Happy Holidays!
The warmth was a godsend. I felt a bit strange being shepherded in by the three, but the moment the warm air hit me a soft sigh breezed out of me that had Morrigan smiling again. They easily guided me until we ended up in what looked to be closer to a living room area, or maybe a visitation area that already had a fire going in the massive hearth.
Cassian dropped onto one of the finely upholstered couches settling heavily on the cushions. I found myself looking around at the room and froze when I noted a piano tucked into a corner. There were bookshelves scattered about the room, all filled. I tried not to look toward the piano again, but something about the black glossy surface caught my eye again and again.
Morrigan perched on a loveseat, tucking her feet up.
"We don't know how long they'll be." Cassian drawled. "Might as well get comfortable." He added. Azriel went to stand near the fire and it seemed the shadows of the room flocked to him, undaunted by the flickering light.
I went to find a chair, but found myself taking a small step toward the piano. Hands aching for something familiar.
"You're more than welcome to look at it." Morrigan said nonchalantly looking at her nails. Cassian sat up slightly as I reached out to brush a reverent hand over the ivory keys.
"You play?" Cassian probed.
"I had a little keyboard at home that I practiced on," I said slowly sitting on the bench in front of it. "Back in College they had practice rooms that you could use for free. I used to play there almost every day."
"You also studied music." Azriel commented from his place near the fire. It was a statement, as if he already knew the answer.
Morrigan hopped up moving to hover near me, looking at the hands I placed so lightly on the keys. I didn't dare to actually use it, even if some broken part of me was crying out for something familiar in this strange world.
"You can play something, if you want." Morrigan said quietly.
"Thank you for the offer, Morrigan, but-"
"Mor," she interrupted perching on the edge of the bench, "my friends call me Mor. And you should play."
Tentatively I pressed down on one of the keys and found myself smiling a small bit at the rich tone. This piano had to be expensive.
"No one really plays here." She added running her elegant fingers along the side. I slowly began my warm-up routine, wincing a bit as the movements tugged on my bruised fingers. Noting that positions that used to be a strain were easier with my longer fingers. I tried to only think of the positive there, focusing more on the technical execution. I stopped once I felt confident that I was ready to actually play, but Cassian was already clapping slightly. I turned to see that lazy smile of his.
"That's not too bad."
"That was warm-up." I told him turning back to the keys.
I closed my eyes for a second trying to ignore the unearthly beings around me. I decided on the first song I had truly taught myself, it had been a pain in my ass and it had taken a very long time for me to get it right, but it also always brought a sense of cozy wonder to me every time I played it.
Slowly, but with feeling I began listening to the chords shiver in the air. It was from one of my favorite movies, and strangely felt like it fit here. It was the Merry Go Round of Life from Howl's Moving Castle.
For a moment as I played the world fell away, my fingers didn't feel foreign. The same music flowed out of me as it always had. Mor I realized was watching my fingers as they moved eyes wide with some sort of wonder. The song finally came to a close and I sat myself back rubbing at my bruised hands. They absolutely did not like the extra abuse.
"Nova," Mor breathed her eyes shining, "that was beautiful." I found myself shying away from her compliment.
"Another artist." I twisted around with an unearthly speed and found the speaker to be Rhysand looking me over. Feyre had a soft smile on her face and had seemed to move closer so that she could look to my hands as well. I should have noticed them, but I did have the habit of blocking everything else out when I played. Maybe that habit had stayed even if the body was different.
Another person was in the room, one I hadn't seen since my first day in this new body.
"Nova," Elain's voice held a warmth that I didn't expect.
"Elain," I answered back remembering how kind this woman had been to me. How in my time of need she had sat and gently brushed my hair out. Had stood up to Rhysand and demanded I be brought back.
"My sister was worried about you. I hope you don't mind." Feyre said her eyes flickering to meet mine.
"It's so good to see you." The words tumbled out of me as I looked back to Elain. I glanced to Feyre and Rhysand, standing so close. "It's nice to see you too." I added.
"Not sleeping well?" There was an understanding in Feyre's eyes alongside something close to pity. Some vicious part of me didn't want it.
"You play wonderfully." Elain said walking up to me. It was a mercy that she had cut her sister off in favor of a softer easier topic.
"It was beautiful." Like darkness given a voice I didn't realize that Azriel had moved and was situated up against a bookshelf where he had been watching my face. Something about the brush of his voice sent a spiraling heat through me, I looked away from him nearly terrified of the feeling. It was irrational to feel anything over the sound of a voice.
"Thank you." I said to them both. Elain looked to Azriel and gave him a smile which he gently returned. Her eyes then looked me over, almost appraising for a moment before landing meaningfully back on Azriel. I looked away back toward my hands, not wanting to see whatever she was trying to convey.
"We thought it would be nice to have another family dinner." Rhysand spoke up.
"Food sounds good." Cassian called pushing himself up to offer a hand to me. Something about the irreverent tilt of his head and smirk had me smiling back and letting him touch me.
The entire group began a slow walk toward the dining area all of them chatting amongst themselves. I fell to the back of the group hoping to avoid the brunt of it, but instead found a gentle hand touching my arm.
"How have you been?" Elain asked looking me over.
A noncommittal reply sprung to my lips, but something in her eyes made me swallow the words. "I don't know." I sighed softly. She nodded and caught my hand in her own, at the unexpected contact I jerked slightly but she was too busy frowning at the bruises there.
"You're learning to fight?"
"Cassian thought it would be good for me." I answered back. "Help me get back into the right mindset."
Elain nodded. "I garden."
"You garden?" I echoed back. It was strange but I could see her surrounded by plant life. She seemed patient and kind, all of the things required to nurture life out of the ground.
"It helps." She answered. "It helped bring me back to myself. Among other things." Elain glanced to Azriel ahead of us.
"How?" I asked confused. Azriel as far as I had seen, was rather distant. Elain smiled at me, looking me over for a long moment.
"You'll see." There was some sort of secret smile on her face that had my stomach twisting slightly.
The dining room felt much livelier with so many people in it. I went to freeze, unsure of where I fit in the seating order. Unsure of where I fit. But was easily tugged by Elain to sit between her and Morrigan.
"What was that song called?" Mor asked the moment I looked settled. She leaned forward her hair falling around her face and sending a wave of citrus and cinnamon around me. "It's not a song I've heard before."
"I've not heard it in the mortal realms either." Elain mentioned.
"It's from a movie I really like." I answered looking between the two of them. "It's called Merry Go-Round of Life."
"A…..movie?" Cassian asked seating himself across from Morrigan. Azriel took the seat across from mine, those hazel eyes already watching me curiously.
"Yeah, Howl's Moving Castle."
"I think," Azriel spoke up, "what he meant to say is what is a movie?"
"Oh." I bit my lip glancing down at the empty plates nearest me. I thought on how to explain it. Morrigan breathed as if she were going to speak, but I seemed to beat her to the punch. "It's a moving picture." I said looking back up at the two.
"But you don't have magic." Azriel countered.
"Right." I nodded.
"Then how does it-" His question was cut short as a small and terrifying woman walked in seating herself. Amren. She glanced to me those silvery eyes searching my own for a moment.
"Hello." Though the greeting seemed to be directed at no one in particular she held my gaze, looking me over. I waved among the other polite hellos that rang around the table. With that Rhysand waved a hand and a small feast appeared, all steaming and smelling amazing. It was a simple dinner of greens and chicken. More mundane foods that I was surprised over. Everyone filled their plates, Cassian and Azriel getting much more on their plate than I thought possible. I nibbled on the food, once again wondering if the food here was somehow just better than normal food, as the others laughed and talked.
Elain went into great detail explaining to me exactly what plants she had put near one another. I asked questions, and watched as she glowed as she talked. She was so kind, I realized, and she had been through so much. She quietly explained her life in the mortal realms, explained how Feyre had saved their family, fought for so much. How the woman sitting only a few chairs away had somehow saved this land and in return was reborn. How she died for these people to be free. Feyre chimed in quietly every once in a while adding a detail or two, but otherwise watched Elain.
I did too. She was all lovely and soft things. They were all lovely, I noticed looking around the table. I steered away from sensitive topics. It was easy to realize what they were. The darkness in their gazes, the way they winced at certain names. A name was thrown around that seemed to upset Cassian quite a bit. Nesta, one of their family who had not come to this little dinner.
Eventually Feyre and Elain got caught in conversation leaving me, blissfully silent. Most of the questions thrown my way I had found easy workarounds, answering more in the abstract than anything personal. It felt too ...soon to talk about what I had just lost.
I quickly made myself busy eating a bit more and focusing on the food rather than the flow of conversation. Eventually I found myself watching the shadows that moved to and from Azriel. It was almost like they were sentient. I swore I could see them trailing his movements sometimes. Eventually I watched as one curled around his ear.
Azriel suddenly looked to me his eyes locking onto my own. He had such an intimidating presence that I found myself wanting to jerk away as if I had been caught doing something rude. However something in his gaze softened by a fraction and he held up a shadow wreathed hand looking to it himself.
"I'm what's considered a Shadowsinger." It made sense as his very voice felt cool and laced with shadows.
"Azriel is Rhysand's spymaster." Mor said from beside me between bites of bread.
"That makes sense." At my words Azriel's mouth quirked up slightly.
"Is that so?" I nodded. "What tipped you off?"
I thought about it for a long moment. Mor grabbed what looked to be some sort of alcohol and graciously poured me a glass. I smiled at her and took a sip. It was wonderfully sweet and bubbled something fierce. I nodded my thanks to her.
"You're good at asking questions." I said finally with a definitive nod. He simply watched me, letting the silence extend and I found myself smiling. "And you know the silence trick."
"Silence trick?" Mor asked taking a sip of her own drink.
"Yeah, it's something they taught us in journalism. Sometimes just by being silent it makes the person feel like they have to explain in depth rather than moving on from a subject. Silence is uncomfortable for most people." I told her softly.
"Journalism." Azriel echoed eyes searching my face. I took a deeper drink trying to keep myself busy.
"Information gathering." I said with a shrug.
"So you can get information out of people." Mor tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear. "You were trained by scholars for this?"
"I mean, yeah I guess so." I said swirling the sweet drink in my hand.
"Were you trained in infiltration?" Azriel asked propping himself up on one arm.
I couldn't help it. I laughed. Distantly I felt a shiver of some feeling that was a mixture of fascination and pleasure. "No, not really. It's not like a spy," I said smiling at him, "more like we were trained to be an unbiased source of news."
"Unbiased is a difficult trait to obtain." He said passively. Cassian shoved a cup in his hands and Azriel sipped on it without question. Cassian wiggled his eyebrows at me and took a drink himself. I mock saluted him and followed suit.
"You're right. Honestly, no one is completely free of bias. However, you can be aware of the biases you personally have. If you're aware then you can watch yourself when reporting on those subjects. Or decide to let other reporters cover it." There was a strange flash of respect, which was quickly covered when Cassian leaned forward grinning.
"So, you feeling any better after your first training session?"
I glanced to my hands and for a moment felt the pulse of soreness that ran through the body. "Yeah a little." I answered.
"That's good." Mor approved.
Feyre laughed slightly. "If you decide to stick with it you're going to hate it soon enough." The look she and Cassian shared was laced with amusement.
"You'll want to quit." Cassian added with a wicked smile.
"I'll take that as a challenge." I said narrowing my eyes at him. His answering smile sent shiver skittering down my spine.