Brace yourselves folks, this try outs gonna be very different to the first two. Spoiler alert for anyone who never saw Drawn Together.

Disclaimer: I do not own Supermansion, any of its characters or any of the characters appearing in this story.

Supermansion Unlimited

"Captain Hero," Rex read the resume.

"The one and only," Hero stood proudly.

"Tell us a little about yourself." Portia said.

"Well I'm originally from the planet Zebulon," he began. "But I was sent to Earth as a baby when the planet fell into the sun."

"Dear God!" Saturn gasped, but then smiled. "Now that's a tragic back story."

"You're an alien!?" Ranger narrowed his eyes. "Do you have a green card?"

"Really Ranger?" Rex snapped. "He just said his planet was destroyed and that's the first place your mind goes?"

"Now I protect the Earth." Hero continued. "If evil strikes and innocent people are in danger, then this looks like a job for Captain Hero!" With that he tore off his costume, revealing an identical costume underneath.

"Ah, what was that?" Robobot asked.

"Oh I always wear my costume under my clothes." Hero explained.

"Even when your already wearing your costume?" Portia asked.

Hero just smiled. "Yep."

"Okay then. What kind of powers do you have?" Lex asked.

"Well I could tell you, but how about I show you!" Hero dashed over to a statue, "Super speed." He grabbed the statue and lifted it with one hand above his head, "super strength." He snapped it in half before throwing the pieces into the air and flew up after them. "Flight and laser vision!" He blasted the stone pieces causing them to explode.

He landed and the league gave a small applause. "Very impressive," Rex observed.

"It also says you have a Hero Shield?" Lex asked.

"What? Oh that. I ah, lost that power, must have wrote it down my mistake." Hero said quickly as his eyes darted back and forth.

Suddenly a crash was heard. Everyone turned to see a large piece of the blasted statue had landed on Black Saturn's car, breaking the windshield and burning the upholstery. "MY CAR!" Saturn screamed and ran over to put out the fire.

"Whoops, sorry." Hero apologised.

"Don't worry about it." Rex waved it off. "Now this says you've been a superhero for many years and faced a lot of villains."

"Oh I've fought my share of supervillains all right." Hero started counting them off. "The Gigantic Midget, the Evil Mad Libber and his sidekick the Mighty QuadrapilJack, and the most confused villain of all Senior Eskimo Goldberg."

"Worst names ever," Brad said

"Look, I think we can all agree that I'm League material." Hero smiled.

"That's for us to decide." Black Saturn returned and crossed his arms.

"Okay, I see what your concerned about. But let me assure you I love gay people. I actually have a gay roommate and I'm sure you and I will get along just as well." Hero pointed at Black Saturn.

"What!?" Saturn stood up gasping. "I'm not gay! I like chicks!"

"Didn't you bang the Groaner last Halloween." Cooch asked.

"What!? Who told you that?" He demanded.

"I told her." Brad said.

"How did you know?" Saturn asked.

"I read it on your twitter page," he answered.

"You must have posted it in one of your drunken hissing fits." Robobot explained.

"Oh God!" Saturn started crying.

"Black Saturn crying." American Ranger deadpanned. "What a shock."

"The Groaner you say?" Captain Hero placed a hand under his chin. "Tell me, is he affiliated with the Moaner?"

"Lets move on shall we?" Rex spoke up, hoping to get back on track.

"Hey just double checking, if I join I get to move into the Mansion right?" Hero asked.

"That's correct." Ranger nodded.

"Fair warning, living this odd bunch will take some getting use to." Portia said.

"Can't be much different than the house I live in now." Hero shrugged. "I live with an overly religious princess, a hot black mystery solving musician, a whale, a totally gay video game adventurer, an internet pig, an Asian battle monster and a wacky what ever the f*** he is."

No one was quite sure what to say to any of that. "Okay," Rex tried to get the ball rolling again. "Now according to your resume you created the -"

"HOLY F***ING SHIT!" Robobot said suddenly.

"Whats the matter?" Lex asked. "Is Storm City under attack?"

"No," the robot stood up. "I will be right back." With that he ran back inside the mansion.

"That was Weird." Cooch said.

"Hey if your into weird and freaky, then I'm your guy." Hero winked at her.

"Sorry to break it to you solider but Cooch here us actually a cat." Ranger explained.

"A hyper evolved cat." Cooch clarified.

"Debateable." Ranger said.

"Also taken," Brad narrowed his eyes.

"That's no problem," Hero waved it off. "I don't care about race or species. Especially in the bedroom."

"Gross." Rex winched.

"Oh like you can judge," the cat shot back.

"And what is that supposed to mean?" The Subtopion asked.

"You did have sex with Frau Mantis." Portia pointed out. "A bug. No offence Lex."

"Little offended." She replied.

"Not the mention my wife for over half a century!" Ranger snapped.

"And my Mom!" Black Saturn added.

"Mine two!" Ranger added.

"Oh," Rex sunk down in his seat a bit.

"Dude," Hero smiled. "Two Moms, a bug and an old lady? That's gotta be some kind of a record. Up top," he raised his hand.

"Don't touch that hand!" Robobot returned with papers in his hands.

"Whats wrong?" Rex asked.

"I ran a background check on Captain Leslie Hero," the robot said.

"Leslie?" Brad snickered.

"First of all, most of the villains he fights are all mentally challenged individuals who most heroes don't feel comfortable fighting. Others aren't villains at all." Robobot handed out the papers, "what else I found will shock you."

"Destruction of a supermarket?" Portia read.

"Not so super after all," Hero smirked.

Saturn had stopped crying, "rampaging through a restaurant?"

"Super Salad may have escaped me that time, and the three other times I went there, but next time I will find him!" He said dramatically.

"Betting on your own fights and then throwing them?" Brad read.

"I know what your thinking and yes, the answer is a crap load of money." Hero said.

"You killed Supernanny?" Ranger read. "Oh wait, she was invading the White House, never mind."

"Theft, assault, kidnapping, murder," Rex read then gasped. "Multiple counts of gross abuse of a corpse?"

"Gross is a little harsh," Hero shrugged.

"Ah guys, I just looked up the destruction of planet Zebulon." Lex spoke up while looking at her phone. "It says Zebulon was destroyed just a few years ago. Plus, witnesses says someone literally threw it into a sun."

"I am NOT the lamest superhero ever!" Hero snapped. "Oh, sorry about that. Yeah turns out Zebulon wasn't destroyed like I thought it was. Who knew?"

"Anyone with internet access apparently." Ranger pointed out.

"Warning! I am detecting increased radiation levels." Robobot spoke up. "They are similar to the radiation from X-rays."

"X-rays?" Portia raised an eyebrow. "Where could that be-" she then noticed Hero staring at her and it clicked. "Son of a bitch!" She covered her chest with her arms.

"Oh sorry, force of habit." Hero chuckled.

"You think that's funny? I should call Zenith down here and kick you ass!" Portia threatened.

"Buy me a drink first and we'll see what happens," he winked at her.

Saturn stood up and marched over to Hero. "Wipe that God damn smile off your face! Before I wipe you myself." Saturn then realised what he said. "I mean, I'll kick your ass."

"Calm down Saturn." Robobot said. "I'm sure your insurance will pay for the damages to your car."

"Uh," Saturn looked away.

"You do have insurance don't you?" The robot asked.

"Oh right!" Hero suddenly remembered something. "I do have one other power." He pointed his fist and Black Saturn and pushed a button on his wrist and an energy blast fired which blasted Saturn across the lawn. "Pretty cool right?"

"Oh God it hurts!" Saturn cried out.

"So," Captain Hero was full of excitement, "am I in?"

"Are you out of your f***ing mind?!" Rex snapped. "Your worse than most of the super villains we've fought!"

"Wait," Hero lost his smile. "Are you saying you, don't want me to join the League?"

"Was that too subtle for you?" Robobot asked. "Allow me to be more direct. F*** NO!"

Captain Hero teared up. "Fine!" His voice became high pitched. "I didn't want to join you assholes anyway!" With that he ran off crying, straight through a stone wall.

"Still sounds less whiney then Saturns crying." Brad observed.

"Definitely," Ranger nodded.

"Oh yea," Lex agreed.

"Hey!" Saturn said.

"God damn it." Rex sighed.

Captain Hero ran down the street crying while knocking over street lights, parking meters and a bus stop. "Leslie stop!" Hero stopped and looked up to see Rex flying towards him and land. "I can't just let you leave like this."

"You mean, you do want me to join the League of Freedom?" Hero smiled brightly.

"You didn't let me finish." Rex said. "I can't just let you leave like this, because your f***ing lunatic and a criminal who belongs locked up in a prison cell!"

"What you talkin about Rex?" Hero asked. Rex answered by punching him in the face with his titanium fist and sent him flying through the air and smashing into a wall. Hero shook his head clear and flew up as did Rex. "You wanna play it that way? Fine!"

Hero flew at Rex tackling him, but Rex pushed him off before punching him in the face, then the gut and slamming his fist down on Heroes head, knocking him to the ground. Hero ripped a street light out of the ground and swung it at Rex who ducked and fired a small laser from the tip of his index finger which hit Hero in the face. "GAH!" He dropped the street lamp and covered his face with his hands. "Son of a bitch!" Rex moved in kneeing Hero in the gut, flying up and swinging him around before throwing him back to the ground.

"You've got three seconds to give up before I introduce your balls to Mr Foot." Rex threatened as he landed.

"Oh Please," Hero got to his feet. "With my super speed, you'd never get close enough to lay a finger on my balls. Let alone a whole foo-" he was cut off when Rex sped over and kicked him in the groin.

"That's for being so God damn smart!" With that he uppercut Hero back into the air and flew up after him. Captain Hero held his crotch in pain, but raised his head and fired his laser vision. Rex turned sideways and it missed him. "Gonna have to do better than that."

Back at the mansion, Black Saturn was still on the ground. "Hey Saturn, I brought you some ice." Lex held up a bag of ice. Which was then hit by the lasers and melted. "What the?"

"God damn it." He groaned.

Back at the fight, Hero had recovered enough to raise his fists. "Better huh? Well do have another trick up my SLEAVE!" He pressed the button on his wrist, firing and energy blast at Rex who flew above it. "What?"

"I just saw you use that trick five minutes ago." Rex glared at him.

"Oh right." Hero remembered. "The try outs. It doesn't matter!" He flew up until he was a few feet in front of Rex. "I've defeated old people before, and I can do it again!" As he rambled on Rex looked bored and raised his titanium hand which changed into cannon. It glowed bright purple and Heros eyes widened. "Oh shit." With that he screamed as he was blasted out of the sky and slammed into the ground, cracking it and knocking him out cold.

Rex landed and his hand returned to normal. "What an asshole."

(HERO DENIED)

Like I said when this story first started. Not everyone who auditions will get it and as you've just seen, its pretty obvious why.