US ACRES QUICKIE!

THE BIRDS WENT OVER THE BARNYARD!

Orson: Hey guys! I've found a fun way to go over the fence!

Roy: Really? What kind of way?

Orson: Follow me!

Orson and his friends gathered up a cinderblock and a long wooden board. They used them to build a seesaw.

Orson: Okay guys, I'll get on this board and you guys jump on the other side, and I'll be sprung onto the other side of the fence. Good thing I brought my crash helmet. Ready?

Wade, Roy, Booker, and Sheldon: Yeah! We sure are!

The birds jumped onto the board, but instead of Orson flying over the fence, it was the other way around. They fell onto the field.

Orson: That is not exactly what I had in mind.

Roy: Try losing some weight, fatso!

Wade: This is the closest thing I've ever done to flying.

Booker: Guess you didn't really take into account your weight, huh Orson?

Sheldon: I thought pigs were supposed to be smart.

Orson: Guess it's back to square one.

Our story begins on the lovely US Acres farm, where we see the gang playing a nice game of catch together.

"Eat this breadcrumb breath!" Roy said as he tossed as the ball to Wade.

"Yikes!" Wade gasped as he saw the ball coming close to him.

Wade covered his eyes and turned around his head. Just then, the ball hit his inner tube and bounced over to Sheldon.

"I got it!" Sheldon hit the ball with his foot to Booker.

"Thanks Sheldon!" Booker said as he grabbed the ball. "Orson, catch!"

"I've got it! I've got it!" Orson said as he held out his baseball glove.

Just then, a female pig came walking by and she really caught Orson's eye, causing him to miss the ball and for it to bonk him on the head.

"Hey Orson! What happened? You missed it!" Booker ran over to the pig.

"Yeah! It's not like you to miss a ball." said Sheldon. "You always are determined when we play catch."

"You missing a ball is like Lanolin taking a yoga class." Roy remarked. "What's going on?"

"Oh sorry." said Orson. "I guess I was thinking about something else."

"You mean that?" Roy pointed to the female pig.

"Who? Lenore? No way." Orson shook his head. "I'm not in love with her. I'm just merely fond of the ground on which she walks."

"Exactly." Roy smirked. "You like her, pork-o and you are going to get her to notice you."

"Forget it, Roy!" Orson folded his arms. "I have no idea what you're talking about!"

After just a few minutes, Orson was watching Lenore from behind the bushes.

Lenore looked at a box of candy that was on the bench, "Oh well look at this."

She read the note attached to the box, "Roses are red. Violets are blue. I bought this just for you. Awww, isn't that sweet?"

Just then, Booker came walking by and saw Lenore looking at the box of candy.

"I wonder what silly dipstick went broke giving her that." He sneered.

Orson turned to the chick and glared at him.

"What?" asked Booker.

Later that day, Orson saw Lenore walking down the field. He then strutted up to her, looking all show-offish.

"Hey there, Lenore." said Orson.

"Oh Orson, but I just saw you back in the corn forest a minute ago." Lenore said.

"Well, I do get by." Orson chuckled. "Say, that's a nice box you got there."

"Oh yes, it is." said Lenore. "I wonder who could have given me these chocolate covered peanuts."

"They're not peanuts, they're almonds!" Orson corrected her, then immediately covered his mouth when he figured out what he said.

Lenore just smirked right at him.

Orson turned around and saw Roy, Wade, Booker, and Sheldon laugh right at him.

Sometime later, Orson went to the hill and ran into his friends.

"Hey Orson! Where is your girlfriend?" Roy laughed. "Or is it a secret relationship?"

"Well I could date Lenore if I wanted to, but I just choose not to because I don't want you guys to get jealous." Orson folded his arms.

"Come on Orson, admit it!" said Booker. "You're afraid to ask Lenore out."

"Boy, asking for a date is pretty scary." Wade said nervously.

"Admit it, Orson! You are in love with Lenore!" Booker said.

"Forget it!" Orson denied. "I don't ask Lenore out because I don't feel like it!"

Just then, Lenore came up on the hill.

"You don't feel like what, Orson?" Lenore asked Orson.

Orson started to stutter, "Well, I uh, well..."

"Just tell Lenore you're afraid to date her, Orson." said Roy.

"Uh...um...uh..." Orson stammered.

"Well that's too bad." Lenore smiled. "Because I was going to ask you to go to a movie with me later this afternoon."

Orson gasped and smiled.

Later that night, Orson and Lenore started walking back from the movies.

"Gee, that sure was a nice movie, Orson." said Lenore.

"Yeah, it was." Orson smiled, not really listening.

"I love the part when the man stopped those Kung-Fu Creatures and blasted off into space as Cecila watched with tears in her eyes." said Lenore.

"Really? When was that?" asked Orson.

"At the very end." said Lenore. "You really weren't paying attention, were you?"

"You know Lenore, there is a new movie playing tomorrow." said Orson. "Muncie Davis and the Temple of Impending Doom IV."

"That's nice, but I really must go see my aunt that day." said Lenore.

"Then we'll do it the day after tomorrow." Orson suggested. "Or maybe, we can do it the day after that, or the day after that, or the-"

"Just a minute, Orson." Lenore cut him off. "Look Orson, you know that I am deeply fond of you and care for you very much."

"You do?" Orson gasped.

"Yeah, but I don't care for you that way. I only like you as a friend." Lenore said gently.

Orson's ears drooped. "A...a friend?"

"We'll always be good friends, won't we, Orson?" asked Lenore.

"Uh, yeah...sure." Orson said as he sadly walked away.

Sometime later, Orson put his feet into his mud hole, feeling sad about losing Lenore. Just then, Booker and Sheldon came walking.

"Hey Orson, how did it go?" Booker asked the pig.

"Not so well, Booker." Orson sighed. "Lenore just wants to be friends. It's just not fair, I wish I were someone else."

"Orson, you're perfect the way you are." said Sheldon. "You don't have to be anyone but you. We love you for who are. I think what truly matters is that you gained the courage to ask Lenore out."

"Yeah." said Booker. "Besides, it's her loss. She missed out on a pretty great guy. Anybody would be lucky to have you in their lives. Me and Sheldon sure are."

"Thanks guys." Orson smiled at the chicks. "That means a lot."

Orson put his arms around Booker and Sheldon and the three of them looked up into the starry night sky.

Author's Note:

Well folks, Booker and Sheldon really brightened Orson's spirit, but that doesn't mean he took it well when Lenore rejected him. Love at first sight may be alright, but a second can get you back in the saddle. After all, that's part of growing up. Now, let's see how Jon is doing in his love life.