Trigger Warning: This chapter will contain scenes that get close to sexual assault. If needed I can place a quick summary for those who cannot or do not want to read this bit at the bottom. I understand that these things can really trigger someone. In fact it's usually one of my triggers, but seeing as I'm the one controlling the situation I feel I'll be okay.
"Zellos," once again I tried to catch the red-haired male's attention, but he simply sent me a mischievous smile.
"Almost there, pet." He urged me on, tugging on my hand firmly.
"We really need to talk." I insisted even as I followed him through the twisty hallways of the palace. He had led me down this time, the first time he had truly started to show me the sprawling complex that had been laying just beneath my feet this entire time.
"And we can," Zellos laughed as he ghosted down another flight of stairs, "but later, I've been working on this all week."
That much was true. It had been nearly a week since I had spent any real time with Zellos. A week since I had decided that it was time for me to go back to the Night Court and fix what I had broken. Now that I had made my decision, though, time had slowed to a crawl.
I had spent the last week of downtime in the library. It was the first time since Zellos had shown it to me that I had a chance to really explore it. My searches had been both fruitful and severely lacking. I had found a few books that touched on the subjects of Mates, but most of them were attempting to theorize why Mates existed, not what it was like to have one. The best information I had found had been from an archived journal of a female named Namira.
The woman didn't write much about what it felt like to save for one small bit. 'The moment I saw him I was his as he was mine. Even now my skin calls for him. My soul weeps for he is not close. My life will never be the same again.' I had read those lines so many times I was sure that I could recreate it stroke for stroke. I hated how it partly rang true.
Where I had really found good information was about this world. There were entire books dedicated to dissecting the Courts. I had set a few of those away in my room and had been laboriously reading through trying to find out more information about this world. I had at least learned the name of this world.
Prythian.
Legends had it that the entire world was birthed from some sort of cauldron. An object of extreme power. Something about it didn't sit well with me. The book even had a fairly decent map, labeling the courts and their respective lands.
It shouldn't have, but seeing the map had further cemented the fact that I wasn't in my own world. Not in the slightest.
Autumn Court was nestled alongside Summer, flanked by both Winter and Spring. I was somehow leagues away from where I had begun, in the Night Court, which took up a huge swath of land all the way to the north. Something called the Court of Nightmares had been marked with a thick black dot, but Velaris was nowhere to be found.
"Almost there." Zellos said, shooting me a grin over his shoulder.
"Really Zellos I-"
"Just enjoy it." He cut me off quickly and loudly. "Whatever you have to say can wait just for a little while can't it?" He paused in the middle of a hall searching my face.
I sighed, giving in and forced a smile to my face. "Fine, lead on." I said nodding back to the direction we were going. The bright flash of joy on his face almost made my concession worth it.
"Here we are. These are our quarters." Zellos said stopping before a huge ornate door. "This entire floor is reserved just for my family. It's the safest place in the palace."
The doors themselves were a deep bloody red, gilded with vines and leaves crawling along the outskirts of the frame. Zellos let go of my hand and moved to the door, pressing his hand neatly against the dark crimson surface. His body went taunt for a second, and there was a flash of something hot in the room before the doors soundlessly swept open on their own.
"Magic?" I asked, a little breathless.
"It's a ward keyed to our magic." Zellos said letting flame dance above his waggling fingertips for a moment before they snuffed themselves out. "No one comes in or out without Father's permission." Zellos grabbed my hand again and tugged me past the ornate doors. The sound of them shutting behind us sent a jolt of unease through my stomach. The hall we entered was beautiful, the floor was green veined marble, polished to a mirror-like shine. Braziers spouting golden flames were set into small alcoves along the walls, the golden light scattering across the hall in a spectacular effect. I twisted to look up and gasped.
Despite knowing we were underground a late afternoon sky greeted me, stretching up for what felt like forever. In the distance I swore I saw a bird wheeling high above us riding on air currents. Zellos watched me with a delighted air, his eyes crinkled slightly from how large his smile had grown. Doors were the only other feature here. Each one had different designs and at the far end of the hall a grand door, not unlike the one we had just stepped through, sat overlooking the space.
"This way," Zellos tugged me down the hallway until he stopped at a pitch black door gilded with gold in the shape of fire. "This one's mine." He brushed his fingers against the door and pressed a hand to my back guiding me forward as the door swung open.
A little living room greeted me as I stepped inside. It wasn't too fancy, just a few brown couches placed haphazardly around the little space with a low lying table in the center. The design left just enough room to move along the outskirts of the room without it feeling too claustrophobic. Two different doors graced the opposite ends of the back wall, one black and one red. A third was directly to the left, painted a deeper blue color.
"It's cozy." I said moving further into the room without prompting. The low lying table had a few books scattered over the surface with a deck of cards balanced precariously on one edge.
"I'm not really big on elaborate stuff like some of my siblings." Zellos shrugged walking over to push open the black door. The room beyond was large but sparse. A massive black and red bed took up most of the far wall, while bookshelves lined the inside. Some were crammed full while others had books laying on their sides. I couldn't tell a rhyme or reason to the order of things. Zellos watched me inspect his room for a few minutes before I noticed he tilted his head to usher me back out.
"My surprise is this one." He said nodding toward the red door. "Go and see."
Again that strange sense of unease pinged through my stomach. Zellos looked the same as ever. His green eyes were dancing mischievously as they often did, his posture was open and mostly relaxed. His voice was tempered and even, which meant that he was trying not to give anything away about his surprise. Nothing was out of place.
Then why did I feel a creeping sense of dread?
I crossed over to the red door and glanced back to Zellos my hand hovering uncertainly over the handle. He nodded slightly to reassure me. The door swung open on silent hinges and revealed a room much like the one I had just been inspecting. A large red bed sat wreathed in golden gauze that had been tied back just enough to allow entry at the foot of the bed. Candles were flickering all across the room, they rested on the mainly empty bookshelves that decorated the left wall of the room, on the small table that denoted a reading nook, and they even decorated the top of the large wardrobe to the left.
"Tada!" Zellos said from startlingly close behind me. I squeaked and twisted to look at him. He merely laughed at my reaction. "It's yours! I cleaned out my old library so that you could live here!"
"That's….really nice of you…" I began but Zellos was already rambling.
"Now you'll be better protected. The wards here will, of course, be tuned to let you in and out. Plus you can decorate however you want unlike in the guest quarters. I already have some ideas that I think you'll like." He said brushing past me to stand in the middle of the room.
"Zellos-"
"I noticed you liked the ceiling in the Hall, so I figured we could enchant your ceiling to be the same!" Zellos tilted his head up to look at the plain white ceiling above us. "I picked out red and gold because I thought they look beautiful on you, but we can make this any color you want." He said, patting the bed excitedly. "In fact if you want we can enchant your room to look and feel like our meadow. I know how much you enjoy going there.
"Zellos-"
"And don't worry about a bathroom either." He said walking over and dropping his hands onto my shoulders. "It's that blue door you noticed earlier. This way we can move you out of the guest rooms, and you won't have to feel alone anymore." Twinkling green eyes locked onto my own. "I know you seem sad a lot, so I thought this could help."
"It's a beautiful thought." I managed to stammer out.
"So, what theme would you like? We could also get you a different bed. We'll make you happy again, Nova. I promise." Zellos' eyes crinkled at the edges as they always did when he was excited and happy. My resolve waivered. Zellos genuinely seemed to be happy because I was around. He showed it every moment. Yes, his family threw up a lot of red flags for me, but then again they were fae. Fae were always supposed to be cunning and manipulative in the old stories, twisting desires and dreams into nightmares at the drop of a hat. There were also wonderful stories about the fae blessing mortals and helping them. What happens now that I am one of them? How could I hurt Zellos when he seemed to be the only person in this world who wanted me just for me?
My inner musings were interrupted as Zellos' hold on my shoulders shifted a fraction, going from friendly to something a bit more in an instant. His eyes searched my face earnestly, flickering over my eyes and landing on my mouth.
He leaned in, wafting the smell of nutmeg and wood fire around me, and I let him. Despite the alarm bells sparking off and telling me that this was wrong. That we didn't fit. I wanted so badly to be wanted by someone wholly and unabashedly in any way.
When his lips met mine the feeling increased, just as before when I didn't know him from a stranger on the street. I tried kissing him back and he made a small pleased noise before trying to deepen the kiss. His hands ghosted down my sides, hooking around my waist to pull me against him.
I hated it.
I hated myself for hating it. Why couldn't I just be happy with someone who actually wanted me around? Who cares if there's no sexual energy between us. I could live with this. I could deal with it just to have the good times in-between.
Zellos' kissing turned almost aggressive, his body hard against mine. I could see it now, me giving him anything he wanted just to have some sort of affection. Moving in with him. Spending our days exploring, until there wasn't much more to explore. Being trapped in my room most of the time, not having anyone to come looking for me other than Zellos. Reading every book in the library. Fae were supposed to live a very long time weren't they? If I promised him forever, I had to really give it to him.
Zellos broke away only to kiss his way down my neck, leaving a wet trail behind that made my skin crawl. He bit down and I gasped at the small pulse of pain. He hummed at the sound, mistaking my pain for something else. I shifted in his hold, uncomfortable but he seemed to not notice.
He tugged me backwards, walking us toward the bed.
My mind went numb with dread. I jerked back pushing him away with that strength I still couldn't fully control.
"No, please don't." I wrapped my arms around myself as he stumbled away looking at me in shock. "I'm sorry, I can't do it. I can't be this for you. I want to, Zell. I really do. But, I don't feel for you the way you feel for me. Autumn court is beautiful, and I really value your friendship...but I need to go back to the Night Court. I need to face what I've done."
"You can't be serious." The warmth that I had come to expect from his voice was gone. He watched me for a long moment, taking in the way I shied away from him and held myself. "You don't think they'd actually want you back? That he'd want you back after all of this?"
"I need to figure things out and I can't do that here." I said a bit more firmly.
"I failed then." Zellos laughed and the sound was cold. "No, I'm not going to let some spoiled brat ruin my good chances. You want to go back to him, yeah?" Before I could react his hand shot out and clamped around my wrist. A quick jerk and he threw me onto the bed, my arm and wrist burning from the force behind the motion. I tried to roll away, but Zellos was much faster than me. Why hadn't I ever noticed that he was honed in the same fashion as Cassian and Azriel. He wasn't as strong, but they had never used that strength against me.
Zellos quickly locked his legs atop mine, forcing me to lie flat on my back. He trapped both my wrists above my head with one strong hand. Everything ground to a halt in my mind, a panicked white noise beginning to drown out sane thought. I tasted metal as the panic attack settled around me like an old friend.
"He won't want you after this." He told me his voice was nothing but quiet menace. Zellos reached up and caught the collar of my shirt. There was a quick jolt of pain as he ripped it down the front. I tried to push him off of me, but he didn't budge. "You'll bear me an heir. A powerful male with the bloodline of both myself and the Book of Breathings. We'll cement my place as High Lord after my father, and you will be the next Lady of Autumn. You'll want for nothing." Another tear and I knew that my chest was exposed to him. The air felt shockingly cold against my skin, and his hand overly warm as he ran a hand down the valley between my breasts. "You might even enjoy it. These markings are quite lovely." He muttered tracing over one on my side with the tip of a finger. He drew his hand down, catching at the waist of my pants.
"Get off of me!" I screamed trying to push him off once more. "Zellos stop!" My hands were absolutely pinned.
"Relax." There was something sharp in his smile, something I had seen more than once. I had thought he was mischievous, but I could see it for what it really was now. Zellos was cruel. He tugged at my pants, hard enough to hurt, not hard enough to rip them. His smile widened when he saw me wince. "You worried so much about your place in this world….well….here it is. I'm going to hand it to you on a silver platter, my dear, and you don't have to lift a finger."
Another tug and this time I heard the fabric strain and rip a bit, the waistline digging harshly into my hips. Bruising me.
"I hope you won't have to use this one." Cassian's voice floated to me on a memory, his voice unusually serious. "But if you find yourself pinned like this. I want you to be able to get them off of you."
He had drilled me on it. I took a deep breath and planted my feet firmly. I bridged my hips up quickly, throwing his body weight forward in the same instant that I jerked my hands down. Zellos eyes went wide at the maneuver, his own weight working against him to throw him off balance. Just as it had with Cassian all those times. If I ever got to see him again I would thank him for it. I twisted my head to the side quickly as Zellos' chest crashed into my face. Then quickly wrapped myself around his middle pulling my body up as close to his as possible. The smell of nutmeg and smoke was suffocating. Zellos was supposed to be my friend. That was the only thought that rang through my head. Zellos tried to push himself back upright but with my bodyweight tucked to his chest and lower half, he couldn't quite manage it. I used my new fae speed to quickly crawl up him to grab one of his arms, offsetting him just enough for me to roll on top. I quickly threw a punch, the dull deep pain of it shocking me slightly. Cassian had only ever used pads with me, he had warned that hitting bone would hurt, so I suppose I should have expected it. I threw another and this time the crack was audible as was his pained grunt. I pushed myself off of him, dancing back to my feet, and I darted through the door.
"Bitch!" Zellos' voice exploded back behind me like thunder, which only drove on my mad spur out the door and back into the grand hallway. I could hear him racing behind me, and before I knew it I reached out to push aside the grand doors. Sudden blinding pain hit me like a freight train. I fell backwards as the door before me refused to even rattle.
Zellos' laugh was low and chilling. I scrambled up off the ground nearly the moment I hit the marble. Zellos advanced on me slowly. I could tell he was savoring the look of panic on my face. Blood had splattered down from his nose, which was looking broken the closer he got to me.
"Why?" I asked. Zellos paused his pursuit for a moment pondering my question.
"That's quite an open question. Why me? Why is this happening? Why are you acting this way?" Zellos pitched his voice a bit higher trying to mimic my voice. "This is what happens when you deny your mate. Just being near you would drive your mate crazy if you don't seal the deal." Zellos more bared his teeth than smiled.
"Azriel wasn't-"
"That brute." Zellos growled fury rising in his eyes. "You have such trust for your kidnappers don't you? Father warned me this might be the case. That you might never be able to see past the lies they implanted inside of you."
"They were nothing but nice to me!"
"See? You defend them even now." Zellos stalked a bit closer. "You ever wonder why you're so fond of them? Why you just have to go back to them?"
"They're my friends." The door felt unforgiving at my back. I shifted my weight readying myself to try and fight my way out of here. I immediately regretted not continuing my training on my own. They had kept me peaceful and docile, giving me treats and showing me pretty places. Shame rushed through my chest.
"Did you know that back Under the Mountain your friend Rhysand was Amarantha's whore. He was a good little pet and serviced her well. Not just in the bedroom mind you, see Rhysand has a very special gift. He's Daemati, that means he can crawl his way inside your head and control you."
I remembered those black claws of Rhysand's. The way they had gently scraped at the outskirts of my mind until I had let him in. He could have easily changed anything he wanted. It must have been written on my face.
"Ah, so you know then." Zellos nodded to himself taking another step closer. "He used that ability for her. Shattering people. Erasing memories. Adding memories. It doesn't matter how they treat you if you remember it as something else. He implants a feeling of loyalty towards them and they won't have to leash you anymore. You'll willingly go back. He implants the feeling of an Illyrian being your mate, and you'll work for him. Do all he asks. And the Illyrian gets a playmate. Something to fuck whenever he wants. Who knows, maybe they shared you. All it takes is a little tweak in your mind and you forget. Or think that things didn't happen."
"You're lying."
"You wish I were." He shot back savagely. "Why do you think I hate them so much? To use my mate like that. To make you think that a beast like that is your true other half, it's sickening."
He's a talented liar. I shook my head even as tears began to form in my eyes. The night before I had left, Cassian had been in my bed. Had nothing really happened? All of my memories of Cassian were of a goofy and brash man. A dangerous man, but a good one. A man who had taken one look at me when I was in crisis and took me away from the situation.
"Come back to the bedroom with me." Zellos said the cold and angry facade melting back to the concerned Zellos I knew. Or at least, I thought I had known. "I'm sorry about earlier…..I really am. It's hard to think when those urges take hold. I'll be gentle this time." Even as he spoke his eyes drifted across my torso before landing back on my face. I fought the urge to cover myself, as that would put me at a disadvantage if it came to a fight. "We can have a good life together, and when the time comes you can become the most important female in autumn. Our people will love you." He paused then looked me in the eyes. "I love you, Nova." Rage flashed through me so quick and so hot I had to restrain myself from trying to attack him.
"Y-you don't get to just hurt me and try to do….That and expect me to come running back into your arms." I spat out.
"That was wrong of me." He conceded.
Zellos held up his hands in surrender and took a few more steps toward me. As he did something ignited in my chest, an erratic power that I had felt once before. Illadrin he had called me.
Truth bringer. The voice hummed in agreement. I didn't know how to use my power. The voices laughed softly threading through my thoughts. His blood.
I frowned, looking Zellos over. I forced myself to relax, to let him think he was starting to lull me back to compliance. Make him speak the truth. The voices purred in encouragement. Like we did with the Shadowsinger. For once the voices and I were in perfect agreement.
"I don't want you to hurt me again." I said letting my voice break just a bit. It was easy, all I had to do was think of what he wanted to do to me. What he was expecting of me and my voice did it's job. I let the tears of rage and betrayal that I had been holding back overflow from my eyes. Zellos frowned and reached out lightly touching my arm. With every ounce of my being I hated it, but instead I relaxed a bit into him.
"I promise to be gentle." He said softly. He still expected me to just lie down and take it. If I couldn't pull this off, that would most likely happen. He was stronger than me, and I was too rusty to be good in an actual fight. Fear sparked across my skin.
I had to know.
"I hurt you." I mumbled reaching up and pressing a finger to his face. To the blood on his skin. Immediately I felt that spikey power spear toward him. I drove it home and watched as his eyes went wide, then bled to a fathomless black. His heartbeat slid underneath my own until they matched. Until our breathing matched.
"Have you been lying to me?" I demanded. Some force tried to tear at me. I used my fury and fear as fuel and slammed the attempt back down. A nasty satisfaction bloomed inside my chest as the fight went out of the force and it stilled.
"Yes." Zellos said his voice even and slow.
"Did Rhysand alter my memories?" I asked harshly.
"I don't know."
I bit my lip and pressed down with my fury again when I felt a faint fluttering. "Okay, Zellos, why did you show up so near my room that first time we met?"
"Father asked me to."
"Why?"
"Adding your power to the family line will make us stronger."
"You've been using me then." I stated, not knowing quite how to feel. Angry and betrayed, yes, but there was also a deeper joy in the fact that by my touch alone he was rendered helpless. As helpless as he had been attempting to make me.
"Yes."
"Is Rhysand really a Daemati?"
"Yes."
"Are you really my mate?" Another mad struggle, but I just managed to quash it. A headache began, low and throbbing.
"No."
My stomach twisted. A ruse, it was all a ruse wasn't it? Everything from the moment I got here was designed to use me for the body. To take its power. To make it bear them children. No one really cared about me, only the power that had been grafted into my skin.
"You can't have more than one mate, can you?"
"As far as we know, no."
"You're a monster." I breathed my body beginning to shake. "You never cared about me at all. This was all just a trap meant for me." Mind numbing horror skittered through my mind.
"Illadrin." The voice was not Zellos' and I jerked my gaze past him to see Eris just exiting his room. His eyes were wide taking me in, but they quickly grew hard. Uncaring.
In a sudden surge the struggling force broke through my control, and Zellos gasped, jerking away from me, the black in his eyes draining away. I didn't see the blow coming, too busy watching Eris who had been casually strolling up to me.
The world spun and sparkled at the edges as my legs gave out. Zellos wasn't satisfied and threw a solid kick into my side. Then another. With the third kick I heard something crack at the same time I heard my own scream. Still a stranger's voice. Still a stranger's body.
Did a single shred of this form even belong to me anymore? Even my soul had been tainted by this world. Bound to another.
"You're an Illadrin!" Zellos' voice was low and promised pain. "You kept that from me you clever little thing." Another kick and this time it had enough force to send the body sliding into the door. I couldn't move it, and whatever power had awakened within me had all but evaporated. "Don't worry, I haven't failed just yet. Come on back to the bed-"
There was a sharp crack and Zellos fell to the floor unconscious. Eris lightly stepped around his brother and crouched near me, his eyes cold as ever. "Father won't be pleased. You're already bruising." He reached toward my face, if he cared that I flinched away he didn't show it, and gently touched the cheek that Zellos had decked. Even with that light touch it throbbed something fierce. "You shouldn't have done that." He told me seriously. "Wait here."
Eris walked away, but by the time I finally managed to get myself into a sitting position he had returned. He didn't even glance at me as he crouched next to his brother, propping him up into his lap and coaxing something into his mouth.
He must have cracked a rib of mine. I tried my best to push to my feet, gritting my teeth through the pain, but it was hard. Every breath felt as if I were being stabbed. My earlier headache had mutated into a monster of a migraine making the cheerful light from the fake sky piercing. I was panting by the time I managed to get my feet under me. I smelled alcohol. Strong stuff. Eris merely grunted as he picked his brother up and slung him over his shoulder.
"Come on," Eris pushed the huge door open and shackled a large hand around my wrist before I could even try to run. Not that I thought I could run in the first place.
"Where are you taking me?" I managed to ask in between gasps of air. I didn't get an answer, but each attempt to free myself from his hold was reprimanded with a short sharp tug that drove the air completely from me. "Let me go!"
He wasn't gentle as he dragged me through the halls. As we began to pass more fae I tried my best to cover myself with my free arm. They all gawked or sneered at me as I was paraded through the castle. I couldn't draw enough air into my lungs.
The world blurred.
Each step felt more difficult than the last, but the hand dragging me was uncaring of my plight.
"What's this?" A familiar voice asked as the hand mercifully let go. I stumbled hardly able to catch myself before face planting into the floor.
"It appears Zellos has tipped our hand, Father."
Panicked, I looked around to see the throne room in all of its glory. Beron was seated upon his throne, looking down at us with absolutely nothing compassionate in his eyes. The Lady of Autumn was seated to his left, her face closed. I used both arms to wrap around my chest, tears of humiliation beginning to fall down my face.
"He smells of alcohol. I caught him ranting about our plans to her while beating her. She apparently refused to share her bed with him." Eris spoke calmly and without any hint of disgust or condemnation. Just facts. Cold and hard as his voice.
And yet...he had lied to his father. Was Eris protecting me somehow? Eris was the first here to call me Illadrin. He had known what I was, even if I did not.
"And why is he unconscious?"
"Turns out the Night Court must have taught her how to fight." Eris said blandly. He was! Eris was trying to save me.
"You did this?" Beron finally turned his gaze upon me and I felt myself shrink underneath it. The facade he had been keeping up for me had disappeared and in its place was the cruel man I had seen before in that tent. Not caring about my fate if it didn't serve him.
"He attacked me."
"You said she knows now?" He asked Eris, not taking his eyes from me. I glared at him. "Ah, so she does. What to do?"
"Give her to me." Eris suggested. Horror cut through me sharp as a knife. "We can't let a powerful bloodline like hers go to waste." The guard I had kept around my mind to keep me from that bond crumbled along with the rest of my mind. Two betrayals in one day. They were just going to use me to make children. I had never even wanted children.
I'd kill myself first. Maybe at this point it would be a mercy in this world.
"She won't be willing." Beron said looking me over.
"That won't be a problem. We can arrange a marriage. Wait for her face to heal. It should be easy to wipe that fighting spirit out of her while we wait. We'll just have to avoid any areas that might show in her dress."
"No." I breathed panic crawling up my spine.
"Very well." Beron said, giving his son a rare smile. "She's yours. Congratulations on your engagement."
"Thank you, Father." Eris bowed at the waist then glanced at me. Another power grab. That's all I was to them.
"Of course, she must be punished for striking one of my sons." Beron motioned to his guards who immediately closed in around me. "Can't have her thinking that's appropriate."
A hand closed around my arms and I immediately struggled to knock them off. Wheezing as the motion tugged at my wounds. "Let me go!"
"Feisty, isn't she?" Eris commented idly.
I tried to throw them off, but they dragged me chest bared before the High Lord of Autumn. Beron looked me over, his eyes alighting on my breasts for a moment before settling on my eyes.
"You can't do this." I hissed trying to shake them off.
"Remove the remains of her shirt." Beron stood and the once warm and inviting throne room became menacing. The fires flickered ominously as the guards stripped me out of the ruined shirt and underthings. The last of my dignity fell along with those shreds of cloth. "Brace her and hold her still."
Beron walked in front of me holding up a single hand. There was a flash of heat and a ball of concentrated fire appeared in his hands. The heat from this distance alone was scorching.
"You will behave, or this will happen again. This will happen as many times as needed before you decide to be a good little female. Understand?"
"Fuck you!"
"Ah, there's that rebellious streak again." Beron tutted as he slowly began to walk behind me. I could tell where he was every second just by the heat that was radiating from his hand. "This is the price you pay for disobeying us. See that it doesn't happen again."
For a moment it felt like something horribly cold had touched my back. Then I was screaming. I could smell myself cooking even as the flames ate further down into my back. My body instinctively bowed away from the heat, but there was no escape. The guards held firm, their grips bruising as I thrashed away from the blinding pain.
I lost track of time.
Lost track of myself.
The voices screamed and spat curses, promising me retribution. Threatening ruin on the House of Autumn. I didn't care about revenge, I simply wanted to get away from the heat.
I reached out to that bridge seeking comfort from the other side. For a moment I felt the cold of snow brushing across my face. A male voice snarled in pain, and I retreated back into the hell that was my body. I closed the gates to my mind. I prayed for a death that did not come.
The very center of the inferno grew quietly numb. And then Beron was walking back in front of me. It still felt like a live flame was crawling over my back.
"Shhh." Beron looked at me meaningfully and I realized that I had been screaming non-stop. I tried to silence myself but sobs kept breaking through my control. "There we are."
"Husband." The voice was gentle and mellow. Beron glanced over raising an eyebrow. "Please allow me to help her to her room and dress her wounds."
"I suppose our new daughter might crave a mother's touch right now. Very well, I'll have the necessary supplies sent to her room. No healer until tomorrow, we want this one to scar a small bit." Beron locked me in his gaze. "A reminder, of what happens when you disobey us."
Everything felt hazy and distant. Something was crashing in the distance, like a hurricane.
"Can you walk?" I wasn't sure when the Lady of Autumn took Beron's place. She watched me for a moment before motioning to the guards who were holding up my bodyweight. When had my legs given out? "Help me get her to her room."
I wanted to tell them to put out the fire on my back, but instead they half dragged me until we ended up back in my old room. A prison, and I was their prisoner. The storm still raged outside, howling with unchecked fury. I was laid face first on the bed. I decided I'd never let them touch me again. No matter what it took they would not have control over me.
Eventually I realized that the Lady and I were alone.
"-must listen to me child. Respond if you hear me." Her voice was low and urgent, holding a panic that outshone any other emotion I had managed to get from her previously.
"I-I hear you." I managed to spit out.
"I'll try to bind this the best I can, but you must see a healer as soon as possible." The Lady quickly went to work wrapping my torso in thick clean bandages.
"You have to put the fire out first, it'll burn." I told her softly. She watched me with compassionate eyes.
"This will not be easy for you, but it's the best I can manage." She patted my hand. "You have to get on your feet now."
I quietly obeyed her commands, forcing myself up onto my feet. I only cried out once. It was too easy to listen to her sweet voice, like honey-suckles on a warm summer's day. But she was one of them, and I weakly chastised myself for giving in so quickly to demands.
"Here." She set out a plain grey shirt and a pair of dark brown pants. "Put these on, we don't have much time."
"Much time for what?"
"In your state you're not fit for travel, but because of that my husband won't post guards yet. This is your only chance for escape. I've sent one of my men to saddle your horse. You won't be able to stop for a while, not until Autumn fades into Summer. Do you understand?"
"You're helping me?"
"No one deserves this." She said kindly. "Try your best to stay awake. Stay on your horse." There was a soft tap at the window and the Lady of Autumn moved to it, opening the curtains to reveal a man dressed in darker colors balancing on the edge of a ladder. Most of his face was obscured by a mask, but the eyes I could see were a soft brown. She quickly opened the window and he hopped inside.
"Area secure." He said in a clipped tone.
"Guard patrols?" She asked quietly.
"Out cold, no check in for an hour. Plenty of time." The male then looked over to me. "This her?"
"Yes, she's injured, you may have to carry her to the ground. I'm not sure how well she's taking the situation."
"Shock?" The Lady simply nodded. "Damn. Are you sure she'll survive?"
"She's a fighter." The Lady was suddenly in front of me again, and this time I really took her in. She was beautiful, glowing with an inner light. Her porcelain skin was graced with a kiss of red on each cheek, most likely from the excitement happening. Given a purpose she had seemed to come back into herself, bursting with vitality.
"Why?" I knew I sounded lost looking to the wife of the man who had done this to me.
"I won't allow this if I can help it. Not under my own roof." She turned away from me looking at the male. "Preparations have been made. Ride her to the edge of Summer, we'll have a horse waiting for you there to come back. Make haste."
"We're leaving her to ride alone after that?" The man looked me over and I couldn't help but shy away from his gaze, stumbling a bit as my legs threatened to give out.
"It's the most we can do for her. I'll attempt to contact Night Court and give them an approximate location. That is what you want, dear?"
I blinked, slowly comprehending the question was directed towards me. I nodded once not sure where else to go.
"Go then." She reached over and softly touched my face with compassion in her eyes. "Be safe."
"Pardon me, miss." The male had crouched watching me with an unreadable expression. "You'll need to climb onto my back now." I teetered over to the man on unsteady legs, and wrapped my arms around his neck, groaning as I tried to wrap my legs around his waist. Too much movement and I had hardly even begun this mad escape.
Would I even survive?
"Remember, you have to see a healer once you're safe. Infection sets in quick with burns as bad as these." She looked to the man, who in a dizzying motion had stood. "Go."
The ladder he hauled us out on was made of rope and secured by a few clips near the edge of my window. It was dusk, darkness starting to settle itself in the sky. The first few stars had begun to shine overhead. I blinked in confusion.
"Where's the rain?" I could still hear the storm. Full of terror and anger, crashing overhead with darkened clouds that just itched with violence. Yet the sky was clear. It was just out of reach, all of that motion and fury.
"Tuck your head against me." The command was soft and I realized that my breathing had become erratic in my panic. "Close your eyes. We'll be on the ground soon, miss." He moved down a rung and the entire world felt like it had lurched slightly.
I did as he instructed and counted my breaths. When I reached 115 the horrible swaying motion finally stopped. His arms curled up under my legs finally allowing me to relax my deathgrip on him. I vaguely wondered if I had been choking him the entire time. He began to run, his footsteps light despite my extra weight. I kept my head down and focused on breathing as each slight jolt sent fire racing over my back once more.
"Alright, you'll need to stand for a moment." The male whispered, loosening his grip on my legs. I stretched out letting my feet hit the ground and choked out a gasp at the tide of pain that crawled across my back at the action. Dark spots danced in my vision, so much so that it took me a moment to recognize Shadowfax's gleaming face. He huffed at me, the whites of his eyes showing the smallest bit.
"Shadowfax," I mumbled reaching out and petting his nose.
"Good, they got the right horse." The male mumbled as he checked the saddle that had been strapped to Shadowfax. It wasn't the saddle I was used to, this one had bags and was black instead of brown and looked a bit gilded on the edges. "Okay, come on." The man gently guided me over to Shadowfax's side. "Try your best not to scream." He added before boosting me up. The movement tore at my sides and back. For a moment it was all I could do to keep my mouth firmly shut. Then I was sitting forward in the saddle with the man quickly mounting back behind me. "He's a lovely steed." He mumbled as he grabbed the reins, locking me onto Shadowfax with his arms. "Let's hope he's fast."
"Shadowfax is the lord of all horses." I whispered back. The man huffed slightly, I couldn't tell if it was amusement or exasperation.
Once Shadowfax began to move my world narrowed to the sway of the horse, the arms of the stranger like solid bands of living iron keeping me in place, and the riot of suffering the body threw my way. We rode hard, faster than I had ever gotten Shadowfax to go before. Trees whipped past us in a blur of white and red. Creatures snarled and gave chase. Never once did he stumble.
"Just hold on." The man rumbled behind me. Time stopped and started on it's own. Trees blipped into fields which shifted into small towns in the distance. Darkness rose to light, and then faded once more. The horse beneath us went from strong and fast to weary and sweat soaked. A soreness added itself to the cacophony that was the body's senses.
The non-existent storm crashed just out of sight. When the trees began to shift into an emerald green the storm changed, became pointed and driven. A tornado of shadow rather than a thunderstorm.
"Awake?"
I forced an affirmative sound out, but it was closer to a groan than anything else. Shadowfax slowed to a stop panting heavily. Thick and heavy warmth had wrapped around us. I struggled to focus on our surroundings, but all that greeted me were tall brown trees with deep emerald leaves. A brown spotted horse was tied to a nearby tree. Small animals flitted this way and that.
"Hold out until they find you." The man said, pushing himself up and out of the saddle in an easy move. "This is where we part ways, miss. Keep yourself upright in the saddle." He ordered a bit firmer than before. I straightened up and whimpered. "You've been passing out quite a bit." The man quickly pulled something out of the saddle bags and offered it to Shadowfax. Water, I could hear Shadowfax drinking it greedily. After he had his fill the man placed it back into the saddlebags. He patted the horses flank lovingly.
"Who are you?"
"Just a means for your escape." He said waving the question away easily. "Stay awake, do whatever it takes to stay that way until they find you. I wish you a better life." The man wandered over to the other horse and easily swung himself up into the saddle. Dark circles were under his eyes now, I could just see that strip of skin where his mask had ridden down a fraction.
"Walk him that way." He said pointing where Shadowfax and I were facing. "Mother guard you."
Just like that I was alone.
"Shadowfax, we're supposed to go that way." I mumbled. He heaved a deep breath and began walking the way I pointed. "I don't feel good." I told him, my posture already sagging. I hadn't realized just how much the stranger had kept my body upright for me. The burn on my back throbbed in time with my heartbeat, licking my skin with phantom flames. Breathing was difficult, so I opted to take short shallow breaths so as to not disturb my ribs more than I needed to.
Shadowfax weaved his way through the trees, seemingly knowing which way to go on his own. He kept one ear cocked forward and the other back as if monitoring me. I fought to keep myself upright, but eventually I found myself draped partially over his neck. Weakness and sleep clawed at me stretching every second into an eternity.
"I named you after one of my favorite movies." I told Shadowfax deliriously. Birds sang all around us. A sweet breeze lifted my hair, bringing with it moments of blessed cool. Summer sang to me her sweet melody, lulling me. Calling to me to close my eyes.
We must stay awake. The voices were loud. I opened my eyes not realizing that I had closed them.
"You wanna hear a song?" I asked Shadowfax quietly. "Maybe that'll keep me awake."
I struggled to remember a melody let alone a song, but eventually as I rode Shadowfax through a Summer scented forest one came to me.
"I saw the light fade from the sky." My voice, which had not been my voice from before held the music easily. "On the wind I heard a sigh. As the snowflakes cover my fallen brothers I will say this last goodbye."
"Night is now falling, so ends this day. The road is now calling, and I, must away." The landscape rolled by slowly. I focused on the sound of my own voice rather than anything else. "Over hill, and under tree through lands where never light has shone. By silver streams that run down, to the sea."
A sea of green flashed below them. The undergrowth hardly seen through the thick canopy. So much land to cover and they had so few people to do so.
"Under cloud, beneath the stars, over snow one winter's morn'."
It felt impossible, but the thin chance that the Lady of Autumn's message was true was enough to send Azriel winnowing into the skies above Summer. Cassian, Rhysand, and Mor had followed though Amren had warned that the message had the makings of a trap. He didn't care. He couldn't breathe. Couldn't think past the pain that had flared and gone silent a few days ago. His shadows raced beneath him, a living nightmare of darkness that threatened to swallow the land around him whole.
"I turn at last to paths that lead home and though where the road then takes me...I cannot tell. We came all this way, but now comes the day to bid you farewell."
Faintly, as if through a dream an ethereal voice echoed back to him. Near where Cassian had been flying. As if hearing the strange music Cassian adjusted his flight, moving faster. The voice was sweet and high, trilling just above the birdsong. Beautiful enough he found his entire body clenching at the sound of it.
A need beyond words. Beyond thought. Azriel immediately twisted mid-air to follow the sound.
"Many places I have been." I sang my mind flashing to and away from me with such speed I wasn't quite sure where I was. Shadowfax was solid beneath me, though he had started to pick up speed flashing torment through the body at a faster pace. "Many sorrows I have seen."
"But I don't regret, nor will I forget all who took that road with me." Close enough to hear the words now Azriel raced after Cassian. After her. He could feel it and in response darkness swept through the trees ahead of him. Searching for a single taste. A breath of her.
"Night is now falling, so ends this day." Shadowfax whinnied, sounding panicked. Darkness thicker than any I had ever seen before wiped the forest away around us. It crawled up Shadowfax who had slowed and was jolting me horribly to attempt to stomp away the slithering things. They didn't seem to mind the onslaught and crawled up his legs. The moment they touched a foot I felt the wispy things dive over me, curling almost lovingly around me. Coolness briefly touched my back for the first time. Then they scattered away bringing the light back as quickly as it had vanished. One single shadow remained curled around my arm, which was white knuckled around Shadowfax's reigns. Weakness swamped over me and I forced myself to sing once more, focusing on the sound. "The road is now calling and I, must away."
There. If Azriel had any thought left he would have found it interesting that a single taste of her only made his need worse. Like an addictive substance the entirety of his being demanded more of her.
He pushed himself harder and faster than ever before. The tendons in his wings singing with pain. He didn't care. Her voice clear and sweet was calling him. "Over hill and under tree through lands where never light has shone. By silver streams that run down to the sea." Cassian would reach her first, but not by much.
"To these memories I will hold, with your blessing I will go. To turn at last to paths that lead home and though where the road then takes me...I cannot tell." Shadowfax's ears flattened as he bared his teeth at the sky. "We came all this way, but now comes the day to bid you farewell."
Shadowfax attempted to bolt, jerking me enough to force a shattered sob to tear from my throat. Power bright and red sprang up before us, curling in a huge circle that headed Shadowfax off. Rather than jump the flickering power he slowed to a stop, baring his teeth once more as a dark figure dropped from the sky with surprising speed.
"Easy." A familiar deep voice comforted. "We're not here to hurt you or her." Huge wings flared off a broad back. Muscles thick and corded seemed tense. A face hewn from the elements themselves turned and locked onto me. Relief, anger, and horror washed over his face before he controlled it.
"Nova," Cassian said, his voice a bit hoarse.
Shadowfax pranced backwards as another form dropped from the sky, shadows scattered around his landing point. The most handsome fae I had ever seen didn't hesitate as he marched toward Shadowfax and I. A black miasma flowing behind him like some grand cape.
"Az, you might want to-"
Azriel merely snarled, not taking his eyes from me. Shadowfax whinnied loudly clacking his teeth at the shadowsinger, and Azriel went to pull the blade at his thigh.
"Don't!" I nearly screamed, pushing myself up and off of Shadowfax to intercept the oncoming attack. The body gave out the moment I hit the ground. Agony ripped through my senses and the world briefly flickered black.
Chapter Reacap: Zellos takes Nova to his personal quarters promising a surprise. Nova feels uneasy and attempts multiple times to tell him her news, that she wants to go back to the Night Court. He ignores her. The surprise is that he has cleared out space in his personal quarters for Nova to live in. He kisses her and she forces herself to kiss him back, thinking that any affection is better than none. However, when Zellos tries to move things toward the bed she stops him admitting that she doesn't feel the way he wants her to feel and that she wants to go back to the Night Court.
Zellos turns cruel and attempts to force her to have sex with him. Remembering some of Cassian's training, Nova breaks away from him and tries to flee. When cornered she uses her newfound Illadrin powers to force Zellos into giving away that his entire relationship with her had been a lie. They were not mates, and she was to be used to gain power and to breed more potent magic into the High Lord's family. Eris catches Nova and realizes what she is (Illadrin). Zellos breaks free and attacks Nova, breaking her ribs and bruising her face. At which point Eris knocks out his brother and pours alcohol down his throat.
Eris lies to his father and says that Zellos had spilled their secrets while drunk and attacked Nova when she refused his advances. Eris then offers to marry her instead. Beron agrees but not before teaching her a lesson for striking Zellos. He then horribly burns her back, adding another injury to the already hurt Nova.
The Lady of Autumn offers to take care of her and she is escorted back to her room. It's then revealed that the Lady has more contacts than first thought and helps Nova escape to the border of Summer, using Shadowfax as a getaway horse. She also sends a message to the Night Court telling them of Nova's eventual location. Nova attempts to stay awake by singing a LOTR song she likes to Shadowfax, and because of this she is found by first Cassian and then Azriel. She passes out attempting to protect Shadowfax from Azriel who is out of his mind trying to get to her.