Chapter Twenty Seven: Houses and Shopping
"Don't you think it's a little much?"
"No, not at all!" Morrigan responded immediately, giving me one of her billion watt smiles. "It's perfect for you." She sighed happily.
"I don't know…" I muttered, scraping my boot against the icy cobbled street. Morrigan had taken it upon herself to check out every available listing in Velaris. A lot of them were in a place called the Rainbow, an artists quarter of the city which seemed to have been attacked recently. Signs of battle still showed in the chipped edges of buildings, some of the murals that decorated the empty spaces between buildings had been destroyed. The snow helped cover some of the damage, but it wasn't hard to notice with newly immortal eyes. I averted my gaze looking instead to the sparkle of water. The Sidra, which snaked through the whole of Velaris, wasn't too far away, though it was a hell of a drop to the waters. Velaris seemed almost elevated above the water.
"You haven't even been inside." Mor said with a slight huff, putting her hands on her hips. We had spent most of the morning going to different apartments. Most of them were of decent size, but the constant crowds of fae had kept me on edge all morning. Nothing felt right. Morrigan told me she had saved the best for last here in the Rainbow, and with the building in front of us I had to agree.
"I mean…" I glanced back at the building in question, feeling my stomach flip. It was essentially a full house squeezed between shops so that it was taller than it was wide. "It's very big."
"Not nearly as big as the House of Wind." She teased lightly, motoning for me to look at the house. I took a deep breath in trying to ignore the buzz of life around me and walked to the door. It was unlocked surprisingly. Then again, with Morrigan being the person to help me barter with the locals, they were more than willing to trust her. Enough to leave the door unlocked for her. I wondered just what her role was in the inner circle. I'd have to ask soon.
The first floor was mainly a living room, with a hearth set into the far wall. To the left an open door frame led to another room. A set of wooden stairs led up to the second floor on the right hand side. It was muted and dark, dust coating the floor. The chill from outside had crept in through the cracks of the house leaving our breath ghosting in front of us as we explored deeper.
Morrigan had explained the attack on the rainbow to me. The slaughter of innocents. The reason behind the empty houses. In each place I could almost taste the loss. All of them were swaddled in melancholy and old grief. I felt like an imposter just trying to settle in some dead person's house right after the end of the war that had taken their lives.
I walked further inside and couldn't help but smell the faint remnants of some Fae who had been here before me. I wandered over to the door, curious, as the room beyond couldn't be big enough for a bedroom. Instead what greeted me was a quaint little kitchenette with a stove and an oven and what looked like a small fridge.
"So, this could be your sitting space." Mor said her voice echoing back to me from the main living room. I ducked back out of the kitchen and wandered over to her. "There, we can have a few seats. And maybe a rug here." She said tapping in the middle of the floor. "That way you can have guests over. Also maybe a small table here, for meals." She muttered as she wandered near the kitchen.
Seeming a little lost in her own thoughts I left Morrigan to wander up the stairs, noting that the third step creaked slightly. The second floor was mostly a hallway with what looked to be three rooms, two tucked on either side with the third being closest to the stairs up. Near the end of the hallway there was a small staircase leading up and to a door. The door closest to the stairwell held a beautiful bathroom complete with a large tub that had a showerhead tucked above it. That was one hell of a perk that the others didn't seem to have, I thought as I walked back out to the hallway. They had bathrooms of course, but they were small cramped affairs that had made me anxious just looking at them.
I ducked into one of the side rooms, happy to see that it was illuminated by natural light. It was a simple room, mostly open space. The other room was the same, only flipped.
I wandered up the staircase and pulled open the door only to see a small cramped space that only led to the left. Anxiety flared at the sight of the small space. It reminded me of the cave I had huddled in, my breath hissing back to me from cold stone walls as a creature crept forward on near-silent paws. Of an all encompassing darkness tearing me apart atom by atom. I shook my head trying to clear the unhappy memories.
The air was thicker with dust here, but I stepped into the little cramped space anyways, heading left. Almost immediately the space opened up into a massive attic, sunlight streaming in through a massive window that faced the street. Relief barreled through me, wiping away the claustrophobic feeling.
Unlike the rest of the house this space didn't really smell like another fae. It tasted of dust and long undisturbed places. I took a deep breath in, relishing the absence. A dull seated ache pounded on my back, it had only gotten worse as the day wore on. I debated sitting down on the dust caked floor, but finally decided against it. These weren't my clothes after all, just borrowed. Like much of my life here had been. I had been surviving off of the generosity of others and it had started to wear on me.
When would they come to collect? What would I have to do for them? How much more of myself would I lose to this place? Was I even me anymore?
I could hear Mor moving a floor below me, first going into one room. Then another. Light footsteps sounded climbing the stairs and then her scent brushed into the room like a breath of fresh air. I smiled at her.
"This is nice." She said, nodding to the room at large. "Lots of room for storage."
"I don't really need storage." I said, glancing around. "I don't have enough things to need storage space."
"You will soon enough," Mor said, catching a hold of my hand. Her grip was warm and firm. "So, what do you think?"
"It's big." I answered. "Probably expensive." I hedged.
"Don't worry about that, Rhys has you covered."
"But," I looked up to meet her chocolate eyes and felt instantly guilty about trying to push away their generosity. "I just….don't know how I'm going to pay you back." I finished miserably.
"You joined the inner circle. Your job right now is to get better and learn to control your powers. Then you'll use them for the good of our court. Don't worry about minor stuff like this." It was hard to say no to her. "Do you like this one?"
I nodded. It was better than the other places. I really liked this room in particular. It felt safe. Morrigan tugged on my hand and led me back down to the ground floor.
"I thought you'd like this one." She said as we reached the bottom steps. "Your cleanup crew should be here any moment now." She added with an amused smile.
"Cleanup crew?"
A soft rap came at the door and Morrigan snickered slightly and let go of my hand.
"I was right," she said proudly as she opened the door. "This is the one!"
Masculine laughter answered her. "You're just happy because you'll have a place to crash when you drink too much at Rita's." I recognized Cassian's voice instantly.
"Hey!" Morrigan protested as Cassian moved her aside to come further inside. He gave me a grin before looking around letting out a low whistle.
"Nice place. Enough room for all of us." He added with a wink thrown my way. "Don't think we'll be out of your hair because you've left the House of Wind." There was a flash of magic and Cassian was holding a small grouping of brooms. Another few flashes and he had a whole motley of cleaning instruments and liquids. "Have you picked your room yet?"
"Um…." I glanced away, eyes trailing on the railing of the stairs beside me. Thinking for a moment I nodded.
A broad rough and warm hand caught my upper arm dragging my gaze to Cassian. Hazel eyes met mine a spark of playfulness shimmering in their depths. He simply raised an eyebrow waiting for my answer.
"The attic."
"You sure you don't want-" Mor began.
"Take me there." He said with a smile. "Also, do you mind if I pick my room?"
A sharp crack was the only warning I got from Mor playfully cuffing at the massive warrior. "You do not get to call a room. They're for guests."
Cassian looked mock offended, pressing a large hand to his chest. "And I'm not a guest?" I began the trek upstairs secretly amused by their antics. "You just want to pick your room first."
"I've already picked my room." Mor snickered.
"No one is picking a room." I called back to them. Silence greeted my words. "It wouldn't be fair to anyone else that wanted to stay." I added as we crossed the second floor.
"Come on, they'll basically be our rooms anyway." Mor cajoled as I led us into the attic. Cassian looked around and nodded to himself.
"It's a nice space." He said his wings stretching out fully before settling at his back once more. "Okay then we finish this room first before anything else." He began sitting his cleaning supplies down. I reached out for a broom but instead of hitting a wooden handle my hand was expertly diverted away. "Nope, not in your condition."
"Come on, let the big guy do his part. We have somewhere else to be." Mor said, already trying to tug me down the stairs. My last glimpse of the Illyrian was of him giving me a smirk and half-salute before turning to pick up the broom I had gone for.
"Feyre and Elain should be waiting for us."
Dread curled through my veins. "Feyre?" I slowed a bit, pulling against Mor's hold on my arm. I could not, no, would not bother the High Lady of this land. They were already doing so much for me I couldn't possibly-
"You'll hurt our High Lady's feelings if you don't let her help. You're part of the inner circle now, she wants to get to know you." Mor whisked us outside and back onto the icy streets. "Only reason she hasn't come to visit you more is because they were so busy after the war. But things are starting to slow down here, and Feyre is a good female. Trust me."
"I don't doubt that she is but," The snow and wind carried a musky and alluring scent. The scent of dark places, leather, and books. I whipped toward the scent, my every instinct urging me to find the owner. Azriel had paused across the street from us, amber-like eyes trained on me. "Azriel." I barely spoke but he dipped his head slightly in response.
Mor beamed at him and he walked over. I tried to close myself off from the bridge, trying to muffle the muted energy of it glowing brighter as he neared me.
"Mor. Nova." He greeted us each in turn. "Cassian is already inside then?" He asked, glancing back down the street to the darkened house.
"Yep," Mor answered for me, trying to ease the strange tension between us.
"You don't have to help." I told him quietly. He looked me over for a long moment, his face revealing nothing about what was going on beneath the surface. Flickers of something were trying to reach me from that bridge and I formed a bright shimmering curtain of light to mentally surround me, keeping the shadowed other side at bay.
"I want to help." Azriel told me quietly. "We're friends, and you're to be working with me. I need a good impression." He added the barest hint of amusement in his eyes.
"So you're looking to score brownie points?" At the shred of warmth he gave me I felt myself relaxing, shifting back into the normal banter I had with these Illyrians. "You're more likely to get on my good side by feeding me."
"Noted."
"First things first, she needs a few beds and some sitting places." Morrigan said seemingly deep in thought on my behalf.
"Make sure to get her bed first. The others we can worry about tomorrow."
"Tomorrow?" I echoed dismayed.
The very corners of his eyes crinkled the smallest bit at my tone. "You do have an entire house to fill."
"Don't remind me." I sighed.
"What female doesn't enjoy shopping?" Mor asked aghast at my attitude. I couldn't help but smile at her.
"Ones who never had the money to do it. When you have little funds it means you talk yourself out of everything but the essentials."
"So you don't hate shopping, you've just never had enough money for it. Don't worry you're set now!" Mor nearly sang, threading her arm through mine as she began to march us further into Velaris. I gave Azriel a half-hearted wave and he dipped his head at me before turning to walk toward the abandoned house.
"There you two are." A sharp feminine voice stopped both Mor and myself dead in our tracks. Amren gave us a smile, something sharp and dangerous. Behind her both Feyre and her sister Elain smiled at our appearance.
"Who brought the dragon?"
"Watch it girl." Amren half growled at Mor.
"She wanted to come along." Feyre said, a slight snicker in her tone. Elain quickly moved past the others to wrap me in a light hug. I noticed her hands specifically avoided my upper back. I hugged her back pleased when her soft sweet scent enveloped us both.
"It's so good to see you!" I said and meant it. Elain was already looking me over.
"We were so worried when you disappeared." She said, meeting my eyes. She didn't have her sisters piercing blue eyes. Instead they were a warm chocolate pretty enough to rival Mor's gaze. "I'm so glad you came back to us."
"Touching as this is, we might want to get on with it." Amren drawled at us.
"Of course." Elain said with a nod, sliding her hand into mine almost instantly. "So where do we start?"
"Nice to see you." Feyre said with a slight nod to me. "I say we start with furniture first. I know a store that's perfect for what we need."
"She'll need clothes too." Amren cut in. "We should be able to get her a few nice outfits from the Palace of Thread and Jewels."
"Of course you'd want to go there." Mor said, beginning to walk in a direction that meant we were going deeper into Velaris. "Wanting to add to your horde?"
Elain and I trailed after the three, watching them as they spoke to one another.
"You look sad." Elain mentioned quietly.
"No, I'm fine." I said trying to force myself to seem happier than I was.
"Don't do that," Elain tutted, patting my hand. "Holding this kind of stuff in is bad for you."
"I shouldn't be here. I'm...tired and hurting and scared." I muttered glancing down to my marked arms. Just days ago I had been standing in the throne room of Autumn, hands clamping down on me. Beron smirking as Eris hovered at the edges of my vision like a vulture. "They were going to…" Zellos' hands pressing me into the bed, his body hard against mine. The fury in his eyes as he kicked me. I had seen that gleam before, but I had been so mesmerized by the thought of belonging somewhere I dismissed it out of hand.
I wondered if I was making the same mistake with these people. Gifts were the first thing they had tried to use in the Autumn court. Just like this. Have your own room. Have a library. A horse. Anything you desire so long as you behave like a good breeding mare.
I missed Shadowfax.
"Hey," my free hand was captured by a new long fingered and elegant hand. I followed the tattooed arm up to meet Feyre's gaze. "Are you going to be okay?"
"I don't know." I answered truthfully.
She nodded her fingers twisting to lace through my own. "I understand." She said softly. "This is a lot, right after something terrible."
I tried to tug away. "You don't have to do this, your majesty. I-"
Feyre laughed the happy sound skipping up and down the street echoing from the nearby buildings.
"Don't-" She gasped for breath in-between bouts of laughter. "Don't call me your majesty. Just Feyre is fine."
"But, you're High Lady." I deflected the request quickly.
"To you, I'm Feyre. I've been wanting to talk to you for some time now. I'm sorry I didn't visit before."
"You had a lot to do." I said, meeting her gaze. "I didn't expect you to-"
"I wanted to." She corrected me. "Let's get you a home set up and then we can worry about the other stuff."
I nodded. What else could I do?
The next few hours were spent ducking in and out of stores. Feyre was insistent I didn't need to worry about the price. The bed that we finally settled on was a huge thing, made solidly of some rich dark wood and extensively carved to look as if it were made of roots that had magically grown in the shape of a massive bed. Going with the theme we also bought a wardrobe of the same design, and a few night tables.
Morrigan picked out the beds for my guest rooms, making sure that both of them were large enough to fit our Illyrian friends, though one of them she got with a deep red sheet set that I was sure she had picked for herself.
Elain helped pick out the furniture for my living room, seeming to have a good time picking matching things. I honestly didn't really care. I had never been one for interior design, not really. I had always been a passerby, even in my apartment. We weren't really allowed to do much and on a shoestring budget I had taken in any crappy furniture I could afford, making it work with duct tape and patience.
The sun was setting as we stepped back out onto the cold street.
"I say we eat before we continue." Morrigan said, basically draping herself over Feyre.
"We could always visit Sevenda." Feyre offered. To my surprise even Amren smiled at that. Feyre's head cocked to the side slightly and a warm relieved smile broke over her face. "Looks like we'll have company too. Rhys, Cassian, and Azriel want to come too."
"It'll be nice." Elain sighed happily.
Discomfort prickled over my skin, making me want to shiver out of this body completely. Too much too soon. I could tell they were really trying to make me feel welcome, but it was having the opposite effect. How was I supposed to pay them back for this? How would I even fit into this large group of happy people?
Snow had begun to fall again in fat flakes decorating the women ahead of me as if they had been sprinkled with powdered sugar. The cold had managed to worm its way past all of my layers. My fingers were taking the worst of it already stiff and uncooperative.
If there was one good thing about the cold it was that it was helping numb and smooth away my aches and pains, but I knew the moment I got into a decently warm environment for long enough they would come rushing back worse than ever.
The people of Velaris were odd, I had noticed during our excursion today. I had seen back at the war ground how people treated their High Lords. The fear and deference that shone in people's eyes. The people here simply gave Feyre a slight smile before going on about their day. Treating her as if she were anyone else on the street.
In fact they seemed more afraid of Amren than anyone else. A fact which seemed to please her to no end.
"Nova." Elain's soft and sweet voice caught me off guard causing me to flinch slightly. If she noticed the slip up she didn't remark upon it. "Do you like plants?"
I remembered vaguely that Elain used gardening as a way to center herself.
"I do." I said, giving her a slight smile. "I never had a garden or anything, but I had a few in my room back in the apartment. A few succulents, a lilly, and some lavender. The lavender was my favorite." I said conspiratorially. "I even used the last of some of my paychecks to give them really nice pots."
Warmth bloomed around us as we walked into the small sitting area of some restaurant. What did Feyre call it again? Sevenida? Seven-something at least. We were still outside and I marveled at the sudden change. It was closer to a mild spring day here. The ice and snow fell scant inches away from me and yet the cobblestone here was clear.
"Isn't it wondrous?" Elain breathed. "I'm still getting used to it. Magic!"
"It's fantastic." I echoed her sentiment.
"You're cute." A large hand landed on my head, crushing the snow that had settled there into my scalp and making me jump. Cassian chuckled at my reaction and ruffled my hair slightly before letting his arm fall around my shoulders instead. "How goes the shopping?" He asked as I relaxed into his hold.
"We got some furniture." I said looking up to meet his warm gaze. There was just the hint of stubble on his cheeks, making him look all the more rugged and handsome. "And some bed clothes."
"You need help breaking those in?" He asked, pitching his voice lower and leaning in a bit toward me. A sharp crack answered his question before I could. Cassian winced and rubbed at his shoulder pulling away from me.
"Ignore him." Azriel said stepping up, snow still caught in his black hair. "We all do."
"Play nice." Rhysand said sweeping past us to go and wrap Feyre into an intimate embrace.
I glanced away, a strange knot forming in my chest.
"Why does everyone keep hitting me today?" Cassian asked me pretending to be hurt. I rolled my eyes and lightly smacked his arm.
It didn't take long for us to be seated. Cassian suggested we eat outside to watch the snow and enjoy the weather. I ended up sandwiched between Elain and Cassian. A menu was placed in front of me and I busied myself with looking through it not really willing to interact fully with any of them. The day had been so long, all I wanted was to duck into an empty room for a few hours and decompress.
The food of the Fae was surprisingly mundane, things I could find in a normal restaurant although burgers didn't seem to be a thing here. I wondered if they ever had pizza before.
"Nice to see you again." A warm feminine voice greeted. I glanced up following the voice to see a slim dark skinned fae, with a wondrous smile. The smile was currently directed at Feyre and Rhysand who were beginning to beam back. I ignored the conversation and looked over the choices again. Or at least tried to ignore it, with my enhanced hearing it was hard for me to really put anything out of mind. Some small part of my brain kept track of what they were saying. Sevenda was the name of this fairy, not the restaurant.
Chicken dish. Spicy Chicken dish. Beef Dish. Fish. The choices marched in front of me, seeming both a respite from everything and an obstacle all on it's own. I bit my lip in concentration, and something washed against the steady curtain of light I had created against the shadowed end of the moonstone bridge. I glanced to Azriel, seated on the other side of Elain, reflexively and found his gaze on me. Amber eyes flickered briefly from my eyes to my mouth and back again, so briefly I wondered if I had actually seen the movement at all.
"The chicken is good." He told me nonchalantly. I half smiled at his recommendation, glancing back toward the choices.
"The steak is the only way to go." Cassian's finger tapped at the menu in front of me. "Hang on, how do you take your steak?" He asked suspiciously. "Or have you….had steak?"
"Rare." I answered quietly.
"Correct."
"Were you going to judge me if I said well done?" I asked amused.
"Only on the inside." Cassian tossed me a wink.
"Is this like the food you had back home?" Elain asked, gently inserting herself into the conversation.
"I mean, yes and no really." I decided on baked salmon wanting something lighter to eat than chicken or beef. "We had stuff like this back home." I amended.
"Come on, give us a peek inside that little head of yours." Cassian said tousling my hair again. I scowled at him and tried to pat it back in place as he snickered.
"I would like to know more about your world." Elain's request was soft and non-demanding. Even so I felt a twinge in my stomach thinking about my old world. Would I ever get back? What would I do even if I could go back?
"What would you like to know?"
I tried not to notice how beautiful she was when excited. Elain reminded me of every soft lovely thing I had ever wanted to emulate. Her nature was what I wished I could have been instead of what I turned out to be.
"Okay, what's the food like there?"
I thought for a long moment. "To preface, my world was very connected to itself. With a click of a button I could have things from the other side of the world shipped to my house." I thought for a moment. "We had food like this, but we also had different styles of cooking from all over the world. Entire restaurants would dedicate themselves to a specific type of food from around the world."
"What was your favorite?" Cassian asked, adding himself into the conversation with ease.
"Italian." I said with a firm nod. "Anything italian."
"What would you find in this food?" The voice was a strangers and I glanced sharply up to see Sevenda standing across from us. I gave her a smile and she echoed it back to me.
"Hmmm...well picking like a specific item. Um, like Pizza!" I said settling on the first thing my mind went to other than spaghetti. "You create a dough which you then stretch into a wide thin disk. You put a pizza sauce...oh….um…..a tomato based sauce with basil and oregano and garlic amongst other things…..each person makes theirs differently." I added rubbing the back of my neck, suddenly very conscious of all of the eyes on me. "Then you sprinkle on cheese, usually mozzarella. Something mellow with a hint of salt to it. And then you can add whatever toppings you want. I like pepperoni, which is a cured meat cut into little disks. Then you bake it until the crust has become breadlike and the cheese has melted."
"Perhaps you can show me how sometime?" Sevenda offered a gleam in her eyes.
"Sure, if you'd like."
"She's moving in not far from here." Cassian said, tossing his head back toward the street of my new house.
"Well, welcome to the Rainbow." She said with a wide smile. "So, what can I get you?"
I pointed out the entree I wanted, then waited as I listened to the others make their orders. I found my gaze pulled back to the snowfall, watching as more came down than before starting to cover the stones of the street completely. I thought of the shape of Velaris, tucked in between the massive stone sentinels that were the mountains that loomed in the distance. Of course storms would get trapped here, I wondered what spring and summer were like here.
"Nova." My name was a soft exhalation laced with shadows. I glanced at Azriel and met his gaze. For someone with such a warm color of brown in his eyes, his stare often felt frigid. "Is that okay with you?" He asked patiently.
I blinked, noticing that many of the eyes at the table were now latched onto me. "I um….I wasn't paying attention." I admitted sheepishly. Cassian smirked slightly.
"We were making plans." Mor explained with an amused smile. "We're going to split up to try and cover as much ground as we can."
"Oh," I nodded to myself. "That would make things faster." A gentle curl of worry and dread bloomed in my stomach. Was I ungrateful for their massive help? Was it rude to expect this from them? "Only if you want to, of course. I don't want to force anyone…"
"We're the ones making the plans." Cassian said looking slightly confused. "How is that forcing anyone to help you?"
"Well…" I began, but Mor quickly butted in.
"If anything we've been pressuring you too much." My back ached in agreement. I shook my head folding my hands into my lap.
"No, not at all." I answered, trying to deflect what felt like an oncoming argument. "So what were the plans?" I asked quickly, a little too quickly if I was being honest.
"My sister and I were going to try and stock your kitchen." Elain said, gesturing to Feyre who nodded. "Get you pots and pans and the like."
"Elain knows the most about this kind of stuff." Feyre explained a faint hint of pride coloring her tone.
"We're going to work on the house more." Cassian said, jerking a thumb toward Rhysand who flashed me a boyish and disarming smile. He was gorgeous and the bastard knew it too. There was almost an arrogance in the way he smiled at me, as if he was aware of the almost involuntary easing of the knot of distrust in my gut at the way he looked.
"I'm borrowing the dragon for a bit." Mor said ignoring the answering hiss from Amren.
Almost all of them had paired off, which meant that the only other person left was…
"Az can go with you so you can get some clothes. Make sure to grab some winter gear too." Morrigan said with a nod. "In fact try to grab some clothes for all weather, you'll be having to build your wardrobe from scratch."
I went to protest.
"And don't worry about the price." Mor quickly blurted before I could speak.
"Is that okay with you?" Azriel asked.
"Yeah that's fine." I said after a long tense moment. I swore that I could see a look pass between Cassian and Mor and the both of them cracked a smile.
"Good!" Cassian said looking a bit smug. "Bonding time!" He threw Rhysand a wink, and I swore that Mor gave Elain a small thumbs up.
Once again I felt as if I had fallen into a trap set for me by Cassian and Morrigan. I wondered just what they expected to happen, but the thought was cut short as a motley of enticing smells exploded into the air. The food had arrived, and I was suddenly starving.