Chapter Nineteen: A Lesson on High Lords
Wrong this was absolutely wrong. The sickly feeling cut through the alcohol that ran rampant through my system and woke me up just enough to allow me to rip away from the man. For his part he seemed to have let me go quickly enough. The man stared at me, breathing heavily, his hands flexing at his sides.
"I'm sorry." He said quickly dipping into a half-bow. "I…. should have controlled myself better."
"Damn right you should have!" I hissed taking another step back. What had he called me? Childishly I wanted to wipe at my mouth.
"Please forgive me." The hallways felt warped, but the man in front of me did seem genuinely sorry. "I was simply overwhelmed."
"Overwhelmed by what?" I asked nervousness trickling into my system, blunting my sharpened anger. Letting the world shift and sway once more.
"Mate," He breathed the word as if it were sacred, "please do not shy away from me so." He sounded agonized.
"You're mistaken. I'm not your mate. I'm not anyone's mate."
He shook his head, taking a slight step forward. "I don't know who you are, but I do know that you're my Mate. Please, what is your name?"
Everything in his body language was riveted onto me. Like I was the only thing he could see in the hallway. It made me overly aware of the body. Of my obviously intoxicated state.
"I'm Nova." I told him quietly. He smiled and the action lit up his face, highlighting the freckles over the bridge of his nose.
"Hello Nova." He breathed. "You may call me Zellos."
"Hi."
"Please, allow me to introduce you to my father."
"I don't know you." I said moving back and away from him. My limbs felt clumsy and heavy from too much drinking. Zellos frowned slightly half-reaching out a hand before thinking better of it and pulling away.
"Beautiful female. Nova, I must tell my father of this. To find one's mate…." I took another step away from him.
"I'm in no state to be doing any of this." I told him truthfully.
He seemed to debate for a moment, eyes still locked on me, then he nodded to himself. "Very well, if you are not comfortable I would never want to force you into anything. May I visit you tomorrow?"
"Um...I don't know."
Zellos took a slight step forward, staring at me. "Please." Was all he said.
"O-okay. We can meet tomorrow."
"May I escort you back to your room?" There was a sharper look in his eyes now as he appraised me.
"I…."
"Her room is number 304 in the guest quarters, Master Vanserra." The bark skinned woman said quietly from behind me. He nodded to her once a slight smile crossing his features. The bark-skinned woman simply glanced to me, curtsying slightly. "I will leave you in his capable hands."
Before I could protest she glided down the hallway and out of sight.
"Do not look so afraid." Zellos offered his arm. "You are safe here, I will make sure of it."
There were no other real options for me, and so I took his arm, feeling the reassuring warmth leech into my arms. He gave a small smile and began to walk, easily taking my weight when I swayed or when my legs refused to work right.
"You must have been celebrating something." He commended idly.
"No," I answered simply. No I wasn't. All I could think of was the echoing sadness. The heartbreak that had ripped Azriel's mind asunder. I could almost still feel it, like a black cloud hanging just out of sight.
"I'm sorry, then." He was quiet for a moment. "What brings you to the palace?"
"I didn't really mean to be here." I told him truthfully. "If I'm being honest I don't really know where 'here' even is."
"We're in the heart of Autumn Court lands." Zellos explained easily. "This palace is built among a great grove of trees, but the largest portion of it is actually underground."
"I don't know much about the Autumn Court." It was honestly sort of easy to talk to Zellos.
"You're from another court then?" He asked, surprised.
"I…. don't really know where I belong."
There was a pregnant pause. Reality tried to settle over me, the horror of what had happened to me. What was currently happening.
"Well, how about I show you around then?" I glanced at the man, surprised at how easygoing he sounded. "There are plenty of pretty places here in the Autumn Court, though none would hold a candle to you. Hmmm," he hummed to himself barreling over my reaction to his compliment, "perhaps we can visit the markets. It is quite beautiful there, plus you can see a bit of our people."
"Our people?" I asked when he finally fell silent.
"Oh, my people. Pardon me." He amended quickly. "Here we are. 304, as promised." Zellos swept himself into a deep bow, the movement slightly cocky and joking. The smile he gave me as he looked up at me had me smiling back, just a little. "Tomorrow can't come fast enough." He said catching a hold of my fingers and brushing a kiss there.
The room was the same as before, the bed already made, sunlight already fading. I blinked at the window, realizing that I could see sprawling for miles a latticework of golds and reds. Autumn was beautiful, vivid like jewels in the late evening light. I must have slept a long time if it was already getting dark. Somehow, exhaustion still rode me. At least the alcohol had helped numb some of the pain. Without a second thought I crawled into bed and closed my eyes, not caring what happened next.
"I'm confused." Feyre sat a bit more upright, glancing to Rhysand as she did so.
"She's an Illadrin," Cassian said from where he was sprawled on a nearby chair. Azriel hardly bothered looking at them, and instead glanced out the window to the small front yard. The grass had started to die, the colder temperatures preceding winter. Cassian had only just returned from checking on Devlin's camps. "Though I guess you wouldn't know why that's important."
"Illadrin were hunted to extinction, hundreds of years ago." Rhysand told her quietly.
"They didn't just hunt them down, they hunted down the bloodlines." Cassian interjected.
Azriel watched a leaf as it fell from a branch, twisting over itself until it landed without fanfare on the sidewalk. The light had all but fallen from the sky, wreathing the world in darkness.
"That doesn't tell me what they are."
"Tools." Azriel said quietly. "To have one in your employ was to guarantee accurate information. It is a unique ability, much like Elain, you, or Rhysand. Where you can break into minds, and Elain can see the future, an Illadrin can force someone to speak only the truth."
"Why were they hunted?"
"They were rare. Coveted. Only a few bloodlines could produce them, and even then it was a gamble." Cassian toyed with a siphon. "Imagine, all you would have to do is get someone of rank in the same room as an Illadrin and you could get a whole battle strategy."
"And…. Nova is one of these Illadrin."
"The only Illadrin we know of." Azriel answered, turning to look to his High Lady. "With the bloodlines erased the power was erased alongside them."
"If she uses that power on the wrong person-" Cassian began.
"She'll be captured and used." Feyre breathed in horror.
"Not only that, she's the book of breathings." Rhysand took Feyre's hand. "She would be considered good breeding stock. Think of a High Lord with that blood in his veins."
"We have to get her back. She's too valuable an asset for our court." Azriel began, that knot of fear, rage, and regret surfacing again. Nearly choking him. To think they would touch her. To use her like that. Breeding stock, his vision nearly went red at the thought.
"We'll get her back because she's our friend and your mate." Cassian said a bit harshly.
"I saw through her eyes." Azriel admitted quietly. The room around him went very still.
"What did you see?" Rhysand asked leaning forward a small bit.
"I was with her when she was attacked, but she shut me out somehow. She was pushing me away to save me the pain of her death." Azriel had tried not to think of it. He had felt her wounds throbbing, the violent chase. Her realization that she was going to die. In those moments she had thought of him. Only of him, to spare him pain. "I haven't been able to recreate it since then. The bond feels muted as well, as if she's shielding herself from me."
It was hard to be myself and Azriel at the same time. It was too easy to let his existence take over for a bit. To ride along as a wisp of a spectator.
"Does she want to be found?" Cassian's quiet question sparked something dark and twisted in Azriel's gut.
I don't know. I hated to see Cassian upset. I did care about him. Azriel stiffened, his wings flaring out and he twisted looking for the source of her voice.
"Where are you?"
Suddenly I knew that he had heard me. I tried to pull away, but I was stuck feeling as his panic rose. A small flicker of hope settled into his chest without his permission.
Why do you care? I asked him softly. His breathing picked up, his entire being reaching out to catch onto even a sliver of her.
"Azriel?" Feyre and the others had sat up watching him intently.
"I can hear her, she's here somehow." He said quickly.
I don't mean to be. It just...happens sometimes. I didn't want to invade his personal space.
"Where are you?" He growled. Now that she was speaking he could almost smell a phantom hint of her scent. The emotions he had been working hard to keep under control surged and he found himself pacing.
"What do you mean she's here?" Cassian jumped to his feet.
Something familiar and foreign brushed against Azriel's mind. Rhysand. He let him in without a second thought. I tried to separate myself from him, but to no avail. The more he moved the more it felt like I was anchored there. I could feel his body as if it were my own.
Let me go! I tried to thrash, but there was no body for me to control. Just a passenger.
Nova. Rhysand was suddenly there, gently holding me with blackened claws of mental power. It's okay, you're okay. He soothed the hold light enough that I didn't feel quite as trapped as before.
"Please," Azriel's voice nearly broke, he was trying so hard to keep himself calm. To not scare her.
Where are you? Rhysand asked finishing Azriel's plea.
I... I'm not sure I should tell you.
Why?
You all...kept me in the dark for so long. You didn't tell me anything. Not about the world, not about myself, and certainly not about him. The 'him' in question flared his wings scattering his shadows to the far corners of the room.
"Are you hurt?" The question ghosted out of Azriel from some deep down place.
Yeah, but I'm not dying. I answered without thought. There was something heartwrenching in the wake of his concern. A healer tended to me.
Relief profound and all consuming rushed through him.
Nova, please tell us where you are. You could be in danger. Rhysand was trying to be nice, I realized.
Do you want me because of me…. or because I'm an asset. Azriel winced.
I offered you my protection long before you could be an asset to this court. That protection still stands. We simply want you safe. If information is what you want, I'll personally give it to you.
"Don't go." Azriel choked out, and I realized that I was losing my hold on him. Darkness slowly trying to overtake me.
I'm not… I panicked not sure what to do. I don't know how to control it.
Where are you? Rhysand's voice was sharp.
I'm in-
A soft knock shook me from my sleep. I gasped as I came to. Strange enough my head didn't throb as I sat up, although the rest of me did.
"Are you awake?" Zellos' voice drifted through the door sounding wrong compared to the midnight tones I had been listening to. For a moment I swore I could smell him around me, like an exquisite perfume, then the world settled back around me bringing with it the faint smell of burning leaves and the much stronger scent of the clean bedsheets currently pooling around my waist. The urgency of the scene leached away leaving her dumbfounded in its wake. "I thought I heard you." Zellos hedged.
"I'm awake." I called wrapping my arms around my middle.
"I'm sorry to bother you." Zello's tone softened into a more relaxed conversational tone. "I was told you were recovering from injuries and that you were not to be disturbed. I simply thought you might be awake by now."
His wording caught my attention. By now? I glanced at the window and realized that the light wasn't right for morning. It had to be closer to afternoon. I sighed pushing my head into my hands for a moment.
"I hadn't realized I slept so late."
"What harm is there in sleeping?" Came the easy reply. "However," Zello's voice was higher pitched than Cassian's or Azriels, lighter and more prone to fluctuation. "I would like to request your time. If you'll have me."
"Um, let me just…. uh…" The dress I had worn the day before was horribly wrinkled. I winced at it, and tried to smooth it down. It took me a moment to notice the new outfit, the only outfit, hanging in the wardrobe.
"Take your time." He soothed.
I quickly stripped off the red dress, and tugged the ribbon out of my hair. For the first time it seemed, unkept, fluffed out a bit and sticking out in strange ways. I would have laughed at the image if the face beneath the hair hadn't still looked so pristine and airbrushed. The newest outfit was simply a soft and flowing white shirt with soft brown pants that cinched at the ankles. It took a little bit of looking, but I found a hairbrush tucked into a small drawer at the vanity and quickly ripped it through my locks, not caring that it pulled.
I tugged the door open and glanced out to see Zellos, his auburn hair bright in the light, leaned against the wall. He tilted his head toward me, a smile lighting up his face and highlighting his freckles. There was something in the movement that tugged at some far-away memory. However much I tried to grab at the memory, it stayed just out of reach.
"How lovely you are." He murmured reaching out and catching my hand in a smooth motion. A feather light kiss graced the back of my hand and then it was over. Worry shifted over his features. He was so easy to read it was ridiculous. Even Mor wasn't this transparent. "How are your wounds? Do you need to see a healer?"
"Sore but manageable." I waved away his concern. "Listen, we need to talk. Whatever you think happened last night-"
"Ah," he arched a brow at me, pulling himself up and away from the wall quickly. "When I realized that we were Mates?"
"Not possible." I said trying to sound short and clipped.
"I understand that you may not feel the bond quite yet. But I promise you it's there." Zellos took a step toward me, eyes beseeching. "I know it's hard to accept when you hardly know me."
"That's right. And you don't know me at all."
"You're scared." He stated in a matter of fact tone. "You feel like you don't belong. Uncomfortable, though it's not solely because of your wounds. Like you don't fit inside your own body yet."
Each word struck home, sending little jolts down my spine. He took another step, closing the distance between us easily.
"You're not quite sure where you fit. There's…. anger there." He said with a slight tilt of his head. As if he were listening to something on the wind. "I'm so sorry." He muttered reaching out and catching my hands. I wasn't sure what to do, even as that strange warmth crept its way into my hands. "I don't know how, but I want to help. What can I do?"
"Let go."
Zellos immediately let go, and even stepped back a half step. "Sorry. You're just….so distressed."
"I…. I don't know what to do."
"How about this? I show you to my Father." He seemed to sense the protest bubbling up in my chest. "I wouldn't press the matter if it weren't important. But, you can ask me as many questions as you want. About anything, I won't judge you. And I'll answer to the best of my abilities."
"Anything?"
"Anything."
He watched me carefully, eyes searching my face. Another man claiming that I was 'the one', not that Azriel ever actually claimed that outright at first. He hadn't acted this way at all. He had actually avoided touching me save for that night at Rita's. Memory surged and I swore I could feel the ghost of his hands brushing down my sides. Branding me even now. I remembered the surge of black he felt at realizing that he had no chance with Mor.
How would I ever fit with them?
"Okay," the word slipped out of my mouth and Zellos visibly brightened up, "but I still don't believe you're my-"
"It can take some time for the female to feel a bond, I know this." Zellos said quickly, cutting me off. "But, before anything I would like to get to know you. And I want you to know me."
Zellos offered me his arm and I took it, once again that strange warmth leached into me as he began a slow walk through the maze of corridors.
"So, any burning questions?"
"What's a Mate?" A question she had asked so many times.
"Ah," Zellos tilted his head in thought, "they are the other piece to your soul, so to speak. But, it's more than that. Every single piece of you belongs to them and vice versa." There was a pause, and his arm tensed a little. "Now, there are theories as to why it happens. Some think that it's a way for us Fae to properly reproduce. That it's more to do with the chances of creating powerful offspring, but…." Zellos looked slightly away. "It doesn't feel like that."
Biology. Something as complex and simple as that made sense to me. But…. was I really supposed to feel attraction toward a mate? I glanced at the man on my arm, seeing those bright green eyes meet mine but felt…. nothing. Yes, he was handsome. I could admit that. But he was handsome in the same way that a tree was beautiful. Like all the people I had ever met in my life I simply didn't…. feel any urges toward him.
Not all people, my mind whispered. All but one.
I shook the thought away and Zellos gave me a measured smile. I tried to return it.
"The Courts…. what are they like?"
"You can't talk about the courts without talking about their High Lords." Zellos said his eyes crinkling slightly at the edges. "They are the beating hearts of these lands. The most powerful among us."
"I've met them." I said remembering that tent. The smell of blood and sweat still fresh. How power seemed to radiate from them. Rhysand had been the only one who didn't seem to be appraising me. Though, Beron had since apologised for it.
"That's quite a feat." Zellos said, eyes widening a bit. "Exactly who are you?"
"I'm asking the questions, remember?"
There was a moment of silence then he nodded, retaining his cheery demeanor. "Right, so let's start with the Solar Courts. Dawn Court, who's High Lord is named Thesan. Out of all of the High Lords he was gifted with healing light."
Zellos was a good storyteller. His voice took on a softer cadence, lower and almost hypnotic as he spoke.
"Dawn Court is known for outputting marvelous things. Clockwork creations unlike anything you've seen before. It's mostly countryside, though Thesan's palace is something to behold. It's nestled in clouds and made from sunstone. Quite a brilliant sight, if not a bit bright." He said with a small chuckle.
We turned a corner, but I hardly noticed as Zellos flashed me a grin.
"Next would be Day Court. With its High Lord Helion Spell-Cleaver."
"Spell-Cleaver?" I echoed surprised at the title. Zellos nodded.
"He can cut through magic like we can cut through thread. Quite a gift to be reckoned with. Helion's a brave man, and his people reflect that. Day Court archives magical knowledge for all of Prythian, though quite a few of those Amarantha looted. It'll take a while for all of that to be brought back to its rightful place."
"Amarantha…. she was the one who held them hostage, yeah?"
"I thought you seemed sheltered but…. that's a bit much." Zellos said looking me over. "Yes, she held us hostage and ruled with an iron fist for 50 years."
"I thought you weren't going to judge." I said glaring at him slightly. Zellos slowed and looked me over for a moment before extracting himself.
"I'm sorry." He said bowing slightly to me. "I did not mean to be harsh." He stood back straight offering his arm again. "I was merely surprised."
"It's fine." I said threading my arm through his once more. "I get it." It wasn't his fault that I didn't know anything about this world. I had just a day or two ago realized that it wasn't a fake dream world.
"That brings us to Night Court." Zellos' tone darkened a touch. "Rhysand who is the High Lord. The most powerful high lord Prythian has seen. It's known as the Court of Nightmares. Amarantha modeled her court after what she saw there. Known to be the cruelest of all the courts, they'll do anything to gain power and prestige. They even stole Feyre, the savior of Prythian, away from Tamlin. They were to be wed, and Rhysand simply plucked her away. Utilizing a deal he made with the poor female when she was under the mountain, attempting to free us by taking on Amarantha's tests. It was recently revealed that they have a city, named Velaris, that they kept sheltered from the rest of the world. A bright spot in a world of rot." Zellos said his tone laced with malice.
"The Night Court didn't seem that way to me." I said something close to indignation flaring up within me. They might not have told me anything but…. they weren't cruel. They hadn't tortured me. And Feyre seemed happy.
"You've been?" He asked, surprised. I nodded not knowing what else to do. "They're a dangerous bunch. Feyre resides there now as High Lady. It's a mockery, showing her off after they brainwashed the poor female."
"She and Rhysand are Mates." I interjected, tugging away slightly. He held on fast.
"Forgive me, perhaps what's said about them is not true. I'm only relaying what I've heard."
"Right." I muttered a bit doubtful.
"Now the four seasonal courts. Starting with Spring. Spring's high lord is Tamlin. He was gifted with shapeshifting and wind. The seasonal court lands, such as this one," Zellos motioned around us with his free hand, "are locked within their respective seasons. So spring court is in eternal spring."
As we walked the hallways we took started to seem…. familiar.
"Summer Court's High Lord is Tarquin. He was gifted with water. He's rather new to being High Lord, but I've heard he's making great strides." Zellos said approval coloring his voice.
"What do you mean new?"
"The mantle and powers of High Lords are passed down through blood. Usually to the strongest heir."
"Oh."
"Winter's High Lord is Kallias. He was gifted with ice. His land is a cold one, and his demeanor often mimics that."
Suddenly we were walking through the throne room. Leaves swirling about as we made our way up to a slightly surprised looking Beron.
"That leaves Autumn Court, who's High Lord is Beron gifted with fire." Zellos said tugging me up to the foot of the dias that Beron currently resided on. "He's also my father." Zellos added looking at me a bit sheepishly.
I blinked at him feeling my mouth pop open slightly.
"Zellos, why have you brought our guest before me? I did not summon her."
Too fast. Once again things suddenly felt too fast.
"Father," Zellos let go and dipped into a low and respectful bow. I kept standing, confused and feeling a bit of horror seeping through. "The female I bring before you…. she's my mate." His voice cracked at the end and Zellos almost couldn't help himself when he looked my way.
"Wait." I tried to interrupt.
"This female?" Beron asked his eyebrows arching slightly.
"Yes, Father."
"No, wait." I began.
"Do you know who this female is?" Beron went on without waiting for an answer. "She's the Book of Breathings, Made into a fae. She's the alleged Mate of Rhysand's Illyrian Spymaster."
"Y-you're what?" Zellos jerked upright faster than I could keep track of, and without any real thought I jerked away from him. A lifetime of attempting to dodge blows coming back full force.
"Well…. isn't this interesting." Beron said looking between the two of us.