chapter 649 AR/crack
good god, two updates in one day and the other is a crack
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"grandmother!"
hashirama beamed seeing her granddaughter arriving at the battlefield, accompanied by four others whom she assumed to be the other kage. the yamanaka girl behind the first hokage subsequently announced their arrival using her jutsu.
"tsuna!" her smile turned into a worried expression upon seeing tsunade's condition. her clothes were in tatters. "what happened to you? where were you...?"
tsunade knelt beside her resurrected grandmother. "i-the five kage, we had to face madara..." she bared her teeth. "he toyed with us and left us in near death state-"
"what?" if hashirama had a living body, her heart would've stopped.
"-if help didn't come, I'd have died being bisected by a gigantic trunk."
hashirama abruptly rose, causing yamanaka to stumble although she managed to keep her hand on the woman's head. "madara!" she roared, facing the hill where that man sat waiting, "you almost killed our granddaughter!"
"grandmother..." tsunade whispered, "but that's impossible..."
"of course it's not impossible!" hashirama yelled out of anger. "before that battle in the valley, we had-"
the yamanaka girl shrieked, blood flowing from her nose as she fainted. tsunade's face turned deep red, mouth agape. several shinobi around them turned to stare wide eyed at hashirama, their nose bleeding; some even fainted like yamanaka.
"...ah," hashirama just realized her mistake.
someone landed nearby, their form hidden beneath the cloud of dust caused by the impact. madara stepped out, cautiously approaching the women, his face unreadable. "is that true," he asked coldly, "that i have a granddaughter?"
"whom you almost killed!"
he stopped few meters away, scowling. "you never told me you were pregnant!"
"how the heck was I supposed to tell you when you were busy trying to destroy the village we dreamed of?" hashirama yelled back.
tsunade hid her face in her hands and muttered, "for sage's sake, this is so awkward."
madara threw his gunbai away, growling, "you should've told me!"
"you're a criminal and i was already married when i found out! my husband agreed to keep it secret, even from tobira-"
a blue-white shadow passed them, kicking madara in the face, then returning to hashirama's side, screaming, "how come you kept it secret from me, ane-ue?"
"your reaction is why i never told you!" hashirama wiped blood from his nose. tobirama winced.
madara's resurrected body healed, then he proceeded to return the punch to tobirama. hashirama groaned as they resorted to fist fighting. tsunade sat on the ground, still hiding her face in her hands.
"...do you still want to continue?" naruto asked, discreetly cleaning the blood pouring to his chest while everyone was busy observing the fight between madara and tobirama from far away.
"dunno," obito answered flatly, glancing at the unconscious uchiha. "sasuke seems losing too much blood."
naruto sighed, picking up sasuke from the ground. "let's just go home..."