I awoke to the sound of a small argument.
"Just let her sleep." That sounded like Morrigan, a very fed up Morrigan.
"I don't know, I think I'm siding with Azriel on this one." Cassian. "Sleeping the whole day away isn't what's best for her."
"She's been through a lot, let the female sleep."
I sat up in bed feeling the world settle around me slowly. Another set of clothing had been set out, sitting on the dresser. I tried not to think about the fact that someone had to have come into my room to set my things out. I moved as quietly as I could quickly moving over to slip on the simple white shirt and a pair of soft brown pants.
"What if she slips into despair like Elain?"
"Elain was mourning her betrothed." Morrigan shot back. I glanced at myself in the mirror and saw that with a quick finger combing my hair was back to being pretty and softly curling around my face. I looked like a stranger.
"Do we know that she didn't leave behind someone in her world?" Cassian asked a bit quieter. There was a moment of thick silence.
Rage and jealousy flickered faintly.
"She didn't mention it." Morrigan sounded unsure. "We don't really know much about her."
"She's educated." Azriel sounded calm. Just listing off a fact. Stil in the distance that jealousy and rage simmered. I tried to understand why I would be feeling upset, but the feeling didn't feel like me. I shook my head and quietly moved towards the door.
"Not trained in combat." Cassian added with a chuckle. "Should have seen that punch…"
"Why am I not surprised she already tried to punch you?"
"I should have with the comments he made." I said pulling open the door. Cassian and Morrigan jerked slightly looking vaguely guilty. Azriel simply took me in his eyes roaming over me in a slow sweep.
"What comments?" Cassian recovered first an easy grin coming to his face.
"Bite me." I deadpanned raising an eyebrow. He chuckled at the comment his grin turning slightly predatory once more.
"You asking?"
Rage. I blinked trying to push away the anger. I had no reason to be angry with Cassian, even I knew that he was just messing with me. "You wish." I shot back. Morrigan smiled at the banter her eyes sparkling with some emotion I couldn't quite place.
"Well...now that you're up...would you like to spend the day with me?"
"Ah," I watched her for a moment. Saw the way the two men glanced between us. How excited she seemed. How worried. For the most part it seemed that she wore how she felt on her sleeve. It was refreshing how honest she seemed. "I would love to."
All three smiled at my response.
"Rhys mentioned that seeing Velaris might be good for you." Morrigan said stepping out of the way so that I could close the door behind me.
"Velaris…" I let the name settle on my tongue. "Is that the city below?"
"The same one you were looking at last night." Cassian answered taking a few steps down the hallway. I moved with their little group trying my best to seem excited if only for the joy that it seemed to bring Morrigan.
"It was breathtaking." I said and meant it. Shimmering all the way to the distant seashore it had looked wonderful. And that music I had heard broken in the wind...
"Better up close." Morrigan mentioned. "Rita's is down there too."
I had a sneaking suspicion that I would be dragged to the club soon, if only because Morrigan with her pretty smile and gentle speech would convince me eventually. Morrigan took a different turn than I was expecting and I nearly stumbled with the sudden change in direction. If they noticed, no one commented on it and soon enough we entered a large dining room where an assortment of food was spread out. It smelled amazing, but my stomach revolted slightly at the thought of eating.
Morrigan took a seat and patted the seat nearest her eyes sparkling. I took the offered chair noticing that Cassian and Azriel took their places across from us. They all immediately began to grab food, Cassian and Azriel piling food on their plates.
"So," Morrigan said after taking a small bite out of a pastry, "tell me about you." I immediately hated the silence that followed and wanted nothing more than to curl into myself to escape it.
"I'm not really all that interesting."
"That's for us to decide, not you." Morrigan seemed to take initiative and placed a pastry on my plate. I sighed and looked to her, ignoring the food.
"What do you want to know?"
"Everything." She smiled. "But, for now ...what did you do? What were you good at?"
I smiled at her interest and bit my lip in thought. It took me a moment to gather my thoughts together. "I guess to sum it all up, I'm good with information." Azriel and Cassian watched me, but I found it easier to speak directly to Morrigan. "I had a degree in Journalism, which is the finding and reporting of information. Hopefully without bias. I worked as a librarian, though. I couldn't find a place that was hiring near me and I just ...needed the money. It was a nice job."
"Journalism." Morrigan echoed eyes meeting mine. I nodded a confirmation. "What's your favorite color?"
"Silver."
"That's an interesting one." Cassian commented. I smiled at him and he smiled back, the rough plains of his face softened if only for a moment. I realized that I liked him. I felt comfortable around him. Morrigan too.
"Favorite hobby?" Morrigan wasn't giving me time to think in-between questions.
"Reading." I shot back. "Or Music. I've always loved music."
"How old are you?" Morrigan gave a slow smile that struck me as very beautiful. There was something about her that simply struck me as pure.
"I'm 24."
"Really?" Morrigan leaned forward looking me over. "You're older than Feyre."
"She doesn't look it." Cassian leaning forward. "Looks younger if I had to guess." I met those hazel eyes, seeing bits of green like leaves hidden amongst bark, and stared him down. He really did seem hewn from raw elements. That predatory edge entered his eyes again, as if anyone presenting him with a challenge was exciting. I could hear a slight increase in heartbeat, though it wasn't coming from him. I could see so much now. The light seemed to hold new colors. I could smell the three of them as if they all wore some sort of personalized perfume. An inhale had the soft and sweet taste of the food blanketing my tongue, though I hadn't taken a bite. I could hear distant footsteps, someone moving through this palace carved into a mountain. Hear the whisper of the wind...and beneath that I could feel that strange and warped part of myself that was not myself.
It was, all at once, overwhelming. Almost the moment it hit Cassian's expression changed and he was suddenly reaching across the table catching my shaking hand in his own.
"Breathe." He ordered softly. It took me a moment to realize I had stopped breathing to try and block the smells out.
"I can hear your heartbeat." I told him sounding distracted. Maybe I was. I could hear every breath they took. Hear the blood rushing through my veins. Everything felt sharp, like razors against my senses. He nodded.
"Like, really hear your heartbeat." I looked over that perfect face and missed home so horribly that I thought I was going to throw up. Everything familiar suddenly felt very far away. I shook my head trying to push down everything. "I'm fine," I muttered letting go of his hand and leaning away, "it just startled me. Next question?" I forced a bright smile at Morrigan. She watched me for a long moment.
"Are you sure you can handle going into a busy city?" She asked shrewdly.
"No." I told her honestly. I didn't want to look at the men anymore. Especially didn't want to see the strangely intense way that Azriel liked to stare at me. The conflict.
"We can stay here." Morrigan said a little furrow showing up between her eyebrows. I shook my head pushing away from the table slightly.
"You guys go. I can come some other time." Running away again. I always ran from things. Maybe not physically, but I had always had this horrible habit. Distancing myself. "I can look around here!" I forced myself to sound bright. Cheered up even. Morrigan gave a small smile back.
"If you're sure."
"I am, have a nice day." I didn't waste time moving away from the table. It wasn't until I had hid back in my room that I let the shame of running hit me. I could already see that I didn't belong here.
There was a small bit of anger amongst the shame. I wished they wouldn't try so hard. Wished I was a stronger person so that I wouldn't run away from them despite how different I seemed compared to them.
I didn't leave my room again that day. The next day I was up and gone, finding that solitary balcony before the sun rose. I explored. Finding side rooms that seemed seldom used. Stairs that led both up and down. I chose down. The day after that I found a library spiraling down into a black pit. One of the fae looking twisted and broken moved toward me. It frightened me. Enough so, that I ran.
It wasn't until my fourth day being in the mountain palace that I realized I had messed up. My body felt horribly sluggish. Moving felt like wading through honey. Terrible cramps wracked my stomach.
"Oh." I muttered a lethargic surprise washing over me. "I need to eat."
The clothing that had been set out for me were all white, showing the edges of those runes. I tried not to look at myself too much. It took me a few hours before I found a kitchen. I had actually had to use my sense of smell following the faint scent of baking bread once I caught wind of it. It felt animalistic, tracking something purely by its scent. Nausea, which had been a constant friend since I came to this place, reared its head a bit when I found the kitchen. The fae didn't look human in the slightest. Terror rose and then abated as a strange crystal looking construct paused to look to me.
"Can I help you?" Their voice was sharp, sounding like glass hitting pavement, and yet it was beautiful. Terribly beautiful. I found myself biting my lip.
"Umm, do you have any bread you could spare?"
"Of course," the creature quickly moved calling out its position in the kitchen as it moved to grab what looked like a fresher loaf. It was still warm as it was pressed into my hands. There was a kindness in their eyes that caught me off guard. "Is that all you wanted? We have plenty of dishes. I've got a stew that might be a bit more filling."
"If...if it's not too much trouble then yeah. That sounds nice."
"Right then," the creature plucked the bread from my hands and set it on a nearby tray. The creature moved expertly around the busy kitchen. They spoke as they worked. "You must be the newest addition here. The one the High Lord brought himself." The claws, shimmering in the light, were so very skilled. Easily getting me a huge bowl and pouring stew into it. Setting that next to the bread.
"That's me I guess." I muttered a bit cautious.
"Nice to meet ya." The more I looked at them, the more they looked almost lupine in the face. Like a mix of a crystal, bird, and wolf. "I'm Talison." They inclined their head.
"I'm Nova."
"Nova, have you been looking for the kitchen this whole time?" They asked adding another bowl to the tray. They quickly grabbed an apple and an orange, cutting them both with expert movements before putting them into the extra bowl.
"No."
"So you've been starving yourself intentionally?" That was so straightforward that I took a step back.
"I haven't been hungry."
"I haven't seen you at any dinner that those three have been holding. You having trouble with the Inner Circle?" Talison asked bluntly.
"No, they're wonderful people." I said a bit too defensively. I crossed my arms slightly. The smells were starting to get to me. Pushing past that edge of nausea until I realized I wasn't just hungry. I was ravenous. I wondered how much trouble I would get in if I tried to maul a crystal cook to get to the food they were putting on that tray.
"More of a solitary creature then?"
I bit my lip and glanced down trying my best not to frown at the floor. "Not exactly." I admitted. Actually it was nice to talk to someone, even if that someone was a crystal wolf bird who pried a bit too much.
There was a soft sigh and then a tray was being pressed gently into my hands. "Even if you're trying to avoid people ...please at least visit here once a day. I'll instruct my staff to feed you any time you show up here." Talison looked me over once, a frown making its way onto their face, and then they turned back to the kitchen.