Rita's really did feel like a dance club back home. It was still in its early hours of operation so while there were a few fae moving about, there weren't as many as there would be later on. Morrigan had stuck with me for the first bit, but was soon pulled away to the dancefloor. Cassian and Azriel were somewhere, I thought I saw a flash of wings near Mor and I settled back further into my seat.
Like any other dance club experience I had picked the darknest, furthest corner from the action, and quietly people watched. It would take a bit more liquid courage for me to even attempt to go out into swaying of of the crowd.
Fae were a bit more mesmerizing to watch than people. Strange magical lights pulsed and flared with the music, looking like miniature stars come to earth to dance among their unearthly bodies. Some fae seemed to flash in the light, their scales or what-have-you catching the light in such a majestic display she wondered if they had evolved that way to attract prey. It was a bit much for my first outing, but I didn't want to say as much to Morrigan.
Speaking of, she was radiant moving and twining amongst the dancers, as if she were born amongst them. Some distant part of me wished I could dance and move like that, but I had always been awkward when it came to such things. I always felt ridiculous and gangly, and unless my friends got me hammered, I wouldn't join in.
I glanced to the drink that Morrigan had pushed into my hands, already sweating and leaving a small ring on the dark wood of the table, and took a small sip. Whatever it was, it was strong. I fought back a wince at the edge of bitterness that pervaded my mouth. Every time I noticed Mor looking my way I tried to look happy and entertained, if only for her sake.
"Would you mind if I sat with you?" I glanced up sharply to see Azriel hovering a polite distance away.
"Of course you can." I said forcing a smile. He settled himself across from me looking out toward the dancers as well. Unlike some of the dancers on the floor, the pulsing lights seemed to stray away from him rather than reflect off of him. I took a bigger drink and winced at the taste.
"Here," he murmured, reaching out to catch my glass at the same time as he pushed his toward me. Red flags went off full force in my head before I hushed them. Yes, it was a guy handing me a drink in a club that I hadn't seen made, but Azriel was supposed to be one of the good guys. Like Cassian or Mor. I bit back my caution and took a sip, and was surprised at the overwhelming fruitiness of the drink. From the small smirk he gave me I must have had a bigger reaction to it than I realized. He took a sip of my drink and nodded to himself. "She got you one of her favorites." He explained, his voice underlying the pulsing music.
That was oddly touching.
"I can drink it," I muttered reaching out to grab the drink, but he simply slid it just out of reach.
"She won't notice." He said nodding to where she was dancing with some lupine looking fairy. "It's the sweetest thing they have here." Azriel mentioned off-handedly glancing at my drink.
"This doesn't strike me as something you'd drink." I hedged trying to hide my smile.
"It's not, but anyone could see you hated this." He took a pointed sip.
"You notice way too much."
"So I've been told." Azriel's mouth quirked up slightly at the edge and I found myself smiling back at him.
"Why aren't you dancing?" I glanced toward the dancefloor seeing Cassian move up toward Mor. They looked happy grinning at each other as they moved amongst the crowd. It was nice to see them both so happy.
"Why aren't you?"
"I can't dance." I stated in a matter of fact tone not bothering to look away from the dancing pair. Mor caught my eye for a moment, the strange disjointed pulsing music making the whole place feel surreal. Maybe that was why we were here, it felt as if reality was outside and we were in a small bubble of chaos. I took a larger drink and noticed what looked like an aquatic fae watching Morrigan with veiled interest.
"Is that so?" Azriel's voice was strangely even more alluring here. I downed the rest of my drink at the sound of it. I knew it would be a bad idea, but I looked toward him, and felt the breath leave my body as surely as if Cassian had struck me. His eyes flashed between gold and black in the pulsating lights, his wings loomed over his shoulders massive and strong, and there was the smallest hint of a smile playing at the edges of his expression. The effect was astounding.
"How long do you think it'll be before they gather the courage to dance with Mor?" I asked him looking toward the aquatic fae. Azriel glanced at them for a moment.
"Around ten minutes if not more."
"Oh come on, with the way they're looking at her? I'd guess within a few minutes."
He shook his head. I stared at him for a moment and he met my eyes levely.
"Okay, let's bet on it." If this was how I made friends with Cassian perhaps it would work for Azriel too. He did seem to perk up a little at the suggested game.
"And what are we betting?"
"Answers." I rattled off quickly. "You can ask the other person a question and they have to answer truthfully no matter what."
"A single answer as a prize."
"Okay, fine Mr. Spymaster," he seemed amused by that, "we can make multiple bets and they can be called in whenever."
"What do you want to bet on?" There was a sly curve to his mouth now.
I scanned Rita's looking for anything to bet on. Eventually I subtly nodded toward a glittering fair skinned fae. "They're going to try to dance with Cassian."
Azriel scanned them over for a moment then shook his head. "Too timid."
It didn't take long for me to start racking up losses. I didn't mind though, it was strangely fun to people watch with another person.
"They're going to kiss." I nodded toward a couple who were currently dancing slightly near each other.
"I'll bet against that." Azriel said looking the two over. However, I had seen the way they kept looking at each other. The flickering and searching glances. We waited quietly and after a moment one of them made the plunge. It quickly devolved. I grinned at him.
"That's one." I cheered.
"Yes, against my six." Azriel countered.
"I still won one."
He nodded toward a small group sitting in a booth much like ours. "They'll leave soon."
I hummed thoughtfully looking at the group. A few were still looking out to the dance floor. "Nah, they're going to dance."
After a few minutes half of them left, while the other half moved to the dance floor. Azriel and I were both quiet for a moment.
"We could take that as either two wins, or two losses." I offered amused.
"You need more wins." Azriel quipped.
"You just want more answers!"
He shrugged and met my eyes, amusement making his eyes sparkle. "It is my job description." Something about the moment sent a curl of heat from my chest that settled itself lower. It was the most at ease I had seen him. He really was the most handsome man I had ever seen.
"Eight." Azriel said suddenly pulling me from my thoughts. He took a long sip of my old drink then glanced to my glass. "Allow me," he inclined his head and pushed himself up catching my glass in nimble fingers before moving away through the slowly thickening mass of people.
I didn't even have the time to thank him before he was gone. I stared after him for a long moment.
"Move." Cassian's rough voice was suddenly at my side and I yelped slightly looking up to him. He simply watched and waited until I shifted in the half circle of a booth, putting myself in the sheltered middle. "You're really not going to dance?" He asked settling himself in my old spot.
"I can't dance." I sighed at him.
"You're fae. Revelry is in our blood." Cassian smirked.
"It's not in mine." I countered.
Azriel showed back up as swiftly as he had left, handing me a new drink and raising an eyebrow at Cassian before settling on my other side.
"Thank you." I said to Azriel ignoring Cassian. Azriel simply inclined his head.
"I can prove that it is." Cassian shot back a challenge in his voice.
"No, you can't." Arguing with him was as easy as breathing. The atmosphere of the place even seemed to lighten a few degrees. "I have never, nor shall I be, one who wants to partake in…..revelry." I half-mocked his word. His smile only seemed to ratchet up a few notches.
"Oh come on, Morrigan wants you to dance with her." Cassian glanced toward Mor, who was now dancing with the aquatic fae. There was something primal and sensual in the way that they moved. Beautiful and captivating.
"Damn," Azriel's eyes danced at my quiet dismay. "Fine, eight. But I'm calling it there. And she seems fine."
"Okay, what if I danced with you?" Cassian leaned a bit toward me. I took a drink and noted distantly that whatever was in this drink was strong. I probably shouldn't have basically chugged the last one.
"What makes that appealing again?"
"You'd be dancing with me." Cassian pitched his voice lower. Azriel glanced between the two of us quietly. Those hyper intelligent eyes appraising the two of us.
"Are you as good at dancing as you are at flirting?" I asked softly, leaning a bit closer to him. Anger flickered in the back of my mind, but I pushed the emotion down.
"Of course." He nearly purred.
"Then I won't have any feet left by the time you're done." I said in a matter of fact tone. Azriel coughed to cover up his laughter, and Cassian simply held a hand to his chest.
"You females can be so cruel." There was a moment's pause and I took the opportunity to take another drink. The alcohol in the drink had finally started to affect me, relax me, so that the writhing bodies didn't look so scary. "What will it take to get you to dance?"
"A miracle." I shot back.
"And if I can produce a miracle, you'll dance?" There was a gleam in Cassian's eyes that I didn't quite like.
"Don't take the bet." Azriel said watching Cassian closely.
"Let the lady make her own choice." Cassian snapped playfully at Azriel. "You're the one who set the terms." Cassian said his voice all seduction.
"Fine." I wasn't sure if it was the alcohol impairing my judgement or if I just really liked to feud with Cassian, but there was something satisfying about the way he smiled when she met him head on. "Produce a miracle and I'll dance with whoever you want me to."
The smile he gave me let me know he had already won. He simply looked to Azriel. "I'm calling in that favor." Azriel glared at him. "Dance with the lady, will you?"
"That debt was paid." Azriel countered smoothly.
"No, one of the debts were paid. Or did you forget the last time I took you for all you were worth in cards?" Cassian's answer was smooth.
"And this is what you want your favor to be?" Azriel countered seriously.
Cassian calmly met my eyes. "Worth it." Damn, checkmate.
Azriel simply stood, looking too formal, and offered a hand to me. "Would you care to dance?"
"There ya go!" Cassian laughed. "One miracle, just for you dear." The last bit he murmured into my ear, his breath causing shivers to run down my body.
"That does not count!" I objected.
"Would you like an impartial party?" There was that smile again, like he had already won.
I could guess where this was going. I simply shifted out of my seat taking a bigger drink and pushed to my feet. The world spun for a second, and I realized just how strong the drinks were. Azriel's mouth quirked up the smallest bit as I took his offered hand and flipped Cassian off with my other. He roared with laughter.
Azriel drew us to the edge of the dancefloor and panic tried and failed to properly set in. Its claws simply skidded off of the haze the alcohol had created for me.
"I really don't know how to dance." I told him honestly. He tilted his head the smallest fraction and twirled me. My body followed his lead without conscious thought. It was almost too natural to let him spin me gently. I smiled up at him and something shuddered down the moonstone bridge, and complex mix of emotions that I wasn't sure how to decode. A slight tug of my hand had me moving toward him. There was an excited yip and Morrigan was there next to Azriel pulling me to her. Azriel easily relinquished his hold. I tried to shift away, but her hands were on my hips. She smiled encouragingly and tugged. I looked to Azriel with wide eyes, but let Morrigan move me in time to the beat. After a moment she let go and began to dance shifting between me and Azriel while grinning. I tried to step back, but she caught my hands tugging me back toward her. Someone brushed against my back and I glanced back to see Cassian grinning at me, dancing as well.
I wanted to run. Ten thousand steps weren't that many right? It was too much. And then Morrigan smiled at me again, that genuine joy radiating off of her like a sun. I couldn't fight against that. So, I let her, Azriel, and Cassian coerce the body into moving. Let them guide me with their hands and bodies until I finally didn't quite care if it looked ridiculous. Cassian rolled into me and I moved with him and the wicked delighted smile that broke across his face had me laughing.
We danced, the four of us, and time seemed suspended. Eventually Cassian yelled something about supplying me with more alcohol, and Morrigan had moved to dancing with the aquatic looking fae nearby again. Hands brushed my hips, and I turned to the owner of those hands, for once feeling carefree and happy enough to dance with whoever wanted me.
It was Azriel's eyes that I met. He gave me a small lop-sided smile and just like that the two of us were dancing together. Every place his body brushed mine it worked some sort of magic, burning and branding me. When he put his hands onto my hips, much like Cassian and Mor had, I realized I didn't mind.
Dancing with him felt different. When he moved, I moved, like our bodies were on a whole different wavelength than anyone else's. A fae-light settled to pulse nearby us and I watched as the silver of the runes flickered and sparked light from my skin. Where I was all flickering light he was a black hole, where the light touched him it was simply pulled into darkness. Distantly I wondered what we looked like together. I wondered if that meant he would eventually pull me in too.
The more we touched the more it drove some deep seeded ache in me. I wanted more of him, I wanted his hands on me. As if I had commanded him his hands were there, running along me, guiding me, twirling me out only to pull me back in. It was a give and take, and somehow we were in perfect sync with one another.
I laughed for the pure joy of it, and Azriel softly echoed that laugh. Morrigan pulled me to her again, and though I was disappointed for a moment, I shifted my focus to her. While dancing with Azriel had felt vaguely erotic in some unexplainable way, Morrigan pulled out moves that were sexy. I simply let her lead me, so that eventually we were nearly twining around each other. It was familiar, like all the other times I let myself dance with my friends, it was effortless. Fun.
Eventually though I was tired and found myself moving back to Azriel.
"Do you want to sit back down?" I asked him knowing Morrigan was far from done. He nodded and helped me get back to the booth, just in time for Cassian to come bearing gifts in the form of drinks.
"See?" He said sitting a drink in front of me. I took a drink smiling at him. "Revelry is in our blood." I glanced to Azriel, but he was staring wistfully at Morrigan. The giddy, fun mood I had been riding up until now suddenly soured. I bit my lip and turned away partially confused at why it should bother me so badly. It was obvious there was something there between the two of them, at least on his end, and I had nothing to do with that. It wasn't even my business. We were all just supposed to be friends…...right?
Even admitting to their bond in my head felt wrong. It took me a long moment to realize that I was jealous ...but that made no sense. I hadn't been here that long, and out of all the things I should be looking for some random romantic relationship wasn't one of them. Yes he was handsome, but so was everyone else here. If anything I should be trying to get with Cassian, he had been the one I got along with the best.
I drank the entirety of my drink as fast as I could.
"Woah," Cassian muttered looking me over. "You okay?"
"I want to go." I told him honestly. He looked at my expression and then nodded, suddenly more serious than I had seen him be before.
"Come on, I'll take you back." He offered me a hand and I took it. There was no reason I should be close to tears in this moment, but I was. Cassian seemed to sense it too. Azriel was watching us intently, his face unreadable, as Cassian made up some plausible excuse and ushered me out of the tightly packed space. The moment we were outside I gasped as if I had been underwater.
"What's wrong?" He asked automatically scooping me up into his arms. A few massive flaps later and we were beginning to gain altitude.
"Nothing."
"I thought we were better friends than that."
"I….I don't know." The world spun, my body felt heavy in his arms, and the night sky wheeled overhead.
"Talk it out." His voice rumbled against me and I found myself sheltering against his chest.
"It's stupid." I muttered, but he didn't say anything. Simply flew us. "The way he looks at her sometimes." I finally said my voice thick with tears. "It hurts, but it shouldn't!" I said quickly tears spilling quickly into frustration. "I know next to nothing about him, and it's obvious they have something going on which I wouldn't mess with. I shouldn't even be thinking of anyone in this way. I should be trying to get home, or wake up."
"So you feel something for Azriel, then?" He asked blandly.
"No!" The word erupted out of me. "I mean, I'm trying to be his friend I like him…..but….. No. I can't. I don't even know him."
"Do you really have to?"
"Of course I do! No one just instantly clicks with someone like that. There's no such thing as love at first sight." I slammed my hands over my mouth in horror. But Cassian didn't seem to notice the slip up or didn't quite care. He was quiet for a few minutes.
"What if there was?" Cassian was easily holding me as we flew higher. I glanced down and watched Veleris sparkle below us.
"It wouldn't happen to me."
"I wouldn't be too sure." Cassian muttered sounding almost angry. I searched his face, but when he looked to me all I saw was patience and maybe a bit of pity. Affection too.
We had nearly made it back to the house of wind when I next spoke.
"I want to go home."
"I know." Cassian murmured pulling me a bit tighter to his chest. He landed a few minutes later, with hardly a jolt.
"I don't think I can go back home." I didn't care to stop the tears that began to flow down my face. He didn't put me down, instead he just began to walk inside.
"You'll have to make a new one." He answered my unspoken question.
"How?" The question was cracked in all the wrong places. I felt shattered and exposed but somehow when Cassian looked at me I didn't feel like I was in danger. If anything I felt a bit protected.
"One step at a time." He carried me through the winding hallways until we reached my room, but he simply let himself in and went to tuck me into bed. "You're not alone though." Cassian reassured me. When he moved to leave my voice rang out of its own accord.
"Please don't leave."
Cassian looked at me for a long moment then moved away. I heard the door shut and I curled a bit more into myself. Who would listen to the drunken pleas of a stranger anyway?
"Move over a bit." He huffed from the other side of the bed. I jerked towards him in shock, but moved further to the side. Cassian pulled his massive frame into bed next to me and stared at the ceiling. "Don't worry, I'm here."
It could have been the alcohol rushing through my system, but if he had taken the time to carry me here and was willing to sleep next to me then maybe he was right. I wasn't alone, even if this world was confusing.
I closed my eyes and tried to settle down to sleep. In my mind something glided hesitantly down the moonstone bridge and brushed against my mental gates. It lingered there and I found myself opening the gates just the smallest bit. She felt it's shock and it slipped past. I knew that it could feel my confusion and pain. The darkness that had been slowly but surely eating at the back of my mind like a rot. Worry echoed back to me. As my mind grew hazier with sleep the presence caressed along me, comforting me, before retreating once more.
I fell asleep listening to Cassian's soft and even breaths next to me.