an hour later on this path that I suddenly noticed a gallop of a horse.
"Woah…"
Yeah that thing had something on top of it that wasn't clear at first, but the moment I saw the arrow flying I realized what it was.
"Joozians…"
The green goblin esque creature road the brown steed shrieking at the top of its lungs. I lunged behind a rock and ducked as it swung around.
"OK, the Zelda demo is starting to look like child's play compared to this." Arrows strood about the rock as it kept circling waiting for me to leap away. But behind the Joozian something else popped into frame.
"YEAH!"
Oh boy, the young woman was on her own orange horse as she speared the joozian sending pink blood spraying my direction. That caused me to leap to get away but her speed was paramount as she leapt and backflipped next to my position.
"HALT!"
Her spear still covered with the pink blood and green skin hung dangling at my knees as she removed her backbrace revealing the forms of a photoshop body of Stan and Wendy.
"You're new…Something tells me you've been long for the area. Tell me do you know the name Randy Marsh…"
Why would she bring up Stans Dad? My head shook nervously at the mark.
"The Great Great Great grandsire of our Poofballest often spoke of the one who smelled of cheesy poofs. I do believe you have that stench…Which is why…"
As much as breaking free seemed needed I just allowed her to quickly restrain me and mount me behind her on the horse. The girl smiled hesitantly as she clutched the spear while turning back to see how I was doing.
"Hold tight we have a ride ahead.
We galloped off and I know that even Link wouldn't have had this rough a welcome. Especially considering 101 years earlier I had that demo down pat.
A/N: Cartman's journey picks up as they arrive in a Horse Lord utopia in Chapter 7: Poofballteno. As Always subscribe for more.