They were instantly moving quickly bringing me back to the tent. I was asked to stay put while they went off to talk about what was happening. Time felt warped when I was alone. I eventually curled up on the bunk a numb dread falling over me.
It was so loud, and so quiet at the same time. It should be quiet, but instead I could hear everything happening to me. I closed my eyes but it didn't help much. Eventually I heard footsteps heading to my tent. When the flap opened I thought about faking being asleep, but sighed and pulled myself up only freezing when I didn't recognize the woman standing in the doorway.
Her hair was a familiar shade of golden-brown but her eyes were a rich brown. She was absolutely lovely, like a flower just blooming in the spring. Fragile, in a way. Her eyes swept over me for a moment and then she moved to sit at the end of the cot.
"Hello." She spoke softly.
"Hi." I said pulling my legs away from her. She took in the action with sad eyes. A lot about her screamed sad. Like she was mourning something. A lot of somethings.
"My sister said you'd be here." She glanced to her hands. "She said you were like Nesta and I."
"I wouldn't know." I told her cautiously. "Who's your sister?"
"Feyre." I could see the resemblance now. Where Feyre was all power and beauty this girl was all softened edges and gentle beauty. "She said you were Made."
"I guess you could call it that." I said glancing to my arms. "I don't really get what happened."
"Are you okay?" I felt my throat close slightly at her soft question. Eventually I simply shook my head a deep exhaustion sweeping through me. I could hardly wrap my head around anything that had happened. "I understand."
We sat in silence for a while then without warning she moved to me pulling out a brush. She held my gaze in a silent question. I bit my lip but nodded slightly. She tucked herself back behind me and began a slow and torturous process of getting all of the knots out the hair little by little. I closed my eyes not wanting to see it as it began to fall more readily around my face.
"My name is Elain." The brush was moving easily now. I could feel silken strands brushing lightly against my face.
"I'm Nova."
Another silence where Elain simply brushed my hair, even if the knots were gone. I wondered if she was trying to comfort me, or if the motion of it comforted her. Eventually I opened my eyes and jerked slightly at the color of it.
This body I was in.
It was the lightest platinum I had ever seen. I could tell that the dirty water had darkened it a touch, but otherwise it was so silver that it was almost startling. My stomach rolled. It was the same length as my old hair, but that was where most similarities ended. My hair had been golden and darker. It had the same natural wave to it at least, but the texture was so much better. So much softer. Like running strands of silk through my fingers.
"It's different." I told her quietly.
"What did you look like before?"
"I….I had blonde hair." I said letting another strand of silver brush over my fingers. "It didn't like to look smooth or pretty most days. I always wore it up and out of my face because of how frizzy it liked to get. Freckles everywhere. Pale. Hazel eyes that on a good day looked amber." I listed off a strange emptiness in my chest expanding. "No tattoos."
Elain stayed quiet which I took as a bad thing. She quit brushing my hair and simply sat with me listening to the muffled conversations and footsteps. When Rhysand and Azriel strode through the door I had nearly fallen asleep sitting up. Elain glanced to the two of them and then to me. Both seemed shocked to see her there.
"Elain, what are you doing here?" Rhysand asked gently.
"I wanted to keep Nova company. She shouldn't be alone." I glanced to her shocked but she just gave me a tired smile. There was an understanding in her eyes that made me want to break down crying. Instead I gave her a small smile back. She knew what it was like, I could tell by the set of her shoulders, the way she watched me. A pulse of understanding between the two of us and her smile widened the smallest bit.
"Are you prepared?" Rhysand looked me over. "We will be going straight into the meeting of High Lords."
My stomach clenched thinking of being paraded in front of a group of strange and powerful people all because I caught a book. A book that was etched into my very skin. My very being.
Do not fear. Something deep inside whispered. I violently shoved it down, deeper inside of me to a place I couldn't hear. I hated it. That voice that tried to speak to me. The sound that raced along with my pulse and shifted underneath my skin.
"Yes." I sounded calm. I stood glancing at Elain one last time. She looked the smallest bit concerned standing with me.
"Bring her back." Elain suddenly spoke. Both men, who had been looking to me shifted to look at her surprised. "She doesn't deserve this." There was a deep seeded emotion in her voice that made me wonder if she somehow saw herself in me. "You bring her back so we can help heal her."
"I don't need-"
"Yes, you do." For someone so soft her eyes looked like living flame for a moment. Those flames looked to Rhysand then settled onto Azriel. "She deserves better. This is our fault."
"I don't see how-"
"We broke the Cauldron." She cut Azriel off. "Feyre and Amren broke the cauldron so that we could win. Feyre threw the book away. This is the price."
For a moment I could hardly stand the feeling of all their eyes.
"Listen I'm not some price that was exacted." I glanced between them. "I'm not anyone's problem but my own. I don't need any of you." Azriel's eyes hardened the smallest bit.
"We don't have time for this. Elain, I understand. Nova, if you will?" I expected him to hold out his hand, but Azriel beat him to it those intense eyes boring into mine. I slowly took his hand and tried my best to keep up with their quick pace. More winged men this time noticing me and staring as I was paraded between the two men.
"Rhysand, you said you're a High Lord?" I asked too nervous with the increasing attention. He tilted his head to look at me.
"Yes."
"And Cassian said that you had the Night Court?" Azriel glanced at me as we walked. I met his gaze before looking to my own feet marching over the grass. I hoped that nothing was going to stab me.
"You remember that?"
"If your Court is Night, what are the others?"
A soft laugh that reminded me of soft breezes in the moonlight. "Well, there are seven courts that rule over Prythian. Winter, Summer, Autumn, Spring," Rhysand listed off ticking his fingers as he went. "Then there's Dawn, Day, and my own Night Court."
"What about Dusk?"
"Dusk?" That was Azriel.
"Well if you have Spring, Summer, Autumn, and Winter that makes sense because it covers each season. But if you have Dawn, Day, and then Night you're missing another transitional period. Think of it like skipping Autumn."
"Dawn covers both." Rhysand seemed amused. "Have you been taught somewhere?"
"What do you mean? Do you mean did I go to college?" I asked seeing a big tent in the distance that I had a feeling was our destination.
"Have you had proper schooling?"
"Ummmm….yeah I guess. I was in normal school from when I was five to when I was eighteen. Then I spent four extra years in college getting a double degree in journalism and English." I started counting in my head. "So I guess around eighteen years' worth of school."
"How old are you?" Azriel asked his hand flexing around my own.
"Twenty four."
"Eighteen years out of twenty four." Rhysand had slowed his pace.
"Yep. Let's see that would be about...if you reduce it down….." I bit my lip working through reductions in my mind. "Math wasn't my strongest suit." I told them quietly. "About….seventy five percent of my life I think."
"What all did you learn about?" Azriel seemed genuinely interested.
"Oh everything." I sighed. "Math, Science, History, Languages. Anything and everything they could shove down our throats. I mean, not important day to day adult skills like taxes or how to navigate a tough interview, but I mean at least I know that the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell. I loved music the best though."
"Were you a noble?"
I glanced to the shadow-ringed man and shook my head. "No, I guess you'd call me a peasant in those terms. Or maybe a Scholar since I did go to college and work my ass off at it."
Then we were at the tent. I felt my throat close up. It was too easy to talk about things I knew about. Anything familiar in this landscape of weird. But reality quickly came crashing down around me. They could see it too.
"It's going to be okay." Rhysand stopped in front of me. "I know you don't know us or trust us. But we are going to do everything we can so that you come back with us. We can give you a safe space to figure things out. Elain was right. Your fate is because of all of us."