I was exhausted. Whatever I had done to get here had taken nearly everything out of me. Trees towered overhead, dappled light falling softly from above me. I felt unsteady on my feet, as if my legs would give beneath me at any moment sending me back to the leaf strewn ground. Wind softly curled through the boughs causing the unfallen leaves to whisper and shift. The scene should have been peaceful, but instead like a storm on the horizon, rage and fear thundered distantly. It was hard to seperate my own feelings from the maelstrom.

I didn't want to think about what I had just done. Instead I focused on what was around me, trying to live in the moment. Velaris' beautiful visage had been replaced with a forest. The briny scent of the ocean replaced with soft earthy tones and the sweet edge of decaying things. Soft rustling came from everywhere around me, and after a moment I picked out a red-coated squirrel foraging among the debris near the roots of one of the trees.

Lost then found again. Found and then lost. Those damn voices cutting through the surreal scene like a hot knife through butter. I grit my teeth at the sound of them, the reminder they posed of what all I had lost. What I might have just given up.

I started walking not knowing which way was the right one. The gentle crunch of my footsteps creating a lone staccato beat which kept me company. Time felt suspended here. It could have been minutes, it could have been hours, but slowly the wind picked up as the sun slid from the sky. Instead of a hushed whisper, the trees hissed around me as if they were spitting malicious rumors about me in a language long forgotten.

In the distance, across that moonstone bridge, the anger and fear flared. The trees blurred around me, and I felt the body stumble even as other senses overtook my own.

"-checked everywhere, sir." The fae ducked their head as if they could feel the rapid rising anger coming from him. He grit his teeth, and it was Rhysand who sent his man away.

"Don't worry," Rhysand tried to calm him, clapping a hand to his shoulder, "we'll find her."

Azriel wasn't one to pace, but the need to do something was nearly overwhelming. Rhysand watched him quietly with a certain understanding in his eyes.

"How did she learn to winnow?" Even Morrigan's voice had a hard time holding his attention.

"Does that really matter?" Cassian growled. Cassian had been on edge ever since Nova's disappearance. Some distant part of Azriel wanted to fight him, and he wasn't sure why. "I knew something was wrong."

Azriel turned away from his longtime friend, flexing his hands. It was obvious that Nova had been having a hard time adjusting to this new life. He should have noticed just how unwell she had been getting. He of all people…

"We kept her in the dark for so long." Cassian continued unaware or unconcerned with the rising rage in the shadowsinger.

"Her world was very different." Rhysand muttered running a hand over his face. "It made sense to ease her into everything."

"She wasn't even comfortable in her own body. How do you tell someone who's so obviously struggling that their soul is now bound to a stranger?" Morrigan groaned. "We've got to figure out where she winnowed."

"If something attacks her, I doubt she has the skillset to save herself." Cassian looked genuinely distressed at the thought. "She was improving, but she isn't proficient yet."

If something attacked her.

Azriel tried to imagine what it would be like, for her to simply be gone. It shouldn't be different than before, he tried to rationalize. If something killed her-

The thought drove through his soul, to the very essence of his being. For the other side of that bridge to go dark…

He couldn't breathe. Couldn't think past it. A snarl ripped out of his throat before he could clamp down on those emotions. Mother help those who would lay a hand on her. The soft yet constant stream of information from his shadows gave him nothing. Every fiber of his being felt taunt. If he didn't do something to find her, to touch her again, he would snap.

Nothing.

Not a hint of her scent. Not a spark of light that flashed from her skin so readily. The only thing that gave him solace was the bond, still strong. He brushed a mental hand against that bond, needing to feel her in some way.

The moonstone bridge pulsed with the touch, separating me slightly from the scene I was witnessing. Pulling me away from the alien thoughts and back into the body, which had dropped to one knee in the leaves.

I could feel the far-away shock. A distant pull, but like water through open fingers I slid back into myself and settled once more in the riot of color that was the forest. I shivered, feeling hollowed out and alone.

Darkness was fast approaching, and some base instinct urged me back on my feet. I didn't need to be here when true darkness fell. I knew that down to my bones. I quickly began searching for some sort of shelter as I went. There was no time to wonder why I kept shifting realities and seeing through Azriel's eyes.

Shadows began to crowd among the roots of the trees stretching long and warped fingers across my path. Fear began to drag icy claws down my spine. Buried instincts flared to life in earnest driving me forward on quickened feet until I came across a small rocky outcropping that looked to have a small cave nestled inside. I darted inside, keeping my footsteps light as I carefully edged deeper into the earth hoping beyond hope that the cave itself was empty and that I wasn't moving step by step closer to my death.

Damp air brushed against my face bringing with it the heavy scent of rich soil and undisturbed places. What little light I had been navigating by in the forest had been snuffed deeper into the cave, and even my heightened senses were having a hard time piercing the gloom.

The cave itself wasn't that deep. It only took me a minute of slow moving before I found the back wall cool against my fingertips. I could hear the skitter of small feet somewhere to my left, but it didn't seem to trigger that same fear response as before. After a moment I slowly lowered myself to the ground, noting that the crisp cool air had dipped in temperature with the departure of the sun. Cold, I realized dimly, it was getting cold.

Part of me was happy that I had dressed in a sweater as I settled down. Now that the panic of the moment had passed I wasn't quite sure what I should do, or what I would do out here. I ducked my head running my hands through the silky locks.

What did I do?

The air felt thin. I dragged a breath into my body hunching further into myself. I had thought this all a very long dream. How could it not be? I was pulled, naked, into a warzone in a body that was not mine.

Surrounded by beautiful fairytale creatures. Rhysand and Feyre, rulers of their own kingdom, who wore their power like a cloak. Morrigan who seemed to fill any room she entered with light. Cassian strong and brash, welding commands like a finely honed blade. Amren who was by all rights terrifying in some unquantifiable way. Then there was Azriel.

Soft spoken. Deadly. Elegant. They said he was a spymaster, but he felt closer to an assassin. Always so closed off. And somehow this man, who obviously loved someone else, was supposed to be my…

I physically jerked away from the idea, pressing sharply into the cold and uneven rockface behind me. It wasn't true. I curled my legs up, wrapping my arms around my knees. The motion tugged at my side and drew a sharp gasp from my throat. My entire body had been a motley of aches and pains as I meandered my way here. I had nearly forgotten that I had potentially broken a rib from my episode. There was nothing to do about it now.

The last of the light leached from the cave leaving me fully blind to my surroundings. In the distance something screamed and was nearly immediately rendered silent. This suffocating dark was familiar to me in a way.

It could almost be another time and another place. One that I had worked very hard to escape. The soft sighing of the wind through leaf burdened boughs could almost be mistaken for the large oak tree that had resided outside my childhood window. Just close enough that the branches were within a short jumping distance if you were brave.

Some nights I had wished I were that brave. Taking that final leap to get out any way I could, but I hadn't. It was a comfort, though, to know that I could, that the option was there. A daydream in bad circumstances.

I let my chin fall, resting on the tops of my knees and turning my gaze in the direction I guessed was where I had come from. Distantly, and so dimly I wondered if I was causing myself to hallucinate, the darkness was just a touch lighter. It was a familiar pose. I often adopted it when I felt that danger was on the horizon.

At home it could be as explosive and violent as a summer storm, crashing into my day without warning and leaving devastation in its wake. Bruises to conceal. Limps to power through. It was better to hide it from others than to have someone point it out to my parents. It was worse then. I learned early on to hide pain. But there were also times where it was subtle. A slight twitch giving away pent up frustration that would erupt the moment I made a wrong move. Those days were the most common and the ones I hated more than anything else. It was exhausting to constantly be on guard. Having to learn how to disappear in plain sight, drawing into myself so that their attention slipped over me.

It was a balancing act on a knife's edge dealing with those days. Having to be a ghost in the house, quietly scurring around with my head ducked rushing to clean. Making myself useful at all times. A ghost was about right, now that I thought about it. Hardly there, but maintaining just enough of a presence to not be considered absent. If they noticed me missing, they would search me out.

I took a deep breath, the sound hissing back to me from the walls of the cave. Outside the cave something howled, a long and ethereal note that seemed to sing of kindred loneliness. Tempting in it's perfect agony. There was a soul who would understand, if only I would seek them out.

I shook my head clear, pushing myself back against the wall to further cement myself in place. Cassian and Mor had mentioned other fae, ones who were unlike them. Ones who hunted the unwary and weak.

Broken as I was, I would be an easy meal for them.

Time passed slowly stretching and warping past its normal bounds. I would find myself slouching, despite how uncomfortable the cave was, my eyes fluttering shut of their own accord. But something would always pull me back from the brink. A snapping branch, a scream, nearby footsteps. Each sound rocketing me back to consciousness and reminding me of my surroundings.

Water, I realized some time later as the body ached. I should have drank water. Going to Rita's had already dehydrated me and a full day of wandering later I was sure that couldn't be good for me. No food either, though the thought of eating anything made my stomach twist uneasily.

I shouldn't have come here, I let myself think.

A huff of air, so light that it could have been a stray gust of wind sounded at the mouth of the cave. The cobwebs of sleep were burned away as I became a livewire, all of my senses struggling to pull some meaning out of the suffocating black.

There was a gentle thump followed by the whisper of claws on stone. Fear rose like a black tide washing over me with the force of a tidal wave. I held my breath somehow very aware that a single shift of my muscles, an exhalation, would set the invisible foe upon me.

Another breath that was not my own, drawn out. Whatever it was, it was still further away near the entrance. The same long slow breath sounded and my blood ran cold as I realized that the thing was trying to find a scent.

Blood. I was still bloody from the fall. Sweaty from the long day. I prayed for the air to stay still. For the wind to not reach me here and stir my scent. The thump I had heard before were footfalls. I could hear it now, the weighted body and claws as the creature moved further into the cave. The long drawn out breaths were closer now. The whisper of them echoing off the walls. My chest began to tighten and burn from the lack of oxygen.

I waited, teeth and lips clamped together. My body alight, lungs screaming, I swore I could see darkness moving in darkness. Something low to the ground with a massive body, gliding with each step. Only the muffled thumps giving it away.

A sharp inhalation came from the creature.

Run. The voices screamed as one. I jerked myself up onto my feet and threw myself to the side just as something wooshed past my left side. There was a horrible snarl and the screech of something sharp and hard across stone.

Effectively blind I slammed into a wall. The impact caused the darkness to fill with stars as my side exploded in pain, the rib I had broken being jostled by the clumsy attempt at dodging. I scrambled away, not caring what sound I made. I hardly had my feet under me as I dashed towards the entrance hands outstretched and looking for walls. A frustrated growl spurred me on. The darkness lightened slightly and then I was flashing past silvered trunks. The air was heavy with an oncoming storm. All pretenses of stealth dropped, the creature crashed behind me, close enough to send leaves hitting my back. I grabbed a hold of a low-hanging branch, thankful that all these trees were just visible in the low light, and swung myself into a sharp turn, the leaves sliding underneath my feet.

Had I been in my old body I would have fallen. Instead razor sharp reflexes helped right me and kept me going, my stride eating up ground faster than I thought possible.

Wind ripped through the forest, no longer its gentle and playful self. A snarl sounded, too close. God it was too close. The world was suddenly bright, a moment caught in a white flash. Leaves caught in their twisting and violent dance, other creatures fleeing from the commotion, something dark as night and furred just on the edge of my vision leaping claws outstretched.

It was a nightmare incarnate. All claws and flashing teeth. Too many limbs some of them elongated and barbed. Built for power and stealth. My mind struggled to understand it, but it was too fast. All of this was going too fast.

The creature clipped my shoulder, not landing directly on me, but enough that its weight sent me slamming into the leaves.

Keep your feet under you. I could nearly hear Cassian's calm voice laced with amusement. In a real fight, the moment you stay down is the moment you're dead. Keep moving.

Despite the pain that roared through my body I rolled until I could push myself back up, teetering as I threw myself forward. A crash followed by a furious shriek told me everything I needed to know. How right Cassian had been.

Despite the protests of my body I pushed myself harder, but strangely the faster I tried to run the more a growing exhaustion began to sweep over me. My shoulder burned, the pain in it beginning to eclipse my sore muscles, throbbing head, and injured rib. The darkness throbbed along with my heartbeat.

My legs began to slow, the world swirling around me. Weakness like I had never felt crashed into me and sent me collapsing to the forest floor.

We must fight! With their words that strange and ancient power rose in my chest lashing and wild. This weakness was frightening. I could hardly twist to be on my back, so I could watch as the creature stalked toward me slowly as if it knew I wouldn't be running again. Too many legs. It had too many legs. And out of its back were things, the barbed things, almost like fur covered tentacles. They thrashed about some of them slamming into the nearby trees and taking out rough chunks of wood. It took every ounce of my willpower for me to raise my hand, shaking like the leaves caught in the overhead storm, to try and level my hand at the creature.

It growled low and menacing, wanting to draw every ounce of fear out of me before it took its meal. I didn't want to see this. I aimed every bit of that lashing energy at the creature and let it loose, not knowing why or how I was doing it. The area in front of me exploded into chaos.

The trees splintering, the ground raked by invisible claws. A shrill sound, a mix between a roar and a whine sparked out of the destruction. My arm fell dropping as if my line of control to it had been cut. My head dropped and then there was nothing but the dappled night sky above me. The stars shimmering coldly in the distance. It wasn't as pretty as the House of Wind, strangely. Mentally I reached for that bridge. Terrified and so very tired.

Nova. Azriel's voice drifted through my mind sounding very much frightened. Rage and fear pulsed from the other side of that bridge.

I'm so tired. She told him.

Don't give up. Let me find you. Where are you? She could hear the creature now. Moving toward her it's growls like a motorcycle revving. Angry. At least she had done something.

I don't know. It's too late. Something felt like it was shattering bringing with it a torrent of guilt and fear. I let the emotions wash through me taking one last look at the glimmering darkness. It's beautiful. I told him earnestly.

Teeth sank into my leg. Without thought I pushed myself away from the bridge, shut myself off to it before the brunt of the pain could wash through me and to the other side. No one had to deal with this but me, it was my stupid actions that brought me here.

A harsh jerk had the body sliding along the leaves a bit. Dragging me. The world spun with the movement, pulsed and danced before my eyes. The world suddenly lit itself again. The silvered tree trunks reflecting the harsh orange light.

Orange?

A blast of heat washed over my body and with it the sharp crackle of flames. The creature let go, screaming. There was a grunt sounding male in voice, before another flash of flame seared the night. A wet sounding screech was all that answered. After a few moments a pair of feet wandered over seeming to take it's time. After a moment a man crouched next to me, his face suddenly becoming clear in the gloom. Someone I recognized to my horror.

Beron looked me over a strange smile stealing over his features.

"Seems the Night Court has lost something." The smile he gave was nothing short of vulpine.